Dania

Flashback

*****

Death was in the air and the scent of it hung there like a fog. Mutilated and bloodied bodies were everywhere. These people hadn’t stood a chance against us. From the looks of things, they hadn’t even known we were coming.

No. This was wrong. I hadn’t been with the Neko when they’d done this. They were my people, yes, but I wasn’t a part of this. This was a masacre.

I found myself unable to control my body once again. I was just along for the ride. I hated not being able to do anything. I’d come to realize that these “dreams” were not actual dreams. Memories? Maybe? In any case, I knew that I was repulsed by the murder of these people.

It wasn’t that I was upset by the multitude of dead bodies. The death of others wasn’t a factor for me. Somewhere deep down I knew that our reasons for war with this people were wrong. I’d known they were wrong for a long time. I’m pretty sure that the “me” that was in this time had attempted to tell her superiors that Man wasn’t the barbaric evil that they’d thought they were. They had family and cared for one another, just like the Neko did.

She was reminded that she wasn’t the one who made decisions. When she attempted to protest further, her mate grabbed her by the back of the neck and forced to the ground and into a kneeling position. Her body reacted instinctively and instantly submitted to him. She didn’t need to be told that the conversation was over, nor did she need for him to continue to hold her neck, but he did so anyway.

“Any further discussion from you on this matter, Dania, will be treated as direct disobedience and disrespect to your mate.”

She couldn’t see who had spoken, but could tell from the sound of his voice that it was the High General. Her mate squeezed her neck tightly and his claws jabbed into her neck, not enough to break the skin, but enough to convey the message.

Our mate….

I had only begun to realize what “our mate” meant to me when the weight of disappointment came crashing down. The thought of disrespecting our mate made her feel ashamed. I felt it, too, and cried to myself as we sat there on the floor. If I could have picked my head up to look around, I don’t know that I would have, so my eyes stayed focused on a spot just in front of me.

The council got up and began to file out. Our mate whispered to us to remain where I was and the he would come back and get me. I was not to move, under any circumstances, until I was ordered to move.

Mere moments after the room cleared, I felt him behind me. I could tell by his presence alone that it was him. I wanted him to take me home so badly that I didn’t recognize his displeasure. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

*Crack!*

The sting of the whip erased all cognizant thought in my head. I began to cry again, even before she did. The pain coupled with the whip was too much to bear for me. Only it wasn’t. I found that as much as the whip hurt, it was his feelings at that moment that cut into me.

“Count! You know better than this. I taught you better!”

I counted his first lash, and the second, and the third. By the time the fourth one came I was beginning to feel light-headed and could feel the blood oozing down my back. When the seventh and eighth lashes came down, I couldn’t even understand the words I was trying to say. The ninth was accompanied but nothing more than a soft whimper and the knowledge that my back was a bloody mess. We passed out as the tenth lash connected.

*****

It wasn’t as late as I thought it would have been when I awoke. The Moon was directly overhead. I was restless and felt the need to be primal. My Cat needed an escape for awhile; to be free.

I lifted my head slightly so that I could see Roth’s face from where I was lying near his feet. It appeared that he was sleeping softly. In that moment, the sight of his chest rising and falling with each breath reminded me of the fight that we’d had; and of how I’d nearly killed him. I shuddered at that thought. Only a few days ago I had been ready to kill him, and now I would fight to the death to prevent that very thing. A small smile crept into the corners of my mouth as I thought that it was funny how things turned out sometimes.

It occurred to me that tonight the rise and fall of his chest was different. Tonight there was a quiet power inside of him that said he was no longer balanced on that thin line between life and death. I’d known that he would survive for days now. But he wasn’t fragile anymore. Tonight he felt like he was becoming Master of himself again.

As much as I reveled in the thought of him being in control, tonight I needed to let my Cat out to play. Even though my kind cannot turn into cats, we are feline nonetheless, we still had primal urges every now and then. These were the times when I’d go out into the night, not really having any direction in mind. I’d just go.

“You’ve referred to ‘our kind.’ You’re remembering.”

My Cat said this to me on some subconscious level that I didn’t register at the time. But she was right. I was remembering.

I loved to hunt when I was like this. Not for the kill, but just for the thrill of the hunt. I’d find some animal and stalk it for hours, never letting it know I was there. It filled me with joy when it would finally realize that something further up the ladder was stalking it. That joy intensified greatly when they would run. Not all of them would, you see. Some would just stand there, not moving a muscle, their fear having taken over completely. Those were boring and I lost interest.

But the ones who ran! Oh, they were fun.

I never killed during these hunts. But chasing them down and letting them go, and then chasing them down again, and then letting them go again. And chasing….you get the idea. This was when my Cat was at its happiest.

I know its not nice to play with your food, but if you’re not eating it, that’s not really what you’re doing. Is it?

I eased myself away from Roth and was about to head into the Forest when I hear, “Stay close enough you can hear me when I call.”

I had never realized he had been awake and was, therefore, startled. I froze. Should I stay or should I go? I was relieved when he made the decision for me and motioned for me to go. In a flash I was up in the trees making my way away from Roth.

I wanted to get far enough away from Roth so that he wouldn’t see me behaving as I planned. Something told me that he wouldn’t approve of me “playing with my food.” I could be wrong, but I didn’t want to take the chance.

I wanted to play with something big tonight. Something that would at least give me some sort of fight. I found myself waiting on a low-hanging branch for something to catch my attention. My greyish fur allowed me to blend in with the Moon’s light and I was all but invisible. Add in my feline tendencies to stealth and I was all but a ghost in the darkness.

I lie motionless for the better part of the night before I heard something coming my way. It smelled like a bear, probably a grizzly. And judging by the amount of noise it was making, it was quite large. No small animal would dare to make such a racket. I grew excited at the thought of what was about to transpire.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to knock him to the ground by pouncing on his back, but I did it anyways. I dug my claws into his shoulders and bit down on his neck. I knew that this would do nothing more than anger him. His hide was thick and I wouldn’t do much damage. He raised up on his hind legs and I threw myself backwards, throwing him off balance. I let go and rolled and he fell back. By the time he was back up, I was already crouched and in position to attack again. I wanted him to see who it was he was fighting so I delayed long enough for him to get a good look at me.

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t know what I was, but he didn’t care either. I had attacked him and he would kill me for it. Maybe even eat me later.

I came at him slowly. I had to show him that I wasn’t afraid of him. He raised up on his hind legs again, determined to show me his power. I took this opportunity to take a few quick slashes with my claws, leaving a few deep gashes on his thighs, and one on his abdomen. He roared out in pain and swiped at my head, missing, but not by much. I grabbed his arm with my hands and scratched the entire length of his arm. He was making this too easy.

I never saw the other paw as he hit me with it. His claws opened me up on my shoulder. I was looking up at him from my back now and he was getting ready to do whatever it is bears do when they attack when I saw two massive hands grab the bear by the head and twist. The bear was dead before he hit the ground and in his place was Roth.

“What are you doing?” I was completely enraged.

“You were in trouble, Cat.”

“I was doing just fine on my own. Why do you think I came out tonight? For a stroll under the moon?”

“Well you looked like you needed help. I was just trying to protect you.”

“Get over yourself. I’m perfectly fine taking care of myself.” I was up and attempting to be in his face, but his height prevented that, so I was basically yelling up to him. Rationality was not something that was taking place here. I’d come out tonight to let my cat play and he’d ruined it. “Listen Roth, I know this thing we have here is new and all, but sometimes I have to do things like this. I have to let my Cat out to play or I will go insane.”

“So what, you need to be challenged or something? Is that what you need” With that, he pushed me back, causing me to land on my ass.

At this point my Cat took over and attacked Roth. It was like I was sitting back observing this. And as much as I hate to admit it, I wanted the Cat to win.

I tackled Roth to the ground and attempted to slash his face, but he grabbed my wrists. With him still holding onto me, I jumped up and pushed off of his chest with me feet which caused him to release me. I flipped over backwards and landed on my feet. Before I could recover, he was on me again. He grabbed me and picked me up and flung me. I hit a tree and slid to the ground. Not wanting to give him a chance to do this again, I climbed the tree a few feet and jumped from one tree to another, gradually circling Roth and then pouncing on him.

I dug my teeth into his shoulder as I clung to his back for dear life. He managed to grab my hair and twist his hand in it and then snatch me off and slam me to the ground. My breath was knocked out of me and for a brief moment I couldn’t see anything. The next thing I felt was Roth’s massive foot on my stomach. He pushed down on me so hard and he was so heavy. I clawed at his foot and punched as hard as I could, but it had no effect on him.

I had almost passed out and had let my hands fall back to the ground. One of my hands landed on a small branch. I stabbed his foot with this and he let go. I scrambled to my feet and managed to put some distance between the two of us. I had to get my breath back. I made my way into a tree and into the branches, concealing myself as best I could. I hoped that he wouldn’t find me right away.

Roth searched for me for a moment and quickly became agitated. He stopped right up under my tree and let out a guttural roar. I could feel the waves of anger coming off of him. It wasn’t anger towards me, but anger that he couldn’t find me. I didn’t let him finish. I descended from the tree landing on his head, knocking him to the ground. Before he could get up and attack, I kicked him in the gut and then jumped on his back again. This time, however, my head was towards his lower back and my feet towards his head. I used my tail to wrap around his throat and hold on. I wasn’t chocking him by any means, but it did distract him a little.

I bit into his lower back several times and dug my claws into his sides up to my first knuckle. I wasn’t surprised when he was able to grab me and throw me off. He was, however, surprised when I held on with my tail, preventing me from going far at all. I let go and crawled through his legs to get behind him and I kicked him in the ass as hard as I could.

He stumbled a step and then kicked back with his right foot, catching me in the mouth and splitting my lip open. The taste of my own blood shocked me long enough for him to turn around. I stood up ready for his attack. Everything in my posture told him that I was ready for whatever he threw at me. Only I wasn’t expecting him to really throw something at me.

The log hit me in the gut and knocked me back into a tree. Before I could fall to the ground Roth had me by the throat. The look in his eyes told me that he was enjoying this as much as I was. He then kissed me and threw me to the ground. I can’t tell you why, but that kiss sent me into a frenzy. I began hurtling insults at him while I tried my best to slash his eyes out. I never got to his eyes, but his arms were a bloody mess. I took some satisfaction in that.

That satisfaction was soon taken away when he told me that I was “cute” when I was angry. I didn’t know what cute meant, but I didn’t like it. To me, it sounded like something weak. And I was not weak. I wanted nothing more than to rip his throat out and piss down the hole. And I tried. But I couldn’t get close enough to him. He kept throwing limbs, and logs, and stones at me. And the few times I got close enough to do any harm, he would throw me.

I finally managed to grab hold of him and I was determined to not let go. I even had my tail wrapped around his leg. He shook me from left to right, and up and down, but I would not let go. Finally he just fell on top of me. His weight pushed the wind out of me and my grip loosened enough for him to be free. He stood and kicked me in the gut one last time.

The next thing I know, Roth is twisting his massive hand in my hair again and using it to pull me to my feet. He pulls me over to a gigantic boulder and bends me over it. I thought he was going to bash my head into it or something.

Surprise cannot describe the sensation I felt when his hand made contact with my rear. I knew I’d become excited from the fight, and this did only served to increase my arousal. Each blow felt like I’d been punched and knocked the wind out of me. I was becoming light-headed, both from arousal and pain and I needed to hold onto the rock to keep me upright.

My knees were beginning to get weak so I told him I needed to stop. That if I didn’t, then I would fall.

“You will stand where you are until I tell you you can move,” was his only reply. I trusted that he wouldn’t cause me any real harm so I kept going. I continued to stand. As light-headed as I was, I still couldn’t deny the fact that this felt good for me. I’d already orgasmed once and was well on my way to another. I had the feeling that I would pass out from the next.

I did have that orgasm and briefly passed out. My head hung limp for a moment before I came to and realized what had just happened. In the most base, fundamental way, this felt good for me. It felt right.

Cat: “Of course it does.”

I loved it. At this particular moment, there was no rationale, there was no clear thinking. This was as basic as basic can get.

Roth pulled me to him and wrapped his tree-like arms around me. My knees began to buckle and I told him that I couldn’t stand any longer.

His only words as he lowered me to the ground were, “I know.”

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was him saying, “Good Kitty.”

*****

Off in the distance, near where the Meh-teh have now settled, there is a small rumbling of thunder in a cloudless sky.

*****

“Dania, wake up.”

It took me a second to open my eyes. Roth was telling me that it was raining and that we should find some shelter. We managed to find a nearby cave before we were completely soaked.

“Where did that come from?”

“It does rain sometimes, Roth.”

“No, I head thunder coming from a ways off, but there was no cloud in the sky that I could see. And then here, clouds seemed to form out of nowhere and the rain came down. Very odd.”

I had no idea how he wanted me to respond to his, nor how I would if he had. I was asleep and hadn’t seen what he did. But even with how strange he thought things were, I couldn’t help but think about the night before. My Cat had been sated and then some, but I was still a little steamed about the whole thing.

“Roth, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why did you follow me last night? I mean, you knew I was getting up and even told me to stay close. But why follow me?”

This clearly wasn’t the question he was expecting. “Well for one, you didn’t stay close. And . . .”

“But the only way you would have known that was if you’d followed me.” I cut him off.

“And I guess,” he continued, “a part of me was curious to see just where you were going and what you were up to. Cats aren’t the only curious things, you know.”

“Then why not just ask me. It kinda feels like you didn’t trust me to be alone.” The fact that he didn’t trust me in my own woods upset the hell out of me.

Cat: “Why are you wanting his trust at all?”

“Would you have told me? I have to admit, following you didn’t really do me much good. I stood still for half the night and I still don’t know what it was you were doing.”

“If you must know…”

“I must,” he interrupted.

“Every once in awhile I have the urges to be wild….primal. I call it letting my Cat out to play. I’ll usually stalk some animal for awhile, maybe play with it some and then let it go. I hardly ever kill it though.”

“So you picked on a grizzly? That doesn’t exactly sound too smart. And it looked like it was ready to kill you.”

“I had everything under control.” With this, I leaned into him and put my head on his chest.

“I was only trying to help,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn’t see the smile on his face.

“Look Roth, I know that. But if I don’t let go every now and then, I will go insane. I’m talking about going bat-shit-crazy.”

I was surprised to hear him laugh and at first I thought he was laughing at what I’d said. “Listen Cat, I think you missed what I did tonight. As soon as I’d killed the bear, I kinda knew what you were trying to do. And I knew that you wouldn’t find another worthy animal tonight, so I filled in. I pushed you into the fight because I knew that’s what you needed. You needed that struggle.”

I had no words to respond so I just listened to the beat of his heart. Sometimes it caught me off guard at how well he knew me. I mean, was I that easy to read? At last I said, “What if I’d hurt you?”

“You did a little. But I learned from our first fight. I knew what to expect from you. I just wasn’t expecting you to be so fierce. But at least you didn’t hit me over the head with a rock this time.”

“So are you going to follow me the next time I let my cat out to play?”

“I’ve actually been thinking about that and the answer is no. But when that time comes again, let me be that animal. There is nothing in this Forest that can give you the challenge that I can, and you know that. So, no I’m not going to follow you. You’re going to stay with me and we’ll have it out.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“It will. But if by some chance it doesn’t then we’ll try something new.”

Part of me didn’t think it would, but I wanted to trust his judgment.

“Its time for us to go back to the Meh-teh. By now they must have assumed that I’m either dead or not coming back and the Moon cycle is almost complete.”

“Roth, you just assume that I’m going back with you……I don’t know that I want that. I like my life the way it was. Why would I give all of that up to live with a people who don’t trust me and will probably never accept me?”