Loving and Mending

1

The Soucart family had settled in this part of Paris many years ago; the oldest ones, as folklore would have it, once recounting how some of their forebears had been out on the streets in the days of the Revolution and the storming of the Bastille; their service in the Emperor’s Grande Armée; their sufferings as poilus at Verdun and in the muds of the lines elsewhere on the Western Front, much closer to home.

The area of the arrondissement, Oberkampf, had been in and out of favour since those times, but at the moment it was very much on the up; a desirable place to be, to shop, and to sample the nightlife and a plethora of restaurants and eateries that catered to the many tastes, and the origins, of their customers as were demanded of them.

With wars, revolutions, civil and national unrest, the loss of colonies and influence once enjoyed, there came an influx of new people; a multitude that had to be assimilated, somehow; their races and languages recognised; their skin colours and habits accepted for the greater good.

There had been an inexorable drift towards change. It unsettled some; it confronted or enforced long-held beliefs, be they of a political or religious kind; racial or social.

Somehow, the Soucart family had negotiated them all, and Louis Soucart, the head of the family the epitome of the old guard; urbane and well-dressed; the possessor of impeccable good manners. He was undoubtedly rich; just as others at the head of related families, who lived close-by, were also wealthy.

In Louis’ case his, and the family’s, wealth had been carefully invested; his property portfolio diverse and spread across the city’s choicest areas. Where he and his wife, Aline, lived was close to where the family’s origins lay; a top floor three bedroomed condominium that with its atrium, and two floors, was light and airy; modern and with its walls glaringly white. On these the family’s treasured paintings were to be seen; the rest of the building yielding a generous cashflow; a separate gated entrance offering them the seclusion, or privacy, that they both craved, a boarded sundeck on a roof top terrace somewhere to enjoy the warm weather and for Aline to practice the simplest of gardening tasks — tending potted plants.

They were alone now; entertained lavishly and frequently; had family suppers, or lunches, that gave them an opportunity to see their children; Edouard and Jean, both city traders. Agathe, a somewhat feckless and flighty daughter, who had once been known to scour the area’s night clubs and dives for entertainment when she had been younger, was a young woman of twenty five who had been ‘tamed’ by fledgling internet entrepreneur, Victor Bernier.

Aline scrolled through this history as she worked quickly, the area set aside as the kitchen wonderfully laid out so that everything was close at hand. She loved it when she could work undisturbed. It allowed her time to think of everyone in the family, and now those who would be with her and Louis for this special day’s meal; a gathering for them all, a group that included elderly and frail grandparents; work that she loved to undertake; for all of them. They were all out at some Bastille Day event; happenings that she had tired of.

♠

It was not long before she fretted about Agathe whom she rarely saw or called her, or came by on short notice, as she used to do; more often than not when she had gotten into a scrape, usually concerning money and that Louis had to help her with. It was something her husband always did for ‘his girl’. He had called her that too, once.

There was no doubting that Agathe was his favourite, no matter what trouble she got into. He may be a successful businessman and talked tough when it concerned money. But, when in Agathe’s company it was a very different story; a matter that she had never been able to speak to him about; let alone get to him to change his ways where it concerned Agathe.

‘You spoil her rotten…so don’t be surprised, if…’

‘If I reap what’s been sown?’ he would always reply in his teasing ways of it and that she loved about him.

Nothing could keep her from fretting about Agathe; no one, not even Louis, seemed able to tame her wildest excesses. So, it was a wonder, a blessed miracle; a bolt out of the blue, when Agathe announced that she had fallen for a guy and that she was bringing him home to meet them all. That, in itself, was a first.

She had been ashamed to admit, at the time, that Agathe played fast and loose; that she behaved in ways that even her friends had gotten to hear about and told her of in gossipy ways, but for reasons she understood. They were an early warning of what could follow.

But when she heard of Victor she was dismayed. He was studious and polite; considerate and only too helpful about the place when they had meals together, all of them round the table and with the vents of the skylight open, high above them, and the cooling night breeze was felt.

‘I’ll close it if you want?’ Victor had smiled in his captivating ways of it and in his confident voice. Louis would be deep in conversation with his sons about something, usually football…Paris St Germain…or some such team, and she would talk to him as if they were alone; Agathe interrupting to claim his attention for an instant and making her feel that she was monopolising her guy.

But Victor was like that; he connected; something that had made his business start-up begin to fly; that helped Agathe in spreading her network of contacts in the world of fashion-house clothes purchasing. He was older than she was by some five years, but that did not worry Victor; it bothered her, though, on account of her daughter’s flighty ways.

Aline reached up for some dishes and rinsed them out; thought of Agathe’s and Victor’s story as she worked.

Victor made it easy for her to be taken by his ways; she knew it to be akin to a strong hand in a velvet glove; his nature, even temperament, almost too good to be true. He makes her laugh; he smiles easily; she knows that he is good for Agathe whom she believes is the happiest that she has ever been in a relationship.

‘I told him not to indulge her,’ she murmured, the preparations for the meal going just as she wanted it to be. She smiled, remembered what he had said in reply.

‘She knows who’s the boss, Aline…’

Their affair had become a marriage, and she had stopped worrying; Agathe was living not so far away, in a small apartment that Louis had found for them. Her daughter lived with a hard-working, considerate, polite, and only too handsome man. As her mother, shwas happy too. Victor settling her daughter had her feeling more at ease with life, where it was touched by Agathe…and now Victor also.

If his ways had been to seduce them both, and for differing reasons, he had been only too successful.

She dared to admit that she loved to have him around, to be engaged in joshing conversation that had them laughing and sharing a joke; mostly when he helped about the place after a meal and when her sons and Louis talked of football, or politics in the EU, and he soon tired of all that. Agathe would disappear into what she thought of as Louis’ study, or hideaway office, and call her friends or be driven to checking on her business interests. Victor had brought that change about in her feisty daughter who was prettier than she was, not as shapely or as tall. Agathe had her father’s build; could be thought of as petite when she was seen standing next to Victor.

‘You’re a lucky girl to have met him and to have married him…so lucky.’

The tall, handsome, rakishly dressed guy was torn between her and his start-up business; he brought passion to them in equal measure; Agathe had regaled her on how it could go between them sometimes; had spoken breathlessly of the spontaneity of his claims upon her body — news that she really didn’t need to hear for she too had seen the glint in his eyes; had chosen to think that it was simply flattery on his part.

‘Nearly ready…I can have a break,’ she muttered as the last of her much-used cookery books was put back on the shelf. She referred to them, even if the choicest of recipes was known off by heart.

She had heard from Agathe that she and Victor had their moments of differences being given voice to; moments of doors being slammed that she knew, only too well, lay in her daughter’s nature. They made up and made out, she had also been told. Agathe would realise that she was one lucky girl to have him in her life, and not to fool around as she had done with past loves.

As her mother, she knew only too well that guys like Victor were not like apples to pick off a tree; to taste and then move on. She too had her moments of having to deal with Louis’ occasional lapses, but what they had always overcame those wounding distractions he had pursued. He had his mistresses; she’d never had her lovers except for Louis.

‘Oh! It’s too early to ring me and say you’re on your way home…’ she rushed to grab for her iPhone; was startled to read a familiar number flare and then dim on the screen as the phone rang. ‘Victor!’

‘Yes, it’s me. I wondered if you had some time for us to talk?’

She was dismayed to hear his low voice; it lacked his usual captivating cheeriness. ‘Is…is something wrong to make you call me?’

‘You could say that, but I’ll speak about it when I call in…in, say, half an hour. Is that okay?’

‘Yes, of course it’s okay. You can call in whenever you want, you know that…or should do by now. You, Agathe and I will have a drink before the others get here…’ She suddenly had a shock. Would she have time to get changed? There was still some work to do that she did not want to get on her clothes already laid out in readiness, in the main bedroom. She chose to stay as she was.

‘I’ll be on my own, Aline…there are things to say…okay?’

‘Yes, okay, Victor…if that’s how it’s got to be.’ The connection was at an end. The riot of thoughts aroused by what he had said, more the tone of his voice, gripped her now.

 

2

She brushed out her hair and refastened the thin silk binding that she had worn throughout the morning and as she worked; it kept her luxuriant, black hair out of her face. A simple striped blouse, its collar turned up, flattered her figure and hung loose over a denim skirt; a pair of tan suede, down at heel, ankle boots that she found sublimely comfortable clacked on the floor when she walked quickly to grab for her handbag; to then apply the lightest of smears of lipstick; a light spray of perfume on her breastbone and that her body heat would soon intensify. Her hazel eyes took in the face staring back; a fretful look that had been aroused once more by what she hoped would not be Victor’s news of a problem between him and Agathe.

Victor had caught her on the go. It was no reason to let her exacting standards slip, or not too much.

She did not possess her daughter’s beauty; never had done, but she remained slender, something that a rigorous diet and exercise regime, at a local gym, bestowed upon her. It was a chance to share in the agonies of keeping the years at bay and to do that with friends she met there. Also, to meet an approving glance of men that were known to live in the neighbourhood and to be seen there. She had never strayed; Louis was her man even if the years, and lunches for working on a deal, took their toll on him.

She adjusted a tangle of necklaces at her throat and that brushed the top of her cleavage. That would be seen if she moved, and it was nothing she felt ashamed in revealing. In that she offered more than Agathe; she envied her girl’s firmness; nursing three kids had taken their toll but not so much that she was ashamed to reveal a little more of what she brought to Louis, and when they dressed up to go to dinner with friends, or some society gathering.

She liked to be noticed, still, and Victor paid her that compliment many times over. It was discreet but unmistakable; it was never acted upon, thankfully and even if Victor had thought her to be stylish; chic in her dressed down ways of it. They had been together only a few weeks ago, over Easter, when the balmy weather allowed them to enjoy an al fresco lunch on the roof top terrace; the men barbecued meats and the women prepped the salads and other delights.

‘Is he calling in to tell me about that…what I noticed in Agathe’s behaviour?’

She said it as her things were pushed back into her handbag and she checked on the meal that she had been preparing. Agathe had given every sign of being remote, even bored by the gathering; and Victor had made no secret that he was fretting about something that had arisen between them and would not speak of, even to her and in spite of their closeness.

♠

Aline was surprised to hear the soft song note of the entry system and skipped to the apartment’s front door. Victor’s face seemed to fill the small screen and she saw a moment’s smile, the quizzical look back at her.

‘I forgot my keys…’

‘It’s okay…just come in.’

She pressed the door release button and rushed back to the kitchen; turned off what she could so that nothing would spoil. She wished to devote as much attention to him as was possible; soon moved to look around the corner of the arched opening and saw him shrug off his jacket; awkwardly holding a small bouquet of flowers as he did so. He tugged away at a silk, patterned scarf, an affectation that went so well with his shirt and slacks; the fingers of one hand threaded through the tangle that was his sandy blonde hair.

Please God, she did not want to hear bad news from him. Aline was captivated by the man she saw as she had been on first meeting him; felt an uncommon rush of affection that she dared not give voice to.

He glanced up and saw her; closed the distance between them before she could do so. ‘I brought these for you…a small bouquet…call it a token of my regard for you.’

Aline was startled by his directness. ‘Thank you, but there’s no need.’

‘You know my answer to that, don’t you?’ he now said, curtly, and to give voice to the mood he was in.

‘Yes…and I guess that Agathe’s not with you?’

‘No…and I don’t know if she’ll show up for supper either. Sorry to bring you that news…if she hasn’t told you already?’

‘She hasn’t and could have said that to me herself!’ Aline replied in evident annoyance. ‘It’s not a part of the plan…’

‘What plan, and don’t talk in riddles?’

‘Supper together…all of us!’

Aline did not prevent him from taking up the remote control for the small TV that was neatly built into wall units that flanked it.

He met her look of annoyance. ‘I just want to see what we’re both missing in not being there…in the Place de la Bastille…along with the others.’

Aline hid her exasperation; she sighed. ‘I thought you came here to talk to me?’

‘We will…or I will as you finish what you’re doing. I’ll keep out of your way. You do so much for us all, Aline.’

‘Because I want to. Now, I’m all but through, and….’ she hesitated from telling him, ‘and I’ve never felt you to be in the way.’

‘That’s good to hear,’ he smiled.

Aline stood by his shoulder as they leant against a worktop; together, they looked at the crystal-clear images on the TV screen, the sound low, but the hum of the crowd unmistakable and to be clearly heard. The camera scanned the gathering; images then appeared in close-up of smaller groups; then couples with their children; tricoleur tied at their waist or worn as bandanas; then of couples only.

Victor flinched as she gripped his arm fiercely.

‘Louis…it’s Louis!’ Aline gasped as her husband was seen in the company of a woman; their bond seen to be unmistakable; a kiss being exchanged; the woman with a tricoleur scarf and both oblivious to the attention shown in them by the cameraman.

‘Am I so ugly that I deserve this?’ she yelled before he could intervene and turn off the TV.

Victor watched her move; saw how she tugged at the fastening of the apron she had put on; failing to notice that she still wore it when he had come into the apartment. Her eyes stared at the TV, even as the camera panned away and framed another, younger, couple. Instinctively, he put an arm about her shoulders; felt Aline cling to him in shock.

‘Say something, Victor…anything!’

He met her baleful glance. ‘They…he, Louis…he may just be caught up in the moment. Agathe told me of your family’s links to that time…’

Aline glared at him. ‘Oh sure! Yes, go on…find excuses for it!’

He tore free of her hold on him.

‘Fuck that, I’m not finding any excuses…and certainly not for that…if it’s what you think it means. So, no, you don’t deserve that…none of it, what you and I have seen. And…don’t go taking it out on me!’

Angrily, he switched off the TV; watched as Aline stepped soundlessly over the kitchen floor and began to turn everything off; would allow everything that she had prepared, and worked on so dutifully, to cool or go cold.

Victor gripped her arm; she had never been so angry and distracted in his presence.

‘Let me take care of things here…don’t touch anything,’ he commanded and met her distracted look once more, then nod of the head. He turned everything on again; felt her brush against him as she reset the dials to where she wanted them to be.

‘I like your perfume,’ he said softly as Aline remained close to his side.

‘You noticed, even now?’ she asked on a thin-lipped smile that soon left her face. Aline sighed. ‘I know who she is…the woman with Louis. He went with her a while back…and I was made to believe it was over between them. ‘What a fool I’ve been…what a fool!’

‘No, I always thought of you as…’

She pressed fingers to his lips to silence him; did not want to hear whatever Victor wanted to tell her on this; did not care if her actions were over-familiar.

‘The woman’s a friend of mine, from a long while back. That ended after I knew of their affair. I lost a friend…thought that I had lost Louis too. And now…I see that and on TV!’

Victor saw her shrug. Aline was seen to blink back her tears. She moved restlessly in the confined space of the kitchen; seemed not to notice that she had again taken hold of the hand that he offered to her. He spoke softly, soothingly.

‘I’m so sorry to have you see that. Perhaps, I should call the boys…check on things in that way for you?’

‘Yes, do that,’ she said then detained him. ‘Wait!’ Aline put her arms about his neck and clung to him; sensed Victor slowly put his arms about her. She met his look; felt his breath on her lips but drew away, enough, to offer a sign that she would not seek that from him; a consolation kiss or touch of any kind. ‘Yes, do that…then tell me what brought you here. I forgot to do that.’

‘Yeah…and I’ve forgotten about it too,’ he confessed on a disbelieving laugh. ‘Discoveries like that go in pairs, it seems…’

‘Oh no,’ she groaned, ‘not Agathe too?’

She saw him clench his lips and shrug.

Her day had been turned over. Aline was dismayed to feel that they each had something to deal with and to console the other upon.

 

3

Every thought that entered her mind, was only too destructive of the ordered world she lived in and wished for others in the family to enjoy and to grow into. She waited with nervy excitement, and a tightening of the muscles in her throat, as she heard Victor make the calls.

Her heart sank as she learned that Louis could not be reached. Her one-time friend, a rich socialite living off old family money, Olivia Hatton, had returned from Alsace, or she had chosen to travel to Paris for the occasion of this holiday. With both Edouard and Jean he had more success, if only to speak to them and have confirmed that Louis had drifted off and that they would not see each other for another two hours at their agreed rendezvous and then return to the apartment in Oberkampf.

‘Tell me, Victor…where are you?’ Edouard prompted, suspicion in his tone. Aline shrugged and nodded, mouthed that he should explain; touched his arm as if to encourage him; to suggest that they were in this together.

‘I called in…to leave some flowers…wondered if Agathe was here. She’s not with you guys by any chance?’

‘No…and you should know her as well as us. She’s not into these events…’

‘True,’ Victor sighed theatrically. ‘I’ll let you get on. Will see you later. When is that again?

‘Six thirty…seven o’clock. We’re meeting up for a drink before we get the metro back home…’

‘I’ll try to be here by then.’ He looked at Aline, signalled that perhaps she should talk to him.

Victor smiled as she took it quickly; moved away and was seen to stretch; to stand on tiptoe and then to bend at the waist; then slowly stand tall and stretch again. It was a slow, mesmerising rhythm that she set until she ended the call and cast the contraption onto one of the seats, close to where they stood.

‘It looks like we have time to ourselves, Aline…’

‘For you to tell me what brought you here…’

‘Later…’

‘No, Victor…now.’ She really wasn’t ready, or in need, of him in the way that his look now suggested; yet she was dismayed to feel that this was at odds with the knot of longing in her belly as he took her hand, sought to do that and she could have prevented by stepping away from him. ‘No…not that. I’m okay…’

The young man before her was only too controlled, and in his look upon her she now saw his unmistakable longing for her; she in only too workaday clothes that she planned to change out of and, when the time came, to play the consummate hostess to them all.

‘I wish that I could say the same…’

Victor slumped back on the banque; waited on her to do so but with space between them. Aline turned on the banque; sat sideways to face him, with her legs tucked in. He delighted in her toned, smooth skin.

‘Agathe…you were going to tell me about her…about the two of you…what brought you here in the first place,’ she said, sighing. ‘If I can help, then I will. The two of you matter to me…to all of us.’

‘The obvious first…Agathe craves excitement, variety and new experiences, but she chose to go further. She really couldn’t handle me being away for too long or she’d get restless…call up friends and they’d hang out at some place and meet people.’

‘Men…other men…you mean? You don’t have to spare me the details!’

‘Yeah, men but not any other men. She went with a coloured guy she met at some club…a night out with her unattached, free-wheeling friends…did that while I was away, it seems, working on my start up…a month or so back, and for occasional nights since. One guy plugged her properly…did that at our place, even…and…and…’ Aline couldn’t silence him; scooted across the banque, in her attempts to touch his arm. ‘She…Agathe took no care…got dates mixed up, and…and now she’s…’

Aline succeeded in clamping one hand to his arm; pulled on it to make Victor look at her. ‘Shut up…shut up! Don’t say it…oh Victor, don’t say it!’

He jerked free of her claims upon him and stood up. She followed him; felt Victor grab her arms as he met her disbelieving, wild-eyed look. He felt her breaths on his face as they stood close.

‘Yes, it’s as bad as it could ever be. She’s carrying another man’s kid…knows that it’s not too soon to end it…if that’s where she’s at now. How the hell am I to know? She won’t say anything on it to me, and that alone is just wrecking me. She’s been taken from me…went a fucked with another guy.’ He suddenly gave her a shocked look. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that…’

‘I understand,’ she consoled.

He just stood there with his shoulders slumped and shook his head; Victor then moved to where he had thrown his jacket.

‘I’d better go,’ he said and smiled suddenly. ‘I’ve got to leave you…and sorry for what I did…if I made a pass at you and especially now. I kept a hold on what I felt…knew that it was wrong. But who pays attention to that now? You’re a special friend. I always felt that about you and had to be here and talk to you, if only for a moment.’

He even managed to smile in acknowledgement of what he had succumbed to.

‘Victor…stay…you know that you can stay by me?’

He gave a long sigh, in concession to his overt disclosure, then, in his touches there was, again, a physical expression of his infatuation with her. ‘Aline, it’s madness. How can I even think or speak of it…what you mean to me?’

‘We can speak of it now, Victor, darling,’ she said, across the short distance between them; her soft words seeking to break through his unexpected restraint. ‘You can tell me! You can show me this time…you can show me how you truly feel. Do that, please? Show me, please…show me, Victor? I wondered for so long if that was how you felt…even in the earliest days and when you came into our lives. Now, help me…help me to forget for a while what has happened this afternoon. Do that…do that for me, please? I need that…’

He continued to stare with those expressive eyes, standing very still, before her, with his arms folded, the strong hands clenched tight against his chest, like a shield against the temptation to finally submit to her; for him to claim her.

He went to pick up his jacket that had again dropped to the floor. ‘Who’s to know when the others will be here?’

‘We have time…and looking and speaking such a few words were never enough, was it? Agathe betrayed you…had you feel unwanted or unloved…had you believe that no one else would ever matter. It was that way for me too…with Louis…but see where I am now! Betrayed…just as you are! It’s happened before…’

‘What madness grips us now…both of us!’ Aline’s words were only too persuasive in excusing what they sought from each other.

Aline saw him stare back at her; saw Victor resolutely press shut his lips, and yet she saw conflict and doubt in his eyes.

Aline knew at once that she was on the crest of the roller coaster ride before the dizzying fall; wild concessions to him that she had wondered about whenever they had been alone together, chatting as they worked in the kitchen and behaving as if no one else existed. She ran her fingers through her hair as she looked at him and saw Victor follow every movement that she made; she felt the beat of her heart quicken.

‘Victor…be with me?’ she whispered through barely parted lips

‘Aline?’ He stroked his forehead, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

‘Victor, please, kiss me?’

‘Help me?’ His hands made only the smallest movement as an invitation to her, in acceptance of what would follow.

‘Yes! Oh yes!’

She ran to him and flung her arms about his neck; there was only a moment’s hesitation, a look of acquiescence between them before they met in deep, gasping, noisy kisses.

‘How can I? Aline!’ He continued to kiss her lips, then her hair, moving his head as she kissed his throat in response to her touches. ‘Aline…Aline! How can I do this?’ His hands clasped then released their hold upon her in acknowledgement of his turmoil.

‘Darling, my Victor!’

‘Don’t! Stop! I know…I know…I know how it is now…or could be but we can’t give in! We have to find a way through, somehow…’

‘Oh Victor, darling. I can’t bear it any longer. Help me…help me too!’ She sought his mouth and kissed him deeply, moaned as he sucked on her tongue in response; felt Victor eagerly press his mouth to the swell of her breasts; to kiss her breastbone and to breathe hotly on her skin; to breathe in the scent that she always sprayed there.

Aline reached down between them and brazenly, skilfully clamped upon him; rhythmically felt the hard swell to be found there.

‘For me…share it with me, Victor…darling…do that…do that, please?’

‘Aline!’ He drew his mouth away from her kisses. ‘Aline, how could I have let this happen with Agathe?’ He stared into her eyes but there was no deliverance to be found in them.

‘We can, darling please, we can…we can! It’s between us now…us! No one else matters, no one! Not now…we’re together! Here…here and like this while we can!’

He attempted to push her away, but she felt ensnared by a hunger that she knew would finally overtake them. Drawn against him, this time she felt in Victor’s caresses on her skin the arousal of her senses, soliciting the responses that would finally satisfy his desire for her.

‘Aline, my darling.’

‘Don’t stop,’ she gasped as his mouth pressed on her lips. ‘Victor, I’ve always known…now show me…let me show you too how it is.’ His lips again moved to the swell of her breasts. She held his head to them; shivered as she felt the warmth on her skin.

‘Darling,’ he kept whispering her name. ‘What am I doing?’

Conceding to his baser instincts required so little; the veneer of respectability so thin, although he believed it to be otherwise; his claims upon her body had been met by Aline’s joyful response.

She stroked the back of his head tenderly. At last, soon, she would hold him against her naked skin, but he struggled with his emotions. She held him as warmth from his breath spread to her body; through the thin fabric of her blouse as she provoked his exploratory wondering kisses.

‘Yes, it can happen, my darling man…it can, now.’ She kissed his hair as tears filled her eyes, she felt so close to her own fulfilment; the release of her fury and deepest hurt for all that had befallen her; the fracture of what she had believed to again be an ordered life. She would stray this time and with some she cared for deeply. ‘You can be with me…and no one will know, no one.’

‘But I would live with the knowledge of it! I know only of…lust…revenge…wanted that to be with you.’

Aline smiled at him and considered his acute observation at such a moment. ‘And women can love? Is that what you were going to say?’

‘Bad time to do so.’ He gave a shrug in bewilderment. ‘Yeah, I guess it goes something like that.’

‘You darling man!’ She kissed his face then looked into his eyes to draw some understanding from the exchange between them. ‘I’ve known of both from you, but not in equal measure. But now…?’ She embraced him in a restraining clasp of her arms. ‘I don’t feel guilty, asking if you will hold and love me; the love you knew in the past is not altered…but now…’

‘It’s our time?’

She nodded.

‘It belongs to you and me, to us alone. You have always been my special man, my only other man…the man Agathe brought home and that I grew to care for…even to love in my own ways. You’ve always been a part of me from the very beginning.’

Victor pulled away, clasping his neck with both hands and raised his eyes to stare at the ceiling.

‘How…how can I give in?’

Exasperated, he turned to her, recognition of what awaited them evident in his eyes. With a cry, that professed her acknowledgement of his silent call to her, Aline was again in his arms.

‘Let me know this of you,’ she said, a tremble crossing her parted lips. ‘I just see you as a wonderful, loving man to whom I want to give myself completely. Please, live for the moment and love me.’

Quick fiery touches of his lips were on her mouth, each more intense, until she surrendered to a deep lingering kiss. She quivered as his fingers touched naked skin, light and tantalisingly close to exploring her, an insistent press against her belly confirmation of Victor’s longing to consummate all that had been aroused in them by word and, finally, mutual caresses of concession.

♠

‘I have waited so long for you, Victor…so…so long.’

Aline lay beside him in a fevered embrace. She had been reconciled to the knowledge of never being joined to him in one sublime, shared and loving act. There were others in their lives to complicate this selfish and, in another’s opinion, reckless and deviant union.

‘What we had is changed, forever.’ He spoke to her now with sadness in the caress of his voice.

‘No…it has only become stronger…even more special,’ she answered giving him a hug of affirmation. ‘You’re part of me now and I of you. We’re together now in our own special way.’

‘Forgive me,’ he said.

She gazed into his eyes with a look of unqualified contentment and tenderness.

‘No,’ she laughed softly ‘Now sh! Sh! Sh! Be still on that…be still!’

‘How?’ he joked.

‘Like this.’ Aline smiled tenderly before she kissed his eyes and forehead. ‘No more frowns…no more looks like those, or doubts. Away with them.’ She kissed him into silence, for a moment only. ‘It’s wonderful, you’ve been wonderful!’ She arched her back and looked with continued desire at him. ‘Kiss my skin, darling, kiss me!’ He kissed where she guided his lips, slowly. ‘I have longed to feel your lips and soft breaths there…for so long.’

Finally, she lay down with her head on his chest, arms along his thighs, luxuriating in the warmth and smell of him. She saw from the clock on the bedside table how long he had kept her in this passionate spell, but he had not reached his own fulfilment. He moved slowly keeping her on the edge of renewed pleasure.

She responded with kisses, her lips trembling against his chest, and she conceded to her tears. Victor was, at last, her lover. The mildest flirtations over the time that he had been in her life, and Agathe’s, were recalled as though they had been a prelude to these exultant moments.

‘It should have remained as before.’

‘No!’ she sighed, ‘No, it’s no longer unspoken. We’ve expressed all that we have felt for each other.’ They had done so keenly, without restraint and now it had been so lustfully and ecstatically declared. ‘It had to be you, Victor…I know that now, more than ever.’

Victor moved and left their bed; he stood by the window looking through the net curtains that reached down to the floor; they gave the room its privacy during the day.

‘We wash and get dressed…we behave as if nothing has happened and see what the evening brings when the others return.

Aline came by him and with her hands cupped over his strong shoulder felt his hip press against her belly. She ran her hands down his front and back in a single slow movement, felt the muscles of his abdomen, still firm under his gently rounded belly. She retained an unbearable ache, a renewed physical and emotional longing for him that could only be stilled by this one act between them. Victor stroked Aline’s back, then down over her buttocks and thighs; fingered gently the clammy warmth of skin where he had been taken; his touches, and their kisses, urging them to renew their desire to know of it again.

‘We will help each other through,’ she kissed as Victor lifted her up and carried Aline back to the bed.

They loved; they knew that this would be the only time that they could do so. They would love until they were sated and what would pass for normality again returned.

 

4

Aline lay in their bed, a cotton nightdress a covering for her body and a thin duvet to keep at bay the chill from the air-conditioning. She ached from all that had been discovered with Victor; her memories of their times together, and sharing in so much, not to be tainted, if she could avoid it, by Louis even thinking of making up to her. It really did not take much for her to recall the torment of rebuilding her life the last time. The only difference now was that she had Victor and that consolation could be found, as never before.

She heard Louis in the bathroom getting ready for bed. The briefest of exchanges had been entered into on the matter of what she had seen on the TV that afternoon and that he chose not to deny; neither that he had been seen nor that a relationship with Olivia was again being pursued. They had spoken moments before the others joined them for dinner.

‘Well,’ she had retorted, ‘now that you’ve told me that there’s a vacancy in my life, I may have to do something or find someone to fill it. We’ll be very French about it…’

‘We can be modern and grown up about it, can’t we?’

‘Perhaps, Louis. Right now. I just hurt…and even if I’ve been here before and with you.’

She had not disclosed just why that was, but meeting a moment’s look from Victor, who sat at the other end of the table from her, was enough of a consolation for how Louis had spoken. The stilled look of his eyes upon her, as if she was being undressed, made her ache for him and unashamedly so.

Supper, with them all seated at the table, save for Agathe, had been tortuous; muted and lacking in the usual repartee and teasing banter that they would all engage in, and dependent on the subject under discussion. It had ended early, with the boys taking their girlfriends home and the grandparents having a taxi to collect them.

She could not help but worry all over again about Agathe and Victor.

Louis was of no help and when the three of them had been alone after the others had gone, the discussion was fractious; Louis taking his daughter’s side and implying that Agathe’s defection would not have happened if Victor had not been away so much.

‘That’s rich coming from you!’ Victor had been provoked into yelling, and that she could do nothing to restrain him; nor to offer words of comfort. ‘You sit on your money…I’m still trying to make it, and I’m doing better than I thought possible this early on in my business plan!’

She had followed Victor to the door; did so on seeing Louis take his leave of Victor with a few words, on parting, that he would speak to Agathe; maybe to have her see sense and for them to start over, somehow.

‘You’re in my life like never before,’ he had told her; Victor’s strong hand caressing the skin of her throat and she dared to meet his parting kiss; felt again the beguiling slip of his tongue over her lips. ‘I want to be with you again…soon.’

‘Yes, soon, Victor…somehow and somewhere. I want that too, so take that with you.’

She had turned away and locked up; did not delay in going up stairs to the bedroom and undressing; knew that Louis would be in his study a while longer and she could check her body for any marks that Victor may have left upon her. The only one that really mattered, and possessed her again now, was in her mind; what she had been provoked into sharing with Victor and about which she had no regrets at all.

She had spoken out bitterly, but in her choice of words there also lay a grain of truth. If Louis could have a mistress then she could have a lover. The only glitch was that the one she had fallen for happened to be her daughter’s husband…for however long that arrangement might last.

‘Aline, listen to me,’ she heard him say. Louis stood close to their bed, and he seemed to be in pyjamas.

‘Yes, Louis…what is it now?’

The bed rocked as he lowered himself, until she knew that he knelt on the floor on her side of the bed.

‘I still love you…it’s different to your ways of seeing it, but I do.’

‘And I’ll just have to learn to live with that, somehow…won’t I?’

‘Yes…you will.’

She did not resist him in his claims as Louis bent to kiss her; squirmed as he brusquely tore away the duvet and fiercely clamped her pendulous breasts in his hands as she attempted to turn away from him; to make it easier for Louis to claim them and not hurt her. She had to be, after all, ‘modern and grown up’ about these things between two people.

‘Whoever else there is, I will still love you…somehow.’

The words sounded strange on her lips. She was made to turn, enough, so that he could kiss her properly, deeply, as he drew away the front of her nightie; his hands pushing on her thighs so that he could press his lips to her moist skin…to where Victor had been so emphatically. Her slender lover had pleased her; Louis would seek to reclaim her.

She thought of only one man as her body was possessed once more; shuddered as thoughts of him and what he had brought so lustfully and tenderly, made her stifle her cries; clench her lips as she climaxed.

Her life was again at a turning point. With exquisite, or destructive, timing it would have to be today of all days.

♠

Victor sat back in his seat and watched the countryside flash past his window. He had only just made it to the station; to catch the TGV to Strasbourg and a development meeting with financiers interested in a step change in his company’s work. Win that, and lengthen the period of the loan package, and he would really believe that his business was on its way.

The pressure would come off, just a bit. He’d be able to take on more people and manage his days and nights so much better; there would be time to devote to a cherished and supportive partner; all of it discovered in a known and bounded world that the two of them would create for themselves and their relationship flourished.

It had all become a mirage, the part that touched his personal life. Agathe had collected some clothes and possessions and had moved out…to all intents and purposes. Louis’ attempts to talk to her and discover where she wanted her life to go had proved far from satisfactory. His calls to her had resulted in wounding barbs being yelled his way.

He no longer recognised the young woman that he’d married; felt betrayed by the woman, by Agathe, but he still could not speak out the words, let alone think them.

‘I don’t love you…not anymore.’

As he booted up his laptop, and plugged in the ear-pieces connected to his iPhone, he thought of Aline; looked at the screen of the contraption that he held in his large hand; met a moment’s look his way of a young woman seated opposite him; thought he caught a hint of a smile, but no more.

He had kept a message from her, the woman who had let go and drained him, received the day before and after their passionate tryst.

You’re with me, V, as never before. Agathe is a mystery to me again, but we will help each other to get through this time, won’t we? Keep safe…love with me again. I need that more than ever. Louis wants to live in ways that I cannot do. We help each other get out of the trap. See me through the eye of this storm, please, and if you can. Aline x

♠

He thought she carried it off perfectly; defied the toll on her of what had happened and that being with him helped to ease away.

Aline wore stressed jeans and a floaty white blouse; a brightly patterned silk scarf loosely wrapped around her neck; her silken black hair drawn back. It was held by a large blue and white beaded hairgrip; functional but stylish. He found her slender, tended figure only to appealing; the clink of her bracelets on slender wrists no distraction, as she brushed away stray strands of her hair. The woman beguiled him all over again.

‘You look wonderful,’ he smiled as Aline sat down beside him at the table set out on a café’s terrace. It was not far from his apartment. Victor switched his iPhone to divert and put it into his jacket’s inside pocket. Aline saw him push back the tumble of his sandy blonde hair and then look her way, a soft smile and wondering look again upon her. ‘I had to see you…’

‘I know…it’s that way for me too,’ she readily confessed, on reaching for his hand under the table and squeezing it tight. Aline looked around them. The warmth of the sun had brought people out onto the streets and crowded out the café’s and eateries of a lunchtime. ‘Have you got time for this…to see me?’

‘Yes, of course,’ he said, the stilled look of his eyes upon her as if to take in every detail once more. ‘I have no news…but work has filled the gap…has gone so well after my trip to Strasbourg that I can hardly believe it’s happened.’

‘Do so, believe it. I knew it from the moment I first met you…that nothing and no one would get in your way…stifle your ambitions…not even that daughter of mine.’

She eased her hold on him as a waiter drew near and they gave him their lunch orders.

‘Agathe’s moved out…’

‘Yes, I heard…from Louis. Is it final?’

He shrugged; she heard him sigh as he recounted all that had happened since they had last been together. ‘I really don’t know where it’s going…she drifts from one situation to another…and I thought she’d been cured of that with her work and with me.’

‘That is what I hoped for, and saw, Victor. You don’t deserve this…you darling man.’ Aline hesitated. ‘I don’t know where I really am with Louis, now…I feel as if I’m lost in the wilderness too.’

‘And I find that utterly crazy, Aline…’ he said it softly and on reaching out for his wineglass; moved to allow the waiter to place his light lunch in front of Aline, then on the straw mat before him.

Aline could not help but look fondly at him; to offer but a moment’s featherlight touch to his hand as he reached for his knife, and she the starched napkin that was folded on the small plate beside her. Everything he said struck a chord with her. She was again possessed by an ache to know of him; each touch, or look, an avowal of that. Nothing held her attention for long; all she thought of was the change in her life with Louis; her daughter’s defection from the man seated beside her; a man she had claimed and who sought solace with her, tempestuous as that had been.

It was reckless of them to be seen together in a place where those she knew, and Louis, lived; her young lover a danger to all that she held dear; but she ached to be taken out of the mess that had become her life the instant the pictures of Louis, and Olivia, were to be seen on that TV screen in her kitchen. A passionate fling with him could so easily become so much more.

‘You’ve gone quiet on me,’ he said after a while, a look of understanding to be seen in his eyes. ‘You’re wondering, I guess…about everything?’

‘Yes, but I don’t want it to end. I know that already…’ she confided in a low voice. ‘Agathe’s crazy…crazy to have done it and then to let the worst of all things happen!’

‘She doesn’t see it that way…as far as I can tell by the way she speaks to me.’

Aline stared at him. ‘You…you mean she told you that?’

‘You can see and listen for yourself…I kept her call, with video…of earlier today’. Victor took his iPhone from his pocket along with the earpieces and throat mike and helped her to put them on. He then scrolled through his list of messages until he found what was needed. ‘You wonder how anyone had a life before these things…but even in this the kit has its uses,’ he told her on a disbelieving shake of the head. He moved away; saw Aline listen intently, look at the screen of his iPhone as she did so.

Her daughter’s youthful face appeared. It looked tired and distracted; large green eyes staring at her; the strain of the times she lived through only too evident. But, in that look, her anger was also evident. It was soon clear to Aline that Victor had chosen to record the conversation once it had begun.

‘I got bored. We didn’t have the fun that we used to. You were so often away, and I could never plan our times together. I just got tired of it…’

‘Forgot that I funded you in your work…put up money that I could have used in my business, cherie…’

Aline saw the pout of Agathe’s lips as that truth struck home.

‘You never complained…’

‘No, because I was doing it for someone I loved and whom I thought loved me back. What a fool I was, eh?’

‘Lok at yourself first before blaming me for what happened…’ Agathe retorted sharply, the jabbing of her finger at the phone’s camera, that she held, making Aline gasp.

‘I didn’t tell you to fuck around!’

‘Bastard!’

‘You’ve met my folks. They won’t like it, what you’re saying about me…’

Aline shook her head in disbelief at the exchanges between them. She glanced Victor’s way. ‘She makes me ashamed of her…’

‘And now you’re carrying someone else’s kid…’

‘I know who the father is…know your bourgeois opinions on that only too well!’

‘And I should accept that…be pleased about that, should I?’

‘No…’

‘So, what now, Agathe?’

‘We split. There’s no way back from this for me. I told you that before!’

‘Yes, true. But are you sure?’

‘Aren’t you? I’m having another man’s kid…and you accused me of being easy!’

‘I was angry,’ Aline heard Victor say in a subdued tone. She knew exactly where that emotion would have arisen in him as it had done in her; the motivation for their passionate tryst evidence of that, if only at the beginning; until deeper responses between them were aroused. ‘I’m sorry for that. Just meet me and talk it out with me. If not that…then talk to Aline or Louis…speak to them. They’re still your parents, after all…’

‘I know who they are!’

Aline shook her head in dismay at the petulance in her girl; saw the anger and hurt; the fear, of where she now was, etched on her face. Despite the angry words, it was clear to her that Agathe understood that she was in a place where there was no easy way out. And she could hear the reasoning in Victor’s voice, even if the man was breaking because of her defection.

‘Just think about it Agathe…better still act on it. Come back to me and we try to rebuild our lives and what we once had?’

‘Not so much! I’ve just told you. It’s what made me do what I have done…’

‘And the guy you went with…the father of the child you’re carrying? What about him?’

Agathe was seen to brighten; she then laughed. ‘He’s fun…dances better than anyone I’ve ever been with…he’s clever and cool…makes a go of life in this place where he was a stranger…and…and he makes me fly!’

‘Oh, how cruel…cruel!’ Aline whispered on hearing her daughter’s casual, meaningful laugh. Her interest in lunch had been crushed. She met Victor’s stilled look upon her. ‘It goes on…?’

He nodded.

‘I’ll be round to collect some things in the morning. I don’t expect that you’ll be there…or will you?’

‘No. Things are on the up and I’ve got meetings,’ he was heard to tell her in a calm voice that surprised Aline. ‘I expect you to leave the door keys when you go. Do that for me, please? We will have to arrange for you to collect everything else and soon…move that to wherever it is you’ll be living. The apartment’s in my name…you had no money, then, when we moved in. Go safely… if you can.’

The screen went blank.

Aline handed the iPhone back to him and sat back in her chair as she did so; lifted her face to the warmth of the sun. She sensed that Victor’s eyes were again upon her, then his questing touch to her leg, if only for an instant.

‘The end…the voice at the end? It was not the voice of the man I know and care for,’ she whispered, hoping that he would hear her. She now looked at him.

‘I have no secrets from you, Aline; none, at all. Not even in the beginning, at the very start, and when I first met you.’

Aline nodded but she again chose to look away.

What he had finally confessed to was confirmation of what she had felt then. He was handsome, considerate, adorable Victor but he also meant danger; confounded what she had felt to be the ordered ways of it between them; she wasn’t about to get in the way of his relationship with Agathe. She had believed that he would be sure to tame her daughter’s excesses. How wrong she had been. But recent events had only confirmed her initial reaction to meeting him. Infatuation could so easily become a deeper physical need of him. He lacked for nothing…nothing. Agathe’s cruel jibe was simply to have him relent; to have Victor stop in his pursuit of her or to make Agathe change her mind; to go further and abort the child that she was carrying. It would not be an easy decision for her daughter to reach; the blame for its conception lay with her, only with her. The city’s streets were full of strangers. Was she really…really, so stupid not to have practised what every poster in clinics told women on matters of sexual health? Agathe had been through her promiscuous times but…but this?

She felt Victor move.

‘I’m going to pay the bill. I don’t want to wait until a waiter comes out to see what else he can do for us…’

Aline raised a hand to shield her eyes from the weak sunshine. ‘And then…what then, Victor?’

‘I want to be with you for the afternoon…’

♠

Wherever they went, his place or to the apartment, Aline knew that there would be risks. They decided on her apartment; chatted and laughed as they engaged in bubbly conversation; the dam of restraint would soon burst. She moved teasingly away whenever Victor sought to touch her, to hold her arm, or to put a hand to her back, to slide over the taut curve in her jeans.

She felt it to be impossible to ignore; his longing for her, and she for him. They parted a street away, Victor lingering at some shop front. The street door would be left on the latch, the inner door at the apartment’s main level open.

‘I’ll be waiting…’ she smiled, nervily. What had been seen, and listened to, on that small screen would have played out in Victor’s mind once more as they walked along the busy sidewalks, under the shade of the trees then the warming sun.

He was Victor; she knew him to be the loosener of any control. They could be together and help each other to forget.

♠

Aline kept telling herself that she shouldn’t do this; not here; but she could not pull away from him; not meet Victor’s claims as he kissed her; as she reached for him; felt his strength meet the sliding touch of her fingers to him.

‘Victor…Victor!’ she gasped, his lustful intent claiming all of her attention on him.

His tongue flickered into her mouth; licked across her parted lips as he breathed hotly against them. His fingers tugged away the hair grip and his fingers were in her hair as he kissed her face, her eyes, then her throat and neck; his breaths like a hot desert breeze; his fingers fumbling for the button fastening of her jeans, under the hem of her blouse; the touch of his questing fingers to her skin inciting her groans of anticipation and longing.

‘Where darling…where?’ She felt him guide her in faltering steps to a banque; delayed him; put her arms about his neck to kiss Victor deeply; to delay his undressing of her and she of him.

‘You and me…you and me! Forget everything else…’ he groaned as she clamped on him, her fingers on his belly. He tugged loose his shirt and lifted it over his body; felt her lips on his skin; soon tugged at her blouse; his hands sliding over her hips, then her back, to unfasten the thin skein of fabric that was her bra.

Aline’s fingers trembled as she undid the buttons of her blouse; felt the urgency of his need for her. She stepped free of him. They would look on each other as they undressed. ‘Oh Victor…Victor, this is crazy!’

She was wet; she knew what would now follow as he sat down and she straddled him; clamped his shoulders with her hands and bent forward; delighted in his claims upon her breasts; his lips sucking and nipping kisses to their tips; and, all the while, she caressed his length; pushed the tip of his prick against her and placed it there.

‘Do I?’ she asked needlessly, her eyes locked with his as she slowly settled on him, and she rocked, tugged and swayed; bucked her hips as his hands gripped them. ‘Let go of me…I know what to do!’ she gasped, settling on him for an instant and kissing him; breaking free to took down at how he claimed her. ‘I’m…I’m taking you away…should make you go…let you think of Agathe.’

Victor pulled her to him, his hands in the tangle of her hair. His eyes stared as she was held close. ‘You saw how it is…’

He thrust up violently; pulled her down on him certainly. Aline gasped and groaned as he claimed her and they fucked; it would not settle any score either for him with Agathe, or for her and Louis. It was for them, and they loved as if they were out of control.

‘Mon amour!’ she gasped. With strength that she did not believe that he possessed, Victor lifted her; stood up and she shuddered as Victor withdrew from her body and she was pushed down onto the rough surface of the banque.

‘Quelle folie, Aline! You’re so beautiful.’ He stared down at her naked body; her legs parted and her; at pink wet folds exposed to his gaze. His hands clamped on her breasts as he bent forward to kiss her; as he lunged forward and was guided into her once more.

Her lips trembled against his mouth, his movements splintering her control. ‘I hate you for teasing me like that.’

‘For this too?’

Victor’s cock entered her slicked haven; they were again joined, deeply and irreversibly, She felt evil but claimed him for herself alone; knew the thrust of his unrelenting thickness into her body; his sinewy movements making her feel wetter and hotter than a married woman had any right to feel. Her fleshy breasts squashed against his chest; he kissed down onto her shoulders to savour the taste and feel of her. He pulled out, nearly all the way, and then slammed his probing flesh deep within her once more.

‘You’ve…you’ve found me! she yelped and sensed from his movements that they were words that he wanted to hear her say.

She squirmed; loved the attention he paid to her breasts; to nipples that had nursed her kids. Victor paid devoted attention to them as he took her; as she bucked and twisted her hips; rose to meet his claims upon her body as far as his claims upon her allowed.

‘Victor…Victor!’

He was so deep inside her; she could no longer hold back; she climaxed; stifled her cries as her lover slammed against her in his unrelenting ways. It felt as if his penis curved inside her body; caressed and smoothed; she tensed her muscles and gripped him as best she could and to work him to the end.

‘We have to stop, Victor…we have to!’ She still hungered for him, but she knew that it was wrong to continue. She embraced him as best she could; breathed hotly in his ears; could not still his movements and frenzied claims on her body and mind. ‘Let it go…fill me…let it go…Victor…please!’

She was caught like the insect in the spider’s web. She was claiming him, her son-in-law. What she shared with him now went beyond her wildest imaginings; confounded her anger with Agathe for betraying him, and yet here she was, betraying her daughter!

Victor stopped; did so unexpectedly. He thought that he saw tears in Aline’s wondering eyes. ‘Am I hurting you?’

‘No, but I am scared…scared of what I am beginning to feel for you.’ He paid homage to her as a lover would do; delighted in every part of her body and had her know that it was so.

He moved slowly; claimed her in gentler ways; embraced her and he felt Aline shiver; felt the press of her breasts against him and he bent to kiss her skin there; they were fuller and larger than Agathe’s; her body warm and silken to his touch; he had seen the effects of childbirth on her; understood the turmoil that his claims upon her would provoke; the turmoil between knowing of him and restraint; whom she was surrendering herself to. It was a raging sense of guilt.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said again and brushed his fingers lightly over her face and to take away her tears. He kissed her eyes gently. Aline clung to him; could not help but respond to his ways once more. Victor beguiled her. ‘Did you think it would ever come to this between us…the first time I met you, so long ago. You enchanted me then…’

She dared not go there. It would be so destructive to admit that it had been so. ‘You surprised me…in how you were with Agathe and how she responded to you. If she took you into her life you would also be in mine. It was enough…’

Putain! She had never thought it would ever have gone this far; to be provoked into loving with him; to be naked in Victor’s arms and to have him claim her; to have his long cock fill her; to plumb her body and to feel the rushes of release that she had sought from him. It had all felt so wonderful; it had been so wrong to concede to him, but she could not prevent it…could not do that. He loved her in mind and body and in ways that Louis no longer sought of her. His mistress brought him that excitement. She had discovered it with Victor. In that, she was now even with Louis.