The next day was Tuesday. It was the morning and I was at my desk in the office. Amelia, Bonnie and Krystal had already arrived and were milling around in reception. I walked in there with a huge smile on my face.
“You look happy,” remarked Amelia.
“Maybe I am,” I grinned. “Bonnie, can I talk to you for a moment?”
The tall, womanly-looking brunette smiled in her usual friendly way. “Sure.”
“Follow me in here.” I gestured towards a side room. Bonnie walked in through the door and I waved at a conference table and told her to grab a chair. She did so, and I sat opposite.
“What is it?” she asked, concerned perhaps that something was wrong.
“Ha, don’t worry, it’s not you — you’re not in trouble,” I replied.
Bonnie relaxed a little. “Oh, good.”
“Bonnie,” I began. “I’ve met a guy.”
Bonnie raised her eyebrows. “What?”
“The other day. Sunday. He’s just moved in next door.”
I looked at her. “It’s better than nice. Oh, wow, Bonnie — we had the most amazing sex last night.”
“WHAT!” cried Bonnie. “Already? That’s fast!”
I felt sheepish. “Yeah, I know — but — oh, Bonnie! I needed it!” Then I blurted out the whole story — how I had met Daniel on Sunday morning, how I’d worn no bra on our first meeting on Sunday night at his place, deliberately to sex him up, then returned last night for a hot workout before ending up in each arms on the floor. I gave her all the deets, not holding anything back.
After I was done, Bonnie leaned back in her chair. “So. Huh. You basically effed the guy within an inch of his life — and he was OK? What happened after that?”
“Well, we hugged in place for what seemed like ages, then got up. I told him — reassured him — that I wasn’t normally like that -”
“Oh, no, not at all -” smirked Bonnie.
“I’m not! I wouldn’t normally be so wild -”
“What about that party back when you were twenty-five, the one you told me about -”
“That was ages ago! I was young then!”
“You still are, honey. You’re only thirty-two.”
“Yeah, well — but Bonnie! I was so hungry!”
“All that meat and no potatoes, from the sound of his body,” grinned Bonnie.
“Will you stop? But seriously — I’ve never been so ravenous for a man, it’s not like me — I’m not into rough sex and that — but” I struggled to put it into words. “I just needed him so badly, I could just feel this incredible hole inside me that needed to be filled -”
“Tell me more about this incredible hole.”
“WILL YOU SHUT UP?”
“Hahaha! Sorry — I’m just kidding with you.”
A break in the conversation. I put my head in my hands. I looked up at Bonnie, suddenly feeling emotional. I could feel the sting in my eyes that told me I might cry. “Bonnie, I’ve done myself in.”
Bonnie looked concerned again. “How?”
“I don’t know. I’ve just — neglected myself.” I thought. “I mean — I didn’t intend to. I’ve got my job, this business, a nice house, some great women friends…” I gesticulated towards her. “I thought I was doing great. I’ve got enough money. I’m happy — or, at least, I thought I was.”
I suddenly felt adamant. “It’s just, away from the office, my life’s so boring. Every weekend I watch you girls go out and do your fun stuff and I just go home and faff around, pottering about, wasting time the whole two days of the weekend. There’s been absolutely nothing going on. For five years. Now — last night — Daniel just made me feel — like a woman again. You know?”
“Hmmm.” Bonnie frowned. There was a long pause. At last, she spoke. “You know what? It’s this job.”
I felt a frisson of annoyance. “What?”
“It’s this job. Too many women all in one place, an all-female workplace. All this estrogen, and not enough testosterone to go around.”
I looked at her, exasperated. “Bonnie, be serious! I -”
“I am,” she replied, calmly. “Face it. Put fifty young women all in the same building and stuff is bound to happen.”
“We’re all as horny as a cat on heat. We’re all twenty-something, with all those hormones and no one to spend them on. We’re climbing the walls most of the time.”
“That’s not the fault of the company. I set this thing up to get you girls out of what everyone else has to put up with in this industry. You’ve heard the horror stories — abusive fashion designers yelling at us backstage, model agency owners demanding sex just to work for them, sexual abuse, rape, being treated like a prostitute, creepy guys pawing all over us at New York Fashion Week. There’s a #MeToo reckoning going on as we speak — don’t you get it?”
“I set this firm up to get women like you and the others out of that! I know the work isn’t as big or exciting but -”
“I know, Cathy.”
“I’m sorry the women don’t get much action, but if those creeps could just get a life and treat women right — and fairly -” I was starting to rant now, the feminist in me rising to the surface.
“OK, OK,” said Bonnie, waving her hand. ” I get it. That’s not what I’m getting at. What I mean is — now you’ve met Daniel, you’ve realized that there are half-decent guys out there and this ‘hunger’ is just your body’s way of letting you know you’re missing something, like there’s more to life out there.”
I felt heard. “Yeah,” I said, abruptly. Then I thought. “Why don’t any of the girls have boyfriends? You know, anyone serious?”
“The same reason. Too many creepy guys -”
“Well, then — why have I just met Daniel?”
“He just moved in next door -”
“No, I mean — if I can just drop in to the house next door and meet a guy, why can’t we all do that? Why hasn’t it happened yet?”
“Well, we live in rented accommodation — most of us are housemates of each other -”
“Yeah, but isn’t there a guy living next door? If I can find one and I’m older than all of you…”
“We’re busy with work. You know how it is — sometimes you give us morning shoots, afternoons, evenings — we’re all on call.”
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Have I screwed up? I mean — do you think I’m demanding too much of the girls? It’s just that the money is smaller, so I want to max out your hours so you don’t leave me.”
“LEAVE YOU?” Bonnie cried. “Cathy, you’re starting to annoy me. What makes you think any of us are gonna leave you?”
“But there’s bigger, better-paid work elsewhere. You should work on your career. You could be on catwalks in New York, Milan -”
“Cathy, stop it. What about what you just said — the assault, the abuse, not getting raped? Don’t you think that’s important? Why do you think we’re always with you? We’re not leaving!”
“But what? We’re happy here!”
“Don’t you want a life, though? I mean -”
“Listen, hun. OK, so you met this great guy at the weekend who’s hot stuff and he lives right next door and the sex is great and you work out together and you’ve been together for all of forty-eight hours and he’s just made you realize that not every guy out there is the same kind of creep most of us have to put up with, and that’s because we’re still doing what you used to do but you’re not doing it any more because now you’re our boss. Fantastic. Enjoy his big cock while it’s available and pound the guy all night if you want. Welcome to normal life, where grown women date and flirt and make out and have sex with guys who act normal. Awesome. Go to restaurants, visit the theater — you know? It’s called LIFE. Normal stuff. I’m happy for you; but you don’t even know what this thing is — what do you want? Love? Sex? A relationship? A steady boyfriend? A ring on your finger? Marriage with 2.4 kids? For goodness’ sake, hun, it’s been all of two days. Get a grip! The fact is, he doesn’t even know what hit him. Some woman he’s never met before who lives next door and has nothing to do with his life just shows up on his doorstep, pounds him like a piece of meat and screws his brains out just because he’s got a big dick and a six-pack and he’s only twenty? He probably thinks he’s hit the jackpot! Take advantage of that while you can while he’s still dazed and confused and use the sex to decide what you want and where he fits in with your life. But don’t worry about us! We’re happy working here and we appreciate all you do for us, but we don’t need you to feel sorry for us because we haven’t got a hunky guy next door to pound our pussies whenever we want. OK?”
Bonnie stood up and put her hand on the door handle. Turning back to me, she smiled. “Don’t sweat it, honey. We all love you, and we’re not going anywhere. Don’t worry about us — we’ll manage. Now I’ve got to get back to the girls.” With that, she went out.
That evening, I went home, deep in thought. Bonnie was a great friend. She was right — more right than I wanted to admit.
As I got changed into my gym clothes to meet Daniel for tonight’s workout, I stopped. Well, huh. ‘Use the sex to decide what you want’, Bonnie had said. ‘He’s still dazed and confused’, she had said. I smirked. Yeah, maybe. Was this the right way to go about things? The one thing I didn’t want was to lose him. I guess the sex would stop that.
I showed up on his doorstep and, after he let me in, we got on with the workout. He kept grinning and smiling, and was super into me and was very attentive. He seemed excited and enthusiastically showed me how to do other exercises that he knew. He occasionally put his hand on my waist to steady me as I was working out, and did very little working out of his own; and as the session wore on, I felt a trifle irritated. “Listen. Daniel,” I began.
“Yes?” he smiled. Again.
I turned to him. “You’re a great guy, and I really appreciate you letting me come over here to use your equipment. Really, it’s great. But I haven’t seen you do much of your own workout. I can manage this by myself.”
“Er, yeah, sure,” he said, looking slightly worried. “I’ll get on.” He went away to the barbell area, looking a little crestfallen.
I continued my workout. Hmmm. Was I too harsh? I decided to let him sweat over it for a bit.
We pushed and shoved away in silence for a few minutes on opposite sides of the gym area. I turned to look at him. He was doing barbell curls and occasional military presses overhead, and his back was turned to me, so I couldn’t see his biceps.
I watched, fascinated, as the muscles in his back moved and worked, his tanned physique slick, the sheen of sweat shining in the electric light. Man, was this guy a specimen of manhood. I could watch this all day. I felt a familiar rising desire within me as I gazed upon him.
Yeah, perhaps I was a little harsh. With a smile, I stood up and walked over to him. I put my arms around him. “Daniel,” I said.
Surprised, he turned his head to look at me.
“Listen. What happened last night — it was great. Like I said, I don’t usually behave like that. You understand, right?”
He put down his barbell, turned and held me by the waist. “Sure, Cathy.” He looked into my eyes, earnest yet inquiring. His handsome face — my goodness, I could kiss it off. I looked into his eyes and he seemed so young, almost innocent, although he couldn’t be, since he at least knew a few things, judging by the way we had finished up last night. Yet he had that boyish way about him. I guess it went with the territory.
“I mean, what we’ve got here — it’s a lot of fun. I want it to stay fun.”
Daniel was in agreement. “Yeah, sure.”
“But, like — it’s only fun, yeah? I mean, I don’t want anything serious right now. I could use a friend, and I figured we could have fun together, since all your friends in class are in dorms far away.”
Daniel smiled broadly. “It sure beats watching TV.”
“Yeah, same here. Let’s keep it this way, yeah? Fun.”
“Sure.” He hugged me tight in his arms. Letting go presently, he looked down at my face. “So. When does the fun start?”
“How about now?” I said. I leaned forward and kissed him.