Author’s Note
Yo ho ho and a bottle of lube! It’s lesbian space pirates.
Don’t let the Chapter 9 label put you off. The stories do have a loose chronology, but like your favorite sitcom, they can also be enjoyed individually on an as-needed basis.
Chapter 9: Bored
On board The Black Prince
In the ship’s conn, Captain Jade leaned back in the pilot’s seat, turned side on to the navigation console. With one finger, she took lazy swipes at the console screen now and again. All of this was occurring while she whistled an old sea shanty.
Emily stuck her head in. She reached up and popped out a single earbud. “Hey, Cap,” she said. “Do we happen to have a multimeter on board?”
“Um, yeah,” said Jade, swiveling to face her. “Interesting request. There’s one in my toolkit. May I ask what you’re up to or do I not want to know?”
“Trying to fix the dispenser in the galley.”
“I thought it was a software lockout.”
“Yeah,” said Emily, “I thought so too. I’m currently working on a new theory.”
“Oh, okay. Need any help?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Whatcha listening too?” Jade pointed at her own ear.
“Huh?” said Emily. “Oh, slow jams. It’s a playlist I made for Lúcia. I’m expanding her musical horizons.”
“You made her a mix tape?”
“Um, something like that, I guess.” Emily jammed the earbud back in, waved, and scampered off down the corridor.
Jade turned back to the control panel, took a few swipes at it, and began whistling again.
Lúcia stuck her head in the doorway. “Captain Jade? Have you seen my music player? I fear I have misplaced it. I have retraced my steps, but to no avail. Amaliya has not seen it. I’m wondering if you have.”
“Funny you should ask,” said Jade. “I did. It was attached to Emily.”
Lúcia cocked her head.
“She made you a mix tape. I think she’s trying it out first.”
Lúcia chewed at her lip for a moment. “Did she say—”
“In the galley,” said Jade. “She’s in the galley. Working on the lockout on the controls.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks, captain.” Lúcia waved and wandered down the hall.
Jade turned back to the console and picked up her sea shanty where she left off.
Amaliya trudged down the corridor toward the sound of the whistling. She stopped and leaned against the door frame. “I’m bored,” she said.
“Emily’s working on the galley controls. Maybe she could use a hand.”
“Meh.”
“Okay… Lúcia just came looking for her music player. Plant spritzing time, I’d guess. Emily usually helps her. Maybe you could volunteer.”
“Maybe later.”
“Well, there’s not much going on up here. Just contemplating life while staring into the abyss.” Jade tilted her head toward the forward viewport. “And by abyss, I mean the usual space fog.”
“Hm,” said Amaliya, “I always assumed relativistic speeds would provide much more spectacular views. Streaks of light. Stars on fire off the shoulder of Orion. The tachyon stream glittering in the night. Something. Why else would people pay all that money for first class cabins on the trip out here? I don’t understand it.”
“People pay for first class so they can board early and have a drink in their hand while they turn their noses up at all the second and third class passengers shuffling by.”
“I guess I always kinda figured that.” Amaliya straightened up and tugged at the sleeves of her jumpsuit. “Bourgeois pigs. Nah, I meant the fog.”
“Oh,” said Jade. “Emily explained it once. Something about the speeds messing with the wavelengths of light. Compressing. Shifting. Something to that effect. Stuff you don’t normally see becomes visible. Stuff you usually see disappears.”
“Hm. I guess we’ve been missing out on seeing a lot of fog.” Amaliya took a step into the conn. “Wanna make out?”
“Yeah sure. Like now?”
Amaliya put a hand on her jumpsuit zipper and a switch in her hips as she closed the distance to where Jade was seated.
“Okay,” said Jade. “Now it is. Now is good. I can do now…”
Amaliya laid a hand on the back of the pilot’s chair and swiveled it to meet Jade head on. She climbed up and straddled her lap.
“Now is really good,” said Jade. “Let me clear my calendar…”
Amaliya encircled Jade with her hands draping over her shoulders. She dipped her head and puckered up.
“Mmm,” sighed Jade.
Amaliya arched her back and flipped a loose strand of hair over her shoulder.
“Sexy…” muttered Jade.
Amaliya shrugged off the shoulders of her jumpsuit. Her breasts strained against the thin fabric of her undershirt.
“Baby,” whispered Jade. She melted into the pilot’s chair, closed her eyes and puckered up.
“I don’t know,” said Amaliya. “Maybe there’s just been too much adventure. Maybe that’s why I’m bored. I mean. we stole a ship. We escaped the evil, asshole robots on Nouveau Paris … Maybe I’m an adventure junkie now.”
“Baby?” Jade opened her eyes.
“Seriously, though, what if I’m addicted to the rush? Like those extreme sports people that do all that crazy, dangerous shit. Maybe my body’s had a taste of the constant adrenaline that comes with living life on the hairy edge and it craves more. More. More.”
“Baby.”
“I’d never really thought about it before, you know. My life has been pretty boring up to now. Small town girl grows up in rural Midwest. Never knows what she’s missing out on until one day—”
“Baby!” Jade sat up.
“What?”
“I thought you wanted to make out.”
“I do.” Amaliya dipped her head and move in, aiming for Jade’s lips. Jade closed her eyes and eased back.
Amaliya stopped mid-way and sat bolt upright. “It’s just that I… I don’t know…”
Jade let her head fall backward and bump into the headrest. “How ’bout the Megacomf? Wanna take it for a spin?”
“Meh.”
“Meh?” said Jade. “Meh to the Megacomf, she says. I found some sex toys in Latte Lady’s stateroom. A couple looked like a recent score. Still in the original packaging and a cute little pink velvet pouch. Totally gonna sterilize that shit, though.”
“I don’t know…” Amaliya pursed her lips and sighed. “Maybe there is such a thing as too much adventure. Do you think a person’s exposure to certain dangers over the course of their life. And I’m only talking recently here…”
Jade sighed.
“Do you think…?” Amaliya said, tapping her lip with her finger. “Do you think a person could become desensitized to adventure? That normal days become humdrum drudgery. Blasé. Dare I say it…? Boring?”
“Ask Hemingway,” said Emily.
“I’d ask how long you’ve been standing there,” said Jade, turning her head, “but I’m not sure I want to know.”
“Long enough.”
Amaliya stood up and moved to the copilot’s seat where she unceremoniously plopped down. “I’m bored,” she said.
Jade looked at Emily, still standing in the doorway, and shrugged.
“Does that mean I can take over snogging duties with the captain, then?”
“Well, I…”
“Kidding,” said Emily. “Obviously a threesome. Duh. And did I hear someone say we have a newly discovered cache of sex toys on board? We could play spin the dildo.”
Jade spoke up. “Only two of ’em that I’d actually touch with a ten foot pole. The others… let’s just say they were not in the original packaging.”
“Eww,” said Emily.
“My sentiments exactly.”
“Meh,” said Amaliya.
“Meh?” Emily said.
Jade nodded. “Meh. That’s all I get. Meh. Doesn’t matter what I come up with.”
Emily paused for a moment, turning her gaze to Amaliya’s chest. She focused on the area where twin nubs of flesh were pushing out against the thin cotton fabric. “Mind if I play with your boobs?”
“Meh,” said Amaliya, but she grabbed the hem of her undershirt anyway and pulled. One after another, her breasts came jiggling free. She spun the discarded undershirt twice in the air overhead and deposited it on Jade’s shoulder.
“I was actually being sarcastic,” said Emily. “But… you know… since you’re obviously—”
“Am I missing the strip tease?” asked Lúcia. “Today the XO, tomorrow the captain? Should I expect a time slot of my own? I may need to practice my moves. And I should definitely come up with a musical selection.”
“How long have you been standing there?” said Emily.
“Long enough,” said Lúcia.
Amaliya slouched in the copilot’s seat, letting her head loll to one side as she spun around to face Lúcia.
“I’m bored,” she said, cupping her breasts in her hands and reaching up to roll her nipples between her fingers and thumb.
“You’ve got great boobs, though,” said Lúcia.
Emily and Jade turned to Lúcia. Emily nodded.
“It’s true,” said Lúcia. “I feel I am at a disadvantage in the chest department.”
“Lúcia, what’s that on your head?” asked Emily.
“You like?” Lúcia touched a finger to the side of her head. “It’s a do-rag. I fashioned it from a discarded piece of cloth. I believe that is the proper way. Do you think it gives me the look of an honest working woman? A Rosie the Riveter for modern times, perhaps?”
Lúcia held up her right arm and flexed her bicep, pushing up at it with her fingers. “Or is it vain of me to take such an interest in my appearance?”
“I think it suits you,” said Jade.
“Different than your normal habit. I’ll give you that,” said Emily, “But, it’s nice to have some variety. Looks good.”
“Meh,” said Amaliya.
“Pay no attention to her,” said Emily. “She’s—”
“Bored,” answered Amaliya.
“So, Roise the Riveter,” said Jade. “Is she more of an on top, take control kind of gal or is she the type who likes to lie back and let—”
“Captain,” said Lúcia, “Are you suggesting?”
“No, I, um… I don’t know… I was just… Well…”
“Captain?” said Lúcia, “Are you okay?”
“Wanna make out, Lúcia? I’m kind of in the mood for a good…” Jade glanced at Emily and Amaliya. “I mean, if that’s okay with everyone here.”
Emily nodded. Amailya shrugged.
“Definitely okay,” sighed Lúcia.
“By the way. I think your chest is just perfect the way it is.”
“Thank you, captain.” Lúcia blushed.
“Please, call me Jade…” Jade stood up from the pilot’s seat, grinning. “Should I call you Rosie?”
“Lúcia is preferable.”
“Of course.”
Lúcia and Jade departed hand in hand.
“Still bored,” said Amaliya.
“Wanna talk about it?” asked Emily.
“Sure, I guess,” answered Amaliya.
“Does it bother you Lúcia’s wandering off to snog your girlfriend?”
“You know my feelings on that kind of unhealthy possessive behavior.”
“Yeah,” said Emily. “Mind if I rest my head on your boobs while we talk? They’re pretty fabulous.”
“Be my guest.”
“You okay?” said Emily, tapping the center of Amaliya’s chest. “In here? I mean, we all opened up around the campfire, and I feel like… Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just bored.”
“Hm.” Emily traced the outline of Amaliya’s nipple. “If I had boobs like yours, I’d never be bored. I’d never leave the house.”
Amaliya snickered. “You’re just saying that ’cause—”
“‘Cause they’re fabulous.” Emily leaned in and circled a nipple with the tip of her tongue.
“Mmm, slow, honey. I’m ticklish. If you go too fast—”
“What?” Emily flicked back and forth.
Amaliya squirmed. “See what I mean. And totally not fair by the way.”
“Still bored?”
“Would you be offended if I said yes?”
“I don’t know.” Emily peered up. “But your answer might determine my tongue speed. So think carefully.”
Emily flicked back and forth.
Amaliya squirmed. “No.”
“No what?” said Emily.
“No, I’m not bored… I mean, I am, but not of your tongue… Your tongue is nice.”
Emily drew a leisurely circle, keeping her eyes on Amaliya the entire time.
“I like that, too,” said Amaliya.
“Slow?” said Emily.
“The way you look at me when you do it. Keeping your eyes on mine. I’m not sure why, but it’s very sexy.”
“Like this?” Emily extended her tongue to mere millimeters above Amaliya’s nipple, while keeping her eyes locked. She flicked once and withdrew.
“Now you’re teasing.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
“Are you still bored?”
“No.”
“Would you like me to stop?”
“No.”
“This could get out of control.”
Amaliya shifted and shimmied in the copilot’s seat until her jumpsuit was a puddle around her ankles. “It could.”
“I can do other things with my tongue,” said Emily.
“I know,” said Amaliya.
“Would you like me to look into your eyes while I do it?”
“Mmm…” Amaliya slouched lower in her seat.
Emily hooked her fingers in the waistband of Amaliya’s underpants. She kept her eyes locked. “I don’t think I heard an answer.”
“Mmm,” said Amaliya, arching her back. “Mm-hmm.”
“Close enough.” Emily tugged at Amaliya’s underwear.
“Ohh…” said Amaliya.
Emily dipped her head. “You have such a cute pussy.”
“Oh,” said Amaliya.
“Adorable really.” Emily locked her gaze on Amaliya’s. She slid her tongue over her upper lip and leaned forward.
“Oh… Oh my… gahhh…”
In the lounge
“I have not seen these before,” said Lúcia, seated on the edge of the Megacomf sofa. “These…”
“Sex toys,” said Jade, seated beside her.
Lúcia giggled.
“I take it you’ve never…”
“No,” said Lúcia.
“Yes!” Amaliya hollered from the conn. “Oh, my sweet lord, yes! Yes!”
“I believe she has overcome her boredom,” said Lúcia.
“Sounds that way.” Jade pushed the collection of toys aside and moved her hand to cover Lúcia’s. “What are you into, Lúcia? I mean, I know you like to watch. But besides that. Is there anything…?”
“Have you ever tried… slow dancing?”
Jade blinked. “Slow dancing?”
“When I was listening to the playlist Emily made. The slow jams. I could not help but feel the undeniable urge to let my body sway to the music. Even as I am caring for the plants in the garden, I sway. And I have often thought of how good it would be to share in the swaying. I asked Emily about this urge, and she said it is called slow dancing.”
Lúcia fished around in the pocket of her jumpsuit, pulled out a pair of ear buds and a small electronic device. She clipped the device to her sleeve and passed a single ear bud to Jade.
She tapped the screen of the device.
“This is called Unbreak My Heart, by Toni Braxton,” said Lúcia. “It is one of the saddest songs I have ever heard and it conjures such a myriad of heart-wrenching feelings. Love and loss and longing for something so beautiful, that regrettably, can never be whole again. Feelings I would not wish upon anyone… and yet I am conflicted by the way it touches me inside… because, throughout all this emotional turmoil, I cannot deny the urge to sway.”
“She has a beautiful voice,” said Jade.
“I would agree. I believe it is the showcase of her vocal range, together with the minor key composition, that is central to the delivery of such strong emotion.”
“No kidding?” Jade scooted off the edge of the Megacomf and stood with her hand extended. “Lúcia, would you care to join me for a slow dance?”
Lúcia grinned, meeting Jade’s eyes for a moment and looking away just as quickly. “Captain, I would be honored.”
“Should we dim the lights?”
“I think that would be nice.”
“I like you Lúcia.” Jade slipped her arms around Lúcia’s waist.
Lúcia reached up to encircle Jade’s neck and peered into her eyes. “I like you as well.”
“They’re so cute together, don’t you think, Em?” Amaliya was standing in the corridor bordering the lounge, wearing her jumpsuit twisted up as a scarf around her neck and nothing else. She was grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
“I’d ask how long you’ve been standing there,” said Jade, “but—”
“Long enough,” said Emily, whose jumpsuit was nowhere to be seen. “You two are adorable, by the way.”
Lúcia sighed and rested her head on Jade’s shoulder. The couple never stopped swaying.
“We just came for the sex toys,” said Amaliya, holding her finger to her lips. “I promised Emily a proper fucking after those things she did for me in the conn… I mean… Well, the… It was magical.”
“We heard,” said Jade.
Amaliya grinned. “Be out of your way in a jiffy. By the way, which are the clean ones?”
Jade tilted her head toward one end of the Megacomf sofa. “Still in the package,” she said.
Amaliya popped open one end of the box.
“Ooh,” said Emily. “Wow. That’s so—”
“I’ll go slow,” said Amaliya, snatching up the package and clutching it under her arm.
Emily turned and waved over her shoulder. “Okay, you two have fun. Anything you might hear coming out of my mouth, just ignore it. I’ll be fine. Really. We’ll be—”
Lúcia lifted her head from Jade’s shoulder. “You don’t have to go,” she said. “You can stay if you want to. For the comfort of the Megacomf couch, of course.”
Emily and Amaliya looked at each other. Amaliya shrugged. Emily nodded.
Amaliya tore into the packaging in her hands while Emily stretched out on the couch.
“I really don’t know where I’m going to fit all that,” said Emily.
“I’ll be gentle,” said Amaliya.
Jade moved her hand to stroke Lúcia’s back. “Let’s sway this direction,” she said, while turning. “So you have a better view.”
“That is most considerate, captain.”
“Hey, Em?” Jade said. “Before you get stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, you s’pose you could tell me how to pipe the music in Lúcia’s player over the speakers here in the lounge?”
“Sure. You just—”
Lúcia tapped and swiped at the device clipped to her shoulder. The lounge erupted in the sound of Toni Braxton’s silky contralto.
“Never mind. Carry on,” said Jade. “Thanks, Lúcia.”
“De rien.”
“Is that French?”
Lúcia nodded.
“Nice.”
Again Lúcia rested her head on Jade’s shoulder, but kept one eye trained on Emily who was now sprawled out over the Megacomf with Amaliya perched between her knees and grinning wildly.
“I’m really not sure where all that’s going to fit,” said Emily.
“You’ll be fine. Promise.”
“Oh,” said Emily.
Amaliya pressed forward.
“Oh,” Emily repeated.
Jade turned her head, catching Amaliya’s eye. “Still bored, baby?” she asked.
Amaliya shook her head.
“Oh my goodness!” Emily exclaimed. “That. Is. So. So. Good!”
“I love it when you look in my eyes,” Amaliya whispered.
“Oh,” heaved Emily, arching her back. “Oh, my…”
Jade smiled and swayed around to a position that ensured a good view for Lúcia.
Afterword
A bit of a short chapter, without a lot in the way of plot, but hopefully still satisfying. I know the pirates enjoyed it.