Charlotte wasn’t sure how Zoe would take the news that she had an aunt and uncle, but as she had no true frame of reference for the difference between blood ties and friendships, she took it in stride.
“Like Auntie Sarah?”
“Yes.” Charlotte glanced over her shoulder before changing lanes. They were on their way to Sunday dinner with Theresa and Clyde, and she was nervous. “You can call her Auntie Theresa.” She hoped. Theresa might have a different opinion about the moniker, but that could be a conversation for when they were all together.
“And what’s an uncle?”
Charlotte had to smile at that. If only Sarah could pin a man down, Zoe would already know. “An uncle is married to an auntie, or if I had a brother, he’d be your uncle.”
“Okay.” Zoe fell silent, absorbing the information. “Is Alexei my uncle?”
Charlotte nearly choked, turning it into a cough. “No, sweetie. Alexei is–” Oh, jeez. What was Alexei to Zoe? Her ‘Grumpy’, sure, but that wasn’t what she was looking for. Before she could think of a response, Zoe continued talking.
“Because my friend, Stacy, at daycare, she says she has a stepdad, and his name is Caleb and he lives with them, but he’s not her dad.” A pause. “Or her uncle.”
Charlotte stifled a sigh. Zoe wouldn’t understand the nuances of an adult relationship. She supposed she could classify Alexei as a stepdad, but she hesitated to slap that level of attachment on him, when she had no idea if they’d go the distance. She could hope all she wanted but that was it for now. She shoved that thought aside before it could give her more anxiety than she needed for the evening.
“Well, that’s nice for Stacy. Stepdads and uncles are all great, but Alexei isn’t either of those.”
“He’s not?” Her little voice was confused now. “So he’s an auntie, like Sarah?”
Charlotte shook her head and slowed for a red light before glancing over her shoulder at her daughter. “Aunties are girls and uncles are boys.”
“So Alexei is an uncle.” Zoe sounded so sure it made Charlotte smile.
“He’s not, sweetie. He’s my–” Boyfriend, Lover? Revelation? “–Special friend.”
“Oh.” Zoe’s little nose screwed up as she made a face. “Okay. I can still call him Grumpy?”
“As long as he’s okay with it, yes.” Charlotte had long ago made peace with it.
Zoe’s questions answered for now, she fell silent, and Charlotte drove the rest of the way to the swanky neighborhood her sister and brother-in-law lived in. She followed Theresa’s directions and pulled up on their circular drive, gaping at the big brick-faced McMansion.
“They live in a castle!”
Charlotte snorted out a laugh at Zoe’s innocent exclamation. Even to Charlotte, it did have some castle-like characteristics.
“Remember what I told you earlier, okay?” Charlotte climbed out of the driver’s seat and moved to the back door to unbuckle Zoe from her car seat. “Best behavior tonight, okay? No jumping on things or touching things you’re not allowed to touch.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
Bless her little easy-going heart. Charlotte let out a breath as she set Zoe on her feet on the snowy driveway. It had been cleared from the storm the day before but there were little drifts all along the edges.
Charlotte locked the car and took Zoe’s hand to lead the way up to the front door. She half-expected some maid or butler to answer the door. Instead, Clyde opened it with a wide smile.
“You made it!” Clyde hauled them inside with a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder and closed the door behind them, swamping them in the warmth inside the house. “I’m so glad you’re here. I was a little worried about you driving on those roads after yesterday but Theresa insisted you were more than capable.”
“Capable, yes.” Charlotte smiled. “But I can honestly say I don’t enjoy driving in Chicago after a blizzard.”
“Tell me about it.” Clyde gave a mock shudder, before turning his blinding grin on Zoe, who had gone shy, tucking herself against Charlotte’s leg, her little fist at her mouth. She gazed up at Clyde with wide eyes, one arm around Charlotte’s thigh. “And you must be Zoe.” He dropped down to a crouch, eye-level with the child. “I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you.”
Zoe pressed tighter to her mom and Charlotte dropped a hand to her head for comfort.
“I’m your Uncle Clyde.” Clyde paused, glancing up at Charlotte with a wry grin, as if looking for confirmation that the label was all right.
Charlotte nodded, still rubbing Zoe’s hair.
Clyde reached out one hand towards Zoe and she shook it quick before putting her hand back at her mouth. “Yeah, Uncle Clyde. Or you can call me Uncle C, it’s what my brother’s kids call me.”
“You have a brother?” Zoe asked from behind her fist.
“I do.”
“I don’t have any brothers. Or sisters. Or uncles.”
Clyde gave her a gentle smile. “You have one now, don’t you?”
Zoe nodded, her shyness fading by the second. Charlotte watched as Clyde helped Zoe out of her winter coat and boots before he straightened to his full height again. He helped Charlotte with hers, hanging everything in the front hall closet as Theresa appeared beside them.
“Hi, sorry I wasn’t here to greet you,” she said, coming forward to give Charlotte a hug, far less awkward than their embraces at the event the week before. “I had to wait for the oven to ding.”
“Of course.” Charlotte stifled her surprise that Theresa was cooking. Then she berated herself for assuming anything about Clyde and Theresa and how they lived, no matter what their house looked like. She knew as much about them as they did her. “Zoe, this is your Aunt Theresa.”
“I have an auntie.” Zoe glanced between Theresa and Clyde. “She’s Sarah.”
“That’s wonderful. It’s always good to have more than one auntie or uncle.” Clyde put an arm around Theresa as he spoke.
Zoe’s eyes widened. “You can have more?”
Charlotte exchanged a grin with the other two adults. “Oh yes, sweetie. Some people have half a dozen or more.”
“Really?” Zoe’s amazement was adorable. “So I can keep Auntie Sarah?”
They all chuckled before Clyde shuffled them out of the front hall and into the great room where the scents of dinner cooking surrounded them.
“Now, Zoe, what is your favorite drink?” Clyde crouched down to her level again. “Do you like juice, or milk?” He leaned closer with a cheeky grin. “Or beer?”
Zoe burst into giggles and shook her head. “That’s a grown-up drink, Uncle C.”
Charlotte watched as Clyde absolutely melted at the way Zoe said his new name.
“You’re right, Zoe. Juice it is!” And he swept her up into his arms to further giggles and carried her into the kitchen to get her drink.
Charlotte turned to Theresa, who was also smiling at her husband’s behavior. “He seems like a really good man, Theresa.”
Theresa nodded. “He’s the best. I feel so lucky every day.”
Charlotte knew that feeling. She cleared her throat and looked around the big, open room. “Your house is lovely. How long have you lived here?”
“Oh, not quite a year. We were a few miles away before we got married, and then started looking for something a little bigger after we got married.”
“A little bigger?” Charlotte smirked as she glanced around again.
“Well, we’ve been talking about starting a family ourselves.”
“Really? That’s wonderful.” And Charlotte meant it. The idea of being an aunt herself had never occurred to her before now.
“Anyway.” Theresa brushed a hand through her hair, a darker auburn than Charlotte’s own red waves. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just water, thanks.”
Once they all had drinks in hand, they sat down around the living room. Clyde kept Zoe occupied with discussions of princesses and the merits of happy songs versus sad, leaving Theresa and Charlotte to chat on the couch opposite.
“So what do you do for work?” Theresa let out a breath. “I’m ashamed to say I don’t even know that.”
“Why would you?” Charlotte smiled and shrugged. “The last time we talked, I was still in college. I’ve been working at a store called Heart and Home.” She described the store and the things they sold.
“I’ll have to stop in there sometime.” Theresa looked as if she meant it, so Charlotte nodded. “I’m always looking for accent pieces for this place. There are a couple whole rooms that are basically empty still.”
“I can imagine.” Charlotte looked up around at the lofted ceiling and the fireplace burning on low. “You’ll need five kids to fill this place.”
Theresa’s smile twisted and she looked away, sipping her wine. “Would you like a tour? Perhaps you can give me some ideas in the empty spaces?”
Charlotte wasn’t sure what ideas she’d have but she nodded anyway. Clyde and Zoe were chattering away still, reminding Charlotte of Alexei’s first interactions with her daughter. Clyde was very similar in the way he spoke to Zoe, without talking down to her in the least.
Theresa led the way through the house, down to the developed basement where there was a pool table and an enormous screen with a projector mounted on the ceiling across from it. There was a spare bedroom and bathroom downstairs as well, mostly being used as storage. Upstairs, the master bedroom and en suite were nice and well-used, and there were three additional bedrooms as well.
They stood in the middle of an empty one and Charlotte turned in a slow circle, looking around, her gaze catching on the beginnings of a mural on one wall. It was a parade of animals, all with cartoonish features, and all very familiar.
“You painted this.” She walked over and lifted a hand to one comical giraffe.
“Yes.” Theresa sounded as though she didn’t want to admit it.
Even if she’d have denied it, Charlotte would know. She knew these characters. Theresa had always been artistic, drawing and sketching through evenings and weekends when they were kids.
“They’re adorable.” Charlotte cast a smile over her shoulder at her sister, who stood near the door, wringing her hands together in front of her. “I assume you’re intending to turn this into the nursery when it’s time?”
“Yes. That’s the plan.”
At Theresa’s tense voice, Charlotte dropped her hand and turned to face her. “Are you all right?”
Theresa started to nod but let out a sigh and shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel very awkward right now, showing you my intended nursery in my house with my husband downstairs, and never having included you in any of this. For years. You must hate me.”
Charlotte blinked at the stream of words and walked towards her sister. “I don’t hate you.”
Theresa frowned. “I’m not sure I believe you.”
“I promise, I don’t. I can’t lie and say the last few years have been easy, or that I’m not disappointed that I haven’t been around for so much.” Charlotte looked around the room again and back at Theresa. “But we can’t change things.”
“We can’t?”
“We can start fresh now, and really try to be a part of each other’s lives.” Charlotte surprised herself by meaning it. Was she all better after the disappointment and loss of the past five years between them? No. But she could try, if Theresa was willing.
“I’d like that.” Theresa let out a shaky breath and reached out to take Charlotte’s hand. “Honestly, the idea of having kids terrifies me. If you’re around to give me tips and tricks of the trade, I wouldn’t be half so scared.”
Charlotte burst out laughing. “Oh, Theresa. Of course, I’ll be here for anything you need, but I have to be honest. Doesn’t matter how many tips you get, or how many books you read, it’s all an adventure you have to survive on your own. Well, you and Clyde together.”
Theresa smiled at that as a wave of laughter drifted up to them from the living room. Then her smile faded. “I’m so sorry, Charlotte.”
“For what?”
“You were alone. Through it all.”
Charlotte winced and nodded. “I was. But I survived, and so did Zoe.”
“You shouldn’t have had to do it on your own. I can’t tell you how much I regret not reaching out sooner.”
Charlotte looked away, unsure of how to respond. Anger mixed with so many other emotions that she needed a second. “I’m not going to say it’s okay, because it isn’t. It wasn’t easy. Yeah, I could have used the help. I could have used family.”
Now it was Theresa wincing, her eyes going glassy with tears.
“I don’t know why it was so hard for all of you to accept my decision.” Charlotte looked back at the mural of cartoon animals and let out a shaky breath.
“I don’t even have a good explanation, Charlotte.”
Charlotte scanned her sister’s face, frowning. “Do you have any? I mean, I can almost understand where Mom and Dad were coming from, since I know what they’re like. But you–” She shrugged and looked down. “That really hurt when you shut me out, Theresa.”
Letting go of Charlotte’s hand, Theresa turned and paced a few steps away. “I feel so ashamed now. I have for a long time. Almost since it happened.” She stopped and turned to face Charlotte, her face pale and her eyes wet with tears. “I was just finishing my first year of grad school, do you remember?”
Charlotte blinked and nodded. “Sure.”
“Well, after that night, when you told us, I stayed up late with them, talking and trying to get them to see that it wasn’t the end of the world.”
Charlotte bristled at the distinction. No, indeed. It had been the beginning of a whole new world, one she wouldn’t trade for anything, not now. She held her tongue, letting her sister continue.
“I said they should let you stay, help you out for a year or two until you got your feet under you again.”
“You did?”
Theresa nodded and rubbed one eye. “They disagreed.”
“I bet they did.” Charlotte sighed and moved closer to her sister. She turned and sat down, her back against the wall with all the colorful animals. “What did they say?”
Theresa joined her, close enough that their shoulders touched. “They said they couldn’t reward you for making such a big mistake.”
“Zoe was not a mistake.”
“I know, Charlotte.” Theresa placed her hand on Charlotte’s upturned knee. “I didn’t agree with them then, and I don’t now.”
Charlotte nodded and placed her hand over her sister’s on her knee.
Theresa continued. “I told them it was stupid to make you choose, that they’d regret turning you away when you needed them most.”
“Let me guess. They disagreed with that too?”
Theresa nodded. “I argued for an hour with them until Dad snapped and told me that if I really wanted to support you, then I didn’t need them either.”
Charlotte frowned. “What?”
“He said if I chose your side — his words, not mine — then they’d stop paying for my school. Mom agreed with him.” Theresa tugged her hand away, her shoulders drooping. “They said I could leave with you and figure out how to pay for school myself.”
Charlotte let her head fall back against the wall with a dull thud and closed her eyes. Damn them. Damn both her mother and father.
“I’m so sorry, Charlotte.” Theresa’s voice choked on the last word.
“I know.” Charlotte sighed and reached over to take her sister’s hand. “I’m not saying it’s okay, but I can’t really fault you for making the decision you did.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Maybe not. “Fine. It hurts that you chose them over me. School, over me. Security. And yet–” Charlotte lifted her free hand and drew in a shaky breath. “I get it, I really do. But honestly, it’s not okay that they even did that to you. To us.”
“No.” Theresa sniffled and wiped her face. “I shouldn’t have gone along with it. I was just scared and stupid. I can’t ever tell you how sorry I am.”
“I know.” Charlotte rolled her head against the wall and offered her sister a weak smile that she wasn’t really feeling. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry that I ever put you in that position.”
Theresa’s eyes widened. “What? You didn’t do anything.”
“Sure I did. I was the one having a little too much fun in college and ended up pregnant at nineteen.” Her tone was wry and she’d long ago made peace with her own choices. Sure, her family could have done everything so much differently, but as a mother now, she didn’t know how she’d react to the news that Zoe was pregnant so young, should it ever come to that. “Honestly though, I can’t believe they reacted so strongly.”
Theresa sighed and wiped more tears from her cheeks. “I know. When you decided to go your own way, they didn’t speak to me for months either.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” She shifted and squeezed Charlotte’s hand. “They paid for my next year and all, but I knew they were mad that I tried to take your side. They held it over my head for a while too, when they did speak to me again.”
“What do you mean?”
“At Christmas, when you called, I suggested they invite you for dinner, at least. They said they didn’t forgive you yet, and if I really wanted to see you, they’d take it to mean I didn’t want to finish school after all.”
“Jesus.” Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut. “They were really mad, I guess.”
“They were too stubborn for their own good, and because I wasn’t strong enough to face up to them, I went along with it. For far too long. By the time I got out from under their thumb, I didn’t know how to reach out to you. I didn’t know if you’d ever want to speak to me again.” She twisted and faced Charlotte more fully. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Charlotte opened her eyes and took in Theresa’s tear-streaked face and red eyes, and nodded. “I know. I’m sorry too, but let’s stop apologizing for them.”
Theresa bit her lip but nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry for me, for letting it go this long.”
“Me too. I could have pushed for more but my own fears kept me from demanding your number from Mom and Dad.”
“Well, now you don’t need to.” Theresa reached over and gave Charlotte a quick hug. “You have my number and I’m always up for a chat.”
“Good.” And Charlotte meant it, hugging her sister back. It had been a long time and she was ready to start rebuilding a relationship with Theresa, if her sister was willing as well.
Theresa gave her one more firm squeeze before drawing away. “I think we should get back downstairs, don’t you? Goodness knows what Clyde’s doing to my dinner by now.”
Charlotte let her sister go, sensing that it was enough emotional discussion for one day. She followed Theresa downstairs and found Clyde and Zoe sitting at the kitchen island, playing Go Fish.
“There you are.” Clyde looked up with a grin. “We wondered where you’d gone.”
“I’m winning, Mommy!” Zoe held up her cards to show Charlotte.
“Good work, sweetie.” Charlotte dropped a kiss on Zoe’s forehead. “Thank you for keeping her occupied.”
“Of course.” Clyde gave her a kind smile and played another card. “I figured you two would want some time to talk.”
“You’re a very astute man, Clyde.”
“Not really.” He glanced at his wife who was moving around the kitchen, making last minute preparations to dinner. “I just know my wife.”
Charlotte saw the way he looked at Theresa and was so happy that her sister had found a man who genuinely loved her. “I hope we all get to know each other better from now on.”
“I know we will.” He faced her again. “Zoe and I are already friends, right?”
“Right!” Zoe slapped down her cards. “I win!”
“You stinker! Again?” Clyde let out an exaggerated sigh and grabbed up the cards to shuffle. “All right, Charlotte, you’re in this next round. Let’s see if we can catch her.”
Zoe dissolved into giggles but happily played another two rounds before Theresa announced dinner was ready.
They ate and chatted over dinner, as if they’d been doing it for ages. There were still a few moments that made one or more of them pause with awkward silence, like when Theresa mentioned their wedding. Charlotte understood exactly why they’d decided to elope. She could understand how torn Theresa would have been over trying to plan or invite people and said as much. For the most part though, it was an enjoyable evening.
After, Charlotte found herself alone with Theresa in the kitchen as her sister tidied up and put the leftover food away. Clyde had hustled Zoe off to watch a princess movie on the big screen in the basement.
“Where are you living anyway?” Theresa asked as she wiped a spot on the counter. “I feel awful that I don’t even know.”
Charlotte told her and had to smile at Theresa’s expression. “It’s not that bad, I promise.”
“And Alexei lives in the same building?” Charlotte had already shared the tale of ‘how they met,’ making both Clyde and Theresa laugh, especially when Zoe demonstrated her stomping skills.
“Yes.” She understood her sister’s incredulity, considering she’d thought the same thing once she got to know him. “He insists that it’s enough for his needs, and an easy drive to both the arena and the airport. He’s hardly home during the season, so he doesn’t feel like he needs much more than he has.”
“I suppose.” Theresa put the cloth back in the sink and gathered up a few of the plastic containers with the leftovers, carrying them to the fridge. “It makes sense since he doesn’t know when he could be traded.”
Charlotte’s stomach flipped at the thought. She didn’t like to think of him being traded and having to move to Phoenix or Miami, or anywhere else, but it could happen.
Theresa turned away from the fridge and smiled at Charlotte. “It makes sense for you to keep your own place too, one you know you can afford. If he up and leaves, you won’t be stuck with some astronomical rent or mortgage.”
“Oh.” Charlotte blinked a few times as she absorbed her sister’s words. She hadn’t considered that as a consequence of him being traded either. She hadn’t considered a lot, floating in her haze of love and sex for the past several weeks. Her heart started to pound and she looked down at the marble surface of the island where she sat.
“Charlotte? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Just thinking about what you said, about being stuck with a mortgage.”
“Oh.” Theresa frowned. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s obvious that Alexei doesn’t mind taking care of you.”
Charlotte didn’t like the sound of that. “He doesn’t take care of me.”
“Oh, well, I just meant– God, I’m such a jerk. Don’t take it the wrong way.” Theresa leaned on the island across from her with a worried frown. “I’m speaking from my own experience, not yours.”
“What do you mean?”
Theresa chewed on her bottom lip for a long moment before blowing out a breath. “Well, when I was in my last year of grad school, I was seeing this guy.”
“Okay.”
“He asked if I wanted to share a place to rent once the spring semester was finished and I said yes.”
Charlotte blinked. She could see where this was going even before Theresa finished.
“We found a place that was a little expensive, but with us splitting rent and bills, it was fine.” Theresa rolled her eyes towards the ceiling and let out a heavy sigh. “And then in September he announced that he’d found a job in Minneapolis and was taking it. Leaving me with the rent and all the expenses.”
“Oh, jeez.” Charlotte sucked in a breath. “That must have been stressful.”
Theresa let out a dry laugh. “You could say that. I was living off free samples from the corner grocery store for a couple weeks when all my savings ran out and didn’t know what I was going to do.”
“What did you do?”
“I considered calling Mom and Dad, but ended up getting lucky and found a roommate just in time.”
“Clyde.” Charlotte smiled, having already heard the rest of this story. They’d been roommates, and less than a month into living with each other, they’d fallen hard. Once the lease on that place had ended, they’d decided to move into a new place all their own, and eventually, get married. “I didn’t realize it was because another guy had skipped out on you.”
Theresa cringed and nodded. “Yeah. I got very lucky.” She met Charlotte’s gaze and leaned across the island to clasp one of her hands. “And I don’t mean to make it sound like Alexei would do that to you.”
There were the skipping heartbeats again. Charlotte swallowed and looked down at Theresa’s hand. “I know you didn’t mean that.”
“I just worry. Now that we’re sisters again.”
Charlotte lifted her eyes and managed a weak smile. “We were always sisters.”
“I know you’re smart and capable of taking care of yourself. More than I ever was at your age, that’s for sure.” Theresa let her hand go. “I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes I did, jumping into something so fast without a back-up plan.”
“I won’t.” And she hadn’t. Yet. Had she?
“I mean, I’m probably getting ahead of myself. You’ve only been seeing each other, what? A month?”
“Two, officially.” Charlotte squinted as she counted back. “A little less than that, I guess.”
“So you’re not even thinking about living together or anything, right?” Theresa patted her hand one more time before straightening up. “You’re smart enough to not get stuck like I did.”
Well, Charlotte wasn’t so sure about that. She wasn’t exactly living the high life on her own. She remembered Sarah’s joking comment before the gala and sighed.
“Are you okay?”
Charlotte blinked, looking up, and realized she’d been silent for several minutes. Her sister was watching her with an uncertain expression. “I’m fine. Just thinking.”
“Okay.” Theresa gave her another long look before moving around the island and finishing with her dinner clean up. “Anyway, I don’t know Alexei as well as you do.”
“No. You haven’t had a chance to spend any time with him.”
“I’m sure I will, right?” Theresa smiled at her as she put a bowl away in the cupboards. “He seemed like a very dashing boyfriend when we met the other night.”
Charlotte rubbed a thumb over the marble surface of the island, giving her sister a distracted nod. But in her head, her thoughts were spinning and tumbling over each other. Did she already rely on Alexei for too much? Was he going to get traded in the spring and she’d be left struggling to find time to care for Zoe and herself? All on her own again?
“Charlotte? Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry if what I said upset you.” Theresa came around the island to her side, perching on the stool beside hers. “You’re not like I was when I got screwed. You won’t lose your head like I did, or end up stuck like I was. You’re obviously capable of taking care of yourself and won’t let yourself get swept away by a handsome, rich man.”
Charlotte blinked, absorbing her sister’s words. She knew Theresa didn’t mean anything by them. She was projecting her own concerns on Charlotte’s life and logically, Charlotte knew what she said was reasonable advice, but it burned all the same. Doubts, guilt, every emotion she’d had and shoved aside over the past few months surged to the forefront of her mind once again.
“Not that I’d blame you either. After everything you’ve been through, of course I understand the urge to let someone take care of you.” Theresa’s hand squeezed around hers. “But you’ll always make the right decisions. You always have.”
Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down with a short nod. She didn’t know what else to say or do in response to Theresa’s words. She slipped her hand from under her sister’s and slid off the stool.
She needed to go, to get away from more of Theresa’s well-meaning comments. She didn’t want to think about getting stuck again, about being alone with no one but herself to rely on. Was that where she was already though? She already didn’t know how to spend her days without Alexei by her side.
“I think it’s time we were going. It’s getting late and Zoe has a bedtime.”
“Oh, sure. Of course.” Theresa’s voice was light but Charlotte could tell she’d hurt her sister.
Ignoring even more guilt, she walked downstairs to gather her daughter and say goodnight to Clyde. Back upstairs in the foyer, the couple hugged them both after they donned their coats and waved as they walked out to the waiting car.
“It’s cold, Mommy.” Zoe gave an exaggerated shiver that made Charlotte smile, albeit a small one.
She cranked the heat vent all the way up and headed home, Theresa’s words ringing in her head.
─────
Alexei was worried. It was new, in the grand scheme of things, and yet, ever since two pairs of perfect aquamarine eyes had met his, it was a sort of general state of being now. He didn’t like being away from them, though his game was as on-point as ever. When he called after his first game on the road trip, both his girls had been fine, happy, and maybe a bit tired since it had been late, especially after the last half of his conversation with Charlotte.
In between games three and four, the evening after Charlotte and Zoe had been with Theresa and Clyde for dinner, Zoe was as she always was, chatty and exuberant. Charlotte, on the other hand, was not herself.
Alexei waited patiently as Charlotte put Zoe to bed, listening to the little girl’s sleepy yawns over the phone. He said one more goodnight when Charlotte handed Zoe the phone, and then waited, listening as Charlotte closed Zoe’s door and started turning off the lights in their apartment.
“Are you sure you’re all right, lyubov?”
“I’m fine.”
Her tone suggested otherwise.
“Did something happen with your sister?”
Charlotte sighed, a heavy sound and it made Alexei wish he was there so he could see her face.
“Nothing happened. Dinner was fine.”
Fine. Awful word. Alexei’s lips twisted and he paced across his hotel room to the window, staring at the unfamiliar Vancouver skyline. “Something is wrong and you can tell me whatever it is. I want to help.”
“There’s nothing to help, Alexei. I said I’m fine, and I mean it.”
“Then why are you snapping at me?”
“I’m sorry for snapping.” Her tone was still snappy even as she apologized.
Alexei rubbed his closed eyes, stifling his own sigh of frustration. This was the first time they’d had any sort of tension since their initial meetings, and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. He needed to try something different, since asking her outright wasn’t getting him anywhere.
“What did you have for dinner?”
“Dinner?” She seemed surprised by the question. “Oh, this casserole thing, with chicken and broccoli, and garlic bread.”
“Sounds delicious. Did Zoe eat all of hers?”
“She did. She even asked for a second helping.”
“Really?” That surprised Alexei. Over the last week before he’d left on the road trip, the little redhead had been acting more fussy with her food options. Maybe it was a phase. “How were the roads on the drive? I saw how much it snowed there yesterday.”
“They weren’t great.” There was some rustling and Alexei pictured Charlotte climbing into bed. “But I went slow and avoided the higher traffic areas.”
“What neighborhood do Theresa and Clyde live in?”
Charlotte told him and he nodded to himself, still staring out the window. “That’s a nice area.”
“It really is.” Another long sigh. “Theresa says they’re trying to have kids.”
“Oh. That’s nice.” He blinked at his reflection on the glass. “She told you that?”
“Yeah. She showed me the house and she already has a room painted as a nursery.”
“I bet it was nice.” Was that all he could say suddenly? Nice? He cleared his throat and moved away from the window. “Their house must have been large.”
“It was.”
Charlotte fell silent as Alexei made his way to his own bed and slipped under the covers.
“Charlotte?”
She replied with a loud yawn, making him smile at last.
“I’ll let you go so you can sleep.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yes, I’ll call before we go to the arena for the game.”
“Sounds good. Good night.” And she ended the call before he could say anything else.
For a few minutes after the call ended, he stared down at the blank screen of his phone, rubbing his thumb over the corner. Something had happened at that dinner and he was going to find out what it was, as soon as he was back home with his girls.
─────
In the days between the dinner with Theresa and Christmas Eve, Charlotte focused on her routine. Work, sleep, taking Zoe to and from daycare. She managed to fit in a bit of Christmas shopping for her daughter and helped Zoe make a couple handmade gifts for Ursula, Sarah, and Sarah’s mother, Gladys. They would see everyone on Christmas day, as was their usual routine, and the day after Christmas, Charlotte and Zoe would be back at Theresa and Clyde’s for a family dinner. With the whole family, Charlotte’s parents included. To say she was nervous about that was an understatement.
Throughout all of the planning and shopping and getting through every single day, she couldn’t shake the conversation with Theresa from her mind. She replayed it over and over again, told herself it was just Theresa being a concerned big sister, that it didn’t mean anything. So what if Theresa had been screwed over by a guy? It didn’t mean Alexei would do the same to her. Especially if she ended things before he did, before she got any more wrapped up in him and let herself get swept away. It was a sound course of action, she told herself. She’d gone it alone before, she could do it again.
Christmas Eve was on a Sunday and Ursula had the store open for a few hours in the morning, for any last minute shoppers. She didn’t force anyone to work, but Charlotte offered to work the shift and took Zoe with her, since daycare was closed. The little girl was content to sit behind the desk, coloring in her coloring books and playing with the My Little Ponies she’d brought along.
Charlotte also knew she was avoiding being home for Alexei’s return. They’d spoken on the phone every day, as usual, and she thought she’d masked her confusion and guilt well enough, though he did ask if everything was okay now and again. The man was far too astute for her peace of mind. She owed him a face-to-face conversation before it was over.
Ursula spent some time with Zoe behind the counter and Charlotte found them discussing the option of coloring a mermaid’s hair green or purple when she returned from a bathroom break.
“My vote is for green.” Charlotte leaned on the counter, eyeing the picture in question.
Zoe looked up with a frown. “Green?”
“Yeah, like the seaweed. It would be awesome camouflage, right?”
“You’re right.” Zoe picked up the green crayon. “You’re so smart, Mommy.”
Ursula patted the little girl’s head and winked at Charlotte. “You’re right, Zoe. You’re mom is very smart.” Her smile dimmed as she took in Charlotte’s expression. “Are you all right, honey?”
Charlotte pasted a smile on her face and turned away to fuss with a nearby display of towels decorated with Santa faces. Ursula came around from behind the counter and took Charlotte’s elbow in one hand, leading her away from Zoe.
“Come on now. You can tell me. Is something going on at home? Are things okay with Alexei?” Ursula frowned as she asked, keeping her voice pitched low so Zoe wouldn’t overhear.
“I’m fine.”
Ursula’s expression changed. She had her ‘stern mom’ face on now. Charlotte wilted and rubbed a hand over her face.
“All right, everything’s not fine. I’m going to end things with Alexei.” There. She said it. Out loud. And still felt like throwing up. She pressed a hand to her chest to keep from vomiting all over her boss.
“What in the world are you talking about? Did he hurt you? Or Zoe?”
“What?” Charlotte scowled and shook her head, her stomach still churning. “Of course not. He’d never hurt anyone, least of all us.”
“Did he say something? Did he cheat on this road trip?”
“No.” Something else she knew without even having to ask. Alexei was a perfect gentleman. The perfect man. And that’s exactly why she couldn’t stay with him.
“Help me out here, hon. Why on earth would you dump him then? I saw the way you two look at each other when he visited the store last time. That’s not something you see every day.”
Charlotte turned away as warmth flooded her chest and crept up her neck. Just what she needed. A fever to go with the stomach flipping over. “We’re not right for each other, okay?”
“No, that’s not okay.” Ursula tugged her around to face her again and placed her hands on Charlotte’s shoulders. “Talk, young lady.”
Damn. She was breaking out the ‘young lady’ to go along with stern-mom face. “We’re not. I’m a single mom and he’s a hotshot professional hockey player. We’re not going to be together forever, so I’m ending things with him, before he can end them with me.”
“You think he’s going to end things?”
Charlotte shrugged. “I don’t know. Not today, but some day. Like I said, there’s nothing he could possibly want from me. What could I ever offer to someone like him?”
“Oh, I don’t know. A life of love and happiness?”
“Please.” Charlotte scoffed. “That’s the last thing I should be expecting from him. One trade and we’d never see each other again.”
“Not unless he married you.”
Charlotte blinked and tried to laugh but her heart ached too much. Someone like Alexei, with all his talent and life experience, would never propose to her, a single mom with no prospects. “He’s not going to marry me.”
“You never know, hon.” Ursula dropped her hands. “But you know your own mind. I’ll say this though, don’t go putting the cart before the horse.”
Charlotte’s mouth pinched at the expression, making the older woman smile and pat her arm.
“As in, don’t break up with Alexei unless you have a good reason.”
Oh, she had a good reason. She knew it. Didn’t she?
─────
Alexei wanted to wait at Charlotte and Zoe’s apartment for them to get home from the store, but he wasn’t sure if Charlotte would welcome that. Sure they’d talked every day but it had been stilted and overly polite, as if they were nothing more than mild acquaintances.
So when he got home from the airport, he started a load of laundry and changed into workout clothes before deciding to do some yoga. After being squeezed into the plane for the long flight back from Los Angeles, he needed to get in some stretching to unwind.
He was finishing up the last pose when he heard the familiar noise of Zoe entering the apartment above. Straightening up, he wiped his neck with his towel and crossed his apartment to grab his phone from his dresser. He normally wouldn’t bother checking first, but after the way things had been, he didn’t want to push Charlotte.
He shot her a quick text and waited with his phone in hand for a reply. Above his head, he heard more quick footsteps, then the sound of Zoe throwing herself onto the couch. All of it made him smile, especially when he recalled how much the noise used to irritate him. A lifetime ago, or so it seemed.
Charlotte didn’t respond to his text and the longer it took, the more disgruntled Alexei grew. She had to realize he knew they were home. Why was she ignoring him?
Setting his phone down, he quickly changed out of his workout clothes and headed for the door. He wasn’t going to make this a fight but he wasn’t going to let her shut him out either.
Upstairs, he knocked before barging in and Charlotte must have been in the kitchen because she actually pulled the door open before he could. She gave him a half-hearted smile, her eyes darting away from his.
“Hey. Sorry, I was going to reply to your text in a minute.”
He grunted something that might have been a response as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
“Grumpy!” Zoe launched herself at his legs and he smiled in earnest at the little girl, bending to give her a quick head pat. “I missed you but we watched all your games.”
“Did you?” He glanced at Charlotte, who had moved away, pulling clean dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away in the cupboards. All while not looking or acknowledging him at all.
“Yes. You were the best!”
Chuckling, Alexei let Zoe pull him inside and over to the couch. She chattered away, filling him in on everything he’d missed over the past two weeks. After a while, Charlotte joined them, though she still wouldn’t meet his gaze. It was really starting to get to him.
“How was the store this morning? Busy?”
At his question, with Zoe engrossed in the movie on the TV, Charlotte shrugged and glanced at him for a split-second. “Not very. A few people stopped in but it wasn’t anything crazy.”
“That’s good. And only you and Ursula were there?”
“And me,” Zoe piped up from his other side, grinning up at him.
“And you.” He patted her knee. “I bet you did all the hard work, right?”
Zoe nodded, all seriousness, making even Charlotte crack a smile.
Alexei looked back at Charlotte. “Can I make dinner for you tonight?”
She hesitated, the look crossing her face making his stomach clench. With what, he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like it. Something was really off and he needed to get to the bottom of it.
“Can we have hamburgers?” Zoe asked.
“You want hamburgers?” Alexei glanced at Charlotte who nodded. “All right. Hamburgers it is. Wait, how about cheeseburgers?”
The next half hour turned into a debate of cheeseburgers versus hamburgers versus hot dogs, and Zoe was ready to arm wrestle him to the death that hot dogs beat hamburgers.
At some point, Charlotte asked if he could keep her occupied while she wrapped the last of Zoe’s presents in her bedroom.
“Of course.” He stood up though and followed her into the bedroom. They wouldn’t get into it here and now, but he wanted to do one thing.
As they rounded the corner, disappearing from Zoe’s sight, Alexei tugged Charlotte into his arms and held her snug to his chest. She resisted, her body stiff for a long moment. Then her arms came up to his back and she hugged him back. It was over all too quickly when she pulled back, her cheeks flushed as she avoided his gaze.
“Hey.” He grasped her chin and forced her to look up at him. “I missed you.”
She blinked and let out a shaky breath. “I– missed you, too.”
What was going on with her? Alexei exhaled and bent to brush a kiss over her lips. He kept it light, knowing this wasn’t the time or place, but she let out a trembling breath at the soft contact. He let her go and closed the bedroom door behind him as he rejoined Zoe in the living room. He’d give Charlotte the space to do the presents and they’d talk later.
After the movie ended, Alexei and Zoe got up to start getting dinner ready together. He had to pause to answer a couple phone calls, and some text messages from a few teammates asking if he had plans for the night. It was nice, and had always been nice in previous years that no one on the team was left alone for the holidays, whether they celebrated them or not. This year though, in spite of whatever tension there was with Charlotte, Alexei was happy to have his own family to celebrate with.
After dinner, Zoe fished through the presents on the floor under the Christmas tree, toying with a ribbon here or there, but not shaking anything. She’d tried once but Charlotte had threatened to hide them all until after Christmas if she did it again.
Finally, Zoe and Charlotte set out the plate of cookies and glass of milk for Santa, along with a scrawled note that Alexei helped Zoe write. Then it was story-time and Zoe conked out a little later than usual, but with her usual ease.
Left alone together, Alexei wanted to grill Charlotte on what was going through her head. His first instinct was to plow in headfirst, much like he did on the ice when facing an opponent. But this wasn’t hockey, and Charlotte had no protective gear. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, and he suspected she was already hurting. Over what, he didn’t know.
He helped her clean up the kitchen, stuff Zoe’s stocking with all her Santa treats, and then followed her into the bedroom when she went to change.
“Lyubov moya, talk to me.” He leaned on the wall beside her walk-in closet and crossed his arms. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” Still, she refused to look at him as she shucked her jeans and sweater, slipping into light cotton pants and a T-shirt that had seen better days.
“You’ve been upset about something for days. Ever since dinner with your sister.” He didn’t move as she turned to leave the closet, blocking her with his body. They were going to talk about this. “What happened?”
“I told you, nothing happened. Dinner was fine.” She looked up at him, her chin tilting up at a stubborn angle. “I’m fine.”
“No. Don’t lie to me.”
Charlotte’s eyes darted over his face, then away. Her hands fluttered in front of her midsection before she clenched them into fists. “I don’t want to do this right now, not on Christmas Eve.”
His stomach took a dive. “Do what?”
“Alexei, don’t.”
He moved then, reaching for her hands and holding them between his own. “Have I done something? Are you angry with me?”
“Of course not.” Her tone was bitter and laced with frustration. “You’re perfect, what could I possibly be angry with you over?”
He blinked. “I’m not perfect.”
“Let me go, please. We can talk after Christmas.”
“About what?”
“Alexei–”
“No.” He shook his head, squeezing her hands once. “I can’t enjoy my night and tomorrow with you knowing that something is upsetting you this much. Let me help, let me make it better for you.”
“You can’t, okay?” She tugged at her hands, trying to draw them away. “There’s nothing you can do to fix this.”
“Fix what?”
She stared up at him, her lips pressed into a thin line and her eyes growing watery with tears.
“This isn’t working, Alexei.”
“What isn’t?”
“Us.” She jerked on her hands again and he released her, the single word washing over him like a bucket of ice water. “We aren’t working. This isn’t working. I can’t keep doing this.”
“What are you talking about?”
She shifted on her feet, looking at some spot over his shoulder as he tried to get his thoughts in order. She was… breaking up with him?
“Alexei, we’ve both been having a great time, and you’re wonderful with Zoe, I can’t deny that. But honestly, what are we doing? How long were we going to do this?”
He shook his head, each word rattling him more and more. “I don’t understand.”
She made a frustrated noise and brushed past him, walking to the far side of her bed and the room. “Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be, okay? I think we should just call it now.”
He faced her across her bed, his mind reeling. “What are you talking about?” He could not comprehend what she was saying.
She threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t know how to say it any more clearly, Alexei. I can’t see you anymore.”
“Why?”
That stumped her for a second and her mouth opened and closed a few times. “I just– I think we’re not right for each other.”
“That’s a lie.” He scowled and crossed his arms over his chest again. “We’re exactly right for each other.”
“No, we’re not. I’m a disaster, one bad winter drive away from needing a new car, and going nowhere in a hurry with my life.”
“That’s not true.” Well, the thing about her car might be true, but he’d just buy her another one. That certainly wasn’t a reason to stop seeing each other.
“No.”
He glanced up at her. “No, what?”
“I can see it on your face. You’re not going to buy me a new car.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re not going to be together anymore, Alexei. This is over.”
“You haven’t given me one good reason yet.”
More mouth gaping. She glared at him. “I just did!”
“Nothing that made sense. You think I care about your car or your job?”
“You’d be an idiot not to. What could I possibly bring to this relationship?”
“What do you need to bring?”
“I don’t know.” She threw her hands up and paced along the side of her bed. “Anything. Anything that’s not an obligation or duty. You don’t need to be taking care of me.”
“I like taking care of you, and Zoe.” It was true. He’d lived his whole life never caring for anyone but himself and nothing had brought him joy like doing things for his girls in the past two months. He couldn’t imagine his life being any different now that he had them in it.
“Well, I don’t need you to.” She faced him and lifted her chin, her expression fierce.
“I know you don’t.”
“And I don’t need to become so utterly dependent on you that I can’t take care of myself and my daughter when you get tired of us.”
“What?” He shook his head, not following. “You think I’ll get tired of you?”
“Won’t you? That’s how relationships work.”
“Is that honestly what you think?”
Her cheeks turned a darker shade and she looked away. “I don’t know. I guess so.”
“Because I can’t see myself ever growing tired of you, or Zoe.”
“You say that now, but forever is a long time.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Look, I didn’t want to make this a big, dramatic thing. I just think we’re in different places in our lives and I don’t want you sticking around out of some sense of obligation.”
“I’m not.”
“Alexei, it’s fine. You’re a great catch. You’ll find someone better in no time.”
Something inside him snapped at her words, at last spurring him to a different reaction. He stalked around the bed, her perfect aquamarine eyes going wide at his approach. He grasped her by the upper arms and bent low so their faces were level.
“Do not say that. I want no one else in my life but you.”
Her lips parted, a soft breath leaving her. He barreled on, not giving her a chance to speak, to spout more lies.
“I love you. And Zoe. I have no desire to look for someone else, now or ever.”
“Alexei, you can’t know that.”
He wanted to shake her. Did she doubt him so much? Where had he gone wrong that she didn’t know this already? Failure and guilt swamped him and he swallowed hard before speaking again.
“I do know that. I didn’t know what a family was, or how to love before, but I didn’t need to. Everything in my life has led me here, to you.” He rested his forehead on hers, swallowing again, his voice rough when it came out. “I don’t need another ten or fifteen years to know I’ll never grow tired of you, and your smiles, and the scent of your skin when we wake up in the morning. I don’t need another five days, never mind years.”
Her breath caught and he stared into her eyes, willing her to see that he meant every word. “I will never give you up, Charlotte. Never. You are my life now and I will spend every day making you understand that.”
“Alexei–”
He straightened, shaking his head. “No. Say nothing else about this. I will give you some space now, to let you think.”
“Space?”
“Yes.” He nodded once, dropping his hold on her. “I won’t push you tonight–” though he dearly wanted to, “–but know this: I’m not letting you go, lyubov. I don’t care what you think or assume, we’re in this together.”
He walked away then, because if he stayed, he’d toss her on the bed and prove with his mouth and body that she belonged to him always. And he meant what he said. She needed space and some time. They’d talk again, because he wasn’t going to let her go and he’d do whatever he needed to in order to make her understand.