Author’s Note
Space pirates. Lesbian space pirates. That’s really all you need to know. Well, that and not a lot of overt sex. Sexiness yes, but story first and no lurid details.
This is a loosely connected series. Starting with chapter one will help avoid confusion.
Chapter 7: Brick House
The Black Prince Galley
Emily and Jade huddled around the small table, drinking instant coffee and gesturing in the air around a holographic representation of the ship’s exterior floating above. Jade made a sweeping motion and the image zoomed onto the words, ‘Grand Allusion’.
Emily rubbed her hand over the words and they disappeared. “Do we have any piratey fonts?” she asked.
From outside the door and down the corridor, Lúcia’s voice burst forth with a single word, “Brick!”
Jade chewed her lip. “What constitutes a piratey font, exactly?”
“I dunno. Something awe inspiring. With a touch of the old world flare.”
“Let’s see,” said Jade, tapping at the tablet projecting the image. “Uh, there’s one called Scallywag.”
“What is a scallywag, anyway? Does anybody know?”
“House!” came Lúcia’s voice again, echoing throughout the ship.
“Here,” Jade tapped at the tablet screen and flicked her finger over it. The area of the hologram that had once read Grand Allusion, was now displaying, ‘The Black Prince’ in Scallywag font.
“Meh,” said Emily.
“Meh? That’s it. Meh?”
Emily shrugged. “What else is there?”
“How about Skulls ‘n’ Bones? Sounds sufficiently piratey.” Jade flicked her finger across the screen.
“Nah,” they both said in unison while shaking their heads.
“Aw, brick!” intoned Lúcia in the distance.
“Ooh, Jolly Roger,” said Jade. “That sounds nice.”
The hologram of the ship’s hull was painted with ‘The Black Prince’ in Jolly Rodger font.
“Hmm.” Emily pursed her lips. “Yeah, I think I could live with that.”
“We need to get everyone’s input before we decide.”
“Of course.”
Another “Brick!” rang out. And a moment later, it was followed with an equally enthusiastic, “House!”
“What the fuck is that girl doing?” huffed Emily.
“Tending to her plants,” said Jade. “Singing to them, I’d venture.”
“Yeah, but what?”
“Aw, brick!” came Lúcia’s voice again, at top volume.
Jade shrugged. “Something about a brick.”
“Shouldn’t we find out? I mean, suppose she’s actually dropping bricks on them. The plants. One by one, extinguishing the life of each fragile little sprout as she sings some sort of funeral dirge. We don’t know what she got up to in that nunnery. Maybe she was the black sheep of the family and that’s why they let her go so easily.”
“Doesn’t really seem to be her style. And I can’t think of any funeral dirge with the word brick in it.”
Emily shrugged. “I don’t think I can come up with the words to any funeral dirges. Do they have words? Or is it just all dirge.”
“House!” echoed down the corridor.
“And what about the house part? Dropping bricks on plants doesn’t really fit with—”
“Aw, brick!”
“Let’s go,” said Jade. The two women stood up simultaneously, leaving their still warm coffee on the table under the hologram of the ship with ‘The Black Prince’ displayed in Jolly Roger font.
Amidship
Emily and Jade stood just outside the crew cabin that had been converted into a garden. With the interior illuminated by lights bordering on the ultra-violet end of the spectrum, it gave an eerie glow that spilled into the corridor.
Inside, Lúcia, wearing red-tinted, wrap-around sunglasses, was swaying her hips while moving from plant to plant with a water spritzer. “Brick!” she shouted, spraying a sprout. And a moment later, “House!” while spraying the next one.
“At least she’s not dropping bricks,” said Emily.
Jade entered the room, packed wall to wall with tiny plants. “Lúcia?”
No answer.
“Lúcia?” Jade stepped around into Lúcia’s field of vision and waved her hand.
Lúcia popped out an earbud. “Hi.”
“What are you doing?”
“Watering plants.”
“I mean the singing. What are you singing? Are you singing?”
“It is Brick House,” Lúcia said.
Jade scratched the back of her neck and stared.
“Have you not heard of Brick House? The Commodores?”
Jade and Emily shook their heads.
“It is a most glorious and energetic exaltation of the full-figured female physique.” Lúcia pulled out her other earbud, handing one to Jade and the other to Emily. She tapped a small device clipped to the sleeve of her jumpsuit.
“Oh, this is good,” said Jade. “Nice groove.”
“I’m digging the bassline,” said Emily.
“Ooh, and a horn section,” said Jade. “Sweet.”
Emily was bopping her head to he beat. “Brick House, huh? Where did you find this?”
“Marie-Anne said it was one of her favorites.”
“You and the robot exchanged playlists back on Nouveau Paris, did you?” Emily raised an eyebrow as she asked.
“No, she sent it in an email. And she prefers Artificial Lifeform.”
“Really?” said Jade. “I didn’t know automatons… um, artificial lifeforms knew how to get their groove on like that. This is epic.”
“I will let her know of your approval when I write to her again.”
Jade and Emily passed their individual earbuds back to Lúcia.
“So is she like your girlfriend or something?” Emily asked. “She make you a mix tape?
“We are…” Lúcia tapped her finger against her lower lip. “I think the term is pen pals.”
“Hm,” said Jade. “I have to say, I did not see that one coming.”
“We discuss many things. Most recently it is the funk. And how to properly get down. Though there are times when we are urged to get on up, like by the James Brown.”
Jade and Emily traded glances.
“We also often discuss the tenets of the world’s major religions and how they have been adapted over the years to fit within the new confines of a modern spacefaring society like ours.”
“No shit,” said Jade, stroking her chin.
“Hey, when you’re done spritzing, we’re having a vote on a new font for the ship’s name on the hull,” said Emily. “Wander down to the galley and check ‘er out.”
“I have several plants that still need tending.” Lúcia made a sweeping gesture toward the aft side of the cabin.
“I can spritz with the best of ’em,” said Emily.
Lúcia picked up another spritzer and handed it to Emily along with a pair of red-tinted glasses. “You can spray the high ones. I sometimes have trouble reaching,” she said.
“Deal.”
Lúcia held a single ear bud in her outstretched hand. “Do you wish to get down while we spritz?”
“Of course.”
Emily inserted the single earbud. The two women sashayed along the walls of the cabin in exaggerated, tandem movements. Their hips swayed as they showered each tiny sprout with mist. Lúcia did a twirl as she reached the corner of the cabin. And occasionally, in chorus, they would shout, “Brick!” followed by a very enthusiastic, “House!”
“I’m headed to the conn to fetch Amaliya,” said Jade, smirking. “Be a shame if she missed out on the whole Brick House thing.”
Lúcia and Emily had their hands above their heads and were bashing their hips together as they spritzed and sang.
“I like you Lúcia, you’re fun,” Emily said, as Jade was leaving the room.
“Aw, Brick!”
Just outside the conn
“Hey, girlfriend,” Jade said, leaning against the doorway that separated the pilot’s area from the rest of the ship. “How’s things?”
“Mmm, I like that,” said Amaliya. “Say it again.”
“Which part?”
Amaliya narrowed her eyes. “You know which part.”
Jade grinned. “Girlfriend?”
“Mmm.”
“Girlfriend,” Jade repeated in a whisper.
“Yes?” Amaliya leaned back in the pilot’s seat, stretching her arms over her head, and swiveling to face Jade.
“Hey… Girlfriend.”
Amaliya moved her right hand to the zipper on her jumpsuit. “Keep going.”
Jade stepped across the threshold into the conn. She tapped the door button and it slid closed behind her.
“Girlfriend.”
Amaliya began the long, slow process of unzipping.
“Oh, Girlfriend.” Jade leveled her gaze on Amaliya’s nipples poking through the thin fabric of her undershirt.
“You like?” Amaliya reached to knock a sleeve off one shoulder.
“Girlfriend,” said Jade.
Amaliya slid her hands over her undershirt and cupped her breasts while grinning at Jade. “Come ‘ere you.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Girlfriend,” said Amaliya.
“Right. Yes… Girlfriend.”
“That’s better.” Amaliya wove the fingers of her right hand into Jade’s hair and pressed firmly on the back of her head.
“Mmmph.”
“Say it.”
“Giwlfwiend,” came Jade’s muffled reply from deep within the valley of Amaliya’s breasts. “Ohh… Giwlfwiend.”
“Yes, baby, that’s it.” Amaliya snaked her left hand down to tug at the hem of her undershirt. “Just, let your girlfriend take care of you.”
“Mmwmph,” came Jade’s muffled reply.
“Yes, baby. Just like that.”
“Bwick.”
“What?” Amaliya sat up straight, pushing Jade away. “Oh, hell no. What did you just call me?”
“What?” said Jade, blinking. “What did I—?”
“I don’t know, you tell me. Something with a B. And it better not be what I think you just said.”
“What? Oh,” said Jade. “Oh. Brick?”
Amaliya stared.
“You know, like Brick House. The Commodores?”
“That’s what Lúcia’s been going on about all this time? Brick?”
“You could hear that? All the way down here?”
“I’m pretty sure half the galaxy heard it,” Amaliya said.
“In space, no one can hear you sing.”
“That was supposed to be singing? I thought… I guess I thought…”
“What?” asked Jade.
“I thought she was shouting curse words. At her plants.”
“Swearing? What, to motivate them to grow faster?”
“Yeah,” said Amaliya. “No. I don’t know. Maybe she never got to curse around all those nuns, so now she’s getting it out of her system all at once.”
“By swearing at her plants?”
“Well, that’s what it sounded like up here.”
“I suppose…” Jade chewed her lip. “I can see how it might sound like…”
“Baby, I’m sorry,” said Amaliya. “I overreacted.”
“Nah, I should have…”
Jade and Emily stared into each other’s eyes.
“Nothing says ‘I’m sorry’ like…” Jade moved her gaze to leer at Amaliya’s wide open zipper and the flesh of her tummy exposed by her undershirt riding high above her waist. “You know.”
“Come ‘ere, you.” Amaliya shrugged off the remaining sleeve of her jumpsuit and tugged her undershirt over her head.
“Giwlfwiend,” Jade muttered as Amaliya pressed her in tight.
“That’s right, baby.” Amaliya circled her own right nipple with her index finger. Her flesh began to crinkle. “Don’t forget this one when you’re done over there.”
“Giwlfwiend.”
“Yes, baby.”
“Mmm.”
Amaliya cupped her right breast and nudged the back of Jade’s head with her free hand. “So, um, what’s this brick house thing anyway?”
“Mmm.”
“Baby?”
“Oh,” said Jade peering up. “Um, it’s a song about womanly curves. Gals with ample… um, assets.”
“A whole song?”
“Mm-hmm.” Jade dipped her head again.
“I think I could get into that.”
“Giwlfwiend.”
“Don’t forget this one over here, baby.” Amaliya nudged the back of Jade’s head. “She’s getting cold. See how cold she is?”
“Mmmwph.”
“Do you think I’m a brick house, baby?”
“Mmmwph.”
Gathered around the galley table
“Okay, so that’s a no on changing the ship’s name to Brick House,” Jade said. “Sorry, Lúcia, but a simple majority’s not enough. We have to all be in agreement.”
Lúcia nodded. “Perhaps the garden room, then?”
“Sure,” said Jade. “I’ll second that. All those in favor?”
Hands went up around the table. Jade let out an audible sigh as Amaliya’s hand went up, moving her eyes from the sleeves of Amaliya’s jumpsuit that were tied around her waist, to the centimeters of bare skin as her undershirt rode up, and finally to the twin bumps of her nipples poking through.
“Um… Um… Okay. Brick House Gardens it is then,” said Jade.
Amaliya lowered her hand. Jade sighed again. Amaliya stretched again, with her hands behind her head this time, and leaned back in her chair.
“Um… Um… About the font,” said Jade, prying her gaze from Amaliya’s midriff to Emily and then Lúcia. “We have Scallywag…”
The holographic image of the ship’s exterior zoomed to the hull markings with ‘The Black Prince’ displayed in Scallywag font.
“Meh,” was the chorus around the table.
“So that’s pretty much a no on Scallywag.” Jade tapped at the tablet that was displaying the image. “Next up is—”
“What is a scallywag, anyway?” asked Amaliya.
Jade shrugged. Emily and Lúcia followed.
“Another word for shitty font, I guess,” offered Jade. “Next up is Skulls ‘n’ Bones.”
“Better,” said Lúcia, “but lacking a certain… je ne sais quoi.”
“Is that French?” asked Amaliya. “It sounds French.”
“I learned it from Marie-Anne.”
“Marie-Anne.” Amaliya cocked her head. “The robot?”
“Artificial lifeform,” erupted Jade, Emily and Lúcia all at once.
“They’re pen pals,” said Jade.
“Hm,” said Amaliya. “I did not see that coming.”
Jade shrugged. “So, unless there’s any other business to attend to, can we get back to fonts?”
Jade looked at each of the crew. There were nods from all. Amaliya blew a kiss.
“Um, okay… Uh, this one’s called Jolly Roger.”
“Ahh,” was the consensus from around the table.
“All those in favor?” said Jade.
The four women raised their hands simultaneously. Again, Jade sighed as Amaliya’s undershirt rode up. No one said anything for a while.
“Okay, next question on the table,” said Jade.
The crew began to grumble. Amaliya drew a lazy circle around the outline of her left nipple with her index finger.
“Um… Uhh… Last one, I promise.” Jade stared at Amaliya’s chest for a moment before turning to each of the three faces around her. “Who wants to spacewalk with me to paint this baby on the hull?”
Jade survey the faces of the crew again. “Anybody? Come on. Who here’s been on a spacewalk? Huh? Nobody, I bet.”
“I think I am mildly agoraphobic,” said Lúcia.
“After the way you lost your lunch on Nouveau Paris, hon, I would say mildly might not quite be the word you’re looking for,” said Jade. “But that’s okay, spacewalking’s not for everybody. We all have different skills and backgrounds. We complement each other. We’re a team. That’s what counts.”
Emily sat with her hands in her lap, looking at the surface of the table.
“Em?” said Jade. “Shall I take that as a no?”
Emily shrugged. “Maybe next time?”
“Fuck it,” said Amaliya, “I’ll go.”
“Really?”
“Sure.” Amaliya licked the tip of her finger and smirked as she showed it to Jade. “I’m feeling adventurous.”
“You ever do anything like—”
“No. Have you?”
“Point taken.” Jade fixated on where Amaliya was dragging her recently moistened finger down over her throat. “So, um…”
“Oh, would you two just go somewhere and fuck already,” said Emily, rising from her seat. “Lúcia and I will be in the garden.”
“The Brick House Garden.” Lúcia grinned.
“I like you, Lúcia.” Emily leaned in to kiss Lúcia on the cheek. “You’re fun.”
Emily and Lúcia strode out into the corridor wearing matching red-tinted glasses. Amaliya and Jade looked at each other.
“Do you—?” Jade started.
“Aw, brick!” shouted Emily from down near amidship.
“I um—” That was all Amaliya managed to say before Lúcia answered with, “House!”
“Right,” said Jade. Standing up and clearing the holographic tablet from the table, she marched over to Amaliya’s side of the table.
“Oh, Captain,” said Amaliya, turning to Jade.
“Girlfriend.”
“Captain Girlfriend.” Amaliya threw her head back, her hair spilling over the galley table.
Jade placed a hand on the back of each of Amaliya’s thighs, lifting her, and lifted her onto the table. “Whatever is fine with me, baby.”
“I have an exciting announcement,” Amaliya said, wandering into the lounge in only a pair of panties and a stretched out undershirt. Jade tagged along behind, wearing boy shorts, a T-shirt, and a cheese-eating grin.
“And I as well,” said Lúcia, entering from the aft corridor. Behind her, Emily nodded.
“You first,” said Amaliya.
“No, you,” said Lúcia.
“You sure?”
Lúcia nodded. “I insist.”
“It’s official. I’m a brick house.” Amaliya grinned from ear to ear. “Captain Jade decreed it while we were… You know…” Amaliya extended the first and second fingers of each hand in a scissor-like gesture and proceeded to rub them together.
“I hope you scrubbed the galley table after you were done…” Emily repeated Amaliya’s earlier finger gesture. “You know…”
“They don’t seem that impressed,” said Jade.
“I believe Sister Jane is also a brick house,” said Lúcia. “Now that I think about it, I am sure of it.”
The three women turned to Lúcia.
Emily was the first to speak. “I thought… Well, I was kind of hoping I was your brick house.”
Lúcia touched her finger to the tip of Emily’s nose. “Ah, but you are three times a lady, my sweet.”
Emily heaved a sigh.
“Wait,” said Amaliya, pointing her finger at Emily and then Lúcia. “Wait just a minute… Did you two… In the garden did you… Are you two riding the hobby horse?”
“I continue to honor my vows,” said Lúcia.
Emily nodded.
“But Emily is a very enthusiastic kisser. Particularly when there is a musical accompaniment.”
“Sweet lady kisses,” sighed Emily.
“Emily has introduced me to the slow jam. It is less energetic than the funk, but still most satisfying, on a deeper, emotional level. It explores love and wanting along with pain and regret, all within the confines of a soothing, downtempo beat.”
“And it’s great for making out.”
Lúcia nodded. “I got a love jones.”
“Umm…” Amaliya said. “You said you had an announcement? Or was that it, your discovery of Barry White?”
“No, there is more.” Lúcia turned to Emily. “Do you wish to tell them my sweet lady?”
Emily shook her head. “You found it.”
“What?” said Amaliya. “You found what? Love and devotion underpinned by a slow, soulful grove?”
“A strawberry,” said Lúcia. “We have a baby strawberry growing in our garden.”
“That is so cool,” said Jade.
“It is tiny and still green, but it is looking very healthy,” said Lúcia.
Beside her, Emily nodded.
“Well, aren’t you two just the proud parents,” said Jade. “I think this calls for a group hug. Come on. All hands on deck. Group hug for the baby strawberry.”
“What shall we name it?” asked Emily.
“You don’t name your food, honey,” said Jade. “How could you eat something with a name. Tonight’s dinner starts with baby spinach drizzled with a lovely Reginald vinaigrette. Nope. Can’t do it.”
“Perhaps Brick House?” suggested Lúcia. “We could name it after the—”
“No!” came the chorus of voices.
Afterword
Until next time, my piratey friends, hang onto those you love and stay funky.