Apartment 609

On a hot Saturday afternoon, I stand near the iconic fountain in Rockefeller Plaza with my “smart” phone, swiping right on a gorgeous redhead. Alice Jackson, 29, 33-24-33, Aquarius, and a “wild kinky stock broker” just like me. She likes my profile just as much, so we seal the deal right right away. I’m sure she’ll love getting “brokered” by my big fat cock.

Six hours later, I arrive at the front door of apartment 609, six stories above Broadway. I’m twenty minutes early for our dinner date, and she’s taking a shower, so I stand awkwardly in the hallway, listening to her singing “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen. The worst number one song of the twenty-first century. Whatever. I picture Irish Spring soap sloshing all over her milky d-cups, and my dick starts rising. I bet myself twenty bucks that she has pink nipples and red pubic hair. Just like Faye Reagan, my favorite ginger porn star.

She turns off the shower, and I immediately ring the doorbell. She opens the front door a moment later wearing only a red bath towel.

“Hey Roger!” she beams sweetly.

“Hey Alice. I love that fancy evening gown.”

She giggles sweeter. “I suppose it was just a crazy coincidence that you rang my doorbell right when I was getting out of the shower.”

“Uh . . .”

“How long were you standing there in the hallway, picturing me all wet and naked?”

“Uh . . .”

She laughs haughtily. “Come on in, you little pervert.” She takes me by the hand into her luxurious living room, full of posters for recent Broadway shows like Black Rappin’ Lincoln and Vagina Monologues 2: Back to the Slit.

“Hurry up and get dressed. I’m starving for pizza at Casa Italiana.” Those big green fairy eyes are hypnotizing as hell.

“Why don’t we just stay here and have my homemade pizza. I’m a really good cook.”

“Fine, whatever. It’s hot as hell out there, and I’m starving.”

“Me too. Let’s get naked to cool off, and have a little appetizer.”

Much to my pleasant surprise, she rips off that red towel and tosses it aside. Pointy pink nipples, a small rectangle of red hair around her clit, and a tattoo of a dolphin right above it. Bingo.

“Can I have a little sausage to snack on?” she beams, gesturing toward what she means by that euphemism.

“Hell yeah.” I unzip my khakis, eager to find out how crazy she really is. “Thank god you’re not one of those bitchy vegans.” I whip it out, and her eyes light up.

“Whoa, that’s a big sausage! Forget a snack, I’m having dinner right now.” She drops to her knees, strokes it with her pale dainty hands, and licks the tip. “Mmm, a nice juicy bratwurst.”

“Shut up and gag on it,” I grunt, jumping right into my usual dominator character.

“Yes sir,” she giggles. She shoves it in her mouth and sucks it with reckless abandon. Slurping like 7/11 and gagging repeatedly. The curtains on her living room window are wide open, giving her neighbors across the street some free voyeur porn. My kind of girl.

“Fuck yeah. Deep-throat me like hell.”

She keeps gagging and slurping and groaning and making a funny poof sound every time her lips slide off the tip. I want to make this last, so I grab her head and pull it back.

“Play with those balls, bitch.”

I push my dick back against my crotch and mash her face into my testicles. She gives them a thorough oral examination while massaging my prostate. I gaze at a pile of Wall Street Journals with complete disinterest. She stuffs both of them in her mouth at the same time.

“Good girl. Keep those balls in your mouth for thirty seconds.” I count out loud to thirty while slowly stroking my cock. She keeps them in her mouth after I finish counting. “That’s what I call a bull market.”

She giggles at my stupid joke, forcing my balls out of her mouth.

“Get down on the fucking floor. Time for some 69 in apartment 609.”

“Yes sir, Mister Savage,” she giggles. She lies down on the red shag carpeting and stares at the ceiling while I get naked. I get down on the floor, and she “sits on my face,” to use a popular but inaccurate expression.

“Put that big cock back in your mouth, and fucking choke on it.”

She follows my order promptly, making more nauseating noises while I lick her pussy and slap her ass.

“Spank me hard!” she groans. I’m happy to oblige, purging out my frustrations and turning her pale white skin hot pink. Definitely the best blowjob I ever had. She even sticks her tongue in my pee-hole. Only the most fucked-up ladies are willing to do that.

“I’m gonna fuck your face, bitch. Get up on your knees,” I bark out. She kneels on the carpet, and I skullfuck her face, faster and deeper until I’m gagging her like a machine gun. I pull out with a macho growl, and she sinks back to catch her breath.

“What, are you getting tired? Put it back in your mouth!”

She shoves it back in her mouth and clamps her teeth down on the middle of the shaft.

“Oh yeah, use your teeth. Eat that fucking bratwurst.”

She nibbles upward, slowly and gently, and pauses just below the most sensitive part.

“Come on, bite that fucking tip!”

She bites down much harder than I was expecting.

“Oh god, oh god, you crazy fuck!”

She giggles with her teeth locked on to the tip, savoring my agony. She finally lets go, and tosses her long copper bangs with a naughty grin.

“I love a hot bitch with bite.”

“I can do a lot more than bite you, baby. I’m a full-on dominatrix.”

I burst out laughing. “Seriously?”

“Fuck yeah. I love tying guys up, and whipping them like hell, and screwing them with strap-ons.”

“It doesn’t say that on your profile. It just says you’re a ‘wild kinky stock broker.'”

“I prefer to use the element of surprise, like a good army general. They never believe me at first, because I’m a sweet redhead who doesn’t look like a cliché lesbian prison guard.”

“Men are so shallow.”

Her king-size bed is surrounded by kinky toys and about a million BDSM DVDs. I don’t watch any streaming porn either, with all those hackers lurking about on the intrawebs. She puts on a red leather army cap and a red leather harness. It makes her look twice as naked as she did with nothing on.

“You will address me as drill sergeant, and you better follow my orders to the fucking letter,” she barks out.

“Yes, drill sergeant.”

“Lie down on the bed, face-up.”

Oh shit, here we go. I’ve dominated plenty of women ever since my hazy Harvard days, but I usually don’t let the chicks wail on me. I’m just too damn manly.

“That’s an order, soldier!”

“Yes, drill sargeant.” I lay down on top of a plush red comforter on a memory foam mattress with red memory foam pillows. She binds my hands and feet to the brass headboard and footboard with red cuffs.

“I guess it’s too late to ask if you’re a serial ax murderer.”

“Shut the fuck up!” She opens a drawer and pulls out a red ball mouthgag. “I’m gonna jam this thing down your throat, so I won’t hear your sass mouth while I go medieval on your ass.”

“Fine, do whatever you want. But you better drink my cum.”

“Shut the fuck up! Nobody gives orders to a drill sergeant!”

She jams it into my mouth and fastens it firmly with a red strap.

“You’re a smart-ass rich guy from the Big Apple, but you’re in the fucking army now, so you better treat me with respect.“

She goes to a shelf and picks out a leather riding crop, then she straddles my lap and slides it across my chest.

“I caught you jerking off while watching me take a shower in the officer’s quarters. That’s a major offense, soldier. Do you know what happens to perverts in my platoon?”

I shake my head. “Uh-uh.”

She whips me hard across the chest, and I recoil in pain. “That’s what! No court marshal for you, motherfucker!”

She whips me ten more times, and I sort of like it. Taking a little pain from a sexy lady after stealing money from millions of hard-working middle-Americans at Goldman Sachs.

“You’re not sorry at all. You just want to suck my pink nipples.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You want to bite ’em real hard. Just like this.”

She bites my nipples painfully hard, and twists them even harder. I groan loudly and thrash about, rattling the metal bars like hell.

“Those man-titties are gonna be real sore when you’re climbing ropes tomorrow. Speaking of which . . .”

She pulls out some coarse hemp rope and whips me with it a dozen times.

“Time to bring out the big guns. I’ll be right back, soldier. Don’t go anywhere.” She walks out of the room, leaving me in deathly suspense. She returns a minute later holding a paper grocery bag. She straddles my lap again, then she pulls out a big gun and points it right between my eyes!

“Hasta la vista, douchebag.”

“Aaaaaoooowhaaaaa?!”

She pulls the trigger.

“BANG!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”

I’m still alive and well. A jet of cold fluid hit me right on the left eyeball. A fucking squirt gun! She laughs maniacally.

“Fuck yeah, I punk’d you so fucking good! It’s an orange squirt gun that I painted black.”

“Huh hoo, ooo huhee huhh!”

Her smile instantly reverts to a frown. “What did you call me, soldier?”

“A huhhh!”

“Nobody uses the C word on me, motherfucker!”

She squirts me a dozen more times, and whips me even more. “It hurts twice as much when you’re wet. I filled that gun with ice-cold water, to maximize the sting.” She licks some cold water off my face, and masturbates slowly. “Ooh yeah, torturing big macho guys gets me nice and wet. It’ll hurt even more on that big fucking dick.”

She jacks my Johnson with both hands until it stands tall again, and squirts it with icy water. Then she gets a red cat o’ nine tails and whips it in a rapid blur, stinging every square inch. I rattle the brass bars helplessly and cry for mommy.

“Take it like a man, you fucking pussy!”

She whips my cock relentlessly while jacking her clit. She finally takes a break, catching her breath.

“I’m judge, jury, and executioner rolled into one. A female Judge Dredd.”

(Oh shit, I’m totally gonna write that screenplay!)

Alice pushes my dick back against my crotch and whips my balls with the cat. She grabs a red dildo and fucks herself while whipping me. Then she pulls out a miniature rotating blade thingy.

“Say hello to my little friend. This ain’t a pizza carver, it’s a cock carver.”

She performs frantic fellatio for ten seconds, bringing it back to full mast. Then she rolls the cock carver slowly up the shaft. It doesn’t take much prickling on a penis to make a man miserable. She rolls it along the tip and down into my pee-hole, laughing like an Arkham lunatic at my abject suffering.

“All right, I’ve had my fun. Have you learned your lesson, soldier?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Uh-huh. You served your sentence like a good boy, and you deserve a happy ending. I want to feel your warm splooge all over my pretty face.”

She takes off the mouth gag.

“God, you’re a crazy fucking bitch, but I fucking love it! I wanna fuck the shit of you, in the asshole.”

“Mmm, that sounds delicious. Give me some ass candy, and then we’ll have some pizza.”

She frees me from bondage and puts the cuffs on her nightstand. Payback time. I grab her from behind and put her in a judo hold. She squeals like my little sister, back in the day when I pulled her pigtails.

“Turnaround is fair play, drill sergeant! You’re under arrest.”

“On what charge?”

“Cruel and unusual punishment.” I slam her face-down on the mattress and bind her hands with one of the handcuffs. “You have to right to remain silent, but I’m making damn sure you do.”

“Fuck you, you fucking white privilege douchebag!”

I shut her up with the same red ball, and tie it around her head. “White privilege applies even more to women, you fucking Wall Street cunt!”

“Huh hoo!” she shouts in vain.

I put a red leather dog collar around her neck, then I grab the squirt gun and get her hot body all wet. I shove the nozzle up her ass and give her a free colonic.

“I’m getting that slutty asshole nice and clean. I bet your boss shot a big wad up there today, and then he gave you a big promotion.”

“Huh hoo!”

I ignore her incoherent profanity and grab a scary-looking demon tail whip from her arsenal. I use it to purge out more of my own frustrations, lashing her pale soft flesh over and over and over. I grab the cock carver and carve her vagina, getting the same loud response she got out of me. I spread her labia to the limit and lick some more pink. The sense of power makes dominating twice as fun as getting dominated.

“By the way, that Flipper tattoo is fucking stupid.”

I chomp down on her cunt lips. Shockwaves ripple through her entire body. Saving the best for last, I bite that curious little button at the top, framed by copper hair. She shrieks in pain and laughs in pleasure at the same time. I bite that curious clitoris six more times, with diminishing returns.

“Your daddy never punished you when he caught you fucking around and beating on all those boys. I’m punishing you now, with interest.” I smack her cunt hard, and she recoils in pain.

“Do you whip yourself in the shower, when you’re not singing crappy songs?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you whip any girls?”

She shakes her head emphatically in the negative. “Ah-ah!”

“Don’t fucking lie to me. Every dominatrix is a dirty dyke at heart.”

“Huh hoo!”

“I will fuck you. Right after I whoop that tight yoga butt.”

I lift her off the bed and clip a red leather leash onto the dog collar. I drag her to a picture window and peer six stories down to the Broadway theater district, framed by a glorious sunset. The sidewalks are loaded with tourists, and the curtains are still open in the apartment across the street, maximizing the perversion. I’m definitely coming back to this Wonderland for another fix of Alice.

I shove her body against the plexiglas window, and shoot her ass cheeks with the squirt gun. I grab a wooded spanking paddle with “Good Girl” carved into it, and give those sweet wet cheeks a hearty thwack!

“Good girl my ass! Entitled freaks like you are everything that’s wrong with this country.”

I keep right on spanking that naughty girl. An old lady across the street pulls out her “smart” phone and records the action.

“All right, that ass ain’t getting any redder. Time for some anal action, baby. Some good old-fashioned sphincter spelunking.”

I grab a tube of KY jelly from her nightstand and grease up my hot rod. I ram it all the way up her asshole, and keep sodomizing her right into the window. She moans to keep me focused.

“You love getting fucked in the ass.”

“Uh-huh!”

“You’re a naughty fucking cunt!” I spank her ass cheeks with my bare hands, and stick up my middle finger at that old bag across the street. There’s way too many perverts in this fucked-up town. I screw her until I get bored.

“Come on, dog-bitch, let’s go for a little walk.” I lead her by the leash out of the bedroom. “I’m gonna finish you off in the shower. You need a good hard scrubbing, you dirty aquaphile.”

“Uh-huh.”

I take her into the bathroom, prop her up in a marble tub, turn on the shower, and pound her shithole like there’s no tomorrow. Lukewarm tap water falls on her big bouncing breasts, splashing like crazy. I pull back from the brink of orgasm and bite her pink nipples, twisting them for good measure.

“A purple-nurple sure ain’t fun on the other end, eh girly-girl?”

“Huh hoo!”

“Damn right, you rich bitch. I’m gonna drive my big rig down your Hershey Highway, doggy-style.”

She gets down on her knees, and I bend her handcuffed torso over the edge of the tub, with her red head drooping down on the red cotton bath mat. Balls-deep, pedal-to-the-metal. I love how her spinal cord bulges out of her slender back with every thrust. I tug on the leash, suspending her head a few inches off the mat. Her cell phone starts making an awful racket on the sink. “Call Me Maybe” is her goddamn ringtone!

“Carly Rae Jepsen fucking sucks!”

She moans even louder, and I pound her asshole even harder, soon reaching the point of no return.

“I’m gonna shoot you in the face, bitch! An eye for an eye.”

I pull her upper half back into the tub, and blast an epic wad on her green eyes at point-blank range. Seeing stars in my own eyes. It’s not enough just to cum on her face, so I also piss on it. Pissing her off royally. She tries to squirm away, but I hold her firmly in place with the leash, emptying my bladder triumphantly.

“Ahhhhhhh, that’s much better. I love pissing on hot gingers.” I shake out every last drop on her face, then I take off the ball gag.

“You fucking asshole! Getting these fucking cuffs off me! There’s a key on the shower tray.”

I free her from bondage, and she immediately slaps me in the face.

“What the fuck, bitch?!”

She slaps the other cheek just as hard.

“How dare you tie me up and whip me without permission, and call me a dirty dyke, and piss on my fucking face!”

“I’m sorry, Alice. I got carried away.”

“You’re not fucking sorry at all! Get down on all fours, soldier. That’s a fucking order!”

I get down on my hands and knees, and she adjusts the shower head so the water falls right on my ass cheeks. Then she takes the collar and leash off her neck and fastens them to my neck.

“Ten lashes with a wet towel, soldier. Count them out for me, nice and loud.”

She soaks a red towel, rolls it up, and whips my ass like a field hockey captain in an old-school hazing ritual.

Thwack!

“Eigh-ha-height!“

Thwack!

“Ni-ha-ha-hiiiine!”

I remember getting the wet towel treatment from my high school ice hockey team back in ’94, before they started cracking down on hazing and bullying and everything else.

Thwack!

“TEEEEENNNNN!”

I start getting up, but she yanks down on the leash, sending me right back to the wet marble.

“I did not give you permission to get up, soldier!” she barks out. “You better stay right there while I get my favorite toy.”

She disappears once again, leaving a trail of water on the bathroom floor and the carpeted hallway outside. She soon reappears, wearing a red strap-on dildo. Now things are really getting interesting. I haven’t gotten pegged since New Year’s Eve, by another ginger stock broker whose name I can’t recall.

“How many red things do you fucking have?”

“Shut the fuck up! Let’s see how much you like getting your sphincter ‘spelunked.'”

She lubes up the plastic cock with KY from the shower rack. She shoves it in and ass-fucks me like a jackhammer while pulling back on the leash. This is the first time I’ve ever been sodomized cold sober. I take it like a good sport while hearing that familiar pash-pash-pash-pash-pash-pash-pash, enhanced by splashing water.

“Do you love getting screwed by women, soldier?”

“Yes, drill sergeant.”

“Do you love getting screwed by men?”

“No, drill sergeant.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me, you fucking faggot!”

“I’m not a faggot, you fucking carpet muncher!”

“Why, you little insubordinate fuck! I’m gonna piss all over your face!”

She takes off the strap-on and tinkles away on my face. It feels good, but it doesn’t smell good.

“Stick your tongue out and taste it. That’s an order!”

I stick my tongue out into the stream, grimacing at the bitter salty flavor. She stops the stream abruptly. “Now use that tongue to get me off.”

I obey her order, licking her clit while she ass-fucks herself with the dildo, moaning delightfully.

“I’m a squirter, baby. Payback is a bitch!”

She blasts my face like a fire hydrant in the ghetto. Her howling subsides to pleasant moaning, and she strokes my head with tender loving care.