“Wow.”
I was looking at my bank statement. The figures before me were staggering. I knew this might happen, but I wasn’t prepared for how I would respond.
I had done it. I had shown restraint. Moderation. The women I had seen were beautiful. One of them was so deep in my head I thought of her constantly. But I still had most of the money I had saved up for my new place. That was the kind of responsible behavior I didn’t think I was capable of. I may have to settle for a 65″ rather than a 72″ TV, but I was pretty sure I would be OK.
The image of my wife came into view. That would be an interesting phone call. “Hi honey, I’ve finally become responsible. I even subscribe to webcam women who are so beautiful they made me able to cum again. But I haven’t blown all my money on them! I’m capable of doing this. Will you take me back now?”
Someday, maybe. I have a different problem right now. I am in love. I am in love with a woman who is only 26 years old. I’m 62. She makes more money when men fall in love with her. I am in love with a webcam model. I am in love with Sonya.
But is it all fake? I don’t doubt she is a smart person. She is very popular as a webcam model. Yet I want more. I ache to be in a real situation with her physically. I want to make love to her and not have it be my hand I feel but her actual pussy. I also long to be with her as a companion. To sit and have coffee with. To work out with her. To go with her to movies or whatever she likes to do. I’m old enough to be her grandfather, but when we chat or she sends me a message it seems as if I am talking to a good friend.
I have fallen for her completely. I have fallen for a webcam model. Yet I don’t feel like a pathetic loser. I can’t explain how she is. She knows things most young women her age don’t. She is confident in her abilities. She doesn’t start trying to milk tips and presents from me the minute I enter her site. She is classy and more real than many women I meet in my own life.
Oh what the heck. She is probably dating a huge brute who would smash my face in for even thinking this way. She is physically capable of smashing it in herself. If I suddenly showed up at her doorstep in the far off country she lives in, she probably would beat me senseless and then have me tossed in some prison from which there is no escape.
But I don’t think so. She is too kind. What would probably happen is that I would just ruin this gift. This wonderful relationship that depends on her keeping her privacy. Why would I want to ruin that?
Because I’m going through emotions I haven’t had since I was in my 20s. I think about her and talk with her in my mind. I probably drive her nuts trying to talk about the stories I write while others in the chat are buzzing away at that vibrator thing between her legs. The reality is I’m just a chump. Her skill worked and now I would do anything she asked of me. How will I ever get through this?
Sonya has the answer. She always does.
It is fantasy time.
This might get confusing. The real webcam girl has a name, but I call her Sonya. Sonya and I share fantasies. Sometimes she is Sonya in those fantasies as well, like parts of the witch story you just finished.
For this story I will try and be consistent with calling her a different name. Tissaia. Yes, the hot instructor for the young sorceresses in The Witcher.
———————
The women strolled by trying not to make it too obvious that they were looking at him. His deep blue eyes seemed to notice everything. He was looking for someone. They could only wish it might be them. He stood 6’4″ and carried his weight as if he had seen a few fights. He wasn’t particularly muscular or wiry, but still was in good enough shape to catch a few glances from women. His nose had been broken at least once, but he had his full set of teeth. They noticed this when he flashed them a smile only Hollywood could appreciate.
“Excuse me ladies, I am looking for directions to downtown. Do you speak English?”
He was an American. Did they dare let him know they could understand him? Ever since the clown Donald Trump had failed to get re-elected, the relationship between their country and the US had become quite frosty. Dissidents were starting to disappear again. Tensions were running high.
Tissaia stood off in the distance and followed the young women’s every move. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Why on earth had he done this? How had he found her? Was he really willing to risk everything, including his life, just to meet her?
“Krasivyye sis’ki.”
Some creepy construction worker looking type guy was staring at her chest. Her blouse had fallen open. She didn’t often wear a bra, but happened to have one on that day. She buttoned the blouse up and gave the guy a few choice words to let him know he was lucky to have his balls intact. He ran off.
Tissaia almost approached the foolish old man looking for her. It wasn’t clear whether she wanted to admonish him for overstepping his bounds or warn him of how dangerous the stunt he had pulled was. He could easily disappear here. If he was telling the truth, he was homeless in the US and might not be missed. He was estranged from his family and his sons no longer spoke to him. His ex-wife might notice his absence, but would she pursue it? She might just be thankful for the peace and quiet.
She decided to slip out of sight and turn the other way.
Tissaia made a living teasing tokens out of customers as a webcam model. She took pride in her work. She had always tried to remain classy and romantic, but also was into domination of sorts. She had to be in control. This was not something she was in control of. He was completely insane. The fool she just saw on the street was a hopeless romantic that showered her with gifts and tips and even wrote romantic stories about her that he posted online. He got anything he wanted. So long as it was virtual. This was not virtual.
He was very sweet, however. Could she really just leave him there to his fate? He had told her, and anyone else bothering to read it, how medication was ruining his sexual function. After getting off of the medication, he stumbled across her webcam and she coaxed him to a tremendous orgasm. It was the first time he had cum in 10 years. The sheets must have been a mess! He had been nothing but a gentleman since and it was obvious he was falling deeply in love with her webcam personality. It just so happened she was not a fake person online, so he was falling in love with the real her.
She almost turned around to go greet him, but then she remembered something else stupid he had done. He had visited HER. The new girl. The one with the big boobs that always had a busy site despite the fact that she barely spoke English and did nothing but bob her head and lick her lips. The fool even wrote a fantasy story about her! Oh, he would pay for that. He could rot. What he saw in the other girl she couldn’t tell. Her boobs were just as nice, if not better. Her ass was what she was most proud of and put the others to shame. ALL of the others. And she had been so kind to him.
He said things that made her feel beautiful. Was he just a fake? Was his professed love for her just a fabricated story like the ones he posted online? The stories were free. He had no reason to try and mislead her. He really was just a kind and lonely old man that had a romantic side and the ability to put it in writing. She actually did enjoy his stories.
Except the one about the young Latino woman. It was well written and had a very happy ending. But it was about HER. That would never be acceptable.
————–
Steve hadn’t seen her but his agent had, who didn’t need to follow her. He had already seen where she was headed and had set up an intercept. He would signal Steve when she arrived.
Steve had hired the agent once he knew he was going to make this foolhardy move. He wasn’t quite sure which country she lived in, so he needed someone able to cover as much as possible. They all had a border with Russia, but were diverse in both language and culture. Jesker gave him his best chance.
They had to be careful how they communicated with each other. Cellphones using a US SIM card would stick out like a sore thumb. They weren’t committing espionage, they were just hunting for a 26 year old webcam model. They might have a tough time convincing whatever government captured them of that, however.
When he first told Jesker that he wanted to find Tissaia because he had fallen so deeply in love with her, Jesker got up to leave. It was only his coin that convinced him to go through with it. All of his coin. Everything he had saved up over the past two years to get his own place. He was acting completely irrationally. A reawakened heart can do that.
The two women were no help, but were kind. That was one thing Steve had noticed here. People still were decent and seemed to value courtesy and respect. The US had tossed that out the window. It had started before Trump, but he and his followers took it to a disgustingly low level. The US had lost nearly all respect outside of its borders. Joe Biden had his work cut out for him.
Steve didn’t have a clue how he really should search for her. An image would probably just be recognized by someone who would warn her. Sometimes it seemed like the webcam site looked familiar for each model. Was it coincidence or did some share a stage? Was he dumb enough to ask where all the webcam models did their filming? That was guaranteed to get him castrated and deported. If such a building existed, it had to be highly protected. It was full of beautiful women and most were wearing nothing at all. The average guy wouldn’t be allowed near the place.
So he wandered. He asked about a woman so beautiful she melted men’s hearts. She had the finest ass on the planet..That was all he went on. Most people just laughed. Yet somehow he had been guided right to her.
The buzz came from Jesker’s text. Steve never did get used to texting on a flip phone, but these were straight from each country they had visited. Of course they could have bought the latest smartphones, but Jesker would dig until he found a place selling these relics. They didn’t have an English option. Steve used his translation book.
They had found her!
—————–
Jesker couldn’t believe he was helping this old pervert find a woman he had started following on a webcam. This was stalking. It broke all the rules for privacy. It was only going to leave the old man with a broken heart. It was against what little of a code Jesker followed. It wasn’t even paying him that well!
But for some reason he was doing it. He really couldn’t say why. It was easy enough. He knew this part of the world well. A lot of the adult entertainment consumed by western culture was coming from right here. The women here were more natural and down to earth. The Americans must be growing tired of all the plastic tits and fake personalities.
Jesker had no need for any of it. Porn, webcams, erotic stories? Those were for losers like his client that couldn’t get some in real life. He had no problem with that. It didn’t hurt that he looked like a cross between Jason Mamoa and Kit Harrington. His deep brown eyes and rippling muscles were usually all it took to get a beautiful young woman in bed with him. He also had the equipment needed to get the job done from there.
Steve was approaching. Jesker had picked a small cafe that was out of sight, but close enough to her apartment to know if she left. Steve sat down across from him.
I can’t believe you found her,” Steve said. He looked nervous. And wary, almost scared. It was that look which brought Jesker to give probably the most important advice he had ever given.
“I found her. Now turn around and go home.”
“You have to be kidding. I spent every dime to my name to find her. I’m not going to stop now!”
“That is precisely why you are going to stop now. You are acting like a fool. Do you think she will be impressed? Not at all. She will have you arrested.”
“You picked a hell of a time to go Dr. Phil on me, Jesker. Or was this all a scam? It was you that I happened to give every dime to. Was this part of your plan all along?”
“No, and I will give every dime back.” Jesker looked serious.
Steve wondered what would make a mercenary like Jesker suddenly give up his contract. Then it dawned on him. “You’ve fallen for her as well, haven’t you?” He asked. “She does have the finest ass on the planet, doesn’t she?”
“I didn’t notice.”
“Horseshit.”
“Stop interrupting the guy willing to give you a full refund. I’m not interested in her. Not because I think she is ugly or has a fat ass or anything like that. It is because I now know she is real.”
“You are really not making sense right now.”
“OK, let me spell this out for you. I thought this would be a wild goose chase. I was perfectly willing to run around spending your money while we chased this needle in a haystack. But we found her. I’ll be damned if I know how, but we were led right to her. Based on a description of a ‘beautiful woman with a fine ass!'” Do you know how many women that describes?”
“A lot,” replied Steve. “The finest ass on the planet describes only one, however.”
“You have got to be the stupidest man on the planet. I thought you were a Doctor!”
“I was.” Steve begrudged. “So we actually found her. Do you give refunds to those clients for which you are successful, or is there something else going on?”
“She is living with someone, isn’t she. Someone huge and terrifying.”
“Who she lives with shouldn’t matter. You are her webcam client. Nothing more. What she is in her own life has nothing to do with you.”
Steve was still determined. “Please tell me. I just want to know who she really is. Look at it from my perspective. This 26 year old woman has been so kind and so easy to talk to. I feel like she is either a gift from God, or that the Devil has completely played me.”
“It’s a woman. And before your wrinkled ass starts getting sexist, either one could kick your ass.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Her partner? I would say so.”
“Do they look happy together?”
“Yes.”
—————–
There are moments in life that you look back on and realize that you stopped being in control. Some think it is just a coincidence, others believe it is a “higher power” which is defined by themselves. A God for which they pick and choose what to believe.
Steve wasn’t a preacher. He had no idea what forces there were in the universe. He had tried to be a good person, but failed at everything he had ever tried. He was a lonely man desperate enough to chase after a young woman halfway around the world simply because she brought about an intense passion in him, both physically and emotionally. Or was the feeling he had a deep spiritual need that she fulfilled? They hadn’t exactly done things one would associate with the Church. If he stood up to give his testimony and said that a webcam girl had finally healed his broken heart and helped him to find peace, he would be tossed off the stage and out of the community.
But what if that was what was happening? God doesn’t work in easily defined patterns. He uses Christian persecutors, tax collectors, prostitutes, and even murderers to do his work. Have we all forgotten that? Have we forgotten that until a person’s soul is completely lost, there is still good in them? Doesn”t anyone remember Luke Skywalker saving his father?
The ironic thing? Many may think that because Sonya was an adult entertainer, she was the one who needed saving. That is just their closed minded bias. She was beautiful because God made her that way. She could talk with you and speak on a real and decent level because God made her a good person.
Steve wasn’t saving her. She was saving Steve.
When he finally realized that, he could let go. He felt the pain open up and flow out of him like someone had sliced his jugular. He wasn’t overwhelmed with happiness. He just felt the relief of getting it all out. He also felt a new confidence building, and a sense of direction. He had been mortally wounded, but he had survived. This was the moment in the hospital when the doctors realized you had made it. You were going to survive.
Jesker was stunned that Steve had actually backed down. But Steve had a new look in his eyes. A distant, sad, but steady look. The kind of look a person has after an emotional farewell and then they are looking over the railings as the ship sails away. A look of moving on to a new phase in their life.
——————-
Sonya was crying. Beth looked at her and was crying as well. “He really does love you, doesn’t he. Should I be worried?”
Sonya shoved her gently and they laughed.
“Why do you keep telling everyone he looks like Harrison Ford? He hasn’t once turned on his own camera..”
“He did send me those pics”
“Oh ya!” Beth laughed. “He was cute when he was young, but looked like the old man version of Chevy Chase in that Goofy hat.”
Beth looked at her warmly. “You are so kind to him. Everyone falls in love with you. Well, the decent ones at least, but he really went off the deep end. Did he ever say what he did in his fantasy to get you to forgive him? You did see him stalking you.”
“He did.”
“And?”
“He sent me a ring. A wedding ring.”
“Really?” Beth sat up. “That is kind of pathetic.”
Sonya stood up and went to her dresser. She pulled out a small envelope that had previously been opened.
“This showed up in our post long ago. He said the ring wasn’t for me. It was for you.”
“What?”
“He said to wait until I knew for sure we were ready.” Sonya pulled a beautiful diamond ring out of the envelope, dropped to a knee, and presented it to Beth.
“Oh Sonya, Oh God. Now I will never stop crying.”