(This story is based of youtube videos I have seen lately. It takes a while to get to the gay stuff — but hopefully it’s worth it!)
I was in my second year of university. It was the university nearest my hometown, which was one of those type of places that people just didn’t know how to leave. Therefore it was rare that anyone ever went anywhere other than the local community college or the local university if you were daring enough to spend four years doing something away from home. I was daring enough. And I was also planning on being daring enough to pursue a medical degree post university. Unlike many from my hometown, I stayed in the dorms. Admittedly, this was in large part because in high school I thought I fell for this pretty girl way out of my league. All right, maybe pretty wasn’t the best word. She looked like one of those blonde bombshells that people get tattooed on themselves. You know the 1940’s/1950’s style women with their perfectly styled hair atop their heads, big breasts, tall and skinny, quite pale skinned. She even dressed the part, she wore a sexier version of WWII era clothing, even a cute army bomber jacket. I am pretty sure every damn boy in our high school believed they were going to marry her one day. If they didn’t, they couldn’t possibly be straight.
As I said, I stayed in the dorms because of her. The truth was, I naively believed if I was the only guy from home on campus all the time, she’d notice me more. Obviously, this plan was destined to fail. But not for any reasons you would expect. She DID notice me. Enough to ask me a favor at the beginning of my second year at least.
‘Hey — Jerry was it?’ The 5’10 woman said walking toward me after I finished my last class of the day. I was about to fall asleep on my feet after that lecture, the professor was some serious eye candy (not that a good heterosexual boy like me would admit that) but he had a tendency to give us the most ridiculous in-class assignments. I seriously wondered if he was getting his rocks off by watching his students working in pairs to create the perfect chemical formula to reduce aging. Okay it wasn’t that extreme. But he did seem to enjoy group work that gave us impossible chemical equations to solve. His favorite phrase was, ‘This is your result? If you made this, you’d blow up my classroom.’
‘Hmm?’ I turned around to face my crush, and instantly my tiredness and annoyance at my professor disappeared, even if she obviously didn’t know my name. ‘Molly. To what do I owe the honor?’
‘Oh Joshy. You HAVE to help me! I couldn’t think of anyone better!’ Molly looked desperate and now she was practically hanging off me. People were staring in our direction.
To make matters worse, the professor I just was irritated with, just came out of the classroom. And somehow he DID know my name. ‘Jeffrey, I know you really enjoy my class, but can you please not have your girlfriend begging her to spend time with you in the doorway?’
‘Uh… she’s not my girlfriend. She doesn’t even know my name.’ I said with a blush.
‘Oh, in that case, should I remind her for you?’ He was 6’4 to my 5’8 and her 5’10, so he had to bend to get in our faces. ‘Miss. I don’t know what you think you are doing attacking my students the moment they come out of my class, but it needs to stop. Take your drama with JEFFREY elsewhere.’
Molly gasped at the man’s bluntness and dragged me away from the horrible man. (Her words not mine. I was actually grateful to him. I don’t actually like being the center of attention very much.) Finally, we stopped at a famous couple’s spot on campus. She had taken me to a nearby pond where students often had picnics. ‘Jimmy. Be my boyfriend.’
I choked on my own saliva. ‘Excuse me?!’
‘Look. I know you have a huge crush on me. I am telling you to finally do something about it.’
I made a fist and banged it on my chest to help me clear my coughing fit. ‘Look, Molly. It is true that you turn heads, but why should I go out with someone who doesn’t even know my name, even though we’ve known each other our whole lives?’
‘Isn’t it a dream come true?’
‘No.’
‘Please?’ Molly threw herself at me and hung off me again in a pathetic manner. ‘I’ll pay you five grand!’
Seriously? I knew her liking me was nothing short of a fairy tale type fantasy, but how desperate was she for a boyfriend, that she she would pay me, our class’s resident nerd, 5,000 dollars. Not to mention where the hell does a small town college girl get that kind of money?
‘No. You honestly can’t believe you can buy love can you?’
‘I don’t need love! I just need to make my ex jealous! I’ll up it to 10!’
If all women were this crazy, I give up on women! I started to walk away. Maybe I was crazy for giving up on ten grand, but I seriously had lost all interest in her. I was not to be a doormat for an unattainable crush.
‘Wait!’
I stopped. That would prove to be my undoing in more ways than one. ‘What?!’
‘At least let me bring you home once and introduce you as my fiance!’
‘Seriously? If I am not agreeing to be your boyfriend, what on earth makes you think I’ll be your fiancé?!’
‘Just one night! Then you and I can have a huge fight and break up then. My ex will run to me and save me in my hour of loneliness.’
I stared at her completely exhausted of arguing with her. ‘Fine. I guess I will go back and be the laughingstock of town again.’
*. *. *. *. *
After that incident with Molly, I honestly stopped caring about my attempts to be anything other than a heterosexual male. I honestly even began wondering if I even really had a crush on her before all this happened, or if I was “crushing” on her because I knew all the other guys were. I did all the “research” that people do while people explore their gender identity and sexual identity. You know, the whole ask a million questions on every site related to what your identity is, follow various social media accounts, hell I even joined a local LGBTQ+ meetup group.
Since I was playing a fiancé for only one night (and the engagement party was planned for a few months out), I honestly didn’t care what the hell Molly thought about my movements these days. She had added me to a few chat groups of hers through various social media accounts, bragging to her friends about how I was her amazing picture perfect fiancé. (Well, on the bright side, at least she finally figured out my name.) We got requests for proof, since Molly had never even mentioned anyone but her ‘good for nothing ex’. So begrudgingly I had to take cutesie photos with her. She promised me I had to go no further than kiss her cheek.
Apparently, among these contact groups was her ‘gay bff’ as she referred to him. And he ran in the same circles I did. Nik apparently also was the only one who saw through Molly’s plan and about four weeks after the incident, he privately messaged me.
-‘I know you aren’t her fiancé.’
-‘Hmm?’ I responded back.
-‘She conned you into this didn’t she?’
-‘What makes you ask?’
For about five minutes i saw the three little dots that indicated he was still typing. Finally, I got the message. -‘I saw you at the Queeriez club night last week. And you weren’t exactly going incognito.’
-‘Oh.’ I then followed up with, ‘I honestly don’t give a shit about Molly. I lost any respect for her the moment she flung herself on me right outside my classroom. Then she asked me to be her boyfriend and she persisted to ask. To the point of offering me 10 grand.’
He sent a laughing emoji, the one with tears, and then said, ‘I know it will make you the town laughing stock if you do this. So what do you say to playing a trick on her back?’
-‘That depends.’
-‘How about this. Luna cafe. 12 pm. Tomorrow.’
-‘Fine.’ We talked a little longer, and I even laughed with him about the fact that Molly didn’t even know my name.
The next day, at exactly 11:59 am, I strolled into Luna Cafe. In the back, a bright purple haired germanic looking prince waved at me. I slid into the booth, the velvet padding on the circular bench just a couple shades darker than the prince’s hair. The man, grinned as I sidled up next to him. ‘Hey Josh,’ he teased, using one of the many names I told him Molly called me.
‘Haha funny, Nate.’ I purposely called him the wrong name back.
‘Okay, Jeffrey. I need to be real with you.’
‘Okay?’
‘I think you should come out to a couple other people in the group beforehand. They already know the kind of person Molly is and suspect you got thrown into her mess.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yeah. Lacey and Stacey. They said you three were close in high school, but while you talked about Molly non-stop, you were one of the few boys who wasn’t constantly ogling her. You were discreet about it, especially since other than those two, you had no real friends. They said in fact you were bullied a lot.’
‘Mm.’ I was embarrassed he had heard from the twins about my past.
‘Do you have anymore classes today?’
‘No. My only class today was Chem 2334 with Professor Styles.’
‘Oh I heard about him! He’s every gay boy’s wet dream with those looks and voice, but a devil when it comes to his class.’
‘Mhm.’ I paused for a moment then said, ‘Although, to be honest, he seems like a good guy?’
‘Oh?’
‘He seemed perceptive enough to help me out with Molly assaulting me in public. It might have been for other reasons like he said, but I got the feeling he knew I wasn’t much for being a public sideshow.’
‘That’s pretty cool. Most university professors don’t even know the students names, or even care about them.’
‘Well, he does teach the higher course classes, the ones that are small.’ I shrugged. Finally, a waitress arrived at our table. I ordered a couple chocolate croissants and a caramel frappe with almond milk, hazelnut, and cinnamon.
Nik ordered a simple mocha latte with soy milk and laughed at my order. When the waitress came back he looked at my drink that came in a cup with a dome shaped lid. ‘If you tell me you ordered that because it looks pretty, I may have to smack you.’
‘What if that isn’t why I ordered it, but now I don’t want to drink it because they made it too pretty’ I smirked.
Nik rolled his eyes. ‘Anyway, if you don’t have anymore classes, let’s go hit up the twins!’
‘Sure.’
‘Great!’ He picked up his bag and coffee, and left the cafe. I followed him to beat up black F-150 pickup, and we climbed in. ‘Call the girls and let them know I conned you into coming to visit.’
So I did. ‘Hey Lace.’
‘J!’
‘So… I met this German prince guy. Claims his name is Niklaus. He’s trying to drag me to the community college to meet some cute girls.’
‘Ah, yeah, Nik makes a terrible wingman, I should warn you,’ Lacey joked, playing along with her old friend’s game.
‘Oh? Really? He told me these girls are cute, but he had no interest beyond friendship with them. Makes me wonder why he wants me to meet them. Is this that whole kind of meet the family thing?’
I heard sputtering coming from the other side of the line, and looked over at Nik, who was trying to contain his laughter. Finally, it seemed like the girls regained enough composure for Stacey to take the phone and say, ‘Get your asses here stat. Meet us in the student union lobby.’
‘So… after talking to the girls, you realize they are going to try and hook us up, right? And should we refuse, they will start hunting down boyfriends for us.’
‘Mmhmm. Sorry though, you’re friendzoned, Mr. German Prince.’
‘Yeah, you’re too cutesie for me. No offense.’
‘None taken. That’s the very reason no one saw me as a threat when it comes to Molly. I’m just a cute quiet little nerd.’
We parked in front of the student union building a few minutes latee, and walked in. Nik was ever the gentleman and opened the door. It had been about a month or so since the girls had seen me and started charging toward me. I still have a bit of trauma leftover from Molly hanging off me in public and making a scene, so I called, ‘No hugs.’
The girls stopped and stared at me like I had suddenly grown two more heads.
‘Sorry. PDA is off-limits right now. Molly cured me of wanting any from girls for a while.’ They still looked at me funny, but led us to a pair of couches facing each other.
‘So is PDA from guys okay, then?’ Stacey tactlessly blurted out.
‘Considering he was grinding up against them last Friday, I’d say sure,’ Nik laughed.
I rolled my eyes, and then said, ‘Not sure I was ever really interested in Molly. I think it was more me trying to be straight so I went along with the trend. Made more sense for my staying single if I liked someone completely unattainable.’
‘So you snagged up her brother instead,’ Lacey grinned.
Nik facepalmed. ‘I hadn’t told Jeffrey the whole brother thing yet, Lacey!’
‘Oops.’
I shrugged. Didn’t matter to me any. ‘So now that it is out, what was your idea Nik?’
‘I actually have two. The first is you find someone at the party and we have her catching you making out with him. Or the second, you just bring a date to the party. Either way, in the public break-up you announce that it was her fault she got a gay guy to play pretend with her.’
I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I dunno. It seems too similar to what she did to me.’
‘At least make people aware that she put you up to it beforehand.’
*. *. *. *. *
Besides the professor, there was someone else in the course that was total eye-candy to me. He was on the university basketball team, and usually he wore a black tank top and blue basketball shorts to class. I sure enjoyed seeing his toned muscles. A couple weeks after my conversation with Nik and the girls, we were actually paired together, and I had the distinct impression Professor Styles did it on purpose.
‘Hey, guess it is you and me today, J.’
I blinked at his use of his overly familiar nickname, but found I didn’t hate it. ‘Guess so,’ I blushed.
‘You put on makeup today.’ King (his parents named him well, in my opinion) didn’t seem the slightest bit disgusted. If I had been looking up at the moment, I would have in fact seen that he was fascinated.
‘Mm. I visited my friends from my hometown a couple days ago. They gave me a bit of a makeover, and I realized I didn’t hate it. So I tried to replicate the makeup at least.’
‘Looks good.’
‘Thanks.’
‘What does your girlfriend think?’
‘Girlfriend?’ I asked, genuinely confused.
‘The girl hanging off you after class a few weeks ago? She isn’t your girlfriend?’
I laughed, and pulled out my phone. I typed on my phone an explanation, not wanting everyone to hear my sad situation.
‘Oh. Good.’ King gave me a smile then typed on my phone. ‘Home game tonight. You’re going to go.’
‘Oh I am, am I?’ I said aloud
‘Mhm.’ King then typed another message. ‘Of course my boyfriend should come!’
I dropped my phone, and it clattered to the floor. Everyone turned to look at us, but for me, I didn’t even notice. I was too shocked. I didn’t even imagine that King could be gay, and now he had staked his claim on me.
‘Oh… did you finally confess, King?’ Professor Styles said with a devilish smirk.
If I had had any doubts that the pairing was purposeful, that comment definitely confirmed it. It was the comment that broke my shocked state too. ‘Ok. I will be there,’ I said finally.
King grinned and wrapped his arms around me. I have no doubt the would have swung me around in the air if we weren’t in an enclosed space with chemicals all around. (We were supposed to do an experiment today as a practical.) Instead, he kissed me, tenderly and sweetly at first.
But it wasn’t long until I had my tongue in his mouth, warring with his, and my arms around his neck. A cough from Professor Styles broke us apart, and we resumed our work as if nothing happened. Sort of.
‘Your lipstick is smudged,’ King whispered. He opened his backpack and handed me a travel pack of tissues.
I smiled and thanked him. I then opened the front pouch on my computer shoulder bag, and pulled out a handheld mirror, and fixed my face. Once satisfied, put everything away, and then picked up my phone. Shit. It broke.
‘I’ll buy you a new one after class.’
‘That’s not necessary.’
‘It’s my fault it broke. So humor me.’
‘No.’
King gave me a puppy dog look, and I swear, I tried really hard to resist. But in the end, he won. ‘Fine. But I don’t need an expensive one.’
‘You need one that will last you a long time and of good quality though!’
‘King.’
‘Fine. At least let me buy you a refurbished one!’
A couple hours later, I had to separate from King. I had one more class, and he wanted to get a nap in before he had to meet up with his team. But once I had downloaded the data from my old phone and installed all the social media apps Molly said I needed so I could communicate with her friends, plus all THAT data, I found I had little desire to go to my next class. I had what seemed like 200 messages from Molly asking me to clarify what the hell was going on.
It was only then that I found out some people had taken videos and pictures and posted them in the chat for our major. Somehow, it got onto the school forums too. King had posted his status on Facebook as ‘My baby is coming to our first game of the season tonight! So we definitely better win!’
I had gotten a text from Nik, -‘That was fast! King of all people! I am so jealous! Also that kiss was damn hot and steamy! Professor Fierce actually allowed you two to make out in his class?’
I responded back, -‘Oddly, he actually encouraged it! I guess King had been hiding his feelings for a while. Professor Matchmaker forced us to pair up today.’
Suddenly Nik called me. ‘Tell me the whole damn story!’
‘You sure are a gossip whore!’ I laughed. Nik was a great friend to have around, I decided. I knew he’d always have my back. So I explained the entirety of what happened.
‘You’re joking! He seriously asked you out and called you boyfriend in one sentence? That guy has some big balls.’
‘I sure hope he does,’ I joked suggestively.
‘You sure came out of your shell since that whole incident. Seems like at least some good came out of Molly’s harassment.’
‘Speaking of which, she knows. She is mad as hell at me.’
‘Haha, of course. You being gay and the whole university knowing it kinda ruins her image.’
‘I haven’t actually read the two hundred texts she sent.’
‘Oh shit. Speak of the devil, I will call you later. She barged into my room.’
‘Bye.’
The game had been intense. I have to admit, I am not a big fan of sports. So I thought I would be completely and utterly bored. I dragged Lacey, Stacey, and Nik to the game with me, as an effort to make sure I stayed entertained. And to make sure Molly stayed away. The girls took a seat on each side of me, and Nik sat behind us. Nik ever so helpfully pointed King out to the girls, saying, ‘He’s the only one you aren’t allowed to drool over.’
I was surprised at how into the game I was, given I really was only there to see King’s hot sweaty body — err I mean because King ordered me to go. We had won the game, and I was feeling the same high the other fans were as we left the bleachers. As I made my way toward the locker room with Nik and the girls, I felt a big hard object with big fluffy pillows barrel its way onto my back. I knew instantly who it was. ‘Fuck.’ I hissed. ‘Get the fuck off me, Molly!’
Nik tried to pry the blonde bimbo of a sister off me. ‘Molly. Don’t mess with him. You saw the pictures!’
‘And I told you! It has to be a joke! Neither King nor JJ are gay! Plus JJ is my fiance!’
‘And I told you that you are so very wrong! I have been hanging out with Jeffrey for a while now! And we attend queer events together!’
‘Straight boys can go to those!’
I tried to wrestle myself free as as well, but the woman was like a koala with a vice grip on me. ‘Listen to me, Molly. You told me we only had to pretend for one night. But then you make me add all your friends and family and talk to them and shit. So of course they ask for evidence. Therefore I have to suppress every urge to vomit as I pretend I actually like you. I said I didn’t want to be your boyfriend, and yet here I am… pretending to play the part. Well fuck off. I’m done. And you can forget the damn engagement party! If you don’t, I’ll be showing up to the party with King. And YOU will be the laughingstock of the town! Because, guess what?! I am gay! I freaking broke my phone today because a guy I have been drooling over secretly for the past year and a half asked me out!’
‘Stop lying! I know you followed me here to college! I know you like me more than the other boys in our hometown!’
‘Do you really think I would have survived high school if I openly came out? In our damn town?’
‘Nik did!’
‘Nik is a freakin German Prince! Whereas I was the cute little nerd with big coke-bottle glasses that everyone bullied! Until you pushed my buttons two months ago, I was denying everything. Hiding behind a mask. But I guess I should thank you! You pissed me off so much that I just couldn’t fathom another second of holding back. I looked deep into myself, and realized, I don’t actually like women sexually or romantically.’
‘You bastard! You WILL marry me! This is just a ruse!’
King came out of the locker room with a couple of his teammates, laughing and cheering together.
He heard the last words Molly had to say. ‘If this is a ruse, Jeffrey is damn good at acting. He had his tongue shoved so far down my throat in class today that we both were sporting erections. I’m sure you can see them in a couple photos.’ King managed to pull me away from the group and Molly fell off my back, mostly out of shock at my anger and King’s blunt statement. He then held me tight in his arms as if afraid Molly might try something else. ‘Hey beautiful! Are you coming with us to celebrate? Your friends can come too!’
I grinned and threw my arms around his neck and looked over to my friends (Not Molly obviously) and said, ‘You guys go ahead. We’ll be there later. Maybe.’
King waved his teammates off, (who had the audacity to whistle, of course) and then he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder. ‘You’re coming home with me.’
‘Yes boss.’
King’s house was huge. It was a mansion that I swear could fit at least four of my parents’ houses in it. But the thing that attracted me most were the gardens. They had beautiful fountains, and gorgeous rosebushes, chrysanthemums, and many other flowers. ‘So beautiful!’ I mumbled as King placed me on a bench across from a fountain designed to look like a merman was jumping out of the water.
‘You know, my parents had this fountain made for me. The moment I told them I was gay, Mom said, “Goodness! Then all these statues in our fountain do no good! We need at least one that has a man on it!” In that moment, I knew that I had the greatest parents in the world.’
I smiled. ‘Well, only great parents could make a man as great as you.’ I pulled him down onto the bench and climbed onto his lap. ‘Damn, that was a cheesy line! I’m sorry!’ I hid my face into his chest, completely embarrassed.
‘I don’t think it was cheesy at all.’ He rubbed my back to calm down my embarrassment.
‘Hey. Do you mind if I call my parents? I want to tell them I will probably be bringing a boy home for them to meet. But I don’t want to be alone in case they don’t take it well.’
‘Sure.’
I pulled out my phone, and for the moment ignored the explosion of notifications. I dialed home, and waited a few rings. My younger brother, who was about eight answered. ‘Rogers residence. Keith speaking.’
‘Hey kiddo. Are mom and dad home?’
‘No. They are over at the Kleinbergs. But they said to tell you to call mom’s cell.’
‘Okay. Thanks.’
‘Uh huh. I’m going back to bed.’
I dialed mom’s cell, and she screeched in my ear the moment she answered. (Was that a mom thing?) ‘Jeffy!’
‘There’s an R in my name mom,’ I grumbled. ‘Also did you put me on the damn speaker?’
‘No. Should I?’
‘Are you at the Kleinbergs still?’
‘Yes.’
‘Please put it on speaker then.’ When he heard background noise, he also put his phone on speaker. ‘David. Stella. Mom. Dad. I am sure you all were shocked to hear Molly is engaged to me.’
Stella laughed. ‘That’s quite an understatement! She didn’t even know your name when she told us!’
David snorted. ‘I was damn certain if “the rogers oldest boy” was going to marry into our family at all, it’d be to Niklaus!’
My parents seemed to agree with David’s assessment. My mom however added, ‘That’s of course because Niklaus is the only openly gay kid around here! So we had no clue who you would marry in reality!’
King laughed loudly. ‘In other words, Jeffrey, you spent a year ogling me and drooling over me, and me doing the same to you, and we could have been dating all this time! You nutcase!’
I blushed, not that anyone could see it. My mom piped up and said, ‘Oh! Is that mister chemistry partner!’
‘Uh, I guess then you’ve seen the photos!’
‘No the video!’
‘Mom!!! I do not think you need to see that!’ I cried out.
Everyone in the room laughed. But eventually Stella said, ‘Our daughter said it was a prank. You and she were madly in love with each other.’
‘That’s far from the truth.’
‘We know. Nik told us what she did.’
‘Well that saves a lot of explanation,’ I said.
‘My daughter needs to learn that using people like pawns in a chess game is not okay. So please continue on with your lives boys. But both of you come back for the engagement party next month. Is that all right?’
‘Sure. But Molly keeps harassing me. Is there anything you can do?’
‘Don’t worry about that.’
‘Thanks everyone.’
‘Of course!’
I hung up the call and looked up into King’s eyes. They were sparkling. As I am sure mine were too. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips then said, ‘Should we go inside? It is kind of cold.’
King hoisted me over his shoulder again, somehow I was getting used to this sort of thing from him. ‘So am I introducing you to my parents, or are we going to try and dodge them, which knowing my mother will probably be unsuccessful.’
‘Well you kinda met mine, so it’s only fair, but dodging does sound kind of fun!’
King laughed. ‘I suppose we haven’t caused enough trouble today!’
‘Not in the slightest!’