The situation was all too familiar. Sat on the sofa, watching TV, my girlfriend, Emma, lay with her legs across my lap. I’d been harbouring the most sordid of fantasies for a number of years now. Oh, it took me a long time to recognise it, almost as long to accept it. To embrace it. The truth of it was plain to me now, however. I would love to see Emma fuck someone else.
I’d plummeted the depths of this fantasy. Ploughed a lone furrow across the world wide web in an effort to squeeze out every last drop. And yet it was the gift that kept on giving. A phase I assumed I would grow out of, but never quite managed it. Alone, when my mind drifted, I would grasp my rampant member and dream of the ways in which Emma might offer herself to another. Twisted distortions of reality, one and all. The prospect of her being roughly taken in a shadowy alley, coming home with a semen-saturated vagina, before playfully confessing her recklessness was remote indeed. It fed my insatiable fantasy, however. I realised that if this were ever to become reality, it would manifest itself quite differently. There would need to be a discussion. Baby steps. And quite frankly, I expected that she wouldn’t even entertain the idea. While not a prude, exactly, Emma wasn’t the most forthcoming woman I’d ever been with. I was terrified of broaching the subject. Of causing irreparable damage to our six year relationship.
We didn’t talk about sex. Only on very rare occasions, but generally our love-making was done on a weekend morning after a slightly awkward twenty minute game of cat and mouse comprised of subtle looks and touches, but with no vocal element. I loved her dearly, and I loved having sex with her, but I think even she would admit that it was only a fraction of what it could be if either of us had any sort of sexual confidence. That sexual confidence had to come from me, I knew. She wasn’t entirely devoid of it, but she’d need a pretty big nudge in the right direction. There had been glimpses; a hot sexual encounter in an alley when we first started dating, the odd suggestive comment or crudely placed hand when we were drunk. However, the next day it was always as though none of it had ever happened. No discussion to coax out what she liked about it, or if she’d like to try anything else.
How then, was I supposed to bring up the topic of my fantasy without it looking like a complete bolt from the blue? This was something I’d agonised over time and again, and I’d reached no satisfactory answer. The reality was that I was probably going to stumble over the details and it would come out in a ridiculous, unintelligible mess. I could at least start with something that I’d said to her before.
Looking down at her, I patted her leg. ‘You look nice today by the way. Is this a new outfit?’ I plucked at the sleeve of her black blouse, but my eyes and thoughts were on the grey pencil skirt hugging her thighs. She always liked to look good, put a lot of effort into her doing do. Of course, she was never satisfied and had a number of insecurities about her physical appearance. Something I’d tried to allay over the years, with a little success. Emma was the stereotypical ‘hot but she doesn’t know it’ type.
She looked up at me, and as expected, there was a hint of awkwardness in those big brown eyes. ‘Thanks. Yeah, I grabbed a few things at the weekend.’
Oh what I would give for her to laugh at me, call me a pervert. Tease me a little. It was never going to happen. This is where the exchange would usually die, a silent resumption of television watching, and it would be like the compliment had never happened. The very situation I was determined to avoid tonight. And so I did something I’d never done. I asked a further question.
‘So was it well received?’
She’d already gone back to looking at the TV, but she cocked her neck and glanced back up at me with a confused frown. ‘Huh? Was what well received?’
‘Your outfit.’
‘Well received? What are you talking about?’
I felt about six inches tall at this point as my efforts threatened to run aground before really beginning. ‘Your outfit.’ I wanted to ask if anyone checked her out, but that was too overt. ‘Did anyone else compliment you on it?’
She laughed a bit. That was something at least. ‘At work? No, don’t you think that would be a bit inappropriate?’
I shrugged. ‘Well, maybe not if it was one of the girls. But I can see you assumed I was talking about one of the guys. Something you want to tell me?’ I gave her a nudge with my knee that was underneath her and forced a smile to hopefully provide some reassurance that I was joking.
She pouted a little in mock hurt. Good. ‘No. Another largely uneventful day. Just glad it’s Friday.’ She brought the wine up to her lips and drained the glass, handing it to me without looking. There was a little smile on her face, the way there always was when she put on the princess act. I filled her up and handed it back to her. That grin was still there. ‘You’re welcome,’ I muttered, flicking her calf on my lap.
I had to press this further. I hadn’t scared her off thus far, though in truth I hadn’t really done anything. There was an awfully long way to go. I coughed, looking at the TV. ‘So, no-one checking you out? Maybe not at work. Maybe on the train or something?’ I tried to keep my tone casual, conversational.
It didn’t work. Maybe it wasn’t the tone. Maybe it was because I’d never asked her anything of this nature in over six years of being together. Her head whipped round with a confused frown. ‘What? Where did that come from?’
I was immediately on the back foot. This wasn’t going well at all. I instinctively put my hands up in defence. ‘No, nothing.’ I had a hole to dig myself out of now, and so I tried to keep it light. ‘I was just teasing you, that’s all. I didn’t mean anything by it. You must know you get checked out, right? I mean, I see guys doing it, so you must notice it too.’
If she could have managed it, she would have curled up into a ball as he raised a series of defences. It was like the walls of Babylon down at the other end of the sofa. ‘What? Well, yeah, but so what? It’s mostly gross and pervy, and irrelevant, because I’m with you.’
I rested a hand gently on her leg, below the knee, feeling her soft flinch. ‘I know, I know. But just relax. I’m not trying to trap you or trick you. I’m just… We never talk about this stuff.’ I looked away, not feeling able to voice the word sex. ‘I was just curious about what you thought about it. Nothing more.’
She still looked suspicious. ‘Yeah, well I told you.’
‘And you said it was mostly gross. Does that mean there are times when it isn’t?’
She squirmed, looked away. Her face flushed. She was uncomfortable for sure, but I was convinced there was something there if I persisted. ‘Come on, we’re not really doing this are we?’ she protested.
‘Not if you really don’t want to. But it might be interesting, or even fun.’
A long exhalation. ‘Fine. Yes, sometimes it’s nice to be looked at. But wipe that stupid smile off your face. That shouldn’t be news to you. I’m sure you like it too when girls check you out.’
I arched an eyebrow at her and let out a low laugh. ‘Well I can’t remember the last time that happened, but in theory, I agree with you.’
‘Exactly.’
‘This isn’t an argument, you know. Drop the angry face.’ I received a glare for that, but there was at least some playfulness there. ‘So you like guys getting an eyeful of your behind, you like turning a few heads. Nothing wrong with that.’
She kicked her leg at me in frustration. ‘No, that’s the gross bit.’
I decided my usual slightly teasing, lighthearted approach might not be the best way to tackle this issue, and so I swtiched to something more serious. ‘Okay, I know. I get it, I think. You like the reassurance of an admiring glance in your direction. Because I have to say you’re hot; I’m your boyfriend. When someone else does it, well, they’re not biased, right?’
There was still some squirming and she was reluctant to meet my gaze, but eventually there was a small nod. ‘Something like that, yes.’
‘And I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that you’re not keen on admitting that to me. Why is that?’
‘Because you’re my boyfriend. And it’s other guys.’
‘So? I’m not going to dump you for being human.’
‘Yeah, but there are some things that should remain unspoken. It’s some sort of unwritten rule, right?’
This was good. This was progress. A window into what made her tick, even if it was the fact that she was closed. ‘Perhaps. But we’re talking about it, and it’s fine, isn’t it? I trust you, one hundred per cent. But you know that already. I was just curious.’
‘Why? Why do you want to know so much about it?’
‘I don’t want to know so much about it. I just wanted to know if you liked it. Like, if it was a bit of a thing for you or not.’
‘Why would it be a thing? What sort of woman do you think I am?’ She was getting defensive now, veering towards anger. I needed to quench this, and fast.
‘No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just that you always dress nicely. I thought there might be something in it. If you’re saying there isn’t, then it’s fine.’
‘Something in it? What are you walking about? Where has all this come from? I don’t understand.’
I leaned back on the sofa, looked at the ceiling in consternation for a moment. Swinging my gaze back around to meet hers, I sighed. It was time to explain myself, a little at least. ‘Look, I know you love me, and I hope you know I love you too. But… well, there’s the sex.’ I’m scared to push on, and the way she drops her gaze to her navel, I know instantly that we’re on the same page. ‘You agree then. Good. So what do we do about it? Well I don’t have all or indeed any of the answers there, so that’s where this has come from. I was just seeing if there was anything else that made you tick. I was trying to be subtle, I guess.’
When she looked back at me now, there was a well of emotions writ across her face. Sympathy, understanding, and barely restrained fear. ‘You know you can talk to me about that sort of thing though.’
‘But that’s the thing, Em, isn’t it? I’d say the same thing to you, and yet we never talk about it. Look, I get it. I’ve kind of accepted you’re not going to come to me with this, so I was trying to give you a nudge, see if anything came of it.’
‘Sorry.’ A muted apology as she looked at her legs. She looked close to tears.
‘Don’t apologise. You have no need to apologise.’
She nodded, but I could see she wasn’t convinced. ‘So we’re good? You gonna drop that defence?’
Another small nod. ‘I can drop the questions and the inquisition. I can see you’re uncomfortable.’
She wouldn’t look up. It felt like forever passed, but then she piped up in her quiet voice. ‘It’s okay.’
‘What’s okay?’
‘You can ask, if you want to know. I’ll try to be more honest.’
A flutter in my stomach. So she’d been holding back before. Well that was hardly surprising, was it? ‘More honest? So, you do like being checked out.’ It wasn’t a question, just a confirmation of what she’d effectively just admitted to me. ‘Because…’
I waited for her to take the prompt, and after a deep breath and a shrug, she eventually met my eyes. ‘Because it makes me feel good. Sexy.’
‘And I don’t?’
‘Well, you do. But in other ways. You don’t look at me like that any more.’
That felt like a bit of a body blow, but I did ask, after all. ‘Okay, I think I get it.’
I was terrible at hiding things from her and I could see that she was upset that she’d possibly hurt me a little. ‘Hey, I’m just telling you. I… guess it’s difficult for you. I mean, you’ve seen it all already. It’s only natural.’
That was pretty matter of fact, but it made sense. ‘So there’s something in the mystery and the intrigue of it all.’
A quick nod. Maybe too quick. We were really getting under the skin of this now. ‘Yeah, I often wonder how other people’s imaginations work.’ She grimaced a bit as that came out, like she’d revealed too much.
‘Go on.’
‘No, no. I shouldn’t have…’
I cut her off. ‘Em, it’s fine. Really, I’m interested.’
‘Well, you know…’
‘No.’
She was flushed with a faint rose colour again now. ‘It just… I’m intrigued, by what people think.’
‘When they look at you?’
A shrug. ‘I guess.’
‘So you’re not interested in them? You know, physically.’
‘Not really. I mean, I know what an attractive person looks like, but it’s more about the mind. You know, like, what they think of me.’
‘Or perhaps how they think of you?’
‘Exactly. But it’s not like I can ever pick their mind apart is it? That would be crossing a line.’
‘I can see that. So what sort of thing are we talking about here? You’d like to know what they speculate about?’
‘Uh huh. Like… what I might have on underneath.’ A moment of hesitation.
‘It’s okay, carry on.’
‘Or, well, how I am in bed.’
I reached out to stroke her leg, nodding as the words entered my ears. ‘Huh. You know, I’m really pleased you told me. But, I’m really sad it’s taken six years.’
She nodded in agreement. ‘Sorry, I just…’
A quick squeeze of her knee brought her up short. ‘Hey, what did I say? No apologies. It’s no-one’s fault.
‘So, you’re okay with all that?’
I nodded thoughtfully. ‘Sure. I mean, everyone is allowed a fantasy or two, aren’t they? And if I’m being completely honest, I kind of like it when I see guys eyeing you up. Nice to know I have a desirable woman. But more than that, I like that you like it. Does that make sense?’
‘Not really.’
‘I suppose it’s like this. All I want is for you to experience pleasure. You know, sexually. And yeah, I have a major, major role in that, obviously. But if there are things around the edges that you enjoy that doesn’t involve me, that’s cool too. I think, from what you were telling me before, that there are things I can’t give you, because there isn’t anything mysterious or new about me.’
As realisation painted her features, she nodded along. ‘Okay, I get it now.’
I was still nervous, because I was about to escalate things further. This felt like trying to creep up on a particularly skittish animal without scaring it away. ‘So, if you want to wear a shorter skirt now and again, I’m okay with that.’ I made sure to smile, but I was really concentrating on gauging her reaction.
‘What? Are you… are you serious? I can never tell if you’re being serious!’
I smirked over at her. ‘Did I just touch a nerve?’
She was a little distant for a second, lost in though, before she snapped back to the here and now. ‘Huh? Oh, no. Well, maybe a little bit.’
She was still guarded, that much was obvious. Perhaps if I clarified a little more. ‘I’m not talking about you dressing like a whore or anything. Just something edgier, I guess. Something that adds an element of danger. That does not mean I don’t like how you dress now, so do not go there,’ I hastily added with a laugh.
I could see her nodding, taking it all in. ‘Okay, but… what do you mean by danger? Danger of what?’
‘You know. Someone seeing a bit more than they should.’
Another blush, but she didn’t look too uncomfortable now. Oh there was definitely something bubbling beneath the surface here. ‘I see.’
Not comfortable enough to grab the bait, it appeared. So, another nudge along the path. ‘So is that something you like the idea of? Someone, say, seeing up your skirt?’
‘I don’t know. It depends on who. I mean, with some people, it would be mortifying. Sorry, it’s a nice idea, but I’m not sure I’m brave enough. Especially not at work.’
This was interesting. She’d thought about it, but wasn’t prepared to make the leap. ‘Okay, that’s fine. But we’re just talking here, you don’t need to do anything. Why not at work though?’
‘Just because I take my career seriously. I don’t want a reputation.’
That was fair, but if I could get in from another angle. ‘Of course. But we’re just talking fantasy here. It’s not real. Just in theory, hypothetically. As a one-off, do you like the idea?’ I reached down, and with one hand, pushed the hem of her pencil skirt to about eight inches above her knee. ‘Something like this, say?’
I saw her swallow as she looked down at my adjustments. ‘That’s pretty short. Things could get a little crazy,’ she replied in a breathy whisper.
‘Good crazy or bad crazy?’
‘I don’t know.’ She paused, and I could see something about all this was gnawing at her. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Sure.’
‘Do you like the idea? Of me sat at work, and people eyeing me up? People seeing up my skirt?’
Well I’d been trying to drag things out of her for the past thirty minutes. It was only fair that I was honest in return. And so I nodded. ‘Sure, there’s a part of me that finds that appealing.’
‘You mean accidentally? What about if I did it on purpose?’
Now where did that come from? I narrowed my gaze on her. ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’
From nowhere, she looked rather sheepish, once again averting her gaze. ‘I don’t know. I’m not sure you’ll like it if I tell you. But I don’t want to make you promise to not get angry.’
I was nervous enough to call it mild concern by this point. I had a feeling she was going to confess something and shatter my illusions of monogamy on her behalf. ‘Go on.’
‘Well you said before you liked the idea of guys checking me out, and a bit of flirting, right?’
‘I did say that, didn’t I?’
‘Well what if I told you I do that a little bit?’
‘Just spit it out. What do you want to tell me?’
‘Well, Chris mentioned my new skirt today.’ She paused there, looking at me, waiting for me to explode. She knew I didn’t like Chris. Perhaps the most annoying thing about him was that I couldn’t quite place why it was that I disliked him. Every time I’d met the guy, he was perfectly pleasant, and I had a fair amount in common with him. I’d even considered that if I’d met him before I met Emma, we might well be friends. But there it was. Emma. To my eyes, he was besotted with her. To his credit, he did a very good job of hiding it; but it was there. Of course, it was entirely possible I was being paranoid. Emma had herself commented as much when I’d foolishly voiced my suspicions after one too many drinks one night. I’d been summarily informed that Chris was merely friendly, and he’d never do anything because he knew she had a boyfriend. If I was in his shoes, that’s exactly what I’d want her to think, and I’d bide my time for that moment of weakness.
The rather large part of all this I left out was that when I engaged in this sordid little fantasy of mine, Chris’ face often reared up as the person pressing on Emma’s faithfulness. I’d hated it at first, but I’d learned to embrace it. Realistically, he was the most likely person to get into her knickers. He’d been chipping away at her for over two years now. This was exactly the sort of thing he did. Compliment her attire, seemingly innocent, only he knew it wasn’t. As did I. And I’m sure, deep down, Emma knew that too, but she was never one to cause a scene. That she’d stopped telling me about what Chris said at work to her was perhaps a measure of the success of his ‘Divide and Conquer’ approach, assuming I wasn’t reading too much into it. After a moment’s pause however, perhaps the fact she’s told me about this was a measure of the success of this conversation. I just wished it didn’t have to be Chris. Or did I? Part of me realised he would be perfect for this.
I looked at my girlfriend, who was sat there fearing the worst. I laid a hand on her leg. ‘It’s okay, I’m not mad.’ I effectively saw and felt the tension drain from her, and so I pressed on. ‘And what did he say, exactly?’
She was still squirming, not totally happy to meet my gaze. ‘Well he didn’t say it, he emailed it.’
She was diverting attention from the content of whatever was in this email, so I asked outright. ‘Emma, come on. We’re so deep into this that you know it’ll come out one way or the other. What was in the email?’
She looked down at her legs, mumbling. ‘He just said… something like… you know… that it was tight, and the sort of dress I’d have to wear a thong with.’
I let loose something of a derisive snort. Chris had clearly upped his game in the nine months or so since Emma had stopped talking about him. ‘And how did you reply to this textbook case of sexual harassment in the workplace?’ I responded, perhaps too sharply.
She waved a hand at me, dismissing my concern. ‘Oh… it’s just Chris. You know what he’s like.’
I gave her a wry look. ‘Oh I know what Chris is like.’
An exasperated sigh whooshed from her. ‘See? This is what I mean! Forget I mentioned it, okay?’
It took all of my inner strength to put aside the stubbornness welling up inside me, to go on the attack. And so I gave her leg a reassuring squeeze. ‘I’m sorry. I brought this up. And I want to know, what did you say back to him?’
I was expecting her to clam up, for it to be conversation over, but instead I got a pouty little shrug. ‘Just told him to stop goofing around, that it was none of his business.’
At once, I felt guilty. Guilty for underestimating her. I was expecting this to be a confession. That she’d done something wrong, when instead, she was merely trying to contribute to the conversation. I nodded slowly, the realisation of what she was getting at dawning on me. ‘I see. So, when you asked me about someone seeing on purpose… Is that it? You sometimes fantasise about responding differently to Chris?’
She still wouldn’t look up at me for long. Clearly this had become somewhat more real for her with Chris in the mix. ‘Don’t hate me, it’s just a fantasy.’ A worried grimace appeared on her face. I needed to make her comfortable again as soon as possible.
‘Em, it’s fine. Really. Just a fantasy. I trust you, and I get it. Chris is the only idiot brave or stupid enough to actually say something like that to you because he knows you well enough.’
‘I… hadn’t thought about it like that, but you’re probably right.’
‘So, what sort of thing would you like to send back to him? In your fantasy?’
‘Are you sure you want to go there?’ She asked, clearly sceptical.
I put on a nonchalant shrug. ‘Sure, what have I got to lose?’ Well, plenty actually, but I was too engrossed in this to care much at that particular moment.
‘Well… I couldn’t give up the game right away, so I’d have to make him squirm a bit. Tease him about staring at my bum.’
‘Of course.’ A part of me wondered if this hadn’t already occurred, but I went with her story. ‘And then?’
‘You know… some back and forth, but eventually I’d tell him what I had on under the skirt. With him asking for details. You know, what colour, what type, what material?’
‘Any more to it?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I just like the idea of giving him something to think about.’ Well, she wasn’t going to admit to the full thing just yet, was she? I knew though, with some digging, there was further things to uncover.
‘Okay. Hypothetical situation here. Let’s say there was a work party of some description, and you’d been having your fun with Chris, telling him all about your knickers for a couple of weeks. What if he suggested something for you to wear to this party? Is that hot, at all?’ I tried to keep it conversational, but I’d just heaped a whole load of fantasy on to her.
Her response was to sit on the fence, which wasn’t a surprise. ‘It depends on what it was.’
It was time to push her now, as far as I was concerned. ‘What about… a dress. Tight enough to show off the bum he so clearly loves. Low cut enough to give a hint of what you keep covered up in the office, and short enough so that he doesn’t need to write an email to work out what you have on underneath.’
A small frown appeared on her face. ‘I’m not sure I’d be happy to dress like a whore.’
I rolled my eyes at her. ‘Not a whore. Just a nice, classy cocktail dress. Like your summer dresses, but a bit dressier than that.’
After considering for a few moments, she smirked at me. ‘Could be interesting.’
‘Even if he was throwing knowing smiles at you all evening? Trying to look up your dress?’
‘It doesn’t mean he’d succeed.’
‘No, but you know turning up in what he suggested would only encourage him.’
‘I guess it would. But I know how to deal with Chris.’
‘Even in the face of a new level of persistence? After a few glasses of wine?’
She narrowed her eyes on me, but I could see there was a playful glimmer in there. ‘What is this? Some sort of test, or trap?’
I merely returned a smile at her. ‘Not at all.’
‘Then what is it?’
‘Honestly? I was just thinking out loud. Creating some sort of hypothetical situation that you might enjoy, at least on a fantasy level.’
She nodded, slowly. ‘I see. And you came up with the guy you hate getting me to wear a hot dress to a party on his suggestion.’
I forced a shrug, attempting some level of nonchalance. ‘Well we were talking about him. I was just going with the flow.’
She eyed me askance. ‘But… isn’t that the exact sort of situation that, if it were to happen… isn’t that one of your worst nightmares?’
I wondered where she was taking this. If it was a genuine question, or indeed if it was some gentle prodding towards an admission on my behalf. ‘Yeah, but I know it’s hypothetical. So, you know, I can deal with it.’
‘If you say so. So what happens net in this hypothetical situation of yours?’
‘Oh, so it’s mine now, is it?’ I responded with a laugh. ‘Well, are we assuming that his persistence might have an effect on you?’
‘It seems that things are heading that way, doesn’t it?’
I took that as the green light to press ahead, that she was at least partly into this. ‘Well, what do you think he’d be like?’
She shook her head. ‘That’s not how it works. You know just what he’s like. You tell me.’
And here it was, as we arrived at the crux of what I’d been getting at all along. ‘Well I imagine he’d be trying to look up that dress. You think that’s a fair assessment?’
She nodded. ‘Seeing as we’re being truthful, yeah, I think that’s fair.’
‘And does that excite you? The prospect of him getting a glimpse of your undies?’ I’d decided it was time to ask questions with binary answers. She still wasn’t brave enough to elaborate too much on open ended questions.
‘In theory, I think it might be fun.
I reached down and edged her thighs marginally apart, enough to see up between them, pale thighs framing a triangle of material. ‘And if he got a flash of… red? Began to talk about it?’ Red. Wow, she really dressed up for work today. I knew that thong well, having bought it for her birthday, and I felt her sharp intake of breath as I gently manhandled her.
‘Well it might be interesting to see him try and fail?’
‘Would he fail?’
A sharp look. ‘Of course he would. I’m with you!’
Well that was plain enough as to where her thoughts lay. I’d have to play this carefully. I raised my hands in a placating manner. ‘I know, I know. But remember, we’re speaking hypothetically here. I’ve never doubted your commitment to me, but hey, none of us are immune to moments of weakness. And God knows Chris has been waiting for one of those for long enough. So, let’s just suppose… pretend, that all this talk of knickers, him getting you to wear that dress… Let’s just pretend that it made you curious as to where he might take it.’
I saw her consider, the metaphorical cogs turning in her mind. ‘Curious. Well I can certainly admit to that,’ she replied, and I instantly caught the double meaning.
‘Right. Just curiosity. Let him say his piece, see what he has up his sleeve. That kind of thing. You’re completely in control. So what if he saw your knickers. Not a big deal, really, is it?’
She laughed at me. ‘You’re such a dick head.’ I could see the colour in her cheeks however, as I led her down the path, very close to the alignment of some of her innermost fantasies. Or at least, that was my guess.
I sought ways to escalate this, considering asking her if Chris had ever inquired after our sex life, but I thought that might be too much. She wouldn’t be willing to put me down. So, I reached down, making small circles on her knee with my fingertip. ‘What if started to touch you like this? He ever touch you before?’
The truth had already started to flow, and now it became a torrent. ‘Yes, but just his arm around me, that sort of thing. Nothing too serious.’
‘So he never touched your leg or anything.’
‘No.’
‘But he’d like to.’
‘Yes.’ And there it was. The admission that she knew Chris liked her. The first time she’d acknowledged it.
‘So let’s assume he had the nous to whisk you off to a quiet corner of the bar or whatever. What if he…’ With that, I applied some pressure to the inside of her knee, and looking down, I saw her thighs once more begin to diverge, the skin parting like a soft ripple. I looked up to meet her eyes. ‘What if he wanted to see a little more red?’ I could see a generous amount of the material of the thong by now, almost down to the crotch.
I saw her smirk, and her input was simply glorious. ‘I’m not convinced he’s as smooth as that, but if he was, then you never know.’ I wasn’t sure how much was truth, and how much was embellished for my benefit, but what was left unspoken was deafening.
I edged my fingers up the inside of her leg. Was that a faint tremble? I’d never felt that from her. ‘Well let’s assume he plucked that little trick from somewhere.’ I didn’t want to disparage him at this point, even if she just had. ‘How far up your leg would he get before you batted his hand away?’
‘Why don’t you find out?’ She replied, clearly trying to keep a lid on her arousal by the point. I knew that look all too well. Had I opened a can of worms here? Perhaps, but I was enjoying it too much to really care. I began to inch my fingers upwards, dividing my gaze between the progress of my hand, and her face. As I edged higher, past the hem of her pencil skirt, pushing it up towards her hips, her legs perhaps involuntarily falling further open, her look became more sheepish.
I was mere inches from her sex, and so I slowed. I wanted affirmation from her. ‘Stop?’
All I received in response was a small shake of her head as she bit her lip, unwilling to look at me. As fingertips brushed over the suspiciously warm material of the thong, a soft whisper emanated from her as her eyes closed. ‘Oh… shit.’
I leaned closer to whisper in her ear. ‘I know. Oh shit. Oh shit I’m about to let Chris finger me in the corner of a bar.’ I saw her hesitate and I knew I had to pounce on it immediately. ‘Ssshhh. Don’t apologise. I can see and feel how much you want it, and that is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
There was no argument from her. How could there be? I couldn’t immediately recall her being aroused to this level, even when we started seeing each other, during that wonderful exploration phase. This was the fundamental part of the fantasy for her, I supposed. There was no way I could ever replicate the excitement of her experiencing someone new, and in such a taboo manner. This was probably the next best thing, but it led me to wonder what just how turned on she’d be if Chris ever got his hands on her for real.
It was important to progress this, and I think we both knew where it was leading by this point. Still, Emma appeared to be enjoying the suspense as much as I was, so I gently pressed on the crotch of her knickers, smiling at her with just a hint of tease. ‘Looks like Chris got you all riled up.’
I wasn’t sure if she was blushing, or if it was just the pink flush of arousal that was taking over her chest and neck. Always a sure-fire sign she was into things. She let loose a wry laugh that I suspected was covering a sigh. ‘Um… yeah.’
Looking down, I saw the swollen edges of her lips peering out from the sides of her knickers as I slowly massaged her through them. It was time to see if she was more forthcoming now I’d given her license to do so. ‘So what happens next? Do you think Chris would like to get his mouth on this?’
She looked at me like I was stupid. ‘Of course he would. But you know what I’m like.’
I knew just what she was like. For whatever reason, she’d always been very sensitive to oral sex. It got her off super quickly. It was nothing I did, but I could regularly bring her to climax in under a minute with my tongue if she needed a quick release. ‘So you want it to last a bit longer, huh?’
‘Yeah. I mean, he’s bragged a couple of times when he’s been drunk about how good he is with his tongue. But if I was in a bar like you said…’
‘Go on.’ I was desperate for her side of the story here, and so I left it open for her to elaborate.’
‘Well, I think I’d just want to jump right into it, you know?’
‘Maybe, but for the avoidance of doubt,’ I responded with a small smile.
She could see what I was doing, but she was a willing participant in this by now. ‘I mean that I wouldn’t want to wait to get back to his place.’
‘So where would you go?’
‘Well, maybe around the back of the bar. A nearby park. The toilets in the bar.’
My penis was raging inside my trousers already, but at this suggestion, I thought it might burst. ‘So pick one. I want to hear you say it. Say what you want to do.’
She took a deep breath. ‘I want to fuck Chris in the toilets of a bar.’ Silence, as the dust settled on that frank and unthinkable admission.
A long moment passed as we looked into each others’ eyes, glazed with lust. ‘Show me how,’ I whispered.
She rose onto unsteady legs, looking down at me amid a haze of emotions. Guilt and betrayal warred with lust and perhaps a little trepidation and confusion. I shared much of the same, only with a distinct pang of jealousy added to the heady mix. Softly straddling me, her skirt pushing all the way up to her hips, she began to fumble with my trousers. ‘You’d ride him, huh?’
‘Well, he likes my boobs.’
‘I think he likes all of you, Em.’ I began to unbutton her blouse, until it hung completely open. Her boobs were pretty spectacular, I had to admit. In my opinion, the perfect C-cup, and framed here in a red bra that matched her thong. She’d finally solved the riddle of my belt and trousers, and I breathed a sigh of relief as my aching shaft was released from its cage.
I looked down as she wrapped dainty fingers around the length. ‘Has Chris ever mentioned, you know, his cock?’
A shrug. Hmmm, maybe this was a sore point. ‘Once or twice. But he’s all talk.’
‘What did he say?’
‘Oh he was just talking to some of the guys and I happened to be there.’
‘Yes, but what did he say.’
‘He was talking about a girl he’d been with. He was just showing off. Said that he had to settle for a blowjob because he was too big for her.’
‘And in your fantasy? Is he?’
‘No. I don’t know. I like yours.’
I needed to reassure her. ‘Hey, it’s fine. We’ve come this far, you’re allowed to fill in the details.’
‘Well, I don’t know. I’ve never tried…’
‘But you’re curious?’
A small nod. ‘Maybe a bit. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like yours!’
I was average in the trouser department. I always thought I knew how to use it. Or rather, I made good use of my hands and tongue to complement what my penis was doing. I took her finger, hovering it over the throbbing purple head of my manhood. ‘Show me, how much bigger?’
I watched, my cock twitching as she created a three inch gap between her finger and my tip. I smiled up at her to reassure her it was okay. ‘Thicker too I imagine?’
‘Maybe just a little.’
I wondered how long this had been kicking around in her head. I was relatively comfortable that it wasn’t a huge deal for her. More of a ‘nice to have’ if the opportunity arose. I reached down between her legs and moved her knickers to one side, her waxed lips and mound peeking into view. ‘Go on then, put him in.’
She squeezed my cock tighter and lifted a little to guide me in. ‘Hang on!’ I cried, causing her to pause. Softening my look, arching an eyebrow I asked, ‘Aren’t you going to make him wear a condom?’
She’d obviously had no thought on the matter, so used to sex without a condom with me. But she saw the twinkle in my eye, and responded in kind. ‘Well if I was drunk, and turned on…’ With that, she settled onto my cock, and I slipped into her drenched sex with consummate ease, enjoying the way she groaned as I bottomed out in her.
I leaned forward, holding her still, kissing over the the top of one bra-clad globe, working up to her neck. ‘Bigger than you’re used to?’ I whispered into her ear, adding a bite for good measure.
Looking to the ceiling she let out a moan that turned into a shout. ‘Fuck… YES!’ Well that was new.
I wanted to make this as real as possible for her. ‘You can moan his name if you want.’
All decorum and hesitation were gone by now. It was as if she daren’t move for fear of climaxing, but at the first faint movement in her hip, she practically growled down my ear. ‘Oh, Chris. Shit!’
I nearly came on the spot, having to use every bit of willpower and concentration to hold onto myself. ‘Bet you wish we did this earlier now.’
‘Oh God, yes. If I’d known.’
We weren’t looking at each other now, but the uncertainty over what was real and what was embellished was driving me crazy.
In truth, the sex was over before it began. Neither of us were able to control ourselves in the face of what we’d created; the most sordid of situations. I climaxed to the sound of the woman I loved rapidly moaning the name of my nemesis as she orgasmed on top of me in the most violent fashion I’d ever seen from her.
There was to be no post-coital bliss. The awkwardness began the moment the cloud of ecstasy subsided. Tentative glances tinged with regret, conveying the question: That was amazing, but was it really worth it? Have we unleashed something here? All in the brief meeting of eyes. An undeniable truth had been voiced and acted upon, in a manner of speaking. Emma wanted to fuck Chris.