No Such Thing as Time

Maggie helps me make popcorn on the stove. She’s never made it this way, said she’s only had it from a bag in the microwave.

“We should see if we can find one of the things to make it in the fireplace, that would be fun,” I tell her.

“In the fireplace?” she asks laughing.

“Yes. I swear it’s a thing. Maybe the next time we can get to a store we can look for one.”

When the popcorn is finished I add just a little melted butter, a sprinkling of salt, and then a couple of pinches of sugar. That’s how my dad always seasoned popcorn.

We take the bowl into the living room.

Sebastian is adding wood to the fire in the fireplace, Dave is sitting on a pillow by the coffee table working on the puzzle we’ve been working on for a couple of days.

I set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, then get a throw pillow off the sofa, set it on the floor opposite Dave, and sit down on it.

Sebastian does the same when he’s finished with the fire.

“Think we’ll get this finished today?” Dave asks us.

“I think we can. We’re over that hump…you know what I mean?” I ask them.

“Yeah, I think I understand. We’ve finished the hard parts, like the sky here where it was all clouds. That was painful,” Sebastian says.

“Exactly,” I reply.

I cram a handful of popcorn in my mouth before I start concentrating on the puzzle.

There are a few different types of puzzle builders. One type picks up one piece and tries to put it everywhere and keep trying pieces until one fits, then they do it all over again. Another type studies what color and shape they need then look through the pieces to see if they can find the one exact piece.

Dave is the former, I’m the latter, Sebastian is somewhere in between and uses both methods. Maggie will sit with us for a while then state there’s too many pieces to this puzzle and then go play with toys or read.

I do think we’ll get it done today with the three of us working on it.

In the six weeks or so since they haven’t returned we’ve built four puzzles, played almost all of our games at least once, and all of us have played with Maggie and her toys.

I have found out that Sebastian cheats at Monopoly so he’s not allowed to be banker, Dave is amazing at poker so I’ll never play for money or strip poker against him, and they hate playing Scattergories with me because I always win.

While we work on the puzzle, Maggie sits by us coloring in one of my old coloring books.

I love to color and if I wasn’t determined to get the puzzle finished I would probably join her.

I need to see if we still have any of my mom’s coloring books and the pencils and markers she had. Her messenger bag she kept it all in was in her closet but I don’t remember if my dad got rid of it or not. She took it to the hospital when she would go for treatment. She said it kept her brain alive.

She had adult coloring books with more intricate designs and details and the pages were made of thicker paper so you could use markers and they wouldn’t bleed through.

Maybe when we’re finished with the puzzle I’ll look in the closet for the bag.

I put a couple of pieces in the puzzle while absentmindedly eating popcorn. I start coughing.

“You alright?” Dave asks.

I nod my head. “I got a salty piece.”

“Want me to get you a drink? I was thinking about getting one for myself,” Dave says.

“Please.”

“Water? Want some of Maggie’s special chocolate milk?” he asks.

“I want milk,” Maggie says.

“Alright, one milk…anyone else?” he asks.

“Do we have any soda left?” I ask him.

“I can check outside. I think we still had some out there,” he replies.

“Yeah a soda would be great, I always have heartburn.”

“Okay one milk, one soda, Sebastian what do you want?”

“Still have cold beer?”

Dave smiles. “I think so.”

He stands up and stretches and yawns before he heads towards the kitchen.

I eat a few more pieces of popcorn and try to find a puzzle piece to finish one section.

I pick up a couple and examine them, then try them, but none are right.

I’m trying another piece when I realize I hear something. I think. I look up at Sebastian but he doesn’t seem to notice, so maybe it’s nothing. I drop the piece I have and pick up another similar one that might work.

I hear Dave in the kitchen making milk for Maggie, then I hear him open the backdoor to get my soda and Sebastian’s beer and I swear I hear something.

I look up again at Sebastian and this time I think he hears something. He turns his head towards the kitchen.

“It can’t be,” I hear Dave say.

I hear it louder. It’s an engine. The sound is muffled from the snow but it’s definitely an engine.

I look back at Sebastian and see he’s looking at me. I look over at Maggie and even she hears it.

“They’re back,” she says and jumps up.

“Maggie, wait. Stay in here with Mara until we know who it is,” Sebastian says.

Maggie comes over and sits on my lap while Sebastian goes into the kitchen.

I try to act like everything is fine. I don’t want Maggie to be scared.

“Is it Lynne? I want it to be Lynne,” Maggie says.

“Me too. I guess we’ll know in a minute. Sebastian and Dave will make sure it’s them,” I tell her.

“If it’s not?” she asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. They’ll keep us safe though. We’ll be alright.”

The engine sound is getting louder. Very slowly though but I’m sure it’s due to the amount of snow on the roads.

Since the sound is muffled from the snow I can’t tell if it’s the truck or someone else. Even if it is someone else I’m sure they’ll stop here when they see smoke coming from the chimney, they’ll know there are people here.

I hug Maggie tight, probably more to comfort myself than her, then I close my eyes and hold my breath like I did that day Amanda and I crawled under my bed and hid from Eddie and Spencer.

It feels like a long time passed by but it’s probably only a minute or two.

The engine sound gets closer and then it stops. For several seconds I hear nothing.

I don’t know if Dave and Sebastian are inside or they went outside. I don’t know if they thought to grab guns. I feel helpless. I wish Maggie and I had gone to another room. Maybe we should try to get to the basement, get to our safe room.

“Can we go see who it is?” Maggie asks.

“Dave or Sebastian will let us know as soon as they know.”

As soon as I say that we hear the back door open.

“Why is no one talking?” Maggie asks.

“I don’t know,” I somehow manage to say.

I hear footsteps, people walking around in the kitchen.

“Mara, can you come in here?” Dave asks me peering into the living room.

Maggie scoots off my lap, she stands next to me.

I slowly stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

I walk to the kitchen. It’s quiet in there. Why is no one talking? All I can hear is my heart beating.

Dave takes a couple of steps into the living room. He holds a hand out to me.

“Mara…” he says as he takes my hand.

We walk towards the kitchen.

“Someone wants to see you,” Dave says.

I start thinking…who could it be? Everyone I know…or knew…is dead as far as I know.

And then I see him.

“I brought you this,” he says holding up a Zero bar.

“Took you long enough,” I reply.

He grabs me before I have time to react.

He holds me so tight. His arms around me, his face in my neck.

I can’t believe it. I don’t know if he’s real.

I wrap my arms around him. I bury my face in his curls. I’ve missed these curls. I inhale as deeply as I can. That’s the way I’ll know it’s him, by his scent. When I breathe in and my nostrils fill with his familiar musky scent I know it’s him.

“So…uh…are we going to unload stuff now that you’ve seen she’s alive?” I hear Spencer ask.

I hear Eddie sigh against my neck. He kisses my neck.

“I love you,” he whispers in my ear before he unwraps his arms from me.

I don’t want to let him go. What if this is another dream? At least every other night I’ve dreamed Eddie was back in my arms only to wake up alone. Well with Maggie, but no Eddie. I don’t want to wake up with empty arms again.

“Lynne!” I hear Maggie scream as I’m letting go of Eddie.

I see Maggie running to Lynne. She’s standing near the back door, holding Sebastian’s hand.

“Oh my gosh I think you’ve grown,” Lynne says picking Maggie up.

“I’m all grown up now. I helped Mara cook, and we took care of the animals, and I had to teach Sebastian how to kill a chicken he didn’t know how isn’t that silly? But I helped Mara chop its head off and then we fried him up,” Maggie says without taking a breath.

“You did all that?” Lynne asks.

“I did! And we built a puzzle, wanna see? I colored all the coloring books too.”

Lynne sets Maggie down. “Let’s get the truck unloaded and then we can sit down and you can show me everything,” Lynne tells her.

Amanda comes in carrying a box. She sets it on the floor and then holds her arms out to me.

I look at Eddie. He kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back, we do need to unload everything.”

I watch him walk out before I hug Amanda, and I hate that I do. She’s been my best friend forever and she’ll always be a big part of my life…I hope.

I hug her tightly.

“I missed you. It was shitty to not have you around. I would have never made it in college,” she says.

I laugh slightly at that.

“You had Eddie, Lynne, and Spencer. You had Spencer,” I say reminding her she had him this whole time and I didn’t have Eddie.

She squeezes me tight, then let’s go. She sighs. “Yeah…I had Spencer.”

I feel like she wants to talk…needs to talk…but there’s no way we can now.

Spencer comes in with a box, sets it down by the table. “Are you going to help?” he asks Amanda.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

“Good, I want to get this shit done so we can eat real food and then go to bed,” he says.

“Alright…I’m coming,” she says and starts to follow him outside.

I grab her hand and pull her back towards me.

“We can talk later,” I quietly tell her.

She tries to smile, nods her head. She turns to walk away, but I see her wipe her cheek with the back of her hand.

Spencer sticks his head back in. “Um…now would be good.”

She looks back at me, looks at me for a few seconds.

“Oh my…you’re getting a belly! You are going to have a baby,” she says resting a hand on my abdomen.

“Yeah…did you think I wasn’t?” I ask laughing.

“I don’t know. I’ll be back,” she says. She leans over and kisses my belly before she goes outside to help.

It doesn’t take them but a couple of minutes to unload everything. I’m glad because I have a million questions to ask and I’m sure everyone else does too.

“I guess you guys already had lunch,” Spencer says.

“Yeah,” I say nodding my head. “We pretty much went back to our original menu, just changed up a few things because we needed to use up some stuff. I could make something though if you guys want.”

“What are the dinner plans?” Eddie asks me.

“Some sort of pasta, red sauce. Maybe some meat in the sauce, we have some cans of beef and pork. And garlic rolls Maggie helped me make.”

“I can’t wait. Can’t wait to eat real food again. Real food made by you,” Eddie tells me.

“We can make you guys something for now, and you can tell us what happened. I’m dying to know and I’m sure everyone else is too,” I tell them.

“Yes. I’ll help Mara, you guys go rest, and then we can all talk, “Sebastian says.

“We can finish the puzzle,” Maggie says grabbing Lynne’s hand and dragging her into the living room.

Eddie was standing behind me, and now he wraps his arms around me, nuzzles my neck.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he says.

I turn around and face him so I can wrap my arms around him.

We stand with our arms around each other for a minute.

“You feel so good. You don’t know how bad I missed holding you, and having your arms around me. I honestly…I never thought I’d feel it again. I wanted to die,” he says.

“I knew you would be back. I just didn’t know when. I knew you would be here before the baby though,” I tell him.

He pulls away slightly, reaches a hand down, and lays it on my abdomen where Amanda had her hand.

He rubs my belly for a minute.

“I can’t believe how much he grew while I was gone. I was so afraid I would never get to see him.”

I kiss his lips. “Go let Maggie entertain you so I can make something for you to eat.”

He smiles at me, nods his head.

“Any ideas on what we can make?” Sebastian asks me.

I shake my head. “We don’t have anything but canned stuff, and I’m guessing that’s all they’ve been eating. I guess I’ll go downstairs, maybe I’ll be inspired.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s all we can do.”

I look through some of the box mixes of food we have, and I think this is the best thing. We have one that says it’s a complete chicken pot pie. It won’t be as good as real fresh chicken pot pie, but probably better than canned stuff.

I show it to Sebastian.

“That should be good. I’m glad we picked those up.”

“Yeah. Let’s get it made so we can find out what happened.”

When we get back up to the kitchen everyone has moved to the living room.

I start reading the directions on the back of the box.

“What can I do?” Sebastian asks me.

“It’s actually really simple. Mostly just dumping it all in a pan and then cooking it. If you want to add some wood to the stove and get my little square pan I think I can finish.”

While I open the box and start getting the separate packages and cans out, Sebastian fills the oven with wood and then gets the pan out for me.

“Anything else I can do?” he asks when he brings me the pan.

“No, this shouldn’t take but a couple minutes. Go catch up with everyone and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Alright, but if you need me just holler,” he says.

I start mixing the ingredients together. That’s about all there is to this, mix, dump, bake. I guess really that’s all there is to most cooking.

I get the main part, the filling, mixed up, I lightly oil the pan, then dump in the filling. Then I mix the topping, some sort of bread crust thing in place of pie crust. I just need the mix and milk. Luckily Dave made a pitcher of milk for Maggie.

I go get the pitcher off the back porch and bring it over to the counter where I’m working. I measure out the milk I need and start to pour it into the pan but I feel someone stand close behind me. Their hands slowly moving from my waist around to my belly. I feel a soft kiss on the back of my neck.

“I need to get this in the oven,” I tell Eddie.

“How long will it take?” he asks while nuzzling my neck.

I dump the milk into the bowl, mix it with the powdered crust mix until it makes a thick sticky dough. I drop dollops of dough onto the pan of filling, then sprinkle some salt and pepper on top.

“That’s it,” I tell him.

He takes his arms from around me, I pick up the pan and put it in the oven.

I turn to face him. He looks good. Maybe lost a couple of pounds in the past weeks, he must have missed my cooking.

He hasn’t shaved very often by the amount of stubble on his face.

Not much else has changed, except there’s something different about his face. When I first saw him I thought he just looked tired, but now seeing him it’s something else, it’s sadness. He looks sad. It’s part of him now. I hope I can make that go away.

He takes a few steps towards me. He looks at me for a few seconds, smiles his smirky smile he has before reaching a hand up and running his fingers through my hair.

I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. His arms are around me.

I’ve missed this. This feels so right. I don’t want to ever let him go again.

I realize he’s kissing my neck. My body is already starting to respond. My legs spreading apart so he can get closer to me. My nipples getting hard and tender. I feel that tingling that starts in my belly, travels down between my legs making me feel hot there.

I can feel his body responding too. His mouth now on mine kissing me roughly. His mouth is hot…his tongue wrestling with mine…it almost feels foreign to me since it’s been so long.

His now erect cock pressing against me.

I realize how much I’ve missed this intimacy. I missed the times when we can be so close…be one person. I don’t think I could ever want to be this close with anyone else.

He kisses my neck, plays with my hair.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he says.

“That’s how I felt too. I wanna know everything that happened. What happened? Where have you guys been?”

He puts a finger on my lips, shakes his head.

“Shh…we can talk about it later. Right now though,” he says and then kisses me. “Right now, why don’t we sneak up to our room,” he suggests.

I want nothing more than to go up to my room with him. I doubt anyone would even notice we were gone.

He takes his arms from around me, takes one of my hands, and he leads me up to our bedroom.

“I’ve missed our room,” he says when we get there.

He stands just inside the room looking around. It hasn’t changed much since he’s been gone.

He walks to our bed and picks up a doll he got for Maggie.

“Maggie’s been sleeping with me,” I explain.

He tosses the doll on the dresser and comes close to me. “I’m jealous.”

“Don’t be, I think now you get to sleep with me forever.”

“I feel bad for Sebastian. He’s probably wanting to be alone with Lynne tonight, but I’m guessing Maggie is going to be there in bed with them,” he says.

“When they move she can have her own room, but tonight they’ll have to figure something out. But you know,” I say and kiss him. “Right now all I want to think about is us…naked…in our bed.”

He pulls his shirts off and drops them on the floor. His pants are off just as fast.

I unzip the hoodie I have on and toss it on the dresser. I push down my pants and then kick them the rest of the way off.

I stand in front of him wearing only my underwear and a long sleeve tee shirt.

He puts his arms around me, rubs his hands on my butt, then turns me around.

“You have on the underwear I picked out that day,” he says smiling.

“Yeah. I did some laundry a few days ago. I like wearing them, reminded me of you.”

“You look amazing in them…but why don’t we take them off?”

I hesitate. I want to be with him, it’s been so long, but maybe we should wait until later.

“I’m sorry. Do you not feel like it? I want to be with you, but I don’t want you to feel pushed or rushed. We can wait,” he says.

I lift my shirt over my head and drop it with his. I kiss his lips. “Let’s get in bed.”

I walk to our bed, take my underwear off and drop them on the floor before I get under the covers.

Eddie follows my lead.

“Lock the door before you get in bed,” I say stopping him.

He quickly locks the door and then gets in bed with me.

I was afraid it would be awkward at first but as soon as he’s in bed his hands and lips are on me.

I try to kiss him…try to touch him…but he keeps moving not seeming to know what he wants.

“Eddie…slow down.”

“Sorry…I just…I missed you I guess. Missed this. And I don’t mean just sex…I missed being close to you. I can’t wait until later when I get to sleep with you,” he says trying to explain.

“I understand. I feel the same. Let’s just take things slow. Lay on your back, let me take care of you.”

I move away from him giving him room while he moves to his back. It’s nice having him on his side of the bed again. It still doesn’t seem real, I wonder if it ever will.

After he has moved to his back I lay there looking at him for a few seconds before I reach up and caress his cheek.

“I was afraid I would forget what you looked like. I was beginning to forget things, like how your lips felt on mine, but other things I could remember so vividly like your voice when you sing,” I say.

He rolls over to his side facing me. “You’re etched in my brain. I can never forget you. I guess I have an advantage though, I have pictures of you, sadly I didn’t have one with me. I’m going to put all of them in my backpack so I always have them.”

“I still want to hear about everything. Where you guys stayed…I need to know what happened.”

“Later…right now let’s enjoy the fact that I was able to come back,” he says before he kisses me.

This is where I always want to be. Eddie’s lips on me. He starts kissing my lips and then his lips are on my neck…my chest…my belly button…

When he’s kissing my lips again, when our mouths are locked tightly together, I wrap my arms around him and roll to my back bringing him with me.

I spread my legs apart so he falls between them.

He lays on me, kissing me, touching me. I’ve missed this so much. Just the intimacy. Doing such personal acts with him.

He raises his hips off of me leaving a smear of precum across my belly.

He grips his cock tightly, guiding it to me.

I spread my legs wider, my body accepting him into me.

I pull him closer to me. I need him as close as possible.

I look up at him, at this face I’ve missed so badly.

He smiles at me briefly before his lips are on mine. I love kissing while we fuck. Sometimes our kissing matching the movements of our hips, or sometimes completely different. This time he’s kissing me so softly and his hips are in sync. Soft, gentle thrusts.

This is exactly what I want right now…what I need. I need to be close to him. I need this to last a while. I wonder if I could convince him that we should stay in bed for the rest of the day and night? I bet I could easily convince him.

He takes his lips from mine. He kisses my neck, then my ear before resting his head on my pillow next to my head.

He’s breathing harder. I can feel his warm breath on my neck, in my ear. It always gives me chills.

He shifts his position slightly so now with every thrust his dick rubs against my clit.

I bend my legs and pull them up towards me so every thrust of his goes deeper into me.

His thrusts are slower now, deeper.

He makes the slightest grunting sound with each thrust.

I know he’s only going to last a few more strokes.

With my legs still up, I wrap them around him. I reach up with my hands and grip his shoulders.

With his cock slowly caressing my clit with each thrust it doesn’t take long before I start feeling that familiar tingling in my belly.

I use my feet on his ass to push him in deeper.

I’m usually pretty quiet when we have sex…silent actually…but I hear myself quietly moaning his name.

I feel myself tighten around his cock. My fingernails dig deep in his shoulders while I fail trying to fight against my orgasm. I was trying to hold off until he was closer…but I can’t.

“Just let it happen, Mara.”

I do. I relax and let my body take over.

With his next thrust, he’s deep inside of me. I gasp when his dick rubs against my now tender click.

One more deep thrust while he groans my name.

He lays still on me for a few seconds, kisses my cheek, then moves over next to me.

“Thanks,” he says. He leans over and kisses my cheek before getting up.

He finds his pants laying on the floor, picks them up, and gets something out of the pocket. He lights a cigarette and then drops a lighter and pack of cigarettes on the nightstand.

He lays back down with me.

“Sorry. I guess I picked up the habit again. Being stuck in the store, nothing to do, access to plenty of cigarettes, I started smoking.”

“Are you going to be able to quit before the baby comes?” I ask him.

“Yeah…probably run out of cigarettes by then anyway.”

“So you guys have been at the store the whole time?” I ask.

He inhales on his cigarette for what seems like a long time, then slowly exhales. The smoke lingering just above us.

“Yeah, been there the whole time. It was stupid and all I wanted was to get back to you.”

“What happened? I mean I know it snowed but that wasn’t until night, why couldn’t you come sooner?”

“I guess it started with Spencer being an asshole. Complaining about everything. How I’m never going to want to leave now since you’re pregnant. It’s not fair that Lynne and all the new people get to have their own house, maybe he and Amanda had wanted it. It’s bullshit that we always split supplies in two, what if he and Amanda still plan on heading south soon.”

“When was he saying all of this?”

“Not long after we left. Just complained the whole way there. Made the whole drive uncomfortable,” he says.

“Why would he want my neighbor’s house if he plans on leaving?”

“I asked him that and he said I don’t need to know all of his business.”

He gets up, opens a window, and smashes his cigarette out in the snow. He shuts the window and gets back in bed. “So the whole drive is tense. I’m thinking we’ll just get what we can, get home, and maybe have a group meeting or something, but we pull up at the store and there’s a van parked by the doors, a guy with a gun standing by it. Spencer says we should all stay in the truck, he can shoot the guy from where we are. I told him I’m not going to shoot someone unless they give me a reason to. So I park near them, turn the truck off and get out. Lynne was sitting by me and she gets out with me.”

“Was Spencer always such an asshole? I can’t understand why you’re friends,” I tell him.

“I guess he sort of was. I think he’s gotten more selfish since everything has happened. But anyway, we walk over to the guy with the gun. I thought when I first saw him that he was around my age, but up close I can see he’s young, maybe fourteen or fifteen. He seemed scared of us. I ask him if he’s alone, I mean…I knew he wasn’t…but I ask him and he says no. He keeps looking at our guns, I knew he was scared. I told him we weren’t going to do anything. We were there to get supplies just like he was.”

Someone knocks on our door. “Mara? I think the food is done,” we hear Lynne say.

“Go ahead and eat, we’ll be down in a bit,” Eddie tells her.

“Okay, sorry to interrupt.”

“You didn’t, it’s fine. Be down in a few,” Eddie says.

“So this kid that looks so scared of us like he’s going to pass out says they’re looking for medicine because his grandma is sick. I tell him, Lynne is a nurse and maybe she can help. He says he’ll have to ask his dad, but he’s in the store. I ask if his dad is alone and he says no, his little sister is with him and a girl they found that’s been traveling with them. His grandma is in the van. I tell him I’ll go inside and talk to your dad, why don’t you let Lynne at least see your grandma, and somehow he agrees. So while he’s taking Lynne to the grandma, I go explain to Spencer and Amanda what’s going on. Mostly so Spencer will stay in the truck and not cause trouble.”

“Did he?” I ask.

“Yeah, until we needed him. So I go into the store fucking scared to death this punk kid has set me up and someone is going to jump me. I shout hello. Nothing. I keep saying hello tell them maybe we can help. I start walking to where the medicine and stuff is, and I find them. Standing in an aisle. Right away I tell them I’m not going to hurt them because they look so scared. I explain that Lynne is a nurse and maybe she can help. He introduces himself, his daughter, and the other girl. She was about sixteen maybe. I suck at figuring out ages. He says his mom has been really sick the past few days. He doesn’t know what’s wrong. We go out to the van while the older girl takes the little one to find something to eat.”

“Do you want to go eat?” I ask him.

“In a minute, I’m almost finished. Unless you want to go eat or don’t want to hear this,” he says.

“I’m not hungry and I want to hear everything.”

“Alright. So we go out to the van and Lynne is already in it checking on the grandma. I motion for Spencer and Amanda to get out of the truck and I introduce them. We all talk. I find out they’re from up north, trying to get somewhere warmer. They had found the other girl in some store. She was scared. Said she was alone so they said she could come with them. Lynne gets out of the van and says she thinks the grandma is dehydrated. The teen boy sits with the grandma while we go inside to get some stuff. Lynne gets some stuff for her to drink, said it had electrolytes in it and that’s what the woman needs. She also gets a couple cans of chicken broth and chicken noodle soup. Lynne goes outside to take care of the grandma and the rest of us start to get the stuff we need. When Lynne comes into the store and finds me, she tells me the old lady is dying. Thinks she hasn’t been eating or drinking and it’s taken a toll on her body, her body is shutting down. She says all they can do is keep her comfortable but she probably won’t make it another week.”

“That’s sad,” I say.

“It is. Poor old lady survives the sickness and then pretty much sacrifices herself so her grandkids can have food and water.”

He sighs. “Do you care if I smoke again?”

“No, but you’re going to quit,” I tell him.

“I will. I promise.”

He gets out of bed and gets a cigarette, lights it, and gets back in bed.

“I guess that’s about it. We all boxed up supplies while Lynne took care of the old lady. I told the older girl to take the little one to get some clothes and toys while the dad got food and water. He said they couldn’t take much since they had limited space. They stayed until it started to get dark. I tried to talk them into staying with us for a while but he was determined to get somewhere warmer. We decided we shouldn’t try to drive at night. We locked up the truck, found an employee break room in the back, and brought some stuff back there to keep us comfortable for the night. Planned on getting up early and heading back because we knew you guys would be worried, and then we woke up to snow. Spencer thought we should still try, but I knew that was a bad idea. At least at the store, we had shelter and food. It sucked though being there…stuck there with them. Fucking arguing all the time. Spencer saying he was just going to leave on foot alone. I told him to do it then. I was tired of his shit every day.”

“So what made you guys decide to come back today?” I ask him.

“I was tired of listening to his shit. I found an outside thermometer, set it outside, and I would check it every morning waiting for the weather to be above freezing so the snow would melt a bit, luckily that was this morning. I told them all to load the truck because we were leaving. I seriously was afraid I was going to lose my shit one day and kill him.”

“Are he and Amanda getting along?” I ask him.

He’s quiet. I look at him. It seems like he wants to say something, but isn’t sure he should.

“Are things going bad with them? I can tell you want to say something.”

He shakes his head. “They just argued a lot. Maybe more than he argued with me. She kept saying if he leaves, he’s leaving without her. She doesn’t want to go. It would be stupid to go. He said fine, first chance he got he was leaving.”

He gets up and puts his cigarette out the same way he did earlier then gets back in bed again.

“They still managed to fuck every night though no matter how much they were arguing. But then one day I guess he changed his mind. Guess he kind of had to. I don’t really want to say much more. Not my place.”

I lay there wondering why he wouldn’t want to leave suddenly…and then I figure it out.

“She’s pregnant,” I say. More of a statement, not even questioning him because I know it’s true.

“I don’t think I should say anything. I know Amanda wants to talk to you. A lot happened in the past few weeks…I’m not sure things will ever go back to how they were. I’m not sure they can.”

I look at him and try to figure out what he means.