We started dating back in high school.
We were the typical high school sweethearts in many ways, I suppose. We sat together at lunch, suffered through P.E together, and we both survived my senior prom.
Her prom was a different story altogether, but that’s neither here nor there.
Summer Campbell was a couple of grades below me when we met, but we’ve managed to stick it out for the last few years, for better or for worse. It’s been anything but easy. We’ve had our fair share of fights, explosive arguments, and otherwise toxic moments. We’ve gone through periods of distrust lined with shaky foundations.
Okay, so we’re one of those couples that’s broken up a few times and then gotten back together. So what? We love each other and that’s the bottom line.
Truth is, Summer is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I will always treasure the moment that she walked into my life.
I met her at a party – feels like so many years ago, now. My buddy Jason was throwing a little shindig at his place and he invited me over. I, being the social maestro that I am, ended up on my phone most of the night. I’d tried to strike up conversations with people at various points throughout the evening, but I just didn’t know anyone there. Truth is, I’ve never been the kind of guy that can get dropped into a social scenario like that and, without knowing anybody, become the life of the party. Instead, it was quite the opposite. It was a pretty lonely night that left me feeling awkward and introverted for the most part.
For the most part being the operative part of that statement: that was all before Summer. Changing her transformed my night, and ultimately my life.
Jason, who had been one of my best mates for years, ended up introducing us. It feels like forever ago, and as clichéd and tired as it sounds, I can remember it like it was yesterday.
“Have you met Charles yet? Probably the smartest and dumbest guy you’re likely to meet tonight at the same time,” he chuckled, punching my arm.
That’s when I saw her for the first time. She laughed and I swear she glistened. Her shimmering, golden blonde hair fell back over her shoulders and down her lovely toned back. She was fit, but not in a distracting or overbearing manner. Her tan frame looked like it was sculpted from a collage of supermodels. She must have been about 5’6, I’d say, and with hips like a…god damn, I’m not lying, she was the hottest chick in that room. She beamed a smile at me that would have intimidated the varsity quarterback. It was at that moment that I knew I was a goner.
“Oh really? And why’s that?” she asked.
“Huh?” I snapped out of it, realizing that I was probably staring.
She giggled, seemingly recognizing this fact. “I was just asking your friend about you.”
“The dude quotes Kant and eats differential equations for breakfast, but he’s gonna bomb here like always,” Jason laughed before slapping his buddy gently on the shoulder reassuringly. “Have fun, you two,” he told them while making his way back over to the keg.
Okay, so my memory’s not perfect. I can’t remember the first thing I said to her, whatever dull line that might have been. Really, I’m not sure that I even remember the first thing that I ever heard her say. But I remember Jason’s sarcastic introduction, because it lead to one of the best nights of my life. We talked for hours on end that night, just the two of us. We slipped away from the crowd, looked up at the stars, and I felt the blueness of her eyes intertwine with mine.
Sometimes I wish that night could have lasted forever.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, but we didn’t get together that night. She just wasn’t that kind of girl. We were both young and didn’t really know how to approach things back then. There wasn’t even a goodnight kiss. It was just talking.
When I went home that evening I knew that I had met someone who was truly special. Even then, I’m not sure I would have anticipated how big a part of my life she would one day become.
About a month later I finally got the courage to ask her out and she said yes. The first kiss came about two months after that. I’ll admit, it was a slow and arduous process. I’d had a few girlfriends up to this point, but none of them had been even remotely as…well, attractive, as Summer. That’s not to say they weren’t good looking, they were, and honestly I had felt lucky to be with them at the time. But Summer was a different level of hot. She was a different level than I was used to, so to speak. And to be perfectly honest, probably above the level that I had previously thought possible for me.
Moreover is the fact that I just wasn’t that experienced. I had a dating history, but it was shallow, and I didn’t have a good history of being bold in the intimacy department. Up to that point I had kissed a few girls and made out with others, but nothing more. And if I’m being perfectly honest, many of those instances were more a product of the situation or even the girl being a bit forward rather than my own persistence or initiative.
So yeah, the first kiss took a while. I’m not gonna lie, I was a little worried about Summer getting impatient with me. I explained to her that I wasn’t that experienced, and she told me not to worry because neither was she. She was understanding and reassuring. What’s more, turns out that she was a tad more bold than I. The first time I visited her she tackled me the moment we stepped into the bedroom and we started making out. Another time she lead my unsteady hands underneath her shirt to unhook her bra.
Several months later she took my virginity, and I took hers. It was at my birthday party, funnily enough. We snuck off into the bedroom and she told me she was ready. I remember being quite surprised, a little terrified, and really excited all at once.
I still feel the same way to this day, almost two years after that moment. Okay, maybe not so much terrified, but sometimes still a bit intimidated by her body. Don’t get me wrong, my confidence in that regard has come a long way, but she is still so damn sexy that sometimes it’s just a little hard to believe.
We’ve been together for about three years now, on and off. We’ve both graduated from high school and moved on; I’m over at University of Berkeley studying to be an Engineer and she’s taking classes on campus at Berkeley City College. She’s still figuring out exactly what she wants to do, which I think is great. Until then she does some waitressing at the local Hooters. We moved in together recently, and that has been an adventure in itself.
Now, when I say we’ve dated off and on, that’s because of the aforementioned fights. We’ve broken up and gotten back together again a few times. We’ve gone on breaks. You know, the typical stuff. I guess that means we’re not perfect. Oh well, I like whatever it is that we are.
Lately, we’ve lived up to this imperfection. There’s been a bit of fighting. We’ve seen much, much worse – but things still haven’t exactly been smooth sailing as of late.
The start of our recent troubles came a couple of months ago. Little did I know, this was also going to be the start of something…else.
As I stated before, we had just moved in together and were still in the process of exploring what that’s like and how it can change relationships. For me, it meant wanting to know her better. Sure, I was pretty positive that I knew about 90% of what there is to know about her, but the 10% left is usually what’s the most intriguing. Living together was a new kind of intimacy all together, and so with it came new questions.
One night one of those questions treaded on dangerous waters. While we were doing some messing around I got curious and asked her a question that I maybe shouldn’t have asked her. As stated before, we’ve been on a few break: even one somewhat recently before we decided to move in with each other. They were usually over something petty that I did or said, and Summer would decide that she needed some space. It was rarely anything more serious during that.
I don’t know what possessed me to ask this question, but that night I decided to ask her whether or not she had ever dated anyone during one of our breaks.
“What?” she paused, looking at me confusedly. “What makes you ask that, baby?” she put her hand on my shoulder.
“I don’t know, just curious I guess. I mean, haven’t you ever met anyone any of the times that we were broken up that you, maybe sort-of developed a bit of a crush on?”
“Have you?” she shot a glare that I wasn’t sure how to interpret.
“No.”
“Baby, the past is the past. Can we drop this and just focus on what we’ve got now?” she asked.
“So you have, then?”
“Why do you care so much?”
“I don’t, babe. I promise, I’m just a bit curious,” I gave her a reassuring peck on the lips.
She sighed. “Okay, please don’t get mad. But there were a couple of times where I ended up dating someone after we broke up. Sometimes the fights are just too much, and I just don’t think we can make it. But every time I’ve tried dating again…I…I realize how lucky I am to have what we have. And I realize that it is worth fighting for,” she whispered, taking my hands within hers and staring into my eyes.
“What about this last time?”
“What about it?” she asked.
“Did you end up seeing anyone last time we broke up?”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t. I’m just curious.”
“Yes. I did.”
“What was his name?”
“Charles, don’t do this baby…”
“Summer -”
“Babe, the past is the past. Just leave it alone, please?”
I looked at her and saw that she really didn’t feel like discussing it any longer. Worrying that I might cause a fight, I decided to let it go. At least for now. She seemed happy by this fact, because she rewarded me by finishing me in that perfect mouth of hers.
After that night I couldn’t get the idea of her possibly seeing someone else out of my head. I guess I shouldn’t have been perplexed about the idea of Summer dating other guys. She was a virgin when we met, but she had dated other people. When we had broken up in the past I knew she had talked to other guys, but never really thought anything had materialized from it. I knew she had friends like Mark and Randy that had hit on her before and were likely prospects to hit on her anytime a beautiful creature like her was single. But we loved each other, and in some weird, naïve way, he had just assumed that she only had eyes for him all that time. A silly thought, really.
Either way, the thoughts were there and questions began popping into his head. The kind of questions you’re not sure you want the answer to. The kind that can definitely start a fight, and in this case, did.
He kissed her longingly as she climbed off of him, making her way to his side where her left hand drifted towards his member.
She kissed him deeply as she began jerking her off. “Yeah, you like that?” she whispered into his ear.
“Yeah,” he groaned, my mind swimming with unwelcome, borderline intrusive thoughts.
“Did that pussy feel good? I bet you wish you could cum in it, don’t you?”
“Fuck yes…”
“Hopefully we can get this whole birth control thing figured out soon…I want to feel you in me…all of you.”
“Damn…that’d be…hey, baby, could you slow down,” I asked, gripping her hand and guiding her to a slower pace without completely stopping.
“What’s up, baby? Everything okay?” she asked, a bit concerned.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just…you know the other night, when I asked you about whether or not you’d dated other guys while we weren’t together?”
“I thought we put that behind us, Charles…”
“We did. I did. I just…look, I’m not trying to start a fight or anything. It just has raised a few questions that I’ve been wondering about. I’m not mad, I just want to know.”
“Know what?”
“When you dated these guys, did you all ever…do anything?”
She stopped her hand from moving and looked at me with a bit more concern. “What do you mean?”
“Like…physical?”
“Why does it matter? We’re together baby, that’s all that matters,” she said, trying to reassure me and take my mind off the situation.
“I don’t know. I’m just curious. I guess I am just wondering if any other guys have kissed my future wife since we first started dating,” he chuckled weakly.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes…please.”
She looked at me for a minute as if contemplating what to say. “I mean…that’s what happens when you date someone, right? You kiss them, you cuddle, things happen.”
“So you’re saying things happened?”
“I guess.”
“How far?” he asked.
“What?”
“How far did you go?”
“With who?”
“Whoever. Whoever got the furthest.” I looked at her for a response but she didn’t budge. “Last time we broke up, did you kiss anyone? Be honest with me.”
She looked down, avoiding eye contact with me. “Yes.”
I put my on her face, and gently brought it back up so that they made eye contact. “Have you made out with other guys?”
“Yes.”
“With touching?”
“Yes.”
I started trembling ever so faintly. “Show me where other guys have touched you…”
She gave me a slightly confused look before grabbing my right hand and placing it on her hip. She leaned in and kissed me gently while scooting my hand down the small of her back onto her ass. Her eyes scanned mine intently, as if gauging my reaction. “Here…” she whispered into my ear, while grabbing my other hand and placing them both on her breasts, “and here.”
I was visibly shaking just a bit now. I felt almost nauseous. There was a nervous energy that was building up inside of me that I didn’t know how to control, or really what it meant. “Other guys have touched you there?”
She nodded.
“Over the clothes or under?”
“Honestly?” she asked.
“Please.”
“Both,” she said with a bit of a guilty look on her face.
I kissed her. “It’s okay baby, I just want to know.” She kissed me back. It was at that point that we both noticed that a certain part of my body had…grown a bit, and was not poking her in the side. She gently placed her hand over it, as if to keep it comfort.
“Okay,” she said, as if admitting defeat. Maybe her guard was dropping a bit and he could get more out of her. Whether or not that is a good thing is, of course, another question entirely.
“Did they touch you anywhere else?”
She used her other hand to guide my hand down the front of her thigh, where it rested. She looked up at me, again as if gauging my reaction, before sliding it down to her pussy. It seemed wet.
“Another guy fingered you?” I asked, feeling a bit betrayed.
“Yes.”
“Did anything else happen?”
She slowly began moving her other hand as my dick began to grow. “There were a few other things…” she said, barely above a whisper.
“Like what?”
“Are you sure you want to know this?” she asked, flashing me a serious look. All the while she had me in her hand, literally.
I paused briefly before answering yes.
“There may have been a few other guys who have had my hand on them like this.”
“A few?” I asked.
“I’ve dated a few guys other than you, honey. These things happen…”
I nodded, looking at her to continue.
“There might have been a time when I did something like this…” she lowered her mouth onto my cock, faintly kissing the tip while never breaking eye contact.
“Just like that?” I asked.
“Maybe a little more like this…” she said, running her tongue down the shaft and underneath my balls, sucking on them a bit before burying the shaft in her mouth, working her way up and down it a few times.
“You…you did that to another guy?”
Her lips broke contact with my dick and she looked up at me like a scuba diver coming up for air. She nodded slowly. “Are you okay baby?”
“Yes. Did…anything else happen?”
“What else could have happened, baby?” she asked, looking up at me with my dick in her hand, slowly stroking me.
“I don’t know…”
“Do you hope something else happened?”
“Why would I hope for that?”
“I don’t know, you tell me,” she smirked.
I tried as best I could to stifle a groan, but it escaped ever so faintly.
“Hmm…I wonder…”
She slowly worked my cock in her hand.
“What else…
Could have…
Happened.”
She emphasized the last word, letting it hang in the air before trailing off in a sultry whisper that made me jump.
“I mean…I guess I can think of something,” I said.
“Oh really? And do you think it’s something that your pretty little girlfriend would let some other guy do to her?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“What if something else did happen?” she said in just about the most innocent sounding voice I’ve ever heard her muster.
We both just sat there, silent in the moment, each of unsure of what to say next. There was an elephant in the room, and we were trying to figure out whether we wanted it there or not.
“Baby…I kinda wanna hear you say something. But I don’t want you to judge me, and I don’t want you to say it unless it is true,” I said, my voice quivering with hesitance.
“I understand,” she said. And I got the feeling that she really did understand.
I leaned forward. “I…I kinda want to hear you say that other guys have fucked you,” I whispered in her ear, barely audible.
“What?” she looked at me, confused.
Fuck. Maybe this was a mistake. Dammit, this whole damn thing was a mistake. This was all so weird and new and I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I just…I needed release. And I needed to know. Fuck it, I asked her again.
“Please don’t be mad…but there’s a part of me that kind of wants to hear you say that other guys have fucked you. Like, if things happened when we were on break or broken up…but I don’t want to force you to say anything that’s untrue,” I barely managed to choke out, just a hair above the volume of the previous request.
She looked at me for a moment before looking down at my cock, and then back up to me. She leaned forward and looked me right in the eyes. “Baby…other guys have fucked me.”
I exploded in her hand.
I’ll admit, the next couple of days were a tad confusing. Truth be told, neither of us knew exactly what to make of the other night.
Because of this, we’d been avoiding one another. Well, at least as much as you can avoid a person who inhabits the same household as you. But really, it wasn’t so much that we avoided one another – we still kissed each other hello and goodbye, we still slept in the same bed and all that jazz – but really, we were avoiding the conversation. Avoiding any moments of awkward, potentially intimate silence that would bring on the dreaded conversation about what had happened.
This may have contributed to some of the fights in recent memory. I’ve got to make another confession: there was a certain level of distrust that I had for her now that I hadn’t felt in some time. But also, a sense of guilt, like I was the one that brought it upon myself. I, after all, was the one who asked the questions. Can’t help the fact that I didn’t like the answer that was given. Also, I had failed to ask the questions earlier, when they really mattered (i.e when we first got back together or even when we were apart.)
There was something else, of course. The looming, unspoken (even within the confines of my thoughts, as I tried desperately to push it out of existence) fact that I enjoyed hearing what Summer had to say the other night. Maybe a level of distrust had been added, but so too had a certain level of excitement. I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t understand some of the images that swam around in my mind now. Visions of Summer…doing certain things. Certain, unmentionable things – with people other than myself.
I shook awake from my daydream. I had to talk to her. I had to put an end to this.
Later that night when we were getting ready for bed I saw my opportunity. It wasn’t really my intention to leave it for that late, but the truth of the matter is that I had been putting it off all night.
“Babe?”
She poked her head out of the bathroom momentarily and looked at me as if to say ‘what’s up?’
“I was thinking about the other night,” I told her.
Silence. Then I heard the faucet turn on. She finished rinsing out her mouth and then walked over to me, tossing her arms around my neck. “I’m sorry baby…”
“Huh?”
“I’m sorry for the other night. I’m sorry, honey” She kissed me and then leaned back on the bed. I stood over her, confused.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so nosey. I don’t know what came over me,” I sat down next to her, rubbing my forehead.
“It’s okay, I forgive you,” she laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.
I put my hand over hers. “You were being serious, though. Weren’t you?”
She looked away.
“All this time, I thought I was the only guy that had ever been with you…” I leaned back and my head flopped down on my pillow.
“Baby, I love you. You’re the only guy for me,” she crawled up next to me and kissed me gently.
“Have you ever cheated on me?” I asked, frowning up at her.
“I…
*smooch*
Love…
*smooch*
You.”
She stared at me, her hands on my chest. She brushed hair out of my eyes and behind my ear. “You’re my handsome boy. You’re stuck with me, mister,” she laughed, stroking my hair. “Don’t you go trying to get out of this, now. It’s too late.” She smiled.
I kissed her back and then went for a hug, pulling her close.
“You’re trembling, baby. Are you okay?” she asked.
I nodded and kissed her, still holding her close. I looked at her and opened my mouth, but then thought better of it.
“What are you thinking about, baby?”
“Was…was it more than one guy, that you…you know?”
She looked at me for a moment before kissing me fiercely. She slipped me some tongue and we started making out. Her hand rubbed my groin before sneaking its way into my boxers and pulling something out. She kissed my neck and nibbled my ear before taking both of our shirts off and throwing them onto the floor. Next came the pants. She took my hand and guided it down to her pussy. “Look how wet you’ve made me,” she whispered, instructing my fingers on what to do.
She climbed on top and took my cock, which was already in her hand, and guided it to where my fingers were to feel her wetness.
“Do we have condoms?” I asked.
She responded by sitting on it. I let out an uncontrollable groan and bucked my hips upwards. She took both of my hands and placed them on my hips.
“Let’s see how long you can last in this pussy…” she smiled down at me, before leaning forward and whispering into my ear. “Don’t cum in me baby…I’ll make you cum after, I promise.”
She sat back up and started riding me. Her rhythmic motions had me hypnotized as she went up and down on my cock.
“Yeah…you like that shit?” she asked.
I looked up at her perfect body, bouncing up and down. I bucked my hips wildly against her, holding her own hips for leverage. She pushed me back down, putting me flat on my back.
“Shh, just let it happen,” she whispered, taking both of my hands into hers and then pinning them above my head, flat on the bed. “You like that, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“You like getting fucked? You like the way this pussy feels, huh?”
I nodded.
“Say it.”
“I like the way your pussy feels,” I told her.
She moaned. “Yeah, that’s it. Good boy,” she continued to bounce on me while I squirmed underneath her, trying to hold still. “Don’t lie, you fucking love that shit, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I know you do,” she laughed. “I bet I could have you jumping through hoops for this pussy, huh?”
“Fuck…”
“You’re lucky I’m such a nice girl. Nice enough to let you get a taste of this…”
“Yeah,” I closed my eyes in an attempt to focus on not cumming.
“Oh…oh, yeah, take that shit. Mmm…let me use that dick…I’m almost there.”
I was so close. At that moment I would have given anything to cum inside her. If she would have kept it up much longer, I’d have been a goner.
“I’m cumming…baby, I’m cumming!” she moaned.
She bounced ferociously on my cock for the next few thrusts before collapsing onto me with a sigh. She kissed me. “That was…fun. How about we take care of you, huh?” she smiled, sliding off of me. She lay next to me, my cock in her hand, and started playing with it.
“What’s gotten into you?” I asked, still shaking from the intensity of that session.
“I don’t know…all sorts of things,” she bit her lip innocently.
“Uh…fuck. Baby, can you slow down a bit?”
“Why?” she asked, slowing her pace.
“I just…you never answered my question earlier.”
“Your question?”
“Yeah.”
“You mean the one where you wanted to know how many guys have fucked me?”
“Uhh…shit. Yeah”
She giggled. “A girl never tells…”
I looked up at her with a mixture of lust, jealousy, and confusion.
“But if you must know…” she lowered herself to my ear once again. “You’re not the only guy to get a piece of this. And neither was the next guy.”
“Uhh…” I momentarily moved my hips against her before catching myself. My pelvis slowly started rocking. I couldn’t help myself.
“Hmm, I guess you’re not too upset,” she chuckled.
“Fuck…did you ever do what you just did to me?”
“What? Ride them?”
I nodded.
She smirked. “Not…uhh…not quite like that. It was a little different.”
“How?”
“Why do you wanna know, baby? What’s got you so…curious,” she said, stopping.
I squirmed and bucked against her.
“Hmm…I think you might be enjoying this a bit too much, baby.”
A pang of guilt crept over me. I looked away.
She got right up in my face, softly kissing my neck. “You like thinking about it?”
I groaned and gave her a very slight, almost imperceptible nod.
“What do you like thinking about, baby? About what other guys have done to me…about what I’ve done to them?” she was breathing heavy. I looked down and she was touching herself.
She started playing with my cock again. “Does it bother you that other guys have fucked me?”
I didn’t answer.
“That other guys have gotten their dicks in places that you thought only you had been?”
“Fuck…”
“Hmm…you don’t seem to mind, baby.” She smiled.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything, baby.”
“Have you ever touched one that was…”
“That was what, baby?”
“Bigger?”
“Bigger than what?”
“Me?”
“You want to know if I’ve had cocks that were bigger than yours? Is that it?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?”
“Yes.”
“I have…”
“Really? Or are you just saying that because…you know.”
“Really,” she whispered.
We both came.
If I wasn’t confused before, I most definitely was now.
I couldn’t help but feel like the other night had been a catalyst for me to slowly lose any semblance of control over my life and, more importantly, my relationship.
My trust for Summer was in question. This wasn’t the first time we’ve had trust issues, but it was the first time I had any sort of confirmation that my mind wasn’t just playing tricks on me. She’s always had guy friends while we were dating. Like any loving boyfriend, I was weary of them.
I had trusted her up to this point – for the most part.
The simple fact of the matter is that she is a bold, attractive, intelligent, and sometimes rather flirtatious woman and she knows it. There wasn’t a time that we broke up that I wasn’t constantly reminded of this fact. Understandably, I had been worried.
But now – now I didn’t quite know what to think. My worst fears had been confirmed: she had been with other guys during our breaks.
Should I be angry? I was – at least a little bit. But did I have the right to be? After all, if we weren’t together, isn’t that sort of thing fair game?
I’m not sure anger was the predominant feeling. Confused? Frustrated? Something else entirely…
Cold water splashed over me as I rubbed my eyes, staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Our little “game” had opened up so many new questions: every answer I received lead way to another. There were so many friends of hers over the years that I now found myself wondering about. The little things that used to make me jealous or annoy me back in the day suddenly seemed much bigger; like they suddenly had the potential to be something more. Things that had caused distrust before now swelled.
Every moment that she had spent talking to Matt on the phone came back to haunt me. “We’re just friends, baby. You have nothing to worry about,” I remember her saying. Each trip to the mall with Brandon resurfaced and bugged me 100 times more than it had originally. Wasn’t there a guy named John she used to talk to? Maybe a Peter?
Hmm. I suppose there’s always been some level of suspicion. But at the end of the day I had always pretty much trusted her. Her word was always good enough, no matter what feelings of jealousy, worry, or reluctance had filled my heart.
But now – now I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of all the possibilities. So many things that could have happened over the years: things that she could have done; things that could have been done to her.
I shivered.
What happened? Who with?
She had been with other guys – a reality that I had not thought possible just a mere few weeks ago. Those “breaks” had not been quite as innocent as they seemed. But who exactly had she been with? Did I know any of them? And when exactly did things get started?
I guess I couldn’t help but wonder if any of them predated our breakups in any way. It was unfair of me to think that. She had given me no reason to think her unfaithful, but my mind was unrelentingly playing tricks on me.
Really, I shouldn’t have been thinking that way at all. It was, after all, my idea to ask her the questions. She hadn’t revealed anything malicious, just things that changed my perception of her. I suppose that’s no crime. Maybe I’d had a picture of her in my mind that was not synced up with reality. Yeah, that might have been it. I thought of her as being this sweet, innocent girl who only had eyes for me. Which is silly, really. Her sex drive had always been high; significantly higher than mine, truth be told. I shouldn’t be surprised that she has desires like everyone else. That’s normal. Wow, now that I think about it, I was a bit naïve – maybe even borderline stupid regarding the whole scenario.
But I couldn’t help it.
My mind was wandering. Swimming with countless thoughts, questions, and hypothetical scenarios. They ate away at me. I hated them. I loved them. They were all I could think about.
It was this way for a few weeks. Our lives appeared to be mostly normal. But on the inside, I knew that everything was different. We didn’t talk about what was different. We ignored it, other than the occasional pillow talk.
“I want to hear you say it.”
“Say what?” she mocked.
“Please.”
“Say what, baby? What do you want to hear me say?”
“Please – please tell me what happened with — I want to know how –”
“You wanna hear me say that I’ve fucked other guys? You know I did — it’s not a secret. But you want to know more, huh? Hmm, what reason could you possibly have for wanting to know the exact details of how other guys have gotten inside…this?
Maybe you should stop asking questions, babe. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about how other guys have slammed this pussy…do you?”
No real conversations about it. Just the occasional mention while fooling around in one another’s unmentionables. Each time I walked away thinking about it more and more.
I felt guilty. Guilty for asking for it and then subsequently being mad about it. Guilty for not trusting her when she hadn’t truly given me a reason to distrust her. Most of all, guilty for kind of…liking it.
Spent a lot of time the last week or two just trying to be closer to her. She’s been busy a lot. Went up to her job a few times recently, and in a room full of hot, scantily clad women, she always proves to be the hottest. There was no doubt in my mind that I was the luckiest man alive.
Every time I walked in I felt the eyes of her co-workers on me. Eyes that said “That’s the guy that’s dating her? Really?” I felt it. And they weren’t wrong.
“Oh, hey Charles. Didn’t see you there.”
“Hey Sarah, could you get Summer for me?”
The two of them had worked together for years now, dating back to their days spent at Applebee’s. We all went to the same high school. I didn’t know her that well until I started dating Summer. We ran in different crowds. She had soft, pale skin that contrasted with her midnight black hair. If I wasn’t dating Summer, I’d have had a hard time not staring at her voluptuous curves.
“She’s not here. Think she went to go study.”
“Oh, okay. Any idea where at?”
“I’m not sure. Think her phone might be dead, so you might have a hard time reaching her.”
“Why wouldn’t she text me and let me know? I figured we might go out to eat or something after she got off.”
“I don’t know? What do I look like, her mother?” she said, folding silverware. “Maybe she doesn’t want to go eat with you, you ever think about that? Maybe there’s a book she needs to check out from the library that you can’t give her.”
“What the hell are you talking about? The library’s not even fucking open,” I shook my head, turning out the door. I never did much like Sarah.
When I pulled into the apartment complex I was hoping to see her car there: it wasn’t. Decided it might be a good idea for me to get some studying in, too, but I was having a difficult time concentrating, so naturally I gravitated towards Netflix and ended up flopping on the couch.
I heard the door open and shut and realized that I had passed out for a bit. Instinctively I looked up at the clock only to realize that my glasses had fallen off – instead I reached for my phone and saw that it was almost 3 AM.
“Where have you been?” I turned over, propping myself up on the edge of the couch.
“Hanging out with Sarah. Did you have a good day at school?”
I must have shot her some type of look without even realizing it. She arched her eyebrows briefly before letting out a quick sigh. “Well, we were supposed to hang out, but something came up and she couldn’t.”
“Okay. So what’d you end up doing that took you so long to get home?”
“You know how it is. I hate late nights as much as you do, babe.”
“I went up to your work around – I don’t know, 11:45, midnight? You weren’t there. Sarah said you went to go study.” I crossed my arms and gave her what I hoped was a stern look. I was starting to get pissed off.
“I did. I did go and study,” she leaned forward, giving me a kiss. I let her, but didn’t kiss back.
“I don’t understand.”
“Everything’s fine. Relax,” she settled onto the couch beside me, laying her head on my chest.
“Summer, everything’s not fine. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
She lifted her head from my chest and narrowed her eyes at me, now shooting me a stern look of her own.
“Everything is fine. I have classes just as much as you do. Just because I don’t go to a big fancy school like you doesn’t mean I don’t have to study. You think I want to work at Hooters for the rest of my fucking life?”
“I – no, I just don’t get why you are telling me that you were hanging out with Sarah when I know for a fact that you weren’t, and then you try to blame you coming home late on the restaurant – I don’t get it.”
“It’s been a long day, and I don’t need to play a game of twenty-one questions as soon as I walk through the fucking door. Can you understand that, Charles?”
I looked at her, not knowing what to say.
“Now can you just drop it? I’m tired and I really need to get a shower.”
I nodded and she slipped out of her clothes and into the shower. As much as I tried to stay mad at her, I couldn’t help but follow her in there not even five minutes later.
“I’m sorry,” I told her, wrapping my arms around her from behind.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.”
We almost made it out of the shower without getting after each other. She ended up riding me on the bathroom floor that night.
We went to bed afterward. Or at least I did, anyway. Before I could fall asleep I spent a fair amount of time trying to drown out the glow from her phone’s screen as she sat awake on her side.
That wasn’t the only night I spent up at her job that week, nor was it the only fight we got into. This time she made sure I told her beforehand that I was going to visit in order to avoid me missing her like last time. I went and got myself a table while she finished up her shift. We were going to go out after she got off, so I tried not to eat too much. Mostly tossed back a couple Yuenglings while picking at some curly fries.
“Just a little longer. My high-top just cashed out and I’ve only got you and Terrence left. Sarah’s gonna help me finish up my side work so I can get out of here early tonight,” she leaned forward and gave me a smooch on the cheek.
She snuck off and presumably went to go work on the necessary things for her to be able to clock out as I sat there and occasionally nibbled at my food like I was some sort of fucking bunny rabbit. I looked over and her other table was gone: I figured we might be out of here soon. And I was right. She came back around the corner after a bit with Sarah. Sneaking up behind them was Terrence, who snapped her in the behind with a rolled up towel.
“You fucker!” she giggled.
“Please tell me that’s how you two study,” Sarah laughed.
“Not quite. I could show you how, baby girl,” his voice was deep and booming.
“Heh, you wish,” Sarah smirked at him while placing her arm around Summer.
Terrence went back to the kitchen and the two girls made their way over to me.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“That’s Terrence. He’s the new dishwasher. He’s a big flirt, all the girls have a crush on him,” Sarah explained to me.
“Not all of them,” Summer nudged her, giggling.
“Well, that’s great,” I laughed sarcastically.
“Have you figured out where you want to go eat yet?”
“I know I made you wait all this time, but I’m really not too hungry babe. I’ve still got a lot of stuff to finish. Would you be mad if I just meet you at home in a bit?”
I tried not to look too disappointed. She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.
“I love you. It’ll just be a bit. I promise I’ll make it worth your wait,” she nibbled my ear gently.
“Okay. I’ll see at home then, I guess.”
“Don’t be mad. I’ll miss you.”
I sighed. “I’ll miss you too.”
Can’t remember what time she got home that night. I’d had a few more beers by then and had passed out while reading a book in bed. I woke up to the image of her draped in a towel, straddled over me, kissing me fiercely while lowering herself onto me.
“Take it. Take it, baby. Take that fucking pussy.”
As much as I loved spending time at her job, I was starting to feel a bit awkward there. I guess that comes with the territory when you are a boyfriend spending a lot of time up at your girlfriend’s workplace. You don’t really belong there. Technically I’m a paying customer that is spending money, but at the same time just by virtue of being there so often means I have a bit of a propensity to get in the way.
One night when I went up there Summer was too busy with other tables so I ended up getting stuck with Sarah as my server. She seemed thrilled.
“Back again, huh?”
“Yep. You know — can’t get enough of those wings.”
“Well, try not to choke on the bone,” she winked at me.
“It doesn’t bother her that I’m spending so much time up here, does it? I just feel like we aren’t seeing each other enough. Our schedules are completely different at the moment.”
She shrugged. “You’d have to ask her. I would’ve thought you’d be the one bothered by coming in here all the time, seeing other men ogling all over your pretty little girlfriend and all while she’s wearing those short shorts. None of my boyfriends liked the idea of me working here too much. I guess you don’t mind.”
“I mean – I’m not thrilled about it, but it is what it is.”
“The usual to drink?”
“Sure.”
She came back a few moments later with a beer for me. A glutton for punishment, I decided to order the hottest wings on the menu that night. Went through a fair amount of beer washing them back that evening. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. But I remember it ending a bit similar to the other night. Eventually Summer came and checked on me. She told me it’d only be a bit longer. Me and Terrence were the only two tables left: I guess his shift must have ended. He just had a water, but I guess he must have been thinking about ordering something else, because she spent a fair amount of time over at his table.
“It looks like Summer is finally making some new friends at work. I’m – I’m glad. She doesn’t get out as much as she should. Neither of us do, really.”
“Yeah, they are getting along great,” Sarah responded.
After a while I realized I wasn’t exactly sure how many Yuenglings I had knocked back. As much as I like to drink, I’m still a bit of a lightweight. Summer recognized this and decided that I wasn’t fit to drive home. I’d like to think I’d have had the clarity of mind to recognize this myself, but regardless, she was right.
“I don’t have the Uber app on my phone. Can someone request one for me and I’ll give you cash?”
“Don’t worry about it. Sarah said she can take you home while I close up.”
“Can’t you take me home?”
“You don’t want to wait that long, do you babe? It’s still gonna be a while. I don’t think you’re in much shape to go out after this. I’ll bring you home some food.”
I kissed her goodbye and Sarah drove me home. It was the first time I had ever been in her car, she drove a black Honda accord – not sure which year. I don’t remember all that much from the car ride to be honest, other than the fact that she speeds, is a horrible driver, and blasts the music like she is a fucking wannabe DJ.
She pulled into the apartment complex and swung into a parking spot right in front of my unit.
“You trust her, don’t you?”
“Of course,” I replied shakily, tasting the booze on my own breath.
“I was wrong about you. You’re a good boyfriend.”
“Thanks Sarah, that means a lot coming from you.”
“You’re not mad about her spending so much time with Terrence, are you?”
“I – I mean it’s just work, right?”
“Yeah. They’ve been working a lot, you know. He’s the new guy. She’s gotta show him the ropes.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s okay.”
“You’re okay if she spends a little time tutoring him off-the-clock, aren’t you? I bet you don’t mind at all.”
“What are you getting at?”
She leaned forward. “Be honest. It doesn’t bother you that your girlfriend’s a little slut, does it?”
Her words punched me in the gut. What the fuck is this bitch going on about?
I felt her lips press against mine. Confused, I didn’t kiss back, but I also didn’t have the presence of mind to fight her off. Her hand slipped over the bulge that had formed in the front of my khakis.
She broke away from the kiss and her hazel eyes found mine. She smirked, “That’s what I thought.” She looked at me intensely, licking her lips. She leaned forward as if to kiss me again, only to stop less than an inch away from my face. “You wish.”
She unlocked my door and let me out. I stumbled inside before flopping on the couch, utterly flabbergasted by what had just happened.
What the fuck was going on? My thoughts were obscured by the poison that was running through my veins. Had I enough mind to get up and grab some water or grab something to eat, it likely would have helped. Instead my mind spiraled through everything that had just happened, through everything that had been happening for the last month or so, as I attempted to make sense of my reality. Still, all I could feel was the weight of the alcohol and the adrenaline rush of anger that was now slowly coursing through my body.
I probably should have passed out, but I couldn’t. Instead, I found myself waiting for Summer to get home.
She did eventually. Against my better judgement I went ahead and attacked her immediately.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
“Is everything okay?” she walked right past me and into the bedroom.
“Oh, I don’t know. You tell me?”
She emerged from the room with another shirt before setting it aside on the coffee table, her back towards me. “Tell you about what, babe?”
“Hmm. Let me see. Is there something you want to tell me about, I don’t know, maybe you and Terrence?”
“Nothing I can think of,” she raised her work shirt over her head and tossed it across the room before wiggling out of her shorts.
Fuck…
She turned around to face me. Her smooth, tan skin was now only covered by bra and panties. She looked so damn good.
Fuck. Focus. I shook my head.
“That’s strange. You seem to be spending an awful lot of time with him.”
“So?”
“I just – do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Why do you think?” I responded fiercely.
“Beats me,” she shrugged.
“Do you think this is a game? Because it’s not.”
“You sure?”
“Summer, I’m not fucking playing! I need to know. I need to know right now. Tell me what happened.”
She sat down next to me on the couch and put her hand on mine. I was shaking.
“Tell me about the car ride home,” she said.
“Huh?”
“How was your ride home? Sarah took you home, didn’t she?”
“I – uhh – it was fine. But that’s beside the point. I know something’s going on with you and Terrence.”
“Was it worth it?”
“Huh?”
“Kissing her? Was it worth it?”
“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Don’t play. I know, baby. I know you kissed her. She told me.”
“No – no it’s not like that at all. I didn’t – ”
“Did you like it? Maybe you’d rather kiss her from now on?”
“I didn’t – you’ve gotta listen to –”
“So let me get this straight,” she put my hand in both of hers, looking directly into my eyes. What were once endless blue oceans had become icy cold daggers that penetrated my heart. “You show up to my job and get so drunk that you can’t drive home, all before I’m ready to leave. My best friend generously offers you a ride home so that I don’t lose my job, during which your drunk ass decides it would be a good idea to kiss her. After a long day’s work, I get home, stressed as hell and ready to enjoy a nice, long, hot shower, but instead I’m immediately attacked by what I thought was my loving, faithful, trusting boyfriend and accused of cheating.
That is what this is, right? You’re accusing me of cheating on you with Terrence while you’re busy making out with my best friend? Is that it?”
If Sarah’s words from earlier had punched me in the gut, these straight up knocked the wind out of me and left me for dead. I didn’t know how to respond.
“How long have we been dating? You’re supposed to trust me, Charles. I’m supposed to be able to trust you,” she lowered her tone, giving me a look of concern.
“I – I’m sorry.” I must have been drunker than I thought.
“You need to start trusting me if we are going to make this work.”
I nodded.
“I know you. I know what you want – what you need. Let me help you, baby. Let me help us.”
Her arms pulled me in as I hugged her. Tears filled my eyes but I tried to fight them.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay baby. These things happen.”
She kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes. The ice had melted. A gentle smile warmed her face.
“You’ve got to start thinking about what I want too. Okay? You’re not the only one that goes to school and works and is trying to make us work. I’ve got needs, baby. Just like you. I’ve got needs,” she whispered into my ear.
“I’m sorry. I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said.
The tension in the air had been thick and heavy like smog on a hot summer day, but it quickly began to dissipate. I breathed deeply for the first time in what felt like hours, exhaling loudly as I slumped back into the couch.
She leaned forward and kissed me. A peck on the lips. She looked me dead in the eyes and smiled. Her lips met mine again; another peck. She looked at me and slowly bit her lip. A third kiss revealed a bit more tongue. Her left hand guided mine to the front of her bra. Her right hand found its way to my belt buckle.
“Let me help you feel better, baby. Let me put your mind at ease,” she said as she worked my cock out.
I sighed. There was no way I was about to fight her on that one.
Moments ago we were having one of the worst fights of our relationship. During that time, my life felt like it was going to be over. I felt hopeless.
It was just a short time later, but now I had the most beautiful girl in the world with my dick in her hand. Life is crazy.
“Shh…that’s it. Everything’s gonna be okay,” she cooed into my ear while stroking me.
I looked at her in complete ecstasy. I had a lot of…stuff pent up inside.
“There you go. You like that?”
“Yes,” I told her.
“Good boy. You know, I can’t believe you think that I would do something like that…what kind of a girl do you think I am?”
“I –”
“Shh, it’s okay. I don’t blame you. You can’t help but think of what other guys might want do to your hot girlfriend, can you?”
I nearly jumped back with surprise. My dick grew and she giggled.
“Do you really think there are other guys out there that want to do things to you?”
She laughed. “I know there are other guys that want to do things to me, baby. I don’t blame you for thinking that me and Terrence could have done something…I bet he wishes he was fucking me right now.”
“Why – why do you say that?”
“I just have a feeling…” she started touching herself. “I mean, who wouldn’t want this? Don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed. There are a lot of guys out there that want what you have, baby.”
I shuddered.
“You know. You know how lucky you are to get a little taste of this pussy,” she whispered.
“Are you…mad at me?” I asked.
“It’s okay. I don’t blame you for kissing Sarah. She’s a hot little thing…I’d probably be kissing her right now if I could without getting in trouble,” she winked.
“Woah. Really?”
“You don’t think I could have resisted playing with a little bit of pussy during one of our breaks, do you? Oh…you like that. You wouldn’t mind if I got into just a little bit of trouble every once in awhile, huh?”
“Oh…”
“You don’t mind that I did a little bit of experimenting? I know you too have never really got along. I don’t think she likes you too much…
But that’s okay. You probably like the idea of us making out and her touching me, right? I mean, why wouldn’t you? I wonder if it would bother if I told you that she eats pussy better than you do.”
My dick twitched and a moan escaped my lips.
“Guess not,” she laughed.
I pulled away, holding her hand.
“What’s wrong, baby?” she asked.
“Nothing. I was just…wondering about something.”
“What is it?”
“Did you and Matt ever…”
“You can’t let that go, can you?”
“I just – when you two were talking all the time, I always thought he was kind of into you.”
“You think so?” she started slowly stroking me again.
“I don’t know. I was wondering if you two ever…you know? Maybe while we were on break?”
“You were so sure he was always trying to get in my pants, weren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I laughed.
“You were right, babe.”
…
“He definitely wanted in these pants. What if I let him get in them?”
“Uhh…” my dick sprang back to life.
“What if I let him get in me?”
“Shit…I don’t know…”
“Do you want to hear about how he fucked me?”
“I – I don’t know.”
“I think you do. You know, I think you like hearing about me with other guys…”
“No…”
“I think you’d like hearing about how Matt pushed me down on his bed. Wouldn’t you?”
“No.”
“Hmm, I guess I’ll stop then,” she took her hand off my dick and sat back as she began playing with herself.
A plethora of alcohol, hormones, and wild, uncontrollable thoughts raced throughout my body, each pulling me in different directions. Shaking, I crawled towards her end of the couch and kissed her, pulling her hand back onto my dick.
“Please.”
“Please what?”
“Finish…”
She started playing with me again as she stared at me in complete silence.
I practically humped her hand, moaning. “Please…”
“Was there something else you wanted?”
“Tell me about it?”
“Tell you about what, babe?”
“Oh…oh please. Baby, I want to hear it.”
“You want to hear about how Matt fucked me? Is that it?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you can handle hearing about how he made your pretty little girlfriend suck his cock? About how he bent me over and made me take that big dick of his?”
“Oh…oh…oh my god.”
“Hmm baby, I haven’t even told you if we were on break yet. For all you know you might be mad at the end of this story…”
“You didn’t…”
“I’m just teasing, baby. But you don’t seem to mind,” I felt her smile drag against the back of my neck as she kissed me.
“Oh fuck! Baby?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something that – I don’t know, might seem a little weird?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“I’m sorry for accusing you of sleeping with Terrence – but I was just wondering…
have you ever been with a black guy before?”
She smirked. “Well, there was this one time…”
“Really?”
“We went out to his car and some things happened. One thing lead to another and he ended up getting me in his backseat. Hmm…what sort of things do you think we could have been up to back there?”
“I…fuck…I don’t know.”
“Oh, you know, baby. You know what he did to me back there, don’t you?”
I groaned.
3…
“What are you thinking about, baby?”
She began stroking me faster.
2…
“Are you thinking about me getting fucked by a black guy in the backseat of his car? Because that’s what I’m thinking about,” she moaned. Her hand had found her pussy again.
“Where? Where did it happen?” I barely managed to mutter.
1…
“In the parking lot, after work…”
Blast off.