He said, She said

HE SAID, SHE SAID.

This is based on a misunderstanding. I wasn’t sure whose perspective to tell it from, so settled for both. The main characters don’t understand exactly what’s happening, but the readers do. Apologies for the OTT allergy reaction. But it could happen, so in my fiction it does.

“I wouldn’t make love with him, like I do with you.” Eileen said. “It would be pure sex. You know, physical rather than emotional.”

“I know,” replied Doug. “you told me, and I believe you. But I’m still not convinced I like the idea. I don’t think I’d get an erection, watching you having sex with another man. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be interested in hearing all about it afterwards.”

“Wow!” she laughed. “This is a breakthrough! Not so many years ago you were reluctant to even discuss such a thing. Now you’re saying ‘pretty sure’ and ‘I don’t think’. I do believe I’m getting through to you!”

Doug smiled and kissed her. It had taken them ten years to get to this stage.

“Maybe I’m leaning towards the idea, but make no mistake Eileen, I’m not there yet! Though I do enjoy lusting after other women!”

“And so you should. We’d better recap the rules, just in case tonight is the night.”

He grinned and went along with it.

“Just in case.” he mimicked.

“I will never have sex with another man, with or without you watching, unless you say I can.”

“Right.”

“But if you ever do agree, I can do anything I want with him; oral and anal, rough or gentle.”

“That’s fair. In the unlikely event I ever give permission, there’s no point in indulging a fantasy with restrictions. If I had another woman, the same rules would apply.”

“The thing is, we’ve never really sown our wild oats. I have no regrets about that, and if I go to my grave having only ever had you, I’ll be happy. But we’re nearly fifty now. time’s running out.”

“I know what you’re saying and I’m not the kind of man that thinks my wife is my property. In principle, I’m the type who might be expected to agree to this. The problem is you’re just too damn sexy!”

“Thank you. But that’s a problem, how?”

“I’d be more likely to say go ahead and have sex with this or that guy, if I was getting a crack at some good-looking women; like swingers do. But you give me everything a man could desire, and more. I’m not really interested in anyone else. She could never compare to you.”

“That’s a lovely compliment, dear. But comparing is what it’s all about. Nothing to do with his penis, or her breasts. It’s just trying someone different. Not better or worse, just different. Anyway, enough. If it never happens, so be it. I’m delighted you’re even thinking about it.”

The truth was Doug enjoyed these conversations, and he had been thinking about it. Was there really any harm in a little fun on the side? He and Eileen had been married many years now, and were still in good shape. He openly lusted after other women and she after other men. There were even occasions when she would nudge him and point out a particularly attractive woman. ‘How about her?’ she’d joke. ‘Very sexy’ he’d reply.

But they were fantasies. It was healthy to talk about them, and their conversations were always honest and realistic. The closest they came to indulging them was watching porn together. And they did enjoy cuckolding categories.

It was time to go. Eileen lifted her dress unnecessarily high, pulled her black thong up tight, and adjusted her matching hold-ups. Doug watched and admired her. Fine shape for a woman in her late forties. A few stray pubic hairs peeped round the edges of the material. She never shaved or even trimmed them. They both preferred her to go au naturel.

“I’ll be up there later, head first!” he threatened.

“Only if there’s any room for you. I hear George Clooney is coming to this reception. I’ve always fancied him, so you’ll have to settle for going last!”

They were both fans of E.R.

“Sloppy seconds!” he joked. “Perhaps I won’t go in head-first after all. Anyway, Julianna Margulies might be here too. Then you’ll have to wait till tomorrow!”

As she went through the finishing touches of her preparation, Doug looked around the hotel room. Usually, at events like this, he let Eileen drink, and then drove them home. But for this wedding, the hotel room was free, so they were making the most of it. He’d heard about interconnecting doors but never seen one before. It was behind a nondescript curtain, but he hadn’t opened it in case there was someone next door. At last she was ready and they went down to the reception.

The wedding was, well, just another wedding. Eileen worked in the same company as the bride. Doug had probably met her, but couldn’t remember her name. He would enjoy the reception though, even though he couldn’t drink alcohol. They sat with another couple they’d met before. Some other wedding or funeral, he couldn’t recall. But he did remember that he’d liked them.

Frank and Sara were also relieved to find someone they knew. Doug brought drinks to the table. A beer and martini for Frank and Sara. A tonic water for him and Eileen, except hers had a large vodka in it. They sat round a small table. The guys had their backs to the wall, and the wives opposite, half turned so they could see the dance floor.

As Doug chatted with Frank, he admired Sara’s legs. He had a good view, straight up her dress. Eileen’s were much better, but he’d seen hers thousands of times. Much as she still excited him, getting the odd peek of another woman’s undies was far more alluring. He doubted there would be a full flash, as she was wearing tights, but one lived in hope. Eileen was right, it was all about the differences.

Frank was similarly eyeing Eileen and possibly getting the occasional glimpse of her stocking tops. ‘Good luck to him.’ thought Doug. Forbidden fruit is best, that’s what fantasies are all about.’ He knew fine well Eileen was doing it on purpose, and approved. Flashing and the odd grope were within their rules.

“So you don’t drink? Is that by choice or necessity?” asked Frank.

“Necessity. I’m allergic to alcohol.”

“May I ask what happens if you do drink?”

“Sure. It doesn’t bother me to talk about it. It takes me various ways. Mostly I freeze on the spot, and occasionally pass out. I’m vaguely aware of what’s going on, but can’t move or make connections. Sometimes I unlock for a moment, then kind of spasm again.”

“Wow. How much does it take to set you off?”

“A mouthful of beer would be enough.”

“What if you spat the beer out? Sorry, I’m being gross.”

“No, that’s ok. I’d be fine if I spat it out quickly enough, I can manage heavy duty kissing with Eileen if she’s been drinking all night.”

“Talking about me?” she enquired.

“Just admiring your lovely legs dear!”

There followed an interesting reaction. Eileen crossed them elegantly, giving Frank a glimpse of her stocking tops, if he was quick enough. Then Sara, almost as if she didn’t want to be outdone, crossed hers. And Doug got a full-on view of her panties. Despite being obscured by the material of her tights, they were clearly red. Before returning to their conversation, the guys exchanged winks.

“So, before we were so sexily interrupted, I have to swallow the alcohol. The stronger the drink, the greater the severity of my reaction. But don’t worry, I haven’t had an episode for years.”

“Forgive me for asking then, but is it wise to have a drink that’s so similar to your wife’s?”

Doug looked at the table; they did look the same.

“Eileen usually drinks wine, so tonight’s vodka and tonic suggests she wants to let her hair down. When we have the same kind of glass, we have a system. Hers has no lemon. My plain tonic has a slice.”

“Ah. May I ask Eileen for a dance?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t! No need to check with me next time.”

The happy couple had begun the first waltz, and now other guests were joining in. Frank stood up and proffered his hand to Eileen. She stood and dropped a little curtsey. Before they were half way to the dance floor, Sara was up on her feet. Doug took her hand and followed them.

All four of them knew how to waltz. To do it properly, partners needed to be close, touching all the way down. Doug spent a delightful couple of minutes pressing his hand into the small of Sara’s back, and his growing erection into her belly. He was breathing in her scent, which enhanced the effect. He glanced across at his wife with Frank, and smiled. They could hardly be any closer.

Doug leaned his head back from Sara’s and said:

“Your profile is affecting mine!”

He’d used that corny line in the past, but she must never have heard it before. She broke away from him, shrieking with laughter. Several other dancers turned to look. Frank and Eileen stopped dead in their tracks.

“Sorry, sorry!” she said to the room in general, and stepped back into Doug’s arms. Her perfume smelled stronger now. And her face was redder than her panties. He was tempted to tell her so, but thought better of it.

A few more songs and the music changed, getting faster, and a lot louder. The foursome returned to their seats, and let the younger guests get on with it. Doug didn’t mind the others getting drunk; he was used to being outside looking in. It amused him, especially watching Eileen get flushed. Alcohol and sex had the same effect on her face.

She was having a good time now, and exposing lots of leg. He felt another stirring in his crotch, anticipating doing all sorts of dirty things to her later. George Clooney had not graced them with his presence, so Eileen would be all his! He glanced at Frank who must be able to see up as far as Eileen’s thong on occasions.

But Sara was looking angry, and was clearly jealous. She lifted one foot up onto her chair, pretending to adjust the strap on her shoe. The blatant view of her red panties was so deliberate, an uneasy silence fell over them. Doug surprised himself by looking away. Frank coughed.

Hoping to defuse the growing embarrassment, Doug leaned over to speak to Eileen, but found he needed to shout above the noise.

“I must say, you look gorgeous. You could have any man here, if you wanted.”

Eileen looked surprised.

(She thought he said: ” OK, you look gorgeous. You can have any man here, if you want.”)

“Really? At last! Thanks dear.”

(He thought she said: “Really? I’ll pass, thanks dear.”)

She got up and went to the bar.

“Two tonics please. One with a slice of lemon and one with a double vodka.”

“Ah, I recognise that order.” said the barman. “I guess you’re the nominated driver.”

It always amused her when bar staff, especially men, assumed the plain tonic was for her.

Later, they were watching a couple quite close to their table who were doing an impressive jive. The woman was wearing a pleated skirt, which flared out every time she spun round. Doug and Frank were particularly aware of her bare legs. The pale blue French knickers were possibly see-through, but the glimpses were too quick to be sure.

Eileen was totally captivated. This man was the image of George Clooney. Her crotch responded and she felt her thong getting wet. Doug had obviously spotted the likeness too. That’s why he’d said she could have any man she wanted. It had taken a George Clooney lookalike to finally get him to agree to her fantasy. She was so proud of him.

It was just a pity this guy was with his wife. Still, maybe Doug had agreed tonight, because he fancied her. Maybe she would join them for a foursome. It was a lot of maybes, but this was the closest she’d come to fulfilling her fantasy. It would be a shame if fate denied her. Doug might not be persuaded again.

Doug was captivated too. The dancer flashing her knickers looked a little like Julianna Margulies. He wondered if his wife had noticed. Eileen, leaning across the table, shouted. “So, what do you think?”

(She meant: ‘Can I go ahead and have sex with him?’)

“Very sexy!” replied Doug, thinking she was pointing out the woman.

“So you’d go for it? If he’s available of course.”

(“So you’d go for it? If she’s available of course.”)

“Absolutely!”

The music stopped and the woman kissed the guy’s cheek and left him there. Eileen caught his eye. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she grinned and got up to dance.

“Show’s over.” said Sara, scowling. “We’re going up.”

“It’s not even nine yet.” whined Frank.

“We have an early start in the morning.”

The three of them stood up and looked towards Eileen, where she and the stranger were doing an excellent tango. She gave a little wave goodbye.

“See you next time then.” said Doug.

He shook his head as Sara dragged her husband away. Strange woman.

Once they’d gone Doug sipped his tonic water and watched his wife dancing for a while. This new guy was good, but Eileen was spoiling things somewhat, by constantly talking to him. Far from looking bored, he politely listened to whatever she was saying.

The next dance was just a simple slow one. And they held each other close. Eileen linked her hands behind his neck and they turned slowly, cheek to cheek. The guy slipped his hands to the tops of her buttocks and gave her a squeeze. It lifted the hem of her dress.

He loved watching her flirt. She was good at it and could always be trusted to stop things going too far, without upsetting her dance partner. The best part was it always made her horny, and Doug got the benefits later. This guy might be feeling her arse, but only Doug got to go there. He felt a familiar stirring and wondered, not for the first time, just how bad it could be, watching her go further.

When the dance was over he brought her to the table.

“I’m Richard. Your wife says you’re Doug. Thanks for this wonderful opportunity.”

He held out his hand. Doug thought ‘wonderful opportunity’ was over the top for two dances and a grab of Eileen’s bottom, but shook his hand and smiled.

“You’re more than welcome, any time.”

“Very generous of you. May I sit?”

“Certainly, make yourself at home. Why not call your lady over too?”

He sat next to Eileen, who drained her drink.

“That lady was Richard’s sister.” she said. “They learned to dance as kids”

“Ah, here on your own then Richard?”

“I am.” he replied. “But not for much longer it seems.”

“On a promise, are you?”

Doug grinned.

“Definitely!”

Richard grinned right back and turned to Eileen.

“What are you drinking?”

“Vodka and tonic thanks.”

“I’ll get fresh glasses.”

He turned to Doug and winked.

“It’s ok.” he said. “I already know what you want.”

Doug realised that explained everything. While they’d been dancing Eileen must have learned he was on his own and invited him to the table. And she had explained that he didn’t drink alcohol.

Richard returned with the drinks.

They chatted for a few minutes, and Doug was impressed with the man’s politeness. He raised his glass and smiled at Doug again.

“We can take this back to one of the rooms if you want.” said Richard. “Yours or mine.”

“No music though. You wouldn’t get much dancing done up there!” replied Doug.

“Exactly what I was thinking!”

Doug thought that was another puzzling thing to say. He reached for a bowl of peanuts and put some in his mouth. Just as he crunched them, Richard leaned up against Eileen’s ear and said something. At the same time, he slipped one hand up her thigh. Their backs were to the dance floor so no one but Doug could see.

He was not happy. A squeeze of his wife’s bum on the dance floor was acceptable. But running his hand over her stocking tops was not. Time seemed to stand still for a moment as he waited for Eileen to push the offending hand away. But her thighs parted to allow him easier access. Then, everything seemed to happen at once.

– Richard’s fingers kept going and grasped Eileen’s thong. She opened her legs even further and his fingers slid round the elastic.

– She turned her head to him and opened her mouth. Their lips and tongues met.

– Doug choked violently and sprayed bits of peanut over the table.

They broke apart from their kiss and looked at him. Doug was finding it difficult to breathe, reached for his glass, and swallowed the contents. Then slumped over the table, gasping like a landed fish.

“Oh my God!” cried Eileen. “What was in that drink?”

“Double vodka and tonic, like yours.”

She grabbed a near empty glass and sniffed it — plain tonic. Then forced it down Doug’s throat.

“This is just tonic. Are you ok dear?”

He tried to say ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ but all that came out was ‘What?’

“It’s all right. Richard got you the wrong drink by accident. I should have explained but, you know, heat of the moment and all that.”

“But”

“Stay calm. Let’s get you up to the room.”

Trying not to cause too much of a spectacle, Richard and Eileen helped him to the lift lobby. They got him into the room and removed his jacket, tie and shoes. Then laid him gently out on the bed.

“Three zero five, two doors down.” whispered Richard, and beat a hasty retreat. Eileen nodded. She got a bottle of mineral water from the mini bar and Doug gulped it down. He tried to speak, desperately seeking some sort of explanation, but now nothing would come out.

She sat with him and pushed his hair from his face.. She’d dealt with this before, and was heartened to see red flush draining from his face. His breathing was returning to normal. He was going to be fine.

“The worst is over. Would you like some more water?”

He did and tried to say ‘Yes.’

“Y…”

He stared at her, throat straining.

“Look, I can stay with you if you want dear. But if you’re going to sleep it off, is it still all right for me to go to Richard’s room for an hour or so? I really want to have him, and you did agree!”

“Yes!” exploded out of him. He closed his eyes and flopped back onto the pillow.

She took the room key and crept out.

*

Physically, Doug part-recovered. But mentally he was confused. He had a vague idea he’d just said something stupid. He staggered drunkenly to the mini bar and downed another bottle of mineral water. Then he downed a Red Bull which woke him up. Though he still couldn’t remember what had happened.

He stared at his feet, wondering why he was stumbling around in his socks. Where were Frank and Sara? He needed some fresh air and lurched towards the curtains. Finding a door in front of him was even more confusing, but he opened it anyway. It led into another bedroom. Except it wasn’t.

There was the usual bathroom and coffee making, but no bed. Instead there was a leather three piece suite. Now he really needed a pee. He went into the bathroom, unbuckled, and emptied his bladder. As he finished, he came over dizzy again, and thought he might faint.

He put both hands on the wall and took a deep breath. His trousers and pants slithered gracefully to the floor. Doug, fearing he might trip up, or piss all over them, kicked them to one side. The bathroom light was too bright so he turned it off. The wave of nausea passed.

*

Eileen slipped into Richard’s room.

“Is he ok?”

“He’s fine. It’s happened before.”

“I’m so sorry. I just assumed you both wanted the same.”

“My fault. I should have told you. Can’t imagine what made me forget!”

“You seem very upbeat about it.”

“It’s happened before, he’ll sleep it off now. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine in the morning. Probably wanting some of what you’ll be getting!”

“So it’s still ok for us to…?”

“Yes. I told you our arrangement was that we must both agree. Well I just asked him if I could come to your room, and he said yes. So don’t worry, Doug is ok with this. We’ve talked about it for years.”

“I just feel bad about it.”

“Enough! You assumed he was drinking vodka and tonic: you were wrong. You also assumed it would be all right to have a good feel under my dress: you were right. You can have anything you find under there!”