Ethan and Jack took June and Liam out to dinner to celebrate June’s birthday at Red Rock Bar and Grill, and also June’s offer letter with an accounting firm in New York City. She and Liam were moving next week to an apartment in New Rochelle so she could start in two weeks, but their wedding was set for August here in Rockville.
“I’m actually going to miss this stupid bar,” June said. “Although I barely got to drink in it. I feel like all the exciting things happen here.”
Jack, who was still struggling to let his little sister go, said hopefully, “Well you can always stay here and keep working for H&R Block.”
June rolled her eyes at him. “H&R Block is not paying for my Masters degree and CPA, this accounting firm is.” But then reached over and touched his hand, and said lovingly, “It will be just like when I was in college. We’ll see each other all the time. Either you will come down or we’ll come up. I’m still your Junie, Jack.”
“I know,” he said not so confidently. “I just want you to be ok, you know?”
“She will be,” Liam said. “I’ll make sure of it. She’ll be a Ferguson soon, and that will be my responsibility to take care of her.”
Jack was surprised.”I thought you were going to hyphenate.”
June laughed. “Are you kidding? June Elizabeth Redmond-Frazier-Ferguson?”
“Ok, that does sound a little crazy,” Jack said and they laughed.
“No, I just want to be June Ferguson,” she said “Shed all these names and start fresh with something new.” She smiled at Liam and he leaned over to kiss her lips.
Toward the end of their dinner Ethan noticed before Jack did that Connor’s family was coming in for dinner. “I hate that sonofabitch,” he said, glaring at Connor’s father. “I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone as much as I hate him.”
Jack, who was also looking at their table, said, “Owen McIntyre is an old man set in his racist and homophobic ways, but he doesn’t go after people. Matty is worse. He’s a prejudice instigator and antagonizer. Rockville’s very own Richard Spencer. He sets little fires and watches them burn, and doesn’t care who he hurts. Someone should put that dog down.”
When he turned back Ethan, Liam and June all looked at him intently. “I said someone, I didn’t say me. Stop it,” he said exasperated. They all started laughing.
About 15 minutes later Ethan nudged Jack. “You’re bestie is looking a little white girl wasted, don’t you think?”
Jack turned to watch Connor walk in with a drunken gait and slouch in the nearest chair at the table with his family. Liam shook his head. “I haven’t seen him since your birthday in April. His family still doesn’t know?”
“Nope,” Jack said. “And after their last family dinner in February I’m surprised Connor even came to this one. He took Ethan’s words to heart and hasn’t been back to the house or seen any of them since then as far as I know, and it’s been four months. So if he’s fucked up right now, I don’t blame him.”
“It’s about time he walked away from them,” Liam said. “He-”
“Hey guys!” Connor yelled over to their table, just noticing them. He motioned for them to come over and Ethan shook his head no.
“No fucking way I’m going over there,” Ethan said. “But you should, Jack. He needs you.”
Connor gave them a please sign with his hands and Jack laughed. Liam said, “I’ll go with you.” They walked over together.
“Hey Liam! Heeeeeeeeeey Jack!” Connor said happily. Liam laughed.
“Hey bud,” Jack said lovingly. “You think you had enough to drink today?”
“Maaaaaaaaybe!” Connor laughed making them both laugh.
Jack said, “Wow, ok.”
Connor’s father growled at them, “Have you forgotten how to address an elder when you come to a table?”
Liam spoke first. “Sorry sir. Good evening, and happy birthday Angie. Hello McIntyre family.”
Jack said his hello’s, then said to Angie, “That’s right. Your birthday is right behind June’s. We’re celebrating June’s birthday too, just finishing up. We’re headed back-”
“No staaaaaaay, with meeeee!” Connor whined. He grabbed Jack’s arm.
Just then Afia came rushing in. “Sorry everyone for being late,” she said. Afia had agreed to come at Angie’s request, not as Connor’s date. She greeted Angie first and handed her a card, and she sat next to Connor saying very cordially and distantly, “Hello, everyone.”
“There’s my girl!!” Connor squealed. She slowly turned to him and her eyes narrowed. She knew what Jack and Liam knew, that he was drunk as a skunk.
Jack figured that since Afia was there Connor would be ok and she’d take care of him as she’s always done even though she was married now. “We’re going to head back. Have a good evening, everyone,” Jack said. He and Liam went back to the table.
Ethan watched the whole exchange shaking his head and said to them, “I’m calling, Mel. This is not going to end well.”
He stood up and said, “You two,” pointing at Jack and Liam, “Keep an eye on your friend and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. Get him home safe. I don’t even want to know how he got here. June, let me take you home.”
“No problem,” said June. “I’ve seen Connor drunk and it’s not pretty at all.”
Ethan kissed Jack on the lips and June did the same to Liam, then they headed out. Jack shifted his chair around so they can both keep one eye on Connor. And sure enough, within five minutes they heard Connor yell, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Not sure who it was meant for, Jack and Liam looked at each other and got up at the same time to head to the table.
“Connor, leave this table now,” his father ordered him, standing up.
Connor stood up and swayed a bit saying angrily, “What, you’re going to break my fucking ribs again if I don’t?” Jack and Liam exchanged glances at each other again.
“Oh God Connor, not right now,” Mary Kate said, embarrassed.
“Then when MK? WHEN?” he yelled at his sister.
Jack touched Connor’s arm and he jerked it away from him. Jack turned him around and grabbed both his shoulders roughly but said calmly, “Let me take you home, Connor.”
“Oh no, don’t do that, you might end up with a finger in your butt,” Matty joked.
Jack glared at him but Liam answered nastily, “Matty, fuck off! Fuck all the way off with your bitch ass.”
“The only bitches I see are the three of you,” he said. “Three fucking butt buddies.”
Connor’s mother stood up and yelled, “Ok enough! Matthew, shut up. Jack, please take Connor home, he’s hurting right now.” Then she looked around as her own voice carried. “Oh God, we are such an embarrassment.” She slid back down in her chair.
Angie came around the table to Connor and hugged him. “Are you ok, Connor? I’m sorry I asked you to come. I know how you’re feeling right now. You don’t have to be here anymore, you can go.”
Connor said dreamily, “You’re so beautiful, Angie. You’re the prettiest thing in the world right now.”
Liam started laughing. “Fucking A, we gotta get him out of here,” he said to Jack. Jack nodded and started pulling Connor away from the table as they heard his siblings talking.
“All this because Afia got married?” Mary Kate whispered to Matty.
Matty nodded. “As if that black bitch is even worth it,” he said.
Connor moved at lighting speed. He yanked out of Jack’s hand on his arm, reached over the table to grab his brother by his shirt and started punching his head.
“Holy shit!” Liam exclaimed as they both tried to pry Connor off Matty.
But Connor was much stronger than he appeared to be and would not let go of Matty’s collar, choking him as he continued to punch him in the face and head, literally growling. It took Jack, Liam, and Sam who had been watching from the bar and quickly ran over, to pry Connor off him as his mother and sisters screamed.
They pulled Connor to a nearby table and made him sit down. Matty sat there with red splotches all over his face and a swollen right eye, yelling and cursing, but smart enough to stay on the other side of the table.
Jack leaned over and looked him in the eyes. “Connor, what the fuck? I’m taking you home, now.” Connor just shrugged and looked away.
Afia and Angie came over. “Happy birthday to me?” Angie said sarcastically.
“C’mon, you and I both know he deserved to get punched in the fucking mouth,” Connor said, flexing his hand. She laughed and they all kind of chuckled, no one disagreeing with Connor.
Afia ran her hands through Connor’s hair. “Still protecting me?” she said softly.
“Always,” Connor said seriously, looking up at her.
Connor’s parents came walking over and he stood up. His father said to him, “Get your shit together, Connor. You’re falling apart over a woman as if her lady parts were made of gold.”
He shrugged. “Except I’m not interested in her lady parts.” And then laughed hysterically in his father’s face saying, “I haven’t been interested in lady parts since the beginning of senior year with Mina.”
Jack’s eyes went wide and Liam busted out laughing saying, “Holy shit!” Jack did not know that Connor was sleeping with him and his own cousin, who is now his sister since her parents adopted him, at the same time.
Connor’s eyes went wide too, realizing he said something he shouldn’t have. “Oh shit. I’m sorry, Jack. We had that fight, remember, and you stopped talking to me and I just wanted to know how it felt again, but I didn’t mean to cheat on you. I’m so so sorry.”
He leaned over to hug him as Liam and Afia laughed, her hands hiding her face embarrassed for him. Jack went a little red but patted his back and said, “It’s ok, Connor. Just…let me take you home.”
Katherine, his mother asked, “Wait, what does that mean? And why are you apologizing to Jack? What are you saying, Connor?”
And in Connor’s drunken state all he could think of was, how could they still not know?
“Ok, let me do this with a little fanfare,” said Connor. “Hey Mom, guess what?” He did a Fred Astaire type dance, spun around and announced very loudly,
“I’M GAY!” Then he started laughing hysterically again.
“HOLY SHIT!” Liam exclaimed for the third time that night and started laughing with him. Jack’s mouth dropped open.
“Oh my God, Connor,” Afia said as she slapped both hands over her mouth again, but then she started laughing with him too. She looked at Jack who started laughing and it set off a chain reaction of Sam and even Angie laughing, who Jack now suspects knew about Connor’s sexuality too.
The other members of his family remain shocked as Connor’s father was stone faced and turning red and his mother was frantically yelling, “Stop it! Stop it Connor, you stop this right now!”
Mary Kate, who was standing between Connor and Matty, told him what Connor said. Matty started yelling, “I knew it! I knew he was fucking fag! Pussy ass bitch!”
Connor continued to laugh until his father came toward him with clenched fists. He stopped laughing immediately and eyes went wide with fear as he stepped back, but BJ came out of nowhere and stood between them shaking his head.
“No way, Staff Sergeant Sir. Not here. Not now. Not ever,” he said sternly to Owen and crossed his arms.
Then in his booming voice he said to Connor’s brother who was still screaming obscenities, “Hey Matty, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
When everyone was a little quieter he said, “Now. What’s going to happen right now is that Staff Sergeant McIntyre and Mrs. McIntyre, I think you should go. We’ll take care of Connor, make sure he gets home.
“Angie, stay, celebrate the rest of your birthday, on us. Afia and Mary Kate, you’re welcomed to stay too.
“Matty, get the fuck out of my bar.”
Connor’s parents glared at him but then his father took his mother’s arm forcefully and led her out the bar. Matty paused, but then BJ pointed to him then at the door to let him know he was serious so Matty angrily followed his parents out.
As soon as they left Connor sat in the nearest seat and began to wring his hands, and Afia came to stand between his legs. Without a word, he reached over and carefully hugged her midsection, and started sobbing loudly. Jack put his hand on one of his shoulders while Liam touched the other as he let out a painful cry. They looked at each other over Connor’s head, both of them having tears of their own in their eyes threatening to come out.
Jack looked over at Afia who had tears rolling down her face, crying silently in contrast to Connor’s loud sobbing. It was as if 12 years of holding onto Connor’s secret took an emotional toll on them all. He reached over and grabbed her free hand as she stroked Connor’s hair, comforting her best friend. The three of them silently agreed to let him cry for as long as he wanted and needed.
Eventually he looked up at Afia and said through his tears, “I did, Lovie. I told them. Aren’t you proud of me?”
Afia continued to stroke his hair and said, “I’m so, so proud of you, Connor. You did great.”
When Connor’s crying subsided and he was able to stand on his own, Jack reached into Connor’s pocket and grabbed his car keys, stunned that he made it from home to the bar without killing anyone with his drunk driving.
After he said goodbye to his sisters, Afia took one hand and Jack took the other, and with Liam behind them they led him out of Red Rock Bar and Grill. Matty was on the phone outside the bar talking angrily to someone and they all just glared at him.
Then Jack heard Connor say his name, “Mel.”
They all followed his gaze as Connor’s partner Jamel crossed the street from where he was standing. He knew Connor was to see his parents again for the first time in months and had been worried about him all day.
Jamel stopped just short of him, keeping his hands in his pockets and spoke. “I was already on my way here from work when Ethan called me,” he said. “Said you were ‘white girl wasted’ and to come get you before you do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”
“Too late?” Connor cringed and laughed, making them all laugh again.
Jack told him, “He sort of…came out to his family.”
Jamel’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit. Okay.” He turned back to Connor. “You ok, baby?” Connor did not respond, instead walked up to Jamel, wrapped his arms around his back and leaned into his neck.
Jamel and Jack exchanged looks of surprise at Connor’s open affection for him but he quickly wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back. Then Connor moved his face up to Jamel’s, reaching up around his neck giving his lover a drunken, sloppy, passionate tongue kiss in front of the bar, making Jack stifle a laugh and smiling widely as Afia nudged him, also smiling widely.
“Well alrighty then,” Liam said and he and Jack stifled laughs again. Connor was officially Out.
Then they heard Matty’s voice screaming at Connor, “You fucking faggot! Is that your fucking boyfriend? A nigger and a faggot?” He started walking toward them.
Afia who was the closest moved toward him to block his path saying, “No Matthew, go ho-”
It happened in slow motion for Jack, in three seconds. In the first, he saw Afia stand in Matty’s path. In the second, he watched Matty shove her hard and Afia fell to the ground. Very few people knew that Afia was pregnant and that push alone enraged him. In the third, he saw Matty hawk-spit and it landed on her. Jack saw red and instantly reacted.
Matty looked down at her and said, “You stupid monkey bitch,” and was immediately met with a fist to the jaw, and then another one right behind it as Jack began plummeting his friend’s older brother in the face, repeatedly.
Matty grabbed Jack’s shirt and started fighting back but Liam gave him an elbow to the face and tripped him. Then he stood back as Jack punched and kicked the shit out of Matty while Connor, Jamel, Afia and other Red Rock patrons watched.
Someone called the police and they came to break up the fight, arresting all three and taking statements from their friends.
* * * * *
Ethan was laying on the couch watching TV with baby Jackie on his bare chest sleeping and waiting for Jack to get home when his phone rang and it was Jamel. “Hey, what’s up? Connor’s ok?” he asked.
“Sooooo, you should meet me at the police station on Roosevelt Avenue. Do you know where it is?”
Ethan sat up a little straighter with one hand on his three-month-old daughter’s back. “What the fuck happened?”
Jamel explained about Connor’s coming out which ended in Jack beating Matty up with Liam’s help and getting arrested for disorderly conduct. Ethan listened, shaking his head the whole time. “I’ll meet you there in 20 minutes,” Ethan said, then called Jack’s mother.
“Ma Marie, I’m so sorry to bother you at this late hour, but do you mind coming back over and keeping an eye on the kids again? They’re both asleep, but I have to go and bail your son out of jail.”
Marie sighed. “Oh Ethan, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that…. I’ll be right there.”
Ethan and Jamel went to the police station and were ushered down to see Liam and Jack laying on the benches behind bars. They both stood up and came toward the gate as the officer opened it. Liam walked out first but Ethan stood in Jack’s way and leaned against the gated doorway with his arms folded across his chest. They stared at each other then Jack rolled his eyes and walked back to the cell wall with his hands in his jeans pockets, and leaned against the wall.
Ethan started, “All you had to do was take Connor home and keep him out of trouble. What the fuck, Jack?” Liam and Jamel looked at each other, then quietly left the room.
“What do you want me to say?” Jack said. “He spit on Afia, called her a monkey bitch. And that was after he called Jamel the N word and Connor a fag. If I had my gun on me I would have shot him in the fucking neck,” he said seriously.
“You cannot go around beating the shit out of people, even if they really deserve it,” Ethan said sternly. “Why the fuck do I have to tell you this at 27-years-old?”
“Fuck off Ethan, you almost beat the shit out of Connor’s father that day in his house and you know it,” Jack said hotly.
Ethan sighed. “Yea, you’re right. But instead I took my son and I left. Because as much as he deserved me putting my foot in his ass for the shit he was saying, EJ was right there and I couldn’t let one asshole take me out of my character.”
“Well maybe this my character,” Jack said. “Maybe I’m my father’s son. Maybe I am Red Jackie and always will be.”
Ethan was quiet for a moment, then said, “You’re a father now, Jack. You have to set an example for your son and now your daughter. If that’s not enough reason to not be Red Jackie, then I don’t know what is.”
Jack softened and sighed. Ethan moved closer to him and put both hands on his neck, rubbing his cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m just asking you to think for a quick second before you react violently. I’m just asking you to find the non-violent way most of the time, not even all of the time, but just most of the time. Can you do that for me? For EJ? For Jackie?”
“I hear you Ethan. I do,” Jack said. He leaned into Ethan’s shoulder and Ethan held him. “It felt good though. It felt good to punch a prejudiced asshole. Repeatedly. You should try it.”
Ethan laughed and kissed him on the lips. “Let’s go home so I can put some ice on that obvious shiner you’re gonna have for a week.”
* * * * *
A couple of days later Ethan was feeding Jackie with a bottle while he and Jack, and EJ were watching a TV show right before dinner. Jack’s phone rang and it was his father.
“Jack,” Henry said. “You’ll never believe who is sitting in front of me. Christopher Jennings.”
Jack sat up straight on the couch, his heart pounding out of his chest. Ethan thought something was wrong and asked him, “What happened?”
Jack said in the phone, “Chris Jennings? Sam and BJ’s cousin Chris? From Albania?”
“The very same one. He wants to talk to you.” And before Jack could say another word, Henry passed along the phone.
“Jack,” Chris called his name in his European accent.
“Chris,” Jack breathed out his name. He sounded the same with his voice a touch deeper. Ethan’s eyebrow went up.
“Wow you sound like a grown up,” Chris said and laughed.
“Yeah you do too, I guess,” Jack said because he had no other words. Then he asked, “What are you doing here?”
‘My husband and I went to a Coldplay concert in Boston and because it was so close, we decided to take the drive down and see my family. I was at your apple tree when your uncle found me.”
“My dad,” Jack corrected him. “He’s my dad now…we did an adult adoption thing about two years ago.”
“Wow. So Etta and Mina are not your cousins anymore but your sisters? That’s fantastic. Congratulations.”
“Yup. Thanks.”
Chris paused. “I would have thought you’d be long gone from this small town by now. But I hear you had a good reason to stay.”
Jack glanced at Ethan who had a look of pure confusion on his face. He smiled and said, “Yea. I had a great reason.”
“So you’re married with a child?” Chris asked.
“Two now. Almost. We’re adopting our daughter in a few weeks in court, officially. And I’m adopting Ethan’s son at the same time, also officially,” Jack told him. Then said, “You said husband? You’re married too?”
“Yea, just two years now from last February,” Chris told him.
Wow!” Jack said. “That’s amazing.” His voice was higher than he intended. They were quiet for a moment, then Jack said, “So how long are you in town for?”
Well I’m staying at BJ’s house tonight and we were going to head back up to my Aunt Lacey’s house tomorrow. Our flight leaves on Friday, in three days. But I would love to see you, if…if that’s ok?”
“Yeah, that’s ok. That’s…” He looked at Ethan again who was still staring at him confused. “Come to dinner tomorrow night. Here. In fact, stay here at the B&B. I’ll have a room for you and your husband.” Ethan mouthed to him, What the fuck, but Jack turned his head again.
“Wow, that’s really amazing of you. Yes, we’ll do that. I have to introduce Ciaran to some family members tomorrow but we should be back around the dinner hour.”
Jack told him, “6 o’clock. My dad will give you the address.”
“Thanks. I’m looking forward to it, and to meeting your husband,” Chris said.
“Yea. Me too,” Jack said. He held the phone for a bit longer after Chris hung up, thinking of the past. Then he let the phone drop in his lap.
“Papa, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” said EJ.
“It might as well have been,” he said to him distractedly.
Ethan poked his arm. “Who are we having over for dinner tomorrow night? Chris…?”
“Jennings.” Jack finished for him.
His eyebrow went up again. “Sam and BJ’s cousin from Europe? You first love Chris Jennings?”
Jack opened his mouth, then closed it. Ethan laughed out loud. “Holy shit, you should see your face. Like a deer in headlights.”
Jack quickly turned away. Then he stood up and said, “I need a moment.” He started walking toward the bedroom.
Ethan called after him, “Take all the moments you need. Jack. I’ll still be here.”
Jack laid on the bed on his stomach and heart was racing. His mind wandered back to the day when he met Chris Jennings. He was sitting in his favorite spot on the first day of summer right before sophomore year of high school, on the top branch of a low hanging apple tree right along the Jenning’s property line. His tree.
While his two cousins got jobs as camp counselors and his younger sister June was in camp herself, Jack had refused both, opting to spend his summer right there. Then he heard a voice in a strange accent call out that changed everything, saying, “Why are you in a tree?”
He looked down and saw the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. Light brown skinned, thick curly brown hair and perfect white teeth. He had on a tank top that showed off his skinny chest with round nipples poking out, muscled arms and hairy legs. Before that moment, Jack had a suspicion that he might be gay. He tried to get into girls because other boys his age were, but he just didn’t have any desire toward them.
But he had never really been interested in any of the guys in town either so that made him question what he was. Yet he knew at night he would dream about Tom Cruise and Will Smith before he would Julia Roberts. And here was a real life Will Smith looking at him with squinting eyes in the sun that was taking his breath away. Yup, Jack knew in that moment, he was definitely gay.
Chris Jennings turned out to be bisexual and unapologetic about it. He flirted openly with girls, which wasn’t hard because they flocked to him like a magnet and flocked to Jack too since they spent every single day together that summer. But he also covertly flirted with boys, which was fun to watch them try to figure out if the things he was saying or the way he would touch their arms and shoulders actually meant something or if he was just kidding around. He pointed out three different boys to Jack that he was sure were gay, just by the way they responded to his touch or the subtle way they looked at him, and Connor was one of them.
They did everything together every day for two solid months. Chris ran track and they would run a 5k every morning together, something Jack still did to this day. Jack taught him the Galway accent and they planned to go to Ireland together one day. He taught Jack not to be afraid of anything or anyone, that no one but God could judge him for who he is and his choices in life and to never back down from doing what is right, always.
Chris was his first kiss, his first love and his first sexual experience. Chris was also his first real friend and confidant. Then Chris left him abruptly and he never got the chance to say goodbye. And now that Chris is here, he had no idea how he was going to react to seeing him again.
Jack felt bad for not being able to shake this heart pounding feeling. He knew it was completely separate from his feelings for his husband, who he loved before he even realized he was falling in love with him. Chris was a puppy love crush, blended in the seeds of his past. Ethan is his present and his future, his whole heart, his real, adult love.
Jack still felt a newness when he looked at Ethan, like he could not believe that a man as intelligent, selfless, charismatic and loving as he is, could be in love with someone like Jack. He knows he is not easy to be with. He has a temper and he goes from playful to moody in an instant, that’s the Taurus in him. But Ethan accepts it all and loves him anyway.
Later on Ethan joined him in the bedroom after putting EJ to sleep and placed Jackie in her crib gently on the other side of their bedroom to not wake her and a bottle in the bottle warmer on the dresser. Jack was laying face down on the bed and turned to his side as Ethan came in. Ethan took off his clothes, changed to a pair of pajama bottoms and also laid on his side.
“I’m sorry,” Jack said. “I’m acting… stupid. It’s just… there was so much I wanted to say to him before he left. And after 12 years he just walks back into my life? It’s…crazy.”
Ethan nodded, reached over and pulled Jack’s shirt over his head. He touched Jack’s bare chest, softly rubbing his nipples as Jack continued talking.
“I don’t have feelings for him or anything. That’s impossible.” Ethan raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he continued to touch Jack’s abs. “But this is my chance to tell him how he changed my life. And I can’t pass it up. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first.”
Ethan nodded again, leaned over and sucked his nipples. Jack moaned, “You aren’t going to say anything?”
Ethan did not respond, instead moved up to Jack’s neck and sucked on it. Jack succumbed to Ethan’s kisses and fell to his back as Ethan moved on top of him. They found their familiar dance, tongues in each other’s mouths, grinding their erections together. Then Ethan touched, kissed and licked Jack’s chest area all the way down to his groin area and pulled off his house pants and underwear. He started giving Jack’s penis soft licks around then turned Jack on his side and moved up his leg slightly to tongue kiss Jack’s hole.
He stayed there for a while, soft licks around the rim, dipping the tip of his tongue inside of Jack, then back around the outside again. Jack moaned softly, knowing one loud noise will wake up their daughter. But Ethan was not making it easy, as alternated between licking and fingering Jack.
After a bit Jack told him, “I’m going to cum babe..I’m going to cum…fuck….” Ethan sat up and moved Jack onto his back again. He fingered Jack’s spot and stroked him as Jack took a pillow and put it over his head to moan loudly as he came all over his chest.
When his orgasm subsided Jack said with the pillow over his head, “Ethan, talk to me. Please.”
Ethan silently took his pants and underwear off, then said softly, “No.”
He grabbed the lube and stroked Jack first, then added some on his own cock. He moved between Jack’s legs, took the pillow off his face and entered him gently. Jack lifted his legs and dug his heels into the small of Ethan’s back. He held onto Ethan’s forearms as Ethan gave him deep strokes at first, then quick pumps, then moved back to deep strokes.
Jack closed his eyes as Ethan passionately made love to him for a while. He moaned in his ear, calling Ethan’s name softly. Ethan reached one hand down and held onto Jack’s round ass cheeks, pulling him closer, burying himself deeper with each thrust. Jack let out a loud moan as his insides continued to take a beating and came again. Ethan came right behind him, filling up his insides with his Irish cream. He leaned over and kissed Jack’s face a few times, then found his lips and kissed him on his closed mouth.
Ethan pulled out of Jack slowly and leaned on Jack’s chest listening to his quickened heartbeat slow down. No matter who was inside of who, they always end up in this position, with one on the other’s chest. Jack loved making love with Ethan, who always satisfied him in bed. His touch has always made him feel electrified throughout his body and tonight was no different. But he felt Ethan’s intensity, the need to claim back what was rightfully his through their lovemaking, to remind Jack who has his heart now.
They were so quiet they thought the other went to sleep. Then Jack said quietly, “I know you don’t need to hear it but I’m going to say it anyway. You have nothing to worry about.”
Ethan was quiet for a moment, then said, “Just come back to me, Jackie bear.”
Jack stayed quiet and rubbed Ethan’s back until he fell asleep.
* * * * *
Jack, Ethan and EJ came upstairs in the vestibule to meet Chris and his husband Ciaran. They walked in hand in hand and Ethan heard Jack do a small gasp but did not look at him. Chris was tall, taller than Ethan, with tawny colored skin, a handsome face and neat brown long locks in a ponytail down his back. Seeing Chris again made Jack’s heart skip a beat. He felt like he was caught between his younger boyhood self that was first discovering his sexuality and the devoted husband he was at that moment. His cock responded involuntarily.
“Wow. Jack Redmond with the emerald eyes,” Chris said, with a deep, eastern European accent. Ethan did not like the way Jack’s full name rolled off his lips at all but said nothing.
“Hey…Chris,” Jack said. Chris let Ciaran’s hand go and walked right up to Jack to give him a tight hug and Jack hugged him back. They held each other long, and Ciaran and Ethan exchanged eyebrow raises, then Ciaran chuckled.
“You’re tall,” Chris said to Jack then laughed.
Jack laughed as well. “Yeah I kind of grew a few inches after 15.”
Chris said, “It’s really good to see you.” And hugged him again. Then he looked directly at Ethan. “You must be the husband. I’m Chris.” He let go of Jack to give Ethan a handshake, which Ethan obliged.
“I’m Ethan. This is our son, EJ.” EJ looked at him and then moved toward Jack and held his hand. Jack looked at him and smiled.
“It’s ok, EJ. This is Papa’s old friend, Chris.” EJ said hello in barely a whisper.
Chris motioned for Ciaran to come closer. “And this is Ciaran, my better half.”
Ciaran looked at Chris first and smiled, then shook Jack’s hand, then Ethan’s. “It’s nice to meet you both.” He said in a strong British accent. “Thank you for inviting us to stay at your bed and breakfast for the night.”
Ciaran was the same height as Chris but definitely stockier, broad chested. He was also the complete opposite of his husband. Where Chris was brown skinned and brown eyed, Ciaran was pale skinned with freckles, long fiery red hair pulled back into a ponytail and bright blue eyes. Together they were a striking pair. Like Lenny Kravits and a red haired Brad Pitt in a weird gay relationship, Ethan thought.
Ciaran handed Chris two bags. Chris passed one to Ethan and said, “A gift for your son and your daughter.” In the bag there were handmade colorful wooden block sets and a caterpillar teething toy and rattle.
“How thoughtful, thank you,” Ethan said.
Then he passed the other bag to Jack with a wide smile. Jack pulled the Jack Daniels’s whiskey out of his bag. “Ha!” he exclaimed and Chris laughed.
“Yes! Right back where we left off. Well obviously not right back,” he said and they laughed together.
Ethan and Ciaran waited for the joke. Then Jack said, “On Chris’s last night in Rockville, he got someone to buy it for us and we got shitfaced in the barn. First time I ever got drunk.”
“First time you’ve ever had alcohol period, not even a beer. Gave you hair on your chest and your balls in one night,” Chris said amusingly hitting Jack in the chest.
Jack laughed heartily. “God, that was a fun night.”
They looked at each other smiling and reminiscing. Ethan was trying really hard to be jealous of this gay, sexy Lenny Kravits looking motherfucker that his husband was obviously attracted to.
Ciaran coughed loudly breaking their eye contact. “So what’s for dinner?” he asked Ethan.
Ethan smiled at him. He already liked Ciaran’s smooth demeanor. “Come on down.” He led the way to the basement apartment and they followed him.
Ethan set plates and Jack opened up the whiskey, immediately filling a glass and drinking it, then filling another one. Ethan watched him and was determined to keep his thoughts to himself. They were in for a long night.
They sat down for dinner with EJ between them and Jackie sleeping in the bassinet in the living room. They started with small talk about the concert they attended and Jack’s siblings Henrietta, June and Mina, as Ethan watched Jack and Chris make furtive glances at each other and smile.
“So there’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask you Jack,” Chris said between bites.
“What’s that?”
“What happened to your eye? I mean, If you’re in an abusive relationship you know you can talk to me.” He winked at Ethan.
Jack laughed. “No I just got into a fight with a racist homophobe.”
“Hmm…” Chris said. “Was it Connor?”
Ethan laughed out loud and Jack’s eyes went wide. “Wow, you remember Connor from way back when?” Jack asked.
“Well he was pretty much an….a-hole to me, and it wasn’t because of my accent,” Chris said, looking at EJ and carefully choosing his words. “It’s not something you forget.”
“I think the Connor you remember is very different from the Connor today,” said Ethan.
“I sure hope so,” Chris said. “He was pretty awful as a young lad.”
What happened?” Ethan asked.
Jack answered, “They never really gelled well together. Connor would make these ridiculous jokes about Chris’s hair, physical appearance and accent and called him Frenchie a lot. Then there was this one incident when Chris and I met up with Sam, Liam and Connor at the park and Chris asked about us playing football, meaning soccer-”
Chris cut him off, “No, I meant football, you Americans are all in the wrong here,” he said amusingly.
Jack laughed loudly. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right about that.” Ethan narrowed his eyes at him and Jack coughed, then took another sip of his whiskey.
He continued, “So anyway, Chris wanted to start a game and he and Connor got into it, because Connor called it a sissy game. So Chris asked him what game did he play and he said baseball, and Chris asked him if he was a pitcher or a catcher, or both, and Connor said he was a catcher so Chris said…”
Jack started laughing uncontrollably so Chris finished. “I told him obviously he’s a catcher because with a bum like that it was made for catching.”
Ethan busted out laughing and so did Ciaran. EJ said, “I don’t get it.”
Ethan said between laughter, “Mind your business and eat your peas, kid.” EJ sulked at the table. Ethan said to Chris, “So you knew he was gay?”
“I have no idea how they didn’t know. It was as obvious as the grass was green around us,” Chris said. “Especially how upset he got. He tried to fight me because, how dare I insinuate such a thing? Then he called me an uppity negro that needed to be put down a few notches.”
Ethan’s eyes grew wide. “Whaaaat? Well…I’m not completely surprised at his behavior, given who his father is.”
“Well I’m glad I never met the man,” Chris said. “If he’s anything like my Uncle Ben then I’ve had my full of racists and homophobes for a lifetime. I believe they are friends, his father and my uncle.”
Jack said to Ethan, “BJ and Sam’s dad is a bigot too, just not as overtly bad as Connor’s dad. He’ll never say anything to your face.”
“No he’ll just belittle his brother’s African wife, like he did to my mum, driving her away from here and back to Albania to her family, and also forbade his children to attend a gay wedding or they would be cut off from their inheritance, which is why my cousins didn’t attend mine,” he said bitterly.
Ciaran reached over and touched his shoulder. He and Ciaran looked at each other, having a silent conversation, then he turned back to the table, and said with a smile, “But that’s all water under the bridge now. So, Connor is no longer a nob, good on him.”
“The complete opposite,” Jack said. “He’s out and in a committed relationship with a black man.”
Chris nodded. “Not surprised. It’s usually the ones fighting it the hardest end up the loudest. I kind of assumed the only reason he wanted to start a fight with me is so that he could touch me and feel me up in a way he wouldn’t be able to do openly,” he said smugly.
Ethan snorted and Jack laughed loudly again as Ciaran said sarcastically, “That was real humble of you.”
“It’s the truth. He wanted me, I saw it all in his eyes. And I wasn’t the only one he wanted.” He raised an eyebrow at Jack.
Jack glanced at Ethan then said, “Ok, this conversation just went left.” He took another gulp of his whiskey and poured more in his glass.
“You know it’s true. We talked about it, remember? I’m surprised he didn’t jump on you the moment I left,” Chris said. Jack averted everyone’s eyes and looked down at his glass, taking another sip. Chris’s eyes went wide. “He did, didn’t he?”
“Noooo… we’re not doing this,” Jack said to his glass, starting to regret drinking so much.
Ethan, who had never asked Jack about his relationship with Connor, was now interested. “Why not? I mean, it’s in the past and we all have one, right?” Ethan said amusingly to him.
Ciaran tried to help by saying, “We’re not going to put the poor bloke on the spot, are we?” Jack looked at him grateful.
“No we aren’t going to do that. I don’t want to know any details of their relationship,” Chris said. He paused then said, “Except one thing. How long? How long after I left did he approach you? A day? A week? Not more than two weeks, I’m sure of it.”
Jack was turning red and Ethan had no desire to help him, instead turned to face him as well with everyone else at the table. Jack chuckled and took a sip.
He looked at Chris and said, “I came out to my family and friends two days after you left, the day before the first day of school. He approached me the second day of school wanting to know… what it was like… to have these feelings for a boy. He walked me home and we talked about it. Then… he kissed me on my porch.”
They all laughed, Chris laughed the loudest. “Four days! I knew it. I smelled it on him. He continued to be nasty to me all summer because he was jealous of how close we were. He wanted to be… just as close with you.”
Ethan observed as Jack looked at him intently and Chris held his gaze, then grinned slyly. He resisted the urge to punch his husband in the face.
Chris said, “I’m glad he had you Jack, to navigate this world we’re in. It’s not easy if you don’t have the right support. And you’ve always been good at that. Putting people at ease around you with your calm mannerism. Good at supporting others.”
“Well I had you at first. You helped me. You’re good at… helping to navigate…. things….” Jack trailed off. He tore his eyes away from Chris and looked at Ethan who he noticed was silently watching him. He said to Chris, “Ethan knows… about us.. so…” He glanced back and forth between them turning red again.
Chris chuckled and looked at Ciaran who looked at him with amusement. He said to Jack, “Well Ciaran didn’t know about us so thanks for that.”
Jack went completely red and his eyes went wide, “Holy shit! I’m so sorry…I…I…”
Chris cut him off, “I’m just fucking with you Jack, Ciaran knows everything about me. All my partners, my whoring past and all. There are no secrets between us ever.”
Ciaran laughed loudly. Chris looked at Ciaran again and they smiled at each other. Jack took another gulp of whiskey and looked at Ethan who tried to keep his face neutral as he watched Jack lose all his inhibitions one drink at a time.
“So you still didn’t tell me what happened to your eye,” Chris reminded him.
Jack said, “Oh right. Actually it was Connor’s brother. He’s basically a white supremacist and an agitator and he said some pretty racist and homophobic shit to Connor and his boyfriend. And he spit on my other friend and called her a monkey. So I slugged him. Repeatedly. Liam helped. This was the only thing he got off me and it was accidental.”
“Whoa Papa!” said EJ with astonishment. Ethan looked at Jack annoyed.
Jack said to his son, “But, I should have handled it differently and that’s what we do EJ, we find other ways to handle things without fighting first.” He spoke really for EJ. Jack had no regrets for beating the shit out of Matty and wished he’d done more harm.
Everyone was quiet for a moment, then Ciaran said, “So basically, you punched a Nazi.”
Jack snorted a laugh as Chris laughed loudly. Ethan found himself chuckling as well. EJ said, “I don’t get it.”
Ethan said, “Get this. Time for bed, kid.” He took EJ’s hand and led him away from the table. He said to Jack, “You’re going to be ok?”
Jack looked at him, and said, “I think I’m drunk.” Chris and Ciaran laughed.
Ethan laughed as well. “Yea, I would say that’s a correct assessment.” He glanced at Chris then back at Jack and said, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Then he left with EJ.
Jack wasn’t sure what that meant, so he excused himself from the table and followed Ethan toward the hallway where the bathroom and bedrooms are. He stood against the wall and watched Ethan start EJ’s bubble bath and take off his clothes to get him in. When EJ was settled he came into the hallway with Jack.
Jack said, “I’m acting weird again, I can feel it.” Ethan looked at him but did not say anything, keeping his face unreadable. “I mean… I don’t know why I’m acting weird. I just… I don’t know.” Ethan sighed and looked around the hallway.
“You’re not going to say anything?” Jack asked him.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Ethan said nonchalantly.
“I don’t know, say anything.”
Ethan just looked at him for a long moment, then said, “Why don’t you give your son a bath while I check on your daughter?” He walked away leaving him to stand in the hallway alone.
Later Ethan showed Chris and Ciaran to their room, leaving Jack to tend to EJ’s bedtime. As Ethan turned to leave them, Chris asked, “Do you mind if we hang out a little more? Unless you’re ready for bed, being daddies and all.”
Ethan was not sure if that was a dig or not, but said, “Sure, just come right on down after you get settled.” When he returned, EJ was in bed and Jack was sitting on the couch nursing another drink. Ethan looked at him and scoffed.
“What?” Jack asked.
“Nothing,” Ethan said. “Jackie is asleep?”
“Yes, she was moving around for a bit, but she’s in our room now in the crib.”
Ethan nodded. “They want to hang out a bit more so they’ll be down soon.” Jack nodded, then smiled to himself. Ethan rolled his eyes and went to their room.
Jack followed him. “So what do you think of him?”
Ethan began changing his clothes to sweatpants and a t-shirt. “I think he’s an interesting guy.”
“Yea, he is.” He looked far away for a moment smiling again.
Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “You might want to tone down the admiration just a bit. He’s a married man.”
Jack laughed. “I’m a married man.”
“Yea? Couldn’t tell.”
Jack stopped smiling. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said incredulously. Jack thought he was working hard to not allow Chris’s flirtation get to him and it annoyed him that Ethan couldn’t see that.
“You’re right. I’m joking,” Ethan said dryly.
He finished getting dressed and started to leave the room when he heard Jack say, “At least he’s not trying to kiss me.”
Ethan pushed air out of his nose in frustration, turned around and folded his arms across his chest in the doorway. “Ok. Start talking.”
“What?” Jack asked innocently.
“Is that what this night is about? Payback for Carlos?”
“I would never be that petty,” Jack said with a smile. “But if I was and he tries to kiss me, you should just let it happen.” He winked at Ethan.
“Fuck you, Jack,” said Ethan annoyed and Jack laughed.
“I’ll tone down my admiration for him if it’s making you uncomfortable,” he said.
“No, you know what? Change of plans. Do whatever the fuck you want to do, ok?” Ethan said.
Jack glared at him. “Don’t test me, Ethan.”
“It’s not a test. Do what you want. Stare at sexy ass Lenny Kravits all you want. Reminisce about all the fun times you had with him in the barn which is obviously code for fucking. You want to kiss him? You want him to kiss you? Have at it. I owe you one, right? Fuck it, see if they’ll talk you upstairs and make a threesome out of it.” Ethan shrugged.
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t mean that.”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know what else you want me to say here.”
“Say you’re jealous. Say you want me to stop acting like a love sick puppy. Say you’ll break his fucking nose if he tries to touch me. Say you give a fuck. Say anything other than, go have a threesome with him. What the fuck?” Jack said angrily.
They heard a knock on the door. Ethan said calmly, “Do what you want, Jack.”
He left to go open it for their guests. Jack finished his glass in one gulp. Game on, he thought.
Ciaran and Chris also changed into more comfortable clothing. Chris asked, “Do you have a deck of cards? Jack and I used to play Gin Rummy all the time.”
Ethan went to get cards as Chris sat at the table. Jack came out the room and slid into the seat next to Chris. Ethan froze for a moment and gave him an icy glare but Jack did not look in his direction.
“I’m better at it now,” he told Chris.
“I’m sure you are better at a lot of things at your age,” Chris said with a smile. Jack laughed. Ethan felt a flash of anger but said nothing. He sat across from him and Ciaran sat across from Chris.
They started playing as Chris and Jack drank more than Ethan and Ciaran, talked about all the fun things they did that summer, sang Coldplay songs and exchanged Irish phrases. Ethan noted every laugh Jack did, and how he would touch Chris’s arm repeatedly. He also noted that Chris would do the same, touching him, leaning into him, and having moments where they would just stare at each other.
These disrespectful shitheads, he thought.
Ethan tried to catch Ciaran’s eye a few times but he seemed oblivious to the fact that his husband was blatantly flirting with Jack, and continued to play cards and nurse his drink. Ethan, also starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, felt like he was in the Twilight Zone.
Chris said, “I taught Ciaran a few phrases after we visited Ireland last year and now he tells me often that I’m acting the maggot.” They laughed heartily as Ciaran smiled. Then he said to Jack casually, “If I remember correctly, you were planning a trip to Ireland at some point. Did you ever make it out there?”
Ethan gave Jack a glance. Jack said, “Yes, a few years ago. But only briefly.”
Chris nodded. “Did all the sightseeing you wanted to see?”
Jack nodded back. “I did. All of it. It was a good trip.” Ethan knew they were not talking about a simple trip to Ireland and was shocked that Chris knew.
“Good. I know it’s something you always wanted to do,” Chris said.
“Well you helped me plan my trip didn’t you? I would have taken you with me like we planned if you had given me any contact information about you before you left.” Ethan’s eyes grew wide as he looked at Jack but Jack still did not look at him.
Chris held his gaze for a few moments. Then said, “Right. But it looks like you made out alright on your own out there. So no regrets.”
“None,” Jack said definitively.
Chris nodded, then smiled and ran his hands through Jack’s hair, making him smile and blush. Ethan felt another flash of anger over how comfortable he was touching Jack and how Jack was letting him. At the right time, the baby cried through the monitor and Ethan got up to get her, thankful that she was saving him from putting hands on Chris. Or Jack. Or both of them.
“Can we see the little one?” Chris asked excitedly, glancing at Ciaran, then back at Ethan.
“Yea, I’ll bring her out,” Ethan said. “It’s time for her feeding anyway, she’s been asleep for a few hours already.”
He went to pick Jackie up and bring her out as Jack grabbed a milk bottle and put it in the bottle warmer in the kitchen. Chris got up to meet Ethan as he was coming toward the table holding his daughter. He was in awe of her.
“Wow. She’s beautiful. The boys will fancy her, that’s for sure.” Then he gasped as her cap moved a little from her head. “Ciaran, she has red hair!” Ciaran smiled as he looked up. Chris asked, “May I please hold her? You are well within your rights to tell me no, as I’ve invaded your home enough.” He smiled at Ethan.
Ethan wanted to say, fuck no, but instead remembered his manners and said, “Sure. Wash your hands first.”
Once he did, Ethan handed his baby girl to Chris, whose face was pure delight. He started cooing to her and rocking her, then speaking in French to her and she smiled at him. Ethan was now annoyed that both Jackies in his life seemed infatuated by Chris.
Jack came over with a bottle and handed it to Chris and he wordlessly took it and began to feed her. He sat down next to Ciaran with the baby in his arms and smiled at him and Ciaran smiled back.
“What’s her name?” Ciaran asked.
“Jacqueline. We call her Jackie,” Jack said.
Chris smiled. “Wonderful! Last name Redmond or Frazier or…” He looked at Ethan.
“Starling. But we haven’t decided whose last name yet. We go to finalize in court next month. We still have to decide on a middle name too. Elizabeth to honor his mother or Suzanne to honor mine.”
“I’ve always been partial to the name Chrissy,” Chris said and smiled.
Jack laughed, but then said, “Actually, Jackie Chris sounds pretty good. Oooh we could call her JC!” He looked at Ethan and smiled widely.
Ethan wanted to throttle him. “How about we don’t name our daughter after your… friend.”
Jack laughed. “I’m just saying. JC is a good nickname. We have an EJ and then we can have a JC. It’s perfect.”
“Ok, so how about her middle name be Carla?” He gave Jack a look.
“I think Jackie Chris sounds better than Jackie Carla, don’t you agree?” He looked at Ethan amusingly, who did not return his amusing smile.
Chris said, “Well whatever you name her, it will be perfect because she is perfect in every way. Absolutely exquisite.” He looked down at her lovingly.
“Are you planning on having kids?” Jack asked.
“Yes,” Chris said automatically.
“We decided to wait a few years but yes, eventually we will,” Ciaran said.
Chris murmured, “You decided to wait a few years.”
For the first time all night Ciaran looked annoyed at Chris, seemingly because of the airing of their obvious continued disagreement over the subject matter in front of strangers.
“Ok. I decided. You agreed,” he said factually. They stared at each other in a silent conversation, then Chris looked back down to the baby in his arms.
Ciaran turned to Jack and Ethan and said, “We had just moved so quickly. We fell in love quickly and were married within a year. I wanted to slow things down, stop and smell the roses. Know ourselves more as a couple before adding to our family. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.”
Ethan nodded. “I know what you mean about getting together so quickly without knowing each other more. We went through something similar. Sometimes I feel like Jack and I are still getting to know each other, four years later.” He smiled sarcastically at Jack who glared at him.
Ciaran watched baby Jackie who stared back at him with her light brown eyes, ironically similar to Ethan’s. When she had finished her bottle, asked them, “May I hold her as well?”
“Sure,” Ethan agreed. Ciaran got up before Ethan could tell him and washed his hands in the kitchen sink.
Chris handed the baby over his husband who instantly smiled. “She is beautiful. Congratulations. EJ is a brilliant lad as well. Well done, mates. You’ve got a beautiful family,” Ciaran said.
Chris stood up. “Well, speaking of family, it’s my nephew’s birthday so I’m going to call him. It’s about 6am there and he’s certainly up. I’ll step out for the call.”
He left the apartment. A few moments later Jack stood up and began to walk toward the front door. Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “Where are you going, Jack?” he asked quietly.
Jack turned around. “Just going to check on Chris.” They stared at each other for a few seconds. “What, you’re going to tell me to sit down, that I’m not going anywhere?”
Ethan’s mouth opened slightly, then he closed it. He side glanced at Ciaran who obviously heard the exchange and was pretending not to. Resisting the urge to get out of his seat and yank Jack by the scruff of his hair, he said calmly, “Do what you want, Jack.” Then he turned away.
Jack stood there a moment more, then went upstairs after Chris. Ethan was pissed but kept calm in the face of company. Then Ciaran started talking.
“Chris is dynamic, isn’t he? He’s beautiful, charming and witty, and draws people to him, whether they want to be drawn or not. He can also be immature, arrogant, likes to push buttons and not know when to stop testing limits. That’s when I come in. If his behavior is making you uncomfortable, I will tell him to stop. Just let me know.”
Ethan looked at Ciaran in complete surprise. “So you have noticed your husband overtly flirting with mine?”
Ciaran looked up at Ethan. “My husband flirts with everyone. Men and women. It’s what he does.”
“And it doesn’t bother you at all?” Ethan asked incredulously.
“Not in the slightest,” Ciaran said with confidence. “He knows where his home is. See, where so many others are drawn to him, he’s only drawn to me. He won’t actually cheat with anyone because one, he loves me fiercely and two, he knows I’ll leave him without hesitation. He understands that about me. And I understand that he’s always been a free spirit, so I give him the room to be who he is within reason.”
“And you just tell him to stop and he just…does?”
“He does. For me, he will do what I ask,” Ciaran said.
“Wow. You guys have a very interesting relationship.”
“That’s the thing about falling in love with your best friend. There are parts of you that you can’t hide, because the other knows you so well. And there are parts that you just accept of the other, because you never really want to change them from being who they are. Even the parts that make you want to scream at them. I accept all of him, even the parts of him that aren’t the greatest. And he accepts me as I was before, and as I am today.
“When I met Christopher I wasn’t interested in men as partners. I spent the first 28 years of my life loving women. Him and I became fast friends and spilled all our secrets to each other, and then it became undeniable what we were to each other. He doesn’t care what I call myself, as long as I keep loving him.
“Honestly I don’t know if I’m gay now,” he chuckled. “I just know it is this man that I live for, and will die for, and I know without a doubt he feels the same about me.”
“Wow,” Ethan said again. He thought about his relationship with Jack and agreed, Jack is someone who he lives for and would die for, and he knows without a doubt that Jack feels the same.
They were quiet for a moment, then he said, “I just realized this is the most you’ve said all night, Ciaran.”
Ciaran laughed. “I am naturally more of an observer than a talker. But I felt you needed to hear this tonight.”
“Yea? What have you observed about me?”
“Hmm… We’re very similar, you know. I observed that like me, you are a serious fellow, but Jack’s playful and youthful spirit brings out the youthfulness in you. When you’re in your 30’s like we are and have been through hardships, it’s what you need to balance you out, the type of love they give to us. And we love them back the way they need to be loved. Your love for him is easy, natural, and completely unconditional, which is what he needs. Even when you are upset with him as you are now.”
Ethan smiled. “Jack is…so easy to love and so hard to put up with sometimes. Sometimes in the same moment. But you’re right. I do love him unconditionally. I know there is nothing he could do to make me stop loving him as deep as I do now.” Ciaran nodded at him.
Ethan asked, “And what have you observed about Jack?”
“About Jack, I observed that he is also beautiful, charming and witty, that is why he and Chris connect so well. He can also be immature and arrogant if he wants to be. And I see that he loves you and is committed to your life here. But also, he is trying to get your attention.” He raised an eyebrow at him.
Ethan thought about Jack’s conversation a few months back about whether they were losing passion for each other, and the conversation they had in the bedroom earlier this evening. Maybe Jack really was struggling having Chris in the same room with him, but also maybe he was being an asshole because a part of him wanted Ethan to show some jealousy and frustration over him.
“You’re cool, Ciaran. Come hang out here with us anytime,” Ethan told him.
Ciaran smiled. “I’m sure you’d want me to leave my amorous other half at home, innit?”
Ethan smiled back and shook his head. “Yea, don’t bring him back here.”
Ciaran laughed. “Duly noted,” he told him. Then he looked down at baby Jackie who fell back asleep in his arms. “She certainly is a dream, isn’t she?” he said softly. He touched her red hair gently and looked at her lovingly. Ethan smiled. He had a growing suspicion that their parenting timeline just moved up a bit.
* * * * *
Jack found Chris outside the Inn on the phone. He looked at Jack when he came out but talked into the phone. “Go make your cereal quietly, and don’t wake mummy. I will see you soon, Rudy. Happy birthday again.”
He hung up and looked at Jack. “So the other reason I came out here was to light a joint. Care to join me, mate?”
Jack, who does not typically smoke marijuana but was already drunk said, fuck it to himself and nodded. Chris took out cigarette case from his jeans pocket and pulled one out, then pulled out a lighter and lit it. He took two puffs and passed it to Jack. Jack took one small puff as to not embarrass himself and coughed a bit before handing it back.
“I still can’t believe you are here,” Jack said.
“I can’t believe you’re still here. Small town Jack with big dreams ended up being small town Jack. It’s fascinating to me. But Ethan is special, I can see that.”
“He is special,” Jack said. “He’s the love of my life.”
“How cliche and yet so apt,” said Chris. They looked at each other and smiled.
Jack took a bigger drag with confidence that he wasn’t going to choke on it and said to Chris, “There is so much I wanted to say to you all these years. Like, how much I wanted to thank you.”
“For what?” Chris asked.
“I had never met another person like you before you came to my small town with your sexuality and openness. It gave me the confidence to be open about my sexuality as a teenager. And that people would accept me and those that didn’t, fuck them. It changed my life. You changed my life,” he told Chris.
Chris laughed. “For a moment I thought you were going to thank me for all the fucking around we did in the barn.”
Jack busted out laughing then puffed again and passed it to Chris, fingertips touching. “Yea, that too,” Jack said and they both laughed.
“I didn’t do anything, Jack,” Chris said. “You were always going to be this person, with or without me. You wouldn’t have stayed in the closet long. You’ve always been strong and confident. If it wasn’t me, someone else was going to bring it out of you. Maybe Connor.” He shook his head and smiled. “Fucking Connor. I can’t believe you let that arsehole fuck you.”
“Maybe because you wouldn’t,” Jack said. Chris, being an older boy of two years refused to break him in as he called it, so Jack let Connor do it two months later.
“Maybe I was a kid too and didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe it was just easier letting you do me.” They stared at each other. Chris then said, “Maybe I reeeally regret not fucking you back then.” Then he started laughing, making Jack laugh. He puffed again and said, “But maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was for the best. Because it made you who you are today.”
“Maybe. But you also gave me the idea to go to Ireland. Make a wrong, right again. I need to thank you for that as well,” Jack said.
Chris puffed. “All I said to you was, if it was me, I would kill them all.”
“And then helped me plan it.”
“I…listened and fine tuned your ideas. Went over and kinks in the plan.”
“Why are you downplaying who you were to me?” Jack asked, getting frustrated.
Chris was quiet for a moment, then puffed and passed him the joint, fingertips touching. “Maybe I’m downplaying who you were to me.” He looked at him. “I’ve had two healthy male relationships my entire life. You were the first. Ciaran is the second.” He looked away. “So maybe I should be thanking you, for showing me how a friend can turn into something more. Something…beautiful.”
Jack was quiet for a moment. Then asked him, “Why did you leave the way you did? You just like…left me in the barn. I woke up alone and you were gone. Then you went to your aunt’s house and never came back. You…broke my fucking heart.”
Chris said without looking at him, “Because goodbyes suck. And I didn’t want to say goodbye to you. It would have broken my heart to say goodbye, knowing I would most likely never see you again. And I was a selfish prick. I’m sorry.”
Jack passed him back the joint, fingertips touching. He said quietly, “I accept your apology.”
Chris smiled and looked at him. “In case you haven’t figured it out, I considered you my first love.” Jack smiled widely at him. Chris looked at him for a few moments, then spoke again.
“Jack Redmond. You’re just as handsome as the day I met you in the apple tree. Maybe more so now because of your manliness. It’s incredible looking at you, being here with you, Jack. Having you smile at me with that dimpled smile again. With those jeweled eyes that makes a person feel like they’re the only one in the room when you’re looking at them. With the heart of gold that loves purely and completely. Ethan is a very lucky man.”
He puffed his joint again and tried to pass it to Jack, but Jack refused it and instead stood in front of him closely. Then Jack said, “I consider you my first love too.” They stared at each other.
Jack leaned in and in the last second changed his mind and kissed Chris on the side of his cheek instead, right outside of his mouth. Then he reached around to his back and hugged him, putting his face on his chest. Chris tossed away his joint and wrapped his arms around Jack’s shoulders. They held each other for a while. Jack began to feel them both growing erections and pulled back first to let him go.
“I have to go to Ethan,” Jack said.
Chris nodded. “As you should. Tell Ciaran I’ll be in, in a minute.” They stood there for another moment looking at each other. Then Jack gave Chris his sideways smile and Chris smiled back widely. He turned and went back inside.
Ethan and Ciaran had started a two man game of gin rummy when Jack came in. They both looked up. “Where’s Chris?” Ciaran asked.
“He was outside smoking a joint, said he’d be in soon,” Jack said as he sat down next to Ethan.
Ethan smelled the marijuana all over him and it almost set him off to react physically toward Jack. He had never known Jack to smoke pot. Ethan exhaled out through his nose. He didn’t know if he was frustrated, angry or jealous. Maybe all three. He shook his head but again said nothing as his body went rigid.
Jack could feel Ethan’s anger next to him. He called his name softly, “Ethan.”
Ethan turned to look at him and let Jack see how upset he was. His Jackie Bear, with the green eyes and the dimpled smile that he was giving him right now, had been showing someone else affection all night. It was too much to handle. And if Jack felt even a part of what he was feeling right now when Carlos was here, he was more sorry now than he’d ever been.
Jack’s smile faded a bit. He leaned in and kissed Ethan on the lips softly. Then he touched his face lightly and kissed him again, putting his tongue in his mouth and his arms around his neck to pull him closer. Ethan made a small internal groan and grabbed the back of Jack’s hair tightly as they kissed passionately.
Ethan pulled Jack’s face away first. Putting just an inch between their faces and still holding onto Jack’s hair tightly, he said softly but angrily, “Took you long enough.”
Jack smiled. “Take me to bed.” Ethan smiled back.
Ciaran who had been watching them with his own smile stood up and said, “I will see myself out. Have a good night, gentlemen.” He left.
Jack got up and took Ethan’s hand. They walked over to the bassinet to check on sleeping Jackie, then led him to the bedroom. They kissed and Ethan took off Jack’s shirt while Jack took off Ethan’s shirt. Jack moved toward him and Ethan gave him a smile, then put his two palms against his chest and lightly shoved him. Jack chuckled and came toward him again and Ethan shoved him again. Jack’s eyes went wide.
“Why do you keep shoving me?” Jack asked.
“I don’t know. It just feels good right now,” Ethan said amusingly.
Jack laughed, and he playfully shoved Ethan. Ethan shoved him back a little harder and Jack stumbled against the edge of the bed. He looked at Ethan wide eyed again and said, “You want to hit me, Ethan?”
“If I wanted to hit you, I’d just hit you.”
“Well technically you are hitting me.”
“Oh, am I? Ok I’ll stop. After this one.” And he shoved Jack again with a bit more force.
Jack stumbled again then stood up. “Don’t make me beat the shit out of you, E,” he said seriously.
Ethan laughed. “Not a chance, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid.”
“Don’t act like one.”
They stood still for a moment staring at each other. Then Jack slowly moved to stand in front of Ethan and kissed him on the lips. He took his whole hand and placed it on Ethan’s face lovingly. Then he shoved his face, hard.
Ethan stumbled backwards, hitting the door with a thud and his head snapped back in surprise. He let a moment pass, then ran up quickly grabbing Jack by his waist lifting him off his feet and dropping him on the bed making Jack laugh.
They began to wrestle and grab at each other playfully, trying to overpower the other. Jack had the upper hand for most of it, being quicker to get out of holds. At one point Jack was on top of Ethan backwards and had Ethan’s arm pinned by his shoulder, but then Ethan dragged his tongue across the nape of Jack’s neck which startled him just enough for him to flip Jack over to his back.
He grabbed Jack by both of his wrists with one hand and used his index finger knuckle to dig into his underarms and ribs making him laugh.
“Fuck, stop Ethan!” he yelled and laughed. “Get the fuck off me!”
Ethan poked him with every word. “You. Fucking. Ass. Hole. How. Dare. You. Flirt. With. Another. Fucking. Man. Let. Another. Man. Touch. You. Are. You. Fucking. Crazy?”
“Ok! Stop, ok, I’m sorry! I took it too far!” Jack cried. Ethan leaned his head down and bit a nipple. Jack yelped then whined, “Fuck Ethan, that hurt!”
“Yea? Well it hurt to see you eye fucking and touching sexy ass Lenny Kravits,” Ethan growled at him.
Jack laughed. “Sexy Lenny Kravits. You’re fucking hilarious.”
“I’m not hilarious. I’m pissed off and annoyed at you for all of it,” he said seriously. “What the fuck were you thinking!?”
Jack stopped laughing and they were quiet for a moment. Jack said, “Let my hands go, E.”
Ethan did. Jack flipped Ethan onto his back and kissed him. He grinded his body against him, and sucked his neck hard and for a while, leaving him red and purple hickies, then they kissed passionately again. Jack took off his jeans and Ethan’s sweatpants. Ethan grabbed the clear bottle off the nightstand and silently stroked him and lube him up.
Jack stood up to straddle him and lowered himself onto Ethan’s dick. Ethan instinctively held his waist as Jack began to move back and forth, sliding up to his head and sliding back down, his shaft pressing against his sweet spot. Jack closed his eyes and rode Ethan’s cock for a while, moaning as softly as he could. There was no place in the world that he’d rather be.
Then he heard Ethan say, “Who are you fucking, Jackie? Me or him?”
Jack stopped moving and opened his eyes and looked at his husband, who he loves with all his heart. He kept his eyes focused on Ethan’s brown ones as he leaned up. He touched Ethan’s cheeks softly rubbing his thumb along his chin hairs. He traced his index finger along Ethan’s mouth, touched his nose and traced his eyebrows. He ran his hands through his hair with his fingers. He put his finger in Ethan’s ear and came back around to his cheek.
Ethan began to do the same, reached up and touched Jack’s lips, nose, eyebrows and ears. Then he moved down to touch his neck, his chest that was peppered with thin black chest hairs, his perfect abs, went around his penis that was pointing straight up and put his finger in Jack’s belly button. Jack followed him, touching Ethan’s shoulders and chest, ran his hands over his nipples making Ethan moan. He reached back up and held onto Ethan’s face with both hands again. They locked eyes.
Jack showed him instead of answering him. He leaned down and kissed him on the lips, then he leaned up a little and began to move again, watching Ethan watch him. He kept his eyes open and focused on his lover as much as he could, moaning and moving faster, changing up strokes from moving into a squatting position and bouncing up and down, to on his knees moving back and forth.
Ethan moved one hand from Jack’s waist and held onto his penis between them, so that as Jack was sliding back and forth on him, his cock was sliding in and out of Ethan’s tight fist. They held eye contact as Jack moved into climax. His eyes fluttered and he came silently, his Irish cream coming out in long white spurts coating Ethan from his neck to his hands; Ethan came right behind him, lifting up Jack’s bottom with his groin area and groaned out his orgasm, coating Jack’s insides with his hot white Irish cream.
Jack slid off of Ethan’s cock and moved to lay to the side of Ethan but Ethan rolled with him so that he was laying on top of him. With his chin resting on Jack’s chest, he looked up at his husband, lover and best friend.
Jack answered his question softly, “Only you, Ethan. Always you.”
Ethan watched him for a moment, then turned his head to lay down on Jack’s chest. Jack ran his fingers through Ethan’s hair repeatedly until Ethan fell asleep.
* * * * *
Ethan felt him before he opened his eyes. He awoke lying on his stomach and found Jack watching him in his sleep, running his fingers through his hair, then trailed his fingertips lightly and slowly down his spine, rubbing his bottom, then back to his hair again. When Ethan’s eyes opened, a stream of sunlight through the window curtain was hitting Jack’s face, making his green eyes brighter.
Jack leaned over and kissed his shoulder, putting his head on it. “I’m sorry Ethan,” he said sincerely. Ethan did not respond, he let Jack talk.
“I want you to know that I wasn’t trying to hurt you and I wasn’t giving you payback for Carlos. Liam had said to me a long time ago that it’s hard to let go when it’s your first love and I didn’t really get it then but I get it now. All of these feelings came out of nowhere and I just… having your first love and your current love in the same room is a fucking nightmare. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
Ethan chuckled. “Yea, it’s a fucking nightmare.”
“I was inconsiderate of your feelings at best, wholly disrespectful at worse,” Jack said. “And I’m sorry. I really, truly am. No excuses. I fucked up.”
Ethan leaned up so he laid on his side and said, “After everything I put you through with Carlos, you have full range to feel however you feel about your first love coming back into your life.”
“Yea, but that doesn’t mean I needed to act on those feelings. I did have things I needed to say to him and I’m glad I did, but all the purposely flirting, touching… I don’t know what came over me. But it won’t ever happen again.”
Ethan was thoughtful. “Ciaran said you were trying to get my attention. Were you?”
It was Jack’s turn to be thoughtful. “I don’t know. I do know that I didn’t like how casual you were about it. I mean, what if I did kiss him or he kissed me? Would that have been ok with you?”
“Fuck no,” Ethan said. “But I do owe you one pass, so if you did, I’ll swallow it and let it go.”
“I didn’t.”
Ethan was skeptical. “Yea? The way you came in and kissed me last night made me think otherwise.”
Jack looked at him. “I didn’t.”
“But you wanted to,” Ethan said knowingly.
Jack let a moment pass. “I’m sorry, Ethan.”
Ethan shrugged. “I owe you one.”
Jack moved into Ethan’s chest and wrapped his arm around him. Ethan laid back so that Jack could lay on him and they were quiet for a while. Then Ethan said, “I’m going to hate myself for this, but I kind of like the name Jacqueline Christina. JC. It is cute.”
Jack laughed. “I only said it to piss you off.”
“I know,” said Ethan. “But my grandpop, my dad’s dad, his name was Christian. I think he would like it if we named our daughter Christina.”
Jack rubbed his arm and kissed his chest. “Jackie Chris Starling.” Jack said.
He shook his head. “Jacqueline Christina Frazier. I’ve decided. You saw her born. You cut the umbilical cord. She gets your last name.”
“But then her and Ethan will have different last names. I thought we’d at least hyphenate.”
“We have different last names and we’re family. They’ll be family too.”
Jack was quiet again, then said, “Fuck, I fucking love you, man. Like… my heart feels like it’s going to come out of my fucking chest some days, just burst with all the love I have for you. It’s not fucking normal how fast and how hard I fell in love with you, and how I still feel that same fucking way I felt from the first kiss. And every time I think there is nowhere left to grow, fuck, I just fall deeper in fucking love with you. It’s like…fuck.”
Ethan pulled him closer and kissed his head. “That’s the most romantic thing you ever said to me. It’s like a Hallmark card.”
* * * * *
After Jack dropped EJ off at the bus stop, Jack and Ethan, while holding baby Jackie, met Chris and Ciaran on their way out.
“Thank you for your hospitality, we appreciate it very much,” Ciaran said, shaking Ethan’s hand.
Jack and Chris hugged tightly. “It was so good to see you, Jack. All grown up and with a family,” Chris said. Jack pulled back first.
“Good to see you as well, Chris,” Jack told him. He went to shake hands with Ciaran.
Chris went to hug Ethan who took a small step back and held out his hand for a handshake instead. Chris chuckled at Ethan’s standoffish behavior and shook his hand. “It was good to meet you, Ethan. I love how much you love him. He deserves that after all he’s been though. You’re as perfect for Jack as Ciaran here is for me.”
“I know I am,” Ethan said with a smile, squeezed his hand tighter, then let go.
Chris turned back to Jack. They looked at each other for a moment. Then Jack stepped closer to Ethan, took his hand and said, “Goodbye, Chris.”
Chris said, “Goodbye Jack, with the emerald eyes. Maybe… Maybe I’m going to miss you all over again.”
Jack blushed and Ethan’s eyes narrowed. Then he saw Ciaran reach up to the nape of Chris’s neck and stroke him there. He said very softly, “Stop.”
Chris turned to look at him and they stared at each other having a silent conversation with their eyes. Then Ciaran smiled lovingly and Chris smiled with him. They leaned in to kiss simultaneously, their lips lingered for a moment, eyes closed. When they opened their eyes again, they stared at each other for another moment.
Ciaran trailed his hand down Chris’s arm to hold his hand, then turned to Jack and Ethan. He said, “We’re going to get going. Thank you again, for everything.” Then he turned Chris around and they walked away hand in hand. Chris did not glance back.
“Wow,” said Ethan astonished.
“What?” Jack asked.
Ethan shook his head. “Nothing.” He turned to face Jack and handed JC to him, then kissed his lips. “Heading over to The Residence, I will see you tonight. For dinner.”
He started walking to his car and Jack called out, “Ethan.”
Ethan turned around. They looked at each other, having their own conversation with their eyes about how much they love each other. Then Ethan said, “Jackie with the emerald eyes.” He smiled at him.
Jack smiled back at him, his sideways smile. “Eyes that I only have for you, babe.”