(If you came looking for cartoons they are in the previous chapters.)
*****
Chapter Ten — The Future’s So Beige You Gotta Wear Shades
James and future Mary were standing next to the UFO as it quietly hovered above a parking spot next to the street.
Mary was glad to get out of the space car and she did some sexy little stretches that caused her tiny skirt to lift up exposing her smooth pussy lips to the warm sunlight.
She had been harvesting so much cum from James that it was constantly running down her soft legs and collecting in her shoes. It squished between her toes with every step but Mary didn’t care.
James shamelessly stared at the young girls slippery butt cheeks peeking out from underneath her skirt while she did a few bouncy jumping jacks.
With the pockets cut out of James ugly swim trunks he used the secret entrance to tuck his relentlessly hard cock into the elastic waistband so he could walk without it bouncing around.
“Ok, are you ready to see the wonderful future?” Mary smiled and slithered up his arm.
“YEAH!” James yelled excitedly. He had visions of robots and hover boards and movies in 3d running through his head as the young couple headed into the park.
She slipped her hand into James pocket and casually tugged his dong while they walked down the tree lined path.
Our horny young heroes eventually stumbled upon a little area with a fountain filled with some people of the future.
They walked hand in hand and the people sitting on the benches surrounding the beautiful fountain were eerily motionless. They were slouched on the benches with their mouths hanging open staring blankly at the sky.
Everybody was nicely dressed and had content smiles on their faces while they sat like grim mannequins.
James thought it was really unnerving to be surrounded by so many people but noticed by none.
“What’s wrong with them?” He asked.
“Nothing… they’re just relaxing.”
“Why aren’t they moving?”
Mary slipped her hand back into his pocket and playfully squeezed his dong while they walked.
“Because they’re in the zone… it’s like a picture that is projected into your mind with those glasses.” She smiled.
James looked around at the motionless zombies, “Yikes, it looks awful.”
“Oh no, it’s really fun… everybody does it.” Mary was a big fan of the zone and always defended it when it was called creepy.
“Do you want to try it?” She asked with an insistent tone.
James waved his hand in the face of a lady with zone glasses; her eyes were rolled in the back of her head and she looked dead.
When James poked her she sprang to life and spit out a little tube that ran from an arm of the glasses.
“Yes… can I help you?” The friendly stranger asked.
“OH!” James was startled, “I’m sorry; I was just making sure you were okay.” He sputtered.
Mary interrupted to excuse James rudeness. “I’m so sorry; my friend here isn’t accustomed to this time, we’re from a future timeline and were trying to stop a war that kills you all.”
“Oh, it’s no bother.” The lady said before slumping down and letting her eyes roll back into her head once again.
“Mary, you can’t tell me you don’t find this creepy!”
She looked around for a moment before conceding, “Okay, I guess it’s a little bit creepy, but you would understand if you just tried it.”
“I don’t know…” He said suspiciously as he got right up into a bearded man’s face.
He could see his own reflection in his sunglasses and he could see Mary rummaging through her tiny backpack behind him, she had a little white glob of cum clinging to her little butthole when she bent over.
“Here, just try it for one second,” she insisted while she used the scanner to copy the man’s sunglasses and underwear.
She handed them to James and he was appalled by the copy of used underwear. It had a little pocket in the front for his dong and a little plug that James was pretty sure Mary was going to insist he put in his ass.
“Mary I don’t want to do this.” He said inspecting the plug.
“Oh don’t be a baby, the pants are only to get rid of waste and for sexual release …” She put her hand over one side of her mouth and said, “It banishes waste to another dimension.”
Mary was giggling and hoping James next question would be the perfect set up for a joke she often used while describing the poop dimension.
“Wow, a whole dimension filled with poop?” James asked.
Mary raised her eyebrow in anticipation of his inevitable next sentence.
“What’s that place like?” And with that James had lobbed her perfect comedy set up for a delicious pun.
“IT’S A REAL SHITSHOW!” Mary rolled around the floor holding her side and laughing at her own hilarious joke.
James just watched not amused at all.
“Oh, some people just don’t get puns.” She playfully poked James naked belly, “just try it for one second and I’ll stop tickling you, just slip the glasses on and off for one second and tell me if you like it.”
“I don’t think that’s even a pun.” He said trying to think of the definition of the word pun.
She knelt down attempting to dress James in the peculiar undergarment and he gave in and just slipped them on.
He slipped his dick in the little front pocket and rested the plug on his asshole while Mary messed with some buttons on the scanner. “What’s your favorite food?” She asked.
“I don’t know… waffles? Maybe waffles with whip cream and strawberries?”
“I’m going to start you off with a simple lawn simulator, nothing too weird.” She slipped the glasses on his forehead and instructed him to bite the tube.” This keeps you fed.”
Mary was describing this process like it was nothing out of the ordinary but as his mouth was filled with the flavor of the best strawberry waffle he has ever tasted and the underwear started constricting and squeezing his cock, he felt very uncomfortable with the whole thing.
“Are you ready?” She smiled and slapped his butt forcing the device deep inside.
“I guess… promise ill only be in there for one second?” He cautiously asked.
“I promise.” Mary slipped the glasses down over his eyes and James immediately found himself standing in front of a cute little house.
The sun was shining and a light breeze blew the scent of lavender through the fenced in back yard.
He took a few steps through the overgrown grass and walked around the lawnmower. “God… it’s so lifelike!” He was amazed at the detail.
James looked closely at the intricacies of a leaf hanging from a tree next to him when a voice startled him.
“Honey!? Could you help me with this lawn? It’s so overgrown.” A beautiful young woman yelled in a cute southern accent.
She was holding a tray of drinks and waiving from the porch of the tiny house.
He looked at the lawnmower and even though Mary said it was supposed to be a lawn simulator he went to go look at the lady instead of the suggested mower.
The simulated steps creaked convincingly and when he stepped up to the porch the lady offered him a sweet tea.
She was wearing a pair of cutoff jeans in that short sexy way where the edges are frayed and you can see the pockets poking out.
James took a sip and the two stared at each other for a moment.
The cute little simulation smiled and blinked her eyes mindlessly waiting for James to do something she could react to.
“So… you’re a computer?” He asked.
The girl giggled and put the tray on a conveniently placed little table, “No, I’m not the computer… I’m just some code running in the simulation.
She returned to idle mode and stared at him blankly waiting for input.
James gently poked her arm amazed at how lifelike it all felt.
The girl let out a sexy little giggle and said in a cute sultry way, “Don’t poke me unless you mean it you sneaky sausage.
He paused and gently touched one of her breasts, she leaned into his hand but complained about how long the grass had gotten.
James slowly danced his fingers down her belly and slipped two fingers down her low cut little jean shorts.
“The lawn is so long and unmanageable, I wish someone would mow it.” She repeated.
He slid two fingers down her warm pussy lips and the girl just melted into his hand while she kept talking about the grass.
“The lawn sure could use some maintenance…” She said while she thrust on James’ fingers.
He wriggled deeper into her tight pants and as soon as his fingers pushed into her body she pulled away and started protesting.
The simulation took James sweet tea from the table and sucked the straw as sexy as a computer simulation could. “Not until you finish the mowing the yard.” She said pointing at the lawnmower.
James knew that Mary promised to take the glasses off after one second so he didn’t have much time in the zone.
He pulled the girl close and forcibly shoved his hand down the front of her pants, but she again pulled away insisting he does yard work first.
“I don’t want to mow the grass!” He yelled at the girl.
She smiled, handed him a rake and said, “Well then you shouldn’t be playing the yard work simulator.
He sighed and took a look at all the work that needed to be done in the yard, “So… can we fuck when I’m done with the yard?” he asked knowing he wouldn’t have enough time to do both.
When she turned around to put the glass on the table James stared at the bottom of her butt-cheeks poking out from the frayed high cut jean shorts.
She arched her back and did an orgasmic little wiggle, “Of course we can fuck when you’re finished… you can fuck me anywhere you want when the work is finished.” She smiled and awaited further input.
James hung his head and went to get the mower.
“James?” The girl yelled over while he pulled the rope, “… How come whenever I tell someone they can fuck me anywhere they want… they always choose my butt?”
James laughed and gave the rope a few pulls before answering, “I don’t know simulation… I just don’t know.”
Once he got it started the girl waited on the porch and drank tea while she cheered him on a bit overenthusiastically.
James pushed the mower through the thick grass and the smell of chlorophyll floated on the breeze. His bare feet slowly turned green from the clippings and he was really sweating from the warm summer sun.
He took a break halfway through and his naked body was itchy and covered in grass, he wiped his forehead and yelled up to the porch, “Hey, simulation girl?”
“Yes, James?” The girl yelled back.
“I sure could go for some of that sweet tea of yours.” He said squinting at the sun.
The girl happily pranced down the steps and brought him the coldest sweetest tea he has ever had… it was delicious.
“This is delicious!” He complimented the girl.
“Why thank you!” She smiled and did a little dance.
James tried sneaking his fingers down her pants one more time thinking he might have done enough yard work for her but she wasn’t having it.
“Not yet you sneaky sausage…” She smiled and went back to complaining about how unkempt the yard was.
“My, this grass is so unbearably long.” She said while sexy dancing. “Someone needs to mow this lawn.” She just went on and on until James started working again.
“Gees, what a slave driver.” He muttered under his breath as he forced the heavy mower into the thick grass.
“What was that?” The girl asked over the loud engine.
“Nothing… I didn’t say anything.”
James stared at the cute simulations butt when she pranced back up to the porch and resumed the unnecessary cheering.
After some time James was exhausted, his muscles were aching but he only had one long strip left, he was pretty irritated that Mary broke her promise to only leave the glasses on for one second but on the upside he was about to finish in time to fuck the cute simulation girl.
When he got to the end of the strip the young girl bounced through the freshly cut grass and brought him some more tea.
“Oh thank you so much James, it looks great… nice job!”
“So now can we fuck?” He asked not wanting to waste any more time.
“Oh… Yeah!” She joyfully agreed and quickly stripped naked.
James played with her pussy for just a moment before they lay down in the fresh damp grass and held each other’s naked bodies.
He slipped his cock between her legs and she danced her slippery lips on his shaft while they kissed. The grass was slowly turning their naked bodies green as they slithered around in the soft wet lawn clippings.
James held her naked butt cheek and the simulation squeaked when he slipped his cock into her perfect little pussy. Just as soon as he did something reflected the sun into his eyes and a flash of light momentarily blinded him.
When he regained his vision Mary was staring him in the eyes.
“So what did you think?” She asked while she held the glasses.
James was standing helplessly in the park with a giant boner and a slight taste of waffles in his mouth. “Jesus Mary! How long was I in there?”
“One second… just like I promised… I just slipped them on and then off again really quickly.
James was amazed and horrified by the future; he looked around at the motionless crowd around him, each on their own timeless adventure while their bodies withered away in real life.
“Mary… I mean that was fun, but, but these people are just wasting their life on the bench.”
“Well… at least their getting out, it’s a beautiful day and their enjoying it in the park.”
“BUT IT’S NOT REAL!” He couldn’t get why she didn’t see what was horrifying about it.
“Why does that matter?”
“Mary! It matters! It matters a lot! …these people aren’t even really people anymore! They just sit around plugged in all day!” James wriggled out of the second hand zone pants and jumped back into his swim trunks.
“Yeah, they do, but if you live a better life in the simulation what does it matter? I mean if you spent your whole life in there you could experience being born, raise a family and die at a ripe old age a thousand times over before your actual body died.”
James rolled his eyes, “Mary that’s horrible.” He sat down on the bench next to an oblivious girl to tie his shoelaces.
Mary slithered up his body and sat in his lap while she gently kissed his lips and giggled, she was amused by James primitive Luddite tendencies. “Oh, you’re so cute; it’s like a puppy being scared of his shadow.”
“It’s not like that at all.” James pouted.
She gave a quick look around before slipping his dong through the fly of his pants and she wiggled around in his lap until it secretly worked its way into her thin little body.
“Would it be better if they didn’t even know they were in a simulation?” She asked with a smirk while she slowly rode his dick right next to a crowd of completely unaware people in the zone.
“MARY! …Are we? …Am I? …”
Mary gave him a smug look, feeling she was about to prove a point, “Well… if you WERE in a simulation, and instead of flying through time fucking cartoons and punching Hitler in the dick, you were really just some old guy sitting on a dirty sofa somewhere in real life… would you want to know?”
James started to panic as the puzzle pieces fell into place. “Mary?” He cried out and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I can’t live without you.”
“Oh, James that’s so sweet!” She hugged him and dried his tears, “I’m so sorry, it’s not a simulation, I was just trying to prove a point.” She smiled and kissed his nose trying to reassure him she was real.
“But what if that’s what you were programmed to think?” James sniffed; he didn’t know what to believe.
Mary got a confused look on her face and couldn’t really come up with an answer. “No, I’m real… and you’re real… and these people are in a simulation.” She said with confidence while she gently bounced.
“But how can you be sure?” James asked.
She climbed out of his lap pulling his dong from her warm comfortable body and said, “Well, for one thing, we didn’t come all this way and meet all these characters, and build that whole city up in the cube just to use a lazy plot device like, ‘oh it was all a dream, ‘to wrap up the ending.”
James didn’t know anything about the city in the cube with the hundred girl orgy but he was feeling a little bit better as Mary kept talking.
She held his hand while they continued walking down the sidewalk “I mean look at the page number down there, we’re not even halfway done with our story.” She continued.
James broke the fourth wall and poked his head out of the book to look down at the page number; he smiled as he realized she was right and this was only chapter ten.
“Yeah! Your right, this can’t be a simulation for the simple fact that it would just be too lame and predictable to end in a dream.” He giggled.
“Besides,” Mary continued, “Even if it were a simulation it wouldn’t matter, we could still live our whole lives together a hundred times over before your feeding tube ran out and your real body dies.” She smiled and kissed his nose.
“Mary please stop talking.” James asked nicely.
They wandered through the empty streets of the future city, the stark drab buildings were right next to the sidewalk and there were no trees or grass or anything, just a whole city of bland beige concrete.
Every street they turned down looked exactly like the others, just like a three-sided hallway around every corner.
“Where are all the stores and shops?” James asked.
“They don’t need them… everybody eats from the tube.”
“But what if they need to buy something, like a couch or clothes or something?”
“Ha, nobody would waste money on a fancy couch in real life when you could just have it in the zone, and clothes are delivered on schedule to their house before they even know the old ones are worn out.”
“But what about hanging out with friends and socializing?”
“It’s all done in the zone.” She explained while they past crowds of motionless people all over the sad city.
“Mary, this place is so bleak.” James was uneasy about the whole future experience, “I thought there would be like flying cars and 3d movies and hover-boards and fun stuff like that… this is just awful.”
“Oh, they have all of that stuff…”
“Let me guess…” He interrupted, “In the zone?”
Mary smiled and shook her head yes.
“And this is the good future? The one we’re working so hard to save?” He was beginning to question if the universe even deserved to be saved at all.
“James, don’t judge these people, I’m sure that if you went back in time and told someone who never watched TV that you spend most of your days sitting motionless in front of a flickering box they would think YOUR sad.”
He thought about the parallels and was ashamed at his former life. He couldn’t think of any reason she was wrong so he just held her hand and snuggled next to her while they walked down the sterile sidewalk.
After passing what seemed like a hundred boring buildings that all looked the same they finally came upon an open shop.
“Come on, this is where we’re going.” Mary tugged his arm coaxing him through the door.
James stood fast refusing, “Mary really? It’s a dentist… I’m not going to the dentist… How can that be the only thing open in this whole future city?
Mary got behind him and comically tried to push him through the door. “A dentist can’t work in the zone, he needs a real office.” She said before ejecting a ball of cheese from the scanner.
“Here… I got you some cheese.” She smiled.
James looked at the disgusting cheese ball in her outstretched hand; it clearly had a pill poking out.
“I’m not eating that!” He said emphatically.
Mary gave him the sad puppy-dog eyes and stretched her arm out farther.
“Mary just tell me what’s going on! I know you’re trying to drug me, what are we doing at the dentist?”
“Ok fine, I’ll tell you, but you won’t understand” She stuffed the cheese in her mouth and continued.
“We need to get a bubble tooth implant so we can be protected from the crushing vacuum of space when we fly naked through the galaxy… I’m getting one with a cup holder… do you want the cup holder option?”
“What? …No, a vacuum cup holder? I don’t understand.”
“See I told you… you should have just eaten the cheese.”
James followed her through the door and the receptionist asked, “How can I help you?”
Mary smiled and shook her hand, “Hi my name is Mary and this is James, We just need a bubble tooth installed.”
“Oh, ok well that’s no problem; we just had a cancellation and can fit you in right away if you have time.”
“Ha!” Mary laughed, “James did you hear that? If we have the time she said!”
James giggled, “Time is the only thing we do have.” He was super happy to use cheesy cliché time travel jokes.
The receptionist scribbled a bunch of nonsense on some papers and handed them over for the couple to sign, “Can I interest you in the gold series platinum upgrade? It comes with a luxurious cup holder.”
“Ooo, yeah, I’ll take that!” Mary wiggled her eyebrows at a luxurious picture of a cup-holder. “James are you sure you don’t want the upgrade?”
“Mary, I have never seen you hold a cup or drink anything at all, why would you possibly need something like that?”
“Fine,” she said incredulously, “Just don’t ask me to hold your beverage when we are flying naked through the cold vacuum of space.”
James just nodded agreeing to whatever.
Mary smiled at the receptionist “We’ll take one base model and one luxury package please.”
“Ok, one base model… one luxury… and how would you like to pay for that?”
Mary grabbed her scanner “Umm… do you accept comically large cartoon third party checks from the distant past?”
Mary ejected an unmanageably large cartoon check from the scanner, it had Black peppers name on it but it was scratched out and Mary’s name was poorly written underneath, and in the memo it said, “FOR SUCKING DICK!!”
Mary handed it to the receptionist, and with that the transaction was complete.
They sat in separate chairs and with few words the dentist quickly got to work yanking out one of James back teeth. He screamed and writhed in pain when the dentist replaced it with a strange metal tooth.
“See, I told you, you should have eaten the cheese,” Mary said calmly as the dentist approached her with the scary tooth puller. He yanked hers out and replaced it with no pain at all.
When the procedure was finished James gave the dentist a dirty look and held the side of his face as they left the little shop.
Mary ejected two cans of soda from the scanner and handed one to James “Ok, let’s give it a try, just click the bubble tooth together three times like this.”
She clicked her teeth and a transparent green bubble instantly formed around her and she floated a few inches above the ground.
James was amazed by Mary’s cool bubble and clicked his teeth, not surprisingly he instantly found himself in a bubble of his own, but his was slowly spinning and he got stuck upside down.
“MARY! HELP!” He yelled while he helplessly hung in the air.
Mary laughed, “You have to do like a cartoon running thing like this!” She demonstrated and ran around in the bubble like some type of indestructible hamster ball.
“Here, do a big jump like this!” She yelled right before her and her bubble shot up in the sky.
James did a big jump and his bubble launched from the face of the planet and blasted through the atmosphere until he was floating next to Mary in the cold vacuum of space.
She smiled and opened her soda while they gazed upon the little blue marble.
James was breathless at the majesty of what he was seeing… but the otherworldly moment would be disrupted as soon as he opened that soda.
“Mary this is just amazing!” James yelled through the inky blackness of space. “How long can we stay up here… is there enough air in the bubble?”
He tapped the side and even though it was made of a thin transparent material the tap sounded like he was hitting a thick wall of steel.
“You can stay in there forever… that’s kind of what the bubble was designed for… an emergency.” She said as she put her soda in the luxurious cup holder.
James couldn’t be happier, just flying through space without a care in the world until he popped open his soda.
It let out a little hiss and without any gravity to hold the liquid in the can it sprayed James in the face and left little sticky drops all over James bubble.
Mary burst out laughing and smugly rested her drink in the cup holder of the luxury model.
James was getting pelted with sticky blobs of carbonated fun and was already sick of the space bubble.
Mary showed James how to direct the bubble back to the planet, it involved a difficult to describe upside down jump.
He floated around with his soda while it fell from space at an unbelievable speed, and when they reached the ground Mary clicked her teeth three times and her bubble disappeared.
James did the same and he was standing in the street with a little fizzy puddle around his feet.
“Mary, why did you make me take a soda up there?” James asked annoyed.
Mary held his hand, “Because you wouldn’t eat the cheese, and you wouldn’t get the luxury model… look, you don’t have to listen to me… but you probably should.” She smiled sweetly and hugged his arm.
James wasn’t happy that Mary was one hundred percent right, but he did quietly decide to just do what she says from then on out.
They walked hand in hand through the depressing beige little town until they reached Mary’s UFO space car, it was parked on the side of the road just hovering next to a parking meter with a ticket stuck to the side.
“AWW MAN!” She yelled and tried to scrape the glue off.
The little stairs magically formed and they crawled inside the tiny ship.
Mary piloted the machine up into the sky and as soon as they were in the cold comfort of space she flipped on the auto pilot.
James was rewinding the simulation earth and watching the little people devolve.
“This little planet is so cute!” He smiled as he let it move forward again and little Neanderthals built little mud huts.
James was having a strange deja-vu moment and for some reason he felt the back pocket of his ugly shorts… but it was empty.
“Mary seemed annoyed.” “Well it may be cute but it’s not helping us at all.” She picked up the box containing the tiny blue planet and carelessly tossed it in the closet with a bunch of other discarded tiny planets.
“MARY!” James scolded and carefully scooped up the tiny box from the garbage pile and protected it.
She slumped into the pillow pile and watched the stars zoom by while she thought of a plan.
“So how do you pass the time up here?” James asked while he nibbled her ear.
“Well… we could fuck… or we could just use the scanner to speed up time, or I have some glasses in the closet we could hang out in the zone for a little while.” Mary gave him a few different options.
James hated everything about the zone and was getting increasingly frustrated at Mary’s love for it.
“Mary I hate the zone,” He complained. “Nothing is real and that sweet tea girl made me do all of her yard work.”
Mary just laughed, “Oh James, that’s because you were playing a yard-work simulator.”
Her explanation and disregard of his worries didn’t make him feel any better.
“I just prefer to live in reality.” He explained while they hurled through space in the little spaceship.
Mary rolled her eyes at James constant concern for reality. “Okay James, I want to show you a little experiment.” She pranced over to the second closet and when she opened the door James was startled by two lifeless aliens hanging on hooks in the back.
She rummaged around the messy little space closet for a moment before producing two pairs of glasses and the signature Zone underwear.
“MARY!” James screamed and pointed at the lifeless alien guys on hooks, “WHAT ARE THOSE?”
She just giggled at his concern. “Those are just little worker bots we send into hostile areas instead of going in person… it’s for safety.
She grabbed one of the rubbery creatures and tossed it on the floor before slipping the glasses on her head. As soon as she put them on the creature sprang to life and perfectly mimicked her movements.
“See, the zone is fun, it’s nothing to be scared of,” She said while she danced around with the silly alien.
James was still not convinced he approved of a tool that was designed to ignore reality. “I don’t know… I think I prefer reality, even with weird alien dancing the zone seems scary.”
Mary slipped off the glasses and the alien fell lifelessly to the ground, she again rolled her eyes even more dramatically than the last time.
“Okay, James… first off, it doesn’t matter what you approve of, and if there is only one reality and millions of simulations what are the chances you would be lucky enough to live in a real reality… since it is such a scarce resource.
“Well… I came from reality…” James reasoned, “and if none of this is real why would we work so hard to save a nonexistent galaxy?”
“Well okay, say this is just a simulation, and you don’t really need to complete the mission, what would you do differently?”
James thought about it for a moment, but couldn’t come up with a good answer.
Mary insisted he answer her question, “What… would you have more sex? Would you go on fantastic adventures? Would you finally be able to live a consequence-free life?”
James just looked at her blankly.
“Okay… say this whole thing was a simulation, why would you not still try to accomplish the mission that was presented to you… if it’s just a game, why wouldn’t you just play the game?”
“But if it’s not real than what’s the point?”
Mary was growing increasingly frustrated, “but before I came along when you were sure of your precious reality, all you did was eat junk food and play Nintendo… why does any of that matter?”
James could kind of see her point but still wasn’t prepared to admit that reality didn’t matter.
Mary could see that she wasn’t getting through to him and she was sick and tired of trying to explain it.
“James put these on; I need to show you something.” She handed him the glasses and he begrudgingly put them on.
Through the lenses, nothing seemed out of place. “Okay, how does it look?” She asked as she waved her hand in front of his face.
“It looks normal… I don’t think they are turned on.”
“No, they’re working… is everything real?” She asked smugly.
James knew not to doubt her godlike friend but everything looked the same with or without the glasses. “Yes, it’s real.” He said absolutely sure this was the case.
“Okay, so if you’re so sure it’s real why don’t you put these glasses on?” She handed him a second pair of glasses.
When James tried to remove the first pair of glasses he was shocked to find they were no longer on his head.
“Wait… am I already in the zone?” He asked before slipping the new glasses on his nose.
The lenses were clear and nothing looked out of place, he looked at Mary and she was holding another pair.
She didn’t say anything, she just smiled and did some comical eyebrow-raising silently insisting he tries on yet another pair.
James did as instructed and again the pair he was already wearing disappeared before the new ones slid up his nose.
In a blink, everything was rewound just a few minutes and Mary was back to dancing with the alien.
“See, the zone is fun; it’s nothing to be scared of.” She said while she danced around with the silly creature.
James was losing track of reality and he knew that was exactly what Mary intended.
“Here, just try on the glasses one time and ill prove that reality doesn’t matter.” Mary smiled.
James cautiously took the glasses and without even checking he knew the ones he was wearing were already gone.
He slowly put them on and was instantly transported to a familiar messy living room; he took a glance at the piles of junk around him.
James was in a pair of boxers and had one black sock pulled up to his knee and the other foot was bare. The Saturday newspaper was sitting next to him on the stained couch and he saw a pack of frozen hotdogs thawing in the sink.
He started to panic as he read the headline in the paper, ‘soup at the local restaurant too hot, local residents say.’
It wasn’t so much the boring headline that caused him to panic; it was the overwhelming sense of boredom and despair that loomed over him like a dense fog.
James scrambled around trying to put the glasses back on as quickly as possible and when he did he was instantly back in the safety of the spaceship with the stars zooming above his head.
“Here… put these on.” Mary smiled and handed him another pair of glasses.
“No! Mary, I’m done… am I in the zone right now or not?”
“Yup, you’re in the zone.” She smiled. “Take the glasses off to exit.
“But I put like three different pairs on… how many layers deep am I in here?”
Simulated Mary just smiled blankly and shrugged.
He slowly removed the glasses and found himself back in front of Mary while she danced.
“See, the zone is fun; it’s nothing to be scared of.” She said as she danced around with the silly alien.
“MARY! AM I IN THE ZONE RIGHT NOW?” James demanded.
She was shocked by his panic, but she knew she had to tell him the truth. “James… I’ll tell you if you can answer one question.”
“What is it?”
“Why does it matter?” She leaned back in the pillows waiting for this primitive creature to answer the most important existential question of all time.
James thought about it long and hard before coming up with the same answer that every great philosopher of past and present has also come up with…
“I don’t know.” He answered sheepishly.
“EXACTLY!” Mary felt that she had finally made her point.
“I don’t know either… I don’t know if it’s real or why it even matters, we could both be just a couple of brains in a box or something… hell we could already be dead, or we could be a side character in someone else’s dream or yes, we could be a bit of code in a simulated world. We could be anything… but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter, we still have a mission to accomplish.”
James felt uneasy about the slim chance he has ever even experienced reality at all and had to claw his way out of the zone.
“Mary?” He calmly asked, “Am I in the zone right now?”
“Yup!” She smiled.
“GODDAMNIT!” He yelled before he took off the glasses he could suddenly feel on his face.
He was again standing in front of Mary as she danced.
“See, the zone is fun; it’s nothing to be scared of.” She said while she danced around with the silly alien.
“MARY! AM I IN THE ZONE RIGHT NOW?”
“She was startled by his panic and stopped dancing, “No, you’re not in the zone… you don’t even have glasses on you silly sausage.” She smiled.
James felt his face and there was a definite lack of zone glasses, “Are you sure this isn’t a simulation?”
“No… I’m never sure… why does that matter?” Mary said in a bone-chilling tone.
James finally realized she was right and he just decided to accept that this was reality… and even if it wasn’t it didn’t really matter, he was still going to save the universe like a mother fucking hero.
Mary slinked out of her skirt and James tossed his ugly shorts into the pile of junk in the closet.
“I really like those pants” She smiled and copied them with the dim blue light from the scanner for future use. “I can hold your dick all sneaky everywhere we go.” She giggled.
James smiled and watched her tiptoe across the ship while she casually played with her horny little pussy.
Mary collapsed into the soft pillow pile and was lying on her side giving James a sexy looks while she whispered, “Why don’t you come over here and do some disgusting things to my little body.” She did an orgasmic little stretch and hugged her own breasts.
James smiled and slowly kissed his way from her toes all the way up her naked body, pausing half way up to playfully tongue her clit before nibbling her ear.
Mary giggled and slid his cock between her soft thighs while they snuggled, but just as the young naked astronauts were getting cozy in the pillow pile Mary got a message on her scanner.
“Uh oh.” She said.
“What?” James asked while he nibbled her ear.
“I have to run over to the lizard consul really quick to deliver some bad news in person.”
“Lizard consul?” James knew all the words she just spoke but he had never heard them used together like that. “Oh no… What’s the news?” he asked sympathetically.
Mary gave James the (you don’t want to know) look and in an absolute stroke of brilliance he did not ask.
Would you rather put those glasses back on and hang out in the zone until I get back or do you want me to drop you off somewhere?” She asked.
“I guess drop me off? Can I go back to toon city with the girls? It’s been way more than an hour and I’m sure they are missing me.”
“Oh, that’s so far away, and we’re so close to the Lizard consul building can I take you back after?”
“But it’s been so long, is the other Mary going to be upset that I’m holding up the mission?”
Future Mary giggled, “It’s probably only been like a half hour in their time.”
“Oh… well then I guess I can stay for a bit longer.”
“Great! Thank you for being so flexible.” Mary kissed his nose and playfully tugged his dong while she handed him a pair of zone glasses.
“Ugh, I really don’t want to go in there.” James felt lucky that he escaped his first trip to the zone and wasn’t itching to go back.
“Well, I’m sure you don’t want to just stay in this boring ship the whole time.”
James looked around the sparsely furnished ship and asked, “Can you just drop me off somewhere near and pick me up on the way back? Isn’t there some kind of cool planet or something I can kill some time?”
“OH! I can put you in that little simulation earth for a little bit if you really don’t want to use the glasses.”
“Ooo, that sound fun… are you sure I won’t get stuck in there?”
“Nah, I’ll come to get you when I’m done and I can take you right back to the girls.” Mary smiled convincingly.
“Ok, that sounds fun.” James was a bit worried but nothing worried him more than getting stuck in the zone.
“Ok, so where do you want to go? You can enter at any time and location.”
“Oh wow!” He said as he slipped the small box containing the whole galaxy from the back pocket of the shorts in the clothing pile.
James thought about going to watch the pyramids being built or maybe he could see the real Atlantis. “I can’t decide! There are so many options.” He proclaimed.
Mary smiled, “Yeah when given every option choosing just one is nearly impossible… how about if I just send you somewhere cool?”
“Yeah… yeah, that sounds good, just put me somewhere cool, maybe with like a cool horny girlfriend or something so I have a friend down there.” He held the little box in his hand while he worried about specifics.
“Ok, I’ll temporarily erase your memory and make sure you’re not lonely… but really it’s not going to be very long.”
“WAIT WHAT? ERASE MY WHAT NOW?”
She pushed the button on the scanner and an apprehensive James disappeared in the pale blue light.