The Saint is the Sinner

The Saint is the Sinner

By Servemist

Chapter 4

Welcome friends. If you joined me for the journey from the beginning, thank you. If you are just coming to the party now, you will need to read the first three chapters, otherwise the story will not make sense. Go ahead and read, I will wait right here! You may note, the I am playing with a timeline that is off. In my universe, a club that didn’t exist, existed in my universe. If you enjoy this story, please rate it highly, if you do not like the story, please leave a comment and I promise I will do better in the next few chapters. Once again, I would like to thank my editor 1moeannie, who has become a tremendous source of support and really does make me look smarter than I actually am. I would also like to thank Wax Philosophic. She continues to provide me with positive feedback, reading my dribble and constantly answering my boring questions. Please take the time to search out both of their names on the Lit site. Both may be a resource and inspiration.

Peter

Fall of 1997

 

“And I wonder when I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I’ll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say.”

 

 

Everlong — Foo Fighters

 

What I thought was going to be one year, became almost five years. I love London, it’s similar to New York. Just as vibrant as the city, but with a flair. The publishing house was gracious enough to provide me with a flat in Vauxhall section of London.

This was a popular gay section of London and I personally didn’t feel hiding my sexuality was something I needed to do. I didn’t flaunt my sexuality to everyone, but I never hid the fact that I was gay. I dealt with everyone on a need to know basis.

I don’t do connections.

The first year or so, away from the states was a strange time of adjustment. I met Bill for ten minutes if that, but he stuck with me. I could usually just shake these things off and move on to the next guy.

I wasn’t moving on!

I don’t do connections.

I remember the plane ride from New York to Gatwick. Riding in first class, drinking champagne like an old queen. I thought if I drank enough, it would dull me enough to eventually forget what happened in Jersey. It didn’t. It only made me think about what I did and what I should have done.

“I grabbed his ass for god-sake!” I said in a very low voice, looking out the plane window.

When I looked at Bill, he was everything I wanted in a man. I knew it from the moment I saw him in his yard. He was thin, but solid, his expression was that of longing, searching for something. His hair was wavy, and he had dimples!

Dimples, how cute is that! He gave me the impression that I needed to be the aggressive one. He was not going to make the first move. I knew I had too.

“So, I did.” Again, in a low voice, saying it to no one.

When I stepped closer to him, he didn’t move, if anything, he stepped closer to me. When I placed my hand behind his head to bring him in for a kiss, there was no resistance, no pull back, it was like he was on autopilot. He let me control the situation, control the intensity of the kiss.

I thought I would just kiss him and give him one of my patent smiles. The smile that says “Who’s the boss now?” I just could not stop kissing him!

What the fuck was that all about?

When I did finally stop, I had two issues. One, my cock was never this hard. Two, I couldn’t let him see that I had this crazy hard-on.

So, what do I do? I grab his ass! What a great diversion!

That ass was too good. It was firm, with just a touch of play that I could spend days exploring. I’ve got to get that ass again! I thought he would pull back, hopefully slap my hand away, or say “Hey not in my yard!” Anything would have been better than nothing and letting me continue to fondle him.

Nothing, he did nothing.

God, this guy is so right for me!

I knew I was the right guy at the wrong time. I was leaving for fucking London in less than forty-eight hours. Bill didn’t strike me as a “fuck me now” guy. He was a guy that I wanted to get to know.

When he got pissed off, I should have done something, anything. Instead I looked around for a few minutes, called a cab, and boarded a plane.

Four and a half years later, I am lying on my back, looking up at the ceiling in my flat in Vauxhall. I turn my head to the right and see Don sleeping in the nude.

I know he is naked, because I have been fucking him for four and a half years. Don never sleeps with cloths on. Which is good, because I really enjoy fucking him when I want!

Bill

Summer of 1999

 

“But when the night is falling, you cannot find the light, light, you feel your dreams are dying, Hold tight”

 

 

You get what you give — New Radicals

 

My apartment is actually really nice now. I am no Adam, he could run circles around This Old House, but I found that their ideas are useful. I managed to turn my place into one hell of a nice living space.

My mom and dad come over for dinner on occasion, mom actually started to teach me to cook. I am in my thirties and finally learning how to cook. I better watch out; I could be growing up.

For me and my parents, Wednesday is pasta night. I remember as a kid, a commercial saying that. For my family, it stuck. My parents are coming to my place this time, and I am cooking for them for a change.

My parents and I have been side stepping regarding my sexual orientation. I haven’t said anything, but I am pretty sure they know somehow. I think their bowling friends look at me and say “Yeah, he’s gay.”

Tonight, is pasta night, I am wearing a red short sleeve shirt, and black shorts that are about four inches above the knee. I am also wearing black socks with white stripes they are four inches below the knee. I finished with black leather boots.

If you took a picture, I would be an advertisement for your neighborhood twink. I really didn’t mind. I am actually becoming comfortable being the neighborhood twink. There are women at work who are more masculine than me. My hair is jet black and spiky, and if I didn’t give off the gay vibe, I am wearing black eyeliner and mascara.

There is a knock at the door, my parents are always on time. I open the door, to hellos, and hugs. What I didn’t anticipate was Vivian standing behind them. My parents walk past me, leaving me at the door looking at Vivian, and Vivian standing in her same spot looking at me.

There is not a word spoken at first, but I can already sense that I have tears in my eyes. I look at Vivian who has tears in her eyes. All I can think about is how we left it so many years ago. How we just let ourselves drift further apart.

We forgot how much we really loved each other. How we saved each other. Her saving me more.

“Bill,” she says in a low whisper.

“Trip,” barely getting the word out, my lips trembling.

We launch ourselves at one another and hug as tightly as our arms will allow.

My father comes to the door, since we haven’t moved.

“Is it still pasta night?” He says with a grin.

I release Vivian from my hug, but hold her hand. “Yes, but room for one more.”

Vivian looks at me through her tears. “Your mascara is running.”

I smile saying “Yours’s too.”

My father yells from the kitchen. “You don’t hear that about your son every day!” My mother gives him a slap on his arm and both smile at one another.

I have yet to let go of Vivian’s hand, we both hold onto each other’s hand tightly. Trying to get back the years we lost by not letting go.

“Mom and Dad” finally letting go of Vivian’s hand. “I have to fix my face.”

I smile at Vivian, who is wiping her tears from her face. As I start walking to my bathroom, I stop look at both my parents. “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!”

Both of my parents tear up, my father says “Billy, we watched you grow up, we may be just parents, but we always loved you. No matter what, that will never change.”

That is how it was for Pasta Night. My parents, Vivian, then eventually Trixie coming to my apartment every Wednesday for pasta.

I stopped being Bill and became Trip again. While we didn’t move in together again, we talked constantly. We became close again, I can’t say everything was perfect, Trixie can be tough. We were back to being close friends.

I found out later the same night I came out to my parents that Vivian and Trixie weren’t dancing at the strip club and hadn’t for a long time. Both actually got paralegal degrees, and worked at the same law firm.

Vivian would tell me in secret “One of these days, when the world comes to their senses, that girl is going to make an honest woman of me.”

I concur

I dated here and there; nothing really came of it. I wasn’t much of the one-night stand type, my adult store days were behind me. Having had so much unprotected sex, I was tested regularly.

During the late part of the summer, before Labor Day Vivian, Trixie and I went to a gay club in Asbury Park. An upscale club called Paradise. Not like the bar that Adam and I walked into, so many years ago.

Adam, you are still in my thoughts

Each night Club Paradise had a theme night. One night it was a drag show, Bear night for guys into hairy guys, Dom and Sub night, and the rest of the week there was dancing. We were there to dance. Between the three of us, I think I dressed more feminine that the girls.

I wore an oversized Beastie Boys Intergalactic t-shirt, with short jean shorts, and a pair of Chuck Taylor Converse black sneakers, and no socks.

One thing I still did, was wear jockstraps, I wore a black Musclemate jockstrap. I felt that jockstraps made me feel sexy and if a guy got lucky, it let him know that I had sub tendencies.

Both girls wore tight jeans that showed their defined legs and asses. Both wore t-shirts that said “I eat pussy, and not meat”. I wasn’t sure if I was jealous of how good they looked or how I thought I could never look that good?

As soon as we got there, we found a small table. The first song that played was one of my favorites, Ultra Nate’s “Found a Cure”. They played the electric funk dub mix. The beat drives me crazy. I immediately grabbed Vivian’s hand and we move to the dance floor.

Trixie yells to us “I’ll get the drinks.”

The dance floor is packed already, Vivian and I are in the middle of it. Men dancing with men, women with women, even guys dancing with girls. We have huge grins on our faces, we love dancing with one another, as androgynous as I’ve come to be, if you had seen Vivian and I dance, you might think it was damn sexy.

Vivian had no problem with being the aggressive one on the dance floor. Grabbing my ass, humping me, placing both hands over my breast from behind. On the outside looking in, we were very much into one another. She was the only women, whoever turned me on, and she was working that magic tonight.

“Found a Cure” mixed into Lisa Stanfield’s “I’m Leavin”, the radio mix which encouraged Vivian and I to dance closer to one another. She placed her hand around the back of my neck and I placed my right arm around her waist. She placed one leg in between mine with her knee was rubbing my crotch, as my knee rubbed hers.

Every once in a while, there is a line that you are about to cross. It might have always been in the back of your mind, you always thought how it could be, or is this what you want it to be. It’s a rare moment, but it can have an impact for a lifetime.

As time seemed to stop Vivian and I looked into each other’s eyes, our lips touched, her lips were soft, moist and warm. Even after dancing, she smelled wonderful. We didn’t open our mouths or use our tongues, as we embraced and kissed.

As we stopped, we looked into each other’s eyes again, smiling and holding hands, we walked off the dance floor, to our table. As we got closer to our table, I noticed that Trixie had gotten our drinks. Which was a good thing, I was so thirsty from dancing.

I also noticed she was smiling ear to ear. The kind of smile that says “You’re busted”. Vivian gave Trixie a nice passionate kiss, and I sat down next to Vivian. I immediately took a long swig of my drink.

“So” Trixie says with a smile, holding Vivian’s hand on the table, turning to the both of us. “Did you guys finally get that out of your systems?”

I choke as my drink seems to automatically come out of my nose, and Vivian just laughs out loud and reaches over kissing me on the cheek.

Both of us already knew the answer, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I looked at the both, and said “Yes, I’m really into men and Viv is really into you.”

Vivian says with a straight face “Wait, what! You didn’t feel the earth move?” Then she smiles, and looks at Trixie “Yeah, I’m really into you.”

Trixie pulls Vivian closer to her, and kisses her softly on the lips.

All three of us danced together, Vivian and Trixie danced, I even danced with Trixie. We didn’t dance the same way Vivian and I danced, but it was nice, it was comfortable.

As Trixie and Vivian danced to “Comin back” by Crystal Method, I sat alone at the table, alone with my thoughts. Not really paying attention to what’s going on around me. To my surprise a glass is placed in front of me, a glass of what I had been drinking all night. Without looking up, I just say, “Thanks, I’m good.”

“A man as cute as you, should never go without a drink.”

I look up to see this handsome guy. Dark complexion, short hair, wearing a white t-shirt, that fits him perfectly. Jeans that were tight, and a crooked smile when I finally lift my eyes to look in his direction. I detected a Jamaican accent, or close to it.

I smiled and lifted my glass and clanked it with his. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” he says to me with a smile.

“So” with a cat eating the canary grin, I said. “You’ve been studying my drinking habits all night, and it took you this long to come over.”

“You were dancing with such pretty ladies; I couldn’t figure it out,” he says defensively.

“Now you figured it out?” I smile.

“No” his face split with a huge grin “I took a shot.”

“Good call.” I say and motion to the seat next to me. “Have a seat.”

“They are together, I am by my lonesome.” I said with a smile.

So, we sat there drinking our drinks and smiling at each other.

“Trip, my name is Trip if you’re interested,” I say bringing my glass to my mouth and taking a sip.

“Michael.” He puts out his hand, and I reached out to shake it. “The pleasure is all mine.”

Michael and I talk as the next few songs play. Vivian and Trixie are at the next table talking with friends. I noticed Vivian mouthing, “Are you OK?”

I simply gave her the thumbs up.

Towards the end of the night, Madonna’s “Ray of Light” played. The song has a great beat. A good “Get to know you better song”.

I look at Michael, and ask “Would you like to dance with me Michael.” I said it with passion between each word, which stopped Michael in his tracks. He looked into my eyes and in that moment, I knew he understood that this was my way of telling him that I’m interested.

He grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. Our bodies didn’t touch, but we were close enough that we could clearly see our desire for one another.

As “Ray of Light” faded, Elvis Presley’s “A Little Less Conversation”, started playing. He made his move and placed his right hand on my hip and pulled me closer. I let him move me as he wanted. I raised my hands to both sides of his head, as if I was going to settle them on his shoulders.

I looked into his eyes as he started to mouth the words to the song to me:

“A little less conversation, a little more action please”

“All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me”

“A little more bite and a little less bark”

“A little less fight and a little more spark”

“Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me”

This man was not playing around, I thought. My face must have gone a few shades of red. He took my left hand and spun me around so that my left arm was across my chest, and my hand touching my shoulder. He grinds his cock into my ass as I grind my ass back into him.

He leans closer to my neck kissing it. Wet kisses, turn into passionate bites, then his tongue licks up and down my neck, he bites my earlobe. I lift my right arm and place it around the back of his neck. I am now exposing the front of my body. Anyone looking, can see the front of me and more importantly, my arousal.

I don’t stop rubbing my ass against his cock, and he doesn’t stop trying to fuck me through my shorts. Then he spins me around one more time, I’m face to face with him, he brings me into him for a deep kiss. I’m so excited, I open my mouth instantly as his tongue tangles with mine.

His hands run up and down the sides of my body, eventually finding their way to my ass. Through the light fabric of my jeans, he has to know that my ass fully framed by my jockstrap. While still in a passionate kiss, I lowered my right hand, not so innocently as I lightly brushed my hand across the front of his pants. Even so lightly, I could tell he has a huge cock. At this point I can’t wait. I must have this man.

We stop making a spectacle of ourselves on the dance floor, both of us are flushed and breathing heavily. We walk back to our table, Michael has his hand around my waste, suddenly he moves his hand to squeeze my ass, a few times.

Vivian and Trixie are back at our table with huge grins on their faces.

As soon as I get to the table, I gulp down what was left of my drink.

Michael notices asking, “You want another drink baby?”

I absorb the baby comment with a smile saying, “No, I’m good thanks.”

Both Michael and I are obviously turned on by each other and want nothing more than to rip the clothes off one another. Trixie having perfect Trixie timing, decides to chime in.

“Nice dancing boys,” Trixie said with a lewd smile. “Right Viv?” Looking over at Vivian.

Vivian knowing where this was going “If you can call it that.”

Now I know where this is going, I turning red with embarrassment.

Trixie on the verge of laughter “Yeah, more like foreplay.”

Vivian trying to maintain a straight face, but losing it, “Yeah, thought Trip was going to come back here pregnant.”

Michael puts his arms over my shoulder, brings me closer for a hug. Kisses my cheek from behind, and without the girls seeing, pushes his hard cock into my ass. “Not yet.” He whispers.

“Vivian, Trixie, this is Michael,” I introduced everyone already another shade of red.

At that moment, we all laughed.

Vivian looks at me, already knowing the answer. “Trip, we were thinking about heading out, it’s an hour drive back north.”

Michael says quickly before any other decisions can be made. “I have a room here at the Empress.”

The Empress is the hotel part of the Paradise club. Most who stay over the weekend, stay at the Empress.

Vivian gives a fake look of concern. “Now, Michael, what makes you think that our Trip is a loose boy?”

I give Vivian a panicked look. “I AM a loose boy Vivian, leave me alone.”

“Do not fear ladies, I will make sure Trip is safe at home in the morning.” Michael said looking into my eyes. “Or late afternoon.” With a smile.

I couldn’t be more turned on right now, all I’m thinking is that this man better take me to his room and properly fuck the daylights or nightlights out of me.

Once everyone decides to leave, Vivian, Trixie, and I say our goodbyes, while Michael leans against the wall of the Paradise Club.

Vivian looks at me seriously for a minute. “You sure this is ok?” Trixie chimes in “Yeah, we don’t want your little head thinking for your big head.”