Disclaimer: In case it is not clearly stated in the narrative, everyone in this chapter engaging in anything approaching or including sexual activity is at least 18 years of age. (Although this particular chapter hasn’t gotten around to any actual sex yet. Be patient.)
Note: This is written in British/South African English, although almost all similar media I consume is American, so that will have its influence too. For the sake of keeping the note short, I’ll post a comment to explain my use of language and obscure terms, if anyone asks or I think of something in particular.
* * * * *
Eric closed the door of his bedroom, and then led us further into the depths of the house. I couldn’t even say whether there were more doors than there were in the other corridors, or fewer, or indeed details like whether they were open or not. At that point, if Eric had quickly slipped around a pillar, I probably would have walked right into it. I’d only had a few drinks at that point — the pre-drinks and a couple of beers — but it was enough to turn off that voice in my head that worried about if the way I was standing at a party was weird, or if that thing I had said five minutes ago made people think I was awful.
Unfortunately, that voice also seemed to be the one that always told me to not form crushes on cute guys. So while I wasn’t drunk, I was following him in a complete daze that I hadn’t quite managed to protect myself from falling into. I only managed to partially snap out of it when we reached a set of stairs, and he began to lead the way up — but having his ass at eye-level wasn’t exactly helpful, and neither was watching the way his jeans pulled taut against his thighs and calves as he climbed the stairs.
We made our way out to a balcony once we’d reached the top of the stairs, and I knew we’d entered the lair of the ‘cool kids’ Eric had talked about. Three of them looked as if they’d been dressed for the party, but two of the guys there were just in T-shirts and jeans, like Eric, and a girl with red hair was wearing a beachy blue dress. They all sat around on a mishmash of outdoor furniture, including some fold-out fabric camping chairs.
“Finally! How long does it take to get one stupid bottle of gin?” The girl who was dressed for the party — a tall girl with tight blonde curls, wearing a black cocktail dress — snapped her fingers at Eric, and held out her hand.
Eric, smiling, handed her the bottle. She grinned back.
“You can always go party downstairs, Jess.”
“With the Bible-bashers? No thanks.” She turned to look appraisingly at me.
“This is Jay.” Eric grinned, clapping me on the shoulder. “He goes to school with Caitlyn. At Elohim.”
“Oh,” She looked vaguely embarrassed, and gave me a small smile and a shrug. “Sorry.”
“Hey Jay.” One of the t-shirt guys shifted in his camp chair. It was Louis, much to my surprise. It was very strange, seeing him outside of AP maths. I’d been half convinced he didn’t exist outside of those classes. He looked very different, lounging casually with his friends, a drink in his hand. He could have been someone else completely.
“Hey, Louis!” It suddenly occurred to me that Eric was still practically a stranger — he’d rescued me from a garage, I’d helped him get a box to his room, and then I’d been following him around since in a lustful daze. That was the extent of our relationship, which made me feel a bit strange for just casually agreeing to follow him to a secluded part of his house. Knowing someone else here was helpful, and Louis seemed nice. It grounded me, reminded me that all this was real, and I resolved to not get too carried away about the whole Eric thing.
“Oh right, you go there for that course.” Eric nodded at Louis. “Everyone, this is Jay. Caitlyn’s arch-nemesis.”
“I thought YOU were her arch-nemesis.” The red-headed girl sitting next to Louis said in a rich, low voice.
“I am. We’re joining forces.” Eric put his hand on my shoulder, and then began pointing them out, starting with the red-headed girl, while everyone offered a small wave as they were introduced. “That’s Melissa, this is Jessica, you know Louis, that’s Frank — don’t call him Francis, unless you want to,” Frank rolled his eyes. “That’s Jared and… sorry, who are you again?” He said pointing at the last guy.
“Vince.” The other guy in a t-shirt leaned forward to shake my hand. “Eric’s oldest friend. He’s usually nicer to me, because I know all his secrets.”
“I have no secrets.” Eric scoffed.
“He wet the bed until he was thirteen.” Vince said with a deadpan face.
“That’s not a secret.” Louis laughed.
“Jay didn’t know.” Vince shrugged, grinning slightly.
“I’d kind of assumed.” I said, before I could think better of it.
I do that a lot. Probably more after a few drinks, although I was still evaluating that. If I think of a joke, I tend to blurt it out. Sometimes it doesn’t land well, which would probably be mortifying enough to make me flee most parties. But this time, it was pretty well-received. A few of them laughed, and Vince clapped. Eric gave me a wry grin.
“Brilliant.” Vince said. “Somebody get this guy a drink.”
“On it,” Jessica shouted over her shoulder, at the drinks table.
“I just want to be clear, because these guys fuck around,” Eric gripped my shoulder. “I absolutely did not wet the bed. It was a prank these assholes pulled.”
“Suuuure.” Vincent said playfully.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was just trying to fit in.” I grimaced.
“That’s adorable.” Melissa chuckled. “Come sit with me and Louis. We’re the nice ones.”
“You stabbed me with a pencil when we were nine.” Vince said indignantly.
“Allegedly.” She looked at me and patted the empty chair between her and Louis. “Come Jay, sit.”
Eric went to the drinks table to join Jess, and I obediently sat down next to Melissa. The group carried on talking about whatever they had been talking about before we arrived, which I found a bit hard to follow, having missed half the context. Louis gave me an encouraging grin. I glanced over at Eric as I sat down, and saw Jessica lean over and whisper something to him. He shrugged in response. I looked away as he grabbed two drinks, and made his way over. He sat down next to Melissa and handed me mine — a gin and tonic. It seemed to be what they were all drinking, except for Jared and Frank, who had beers. I sipped on it gratefully, happy to have something to do with my hands.
“How’s Caitlyn’s Eighteenth going?” Melissa asked Eric.
“Garbage. Mine was way better.”
“Yeah,” Melissa scoffed. “She only has like, what, twenty times as many people here as you did?”
“Exactly. So my party had way more fun per capita.”
They all laughed, and I tried to join in and not seem awkward.
“So you’re eighteen?” I asked him.
“Yes, officer, I’m allowed to be drinking.” Eric scoffed. “Mel, Vince and I are the grown-ups here. Lou and Jess are still babies. Arrest them!”
I laughed, and Louis rolled his eyes. I wondered about Frank and Jared, but I didn’t really want to ask. I knew Louis was in my year, I’d figured they were all in the same year as well — friendships across age groups were basically mythical in high school. Even the loneliest people didn’t want to slum it and be the loser whose friends were all younger than them. Sometimes girls would date guys older than them, so maybe that explained Frank not being included, at least.
“You forgot about John.” Melissa commented.
“Oh. Right. Where is John?” Eric asked.
“Oh, he’s off hitting on one of the-” She paused, glancing at me. “Elohim kids.”
“Bible-bashers?” I suggested.
“Oh, hey,” Melissa said delicately. “I get that your faith is a personal-”
“I’m an atheist.” I said, raising an eyebrow.
“OH. Well okay then.” She grinned, and winked at me before turning back to Eric. “Well in that case, John is off chasing some Jesus-floozy.”
“Sensitive.” Louis said dryly.
“Thank you.” Melissa grinned widely at him.
“Do we know who it is?” Eric asked.
“Ask Frank.”
“Frank? Who’s the girl that John’s flirting with?”
“Oh, ummm… I don’t remember her name. Tara? Zara?”
“Sara?” I suggested.
“Probably.” Frank nodded. “She’s with a friend though, so he didn’t know if he was allowed to bring them up.”
“What? Why?”
“Melissa said he couldn’t.”
Eric turned to look at her.
“Hey, I was just being careful. Meeting new people sucks.” She glanced at me. “No offence.”
“Some taken.” I said. Louis and Melissa laughed, but Eric was weirdly serious.
“Jay, is Sara okay?” He asked. “And do we know who her friend is?”
That was a weird question. I mean, he’d brought me up here, and he pretty much only knew I didn’t like Caitlyn and that I snooped into other people’s garages. I don’t know what kind of character reference he was expecting from me, based on that.
“Oh, I don’t really… know Sara. I guess she’s okay? The friend was probably Ellie. She’s pretty nice. She’s my neighbour. Ellie’s the one that made me come here.”
“Is she your girlfriend?” Jessica asked, leaning forward for my answer.
“No, just friends,” I said quickly, trying not to be annoyed. “And neighbors.”
“Right.” Jessica said. “And are you seeing anyone?”
“I’m not.” I said.
Eric gave Jessica a weird look. At least I wasn’t alone in finding that odd. I felt like I was being interrogated about my love-life by a relative.
“YOU are though, and I’m sitting RIGHT here.” Frank said, with an exaggerated tone of hurt.
“They used to be so in love.” Melissa shook her head ruefully.
“Oh, calm down.” Jessica leaned over and kissed Frank on the forehead. “I’m just helping all of us get to know Jay. I don’t want to date him.”
“Well, now you’ve hurt his feelings.” Frank said. She rolled her eyes.
“Lay off, guys. Anyway, we’re getting off-topic.” Eric turned very seriously to me. “Are Ellie and Sara nice?”
“Ellie’s nice. She leant me a pen once.” Louis commented.
“You have low standards.” Eric smirked. “Jay?”
“Yeah, Ellie’s great. I don’t know Sara well. She seems fine.”
“Fuck it, I’m bringing them up then.” Eric hopped up and headed inside. I wondered for a second if I should follow him, but concluded that it would be a weird thing to do. I quietly sipped on my drink instead.
“Was that… normal?” I asked Louis quietly.
“Oh, I like you.” Melissa laughed.
“Yeah…” Louis grinned wryly. “He’s just trying to find ways to be nice to John. Things have been… tense. Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.” I settled back in my camp chair.
“It probably doesn’t matter how nice Sara is, anyway.” Melissa circled back to the topic. “She’s just going to be making out with John.”
“He does have a surprising amount of game.” Louis smiled.
“Is it surprising?” Frank wondered. “John’s not bad-looking.”
“Jay, if Frank leaves me for John, will you be my rebound guy?” Jess asked.
“Sure.”
Everyone laughed. I was beginning to relax, and starting to really like them. No one I hung out with from school was like this — I had a group I just did schoolwork with, and a group I just played video games with. I didn’t have anyone I could just sit with and talk, and have a good time. Ignoring my developing crush on Eric seemed important, because I was falling in platonic love with his friends. I was still feeling a bit out of place, but the feeling was fading fast.
Most of what they talked about was just very light-hearted stuff. No one traded in bitchy, back-handed gossip about people from their school. They weren’t even going on about what I thought was generally a pretty benign topic — the horrible looming academic pressures of the year. Even Louis, who’d be facing all the same pressures as us, seemed to be completely at ease about everything that would be coming his way. It was incredibly refreshing.
Eventually Eric arrived, and with him was a guy who must be John, then definitely Sara and — as I predicted — Ellie.
“Jay! Louis!” Ellie came over and sat down in Melissa’s seat. She seemed slightly drunk, but still fairly sensible. Melissa was at the drinks table, and started talking to Sara while John poured them drinks. Eric came over to us, and grabbed my empty glass. I’d been sipping compulsively, and had gone through it quite quickly.
“Another drink?” he asked me.
“Yes, please.”
“Ellie?”
“Can I have just lemonade or something?” she said, batting her eyelashes.
“Of course.”
“Thanks.”
“I’d like a drink too, Eric.” Louis gave him a cheeky smile, waving his empty glass.
“Fine, fine.” Eric snatched Louis’ glass, and went back to the drinks table to pour.
“Eric’s so nice.” Ellie tapped my arm. “Hard to believe he’s related to Caitlyn.”
“Yikes. ‘Related’,” Louis chuckled, “Do NOT say that to his face.”
Ellie laughed and shrugged.
“I should go help Eric carry the drinks back,” Louis got up and left us.
“I’ve been drinking too much.” Ellie leaned in conspiratorially. “But there was nothing else to do. She’s just been talking to him all night.”
“I’ve been bored too. And worse.” I suddenly remembered getting stuck in the garage. It felt like it had been ages since. “I did actually message you.”
“You did?” She pulled out her phone. “Oh, sorry. What happened?”
“I got trapped in the garage. But it’s fine, I was rescued and then brought here.”
“Ooh, an adventure.”
“Yeah, it was thrilling. Shelves of boxes and a ladder that could have killed me if I tried to use it. Real Indiana Jones stuff.”
Eric came over and handed me my drink, and sat down next to me, in Louis’s seat. Louis handed Ellie her drink and sat down on her other side.
The four of us drank and chatted, sometimes joining the conversation of the larger group, sometimes breaking down into smaller, private conversations. Jess had settled on Frank’s lap, playing with his hair, generally just doing the ‘adorable couple’ thing. John and Sara were leaning against the wall, talking quietly, touching each other’s arms and hair, smiling slightly — putting out the general impression of people about to kiss at any moment. Jared got up to smoke, to everyone’s disgust, and was banished to the far end of the balcony to do so.
Maybe I’d had too many gins at that point, but I’d kind of begun to perceive the night as some sort of elaborate live-action recreation of a renaissance painting. Ellie’s outflung arms, Eric’s cool gaze, Louis’ pensive thoughtfulness, Melissa’s hearty smile. Jess and Frank’s easy intimacy in stark contrast to Sara and John’s building heat. Jared’s exile. Vince’s capering antics. It all felt so perfect, and a little surreal. Ellie and I ended up alone again, and I began to feel that I was kind of getting to a point where I’d had too much to drink. Ellie looked around at the group and sighed.
“I feel like such a yokel.” She said, “They’re so cool.”
“I feel like this around everyone.” I chuckled quietly, and she narrowed her eyes. “What? It’s true. But I do know what you mean. They’re so relaxed, and easy-going.”
“I know!” She said, a bit loudly, and then moderated her tone. “And they’re so nice. What the hell is wrong with our school that everyone’s so uptight and bitchy?”
“It’s not their fault. Most of them have all grown up together. They just don’t know how to make new friends.” Which was relatable, really. “Plus, I think we’re all a bit more stressed out than these guys.”
“Yeah, I guess. I feel like I went to the wrong school. Anyway, new subject. What am I going to do about Sara?”
“What about her?” I looked over at Sara, who was still happily gazing into John’s eyes.
“She told me I have to look after her tonight. Couldn’t leave her alone with this guy. But now they’re doing… THAT.”
“Yeah, tricky.” I said, without much sympathy. “You could just let her do what she wants. She looks happy.”
“Maybe.” Ellie didn’t seem convinced. “What if she wants to go home with him?”
“Then let her?”
“Ugh, you’re not taking this seriously.”
“Not really, no.”
“When did you, of all people, get so easy-going?”
I just shrugged. I was saved from having to come up with a response for that, by the arrival of Eric.
“Hey, we’re going to walk down to that place at Marine circle and get ice-cream.” He looked over at Ellie. “Sara’s coming.”
“Oh, then I have to.” Ellie hopped up.
“Jay?”
“Yeah, that sounds fun.” Ridiculously wholesome, actually. The sort of thing other people I hang out with might deride as lame or pointless, as if it was totally mad to want ice-cream.
Frank and Jess were just going to say goodbye to people at the party and then go home, and Jared was getting a ride with them or something, so they all went off together. Jess gave Eric a tight hug and whispered something in his ear, and then the three of them set off. The rest of us left the house, managing to avoid Caitlyn’s guests thanks to a handy detour, and were soon on the street heading towards Marine circle. It was a fairly touristy part of our suburb, that was so brightly lit you could always point your way to it at night.
It was a downhill route, so we got there pretty quickly. The main road was brightly lit, and the side-walks were wide and well-maintained. I’d come down this way many times. Once or twice alone at night, although never quite this late. It was nearly 1AM. Once you got on the road you could smell the salt of the sea, and hear the roar of the waves. We talked a bit on the way, but you could only really talk to the person next to you. I ended up next to Louis, and we chatted pleasantly about upcoming tests, university plans, and shared interests. Lord of the Rings came up. It was a pretty cool conversation.
I think whoever came up with the idea had thought that the ice-cream place would still be open at 1AM, but eventually we figured out that we were going to just have to get pre-packaged ice-creams at the convenience store. Melissa was the only one seriously disappointed, and she perked up when she found something she liked in the freezer.
Almost everyone was done paying by the time I had decided on something, since I was trying to pick the ice-cream that I was least likely to mess on my shirt, because if I could still make an idiot of myself, I probably would. Eric had somehow still taken longer than me — maybe I’d gotten in his way or something — so he was waiting behind me at the counter when I was handing over my card to the cashier, and the lights in the building blacked out for a few seconds, and then flickered back to life.
“Oh crap.” The cashier thumped the card machine on the counter. He was a gangly guy with long, greasy hair, only a few years older than us, and he looked exhausted. “This is going to take a few minutes. This card machine is old, so when the power does that it has to reboot.”
“Why DOES the power do that?” Eric asked over my shoulder.
“This building. It’s like a billion years old.” The cashier said.
Eric nodded sympathetically. He turned around.
“Guys,” Eric said. “Jay and I have to wait for the card machine to come back online. Why don’t you head down to the beach and find where we’re sitting, and we’ll come and join you.”
There were murmurs of assent, and they all filed outside. Ellie gave me a slightly paranoid look before she went out, but she was back on duty, ‘looking after’ Sara, so she followed them pretty quickly.
We waited a few minutes, and then the lights flickered again.
“Well that can’t be good. I hope nothing’s wrong.” The cashier looked down at the card machine. “Sorry guys, it’s rebooting again.”
“Is the till still working?” Eric asked. “Can we just pay with cash?”
“Yeah, that should be fine.” The cashier said.
“I don’t have cash on me. I’d have to go to the ATM.”
“Hey, it’s fine. I have plenty.” Eric stepped up to the counter. “Just ring this up with his.”
The cashier handed back my card and rung up both ice-creams again, and Eric handed over some money. We were probably out of there faster than if we’d had to pay by card anyway. I don’t know if there’d even been a point to sending everyone off ahead of us.
“Thanks,” I said, as we made our way towards the beach.
The promenade that led along the beach alternated between glaringly brightly lit places — from the closed store-fronts and the street-lights — and very dark patches, from shadows cast by various objects along its side — mostly sculptures and potted plants set up to beautify the place for tourists.
“Hey Jay,” Eric said as we entered a dark patch, and stopped. I stopped too, and turned around to face him. He stepped closer to me. “Can I ask you a question?”
We were standing in the shadow of a pretty large sculpture, and I could vaguely see the contours of his face, but I couldn’t quite make out his expression. I was fairly sure he was acting strangely — but like I said, I don’t get out much, so I’m no expert.
“Um, okay. What is it?”
He stepped one step closer — closer than you’d need to be to ask a question, definitely — and in one heartbeat, his hand was on the side of my neck, touching the exposed skin there. In another, his lips were on my lips, his light stubble was grazing my face, and it felt like electricity was exploding through my body. After what could have been an eternity or a nanosecond, our lips pulled apart. It was too soon, whichever one it was. He took his hand off my neck, and stepped back, and I was immediately filled with a sense of frustration.
“Was…” he cleared his throat. “Was that okay?”
I was momentarily speechless. My mind was still reeling, not quite believing what had happened. I was still kind of sitting on that first tier of drunk, wobbly on my feet, feeling fuzzy and warm and philosophical. But suddenly I was also coursing with adrenaline. There were so many sensations rushing through me that the vague anxiety and nervousness I was feeling most of that night — and most of any other time I’m around new people — was just completely gone, washed away. So I resorted to an old standby, because I literally had no other idea how to respond. I made a joke.
“What, like a rating out of five stars?”
He laughed, and it was such a wonderful sound, so pure, so relieved, that I stepped forward and grabbed him by the shoulder. It was probably a bit more forcefully than he’d grabbed me, but I didn’t care. I just pulled him closer, and pushed my lips up against his. His mouth opened, and our tongues brushed, and it was exploratory, playful, and urgent. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, or that I was breathing too much, or that I was literally made of something explosive and what we were doing was dangerous. Incendiary.
But I didn’t stop it from happening. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t have known how. He pushed me up against the sculpture, and I groaned. It’s like everything I’d ever imagined, and nothing I could have possibly dreamed up, and I almost resented him for it when he pulled away again. It was like pulling someone to the top of a cliff and then just dropping them off the edge.
“We uh…” His breathing was heavy, and he inhaled deeply, as if to steady himself. I probably would have fallen myself, if I wasn’t propped up against a big stone sculpture. “We should get down there. Everyone’s going to be wondering where we are.”
“O-okay.” Fuck. He was right. There were all his friends. There was Ellie. And there was Sara, who I barely knew, but she could definitely tell everyone at school and make my last year absolutely miserable. The possibilities started to overwhelm me, but then he grabbed my hand, and it was suddenly a little difficult to think about anything else.
He led me down the path, the two of us flitting from shadow to brightness and back to shadow. As we approached the steps down to the beach, he slowly let go of my hand. There was an implicit understanding in that. I felt like a secret agent, knowing that the thought was ridiculous and melodramatic, and loving it anyway. Because I was still close enough to smell him, and the taste of his mouth was still lingering on my lips. It seemed insane that we kissed, but I knew it happened.
I stumbled along in his wake after that — we were wearing jeans and closed shoes in the sand, and it was a little unpleasant to walk on the dunes. We got to the top of one and saw the rest of the group spread out loosely on the beach, so we went to join them. Ellie was sitting alone on a small dune, so I sat down next to her, and Eric sat next to me.
“So that’s happening.” She nodded at Sara and John, who had gone off to their own relatively secluded and shadowy, but still quite visible, spot. They were shamelessly making out.
“Go John.” Eric smirks.
“I hope she doesn’t want to go home with him.” Ellie said, irritated. “She’s supposed to stay at my place tonight. Her mother phoned my mother and everything. If she’s not there tomorrow…”
“Don’t worry about it.” Eric said. “I can outmanoeuvre John. I’ll make sure she has no choice but to behave.”
“How?” Ellie asked pointedly.
“Just trust me. Relax.” Eric laughed.
“Okay.” Ellie shrugged, and wrapped her arms around her legs.
Vincent came stumbling through the sand to us.
“Hey, we’re going in the water. You guys want to come?”
“Jay and I haven’t eaten our ice creams yet.” He held his up.
“Right,” I said, looking down, shocked to see mine was still in my hand too. I’d basically been running on autopilot, and had completely forgotten it was even there.
“Well, I’m going.” Ellie quickly started pulling off her shoes and rolling up her jeans.
“Awesome.”
Vince waited for her to finish, and then held out a hand to help her up. They ran down the dune and then were met halfway to the water where they were joined by Louis and Melissa, and the four of them splashed out into the gentle waves.
Eric and I opened up our ice-creams and sat eating them in silence. I felt something on my left hand, which was behind me, propping me up. It almost made me flinch, but then I realised it was Eric’s hand, and I broke out in an uncontrollable grin. I couldn’t bring myself to look directly at him. It felt like it might break the spell, and he’d evaporate. John and Sara carried on, lost in their own little world. I could almost resent them — their presence here was the only thing keeping us from doing what they were doing — but, more than anything, I could empathise with how they felt.
The wind had dropped since that morning to a much gentler breeze, although there was a slight chill to what should have been a warm summer’s day. Eric took his hand off of mine, and I felt a slight tingling, which at first I took for nothing, but it kept happening. I looked over, and he was grabbing small handfuls of sand, and letting them trickle down onto the top of my hand.
“What are you doing?” I laughed softly.
He made a non-committal noise and shrugged, but kept adding handfuls. My hand was starting to get well and truly buried.
“Cut it out.” I shook the sand off and wiped my hand on my shirt.
He laughed, and took the opportunity to shift up closer to me. We were now pressed against each other, his leg against mine, his hand reached out behind me to prop himself up in the sand. I reverted to not looking directly at him. I was already feeling a bit restricted in my jeans, and his proximity was only making it worse.
In contrast to the cool sea air, I could feel his warm breath on my neck, and I turned to look at him. He was just staring directly at me, and he didn’t look away when I faced him. I felt my breath catch in my throat. I could just make out the blueness of his eyes in the dim light, although they looked as dark as the ocean at that moment.
“What?” I said, once I’d regained the ability to speak.
“Nothing.” he said softly. “Just taking in the scenery.”
I smiled, and turned to face forward again, grateful that my blushing wouldn’t be so obvious in the shadows. He shifted slightly, and I felt his fingertips lightly stroke my back, randomly tracing a pattern over my shirt, sending a tingling shock through my body every time he crossed my spine. I shifted in my jeans, to adjust myself — it had become necessary — and he gave a low, throaty chuckle at the motion.
We both gazed out at the others, wading around in the water, while we finished our ice-creams in a charged silence that had made me feel light-headed. We finished them, and not too long after that, everyone started to make their way out of the water.
“Here, give me your wrapper.” Eric stood up, and held out his hand. “I’ll throw it away.”
“Uh, sure.” I handed it over, enjoying the way our hands brushed as he took it from me and smiled.
He intercepted Vince on his way back from the bin, and the two started talking quietly. Ellie wandered up the dune and set herself down next to me. She began dusting sand off her feet and putting her shoes back on.
“That was so fun. They’re all really great, aren’t they?” she said.
“Yep.” I replied quietly.
“The water is absolutely freezing. I’d hate to try this in winter.”
“Mmm.” She tilted her head towards me. “Are you okay?”
“What?” I sat up straighter, trying to think clearly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, maybe.”
“It has been a long day.” She sighed. “At least the weather got better.”
“Yeah.”
“Hey Ellie.” Eric was approaching us. “We’re getting Ubers home. Vince is going to distract John while we’re walking back up, so you should probably swoop in and monopolise Sara’s attention while they’re busy.”
“Ooh, a devious plot.” Ellie rubbed her hands together. “I love it.”
“I’ll get their uber here first.”
“Splendid.”
“Do we even need an Uber?” I asked.
“I’m not walking back up that hill.” Ellie flung her arm out dramatically. “I will literally die.”
“Can’t have that.” Eric said, smiling at me.
“No.” I agreed, grinning back like an idiot.
“Do you mind walking home from our street?” Ellie asked him. “We’re on Cumbria Drive, and you’re downhill from us.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Eric’s eyes briefly flickered over to me, and he grinned.
The group slowly gathered, and we began to slog our way up the dunes to the promenade. On our way up, on the last stretch of sand, Vincent jumped on John’s back.
“Get off of me, you idiot.” John said, swatting at Vince and laughing.
They careened into the sand, and began wrestling. I noticed Ellie as she slid up casually next to Sara, and said something quietly to her. Sara shook her head, and put her hand on Ellie’s shoulder. They went ahead of the group together, and back up the stairs onto the promenade.
“Morons.” Melissa shook her head, smiling at Vince and John.
“Wow.” I said quietly to Eric as we trudged our way up.
“I know, right?” he laughed quietly. “That worked better than I thought.”
“Hey dumbasses,” Melissa shouted down at John and Vince. “Our uber is here.”
“Bye guys.” Louis said to the four of us.
They climbed into the Uber, and Melissa started chatting amicably with the driver. Vincent and John came up the wooden steps that led from the beach, and Vince clapped John on the shoulder, sending a light dusting of sand out.
“Say goodbye to Sara.” Vince said. John gave him an annoyed glare.
“I should go.” John said, stepping up to her and wrapping his arms around her.
“No shit.” Melissa shouted from the passenger window.
“I’ll text you.” He wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug.
“You better.” Sara said, giving him a peck on the lips.
With that, he let go of her and climbed in the car. The door slammed, and the car drove off.
Sara sighed, and I felt like I could understand what she was feeling. I looked over at Eric. He looked up from his phone at me, and smiled. My stomach fluttered.
“Two minutes until ours gets here.” He said.
There was some sort of suggestion in his words, but I was too tired, drunk or generally addled to figure out what. Ellie and Sara tittered excitedly in hushed voices a small distance away, while we leaned against a low stone wall at the edge of the side-walk.
I so badly wanted to grab him and kiss him again.
Eventually, the Uber rolled up. Sara climbed into the front seat, while Eric and Ellie strategically flanked me, and I ended up stuck in the middle of them. I was too distracted to try and fight for a better seat. But then the car went through a dark stretch of road, and Eric grabbed my hand again. I suddenly didn’t mind the middle seat so much any more.
I felt like I was on fire. My skin was tingling, my face felt flushed and full of heat. The three of them chatted with the driver, but I had no idea about what. I was basically catatonic — the only sensation that existed in my mind was his thumb, rubbing slowly backwards and forwards along my palm. The car could have been going absolutely anywhere.
Eventually, mercifully, we rolled to a stop, and everyone got out. I snapped out of my stupor and saw that we were in front of Ellie’s house. We said our goodbyes, and Ellie and Sara headed for the front door, while Eric and I walked along the street in front of my house.
“Which one’s yours?” Eric asked.
“This one right here,” I said, pointing to it. “But I sort of have my own entrance around the corner.”
“Cool.”
As we rounded the corner, he grabbed my hand again. It was too much. I dragged him up to the exterior wall and kissed him again, pushing him against it. Bliss. I’d been waiting for what felt like years. I felt like I might explode.
“Jay.” He said, pushing me away slightly, and panting. “Should I go home?”
I groaned inwardly. Yes? Maybe? No. I had no idea what was happening to me — it was exhilarating, and terrifying, and wonderful. There was no doubt in my mind that I absolutely did not want him to leave. Maybe I thought it was a bad idea that he stayed, but I couldn’t exactly bring myself to say that. But he sensed my hesitation.
“I should.”
I kissed him quickly, like I needed to do it, just to stabilise myself.
“I don’t want you to go. It’s just that…” I groped for words, “I’ve never really done… anything…”
“With a guy?”
“With anyone.”
“Oh.” His eyes widened slightly. “OH.”
He recovered quickly.
“That’s okay,” He said quickly. “I can stay, and we don’t have to do anything… like that. I’m happy to just make out, or whatever.”
I gave him another quick kiss, and nodded.
“Yeah?” He said. “I can still head home if you don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Don’t you dare,” I growled, grabbing his hand and dragging him along behind me. “Come on.”
He laughed. I let go of his hand to try and open my gate without making too much noise. We both went in, and he stood in the path waiting while I locked it behind us. As soon as I finished he grabbed me and began kissing again, and then we broke apart and headed down the path again. It took us a few iterations of that — stopping, kissing, breaking apart and walking — before we finally reached my room.
I locked the doors, and closed all my blinds so no one would stand at the glass door and be able to look in on us. I texted my mom that I was home, safe and in bed, so she wouldn’t come to check on me later.
Eric sat on my bed, watching me do all of this, giving me a smouldering stare. I went over to the table to turn off the lamp, but he grabbed my hand, stopping me. He pulled me down onto the bed, and ran his hand slowly up my arm, across my shoulders. He gripped my neck as he pulled my face towards his.
His kissing before had been violent and urgent, but now it was slower. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth and I struggled to contain myself to his leisurely, luxuriating pace. My own violence and urgency hadn’t gone away, and all my efforts to speed up the tempo only seemed to amuse him. As I grew more tired, and it became more and more apparent that he wasn’t going to melt away in the morning sun like fog, I began to relax, and just let myself enjoy it. It felt like a lifetime that we lay there, exploring each other’s mouths.
We broke apart at one point for a breather, and just lay there, studying each other’s faces again. He stroked my hair, and ran his thumb along my jaw and across my lips. I gently ran my fingers up and down his arm.
My eyes were heavy, and every time I blinked it felt like it would take more and more effort to open them again, so at a certain point I just stopped trying, and lay there with my eyes closed, feeling the heat of his breath against my face, and the weight of his hand on my chest.