This Strange World Needs a Kicking!

Author’s note: I want to address my thanks to all the people who took the time to read chapter one!

curiousaudrey – Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I will update this story once a week!

Chapter Two – A Weakness For… What?!

Kai forced a smile at Pepin, hoping that he didn’t look like a psychopath while doing that. From what he had noticed when looking at his reflection in the mirror, his character didn’t look inclined to smile much.

“Nothing’s wrong, Pepin,” he said in a haughty voice that actually sounded like it belonged to a character like that. Good, good, he had this one in the bag.

His servant pursed his lips and continued to inspect him with shrewd and judging eyes. Kai was sure that if it continued like that, he would end up wilting under that stare.

“You don’t fool me.” Pepin looked away for a moment. “Getting… that kind of attention from Sir Conrad, and all night long… What kind of nonsense were you talking about earlier?” He seemed to stumble over his own words, but eventually, he straightened up, hands behind the back.

“I was just trying to keep you, guys, on your toes. You know, to see if you were paying attention,” Kai said promptly.

Pepin blinked a couple of times. “Paying attention to what?”

Kai placed his hands on his hips. Now was the moment when he would prove that he deserved to be called His Majesty. Did that mean he was a king? Maybe more like a prince…

“To me, of course,” he replied, puffing out his chest.

That only appeared to puzzle Pepin further. “Why wouldn’t I pay attention to you? I live to serve.”

Kai had an inkling Pepin had been about to drop a secret, and by the blush coloring the height of his cheeks, he could only guess. Of course, that was the natural guess since he, apparently, had landed in a BL show, which meant that his servant could have feelings for him. Not him him, but this royal dude whose body he had grabbed while transferring into this world.

“Ah, you see, Pepin,” Kai said in a cheerful tone, “I have to check. For instance, name my most important superpower. Points if you can name a second one.”

“Superpower?” Pepin said slowly.

Ugh, no superpowers? Now that was lame.

“Do you mean your ice magic?” Pepin added.

Ice magic? Cool. So cool.

“Hmm, you’re doing good so far, lad.”

“Lad?”

Right, they were close in age, and probably speaking like a seventy-year-old grandpa wasn’t exactly how Sebastian talked.

“Never mind. Now, you’re not off the hook. How is it that I use my magic? How do I do it?”

Pepin seemed to ponder for a moment. “I don’t know exactly. I’m not a magic wielder. What I do know is that it is enough for you to look at things and -”

“I shoot lasers from my eyes?”

Pepin didn’t have time to comment on that or ask what ‘lasers’ were that Kai decided to try his skill by looking at a vase on a large table. He narrowed his eyes and focused, and in an instant, the vase splintered into pieces. There was white smoke coming from them, like that coming from a bath of nitrogen.

“And I will have to clean that,” Pepin said matter-of-factly, after his initial shock and a slight sound of surprise.

Kai liked Pepin and his attitude. He seemed a cool guy, and he was only two years older. Plus, he had said something about living to serve, which meant that they could work out something.

“Wow, it’s so cool to have ice magic.”

“I suppose it is cool,” Pepin replied, as he produced, like out of nowhere, a small broom, and a dustpan.

Again, cool probably only meant cold in this world. Now, he had other priorities. He needed to dress up, walk around the castle, look for more answers, and, particularly, for his summoner.

“What should I wear?” he said to himself as he continued to inspect the content of his closet.

“I’ve drawn you a bath while you were still sleeping,” Pepin said.

“It’s all right, I don’t need one.”

“Are you sure, Your Majesty? You kept Conrad in your bed all night long.”

There was an insinuation there, Kai could tell. Wait, so it was a BL show… so he must have… but he seemed to be the guy in charge…

He moved a little and squeezed his butt. Then, he relaxed. There was definitely something feeling weirdly… moist? Oh, the horror, he realized. So he was pushing Conrad around, and he wasn’t even… how was that term… on top? He was how his sister, Tani, said, the… uke?!

He had wished to be transported to a different world, and someone was pulling a prank on him. Right, he had wished for that because Milo had suddenly confessed to him… Hmm, that might have played a role in messing up the transfer.

“I’ll take that bath,” he said brightly.

It wasn’t his body, and he hadn’t done anything naughty with a dude, but damn, that felt weird.

“Very well.” Pepin began moving toward a door that had to connect the main room to the bathroom.

Kai followed the servant into a bathroom the size of a dining room. A bathtub cut in marble occupied the center, and there was a pleasant scent of roses in the air. He walked to the tub and grimaced at the rose petals floating on the surface. The people in this world were so extra.

With a shrug, he stepped into the water. It was still warm. He noticed Pepin standing there.

“Shall we begin, Sire?”

“Begin what? Oh, I can wash myself. Just pass me the soap and leave some towels.”

Pepin stared at him with narrow eyes. Hmm, he must have said something weird again. “Are you thinking of replacing me, Sire? Are you not happy with my service?”

Everybody seemed keen on jumping to conclusions, even if he had his best intentions in mind. Conrad thought him capable of executing him, although all he wanted was to have his royal ass left alone, and now Pepin thought he would get fired when he just wished to see to his bath by himself, like any normal person.

“I am perfectly happy. I just don’t want to be, you know, babied all the time.”

“Prince Sebastian,” Pepin said in a stern voice, “please, don’t be cruel. Is it because I just called you by your name earlier?”

Kai sighed and let himself sink into the water for a moment. Pepin probably had some crazy idea about washing him like he was some helpless baby. After realizing that the body he resided in had received plenty of… ahem, attention from a guy, he wasn’t ready for another dude touching him everywhere.

He re-emerged from the water only to find Pepin really close. He yelped in a definitely non-royal manner. “Ugh, man, you scared me.”

Pepin’s eyes were a dark shade of blue, he noticed. And he was pretty, even prettier than some of the girls Kai had crushed on during all his high school years.

And he looked like he was about to cry.

“No, no, no,” he started. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying, Your Majesty.”

“But you’re about to.”

“I’m not.”

“Stop lying.”

Pepin’s face scrunched up. Yeap, he was about to release the waterworks. He had seen Tani doing that plenty of times to know what he was dealing with.

Kai closed his eyes and groaned. “Do you want to wash my back?” he asked, completely resigned with his fate for the moment.

“Certainly, Your Majesty,” Pepin chirped.

Kai looked at him. The guy seemed completely chill now. Ah, he should have known. Tani had fooled him plenty of times with that. Why did he never learn?

Pepin moved behind him and first pushed his hair away. He did something, and soon Kai could tell that his long hair had been twisted into an elaborate braid on top of his head. He groaned when Pepin grabbed his shoulders and began massaging them. “Oh, oh, this is, wow, you’re good, Pepin.”

“I know what Your Majesty likes,” Pepin said quickly.

That was quite the change in attitude, Kai pondered. First, Pepin had entered the room with a sour face, then he had challenged him, but now he acted like a servant scared of losing his job.

Or more?

His mind gears began turning. “Am I the villain?” he asked out loud.

Pepin’s hands stopped for a moment. “No one would dare to say that to your face, Sire,” he said airily.

Oh, damn. Hmm, that complicated things. Villains didn’t have it good in most shows, although they did have good hair, and that was where this Sebastian character seemed to excel.

“What about behind my back?”

“Is that another trick question for me to see if I’m paying attention?” Pepin asked.

Kai said nothing when Pepin pushed him forward and then sank his hands somewhere lower. “Hey, that’s -” he stopped as he felt Pepin’s fingers along his crack. “That’s not in your job description!”

Pepin didn’t seem willing to stop. But when he reached his balls from behind, Kai stood abruptly. “All right, that’s enough for today. I feel completely refreshed. Where is that towel?”

He grabbed it from Pepin’s hand and wrapped it quickly around his waist as he stepped out of the bathtub. Despite his protests, Pepin rushed after him with another towel to dry his hair.

“Now quit following me everywhere, Pepin. It’s annoying. Just get me some clothes I can wear.”

Pepin seemed happy with the order and disappeared into the closet, only to re-emerge with what looked like a riding outfit.

Kai stared at him. “Remind me the order of the day, Pepin.”

Pepin no longer questioned why his master seemed incapable of remembering the simplest things. It looked like Prince Sebastian – who he was right now – was a pretty mercurial character, which meant that not many people would care to contradict him even if he said weird things.

“You will inspect the troops first and train the knights. After that, a light lunch will be served. Then, you will have to meet the court and listen to their grievances -”

Kai groaned and grabbed the outfit from Pepin’s arms. “This sounds so boring. When do I get to fight monsters?”

Pepin remained undisturbed. “Tomorrow. The dragon cave to the west is stirring trouble again.”

“Dragons? For real?”

A small frown from his servant let him know that it wasn’t a good idea to push it.

“Right, dragons. Easy-peasy. They have fire, I have ice magic. Sounds like a piece of cake.”

Why did they have to be so many buttons? Pepin slapped his hands away and began to do the buttons on the vest for him.

That was so weird. Not the fact that someone else was helping him dress up, but the fact that Pepin was so close and smelled nice. Oh, no, what if he was starting to get BL thoughts now?

Pepin looked up, and their eyes met. Sebastian was pretty tall, or Pepin was really short. Definitely, very delicate, and now Kai was starting to get Tani always fawning over her 2D sweethearts from various anime and manga. Prince Sebastian’s faithful servant was the definition of a bishonen – beautiful boy – and Kai had to admit that his heart was beating a little faster.

He shook his head. “All right, then. Lead me to where I need to train the troops,” he ordered in a strained voice.

“Are you sure, Your Majesty? I have a lot of chores -”

“No more chores for you today,” Kai said brightly. He needed Pepin as an ally until he found the person that had called him and figured out what to do. “Find someone else to do it. It is a big castle, right?” By the size of his quarters, he hoped that was a safe assumption. “And you can just call me Sebastian when we’re alone. I won’t fire you. Pinky promise.” He put out his pinky to seal the deal.

Pepin was staring at him, wide-eyed. “I suppose I can do that. But I’m not letting anyone else in charge of your food.”

That sobered Kai instantly. “Would someone try to poison me?”

“You are too precious for the kingdom to leave such things at chance.”

Ah, great, so he was, at least, an unlikeable character.

“Was it enough? Last night?” Pepin asked in a quiet and tense voice.

“Um?” Kai was lost in thought, so he missed Pepin coming closer.

It was too late to fend off the attack. The servant wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. For a moment, strange dizziness grabbed him, but as Pepin’s kiss grew more daring – oh, gawd, there was definitely tongue! – his mind cleared.

He pushed Pepin away carefully, afraid that his superior strength might just send the delicate boy across the room as he had done with Conrad.

Pepin’s eyes were misty, and his eyelashes fluttered prettily. Tani would kill him if she knew the situation he was in right now with this bishonen. Yeah, she would totally have his head.

“Ugh, okay, thanks, I guess,” Kai said and scratched his head. “But what was that for?”

Pepin blushed and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “I know you require it daily.”

He was definitely part of a BL story. “It’s all right. I won’t require it from now on. Look at the bright side, Pepin. One less chore for you,” he said cheerfully.

Pepin’s beautiful eyes shot daggers at him. “Because you have Conrad?”

Right, the naked and handsome killing machine that Sebastian appeared to like doing the nasty with.

“No, I won’t require him, either,” Kai said in a measured tone.

“Are you cured, then?”

Cured? Oh, damn. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t like what he was just about to hear, but he asked anyway, “Cured of what?”

“Your weakness,” Pepin said. “For handsome men.”

Kai groaned internally. That was just great. There had to be some silly BL plot to get him in trouble. “What does it mean? Do I have to do naughty things with guys for mana or stuff like that?”

Pepin seemed a bit lost. “Mana? You don’t use mana. And no, you don’t have to. It’s just… your weakness.”

Kai sighed in relief. It would have been a bummer to have to avoid using his ice magic. “Ah, my weakness, of course. I have everything in check, trust me. Last night cured me.”

Pepin’s eyes narrowed with a look of suspicion. “Cured you?”

“Yes, Pepin. You don’t have to repeat everything after me, like a parakeet. Now, where is that food?”

He suddenly felt famished. Or it was just the body he currently inhabited.

Pepin hurried with the tray and began removing the lids. “It’s cold now,” he said accusingly.

Kai looked at all the exquisite little plates with stars in his eyes. Being royalty surely had its perks. He reached for a tiny croissant and then reconsidered. He threw Pepin a pointed look. “Be honest with me. Did you spit in my food?”

Pepin gasped in righteous outrage. “I would never!”

Kai shrugged. “Good. I was just wondering.” He grabbed the croissant and moaned in delight.

Pepin sat by his side and began creating perfect bite-sized morsels, which he began to push into his face.

“Seriously? I’m not even eating by myself?” Kai asked with his mouth full.

Pepin smiled sweetly at him. He could only guess that there was something else behind that smile.

***

The girl dragged him after her, and, for the moment, Sebastian chose to follow without question. This curse was strange, and unlike others he had had to deal with before. Therefore, for the time being, he had to become a keen observer of his surroundings.

They walked for a while, the girl chatting all the time about things Sebastian could make little sense of. To understand this strange world and get rid of the curse, maybe he would have to learn this gibberish.

In the meantime, he looked around. They were on a street unlike others he had in his world, and there were no horses or carriages. Instead, those shiny contraptions kept flying by, moved by who knew what dark forces.

The girl dragged him to a flight of stairs leading underground. Could that be his first trial? His guide appeared to care not for dangers as she began descending. Other people – perhaps other adventurers trapped in this strange world – poured down.

He stopped. The girl looked at him with an annoyed expression. “What is it now?”

“Do you expect me to walk into danger without a sword?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “It’s the subway. The only danger we have to fend off are people getting on the train faster than us.”

Subway? Train?

“Are you trying to cosplay someone?” The girl squinted at him. “Because you suck. Now let’s go. Mom should be home by now and waiting for us with dinner.”

Dinner, he could understand. Mom was another term he was familiar with. Apparently, he had been cursed with a family in this strange world and a handsome commoner who wanted kisses in exchange for dates, whatever those dangerous things were. This little girl pretended to be his sister, but Sebastian was ready for her to change into a three-headed monster at any moment.

“What is your name, little girl?”

“You’re extra weird today,” she commented. “I’m Princess Tani-Bani-Lulu-Chan,” she added in a high-pitched voice and curtsied.

A princess, then. Well, that meant that he was still royalty in this world. Not that anyone appeared to offer him the required respect, but strange worlds came with strange rules.

He took a bow. “Delighted to make your acquaintance, Your Highness.”

The girl started laughing hysterically. “Wow, you’re really in character.”

She kept taunting him. Of course! She believed him to be her brother, and he had just acted as if he had met her for the first time. He would have to pay more attention to his actions from now on.

They stepped on a shiny platform and appeared to be waiting for something, just like the rest of the adventurers. Sebastian examined them. None seemed equipped properly for slaying monsters.

“Tani-Bani-Lulu-Chan,” he said, “are you sure there will be enough loot for everyone? If only I had my sword, I would make sure to kill the monster in one strike and secure the victory for our house.”

“Just call me Tani, you idiot,” she said as she slapped her forehead and dragged her palm over her face with a groan. “People are starting to stare at us.”

Sebastian shrugged. Attention never bothered him. The more, the merrier. He was about to ask a man dressed in a stylish coat and pants what kind of weapon he carried in that bag he held in his hand when a loud noise announced to him that the monster was approaching.

He would have to use his magic. The monster rushed in, but it wasn’t met with the usual clamor of warriors getting ready for battle. It was a strange-looking thing, made from metal and glass, and… it had people in it!

Tani squeezed his hand and dragged him along. After the people inside poured outside, the ones on the platform walked inside the belly of the beast.

“Oh, it is like a carriage,” he said out loud.

Several pairs of eyes examined him with curiosity.

“Good day,” he said to one of the strangers. “A good day to you, too.”

It wasn’t his habit to address commoners first, but the people in this world seemed to have no idea of manners.

“What the hell, Kai?” Tani hissed at him. “Just grab the bar already.”

Sebastian looked up and then noticed that everyone standing was holding on to that bar. Of course, it was probably how the carriage moved. So people in this world were magic wielders. Except, of course, for the ones sitting. They did appear to be old or weak in some way or another.

Tani wrapped her arm around his. Sebastian drew one breath as he felt the floor under his feet moving. And then, they delved into a dark abyss.

***

He felt a bit sick to his stomach as he walked back to light. Tani then dragged him to a tall building.

“Is this our palace?” It was taller than his residence back in his world, which could mean that he enjoyed a higher station in this one. “Am I the king?” he whispered to himself.

Tani scoffed. “Would you stop with the weirdness? People kept staring at us on the subway because you kept on yelling weird stuff at each stop.”

He had been amazed at the capacity of the metal beast to have people come and go like that, without falter or signs of tiredness. The magic in this world had to be truly powerful.

They entered the building, and Sebastian expected Tani to take him to one of the doors on the ground floor. Instead, she pulled him toward a metal door and pushed him inside a small room with a mirror and a metal panel.