Merely Players

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and talked to his door. “Daniel, this wasn’t me. I’m going to go figure out what the hell happened. I promise you, this wasn’t me.”

There was no response and I walked out the front door. The kid was gone, so I assumed his mother had picked him up. Mike was pacing when I launched into my attack.

“Been out of the limelight too long? Wanted to get people talking about you again? Couldn’t resist the low hanging fruit, Mike?”

“Jollo, if you don’t start making some sense, I’m fucking leaving.”

“I saw more pain in Daniel’s eyes this morning than I did at the funeral, how’s that for sense, Mike? You want to use me, I guess after all you’ve done, you have the right. But use the kid? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He stood there staring at me, eyes narrowed. “Charlotte, I’m telling you, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about the video you posted of the song and Daniel’s narrative. It was private, Mike. You knew that. You absolutely knew. Now it’s up on YouTube and he thinks I’m using my brother’s death to kick-start my career.”

Running his hand through his hair, Mike looked up at the sky. “I didn’t post anything. Why would I do that?”

“Well, you had it, Mike. Who else could have posted it?”

“I sent it to a guy in New York to get some feedback. I told you I was going to do that. I don’t know what the hell he did or why, but let me look into it.”

His eyes were on his car.

“Look at me. Seriously, look at me. I love you and aside from Daniel, you’re the only family I have, but if I lose him because of this, we’re through. Do you understand me? He wants to go back to the foster home. I am dead serious. If I lose my nephew because you fucked up, I will never speak to you again.”

Mike nodded, still not looking at me. “Yeah. This is on me. I’ll fix it. Can I talk to him?”

I shrugged. “You can try. He’s in his room, ignoring me.”

He walked down the hallway to Daniel’s room and I walked into the kitchen where I collapsed into Jerry’s arms. I felt like my world was crumbling around me. It was bizarre how much I grew to love Daniel in such a short period of time, but if I lost him it would kill me. I could hear Mike almost yelling to be heard over the crappy metal my nephew was playing.

“Hey, kid, can we talk? Daniel? Listen, you gotta know I’d never do anything to hurt you, right? I’m gonna find out what happened, but this is all me, not your aunt. Daniel?”

Mike stalked back to the front door. “I’m gonna find out what the fuck happened. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

When I heard his car pulling away, I walked into the living room where Belinda was trying to be inconspicuous.

“Mike is out. I need you to go to the studio and let Teddy know he’s in charge there and get Gil on the phone. I want him on site at the venue. He’s going to handle logistics there. Both will answer to you. Take whatever money you need and hire an assistant. I’m sorry to dump this on you but… Yeah, I don’t have much choice. Do whatever you need to do and if Mike gives you any shit, tell him to call me.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry, Charlotte.”

“Me too.”

Heading into the kitchen, she grabbed a bag and filled it with drinks and snacks.

“What are you doing?”

“Before I leave, I’m going to see if Daniel’s window is open. If it is, I’m going to see if I can pry out the screen and throw some food in there. He, uh, he needs some kindness right now. He needs to know someone is thinking of him. Not that you’re not, but he has to feel horrible and–”

I shut her up by hugging her. She was shocked. “You don’t have to defend being kind to my nephew. Thank you, Belinda.”

She awkwardly patted me on the back and went out the door, leaving me with the man I had loved but left and the nephew who loathed me, like some funhouse mirror version of domestic bliss. I may have lost Daniel and Mike. I can’t lose Jerry, I can’t. Not again.

*****

Eventually going outside, I walked around to the side of the house. The window screen was lying on the ground. I hoped he’d closed the window or had some sort of bug spray. Jerry had gone to satisfy his office hours on campus and I felt more alone than I’d had in years. I kept trying to work, but I couldn’t focus.

Eventually googling my name, I quickly realized that Mike had also put my version of “Long Cool Woman” on the internet. The only good thing about this day was that both songs were tremendously popular. I was, however, getting some serious pushback by people who thought “A Kona Hema ‘O Ka Lani” was incredibly exploitative. I wanted to scream and rant that it wasn’t intended for them.

In four hours Daniel came out of his room once, and that was to use the bathroom.

“…arlie. Charlie!”

Shocked, I turned and saw Jerry behind me. He had a bag from Mother Clucker’s in his hand. I just looked at him until he continued.

“How long have you been staring at the wall?”

I shrugged.

“Did you eat anything?”

I shook my head and went back to staring at the wall. Grabbing my shoulders, he gently turned me.

“How often do you see your therapist?”

“Coupla times a month.”

“Charlie, I want you to call and see if you can get an emergency appointment for today. Now.”

I slowly exhaled. “I can’t leave. I don’t know when he’ll come out and I need to be here for him.”

“They can do a Zoom session. I need you to do this, okay? I don’t ask for much, do this for me.”

“She may not be free.”

“You can check.”

Nodding slowly, I got up to grab my phone. After scrolling down to the counselor’s number, I put down the phone and stared at the floor. “I’ll be fine.”

“Bullshit. You’re so deep in the middle of everything that you don’t see it. Forest for trees, Charlotte. You have your final concert Black Hat which is also for your final album with Black Hat coming up this Saturday. Thousands of your surrogate family are flying in and you’re afraid they’re going to judge you. You found out that a car company may be responsible for your brother’s death and now all this stuff with Daniel and the looming specter of losing Mike.”

I continued staring at the floor.

“Call. Want me to call for you?”

Sighing, I picked up the phone and called. Half an hour later I was looking at Jerri on my screen. She seemed concerned and when I broke everything down for her she asked me to go over everything again, this time slower.

She was loathe to hand out scrip, which was fine. I would have loved nothing more than to sleep for forty-eight hours, but I needed to be there for Daniel. I didn’t feel any better after we spoke, but I did feel like I could navigate how shitty I felt. I was in the same boat, sailing down the same disastrous river, but she had given me a map and a pair of oars.

When I hung up, Jerry handed me a plate with a green salad with chunks of chicken.

“I knocked on his window until he opened it and I handed him two Memphis hot chicken sandwiches, waffle fries, two waters and a Coke.”

Running my hand through my hair, I looked up at him. “Please don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I mean–”

“I know what you mean.”

“This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

He nodded. “But you can handle it. Everything would be a lot more manageable if all of this weren’t stacked on top of each other.”

My phone rang as I picked at my food. It was Mike.

“You better be calling to tell me that video is off the internet.”

“It’s off YouTube, but it will never be fully off the internet. I’m not going to lie to you. We try to go crazy on it and it’s going to have the Streisand effect. I’m calling to tell you to stay home. I’ll be there by eight. And keep Daniel there.”

“Don’t bark orders at me, Mike. Get this shit straightened out.” I hung up.

Daniel came out of his room, used the bathroom again, went to the fridge and grabbed a carton of orange juice. Seeing Jerry, he stopped.

“What’s happening with the foster home?”

Jerry took a beat before answering. “Nothing yet. I had to work today. I’ll start looking into it tomorrow.”

“I have a bunch of stuff in a storage unit. Pastor Michael rents it for me. I’ve got old comic books, collectors stuff from the Giants that Dad got me, baseball cards, gaming systems. I can sell it to pay you.”

“I’m not looking for money, Daniel. If you need my help, I’m happy to help.”

My nephew looked at me scornfully and then back to Jerry. “Weren’t you two really close, like almost married? Are you saying you don’t want to make some money off my parents death?”

“I’ve known you your whole life and I think we’ve gotten closer in the past six months. I know you’re hurting, but I haven’t done a damn thing to deserve that from you. Being a kid only gives you so much leeway, Daniel. You need to start growing up and realize that sometimes things aren’t always the way they appear at first. I was friends with your parents and I’ve been a friend to you. Be pissed, but don’t take it out on me.”

“Let me know what you find out. Thanks for the sandwiches.”

The thanks was as close to an apology as Jerry was going to get.

I tried again. “I didn’t put it out there. It was supposed to be private, a Christmas gift from me to you.”

“And yet somehow it’s magically on the internet and what a coincidence, everyone’s talking about it and saying how tragic your freaking loss is right before the concert. What great sendipidy for you.”

He was trying so damned hard to act like an adult and hold on to his righteous anger. I had no idea where he had heard serendipity or how much he had in storage, but he wanted to sound mature and pay his own way after his betrayal. I bit my tongue and didn’t correct his pronunciation.

“What you’re saying doesn’t make sense. Do you know how much money I’ve lost by not touring? If I cared about the money, I’d still be on the road.”

He started walking back to his room as he spoke over his shoulder. “Problem solved. You can go back to touring tomorrow. I can stay at Shawn’s until Jerry gets stuff straightened out with CPS.”

Jerry looked at me. “I think I want to kill whoever invented teenagers.”

Smiling sadly, I went into the kitchen to make some tea. With the water on to boil, I walked back into the living room when my phone rang again. It was Belinda.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really, but I’ll survive. What’s going on?”

“We have your full set list and I’ve pulled in the people you need. Everyone’s supportive. I told them you’re having a family issue you have to deal with. I just need your vision for the concert. Are you looking for an acoustic, folk sort of thing?”

“No, absolutely not. Acoustic is fine, folk is not. I want a stripped down, rock your ass off experience. And do me a favor? The set list should have stars next to each song. Take three songs with one star and cross them off and have the band choose three songs to replace them. Whatever they want. Let them have some fun. I keep forgetting the people that’ve supported me and they’ve flown in to be here last minute.”

“Okay, I’ll get on that. One last thing, some fans are in town and they are swamping the record store.”

One more thing to deal with. Just wonderful. “Okay, I’ll post on the forum and ask them not to.”

“No, are you kidding? This is the store’s best day in eighteen months. I’m giving you good news, not bad. They’re supporting the store because of your connection. You’ve been a part of their lives publicly and anonymously for years. They’re trying to pay it forward.”

I was quiet for a moment.

“Charlotte?”

“Yeah, sorry. I needed to hear that. Thanks. Are they just hanging out over there? Can we send a pizza over?”

“Sure. I’ll get on that.”

“No, I’ll do it. I’ve already given you a ridiculous amount of stuff to take care of. Besides, it’ll give me something to do.”

I called the store.

“Hey, this is Charlotte. I’m–”

They hung up on me. What the fuck? I immediately called back.

“Did you just hang up on me?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Charlotte, the freaking owner. Is this Mia?”

“We’re busy.”

I silently counted down from five, got control over myself and replied.

“That’s actually good. Are the fans still there? I was going to send down some pizza and drinks.”

“So nice of you to be concerned about your wonderful fans. Maybe Daniel can eat the crusts when they are done.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, it wasn’t ME! I didn’t put it on the internet. How many people are in the store, Mia?”

“Twenty or thirty.”

“That include staff?”

“Look, I’m busy, I’ve got–”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m sending over a bunch of pizza and drinks. Make sure everybody gets some and you can do whatever you want when it’s just you and me, but don’t ever hang up on someone calling the store again.”

After getting off the phone, I turned to Jerry. “I don’t want Daniel seeing that little bitch again.”

“Right. Good luck with that.”

Rolling my eyes, I went back to trying to work. I had to do the song from the movie. The video of me singing with those two girls at Pinks was still popular. There was no way in hell I was playing “A Kona Hema ‘O Ka Lani”, but “Long Cool Woman” would be on the playlist.

“You know what you should do?”

I looked up at Jerry. “What?”

“Play something from your first album. From those early days in LA. Bring it full circle”

“Thanks for not suggesting that I wear that leather bikini.”

“Well, now that you mention it…”

It felt good to smile.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll talk to the guys. Can you bring Daniel some water? I’m afraid he’s just had juice and soda all day.”

He nodded. “You’re doing better at this than you think you are.”

Belinda had one of the comedians from San Francisco send me some banter to use onstage during the show. I liked it and felt like the guy got me, so I told her to invite him to the show and set up a meeting. Jerry sat quietly and worked on some processor or lawyer stuff on his laptop.

I eventually stood and stretched, realizing that hours had gone by. I got the rest of my salad from the fridge and wondered what I should get for Daniel when a car stopped in front of the house. It was Mike and some guy wearing pressed jeans, a fitted tee, a white sports coat, three chains and pounds of bronzer.

They walked in and Mike was glowering at the guy, who was clearly terrified.

“Jollo, this is Johnny Maestro. He has something to tell you.”

The man looked from Mike to me. “That’s, uh, not my real name.”

“Really? Your real name isn’t Johnny Maestro? I’m shocked. Tell me what you’re here to tell me.”

“I, uh, I have an ear, you know? That’s how I got my show. Thirty-two markets, drive-time. I’ve always been able to tell if a song has it, if it’ll be a hit. Sometimes I can make a suggestion that’ll change a good song into a hit. So, people in the industry send me stuff. I’m happy to–”

Mik interrupted. “Get to it.”

“Um, yeah, so you know those leaks when songs drop somewhere early? Well, they’re almost never leaks. Ever notice that those leaks never suck? It’s always someone with the band who wants to build some buzz. Like those celebrity sex tapes. They magically get out there. Well, there’s no magic, it’s guys like me. So, when Mike asked what I thought, I was like, hey, cool. I can do Big Mike a solid and help him out.”

He gulped. “It, uh, turns out he was being straight. I may have, uh, taken some liberties. When I heard, I hopped on a plane and flew in from ChiTown and wanted to set shit straight.”

What a poseur. He was dressing like an idiot’s idea of a successful A&R exec from the nineties and he calls Chicago ChiTown and he probably drops that thirty-two-markets crap into every conversation.

“Well, Maestro, I want you to tell my nephew exactly what happened and what you did. If he doesn’t believe you, upgrade your flight back to first class. You’re going to need the extra room for a huge-ass ice pack after I kick your balls up to your throat.”

“Uhm, yeah, sure. This is all me. I get it. I thought I was doing right by Mike. Where’s the kid?”

I thought for a second. “Wait, have you done this for Mike in the past? Some leak?”

“No.”

Okay, there goes that theory. If he’d had, Mike should have expected this.

“Alright, follow me. Daniel’s not in the industry, but he’s a smart kid. Explain it thoroughly and he’ll get it. Don’t mention the sex tape stuff. I’m going to put you in contact with my manager. You’re going to talk about this on your show tomorrow and explain that this is your fault. The two of you can figure out the language.”

Mike spoke up. “I can handle that.”

“No, Belinda will take care of it.”

I actually heard Mike sigh. I think he knew what he’d lost. For the majority of my life, Mike was my north star. If I had problems, I could look to him to point me in the right direction. That was over. Was I being a bitch? Maybe. Right then, it was the right choice, but it wasn’t written in stone.

We walked down the hallway to Daniel’s door. I knocked. “Hey, someone’s here to talk to you. He works with Mike sometimes. I… Daniel, I would never, ever use you or your dad. Never.”

“Um, Danny, it’s Johnny Maestro from The Long Drive with the Maestro, 99.3 in Frisco. You may have heard my–”

“For fuck’s sake, just get on with it. And it’s Daniel, not Danny.”

He turned to me. “Look, fine, but you’re as bad as Mike is. You’re making me nervous as hell. Can you back up a little? Give me some space?”

I gave him his space and he spoke through the door. I’ll give him this, he was good at talking. The Maestro went through everything and then retouched a few points. Daniel never said a word and I began to wonder if he’d crawled out the window and we’d been talking to an empty room.

When he finished, he used the bathroom and then headed to the front door. “Hey, I really am sorry to have been involved in any of this. I hope it works out. Friends?” He stuck out his hand.

“Are you out of your mind? Make sure that explanation is out there tomorrow and expect a call from Belinda. Friends? You’ve got to be joking.”

He seemed to get some courage from somewhere. “Look, I flew in from Chicago as soon as I got off the air. I actually did you a favor with this leak. I get it, it’s not what you wanted, but facts are facts. People are talking about you and I happen to know that Black Hat wants you back, so maybe a little gratitude is in order. I don’t need this kicking my balls up to my throat shit from some past-her-prime once-was.”

Mike took a step forward and I thought he was going to kill the guy when we all stopped.

“Get the hell out of our house.”

Turning, I saw Daniel by the kitchen. Maestro continued.

“Danny, I fucked up, but look at how it worked out. This is a positive. And I’ll mention something about it tomorrow, but I don’t need any help.”

“It’s Daniel and if you’re going to keep talking, do it while walking. My parents…” He took a deep breath and kept going. “My parents weren’t some marketing gimmick.”

Mike put a heavy hand on Maestro’s shoulder and guided him out the door while talking.

“Let me explain why you’re going to do exactly what Belinda says.”

I took a step towards Daniel. “I’m so, so sorry this happened. Can we talk?”

He shook his head and walked back to his room.

Jerry hugged me. “It was a good first step. Give him the night.”

*****

I woke up to Jerry in the kitchen. He was drinking coffee while on his phone. He gave me a quick wave as he continued.

“Right, I just have a few questions for you. Were you aware that California is a one-party state? That means that I don’t need your permission to record you and the homeowner certainly doesn’t if you’re in their home.”

Pause.

“Exactly, so you’re copping to what you did when you spoke to Daniel? I have that on video. I know what we agreed to yesterday, and that still stands. All I’m saying is, make sure it happens.”

Pause.

“Thanks for asking. As a matter of fact, I am an attorney. A very good attorney who is pretty wealthy. That means I can spend as much time as I’d like concentrating on you. How’s your corporate shielding? Want to bet I can pierce that and go after you personally? You should google me. If I was comfortable taking down Fortune 1000 companies, I shouldn’t have much of a problem with you. That was three times, by the way.”

Pause.

“Great. Then we’re in agreement. You make sure that everyone knows it was an error on your part and that Charlotte had absolutely no part in this whatsoever. If you need to bring up Big Mike, go ahead, but don’t try to throw him under the bus.”

Pause.

“Okay, I look forward to listening to today’s show. You have a great day.”

I gave him a golf clap after he hung up. “How’d you get his number?”

“Mike.”

“Can I be honest? That was the hottest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

He smiled. “If there wasn’t a fourteen-year-old sleeping in the room across from yours, I’d take advantage of that assessment.”

I wiggled my eyebrows. “I’m sure he has soccer practice or something coming up.”

“You seem… Better.”

“Yeah, I think I am. A full night’s sleep helped. Daniel’s calling this his home was a bigger help. Has he been out?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay. I’m gonna make an egg sandwich and if I have to, I’ll toss it through his window.”

Jerry laughed. “Make sure the screen is still off. I don’t want to be picking up eggs and toast from the bushes.”

I had very little choice. I had to get down to the venue and do a run-through. We had two days before the concert and we were so far behind it was laughable. This was going to be the loosest event I’d ever played. Sometimes that’s lightning in a bottle; most often it’s a nightmare.

Belinda came back to the house. She was able to handle most of her stuff via the internet and over the phone, so she was there in case Daniel came out of his room. I hightailed it to the university.

The run-through was rough, but we made it. It felt comfortable being back with the band again. There were a number of people from the forum waiting outside, so I invited them in and we turned it into an impromptu mini-concert for a hundred or so people. The guys from the band decided to screw with me and chose “Her Strut” by Bob Seger and “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett for the songs they wanted to include.

I can’t count how many times I was compared to Joan, Lita Ford, Bonnie Raitt and Chrissy Heinz by lazy-ass journalists. It was annoying as hell. Compare me to Joan in the same article where you compare me to Vince Neil and Billy Gibbons? Fine, but that never happened. I was always compared to the women, as if having XX chromosomes meant we could only be discussed in conjunction with each other.

It was fucking reductive, dismissive and annoying. I stayed far away from covering any female artists, with the exception of “Son of a Preacher Man”.

If the band thought that they were funny and wanted to tease me, I’d roll with it this once. But “Her Strut”? I knew they thought I’d be embarrassed, but I ate that shit up. I was going to own the stage.

“Okay, can we get everyone back here tonight at six? One more run-through, two more tomorrow and then Saturday’s the big day.”

Everyone seemed fine with it. I spent another half hour talking with people from the forum and apologizing for my decade-long deception. Everyone was good-natured about it and I loved putting faces to names. There were lots of hugs, especially when I finally met a member in person. He’d met his wife at one of my concerts. When she passed three years ago after a long battle with cancer, he became a shut-in, almost to the point of agoraphobia.

Someone else had to point him out to me. He was hanging back on the outskirts, almost as if he didn’t want to intrude. I cried when he gave me a sketch his wife made of one of my album covers and we hugged for a long time. The image was framed and stacked on top of it were some photos of her at concerts, dancing, smiling and so very full of life.

These people wrecked me. There was no way that I could return all of the love that I received from them. All I could try to do is let them know that whatever enjoyment they’ve had at my shows or listening to my music is eclipsed by their being my surrogate family. I’ve had dips in my career and I’ve had times where I was releasing hit after hit, and hi or low, they were always with me.

The cops in Davis must have been busy that day, because I ignored the speed limit as I flew back to the house. I needed some tea with honey, time to go over changes and to hear that Daniel was okay and didn’t hate me.

The In-N-Out on Olive Drive was nearly empty, which was a miracle unto itself, so I drove through and spent thirty bucks on anything I could think of that he might want. It was a desperate move, but I wasn’t above buying affection or forgiveness with animal style fries and burgers.

Grabbing my valise and the bag with the food, I rushed into the house. Belinda was hunched over her laptop and looked up at me.

“Did he come out?”

“Uh, yeah. A while back.”

“And I wasn’t here. Son of a bitch. Okay.” I lifted the paper bag. “I got him some food. I’m sure there’ll be plenty left over if you’re hungry. Or we can order something decent.”

She checked her watch. “I have to pick up my family. Their flight comes in at five.”

Rolling my eyes, I mock-smacked myself in the head. “I am so sorry. I totally blanked. Of course. Take off now. Everything is fine here. Do you know if he ate anything?”

“Yeah, um, he’s not here. He left with Jerry soon after you left.”

It took me a minute to process what she was saying. “What?”

“He’s out with Jerry.”

I thought of Daniel’s words to Jerry when he’d first seen the video.

“I’m your client, right? Not her? I want to…” He started crying. “I want to go back to the foster home.”

Jerry looked to me and then back to Daniel. “Um, maybe we should–“

“Just do it! If, if you care about me at all, if you cared about my parents, just do it!”

Taking a deep breath, I looked down and then back to Belinda. “Did they…” I cleared my throat. “Did they say where they were going?”

“No. I can call Jerry, if you’d like.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine. Get your parents. I’m sorry if I… I’m just sorry.”

She looked at me with pity and closed the laptop. “It’s going to be okay, Charlotte. Really. He’s a pain in the ass, but Daniel’s a good kid. He’s out and about with an adult he trusts. That’s got to be better than stewing in his room, right?”

Not mentioning my fears that they might be at CPS while I was rehearsing, I just nodded. “Sure. Wish your parents my best.”

Belinda left and I put a kettle on to boil. Sitting down, I pulled out my phone and texted Jerry.

Tell me you’re not helping him go back to a foster home.

??? Of course I’m not. We’re at Sparks Grill. He wanted help getting stuff from storage.

My heart slowed.

Ok. Love you.

I sent it and then realized what I’d sent. Sitting back in my chair, I didn’t move until the kettle started whistling. I was an emotional mess, but I knew it was true. I did love Jerry. Maybe it wasn’t the best time and place to say it, but it wasn’t a lie.

He didn’t respond, but that wasn’t my biggest concern. I knew that I’d broken his heart all those years ago. I’d take what I could at this point, even if it wasn’t love.

Drinking my tea, I went over every song on the set list. Taking notes, I sent some texts to the band and then I went over the jokes the comedian had written, trying to figure out where to put them in the show. Time flew by and I started getting jacked on all the caffeine from the honeyed tea. It was almost time to leave and they weren’t back yet.

I reached for my phone.

You almost done? I have to head to rehearsal.

Go ahead. We’ll meet you after.

Sighing, I got up, threw the laptop in the valise and headed out.

The rehearsal went better than I’d anticipated. The guys from the band told me they were joking and to take the Joan Jett song out of the playlist. We kept it in. If I wanted to be able to dish out jokes, I had to be able to take some teasing.

“Maybe your nephew could be the kid by the record machine?”

I just stared at my lead guitarist. “The one she’s into? The one she’s going to take home and fuck? What’s wrong with you? Dude, super creepy.”

He began flushing. I’ve known him for almost twenty years and he’s never had a filter between brain and mouth.

“Um, no, I meant…”

“Whatever. Just no.”

As I walked out to the parking lot, I was more confident that we could pull this off. Then I saw Mike. He was parked next to me.

My upper lip between my teeth, I looked up at the clouds for a minute.

“C’mon, Jollo. I fucked up. I trusted someone I shouldn’t have. You going to keep beating me up for that? I feel like shit. You’re not going to make me feel worse than I already do. Don’t you want to hear how his show went today?”

I was silent for a moment. “Okay, what did he say on the show?”

“Get in the car and I’ll tell you. And I’ve got something to show you, too.”

“I can’t. I need to get home to see Daniel.”

He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “He’s not there. C’mon, we’re having dinner with him.”

“Presumptuous much?”

“Jollo, get in the fucking car.”

“Fine.”

We began driving to wherever the hell he was taking me and Mike handed me his phone. “Watch that.”

It was a video that he had cued up. I pressed play. It was Daniel, speaking to a camera.

“I guess I should introduce myself.” He seemed nervous as he looked at whoever was doing the recording. “My name is Daniel Kahale, and my aunt is Charlotte Kahale of Charlotte and the Bobcats. I want to tell you a story, but, I’m uh, not really… This isn’t my thing, so bear with me.”

He took a deep breath and plowed on.

“My dad’s family is from Hawaii. My uncle was in the Army for a while and he was friends with a guy named Mike. When my uncle came home, his friend had surgery or something on his back and the Army let him go and he got better in Hawaii with my uncle. Yeah, so, uh, that guy eventually managed my aunt when she was a kid, a few years older than I am now.”

Daniel looked up again at the person recording and then back to the camera.

“Okay, so, yeah. My aunt became popular and this guy started managing lots of bands and doing other stuff, like, I don’t know, producing and running stuff. Meanwhile, my dad came here to go to college. He was the youngest in the family. He met my mom, stayed here and they had me.

“They, um, they died. Earlier this year. My aunt gave up a lot to come watch me and make sure I was okay. We didn’t always get along so great, but that was getting better. So, she had her old manager help her make a video she wanted to give me for Christmas. It had her singing an old Hawaiian song and me talking about Mom and Dad. The old guy, the manager, he sent it to some creepy guy who supposedly was good with picking out what songs worked. He wanted to get this guy’s opinion.

“Well, the creepy guy put the song on the internet. He thought it was okay because he has a big radio show or something. Yeah. Right. Where was I?”

Again, he looked at the person recording. I heard Jerry’s voice.

“How the video got out.”

“Right. Right. Okay. So, my aunt screwed up by trusting Mike. Mike screwed up worse by trusting the creepy guy and that guy straight up screwed me. But the thing is, my aunt wasn’t trying to use me or my parents. She just trusted the wrong people, which isn’t good, but I guess it was a mistake. I thought she was going to hit the radio guy, she was so pissed.

“Yeah, I guess that’s it. Except, those people who are saying she used me and my parents, you don’t know what you’re talking about. We all got used by the creepy radio guy. So maybe you can back off, because I’m the only one who has the right to be pissed off. It’s my family. I guess that’s it. Um, yeah. Okay.”

The video ended. It was awkward and it was sweet and my heart melted.

“What did the Maestro say?”

“He pretty much fessed up while somehow making himself look like a hero for all the people he’s helped in the past. It’s public knowledge that you got screwed. Daniel’s video is all over YouTube and made it to TMZ. We good?”

I slowly let out a deep breath. “Yeah, we’re good. I’m keeping Belinda in charge of things, though.”

“Good. She should be.”

“What are we having for dinner?”

“Probably churros and hot dogs.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.”

A few minutes later he pulled into the parking lot of the miniature golf place. The big neon sign by the street read “Welcome Aloha Girl!”

Mike parked and turned to me. “I’m really sorry about all of this, Jollo. More than you could know. That kid didn’t need anything more to worry about. Talk to Jerry as soon as you see him. I split the cost with him. Consider it my penance.”

“Cost for what?”

“Talk to Jerry.”

Annoyed, I shook my head. It would have been nice to just have a straight answer. We got out and headed to the gate. As I looked around for Jerry and Daniel, I saw people from the forum everywhere. Hugs were aplenty, but my eyes were constantly scanning. I finally saw them. As politely as possible, I threaded through the small crowd and made my way to the two men in my life.

Jerry tossed me a black tee shirt that read “Aloha Girl Tour.” Looking around, I realized that everyone was wearing them.

Daniel was quiet and I couldn’t read him. I repeated what Mike had asked me.

“Are we good?”

He nodded. “We’re good.”

Stepping forward, I pulled him into a hug that I wanted to last for days. Moving my lips towards his ear, I spoke softly.

“I’d never hurt you and I’d never use your parents. I know I haven’t been the best aunt or sister, but I’d never do that, ever.”

His grip tightened for a minute and then he let me go. It was way too soon, but I forced my arms to release him.

I was soon swallowed up by friends from the forum again and Jerry stayed at my side while Daniel went off to the bumper cars with friends. We eventually made our way over to the little restaurant. Mike was right. Hot dogs and churros it was. Oddly, the cashier wouldn’t take my money.

When we had a moment just to ourselves, I spoke to Jerry.

“What costs did you split with Mike?”

Jerry gave a short laugh. “Daniel asked me to take him to his storage unit. He took out a lot of the stuff he was going to sell to pay me to get him back into foster care and instead sold it to pay for this. Everything tonight is on the house. He wanted to pay for your fans to come and meet you and get together before the concert. Daniel said they were your other family. He got seventeen hundred dollars for his game systems and some of his collectibles. When we left, Mike went in and bought them all back.

“We came down here right before you texted me. He spoke to the manager about renting out the facility. He thinks it cost two grand and they cut him a break.”

“How much was it really?”

“Sixteen-five. Mike and I split it. When Daniel was negotiating with the manager, I told him I had a splitting headache and asked him to get me a water. While he was gone I told the manager to take Daniel’s money, agree and I’d cover the balance. Don’t spoil it for him.”

“That’s a lot, right?”

“Charlotte, you have almost two thousand people from the forum that might be here and they all get the mini-golf, food, drinks and game tokens.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, I know how crazy things have been and how much stress you’ve been under. Don’t worry about what you texted.”

I kissed his cheek. “Thanks. Let’s go say hi to people and find my nephew.”

Scooping up the cups and paper plates, we walked over to the garbage. After we tossed it away, I took his hand.

“I meant it. Always have, always will.”

“That’s… Um, that’s…”

“Something that doesn’t require a response. It’s just the truth and something you should know. Everyone I’ve been with since you has been a shadow of the man I love. All smart, college-type guys with blondish hair who can rock the preppy look.”

He sighed. “It’s not that I don’t feel the same, it’s just that there’s other considerations. I can’t tell you how much I loved my wife. I don’t have the words. I also can’t tell you how long it took me to get over you when you left. I… I just need to go slow.”

“I understand. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Hand in hand, we walked to the bumper cars while meeting old friends who doubled as family.

*****

I woke up in Jerry’s arms, blissfully happy. That ended as soon as I looked out the window. I was so pissed I had to grab my phone and google it. Davis receives less than a third of the national average of precipitation and yet there they were, giant fucking grey clouds.

I cursed through my shower, I cursed through breakfast, I cursed while I checked the weather reports and I cursed while I tried to find out if the university had an indoor venue that we could switch too.

Belinda hadn’t come back to the house last night, instead opting to stay at the bed and breakfast with her parents and brother. I was so tempted to call her, but didn’t. She deserved at least a morning with them and as irrational as I am about what I expect from her, even I knew that she couldn’t dissipate clouds because they were fucking with me.

I should be almost silent, not railing against whatever fates have delivered cloud-aggedon. Honeyed tea should be the drink of the day, not agita that was burbling up my insides. This was a nightmare and I couldn’t fight it. All I could do was try to find a work-around.

Jerry’s warm fingers settled on my shoulders and began to gently knead. I leaned back into him. as he spoke.

“Well, the good news is that from all your cursing I know that your snoring didn’t ruin your voice.”

“Snoring? I don’t snore.”

“You snore like a freight train.”

“Jerry, you’ve lost your damned mind.”

“And nearly my hearing, from your snoring.”

I began giggling and he hugged me.

“It’s going to be okay, Charlie. We’ll figure it out.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if something went smoothly? Just once?”

He kissed my cheek. “Hey, this is nothing. You’ve got Daniel, your extended family of friends came out to support you, you’re moving on from the label at a great time and… well, you’ve got me. What’s a little rain?”

Fuck it. He was right. What’s a little rain?

“Daniel! Wake up! We’ve got places to be.”

Walking down the hall, I banged on his door.

“Get up, get up, get up. Call your girlfriend and see if she’s free. We’re gonna need help.”

The door to his room opened slowly and he stared at me with narrowed, sleepy eyes. “What?”

I hugged him quickly. “Get showered, call me and let’s get going. We have a big day that just got busier.” I yelled over my shoulder. “Jerry, put on some tea!”

Within the hour we’d picked up Mia and hit Big 5 Sporting goods. I asked to speak to the manager.

“Hi, I need every poncho you have. Rain slickers, too. Whatever you have like that.”

We loaded up the trunk and drove to the venue. “Mia, want to make some money today?”

“Um, sure.”

“Great, you’re hired.”

We hit up Walmart, Sam’s Club, Dick’s Sporting Goods and Target. We had a small hill of rain gear piled up at the record store by mid-afternoon. I posted in the forum and asked everyone to come down. We had a big crowd by five and the owners of the other stores in the strip mall were getting pissed.

I stood in the bed of a fan’s pickup. “Okay, listen, I’m going to need some help. You all know Belinda, right? She’s amazing. So, she’s been working her ass off but her family is in town. Let’s try to make things as easy as possible for her this weekend. If everyone could take two ponchos, one for you and one for someone else who needs one at the show, that would be great.