The things in my closet chapter 3
The shame was a permanent part of me now, it was both skin and bones. Faggot, a word I would never call someone else, yet it encompassed my entire identity. My every free moment was spent at in the video booths. I had been to every sex shop in town by now, I had been on my knees on every filthy floor and sucked on cocks of all sizes and colors. Sometimes the cocks were clean and sometimes the smelled awful. It didn’t matter, they were clean when I was finished with them. I was even learning how to deepthroat. This did not come naturally too me and many times I had come close to throwing up but still I longed for it.
Today was a welcome break, today I was meeting with Jenna, my intern. She was 24 and beautiful. Perfect features, hazel eyes and long blond hair. It was her lips that I found most beautiful. They were… puffy I suppose but it’s seemed too silly a word to describe them. They were so beautiful. One of my male colleagues in the practice had made a crude comment about her which had made me blush with anger. I would never… it wouldn’t be appropriate… maybe if I were single… younger… and, I had to admit, someone else entirely. I would never have been able to attract a girl, no woman, like her. Not even in my prime.
Still I loved working with her. She was a brilliant young therapist and would surely surpass me in skill given a little more time and experience. I had let her see some difficult cases including Bill the last couple of weeks. Bill had agreed to meet with her instead of me periodically. Agreed with no apparent resistance. This eased some of my fears that Bill might not only know about my new obsession, and might even be collecting blackmail material on me. If this was the case wouldn’t he object to seeing another therapist? Jenna finished her review of the other clients she had seen last week and was going to finish up with Bill.
“Bill is” she paused for a moment trying to think of the right word “impressive?”
“I agree” I replied with an understanding smile “but what do you mean by it?”
“Well, there’s nothing particularly difficult about his presenting problems and based on your notes he seems to be benefiting from therapy. He isn’t afraid about sharing intimate details of his life” the uncomfortable smile she gave told me that Bill’s stories weren’t for my benefit alone, this was a bigger relief than it should have been.
“Was he inappropriate?” I asked concerned.
“Not at all. But there was an..an…”
“An energy.” I finished for her. “Like an electrical charge in the air.”
“Exactly!” She said “and I hope it isn’t inappropriate to say this but it’s really kind of sexy.”
It isn’t unusual for a therapist to be sexually attracted to a client. It’s actually very common. But to a new therapist, wide eyed and naive it can come as a shock when it happens. “I completely understand” I reassured her. “I’ve felt it too.”
I was going to clarify it was with other clients but she cut me off “So you think he’s sexy too!”
I wanted to lie to her but I couldn’t “yes, completely sexy.” I didn’t even try to tell her I was straight. I felt a strange sense of relief. I hadn’t emptied my closet in front of her but I had just admitted being attracted to another man.
“Yeah he totally is.” She finished with no hint of judgment. I found myself envying her youth. What would it have been like if I were a young man now? Would I still be so ashamed of my desires that I could only act on them in the dark?
I ended the meeting with Jenna saying something about the importance of talking to a supervisor whenever you had feelings for a client. It was important to have a second opinion when such emotions were involved to keep from getting carried away. Of course I had only told Jenna and I hadn’t told her much. I couldn’t tell her everything. I couldn’t tell anyone. How could I look her in the eye.
Jenna and I talked about our plans as we left the office together. She was going home to change for a Bachelorette party. I told her I was heading home for to spend time with my wife. The lie made me a little sad. I was going to the ABS to indulge my needs, I wouldn’t be home for hours. Who knew where my wife was but she would be home long after me. We wouldn’t talk, just go to sleep. What would we even say?
I pulled into the parking lot of the ABS. I didn’t bother to pull to the back. My fear that someone would recognize my car. I didn’t try to cover my face or even rush to the door.
Nick greeted me from behind the counter “Evening faggot.” Yes the smirking clerk and I were now on a first name basis. I mean we would be if my first name was faggot.
At some point we started chatting in my way in and out.
“Hey Nick” I said, my smile was both shy and genuine. “The lot’s pretty full, is there a lot of action tonight?”
He raised his eyebrows “you’ve got a lot of competition tonight, more cock suckers than cocks tonight.”
I winced, it would be a long night. “Maybe I should try across the street” I frowned, cock was cock but the booths weren’t as comfortable and the gloryholes were at a weird height.
“You could do that but it’s probably no better over their” he said “maybe it’s time to up your game.” I must have looked confused. “You come in here almost every night, you’re not bad looking and judging from look on the guys leaving your booth you’re a good cock sucker, but the guys who come here are always looking for something special.” He took out a flask from his pocket and took a drink. “Most of the guys here are barely even gay, their wives don’t put out and when the pressure builds up they come here to blow off some steam.”
Still not understanding I asked “so what am I supposed to do?”
He gestured to a wall that displayed women’s lingerie. “Be the fantasy faggot.” I must have looked shocked “before you say no I’ve got some stuff in the back you can try. Just give it a shot. If you don’t like it just don’t do it again. I tell you what, I’ll even comp your ticket. ”
I was suspicious, we were friendly but he’d never let me in without paying before “what’s the catch?”
“I get to watch you change ” the smirk returning to his face. “I’ll even help you dress faggot.” With those words I was convinced. I wanted this. I wanted to undress in front of this man. I wanted to feel his hands on me.
He led me to the back office where a younger fatter version of Nick sat in front of a computer. “Watch the desk for a minute asshole” the young man shuffled out wordlessly taking his laptop with him. “Stand over there faggot, and get naked, take off everything.”
I was nervous in a way I hadn’t been for a long time, but I didn’t consider backing out. I took off my shirt first, then my undershirt. Next I kicked off my shoes and socks trying to keep my balance. I looked up at Nick and he nodded his approval. I took off my pants and undershirt in one push and awkwardly folded my clothes on the table the young man was using as a desk. Nick never took his eyes off me. “Mmmmm” he said. I could feel his eyes on me.
“Can I suck your cock?” I asked not sure what would happen next.
“No faggot, that’s not my thing. I like to watch, I like to watch you, I’ve been watching you for awhile now.”
This made me a little nervous. “Do… do you have cameras? In the booths?” What had I done? How many videos were there of me with cocks in my mouth? Who else had seen them?
“Not in all of them faggot. I have a few cameras in a few of the booths. I don’t use them much, but since you started coming here I’ve been watching you, and your favorite one, the one we could practically name after you, in that one I have 2.” He took another drink from his flask but never took his eyes off me. He left me wondering as he pulled out some plastic bins. First he passed me some thong panties. I blushed as I slipped them on. I didn’t think there was enough fabric in the front to cover me but my small package seemed to shrink to the occasion. Then a lacy bra which he helped me put on. His fingers brushed against me more than they would by accident and I wanted more. The stockings he slipped up my legs while I sat on a cold chair then helped me button a short black mini skirt. After rummaging around for a bit he found a pair of high heeled shoes that fit perfectly.
Next he opened a small case. Crudely he put blue eyeshadow on me followed by bright red lipstick. Lastly he pulled a a brown wig over my head. Then he gestured to a stained cracked mirror bolted to the wall.
I looked at myself. I was shocked at how much I liked it. I ran my fingers over my bare stomach. I lifted up the skirt and saw my small hard cock straining against the panties, my panties. God it felt so right.
“It’s time” Nick said and guided me to the door with a hand on the small of my back. The main part of the sore was well lit there might be people in it, but I stumbled awkwardly forward in my borrowed shoes. “You’re going to go out there and walk around the store and if there’s anyone out there you’re going to look them in the eye.” I shivered visibly. “You’re not going in the booths either. I can’t see you well enough in there. You’re going to go in the theater, walk to the front, and see what happens. Don’t worry, you’re going to love it.”
Moving slowly, getting used to the heels I took a deep breath and stepped into the store, relived to find it empty except for young man at the counter who quickly traded places with Nick and disappeared into the back room. I circled the store pretending to look at the various sex toys on the wall, my hands shaking trying not to fall. I circled around back to the front doors and was about to turn towards the the theater when the silence was broken by the laughter of a group of young women, and an entire bachelorette party burst into the store!
Jenna was at the front of the group because of course she was. They were all surprised to see a scantly clad crossdresser in the middle of the store and for a moment the group stood silent. There was no doubt Jenna recognized me, she stood there mouth open in pure shock. Then something happened.
Jenna squealed with joy “oh Marty you look fantastic!” my name is Martin, I don’t normally respond to less formal versions of my name, but I had tolerated it from Jenna, maybe because I liked her.
My eyes stung and I tried to keep from crying. She was like a daughter to me and to have her see me like this. The bride to be recovered from her surprise enough to ask “Jenna you know him…her?” I wasn’t sure which pronouns to use but I was touched that she was trying to respect mine. Jenna must have perceived my fear and quickly lied “yes we met when I was out with Gabe.” I had no idea who Gabe was but the rest of the women nodded as if this made sense. “Do you remember me Marty?”
My mind raced trying to figure out how to react but Nick broke in “Marty” he said with his mocking smile, “it’s showtime.” I looked back at him pleading with my eyes but there was no mercy. “Marty has a job to do ladies. If you want I’ll let you into the observation deck for free, seeing as you’re celebrating and all. Jenna looked ready to refuse but the rest of the party giggled with joy. “Thank you so much” the bride said to Nick.
“My pleasure” Nick replied, “now hurry up Marty, your public is waiting.”
My whole body was shaking as I turned and walked towards the theater. Nick closed and locked the door to the back room before I could think about trying to get my clothes and leave. My wallet, phone, and care keys were back there. If I left through the front door where could I go?
I pushed through the curtain that covered the theater entrance. The place was packed. There were a few open seats but I walked to the front as Nick had told me. Nick was right about upping my game. Nobody would have noticed me in my work clothes, but dressed like this every eye was on me. I could see through the corner of my eye the “observation booth” Nick had mentioned. It was a glass screen under the projector that I had never noticed before. It lit up as nick opened the door and ushered the Bachelorette party inside, then went just dark just as quickly.
It was a straight movie playing on the screen. A large breasted woman in a cheerleader uniform was being fucked in what appeared to be a locker room. The reflected light was enough to see Jenna behind the glass watching me more intensely than even the men in the theater. “Stop this!” My mind screamed. “You can’t to this in front of her!” But my body didn’t listen. When I reached the front of the theater I got down on my knees, the men knew what that meant.
There was a cock in my mouth before I could look up again at the booth, and soon I was surrounded. I jacked off a cock in each hand while another fucked my mouth, and the other men ran their hands around every part of my body. The first cock came down my throat and I felt one explode all over my right hand and forearm and both were quickly replaced by others. But I couldn’t go fast enough and the other men worked into a frenzy! I thought I could hear squeals of joy coming from the observation booth but the cocks were intoxicating and I couldn’t focus for long.
Soon I felt hands pulling at my clothes and a stab of panic went through my chest! Cocks withdrew from my hands and mouth and I felt myself lifted and propped up against the first row of seats. Soon I had another cock in my mouth and I gripped the front of the seat to steady myself while I felt the skirt tear off my body followed by my panties! Dry fingers pushing violently into my anus and I grunted with pain and did my best not to bite down on the cock in my mouth. The fingers withdrew and I felt the cold splash of lube for which I’d never been so grateful.
Another load of cum exploded into my mouth as I felt the head of a cock probing my crack looking for a way in. “Oh you’re a virgin ain’t ya” said a gruff voice. “This was an asshole when you walked in, I’m gonna make it a pussy. You like that idea faggot?” I didn’t like it, I was afraid, I couldn’t say anything with the cock in my mouth, still the sounds that escaped me could not have been interpreted as anything but a yes.
Even well lubed the pain was intense, but it was like it was happening to someone else. Slowly the pain subsided and was replaced with a new feeling. I couldn’t understand what was happening because I had never felt anything like it before. It was a tingle in my belly that grew and grew until I couldn’t take it anymore. My Orgasm was so intense that I fell on the floor shaking as cum sprayed from my clock which was somehow smaller in spite of being rock hard. After catching my breath I felt more hands on me and soon I had cocks in both holes again as I writhed in pleasure on the dirty cum covered floor.
I don’t know how long I stayed there. I don’t know how many times I came. I don’t know how many cocks Had exploded inside me. I looked up and realized I was the only one in the theater. A movie still played but I couldn’t register what happened on the screen. After crawling to my feet I found that my panties and skirt were in pieces. I held what was left of the skirt over my cock and moved towards the exit.
Glancing up I saw one face. It looked like the party had left but two faces remaining. Jenna and Nick stood side by side. Jenna’s face had changed. Instead of the kind smile I loved so much her mouth smirked almost exactly like Nick.
The store was empty, probably closed, which meant it was late, really late. Jenna appeared followed by Nick. My clothes had been dumped on the floor. “Get dressed faggot” he said somehow managing to sound kind. “Is there a shower or anything I could use to clean up?” I asked? “There’s a hose I use to clean the floor” he laughed.
“I’ll take care of it” Jenna spoke up. She led me to a room behind the theater screen and as I stood naked over a floor drain she sprayed me with ice cold water. It didn’t occur to me to ask how she knew where everything was. I just followed her directions as she cleaned the worst of the cum off my body, then had me bend over while she sprayed cold water up my ass. I emptied the contents of my ass over the floor drain. Then she helped me into my clothes and walked me to my car in the parking lot which now held only 3 cars.
As I awkwardly seated myself in the front seat wincing at the pain she handed me my phone showing several messages from my wife asking where the fuck I was. “You looked amazing faggot.” She said breaking the silence. “Next time I’ll do your makeup.”