This Strange World Needs a Kicking!

Author’s note: Thank you for reading this story, everyone! Oh, boy, things will start to heat up! Gradually, but still. So I won’t say anything more, but I will address my special thanks!

BlowPopJ – indeed, Seb is falling, and falling so hard… He truly is. Glad that the trio is making you laugh. I laugh, too, while I’m writing their story.

Anon – I understand completely, and I truly want to find a satisfying resolution for everyone. I don’t know if you’ve read any of my other works, but I’m all for happy ends!

curiousaudrey – ha-ha-ha, Pepin… I don’t see he dared a lot of things with the real Sebastian, lol. But he’s getting out of his shell, more and more. He might even surprise you! (I hope). As for what will happen between them three, I like to believe that the story will steer in such ways that it will feel satisfying. I laughed while reading about the ‘intensity’ felt by Seb in Kai’s body. Poor guy, he doesn’t even start to realize, lol!

And now, onto the next chappie! Have fun reading!

*****

Chapter Eleven – Do You Need Any Help With That?

“The outfit and wig will come by tomorrow,” Milo explained to him. “We’ll have time to see how you look in them before heading over to The Pit. But now, I guess we should study for a bit and then I have to take you home, right?”

It wasn’t difficult to realize that Milo was disappointed with that prospect. He must have prepared to use those manhood enlargement potions, and now they no longer had time to do so. They would have to talk about the perilous effects of such magic. Sebastian had thoroughly searched for information, and he had been flabbergasted to learn that some things could be downright dangerous to use.

“Yes. But I will come by your house tomorrow after school, too.”

Milo perked up right away. He appeared much invigorated now with the promise that they would be alone the next day once more.

“But no potions,” Sebastian said and wagged a finger at his boyfriend.

“What potions?”

“The ones you got. We don’t need them.”

Milo smirked and searched for something in a drawer. He threw some items on the bed and then rubbed the back of his neck and laughed nervously. “Feel free to call me stupidly hopeful.”

Sebastian picked the tube first and examined it with keen eyes. Good thing most items in this world came with explanations written directly on them. His eyes grew wide as he read. “Toy friendly? I’m not wasting this on toys,” he said with conviction.

Milo snickered and grabbed the tube from his hand. “I hope not.”

Sebastian directed his attention at the box next. “Large size?”

At that, Milo blushed. “Great. Now you think I’m full of myself.”

“Actually, I don’t. Let’s see it.” With steady hands, he opened the box and took one smaller item out from the many neatly arranged inside. “What is this for?”

Milo sighed and took it from his hands. He ripped the foil with his teeth and presented its content to Sebastian. “I guess I should have asked.” His cheeks turned crimson. “But you did say something about, um, inside… so it’s me who’s going to… you know. Right?”

What unfathomable thought could be torturing Milo right now?

“What is this for?” he repeated the question.

“C’mon, dude, it’s not you’ve never paid attention in sex ed, right? Or maybe you haven’t. It’s a condom. It goes on your dick. I mean, my dick.” Milo wiped his forehead with the back of the hand. “Or yours. If you want.”

“Why?” Sebastian insisted.

Milo laughed nervously now. “I… I mean, it’s how it’s done, right? Not that we have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, and, um, you know. It’s not like we’ve had other partners,” he eventually blurted out. “But I thought we’d use some.”

Sebastian was already busy getting updated on condoms and their uses on his phone. “Ah,” he said, feeling disappointed. “So you don’t want to do it inside?”

Milo plopped on the bed, groaned, and covered his eyes. “Do you want us to study today? Like, even a little? And I thought, I don’t know,” his words came out muffled from behind his hands, “you wouldn’t want me to, you know, go raw.”

Raw. Sebastian’s fingers were so quick as he tapped away. He frowned for a moment. “But I do want it. Raw,” he added.

He understood that the strange world he had landed in had its dangers and the reasons why condoms were necessary for some couples, but there was no need for them. And he would be disappointed if he didn’t get to enjoy the sensation of Milo’s warm seed inside him.

The other boy peeked at him by parting his fingers slightly. “For real? You’re killing me,” he moaned.

“How am I doing that?” Sebastian protested. “Oh, so it is you who wants to use condoms. I see. As you wish,” he added while pretending to be unaffected by his boyfriend’s decision.

“No, no, it’s not like that.” Milo straightened up and took him by the shoulders. His cheeks were still red, but his eyes were shiny. “I would totally do you raw. Oh, man, what do you have me saying?” he complained. “How am I going to sleep tonight?”

Was that a trick question? “As you usually do,” he replied.

Milo sighed and pressed their foreheads together. “I don’t know how you can be so chill about it all. I feel like I’m about to go out of my own skin.”

Oh, so he wasn’t the only one to feel like that. It was a comforting thought. “I feel the same,” he admitted.

“You do? Because you sound so cool, and, I don’t know, knowledgeable. While I’m a total mess.”

“You have nothing to worry about.” Sebastian caressed Milo’s hair, so lovely and smooth to the touch, overly conscious of how clumsy his hands were. “I’ll watch videos about it.”

Milo laughed softly. “I suppose I should do the same. And it might help me fall asleep tonight.”

“Do you fall asleep while watching such materials?” Sebastian asked in awe. “I find them so arousing that I can hardly get any sleep.”

A small snicker was the answer. “Then maybe you should just jerk off.”

“Jerk off?” Sebastian threw a longing look at his phone, but he couldn’t let go of Milo to search for the meaning of that term.

“You know. Charm the snake, spank the monkey, toot your horn…”

“Will doing all those things make my arousal go away?” Sebastian asked, intrigued. “But where should I procure a snake or a monkey… Why are you laughing?”

“I’m so happy you’re my boyfriend, Kai. Seriously, I thought things would be so weird and awkward, but you just make me laugh, and it all feels all right.”

That made him feel rightfully annoyed, but Milo did like to laugh a lot, and, apparently, he had the abilities of a jester in this world. As much as he disliked it, such abilities were quite opportune and helped him out of situations that could have caused him inconveniences otherwise.

“Let’s study,” he said brightly. The soonest he got home, he would start asking his phone more pressing questions, such as methods for making arousal go away and also about toys that appeared to be sexual in nature.

He still had so many things to learn.

***

In the end, he had fallen asleep with both Conrad and Pepin wrapped around him. Waking up, however, came with its fair share of problems.

Kai opened one eye and took a cautious look down his body. “Oh, great,” he mumbled.

What he had to do right now was to get out of the bed without his loyal servant and troublesome concubine catching a whiff of it. The moment he would be up and about, his little morning problem would go away, without a doubt.

It had to be because Prince Sebastian was a sex-crazed beast, he tried to convince himself. And it had nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with how Pepin had held his hand over his chest all night long or how Conrad had chosen to keep his thigh dangerously close to parts of his body that weren’t supposed to be touched.

He barely moved an arm that Pepin raised his head. “Your Majesty,” he said groggily. “Do you want to get dressed? Allow me to help you.”

“No, no. Just stay and sleep. I can get dressed by myself.”

That simple protest was enough to spring Pepin into action. Suddenly, he was lively like a sparrow, getting out of bed and starting to move things around. Kai watched him as he went straight for the wardrobe. “Pepin,” he whispered. “I’m not getting dressed just yet. I want to grab a shower… I mean a bath and eat something first.”

“Right,” Pepin said brightly.

Something told Kai that his servant was not yet completely awake. Maybe Pepin wasn’t used to staying up late. The always perfect servant would be so mad at himself once he realized he had overslept. Kai snickered as he imagined Pepin’s lips pursing in self-annoyance. He was just so expressive and cute.

“Get back to bed,” Kai ordered, still in a hushed voice.

Pepin obeyed without commenting and climbed on the bed. “Do you want me to help with that?”

Kai kept his eyes on the ceiling. “With what?” He had to congratulate himself for keeping a straight face and a steady voice as he said that.

He winced as Pepin poked the ‘that’ with one finger. “This.”

“Pepin, I can’t believe I have to say this, but seriously, dude, hands off my dick.”

There was movement from his right, and a rough hand landed on his not-so-little problem anymore. “Yes, servant,” Conrad said, “don’t you have anything else to do but annoy your master? This is my duty.”

“Conrad, down, boy,” Kai ordered and whimpered as his concubine proved deaf to his complaints and just continued to tease him with his hand.

He could tell there was another hand there, lower, and it didn’t belong to Conrad.

“As I well recall, such stimulations are beneath you.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Kai started and pushed against Conrad’s head just in time.

Intrigued eyes stared back at him. “Don’t you want me to use my mouth? It’s true that you said something before -”

“I don’t want you to use anything,” Kai said as sternly as he could.

Conrad was just moving his hand while continuing to stare at him, no less confused than before. At the same time, Pepin was getting busy with his balls. Kai squirmed in a failed attempt to get away.

“But you’re like this,” Conrad pointed out.

Kai didn’t want to ask for additional information. Trying to get away from those two was completely fruitless. Their hands seemed to find his dick, no matter what he did.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

I can’t push them away. I’m obscenely OP.

If I do, Pepin might end up with some broken bones, and Conrad is not yet fully recovered.

But this, oh, this…

“My dudes, would you cut it out already?” he asked, while a small tremble coursed through him head to toes.

He struggled lightly to get out of his bed partners’ hands, but somehow he only managed to make the situation worse. Eventually, he turned on one side. If he suddenly sprang out of bed, he might just get away.

Bad strategy. Conrad glued to his back and continued to stroke him while Pepin straddled him in that awkward position and kissed him abruptly.

Oh, damn.

That was pretty much all he could think of. The next moment, something was happening, not at all unpleasant, but too much at the same time. He let out a small weird sound and finally succeeded in pushing Pepin out of his way and getting out of bed and as far as possible from Conrad.

“You guys!” he exclaimed, feeling his entire face on fire.

The two troublemakers were staring at him in disbelief.

“You don’t just grab a guy by the dick!” He pointed an accusing finger at them. “Take him out to dinner first or something!”

“Your face is red!” Pepin was the first to find his voice.

“And you’re still like -” Conrad raised one arm.

“Shut up!” Kai closed his fists, squeezed his eyes shut, let out an annoyed grunt, and rushed to the bathroom.

He slammed the door behind him and pressed his back against it. Maybe they won’t follow him there. Yes, his message must have been clear. Loud and clear.

“How will I survive this?” he murmured to himself and banged his head against the door.

“Your Majesty,” Pepin’s voice came faintly.

“Just let me be, you pervs,” Kai shouted.

“What are ‘pervs’?” Pepin asked.

“You’re too young to know that,” Kai replied, still shouting.

“Then how can I be one? Will you please let me in?”

“No way! You touched my balls!” Kai protested.

“I always do when I wash you. How is today any different?”

If you only knew, Pepin, if you only knew… You’d probably want my head.

“I’m… sensitive today. Yeah. I don’t want to be touched.”

“But Conrad did, too.”

“And I hate him for it just the same,” Kai said back.

There was finally silence.

Oh, no, what have I said? Now Pepin thinks I hate him!

Well, it serves him right. You don’t touch a guy’s balls out of the blue like that.

But he’s the one who’s feeding me.

He’ll get over it.

After that short debate with himself, Kai sighed. Well, he needed to find a way to keep both Pepin and Conrad away from him. Not that it was unpleasant when they touched him, but that was actually the problem.

“Oh, no,” he whispered, “am I really turning into a BL character?”

Yeah, that had to be the problem.

“Pepin,” he began hesitantly. “Pepin!” he said louder as there was no answer from the other side.

If Pepin got mad, he was in deep, deep trouble. Just thinking of those blue eyes shooting daggers at him was enough to feel dark chills down his spine. Without wasting another moment, he pulled open the door.

Only to find himself face to face with the two guys who were making his experience in a fantasy world so complicated.

“I told you he wouldn’t last long,” Conrad said with a sly smile.

Pepin scoffed and turned his head. However, he peeked at Kai from the corner of one eye.

“Conrad, go train with the knights or something,” Kai said, trying to act all casual. It was Pepin who he needed to make good with.

“I’m barely out of my sick bed,” Conrad pointed out.

Kai was pretty sure he didn’t like the guy’s smirk, not one bit. “Right. Then go rest in your room or something.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Conrad moved slowly and walked over to him. Kai pretended he was unaffected as the guy leaned in and tugged at his cock. Now that was outrageous, so he outrageously let out an outraged sound. “See you later.”

“He will see you when he deems it appropriate,” Pepin intervened and pulled Conrad away. “Now off you go, Sir Conrad.”

“I’m a ‘sir’ now? And can’t you see I’m naked?”

“The people around here have seen worse. Now, go. I’ll deliver clean clothes later to your quarters.”

Conrad mumbled something, but it looked like Pepin had a sort of authority that Kai needed to learn from.

He sighed in relief once Conrad was out of the room. At least, he only had Pepin to worry about now.

Only. Right. As expected, the blue eyes were shooting daggers at him.

“What?” he asked, pretending to be all innocent.

Pepin set his chin high and began to make the bed.

“Are you giving me the cold shoulder?” Kai asked. “After you and Conrad thought it a good idea to molest me first thing in the morning?”

“Molest you?” Pepin smacked one pillow against the bed, making small feathers float in the air. “If I remember correctly, each time you have a new bed partner, the young maids in this place need to cover their ears in fear that they might end up losing their virginity by that alone!”

It was Kai’s turn to scoff. “Seriously, that’s so stupid. And I mostly see guys around here.”

Pepin continued to fluff the pillows, although by now, Kai was sure the feathers flying everywhere were enough to cover a bald chicken. “You are quite descriptive in your demands while being made love to. Only before, with Sir Conrad -”

“I don’t want to know,” Kai warned him. “And I thought you were on my side.”

Pepin turned brusquely on his heels. “I am on your side. But I’m also tired of waiting. When is it my turn? Was it all a lie?”

Kai stopped. “What are you talking about?”

Pepin pouted and sat on the bed. Kai considered it safe to do the same, although he allowed a few good inches between them.

“Your mother chose me for you, to be by your side forever. And I thought,” Pepin covered his face with his hands, “that it meant more than just being your servant. Only that you just keep on bringing these uncouth men to your bed, like Sir Conrad.”

Oh, no. This time, Pepin looked truly upset. Kai scooted closer and carefully grabbed him by the shoulders. “But you are more than that. You’re my friend, Pepin. My closest friend.”

He wasn’t lying. So far, the servant had proven quite helpful and also kind-hearted. Even while considering Conrad his rival in love, he hadn’t spared anything to help Kai get the dragon’s tear so that they could save him. And he had done that out of loyalty and a sense of duty which could only be admired.

Maybe it was a good idea to say all those things out loud. “Pepin,” he began, “I admire you. You have a kind heart, and you’re loyal. It’s everything I want in a friend.”

Finally, the slender hands lowered from the servant’s eyes. “A friend?”

“Yes,” Kai replied.

His heart squeezed a little as he saw Pepin’s red eyes. He hated to be the cause for someone to cry.

“A friend you go on adventures with?” Pepin asked in a hopeful voice.

Kai smiled. “Sure thing. You were really brave at the dragon’s cave. Heck, you could’ve been killed!”

Pepin moved closer. Now their faces were so close. Kai bit his lower lip and blinked hard. He doubted that he had ever seen anyone more beautiful in his life. The blue eyes were the bluest he had ever seen, and the smooth cheeks were the smoothest he had ever seen, and the pink lips were the softest he had ever seen…

“A friend you sometimes kiss?”

Kai rolled his eyes and pulled away. “You had to ruin it, right?” He turned his head. Funny thing, he could recall the way Pepin and Conrad both kissed. Pepin was sweet; Conrad was fierce.

Sweet? Fierce? He covered his face and dropped on the bed with a small moan. “I’m really turning into a BL character,” he whispered to himself. “Who really thinks guys’ kisses are sweet or fierce?”

“Which one am I?” Pepin hovered, and Kai could tell he was there, but at least they weren’t touching.

“I’m not talking to you. You’re looking to trap me.”

“In a marriage? Far from me, Your Majesty.”

“Marriage? I wasn’t thinking that far. And it’s not like you could anyway, right?” Kai laughed and opened his eyes.

Pepin was still there, hovering. Still beautiful. “Then if you’re not afraid of that,” he said, “you should feel free to kiss me anytime.”

“Yeah, okay, but do I wanna?” Kai snorted and tried to get to his feet.

Pepin pushed against his chest and forced him down. “If you kiss Conrad, you’ll have to kiss me just the same. Anything you do with him, you will have to do with me, too.”

“Well, that’s a relief, then. Because I don’t intend to do anything with Conrad. Therefore, you’re safe. I mean, I’m safe.”

“So, do you agree?”

“Totally.”

“You’re giving your word?”

“My royal word, yeah,” Kai confirmed.

“Good.” Pepin straightened up and finally released him. “Because I remember very well about a certain spell on Conrad’s heart that requires you to kiss him and make love to him.”

Kai felt his jaw-dropping. “You cheeky… ah, damn.”

“You gave me your word,” Pepin warned him.

“I did.” Kai let out a long sigh. “You should be in politics or something, Pepin. You’re sly like a fox.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“And now, you’re just teasing me by pretending to respect me. I’ll just go wash my face. Don’t come after me.”

“Sure.” Pepin was quite peppy now and no longer upset.

Good. That meant that he didn’t have to worry about someone poisoning his food, Kai thought.

“Now, I only need to do one thing before you go.” Pepin came closer and grabbed Kai’s cock. He gave it a friendly tug and then released it.