Perhaps dying isn’t as easy as I have been finding it to be. Sitting here on my own as the clock has run into another 00.00 and into another year, I can’t really tell. Perhaps the new year will be good for dying in. If not, then I guess I won’t be having an easy time of it. Quite possibly the only difference between dying the easy way and dying the hard way simply is one of those things, you know, one of those things you care about in theory but then in practice you find yourself too busy to notice much. I don’t know, and even if I did it probably wouldn’t really translate into comprehensible words all that well, seeing as the thought itself rarely gets, well, thought. Anyways, the fireworks are almost done with outside my window and I wasn’t planning on writing what-ever-this-is to moan about dying. Not really. Therefore, I will write something short and sweet about love, lovers found and perhaps something of loneliness lost, loveliness and longing hoped for and wishful blue things. Ahem. Onwards, then.
The day I first came across my princesses was not particularly different from most other days. If I remember it right, it had been raining since early morning and by late evening still did. I was sitting on my windowsill and if I was doing anything besides staring at the lightly falling rain it would have been somewhat hard to tell. Even for me, the soft thoughts and even softer imaginings lay across my field of vision and daydreams came and went. Seen from the outside I simply sat there doing nothing while staring unfocusedly out the window. Perhaps I might have hummed some melody off and on, I don’t know. If I did, what is was I can’t remember.
Seeing fleeting dreams bloom, fade and die in rather haphazard ways, eventually one stayed. An image of a fairy tale castle and a merry little road leading windingly up to it over meadows and small hills, green grass and clear, blue skies with gossamer clouds drifting from nowhere to nowhere, all in a gentle, fuzzy way. As if painted by crayon, perhaps, but in a masterful way. In such castles lives the very best princesses, and in this particular castle there lived two. Both young and gloriously beautiful, of course, seeing as they were made of dreams and longing, innocent and quite brave they were. Two little miracles, one made of fire and one made of gold, dressed in gentlest white.
“One could tell you of the poetry made so easily found by your presences”, I said after having entered the castle, “or tell you of loveliness found in other ways, my highnesses.”
“Truly, both seem to be nice ways to carry a conversation well and goodly spoken you be”, replied the redhaired princess shyly, “and seldom do my sister and I get to hear such words so I thank you most gratefully for speaking thus, sir …?”
Having told them my name, Alfred of Wyrd, the previously silent princess told me her name was Lani and that her sister was named Blue. Telling me to follow them into the castle proper, they led the way through a few hallways and eventually out a wooden door, beyond which lay a small garden. A bubbling little brook ran under a bridge, across which an open space could be seen. A tree stood at the far end of the garden, and a pleasant smell of flowers drifted gently in the air from the blossoms found here and there in little clusters of color.
“I would perhaps be presumptuous to believe you have brought me here for such a reason as is brought to mind by such beauty so close in proximity were we to sit down”, I said softly, “seeing as we would have to seek to fit all of us into that quite small space.”
“I do believe you are overly cautious, sir Alfred, and quite possibly do you hold our modesty in overly high regard. Propriety is all well and good, but truly, loneliness can make it feel so very much in the way …,” Blue said sweetly, “and my sister and I are so rarely blessed with guests that it so very often is just to her I can turn to for relief when lonely.”
“That loneliness I have too felt, and while my sister and I might find some solace in each other, we are still both girls and the ways of seeking relief we have learned often feels not to be enough. Having finally someone here with us is making me want to… do things.”
“If that is what you have in mind, Lani, and if your sister be of likewise wish possessed,” I said and caught the nod from Blue clearly letting me know that she was, “then I will not speak untruly to you and say I would not enjoy such games of love shared between us. I will speak true words and say I would not only find such pastimes enticing but also thrilling beyond what most can only hope for ever to find.”
“We are glad to hear those words spoken, sir Alfred, truly we are. Will you teach us these games of love you so wickedly mentioned only in faintest silhouette and thus leaving both me and my sister left wondering, truly sir such rogueish ways makes a princess into a beggar for hearing more,” Lani said and met my eyes innocently, openly speaking her mind.
“I am truly glad, too,” Blue murmured, “but I don’t know what to do now. When it is just Lani and me we would undress then we would watch each other touch ourselv-”
Blushing furiously, Blue stopped mid-word when she realized she was speaking not only aloud but to someone besides her sister. Her eyes darted up from behind lowered lashes and met mine and it seemed to increase her courage when I held her gaze and smiled, letting her know I wanted to hear more. Lani was kneeling next to her sister and looking first at her, then at me, quite obviously beginning to get excited.
“Do you know that saying things like what you just said will get most any man excited, Blue? When you talk about what you do when on your own I believe almost anyone, certainly so I, will want to hear more. See you do it in his head until he is almost mad, or at least I find that to be true. Can you please move closer to your sister, then if you want to obey such a lewd order, show me how you play with each other when you need relief.”
“Sometimes I like it when Lani puts her finger in my bottom, Alfred, but I have never let her try with two… when she makes me take her finger all the way into my behind it really hurts sometimes, and a few times she has made me cry doing that. I have been wanting to say no, but she would just tell me to stop being a silly girl if I did, then tell me if I didn’t ask for her to use my bottom nicely she would get angry. I don’t ever want to make her angry, but having to do things like spread open my buttocks for her or to beg on my knees sometimes makes me wish she would stop liking to put things up that hole…”
“Well, Blue, when you tell me that but don’t show me, I sort of want to make you do things with your cute little bottom for me so I have enough material for an opinion.”
“… what do you want to do, Alfred? I can show you how it looks when I have to do some things but some I can’t do myself… and you look at me like she does when she wants to see me when I have to do things that hurt, too. Will you make me do those things, you too?”
“Well, I want to… but I want to see you do those things that hurts and then make you feel good, too. You have the most beautiful little bottom, Blue, and I can’t help but want to put things there. When you feel that it hurts you make the cutest faces and make the sweetest little noises, you know, and that makes me so excited.”
“… well, if you really like it that much, I will let you use me that way. Just please don’t forget to do something nice for me later since you are making me do anal even though it will hurt for me…,” she said before mumbling under her breath, “… and please be quick to finish and please, please, let me not cry this time.”
Speaking louder again, she asked what she would have to do first. Told to move over to a wooden table just high enough for her to bend at the waist, she looked back over her shoulder and met my eyes, holding my gaze, before she reached for her buttocks. With both hands, one on each side of her lovely bottom, she spread her behind for me. Seeing both jaded acceptance and sweet innocence in her eyes as she kept her buttocks separated, I sent my undying gratitude her way for her willingness to endure such as this for my finding of pleasure in them.
“This is embarrassing,” Blue complained, speaking in a low volume, “do you think I enjoy spreading my bottom for you like this? What is it you like anyway, when you make me do this? Is it seeing my, you know, bottom hole that makes you make me spread my buttocks like this?”
“Well, yes. Seeing you bend over like this makes your behind look particularly good, and when you spread your buttocks you are letting me see something usually hidden away from sight and your asshole is pretty cute in itself. Will you please put your right hand middle finger in there for me? Slowly, Blue, and tell me what you are doing.”
“I am putting my middle finger in my bottom,” Blue said a little hesitantly, “because Alfred told me I have to do anal things for him. Like that? I can try to remember to talk if you like it that much, even if it is a little embarrassing.”
“That is very, very good, Blue. Now, I know you probably will hate me for this, but I want you to put your middle and ring fingers in your bottom for me. Just like you are doing now, Blue, just add that second finger for me. Let me see your face, too, little princess. When you make these faces at me and make those whimpering noises you are truly beautiful, did you know?”
“Now I have to put two of my fingers in my little butt for the first time while Alfred watches me do it…” she tells me quietly, “… and I went and promised I would do anal so I have to do it now even if right now when I push another finger in my asshole it hurts pretty bad. The feeling of having two fingers in my little bottom like this just because Alfred likes to see the faces I make when it hurts. Likes to hear me whimper when I have to put two of my fingers in my ass. He will probably like it even more if I try to push them deeper into that hole… like it when I can see a few tears rise into my view… meaning if I close my eyes a little he can see them… oh sweet lady of Mercy it hurts really bad when I make myself push deeper with my fingers… but it feels a little good if I barely move them… even with two if I go not so deep it really does feel good… maybe this is what he told me he wanted anal to feel for me… after the stupid pain…”
Having either forgotten I was still there or fallen into a state of mind where her thoughts easily could be vocalized, she kept talking in a murmuring sort of half whisper, half whimper. For me, hearing her was like hearing a submissive little angel singing joyful hymns softly to herself. I was having no trouble what so ever to maintain stiffness, not even remotely getting any less hard despite not touching myself beyond holding my member in my hand. Her somewhat shakily taken path from painful favor done unwillingly entirely for another’s pleasure to halfway fallen tears to first feeling of enjoyment had been a miracle all on it’s own to see. Her vocalized thoughts was truly akin to magic.
“… it feels good even when I push my fingers as deep as I can now… if I keep going a little more I think I can come… from anal… from being told to put… two fingers in my ass… little bit more… nnnh… little… mmmh… more… nnnnh… gonna co…nnnh…come… noo-nnnh-NNH-NNHMH!”
When she was brought over the edge of herself she trembled like a willow tree in a storm, gently but all-encompassing. Her sweet little moans, girlish yelps and her rapidly rising then falling breaths were quite amazing to hear, and that she still had her fingers in her bottom as she lay trying to find her way back down from that climax still bent over that table made her look incredibly beautiful. Like a devilish little angel fallen by accident from her lonely heavens down to Earth seeking relief in love.
“That was a truly beautiful sight you gave me, little one. Truly.” I told her this without any trace of insincerity or false praise. Her shy smile and still half her eyes full of her climaxborn clouds was a gift all on their own when she looked over her shoulder at me. “I am glad you did that for me. Really, truly glad, Blue.”
“I didn’t think I ever would change my mind about anal, and I’m still gonna make you do really nice things for me for letting you talk me into doing it, but there really was a good place I could get to there at the end it seems. Just like you said.”
“You looked so cute when you came, too. Like as if made of magic.”
“Well, now… saying such things makes me feel like you must have liked what you got to see. Did you?”
“Do you want me to tell you more nice things or can I get away with admitting I liked to see you when you thought it hurt and when you got to that good place both?”
“Guess you can’t help liking me in that first way, can you? You should have been hearing some of what I thought of you when you made me try to put those two fingers in my bottom hole. At first I almost cried from how painful it was and I wanted you see you dead, truly I did. Thinking of you standing there watching me try that for the first time was not that bad, though, and thinking of you enjoying it when I do anal things for you and the little things you said about how I looked cute making those faces and what was it, ‘girl noises’ when it hurt for me stayed on my mind all the way until I came.”
“Perhaps you would let me talk you trying anal again sometime then?”
“Not entirely out of the question. What do you want to do if I agree to let you use my little bottom again?”
“That is something I would much rather answer while you use your mouth on me, Blue. If you could go down on your knees here in front of me and do your very best I will think of an answer to that question for you.”
“You are hopeless.” This she said with a sweet smile, “but I guess if I gag on your dick a little and maybe tell you what I think about in between that and making some “girl noises” perhaps you will have to think really hard to come up with an answer, don’t you think? Oh, and please, please sir, can I please be allowed to put your dick in my mouth? Please, I want to be a good little princess and gag on your cock, please let me…”
“Talk like that and you will have me go blind, Blue, blind, deaf and mentally deranged from being made to come that goddamn hard. I will think of what I want to try if you agree to try anal again, but if you want to do what you just … ahh… nnn… good girl Blue… good princess, perf…aah…ect… hnnh… you…”
Well, seeing her with those innocent-yet-daring eyes when she is made to gag on my cock going from almost closed from reflexive tension when it happens to still almost closed but relaxed after her control is returned to her when the involuntary movements ends into her opening her eyes and looking up at mine ever so impishly and ever so brave… that is enough for me to forget I exist as anything but a reason for her to look that way. Hearing her make those ever beautiful little noises girls make when they aren’t really thinking of saying anything besides conveying a feeling or a mood, when they simply are telling their stories of love, pain, dreams or suchlike things. Add a healthy bit of those, add some spice and stir carefully and you have made me a drink of pure ambrosia.
“… and maybe I want to, you know, have your cock be what is making me want you to stop… I mean, if you absolutely have to see me in that way I guess it could be okay… if you make me do things that hurts for me to do to myself anyway… I think if I really know you like to make it hurt for me… and when I like it too… maybe I will like it more if you hurt my bottom… with your cock… I will let you… try… if you make me… do anal again… now…”
Hearing this dreamed-of fairy tale princess not only fall into a fantasy of submissive seraphim and wishes fulfilled first didn’t register as it came interspersed with this wonderful little thing kept her mouth running along my shaft, both pushing her head into me and forcing herself to gag on it and back far enough to let me slide out of her mouth so she might breathe as well as keeping up a lovely train of thoughts alive as written here above in moans, mumbles, whimpers and out-of-breath words.
“Blue.” I said softly, “why don’t you look up at me so I can tell you something?”
“Mmhm?” she answered and let me slip out of her mouth. Still resting her lips ever so lightly on the tip of my penis, she waited on me to speak again.
“I want Blue to let me fuck her little wonderful bottom. I want to push my dick in that hole and hear her fight back tears. I want to see her look that special magical way only she can look when she has to do anal and it hurts. I want her to want me dead when I first tell her she has to let me put my cock in her ass and I want her to tell me what she feels like. I want to hear tell me what I am doing to her and I want to hear her girl noises and see her make faces. But you know, what I want to see is you reaching that better place, too. I might like to see it hurt for you and even to see you cry but I want to follow you to that place where you go when you feel really, really good and I prefer to see you tremble like a willow tree in stormy days over seeing you beg for nothing but an end to what you been made to do. I want to see you as a lover should and as my submissive angel too.”
After that speech, it took a little while before Blue spoke. Ever so innocently, she kept her hand moving a little bit back and forth while she looked up at me still touching her lips to the tip of my erection softly. Her eyes had an inwards searching sort of look in them, slightly unfocused and very, very cute. When I thought of her thinking of letting me play out my fantasies of this admittedly more than a little twisted kind and letting me do so without having to drink away the shame of wanting her in such ways. Knowing the pleasure I get has to be paid for by someone else is a lot less fun if you actually don’t like the pain in and of itself. I guess that if that was what got your rocks off then that could be arranged rather easily. The part I so much enjoyed has much more to do with inner limits crossed and with roleplay, submissiveness and the giving of control. Quite a lot of what I loved had to do with the facial expressions and well, “girl noises”, too, and one can not tell lies about the lovely way a girl looks with one’s penis in her behind. Whatever the reason, her being a imagined princess of most beautiful kind and quite the lovely one at that, eventually she broke the monologue she had been following and apparently having reached a decision, nodded to herself.
“I think that hearing you think of me as a submissive angel in your head might have made me more glad than I would have thought being told a thing like that even could. Also, the way you keep telling me of these fantasies with your focus on things I didn’t even think about or small little things like making me talk really has been making me forget how I wished you dead from making me do anal just with my fingers before…” she said slowly and a bit waveringly, “and now you are talking me into letting you put your dick in my ass.”
“Actually,” I replied with a little smile trying to hide somewhat unsuccessfully, “that was you talking yourself into that a while back. I am just taking advantage of you having done so, really. I might have wanted you to do anal this way long before you, but fairly sure you actually said it first.”
“You made me want to be made to. Can you please make me a submissive little angel now?” she said bravely but much more quietly continued, “before I lose my nerve.”
“My little impish seraphim. Why don’t you stay there on your knees and beg me to use your bottom any way I please? You can beg, princess, can’t you? Little Blue can beg for anal in her own words but I want to hear you talk.”
“… please, Blue wants to be good, be a princess for you to play with, yes she does want that so very much… to be obedient and good… please Alfred, use Blue in any way you want… please let Blue show you she’s good…” she said while shyly looking up with a few strands of her red hair between her eyes and mine offering her a see-through veil from which to look through. She continued in a shimmering little fragile voice, “… Blue wants to be good, very good to you… please, please use Blue to make you hard down there… then use Blue’s bottom… Blue swears she will do anal even if she has to bite her pillow… Blue will do what you tell her to…”
At this point her talking alone would probably be able to bring me across the point of no return but coming already was not what I wanted, even if seeing her with a sticky smile or suchlike would be quite appealing. I could see that she was talking not only for my enjoyment but quite obviously for her own sake as well. I did not in any way mind hearing her build her own fantasy scenario underneath the framework of mine, making her part be something of her own was making her even more beautiful than what she already was. Her giddy excitement and slight dread of having to do anal turning into a submissive angel telling a lover she wanted to be told what to do.
“Blue should stand up and walk over to me,” I said with more than a little hoarse voice, “and if Blue would then show me how good she can be and show me how she can spit on her finger and then put it as far in her bottom as she can, slowly, even if it hurts.”