This Strange World Needs a Kicking!

Author’s Note:

BlowPopJ – thank you, as always, for your comment! More naughtiness will follow!

Chapter Sixteen — Cousin Dearest

When Milo flicked open the lights in his bedroom, Sebastian closed his eyes. He was annoyed, and rightfully so. Due to some silly curse, he was in the unfathomable position to play the role of a different person, someone who was as remote from him as anyone could be. What made matters worse was his growing attraction toward this young man. Usually, he would have taken everything he wanted from someone who was infatuated with him.

But Milo wasn’t infatuated with him, Prince Sebastian, protector of Ifigia. No, he was smitten and head over heels with his friend, Kai, and Sebastian couldn’t stand the idea.

He was suddenly weak, and it was all because of the damned fascination he appeared to have developed concerning Milo. The boy shouldn’t have elicited such a strong interest in him by any means. Sebastian had had princes, knights, and high-born nobles in his bed. All of a sudden, he appeared to have lost his coolness when it came to such matters.

It was annoying to the point of being unbearable.

“Are you getting cold feet?” Milo came from behind and began rubbing his shoulders slowly.

“My feet are perfectly fine,” Sebastian replied in a cutting tone.

Milo stopped. “You are,” he said with a tinge of reproach. “You’re bailing out on me.”

Sebastian wished his vocabulary would have been extensive enough to understand this funny way of talking. But he could quickly glean where the source of Milo’s disappointment lay.

“I’m not who you think I am,” Sebastian said and turned to face the other.

Milo caressed his hair slowly, pushing it behind the ears. Sebastian winced and wanted to recoil from that gentle touch.

“Things change, right?” Milo asked, his voice a little sad now. “I mean, it was quite the leap of faith for me to confess. I told myself that I wouldn’t want to lose you as a friend, but the cat is out of the bag, right?”

“The cat is completely out of the bag.” That had to be an expression about how lately, Kai had been acting a bit like a person not exactly in his right mind, Sebastian thought. As self-assured as he had always been in his role as a royal, this strange new world was changing everything he knew about his own self.

Right now, he wanted to lie, to tell Milo what he wanted to hear, only to feel the boy’s calloused hands on his skin, touching him everywhere.

Prince Sebastian wasn’t a liar, and this wasn’t a change he would embrace. “Milo,” he said firmly, “I’m not your friend Kai.”

Milo smiled and kissed him softly. “We’ll take it easy, don’t worry. And we can just make out.”

“You’re not listening,” Sebastian insisted. It was getting progressively difficult to keep his head on his shoulders when he was being kissed gently like that. Milo was close, and the scent of his skin was maddening. They were both a bit sweaty after spending an entire evening at The Pit, and Sebastian appreciated being able to inhale Milo’s natural smell.

It was just one of the little things that made him weak to the knees whenever a handsome young man was in his presence.

“I’m listening,” Milo protested, but he giggled, making Sebastian feel the tiny hairs on his nape rise.

“I am Prince Sebastian of Ifigia, and I’m here because of a strange curse,” he continued while digging his nails into his palms and enduring Milo’s gentle assault with increasing difficulty.

“All right. What would you like to do, Prince Sebastian? Wasn’t it Sendrian, though?” Milo’s handsome face scrunched up in thought.

“No, I’m not talking about the prince from that book,” Sebastian explained. “I’m real, not a fictional character.”

Milo smiled and brushed his lips ever so slowly across Sebastian’s mouth, pouring heat into his veins. “I can tell. Do you want me to call you Your Majesty? Will that get me into your pants?” He snickered like the naughty boy he was.

“I have a feeling you believe I’m speaking in jest.” Sebastian put his hands against Milo’s chest.

His fingers moved by themselves. His weakness was getting the better of him, and he began caressing the other through the fabric of his t-shirt.

“No, no, I totally get it,” Milo protested, but he grinned as he snuck one hand under Sebastian’s t-shirt and pinched one nipple hard. “I’ll call you what you want.”

Sebastian hissed as Milo continued to attack both his nipples now. As the prince of the realm, he had always conducted matters of such a nature as the one in charge. Without a doubt, his lovers could only treat him so roughly only when he commanded it. To have it done to him without his being the one to order it was unthinkable.

And yet, so arousing, to the point that he felt turning weak in Milo’s arms.

“You brought this on yourself,” Sebastian huffed and grabbed Milo by the front of his t-shirt. “I am not to be held responsible for what will follow.”

Disobedient green eyes challenged him. “Oh, yeah?” The alluring mouth talked, so Sebastian was left with no other way to make it stop but to kiss it to perdition.

Even so, he knew he would be responsible for all eternity for stealing this young man’s affection when he wasn’t in the least entitled to it, and he was sneaking inside his heart like a thief.

“I want to kiss you all over, Your Majesty,” Milo said, his beautiful lips curled in a mischievous smile. “Is that all right?”

Sebastian pushed him against the bed and climbed on top of him. From his vantage point, he stared down Milo, hoping he would at least have a modicum of his imposing presence while in Kai’s puny body. But Milo looked not at all impressed, and instead of cowering under Prince Sebastian’s well-known cool gaze, he bit his bottom lip and stared back with unhidden want in his green eyes. “I don’t mind if you want to take the lead. Maybe you’ve watched more tutorials than me,” he said with a small, embarrassed chuckle.

He was just that fine combination between someone with no experience whatsoever and one ruled by desire. Sebastian groaned as he leaned in and took Milo’s mouth. He didn’t hold back this time; he didn’t consider it a necessity anymore to play the role of shy, inexperienced Kai.

Milo didn’t believe him and treated everything as if it were a joke. Sebastian wanted nothing but to exact the proper punishment. He felt the other squirm under him as he used everything he knew about kissing a man and arousing him to no end. With one hand wrapped firmly along Milo’s jaw, he conducted his sensual assault by tasting to the fullest the naughty mouth that fascinated him so much.

Milo moaned prettily as Sebastian found his way inside, teasing him with his tongue over and over until his soft grunts turned urgent with growing desire. When he finally let go of him, Milo was panting and staring at him in awe. “Is this how we’re going to make out? I don’t think I’ll last five minutes.”

Sebastian dismounted Milo and went for the prize. The other didn’t utter one word of protest as he was freed from his trousers and undergarments, left naked save for the t-shirt covering his upper body.

Maybe it would be a night for firsts, after all, Sebastian decided, the rush of a new feeling coursing through his veins. He was the one to be pleasured, he had always been that, but right now, Milo deserved better, no matter how playful his gaze was and how he didn’t believe a word Sebastian was saying.

“Oh, wow, oh,” Milo stuttered as Sebastian made a move.

His lips were wrapped around the engorged head, and the sudden taste on his tongue stopped him. The rules of his life were simple. Never indulge too much in desire or its fulfillment. Of course, he had rarely obeyed it, if ever, when it came to men, but there had been boundaries he hadn’t crossed.

Until now. Milo was correct in his assumption that Sebastian had spent some valuable time perusing videos aimed at showing in detail what went on between two men when naked and driven by the same want for one another. He moved his mouth together with his hand ever so slowly, not knowing if he was doing it right.

Never before had he felt so vulnerable in front of another. And Milo didn’t know of it, couldn’t know, for the simple fact that the truth was impossible to believe.

He moved so that he ended on his knees, in front of the bed, between Milo’s legs. It was easier like this, he convinced himself, as his own desire guided him on how to move and make it better for the man he was kneeling for.

It was a strange sort of atonement, he fought his addled mind urging him to rush. Then Milo’s hands rested on his head and began caressing his hair. “I can’t believe it,” he whispered, “you’re… you’re sucking me…”

Sebastian didn’t need a crude explanation of what he was doing at the moment. But Milo’s low and ragged voice, the wonder in it at being tasted in that manner, were enough to make him go further.

He almost regretted never indulging before in such practices with other men. No, it wasn’t regret he was feeling, but the complete opposite. He was strangely elated for experiencing such a thing for the first time, for being the one to kneel, something unheard of, something unfathomable for someone like him.

“You’re too good, you’re so good,” Milo breathed out. “Don’t stop, please, you’re killing me.”

Sebastian knew that Milo didn’t mean that. He understood the soft plea, and it was his sole intention to make the young man surrender to him completely. All this time, he couldn’t understand the power the handsome men that had passed through his life had had on him. But now he did.

“Ngh, no, too much,” Milo keened, “just… I think I’m going to… Kai!” he shouted with sudden urgency.

Sebastian moved his hand faster. Those pleas were meant to stimulate him to keep going, but he was still taken by surprise when Milo stilled, only that part of his body twitching and pulsing. He knew what was in his mouth, but what was harder to believe was that he didn’t mind it at all.

No, on the contrary, it was his reward.

Moments later, when he got to his feet and licked his lips, only that sentiment of fulfillment remained.

Until he looked at Milo. He had one arm thrown over his face, and his skin was flushed. “If you want to kick me in the nut sack, just do it,” he mumbled.

“Why would I do that?” Sebastian asked, rightfully puzzled.

Milo let his arm drop and threw Sebastian a look that belonged to a kicked puppy, not a handsome young man like him. “I came in your… argh, I can’t believe I did it! I’m such a jerk!” He suddenly jumped to his feet, his face all crimson. “Should I get you something? A glass of water? Juice? Mouthwash?”

Sebastian grimaced. Of all the inventions ever-present in this strange world, he found mouthwash to be unusable and downright disgusting.

Milo must have interpreted his expression for something else because his face fell. “It’s yucky, right? I’m so sorry!” He ran his hands through his hair, and then he kneeled suddenly. He brought his hands in front, clasping them together. “Please, please, forgive me for being such a huge jerk.”

It wasn’t that Sebastian didn’t enjoy watching that beautiful man at his feet, but he didn’t have to feel so troubled. He touched his lips and then licked them. “I have nothing to forgive. I must say that I wasn’t expecting it to be so palatable.”

Milo’s face went through a formidable transformation. He got to his feet and caught Sebastian’s face between his palms. Then he kissed him hard and quick. “You’re the best boyfriend ever, you know that, right?”

“Of course,” Sebastian replied, giddy at the praise and annoyed for feeling so at the same time.

Milo chuckled and rubbed their noses together. “That means it’s my turn.”

Sebastian caught him before he would kneel. “No, that won’t be necessary. I’m rather tired.”

He was lying through his teeth. He knew at least one part of his body that didn’t agree at all with him.

Milo appeared disappointed. “Are you sure? I want us to be, you know, reciprocal and stuff.”

But that was something Sebastian couldn’t allow. For the first time in his life, he realized that he had first to give to earn the right to receive.

***

His tongue was weighing a ton, or so it felt, and his head was pounding. Kai extracted himself from the bed and Pepin’s embrace with the only thought of hitting the bathroom and deal with whatever he had to deal with to get rid of those unpleasant sensations.

“I’ll never drink again,” he promised himself. What the hell had he been thinking, taking to the bottle like that? What if he became an alcoholic? He would be a sad drunk, he was sure.

Suddenly, the memory of what had happened after drinking that delicious liquor hit him with the power of a freight train. No, he wouldn’t be a sad drunk, but a pretty gay one. For some reason, he had taken a trip to the wild side the night before, and he could only blame it on the drinking. And with Pepin, of all people!

Pepin was supposed to be off-limits. He was his best friend in this world, and people didn’t just go around sucking off their best friends, right? Conrad would have been a different matter since he was the concubine, but —

What the hell was he thinking right now? All right, so it was a disaster, and he needed to deal with it, somehow. He half-turned and looked at Pepin, who was still sleeping. The beautiful face looked serene, and most probably, the servant didn’t believe that what had happened last night was a disaster, like he thought.

No, Pepin was in love with Sebastian, and Kai had managed to make a mess out of it. Now, of course, Pepin would expect things to evolve between them. It had been, probably, just casual sex, not that Kai had any idea about any kind of sex, as he was yet to have some.

Only that he had had some; the realization struck him and kept him paralyzed there, staring at Pepin. One look at those rosy lips and he could recall everything in the tiniest detail, how soft they had been on his… the-thing-he-wouldn’t-think-of-right-now.

Kai pushed his hands through his hair and winced at how tangled it was. Pepin was the guy in charge of brushing his hair, so as soon as he learned that they had had nothing but casual sex, he would most probably use his comb to make sure there was no hair left on His Majesty’s head.

Therefore, he needed to embrace life as a bald guy. But would Pepin stop at that? Kai began to ponder over what the ruthless fate — that he had pretty much laid down for himself — had in store for him. He would have to give Pepin satisfaction somehow, once for the simple fact that Kai would have to get back into Sebastian’s shoes and act like an unfeeling prick, and second because he had stolen the servant’s first sexual experience. And third, of course, for fooling him into thinking he was Sebastian, which might have made Pepin feel like in heaven last night.

Kai began pulling at his hair. At that pace, Pepin might not have to take his vengeful comb at him and leave him bald. He was doing a pretty good job, as things were.

“What am I going to do?” he moaned.

Pepin stirred in his sleep, and Kai panicked in the blink of an eye. If those blue eyes opened and looked at him filled with love, he could only hope that the earth would open underneath his feet and swallow him. He didn’t even ask to be spit on the other side in his real world. He deserved to be punished for his stupid actions from last night. And he could never face Pepin again, not in this life.

Maybe a good idea was to lock himself in the bathroom forever. He would conduct the courtly duties by having his orders shouted through the door. They could carve a tiny opening and slide a tray of food at convenient times… But how would he go about fighting dragons and such if he remained locked in there?

“Your Majesty,” Pepin called sleepily, “is it morning already?”

No more time left to think. Kai panicked for real. The blue eyes were staring at him, exactly like he had expected. “Yes, and you’re still in bed,” he said in an obnoxious tone.

Pepin frowned slightly. “I’ll tend to you right away.”

Kai put one hand up. “No need. I’ll brush my hair alone. And do all the other things by myself. You can sleep some more if you want. You totally got wasted last night.” He winced as he said the words.

Good going, Kai, blame it on him.

The blue eyes blinked. “I remember clearly that you were the one barely keeping on two feet. I had to carry you here.”

Ah, damn, Pepin wouldn’t fold down like a good old towel. Of course not, he was no doormat and no towel, either.

“You did? Maybe you did,” Kai said while pretending to be thinking hard, “as I can’t recall a single thing. The last thing I remember is drinking that thing. And then that I woke up in my bed, like five minutes ago.”

Pepin frowned and straightened up. He looked amazing, even with bed hair and burning eyes. Kai hoped he wouldn’t get out of the bed to confront him, or he might break into a naked run around the castle only to escape the guy’s rightful retribution.

“You… don’t remember a thing? From last night?” Pepin asked quietly and gathered the blanket around his naked body.

Why was he covering himself? It wasn’t like Kai was ogling him or anything, right?

No, he was totally ogling him. Pepin had to feel weird because of that.

“I like totally blacked out,” Kai said, trying to sound credible. To his ears, he was practically screaming himself a liar. “What? Did something happen? Something I should know?”

Too bad he could sound like an arrogant prick so easily while in Sebastian’s body. Pepin recoiled at his words. He got out of bed and began dressing up. “I’ll be with you in a minute, Your Majesty.”

“Hey, you don’t have to call me ‘Your Majesty’ every single moment. And we’re alone,” Kai insisted.

Pepin straightened up his waistcoat and brushed his hair with his fingers. Then he gave Kai a look that could freeze water at the equator. “I do have to call you that, given that you pretend you don’t remember what happened between us last night. Just so you know, a dismissal on the grounds that you like Conrad better or that you simply don’t care about me would have been more honest.”

Kai opened his mouth to say something in his defense, but nothing came out.

“But you are my lord and master,” Pepin continued, “so I should be content with the small glimpse of happiness you spared for me last night.”

Kai rubbed the back of his head. He was totally lost about what he was supposed to do. A sort of gut instinct — it had to be related to the digestive system since it came from the stomach somewhere — pushed him to walk over to Pepin, take him in his arms, and beg to be forgiven.

But he still had that other instinct that catered to self-preservation advising him against it.

“I… have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said with half a mouth.

Pepin didn’t move his eyes away, keeping him under that scrutiny for a little more. “And I don’t know you anymore. For some reason, you chose to act differently last night and now you’re taking it all back. I’ll always serve you, Your Majesty, but I cannot promise that I’ll continue to love you the way I’ve done so far.”

To his surprise, Pepin walked stiffly out of the room.

“Hey, weren’t you supposed to tend to me…” Kai called meekly.

He hurried after him but stopped by the door. He could swear he had heard a small sob followed by running steps.

***

With incredible difficulty, he managed to brush his hair without pulling it all out of its roots and dress up. What was he going to do with Pepin? The guy was mad at him and for all the right reasons. The last thing the servant needed in his life was to have casual sex — even if it had only been oral — with the dude he’d been crushing on for years. Kai pinched the bridge of his nose and sniffled. He felt awful, and he didn’t know what to do to correct what he had done to Pepin without blurting out who he really was. Would he be burned at stake? Tied to four horses and then smacked on the butt? The horses, not him. Disemboweled, maybe? He had no idea what kind of punishment awaited him for impersonating someone as important as Prince Sebastian.