A Joke – The Vandemonium Sequel

A JOKE — THE VANDEMONIUM SEQUEL

 

 

by Vandemonium1

 

After reading Agena’s original classic and all the sequels I could find, I have to say, I found them generally unsatisfying. None of them went far enough to satisfy my sense of justice except Tx_Tall_Tales, which, believe it or not, went too far for my taste. Yes, I have boundaries! If you share my world view, then I hope you enjoy my addition.

My story begins about halfway through Agena’s Chapter 2, found here https://www.literotica.com/s/a-joke-ch-02. After his paragraph that ends, “I really missed Flo and the warmth and love she had brought to our marriage before the jokes started.” Our hero has pretty much decided to forgive his wife and is just waiting on the results of the lie detector test to call her.

As you’re reading this, I ask you not to make the same mistake many commenters did with my sequel to ‘How High a Price’. I ask you to judge how I stuck to the character’s natures from Agena’s original and not how they were developed in sequels by other authors.

Once again, your thanks should go to the beautiful CreativityTakesCourage for improving this story with her editing skills. You can read her stories on this site and our joint stories under the username SemperAmare. When we are together, we’re a killer team and I think that shows in our joint stories.

I wrote to Agena twice, asking for his blessing to publish this sequel but haven’t heard back. His profile hasn’t been updated since 2014 so I assume he’s moved on from LE.

This is a sequel. If you don’t like them, stop reading now. Or, if it pleases you, keep reading then comment on how much you hate sequels. I like a good laugh as much as the next guy.

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On the morning of the test, I felt quite sanguine. I was ninety-nine-point-nine percent convinced that it had, indeed, all been a joke. All that was needed was a clear report from the lie detector test and I would welcome Flo home with a certainty that after the scare my reaction to their latest joke had given her, I would never again be the butt of any stupid pranks.

That warm glow lasted until the phone rang at a little after ten. It was Alice.

“Jim, it’s Alice. I found something you really need to see. Roger is at the testing center, can you come over straight away?”

The tone of her voice didn’t bode well, so I headed next door with speed. As was our custom, I walked straight in the front door and heard Alice yell that she was in the study. I walked in to see her sitting at the desktop computer; a worried look on her face.

“Jim, I want you to see something.”

I pulled a chair up.

“Jim, Roger has been acting a little secretive since Tuesday. A couple of times I’ve passed the door here and he’s hurriedly minimised something. He’s also taken to leaving the room when he’s on the phone sometimes. Yesterday, I’m pretty sure he was on the phone to Flo. Just now was the first chance I’ve had to look at our computer without him in the house.”

With that, Alice clicked on the Google icon at the bottom of the screen; the application opened.

“I don’t know if Roger realises that unless you delete them, all Google searches are saved. This is a history of his searches since Tuesday.”

My blood ran cold as I read some of what had been researched. There were four different variants along the theme of, ‘How to fool a lie detector test.’ Alice and I sat side by side and over the next thirty minutes read many of the pages Alice’s husband had been perusing. When we’d read enough, we retired to her lounge room and discussed what we thought it all meant.

We were still talking when we heard Roger’s car pull up outside. Soon, the front door opened and the man himself walked in. He eyed me warily, mumbled a greeting, then walked to the couch opposite Alice and I before sitting down. If I hadn’t been looking for it, I might have missed the slight limp as he favoured his left foot. That was the only answer I needed.

“Rog, I presume you will pass the test with flying colors. Truth be told, I was pretty much convinced nothing had happened that day anyway.”

I saw Alice giving me a bewildered look out of the corner of my eye. Roger had returned before I’d had a chance to tell her my plan.

“If you’re willing to swear that you and Flo will never pull another stunt as long as you live, I’m willing to come over there and shake your hand to put it all behind us. Shucks, I probably won’t even bother reading the report.”

A look of immense relief suffused his face and he readily gave me his word that he was a reformed man. Smiling, I stood and moved toward him. He slowly rose to meet me. Extending my right hand, I took an extra step and stood firmly on his right foot. A move like that should have resulted in slight discomfort. Instead, the blood drained from his face before he uttered a blood curdling scream while throwing his body back onto the couch. Desperately, he used both hands to remove his foot from under mine, before ripping his shoe off.

Alice and I watched as the shoe finally came off. We could see blood dripping from his thin sock. He was still groaning quite satisfactorily. A sideways glance at Alice told me she was confused about the blood. I continued to watch her face, smiling when I saw the penny drop and she made the connection between what we’d read earlier and the wound in Roger’s foot.

“I won’t bother reading the report because I know it will be a load of crap. Did that nail you drove through your shoe hurt when you pressed down on it when answering their control questions in order to elevate your baseline results? It had to, didn’t it? Make yourself sweat, increase your pulse rate through the harmless questions, so when you told your porkies the results wouldn’t stand out as lies.”

The pain on Roger’s face eased a little, to be replaced by a look of desperation as he glanced from me to Alice.

“Yes, I did cheat, and I told Flo how to as well. But not for the reason you think, man.”

“Really? Listen up, Alice; this should be good.”

Alice and I sat back down as Roger gingerly applied pressure to his sole to staunch the bleeding. I looked at Alice to see her scowling at the mess he was making on the floor. I thought about suggesting to her that he be made to clean up the carpet with his tongue.

To give him his due, Roger didn’t seem to be thinking what to say to spin this new development. Finally.

“We didn’t know what questions you’d given the guy.

“What’s so complicated about ‘have you two fucked?'” I interrupted.

“Yes, I know we would have both passed that one with flying colours, but we were worried you’d slip in something more subtle.”

“Like?”

“Like, well, has our behaviour always been such that it would pass the spouse test.”

At this point, Alice butted in angrily.

“And the answer to that one was obviously a big fat, ‘no’. Why else would you go to the trouble of sticking a damn nail in your shoe before the test? I’m guessing that the fact you came over with the nail still in means you forgot to take spare shoes or a set of pliers. You never were much good at thinking ahead, were you?”

“Please, honey, I didn’t want to lose you, and Flo certainly didn’t want to lose Jim.”

“So, my darling husband, when and what did you do that wouldn’t pass the spouse test?”

Roger squirmed in his seat and replied in a very small voice.

“It was that day. We meant to just pretend we were doing something upstairs. I was lying on my back and Flo straddled me. We were both fully clothed you understand,” he hurriedly added. “We were bouncing up and down to make the bed squeak and I don’t even remember who started it but… somehow, I ended up rubbing her under her skirt, through her panties, and she started rubbing my cock through my trousers. Um, we both ended up cumming for real. We were so stupid.”

I was a little confused. I’m not a bad judge of character and this smacked of truthfulness. If it wasn’t, then Roger was extremely good at coming up with excuses on the fly. I looked over at Alice.

“Is that good enough for you?”

“No, not by a long shot. The pair of them have proven they’re such consummate liars and schemers that I’m nowhere near satisfied. Roger, put some antiseptic on your foot, bandage it, then I think you’d better leave. I have some thinking to do, not to mention another fine mess of yours to clean up,” Alice snapped, indicating the stain on the carpet by Roger’s foot.

If Roger wasn’t a fantastic actor, then the look of terror on his face showed he was worried beyond belief about the future of his marriage.

He blurted out, “I have a video!”

Alice’s, “What?” Came out almost simultaneously to my, “What video?” We sounded like a sick version of two people singing in harmony.

“I set up a video camera in our bedroom before we handcuffed you in the basement. I filmed the whole thing.”

I beat Alice to the punch.

“Then why the fuck didn’t you say that days ago?”

Roger didn’t have to answer that one. If the video showed them jerking each other off, even fully clothed, it wasn’t what two spouses desperate to reconcile with their partners would want made public. I, for one, firmly believe that the boundary of infidelity falls way short of actual penetrative sex. Any form of intimacy, even a kiss on the lips, would be a crossing of the line.

“I wanted to, but Flo thought you’d go ballistic.”

We told Roger to clean his foot up then grab the video. While he was out of the room, I sent Flo a text. I couldn’t resist putting a nail in her coffin of fear. ‘Pull the nail out of your shoe and come over to Alice’s house. Roger is going to show us the video.’

Now, it’s normally about a one minute walk from Mary’s place to ours, but it was a good thirty-five before there was a knock on the door. Alice opened it and ushered in Flo and her sister, Mary. Flo’s makeup was ruined and her eyes red rimmed. Mary explained that my wife was panic stricken once she read my text and realized I was onto the nail game. Flo looked nowhere near as relaxed about the test results as Roger had been when he first came home. Mary merely looked at me and raised her eyebrows at Flo’s further self-destructive behaviour.

Flo tried for a hug, but I steered her to sit on the couch beside me. She kept glancing at my face; I suppose for a clue as to how I was feeling. I wondered if Mary had any inkling as to what was on the video.

Alice and I hadn’t been idle for the thirty-five minutes. Our conversation had revolved around what we’d likely do if the video turned out to show exactly what Roger said it did. Alice had already decided she would probably forgive Roger for letting the situation in the bedroom get out of hand; after letting him stew for a while, that is.

I was more ambivalent. My emotional reflex was that my wife had cheated on me, which I’d always sworn was unforgivable. My logic circuits were calmer, though. Flo had been an exemplary wife for twenty-four years and our children had already made it known they’d be devastated if I didn’t forgive her.

Within a minute of everyone getting settled, Roger appeared with his laptop. There was a USB thumb drive sticking out of one of the ports and a cable from another. He set the computer next to the TV and plugged it in. I thought it odd that he didn’t just stick the thumb drive in the TV, but then remembered Alice telling me he wasn’t that tech savvy.

Once the image on the computer screen was matched on the TV, Roger mumbled another apology and pressed play. Flo was looking away from everyone else in the room and the TV. She knew my stance on fidelity, and this had to be a horribly embarrassing situation for her. Mary was looking attentively at the screen as if she had no idea what was coming. Roger was looking more relaxed again. He seated himself beside Alice and tried to grab her hand, but she pulled it away.

The clip only went for about ten minutes and pretty much showed what Roger had already described. It was almost completely unsexual. Within a few seconds of it starting, both protagonists appeared, fully clothed as Roger had said, Flo pushed him onto his back, then straddled him, back to the camera and mouthing the lines that were etched in my sole. Word for word. We saw that it was Roger who’d initiated the hand play, but he only beat Flo by seconds.

I found it very hard to watch, for several reasons. Firstly, because no man with any self-esteem and outside the sicko cuckold set wants to watch his wife with another guy in that situation. Second, it triggered an ugly post traumatic episode for me as I once again heard the words that had so devastated me less than a week ago. It made my wrists burn and throb in memory of my helplessness to prevent what was happening in the room above me. About half-way through I ended up closing my eyes and trying to block out the noise.

I didn’t open my eyes again until the hush that followed their mutual climaxes filled the room. Never had a silence felt so loud and pervasive. Judging by everyone in the room’s stillness–not even the normal sounds of breathing could be heard–I wasn’t alone in my feelings.

I watched the screen, seeing Flo and Roger separate very quickly before leaving the camera view. The video stopped, showing an empty bed.

The complete silence in the room lasted for several uncomfortable seconds after the clip ended. Mary eyed Flo disgustedly. Roger looked to Alice hopefully. Flo was focussed on a spot on the floor in the corner.

The silence was broken by Alice jumping to her feet, quickly followed by Roger.

“You lousy, stinking, cheating cunt.”

The words from the diminutive nurse were shocking. The worse I’d ever heard her utter in the past was damn or bloody. It certainly shocked Roger if the expression on his face was anything to go by. The crack as her open hand hit his cheek was like a gunshot. Foam was frothing from her mouth. I can honestly say I’d never seen someone that angry.

“But, honey…”

“Don’t you honey me, you conniving little prick!”

Roger ducked and thus avoided a second slap landing. He grimaced as he put weight on his right foot. He looked confused.

“That whole video was a crock of shit.”

“But why…”

“We invited Jim and Flo over in the late afternoon, didn’t we? We were going to sit outside on the patio, weren’t we? Don’t you remember, Dear?” Alice asked, though it sounded more like a snarl. “But we decided to have it indoors because it pissed down with rain all afternoon. Remember now?”

Roger still looked confused but nodded assent to what Alice was saying. Furiously, Alice pointed at the TV screen.

“Look at that, you dumb prick. There’s sunlight streaming in the window. Not only was this filmed on a sunny day, but in the morning. That window loses the direct sun before noon. You fabricated the whole fucking thing, didn’t you?”

Roger’s face lost its confused look and took on one of terror. It was all the admission of guilt I needed. The sudden mental swing from considering forgiveness to implacable resolution was embarrassing, and I hate being embarrassed. I could and, in fact, did accept there may have been a valid reason to cheat on the lie detector test. There was only one reason they’d fake the video.

The next few seconds were very busy. Flo let out a loud moan and bolted out the front door. Mary just sat there stunned. Alice advanced on Roger, who tried to get past me to use me as a shield. I took one step and brought my foot down on his injured one with all my might. Instinctively, he doubled over. As his head attained the near horizontal, it met my knee going the other way. His head snapped up again, blood spraying from a flattened nose. He joined Flo in headlong flight away from the house.

The three of us remaining, were locked in a gruesome tableau. Alice stood, shaking, and with tears rolling down her face. I knew exactly how she felt. For the second time in a week, the person who I’d loved unconditionally for nearly a quarter of century had ripped my heart to shreds. That it was the same person who had raised my hopes in between episodes, was doubly stunning. Mary continued to sit and stare at the TV screen, stunned, I suppose, by her sister’s stupidity. Stupidity, and, if I was any judge, horrified by the lies she’d no doubt been told over the last week by Flo.

I walked over to Alice and took her in my arms. I held her while she trembled uncontrollably over the death of her marriage. Me? I’d always preferred to mourn in private. I would do it later. In the here and now, I was coldly, clinically calm, as I get in a crisis, and was already starting to assemble a list of questions and avenues of investigation.

And, I was already starting to regret letting Roger get away with only a broken nose.

I glanced at Mary, wondering why she remained. Was it to apologise for her part in all this once we were settled down? Was it being unable to drag her gaze away from observing the train wreck right in front of her? Or was it to wait until we were calmer to once again intercede on her sister’s behalf?

With no way of answering that without breaking contact with Alice, and with no intention of doing that, I let my mind do a high-speed drift.

That Roger was quite clever, manipulative, and a good actor, were all now apparent. Although, not as clever as Alice, it seemed. If she hadn’t spotted the sunlight clue, we would even now probably both still be part of two successful couples. In hindsight, the remade video was inspired. I still had trouble reconciling it with being a fake. I would stake my life on the soundtrack being true to the words with which I’d been subjected to over that weekend.

The inevitable logical conclusion that certainty led to, fitted exactly into the same shaped slot in my mind like the second last piece of a jigsaw.

Either they’d dubbed an old soundtrack onto new visual footage or copied the words and sounds manually. Both scenarios were predicated on them having recorded their actions during the original episode. Suddenly, Roger playing the file via his laptop made sense.

With a final hug, I lowered Alice to the couch and walked to the laptop. Thank Christ it hadn’t gone into hibernation yet which would have required a password to regain access. Stupid, I thought to myself. If it had, I could have just looked at the thumb drive on another device. Clearly, my brain was also addled by all that had happened.

With fingers dancing over the mouse pad, I closed the video playback software to be presented by an explorer screen that told us we’d just been watching ‘Me and Flo Take 8’. There were files marked ‘Takes 2 to 7’ as well. Standing out from the others like dog’s balls, were two other files. One called ‘Me and Flo Original’, the other, ‘Basement’.

I double clicked the latter then slid along the progress bar to approximately three quarters of the way along. There I was, suspended from that bar in the damned cellar again, filmed by an obviously hidden camera. I closed the clip; too many bad memories.

The one marked ‘original’ was a much larger file than the subsequent ones. After glancing at Alice, and getting her nod of approval, I clicked on that one. It opened with a view of Roger and Alice’s bedroom. The view was different to Take 8 and caused me to sprint down the hall to that room to compare the two views. A half minute’s detective work led me to the conclusion that the original camera had probably been hidden on a bookshelf, while the subsequent versions were most likely taken from a tripod mounted camera at the foot of the bed.