Author’s Note
Space pirates. Lesbian space pirates. That’s really all you need to know. Well, that and not a lot of overt sex. Sexiness yes, but story first and no lurid details.
Yo ho ho and all that.
Prologue
Humanity has never been content to stay in one place for very long. We’ve been on the move ever since our ancestors decided to migrate from the cradle of Mother Africa. Over the eons, our journey has taken us across oceans and between the planets of our solar system. And, when the tachyon stream was discovered, the rush began anew.
Once again ships were sailing out, though not on the oceans under the sounds of wind on rippling canvas, but in the silence of great silver sails of metalized polymers, catching the faster than light particles looping and coursing their way around the galaxy’s treasures. Once again humanity was on the move, this time clambering for a new home among the stars.
The reasons were the same as in days of old: new business opportunities, freedom from religious persecution, the desire to build a utopia bigger and better than what was possible within the confines of our little world. Those were the dreams of the entrepreneurs, the idealists, those with the means to construct the ships with their great silver sails.
For the rest of us, we had our dreams too, but not on such a grand scale. We were more content to escape: escape a former lover turned abusive spouse, escape a past felony conviction leading to a lifetime of unemployment, escape a landscape of poverty with no hope on the horizon. We boarded those ships too. Our payment was not collected in cash, but rather as a signature on a contract of indenture.
Tales From the Stream: Dread Pirate Jade
Amaliya
Seven years, they said. Seven years to pay off a contract with domestic service. That number was lowered to five with the addition of a companionship clause.
I signed it—companionship clause and all—knowing full well what that little euphemism spelled out. But, I was promised a female client, and that much the company delivered. Spending weekends with my face planted firmly between her thighs was not an altogether unpleasant way to shave two years off my obligation.
And, it wasn’t abject slavery. Outside my duties of cooking, cleaning and eating pussy, I was free to do what I wanted, go where I wanted, do what I wanted. But on a new planet, in a company town, there’s not a lot of places to go. And even though I had spending money, the prices in the company store were always a little higher than what I had in my pocket.
Taking on additional debt, five years extended into ten. Though by seven, my original client was through with me. I guess she liked a younger, softer tongue lapping at her folds on Saturday night.
*
“You really think anybody’s gonna read this socialist drivel?” said Jade, wheeling herself out from under a dull hunk of metal that still vaguely resembled a six-passenger sub-orbital. She had a smudge of grease on her left cheek and a matching stain on the collar of her mechanic’s coveralls.
“It’s my diary,” Amaliya said. “You said you wanted to hear it.”
“So? I was being nice. Hand me that socket wrench, will ya?”
“So?” Amaliya passed the tool over. “So? People will want to read it someday, to know what this world was like for us. For the common working folk.”
“I’m not gonna read it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Anytime, hon. Could you hand me a 10 millimeter combo first, though?” Jade shot her hand out from under the cover of the old shuttle.
Amaliya passed the requested wrench to Jade. “Anne Frank had a diary. Lots of people read that.”
Jade wheeled herself out into the open again. “Anne Frank was persecuted by a bunch of Aryan assholes. Her story is an example to humanity. ‘Here’s how you fucked up. Don’t do it again.’ Don’t confuse that with your petty problems.”
“I feel persecuted. This indenture. I didn’t sign up for this shit.”
“Technically, you did.” Jade disappeared under the metal hulk.
“I signed up as a domestic for a female client, not some dude with an anal fetish.”
“Well, he bought your contract.” Jade’s voice echoed up from beneath the shuttle. “You knew that could happen.”
Amaliya frowned. “Easy for you to say, you got an apprenticeship.”
“Look on the bright side, hon. I bet his bar on what constitutes good housekeeping is set a bit lower than your lady friend.”
“Yeah, well…I kind of miss her sometimes, you know. We weren’t exactly tight, but—”
“Look, if it’s the pussy you miss, I’ll let you lick mine whenever you want. I won’t even charge.”
Amaliya rolled her eyes. “What are you gonna do with this hunk of scrap if you get it running?”
Jade wheeled out and sat up. “First, you mean when I get her running. And second, I’m gonna christen her The Black Prince and sail the high seas as her captain. Rapin’ and pillaging where e’re I go.”
“It’s a sub-orbital. The only thing you’ll be pillaging is the space elevator terminus. If you get it running.”
“Okay, Miss My-Glass-Is-Half-Empty, when I get to the terminus, I’ll just steal a bigger ship.”
“What are you going to name that one?”
“What?” said Jade.
“The bigger ship.”
“I don’t know. Maybe the Black Prince Two. Or maybe I should save The Black Prince for the big ship. I’ll name this one…I don’t know…”
“How ’bout Pipe Dream?” Amaliya smirked.
“Fuck off.”
“I’m just teasing. You know that, right? I’m happy you’ve got a hobby.” Amaliya began pacing. “Not like me. My hobby is watching your hobby. How sad is that?”
“Pretty fu—”
Amaliya stopped pacing and glared at Jade. “That was a rhetorical question.”
“I’ll let you be my XO,” Jade said.
“Your what?”
“XO. Executive officer. Second in command of The Black Prince. Or the Black Prince Two.”
“Really?”
“Sure. As executive officer, you can lick my pussy whenever you want.”
“The captain’s pussy, you mean?”
“Right. Yeah. The captain’s pussy.”
“Captain what?”
Jade looked at Amaliya sideways.
“A pirate captain needs a cool pirate name.”
“Captain Jade?”
“I’m quaking in my boots.”
“The Dread Captain Jade?”
Amaliya smiled. “I like it.”
“So, your dread captainship, does this shuttle of yours have a bench seat?”
“Yeah, in the back. Why do you—?”
Amaliya held up two fingers and slowly licked between them while batting her eyes. “Permission to come aboard, Captain?”
“Aye?”
The wrench Jade was holding clattered to the floor as Amaliya reached for the top snap on her coverall.
* * *
Six Weeks Later
“It really runs?” said Amaliya. “Like not just hovers around the hanger bay, belching smoke like last time, but—”
“Aye, she flies alright. I took ‘er for a spin last night.”
Amaliya looked Jade over from head to toe and poked her in the shoulder. “Well,” she said. “You’re still alive, so I guess it must be okay, huh?”
“Wanna see for yourself?”
“Um.” Amaliya chewed her lip.
“You’re not scared of flying are you?”
“Um.”
“Look,” Jade said, reaching inside one of the many pockets of her coveralls and producing a small foil pouch, “I got tranqs if that’s what you need. Not the local street stuff, the good interstellar variety.”
“Where did you get—?”
Jade fixed her eyes on the pouch. “The label says it tastes like hazelnut.”
“I’m sure it’s…where the hell d’you get tranqs, anyway?”
“Doesn’t matter,” said Jade, holding the packet up and shaking it side to side. “You gonna be the first mate on The Black Prince or are ye gonna be a land lubber for the rest of your life?”
“Pssh. You need to lay off the pirate dialect.”
“And you need to get out and live a little.”
“Okay. Okay, fine. I’ll go flying with you.”
“Great.” Jade pinched the top of the foil packet between her finger and thumb.
“Save it,” said Amaliya. “I’m a pirate captain’s first mate. I’ll be fine.”
Jade started to slip the foil packet back in her coveralls as she shot Amaliya a sideways glance.
“Really, I’ll be fine.”
“Here, you hang onto this.” Jade held the packet out. “You’re not allowed to puke on the upholstery, executive officer or not.”
Amaliya grinned, snatched the packet, laid a peck on Jade’s cheek, and ducked through the hatchway. “Let’s go cap’n. Before I chicken out.”
* * *
Space Elevator Diez, Orbital Terminus
“Miss? Another one over here.” A smartly dress woman dangled a paper cup in the air. “I’ve been empty for nearly five minutes.”
“Me?” Amaliya touched her finger to her chest.
“Yes,” said the woman, seated cross-legged at the cafe table in front of the Starchild Coffee storefront. “You are a domestic, are you not?”
“No. Yes. But, not—”
“Look, I don’t care if it’s your shift or not. Le garçon has gone AWOL and I’m empty. So how about you hustle yourself over to the barista and fetch me another latte?” The woman held her empty cup by the rim and shook it.
“Of course, ma’am.” Amaliya took the empty cup, bit her lip, and turned toward the storefront.
Jade stood by with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face while Amaliya marched toward the counter.
“Your coffee ma’am,” said Amaliya a minute later. “It won’t be charged to your tab. Due to the considerable inconvenience you were forced to endure.”
A few feet away, Jade rolled her eyes.
The woman removed the lid, gave a small harrumph as the steam rose, and turned her nose toward the ceiling. Amaliya spun on her heel.
“Hey, while you’re at it,” Jade said, “I could really go for a cappuccino.”
Amaliya answered with an elbow to Jade’s ribs and strode off down the long, brightly lit corridor.
“So which one of these ships are we going to steal?” Jade said as she caught up. “Let’s find the docking assignments board and look it over.”
“How about latte lady’s? It’s called The Grand Allusion. I saw it listed on her tab.” Amaliya crumpled a foil packet in her hand and tossed it in a nearby recycler chute.
“Is that hazelnut I smell?” Jade made a show of sniffing at the air. “Did you just—?”
“She deserved it. Bitch.”
Jade grinned. “And that name. Grand Allusion. That poor ship really needs us to rescue it from that stupid name, don’t you think?”
“Yeah.” Amaliya stopped and stared at her boots for a moment.
“Look if you don’t want to go through—”
“No. no. It’s—”
Jade put her hand on Amaliya’s shoulder. “I’m just saying, all we’ve done is slipped a mickey to some crotchety old broad. We can just walk back to the shuttle, act casual, and—”
“No.” Amaliya looked Jade directly in the eyes. “No. It’s now or never. If I go slinking back planetside now, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“You sure? There’s no do-overs after this.”
“Cap’n Jade… Dread Captain Jade… First Officer Amaliya reporting for duty.”
“That’s the spirit.”
* * *
Leaving Port
“Oh…my…gawd…” Jade huffed as she leaned against the interior hull of the Grand Allusion. “I can’t believe they just turned over the codes like that.”
“You were very convincing. Radiation leak. I like that.”
“An oldie, but a goody.”
“Bourgeois pigs. Always happy to let the working class clean up their messes.” Amaliya’s lip curled as she said it.
“Nobody likes radiation, hon. Too bad they couldn’t contact the owner to confirm its validity.”
“I wonder where she’s sleeping it off?” Amaliya said as she surveyed the ships interior.
Jade shrugged. “Who cares. Ready to release the docking clamps, XO?”
“Aye.” Amaliya said. “Um. Where’s the docking clamps, Cap’n?”
Jade pointed left. “Fore,” she said.
“We’re golfing now? I thought we were stealing a ship.”
Jade rolled her eyes. “Fore,” she said pointing left. “And aft,” she said, pointing right. “The conn is fore. That’s where you’ll find the docking clamp release.”
“Aye Cap’n!” Amaliya turned and scampered off, magnetic boots clicking on the deck.
Jade rolled her eyes again while she sealed the hatch.
“What’s it look like?” Amaliya hollered.
“Fuck if I know. Probably red. Like a real button, not a touch screen.” Jade grinned and took off down the short corridor. She scanned the panel where Amaliya was standing. “I always worked on the little… There it is. Emergency release. That one.”
Amaliya positioned her finger over the red button where Jade pointed. Jade nodded.
Amaliya chewed her lip for a moment and then mashed her finger down. The ship lurched.
“Strap in.” Jade pointed to one of the two seats. “I’m gonna put some distance between us and the terminus. While I’m doing that, look for the squawk box.”
“‘Scuse me Cap’n. The what?”
“A panel labeled transponder.”
“Okay. What’s that do?”
“Tells the authorities and everybody else where we are.”
“Well, that’s not good.”
The ship’s radio blared. “Grand Allusion, this is Tower. We’ve detected a docking clamp release.”
“No shit.” Jade mumbled, looking first at the radio then Amaliya. “Find that transponder. And when you find it, pry it out and smash it.”
“Aye, Cap’n!” Amaliya smiled with tight lips. “Smashing the machinery of the oppressors,” she muttered while scanning the various control surfaces.
“Grand Allusion, this is Tower. Please respond.”
“Don’t get too excited there, Che Guevara.” Jade pointed at the radio. “We’re not in the clear just yet.”
“Oh, I know. I was just thinking. I should write this down in my diary. I bet people will want to read it now.”
“Transponder first, then diary.” Jade held up a finger and picked up a radio headset.
“Tower, this is flight services on board Grand Allusion. Sorry for the delay.” Jade held the headset mic close. “We have a radiation leak and are putting some distance between us and the terminus while we lock it down. Per, uh, safety protocol.”
Amaliya slipped out of her magnetic boots, pulled the zipper of her jumpsuit down and shimmied out of it. She began humming a tune.
Jade leered at her, her brow knit.
“Flight Services Grand Allusion, protocol dictates filing a—,” the radio erupted.
Jade clutched the microphone between her finger and thumb. “Look, this is a very dangerous situation here. I’m sure you’ll agree protocol—”
Floating weightless in her underwear, Amaliya hooked her foot under the arm of the captain’s chair and reached around to unfasten her bra.
“Flight Services, Tower. What’s your ID number?”
Amaliya rolled her nipples between her fingers while staring at Jade.
“Uh oh. Big spike in radiation here, Tower. Gotta go.” Jade let go of the mic and left it to float in the air in front of her.
“You ever do it in zero gravity?” Amaliya asked.
“Flight Services, Grand Allusion, this is Tower. Please—”
Jade flicked the headset with her finger and reached over to the radio, twisting the knob to off.
“Transponder first,” Jade grumbled while suppressing a grin.
Amaliya licked the end of her finger and circled her right nipple. “Yes, Cap’n.”
* * *
First Time Jitters?
“Was that your first time in zero-G?” Amaliya asked, kissing Jade on the tip of her nose.
“First time…” said Jade.
“That’s so sweet. I’m glad it was with me. I’ve never done zero-G either.”
“No. First time. Just first time… with um… Except that one time in the shuttle, planetside. But, I didn’t know if that counted since you did all the work and I just babbled and drooled on myself.”
“Oh baby,” Amaliya wrapped her arms around Jade, squeezing her to her chest. “I feel like I should have made you dinner first.”
“It was perfect.” Jade caught Amaliya’s eye and quickly looked away. “You were perfect. Was I… Did you—?”
“Come here, you.” Amaliya took Jade’s chin in her hand, looking her square in the face. “It’s really been six weeks since you got laid?”
Jade nodded and lowered her eyes.
“As captain of The Black Prince, you can lick the XO’s pussy any time you like. Captain’s privilege.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” Amaliya grinned. “You want me to sign something in blood or is my word as a pirate’s first mate enough for you?”
Jade looked away again.
“Thanks for helping me find the transponder. I swear I’d been over that part of the console three times.”
“It’s okay. You’re new to the whole ship’s mechanic thing.”
“And you’re new to the whole licking pussy thing.” Amaliya tapped Jade on the nose. “It’s so cute. It’s serendipity, really.”
“You should have quit while you were ahead.”
“Yes, Cap’n.” Amaliya pushed out her lower lip.
“Come here, you.” Jade’s sudden out-thrusting of her arms to take Amaliya in an embrace caused their floating body’s to tumble into the curving outer hull. Bare skin squeaking and sticking against the viewport was the only thing stopping their freefall.
“Look at all those stars,” Amaliya said, slipping her arm around Jade’s waist as the two faced the viewport. “They seem so much more… I don’t know… real?”
“See that one?” Jade pointed. “That’s Sirius, the dog star. It’s one of the brightest on Earth. Not so much from here though.”
“Do you ever miss Earth?”
“Pssh, no.”
“Me neither.” Amaliya rested her head on Jade’s shoulder. “You gonna miss Kepler?”
“I’ve always felt like I belonged out here in the stars. That’s why I ventured out here in the first place. So no, probably not.”
“That’s good. Because the only way we’re going back is on a prison bus.”
“Having second thoughts, XO?”
“No. No. I don’t know.” Amaliya sighed. “Too late to change my mind anyway. But, I mean, eventually they’ll come after us, right?”
“Radiation’s a dangerous thing.” Jade turned to Amaliya. “Listen, if it comes to that, you could say I kidnapped you. Forced you to come along.”
“And let you take the blame? No. That’s not right. We’re in this together. Pirate blood in our veins.”
“Aye?”
“Aye, Cap’n.”
Jade leaned in and whispered. “Do you think maybe we should do it again? You know. Might help take you mind off of—”
“Is that an order, Captain?” Amaliya husked.
“Uhh…”
Extending her tongue, Amaliya painted a slippery trail from Jade’s collarbone to her earlobe.
“Um, I’ll leave that for you to decide, XO.”
“Mmm. Yes, Captain!”
* * *
“Oh, gawd! Three times in…” Amaliya made a show of looking at her wrist and pretending to tap a watch. “I don’t know how long, but damn if you’re not the most enthusiastic pirate captain I’ve ever met.”
“The only pirate captain you’ve ever met,” Jade said. “And it’s your fault really. I was just big talk and bluster until the back seat of the shuttle. But now… Now that I’ve had a taste…”
“Your first officer’s not going to get any rest. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Something like that.” Jade nuzzled up against Amaliya’s neck and sighed. “I s’posse we should take five so I can check on the reactor, though. Just in case.”
“Reactor.” Amaliya chuckled. “On a light-sail ship. You don’t have to bullshit me captain. If I’ve worn you out, just say so.”
“No. Well, yes.” Jade chewed her lip. “I could probably go again. But then I’d need a nap. And I really should check on the—”
“Reactor? There’s a leaky reactor on this ship? You just made that up so we could steal it, right?” Amaliya straightened up and lowered her voice. “‘It’s a hazardous situation, sir, but if you step aside, we’ll have it fixed up in a jiffy.’ Remember that?”
“It’s just a small one.”
“The leak, the reactor, or your white lie?”
“Yes,” said Jade. “Um, both. I mean, the first two.”
“Who’s the genius that decided installing a big ball of cancer causing material on a ship was a good idea? It’s a sailing ship.”
“It’s just a little one.”
“Pssh. What’s a little cancer, then?”
“Are you chilly?”
“What?” Amaliya said. “No. Why?”
“And you can see?”
“Of course I can. What’s—?”
“That’s why there’s a reactor, sweety.” Jade said.
“Don’t patronize me. I’ll forgive you this time because your after sex glow is so cute.” Amaliya touched a finger to Jade’s cheek.
“Okay, look,” Jade said, “the sails are great for catching solar winds and the tachyons in the stream, but the heat, the lights, even the maneuvering thrusters, that’s all powered by the reactor.”
“The one that’s leaking?”
“Only a little. Your last dental x-ray is probably more likely to—”
“Am I going to grow two heads?”
Jade sighed. “I guess we’re not going to go for a fourth time, then?”
Amaliya gripped Jade by the shoulders and pushed. Their bodies tumbled in opposite directions. She pointed toward the door. “Go fix the reactor. No more sex ’til it’s done.”
“Arrgh,” Jade grumbled. “Ain’t even been a pirate captain for a full day and already I got a mutiny on me hands.”
“Go!” commanded Amaliya.
“Fine.” Jade kicked out against the bulkhead with one foot and propelled herself through the doorway. “Go see if you can find the gravity controls,” she hollered. “But wait ’til I’m back before you turn anything on.”
Tight-lipped, Amaliya pointed to the hatchway.
* * *
Adventure Awaits
“I found the gravity controls.” Amaliya, now clad in a chef’s coat and panties, tapped the co-pilot’s console and swiped across the screen with one finger. With her other hand, she thrust out a granola bar. “Found the emergency rations, too.”
“You’re gonna want to strap in before you switch that on,” Jade said. “And nice outfit, baby.”
Amaliya flashed a smile and moved her finger toward the control surface.
“Trust me. Strap in.”
Amaliya shrugged and buckled herself into the copilot’s seat. Jade buckled herself in as well.
“Alright, XO, let’s have some gravity.”
“Aye, Cap’n!” Amaliya swiped to lift the covers on two virtual toggle switches. She tapped one in the ‘on’ position and nudged the other toward ‘start’.”
There was a loud hissing and the ship groaned along its entire length. Amaliya was thrown toward the right of her seat while Jade gripped the armrests and grinned.
“What the fuck?” The color drained from Amaliya’s face. “Captain Jade?”
Jade laughed.
“It’s not funny. Did I break the ship? Did you just sit there and watch me break the ship?”
“It’ll settle down in a bit. There’s a lot of inertia to overcome at the start of the spin.”
“Spin?” Amaliya paused. “Oh, spin! That’s how—”
“That’s how the artificial gravity works. Centrifugal force.” Jade held a finger up and whirled it around. “Ship spins around the long axis. The walls become floors—”
“Yeah, yeah, I took science class. So that’s why the ships are always round tubes.”
“Yep.”
“Hmm.”
“Why? What’d you think it was?”
“I always figured it was a phallic thing. Like the guys designing them had insecurities about their… you know. And so they’d design these long tube things and dream about… I don’t know, I just figured it was a giant space dick.”
Jade laughed again. “Baby, I am so glad you agreed to come along on this adventure. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Amaliya looked at Jade for a moment, bit her lip, and looked away. “It feels like it’s calming down. Less noisy anyway.”
“Thrusters are off. Inertia will keep us spinning unless we do any hard maneuvers. Which we shouldn’t have to do. We’re on a petty good course for the stream.”
“Then what?”
“Then we deploy the sails, catch some tachyons, and get as far away from the authorities as we can. But it’ll be a couple days before we’re in position.”
“Good. Gettin’ away from The Man. Then maybe you can help me with the galley controls. It wants an access code.”
“Access code?” Jade frowned.
“That’s what it said on the panel. Is that not normal?”
“I think it means the lady whose latte you tranq’d up obviously didn’t trust her crew not to keep their hands out of the cookie jar. What a piece of work.”
“Makes you feel like we stole the right person’s ship, doesn’t it? Kind of like fate.”
Jade reached out and traced the line of buttons on Amaliya’s chef’s coat. “Yeah. Yeah, it does. But it also means we’re going to be eating granola bars until we figure out how to crack it.”
Amaliya looked at the granola bar in her hand, shrugged, and took another bite.
* * *
Afterword
The whole idea for this story started from the suggestion of bringing back indentured servitude for Mars colonists, that made recent headlines. I’m not exactly sure where it’s headed. I’m thinking little episodes in an overreaching arc of Jade and Amaliya’s journey. No cliffhanger endings. Just good fun… In space.
If you’re a writer (or want to be) and want to join in, here’s your backdrop: just think 18th century sailing applied to 22nd century technology. Let the prologue and Amaliya’s diary be your guide to the backstory, and go! And, of course, post it here on Lit so we can all read it. Just leave off the chapter number so as not to confuse people reading.