Everything that Glitters

In late March/early April, 1986, I was driving my buddy’s dually across south Texas, pulling a four hour trailer with sleeping quarters to a TYRA rodeo. My wife was following with his wife and our combined four kids in our custom van. English language radio stations are scarce down that way, so we were listening to KKYX, 680 AM, San Antonio. I heard the first few cords of a song I was not familiar with, and my buddy exclaimed, “Listen to this!”

That’s the first time I ever heard “Everything that Glitters is not Gold”, by Dan Seals, co-written with one of the greatest songwriters ever, Bob McDill. Not the last time I heard it, though; I bought the cassette “Won’t be Blue Anymore” ASAP, wore it out, and bought the CD a few years later.

Like most fans, I was disappointed by the music video, and by all those that followed. I found that strange, because that was the day of great music videos

My fascination with the story includes a man who can’t let his old horse go — if you ever owned a horse, you know – but it’s focused on a mom that totally abandons her child and husband to pursue her rodeo career. I mean, I know it happens in every area of pursuit: business, singing, acting, sports, whatever, but why and how could she do that? What kind of woman does that? What were the circumstances, the influences?

Youth rodeos go on day and night for two-three, sometimes four days, so there is plenty of time for talking and solving the world’s problems. We engaged in several discussions about this song with the rodeo crowd (which at one time or another included two World Champion ropers, a Finals barrel racer, and a Finals team roper — and their spouses) over the spring and summer.

We never came near consensus on how that could happen, but there was consensus that top rodeo athletes are as much (or more) adrenaline junkies as top performers in any other field of athletics or entertainment, and are equally tempted to cheat. I heard stories that would curl your beard, and, years later, traveling with a high-level circuit performer, I saw some of it firsthand. Rock stars aren’t the only ones that get room keys and panties with phone numbers handed to them.

Likewise, there are few women on the tour, there are dances after many rodeos, and the cowgirls are in great demand. Heck it’s easy to fall in love during the grand entry, just watching the pretty cowgirls with their form-fitting jeans and western shirts, racing around on their beautiful horses.

Although they live in dream world, most rodeo hands are practical; if it needs doing, do it. I guess paying to play and needing the prize money every time you go out so you can keep paying entry fees and the bills has the effect of eliminating some of the superfluous and ideological – if you want to eat and/or feed your kids. Some are religious, as depicted in this story; some are not, at all. Some act morally, some immorally; some are amoral; just like in the real world.

So what I tried to do in this little story is introduce the reader to the world of rodeo and to the elements of this great song in part one, and then propose answers to the questions “Why would she?” and “How could she?” That effort continues in part two, as her daughter, ex-husband, family, and friends try to deal with the aftermath of her actions, and with her new status as one of the redeemed.

Fair warnings – (1) I’m not gonna stay in one lane (I don’t drive that way or write that way); (2) Zane is an alpha male, he’s just not loud about it. And, frankly, I can’t imagine a beta on the tour anyway — I certainly never met any. Oh, some were quiet, but they were just as deadly. Think Cobra rather than Rattlesnake. (3) A passel of you aren’t going to like my hypotheses, but feel free to write your own version. Lord knows, this would make a good movie if someone would write it well.

So, without further ado, here it is – one of my all-time favorite country-western songs.

EVERTHING THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD, BY DAN SEALS AND BOB MCDILL

Saw your picture on a poster, in a cafe out in Phoenix

Guess you’re still the sweet heart of the rodeo

As for me and little Casey, we still make the circuit

In a one horse trailer and a mobile home

And she still asks about you all the time

And I guess we never even cross your mind

But oh sometimes I think about you

And the way you used to ride out

In your rhinestones and your sequins

With the sunlight on your hair

And oh the crowd will always love you

But as for me I’ve come to know

Everything that glitters is not gold

Well old Red he’s getting older, and last Saturday he stumbled

But you know I just can’t bear to let him go

Little Casey she’s still growing and she’s started asking questions

And there’s certain things a man just doesn’t know

Her birthday came and you never even called

I guess we never cross your mind at all

But then sometimes I think about you

And the way you used to ride out

In your rhinestones and your sequins

With the sunlight on your hair

And oh the crowd will always love you

But as for me I’ve come to know

Everything that glitters is not gold

Everybody said you’d make it big someday

And I guess that we were only in your way

But someday I’m sure your gonna know the cost

Cause for everything you win there’s something lost

But oh sometimes I think about you

And the way you used to ride out

In your rhinestones and your sequins

With the sunlight on your hair

And oh the crowd will always love you

But as for me I’ve come to know

Everything that glitters is not gold

There is no sex in this chapter; if there were, it would be between persons over 18. The rest of the story belongs in Romance rather than Loving Wives, so it has moved.

From Part 1

Looking him directly in the eye, Cassie stoically stated, “Zane, once I cheated on you, lying to you was easy. I used drugs to get me through the day, and more drugs to keep me from admitting what a slut and whore I was, so I quit calling you and Casey. I could not think of you or my daughter because it broke my heart each time I did. Yes, the stories you heard were true; I did truly horrible things, again and again. It was easy to take the drugs and use whatever man was available to keep me from thinking about what a fuckup I had become.

The problem was, you can’t stay drunk or high all the time, and sobriety was gut-wrenching. It wasn’t withdrawal from the drugs; sobriety meant memories came flooding back, and I knew I had ruined my reputation and the life we had planned. You and my daughter, my mother, and all the friends I had gained over the years abandoned me, because I had abandoned them.

My ‘friends’ had become people like Rick, and yes, he wasn’t lying — to my eternal shame, I had sex with him and with an unknown number of others just like him.

I was in a spiral headed straight to hell, and I couldn’t pull out. And then God intervened.”

***

It was after three am when Cassie ended her story. She was wrung out emotionally and physically, as was Zane. He invited her to stay and sleep in the bunk above her daughter so they could see each other when they awoke. He thought that might be good for Casey, but Cassie declined, then asked if they would come to breakfast at her trailer at nine am. He accepted with a nod, and told her goodbye.

Then he sat down and rehashed the night.

He was satisfied that she had told him the truth, as far as it went, but part of him wanted to press her for details about her sexual liaisons.

‘Why, though?’ he asked himself. He had photos of her making out with men, descriptions provided by eyewitnesses, and his imagination had provided plenty of additional detail. What would it accomplish to make her relive and describe the drunken/stoned/strung out debauchery?

She did what she did; she admits everything; she swears daily to the God she long ignored that she will never again get involved with drugs or illicit sex.

She wants a relationship with her — their — daughter, who desperately wants her momma’s love. She’s said nothing about trying to reestablish a relationship with Zane, so that isn’t a disqualifying factor.

Cut to the chase, if she is NOW a responsible and reliable person who won’t endanger Casey, why not? Did her actions of more than two years ago make her permanently and irrevocably wicked? A pariah?

She’s twenty-six years old; for twenty-four of those years, including the last two, she conducted herself as a moral person, he reminded himself. Do the other two years cancel everything good on her scorecard with Saint Peter? How about on my scorecard?

Too much deep thought for so late at night, he decided, and like only a man can do, he crammed all that into a compartment and went about getting ready for bed and a good night’s sleep.

***

Casey was dressed and impatient to leave by 8:45, but Zane wasn’t through with the horses, so she had to prance around and fuss until he was; then they went to Cassie’s trailer. She opened the door, squatted down, hugged Casey, and asked how she slept. After her daughter’s enthusiastic response that she slept very well, Cassie invited Zane in and handed him a cup of strong, black, hot coffee.

He thanked her for remembering, which drew a small frown. He quickly asked if she slept well, and she replied, “Surprisingly, I did. Perhaps our talk was cathartic, or maybe I was just exhausted, but I slept well. Did you?”

He turned his palm down, spread his fingers, and wagged his hand in the universal sign for “okay but not great.”

Breakfast was delicious, and, he had to admit, his ex-wife looked delicious too. The loose-legged red shorts — not quite short shorts, but close — and the white button-up shirt with the tails tied at her waist did a great job of making her appear the young woman of every man’s dreams. She was a little thin for his tastes, but her legs were still smooth and shapely, her B cup breasts were still perky, and that ass… that ass still graded Prime!

His cock began to swell, so he quickly forced his eyes to her head. Her wavy golden hair fell onto her shoulders; she was wearing light makeup and there was only a hint of red lipstick on the plumb lips that were pursed into the smallest of knowing smirks. The sky blue eyes were mildly crinkled around the edges as she fought the urge to smile at his appreciation of her body and looks.

“Busted — sorry,” he said, but the small smirk on his own face signified that he wasn’t.

“Thank you,” she replied. “I know I’m too skinny, but your appreciation is appreciated.” She gave him a real smile, and turned to their daughter. He watched her, and wondered where his anger went. Oh, he was still gun-shy around her, but the angst and teeth-gritting rage had been replaced by feelings of loss and resentment.

Zane had things to do but Cassie was free, so Casey stayed with her all morning, ate lunch, and took her afternoon nap in her momma’s bed. She was hyper when she awoke, and Casey got drug around the grounds by a little girl intent on finding her daddy.

She found him in front of his trailer with Brad, Carole, their kids, and 2 other couples with kids.

“We were coming to get you two! What would you feel about going to the carnival midway and the Old West Museum, then eating at the Botanical Gardens?” Casey jumped up and down in delight, but Cassie looked down at herself and asked, “Do I have time to change?”

Carole and Judy laughed at her. “Ha!” Carole replied. “Look at us! We’re wearing shorts too! If that outfit is good enough to entertain guests for breakfast, it’s good enough to wear to the midway!”

“Then can I at least put on some athletic shoes? These sandals aren’t exactly made for walking!”

They hurrahed her, but escorted her to the trailer, where Carole, Judy, and Sarah escorted her inside “To make sure she doesn’t get all dolled up and embarrass us. You know how rodeo queens are!”

As they were walking over to the midway, Zane explained. “Our second go ground isn’t for two more days so we have some spare time, the kids need some exercise, and we could all use a little fun. I hope we didn’t interfere with your plans for the day.”

“I’m up in the same show, so I’m good.” With a grin, she corrected herself, “Well, I did have to forego cutting my toenails, polishing my boots, and watching my soaps, but otherwise I’m good!”

Zane shook his head and muttered, “Women and their soap operas — can’t get enough drama!”

That got him chastised by all four women, who tried in a serious manner to explain the appeal of soap operas to four men who were shaking their heads in disbelief. Rambo summed their feelings with, “Rather take a beating!”

The midway was more fun for the kids than the adults, although everyone had fun. The museum was more fun for the adults than kids, although they had fun too. The Botanic Gardens, located just east of the fairgrounds, were enjoyed by all, but only after a good meal.

Casey held hands with her mom some of the time and with dad some of the time; as they walked back to the trailers, she insisted on holding hands with both of them so they could swing her like they used to. Zane and Cassie avoided touching throughout the day, but it inevitably happened from time to time. At first, they shied away like skittish colts, but after a while, the instigator just smiled and apologized, and the other smiled back.

Although she was discreet, Carole kept a close eye on them; she couldn’t stand the thought of Zane and Casey going through what they endured before, and, although hopeful, she didn’t fully trust Cassie. She saw the awkward touches, and saw each watch the other when they weren’t aware, but Cassie did nothing she considered seductive.

Oh, she seemed well aware that Zane loved her butt and legs, and she did display herself rather provocatively from time to time, but it was coy rather than blatant.

Besides, it wasn’t just Zane looking when she did; in fact, Carole elbowed Brad once when his gaze lingered on Cassie tying her shoes. He just grinned and shrugged his shoulders, meaning ‘all men are dogs.’ His wife knew that, and she posed a few times herself, drawing her own share of the attention. So did Judy and Sarah; men are dogs, but women are exhibitionists.

***

The stands at the arena were packed, as usual, and team roping was going on. They paused and watched from a distance. Their time from the first round looked good so far in the second; now to duplicate or beat it day after tomorrow.

Rather than a sing-a-long, they grilled burgers, sausage, and wieners, let the kids play, talked, and relaxed. Zane noticed that each time they ate Cassie closed her eyes and prayed silently, but didn’t push for a table-wide blessing of the food. Everyone would have joined in if she had, but this seemed private.

Wyoming nights get cool, even in late July, so they packed it in about 9:30 and said good nights. Cassie looked askance at Zane, who invited her to help Casey get her shower and get ready for bed.

She jumped at the chance, of course, and read two books before her daughter said, “I’m sleepy, Mommy. I want you and Daddy to say my night prayers with me, and then kiss me good night.”

“Now I lay me down to sleep…” she prayed, and then she kissed each, and proclaimed, “I love you.” Within seconds, her eyes were shut and she was asleep.

Cassie looked at Zane with unshed tears in her eyes and told him, “You really are the bestest daddy in the whole world! I’m so sorry I did that to you and our precious daughter!” Then she fled back to her trailer.

More confused than he had been yesterday, Zane cleaned up and went to bed, again dreaming of a fallen blonde angel who needed his mercy to recover.

***

The coffee maker was hissing and gurgling as Zane anxiously awaited his first cup. It was barely six am, but he couldn’t sleep anyway, so here he was, cup in hand waiting for the click that signaled the brewing cycle was complete. He had poured and taken one sip when he heard a light knock on the door.

He pulled his pistol out of its hiding place by the door and quietly asked, “Who is it?”

“Lindsey. I know it’s early, but I need to talk to you.”

He eased the door open, confirmed it was the young barrel racer who was now Cassie’s closest friend, and invited her in. He slipped the gun back in its place, and signaled for her to join him at the dinette booth. He offered her a cup, she took it, and added the sweetener and milk he got out for her.

“I’ll keep it quiet so we don’t wake the sleeping angel, but there are things I need to tell you, and I need to do it now. No bullshit this morning; I’m cutting straight to the chase, Zane. You can ask questions after, okay?” He nodded, and she continued.

“First, yes, she really has changed. Yes, she really is who she seems to be. I know this clashes badly with what you know about her ‘lost years’, but I’ve been with her ever since that Sunday, and I’m telling you, she is almost saintly in her obedience to her pledges.

Second, she’s got a problem she’s not going to tell you about: dear old dad! He came after her with attorneys when she cut him off, trying to foist some BS ‘contract’ he claims she agreed to. My brother is a lawyer, and he shut that shit down quickly.

She hadn’t heard from him in a while, but lately he’s been stalking her, and he has a couple of his drug dealing friends involved too. She’s scared, and I’m REALLY scared, for her. He is capable of anything, including harming her!

And third, you are killing her softly! The nicer you are, the deeper the wound. She wants you to scream at her, cuss her, hit her, do anything to punish her for what she did to you! Instead, without comment you include her in her daughter’s life, and let her hang around with you and your friends. Being that close to ‘the most wonderful man’ in the world’ is devastating, because she knows she fucked up so badly there is no future with him.

I don’t know if you are really that kind, or that cruel.”

Zane finished his coffee, got up and got another, then asked if Lindsey wanted more; she did.

Zane spoke quietly, but with a ferocious intensity. “So what would you have me do, Lindsey: cut her off from Casey, punishing them both for her mistakes, as she has been doing? I mean, what kind of woman decides she should pay penance by cutting off all contact with her daughter, AND her mother? Who is she punishing, damn it! To watch Casey cry on her birthday because her mother didn’t even call — do you have any idea how painful that was — two years in a row?

You and Carole both believe she’s changed, but what I see is the same selfish girl who ditched me, her daughter, and her mother, to chase her dreams in a drug-addled haze. It’s still all about her! She sinned, so others must pay!

I call bull shit — if anything, right after she ‘saw the light’, she should have come to us, begged her daughter for forgiveness, and asked to be a part of her life! Instead, she cut off what little contact she had: no more Christmas presents, no more trinkets from time to time to say she cared, not even a birthday present! Shit, she was a better mother when she was strung out on crack fucking everyone in sight than after she ‘found God’! I call Bull Shit!”

Lindsey was wide-eyed, completely taken aback by Zane’s furious response. She stuttered, “But Zane, she… she didn’t feel worthy, so…”

“Horse-fuckin-shit! When you feel unworthy, you ask for forgiveness from those you wronged! She needs more than Cowboy Bob; she needs a counselor, and a good twelve-step program. Wallowing in your sorrow doesn’t make you a worthy mother, or daughter!

“She was loved to the nth degree, and threw it all away — now she wants to slip right back in to motherhood? Her daughter doesn’t even know her! She’s been gone from our lives for more than four years!

“Don’t get me wrong — I’ll let her be with Casey, in spite of the divorce decree she readily signed that grants me sole parental rights. I’m not doing it for her, though — I’m doing it for Casey. But let me warn you so you can warn her: she has no idea of the kind of pain I’ll rain on her if she hurts my precious angel again!

“So if she wants a relationship with her daughter, I’ll help make it happen; but I wonder if I’m giving her the rope to hang herself with.”

Lindsey replied in a serious manner. “Zane, I think I understand better now; thanks for explaining. I look at it from her point of view because I sit with her when she’s hurting the worst.

“If regret were a commodity, she’d have the market cornered, for sure. If she could turn back time, she’d slap her worthless daddy, tell him to never come near her again, and set about giving you a boy child to go with your sweetheart over there. Since that isn’t possible, she wants to acknowledge her mistakes — well, ‘her sins’, as she puts it — and try to move forward.”

“No! If she want to be a part of her six-year old’s life, she needs to stop worrying about the past and start fresh. No more apologizing about things she’s done, no more recriminations. Assuming she really HAS learned from her mistakes, and has become a God-fearing woman, that is whom she needs to present!

“I’ve known her since she was fifteen; she’s very bright, very personable and charming, ambitious, and absolutely gorgeous — those are reasons why she’s always getting selected rodeo queen and people line up to interview her live. That said, if there is anything I’ve learned, it’s what Dan Seals sings about: everything that glitters is not gold. So glittery, shiny, charming — mean spit to me!

“It’s what’s inside that matters; she needs to show me, her daughter, her mother, and everyone on the tour, what’s inside her now. If she’s genuine, she can build a new foundation for her future; if not, the rot will show through sooner or later.”

Zane made a conscious effort to relax, exhaled deeply, and said, “So, Lindsey, you’ve chosen to be the go-between: tell her to meet us at my trailer today at noon, wearing shorts and with her bathing suit in a bag.

“We’re going to Curt Gowdy State Park to kayak and canoe and soak up a little mountain air and sun. There are about a dozen couples and more kids than that, so she has an opportunity to show us that the real Cassandra is back — confident and ready to take her rightful place in her daughter’s world. If she can’t do that, she needs to write Casey a letter and explain, then disappear again.

“We’d like for you and your other friends to come too; it isn’t just the married folks going. Some of the young rowdies are coming too, because they want to eat, swim, and paddle board. I’ve got room for three more in my truck if you want a ride.”

“That is the best offer I’ve had in months, but how about we take my tricked-out pickup instead? You’ll have to sit on towels so my seats stay dry, but I can carry six and have plenty of room in the bed for ice chests or whatever. Deal?”

He rolled his eyes, but grinned when he asked, “It doesn’t have pink upholstery does it? Can’t tarnish my image as a tough guy, ya know.”

She shook her head, stood up, and said, “Damn you’re a great guy! I almost wish she’d… No, I don’t mean that, but if you can’t forgive her, give me a call.” She leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek, letting her lips linger for a second. “Smell good too — puro hombre! See you in front of your trailer at noon!”

***

Lindsey’s pickup was a Ram Mega Cab diesel dually, and it was definitely ‘tricked out’. The seats were real leather, it had premium sound, and there was plenty of legroom. He, Casey, and another barrel racer named Lacy rode in the back seat, leaving Lindsey, Renee, and Cassie in front. Curt Gowdy State Park was twenty-five miles south of Cheyenne toward Laramie, which was equidistant from the park.

Sarah, who was from nearby Laramie, had organized the whole afternoon. Her brother, Donnie, came with his family, and, because there was a prohibition against ground fires due to the heat and drought, he towed his barbeque-pit-on-wheels over. Sarah and Rambo bought all the makings for hot dog and sausage wraps, and others brought cold drinks, condiments, chips, cookies, paper plates, cups, or whatever they were assigned.

Donnie had been at their reserved sites for several hours and had plenty of wieners, brats, and sausage stored in his foil-lined ice chest. The other adults put everything on the serving table while the kids ran off some energy, and then they sat down to eat.

The mid-day temperature was in the upper eighties, but the nighttime lows were near fifty, so the lake water was cold but bearable in short bursts. There was a nice playscape for the younger kids, and large open areas where the older kids could toss balls, Frisbees, or footballs around. There were numerous hiking trails of varying lengths, and they had kayaks, canoes, and paddleboats for rent.

The command for the younger kids to come take their naps drew moans, whines, and “Do we have to?” But they were all asleep within five minutes, freeing the moms to don bathing suites, two-pieces, or bikinis and join the bikini-clad single women, who were being hustled by a group of young guns composed of bull and rough stock (bronc) riders.

Zane noted that Cassie had stayed to clean up with the married moms, put their daughter down for her nap, and then changed into her modest bikini. Lindsey had saved a beach towel for her beside the other racers, and she joined them with a smile and thanks.

Her bikini may have been modest, and she might be a few pounds light, in Zane’s estimation, but she drew young men like bees to an empty Coke can lying there on the big towel. Zane found that he was more bemused than amused at that, so he dove in and swam out to the raft to sun. He made it a point to face the lake rather than the beach, but he could still hear the happy buzz of young people talking, showing off, and flirting.

‘Not my problem’, he told himself as he thought about Cassie surrounded by admirers, and closed his eyes.

It was only a few minutes before the raft dipped as someone climbed the ladder and came aboard. He cracked one eye and saw long, wet, blonde hair being wrung.

“Mind if I join you?” Cassie asked politely.

“I don’t mind, but I’m sure there are a lot of young men back on shore who do. Are they coming out to join you?”

She sat down beside him, and her smile was as bright as the sunshine. “No, they are busy organizing a paddle board trip. They asked me to join them, but I laughed. The only time I’ve ever been on a board in water was when you took me to South Padre Island and put me on a surfboard! You KNOW how that turned out, so I told them I was too old and uncoordinated to do such foolishness!”

“Actually, Cassie, you did great once you got the hang of catching the waves. You rode them like a champ, with that great balance of yours, but the timing thing was harder for you.”

“All I remember is being under a lot more waves than I was on top of, but thanks for being kind in your recollection. We really did have a great trip, didn’t we. I’ve never been back to ‘the coast’. Have you?”

“Casey and I have gone in September the past two years, but we went to Port Aransas. She loves the beach and the waves, and especially feeding bread to the seagulls. She attracted so many to our balcony I got worried they were going to carry her off, and made her come inside!”

He was laughing as he told the story, and Cassie laughed with him, imagining the sight of their daughter throwing bread and being accosted by a flock of seagulls. Then it struck her that she should have been there! She should have been building memories with her daughter and husband, not running barrels in one more nameless rodeo in one more nameless town, chasing that dream!

Zane saw the haunted look, and then watched the agony cross her face. As if he had read her mind, he said, “Yes, you’ve missed a lot of memories, but you can make more with her. Since she is your new ‘highest priority’, make sure she is in the center of your thoughts and your life. I’ll make room for you, because I know she needs her mommy too.

“Hell, she’s started asking questions about things a man just don’t know; I’ll leave all that to you!”

They got in a half hour of comfortable conversation about the ranch, his parents, and her momma before Brad whistled and Carole waved at them while a little blonde angel rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. The dove in, swam to shore, and spent the rest of the afternoon with their daughter.

Their first order of business was a canoe trip around the lake, which caused Casey to hop with glee while Cassie warned that she had never been in a canoe before. She did fine, and they saw lots of wildlife on the shore and fish in the clear water, so their daughter was happy as a freshwater clam.

Zane was pretty happy himself, what with the nice view he had in the front of the canoe. Maybe she wasn’t all that skinny…

Back on shore, the kids shared the few rods and reels they had and caught some nice fish, but it was catch and release, so photos were taken but fish were otherwise not harmed.

Sarah had organized a 3.5-mile hike to the Hidden Springs, and she had six volunteers to keep the kids busy and supervised. The other adults put on their hiking clothes and shoes and headed out with Sarah leading the way. After two miles, it was clear that Sarah, Judy, and Zane were in excellent condition, and the others were not.

Zane was surprised that Cassie was lagging, and asked if she felt all right. “I’m okay, but this has made me realize that I’m in horrible physical condition. I guess several years of hard living got me there, but I haven’t tried to get out since I gave all that up. I just drive to the next rodeo, stay in the trailer except during the grand entry, my barrel runs, or when I have interviews, and then do it again.

“My friends call me ‘the old lady’, and I guess I live like one. Or, at least I’m in the physical condition of one! I need to get back to running and working out in the gym, don’t I?”

“Hard to imagine you not running and working out; you were always so conscientious about maintaining your health and looks.”

“I… I just don’t have much motivation. I don’t have anyone… I don’t have anything that I care about enough to want to sweat and work out.”

“Well, now you do: your daughter. You need to stay healthy for her!” he reminded her with a grin.

“Yes, I guess I do,” she replied with a sweet smile.

The Hidden Springs were sort of like The Window in the Chisos Basin, but with a waterfall and without the striking scenery when you looked out. They weren’t really disappointed, but not highly impressed either.

With a resolute look, Cassie tried her darndest to keep up on the walk home. She was breathing hard and sweating up a storm, but she did much better. Zane hoped this was the first step in achieving her resolution to get and stay healthy.

They had another hot dog or wrap for supper, and then gathered their chairs in a companionable half circle. “Oh, if only we had someone to play a guitar and lead us in song,” Renee lamented. “Maybe we could teach these boys to appreciate something besides bad hip hop.”

“Don’t look at me!” Zane demurred. “I didn’t bring my guitar. Maybe one of the boys has his along.”

“You didn’t, but Bob and I did!” Carole exclaimed as she brought his case to him.

With a sigh of resignation, Zane said, “Okay, I guess there’s no rest for the wicked! BUT, everyone is going to tighten this semi-circle and EVERYONE is going to sing! And that includes you punk bull riders trying to act tough and hide over there!”

The girls coaxed them in, and made them sit amongst them. Cassie sat up front, with Casey and a swarm of other kids around her. Seems “Casey’s mom” has become a big hit with the younger crowd.

Zane stuck to the classic western songs most people knew the words to, and that were easy to catch onto even if you didn’t. He had to smile when the rough stock riders and bull riders started singing the echo during the chorus on She’ll be Coming ‘Round the Mountain in the deepest voices they could muster. She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes (when she comes). They were having so much fun the kids joined in and demanded a replay.

It was good to see them having fun like the little kids, and it got even better when they continued participating as Zane played traditional western songs. Someone had failed to properly educate these cowboys, because they didn’t even know songs like The Yellow Rose of Texas, The Red River Valley, or Oh Susanna! They had heard Ghost Riders in the Sky, and they out sung everyone on that and Cattle Call, when young Cody even yodeled a bit!

It took two tries on Back in the Saddle Again, but they got it, and when it was time to go they asked to be included for the sing-a-longs in the future. They didn’t know it until later, but they had impressed some young ladies who had only seen their ‘macho bull rider’ sides before.

On the way back, Cassie sat on one side of Casey, and Lacy sat up front. Casey fell asleep right away, so her parents engaged in light conversation with the others in the truck. It was mostly what you’d expect from the 19-22 year old cowgirls in the front seat; gossip about other young men and women on the tour that they all knew. Cassie was dead silent during the conversations about someone’s love life, drunken mistake, or bad decisions, and Zane mostly sat quietly and listened, but did engage when the subject wasn’t so personal.

Cassie carried Casey to her bed, took off her clothes, and tucked her in. She kissed her cheek, smoothed her hair, said a silent prayer over her, and whispered, “I love you” before standing and looking at Zane. A wistful look crossed her face, but then she went to the door, said, “I had a great time today. See you tomorrow.” She closed the door and walked toward her trailer.

Zane puzzled over the nonchalant manner of her parting for a moment before deciding his suggestions to Lindsey must have been taken seriously. There had been no apologies today, but rather a focus on reestablishing the relationship with her daughter and with the other parents. She hadn’t been a flirt, but had engaged in conversation with anyone who tried. That exhibited, he thought, a self-confidence and maturity her reticence had hidden.

Zane, Brad, and Cassie were all up in the show on Saturday, which was the last show of the second go round. That meant they knew what times they had to beat to win the go, and what their averages had to be to make the finals.

Suds rated the steer perfectly in the deep box with the long barrier, and Zane threw a wide loop that curled nicely around the horns. Suds turned left; Brad was right on the steer’s heels and as soon as Zane had straightened him out, he threw his loop up under the steer and around his legs. The time was slow compared to a normal rodeo with a normal box, but it was good enough to put them in second in the go round and guarantee a trip to the finals.

Zane fared almost as well in tiedown with an 11.1 that put him in first place in the average, and third in the second go. Cassie smoked everyone by a half-second, and went to the short go with the fastest average.

It was a great night for all three, and they were so pleased they gathered up their families and stayed to listen to Dierks Bentley. Casey was too pooped to pop after the concert, so Daddy carried her back to the trailer. Mom cleaned her up, tucked her in, said night prayers with her, and kissed her good night, and then she got a kiss from Dad. She was a happy little girl who dreamed sweet dreams.

Zane and Cassie said goodnight and she went back to her trailer, and Zane had a nice dream that began with a striking blonde in rhinestones and sequins racing into an arena to wild applause.

The short go on Sunday followed Cowboy Church, which happened to be conducted by none other than Cowboy Bob. He was spellbinding, for sure, and the two testimonials were tearjerkers. They were sitting on either side of Casey, whose attention never wavered. Cassie wept quietly during the sermon, entitled “It’s never too late”, and again during each testimonial. Casey petted her leg and comforted her mom.

After the service Bob made his way through the crowd to them, congratulated Cassie on two years sober, and told Zane he had heard an awful lot about him, from Cassie and other cowboys and cowgirls. He suggested they get together and visit when Zane had a little time — maybe after the show? Zane agreed to meet him behind the pens near the announcer’s box.

They had another phenomenal day, with three firsts in the short go and three average winners! The wins at “The Daddy of Them All” boosted Cassie into first in the standings for the year, and increased the lead for the ropers. They were pretty ‘swole up’ after the show, but not as much as Carole and the kids.

Zane met Cowboy Bob behind the chutes thirty minutes after the show, and Bob gave him a lot of information he didn’t have about Cassie, her asshole father, and the management group he held as responsible as her father.

When he finished his commentary, he looked Zane in the eyes and asked where their relationship was going; Zane told him they were co-parents, nothing more.

Bob asked if that was ever going to change, and Zane shrugged.

“Give it some thought, Zane. You were married to a flighty little princess who lacked bedrock values and a relationship with her Lord and Savior. The woman you see now is grounded in her faith, grounded in solid Christian values, and she wants a relationship with her daughter and the man she has loved since she was sixteen years old.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t have advised you to let her near you or your daughter two years ago, but now… now I think she would be the catch of a lifetime. Someone you can trust and rely on, without a doubt!”

***

Cassie had obligations at rodeos in Idaho and Montana, so she turned west after a tearful goodbye with her daughter and a quick hug from her ex.

Zane and Brad turned their Mack trucks south, taking a roundabout way to Texas. They parked their rigs and boarded their horses with a friend near Fort Collins, Colorado, rented a Suburban, and spent the next three days exploring Rocky Mountain National Park. They stayed in Estes Park the first night and were entertained by the Elk grazing all over town. After a good breakfast, they crossed the continental divide on Trail Ridge Road.

They stopped at almost every overlook, astounded by the beauty, and they parked at the summit to take the 1.1-mile hike. Breathing at 12,800+ feet elevation was a chore, but they stopped frequently to marvel at the tiny plants that made up the alpine tundra, and at the astounding views.

After the hike, the kids were hungry, so they drove on down to the cabin they had reserved in Grand Lake. It was close to the lake, but situated along a fast running creek that was as cold as the barely-melted snow the water came from. The men dropped a six-pack of beer and one of Dr. Pepper in the water with a line tied to each, and the kids were surprised by how cold it was after a few minutes.