The Wakening

This is my first stab at writing sci-fi, and I enjoyed every second of it. John Wyndham I ain’t, but it was fun all the same!

As ever, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to my editor, The (devilishly handsome) Brit, without whom my stories would lack a definite sparkle! Always there with a wise word and a green highlighter, I’m more than lucky to have him on my side *grins*

I also would like to thank my beta reader, the wonderful Lee Savino, who thinks to ask the questions I never even realise need asking. And laughs at my lame jokes. She’s fantabulous.

Without any further ado, I hope you enjoy!

*****

The hiss of the hydraulics was the first sensation she experienced. Some sort of fluid drained outside the bag she lay in, settling her gently on the bottom.

The bottom of what?

The light was filtered by the opaque plastic sheeting, a fact she was grateful for as her eyes struggled to readjust. She tried to raise her arms but found them constricted by the bag.

What’s going on? Where am I?

A sudden thought stopped her dead.

Who am I?

This last worried her, but remotely, like she wasn’t quite awake yet. She tried to think through the fug laid upon her mind but it was blank, like a crisp sheet of white paper floating in smoke.

A beep sounded, loud to her ears, then the bag she lay in began to rise, gears grinding. It shuddered to a halt and slowly unfolded.

The dim light still hurt her eyes and she squinted, rubbing circulation back into her hands. A sharp pain in her legs and back made her gasp and through blurred eyes she saw cannulas attached to tubes snaking back into the machine by her feet, before iced pads covered the insertion sites, a cooling spray coating them.

Something hard slid over her breast and she grasped it before it slipped over her shoulder. Circular sheets of metal attached to a chain sat in her fist. She tried to sit up to read them but her head was still held, motionless, in a frame.

Lifting them up to her eyes, she traced the lettering neatly inscribed.

 

O POS 

30062668

FRESCOE

JS

CE

RSF

A voice spoke into her ear, female and automated, interrupting her inspection of the tags. “Memory download initiating.”

What? Wait. Hang on a sec…

A plate inserted into the base of her skull, clicking into place. Pain coruscated through her for an endless moment, visions flickering so fast she could barely see them. Nausea bubbled and then it was over.

“Memory download complete.”

The machine released her head with a snick and Jaylin sat up, groaning. It never got any easier. Would it kill them to figure out a way to administer a painkiller at the same time?

She shook her head, clearing the last of the cobwebs and pulled herself out of the pod. The room was carpeted, with a pile thick and deep, heavy wooden furniture lining the walls, looking to be bolted down. A large screen took up most of the wall opposite, blank and dark.

As she stepped away from the lid, it slowly replaced itself with a hiss, the pod sinking back down into the floor, the bed attached to the top tilting back into place. Jaylin shuddered. Nightmares plagued her of being swallowed into that thing while she was asleep. She hated sleeping on her own in there. Good thing she usually had…

The thought trailed off as she approached the screen. It lit up as she drew near, a woman’s face taking shape.

“Heya Eo, good to see you.”

“And yourself First Mate Frescoe.” The computers voice was modulated for ease of hearing, the same voice from the pod. “How was your Wakening?”

Jaylin shrugged, “Easy enough. How did Adams and French go down?”

The screen glitched for a second, then came back into view. “Captain Sionna Adams and First Mate Samwin French are secure within their biotanks. It is time to report to the Captain, First Mate Frescoe. Please avail yourself of the showering facilities and meet him in the wheelhouse.”

The petite woman breathed a sigh of relief, “Right y’are Eo, I do whiff. Those pods certainly don’t help with the staleness.” The screen went dark.

Hot water jetted down from the ceiling of the wetroom, a fine spray soaking Jaylin’s sore muscles. While the tanks did move her body in the fluid to avoid muscle wastage, she always felt stiff when she emerged.

She scrubbed quickly, skin glowing pink, wincing as the water trickled over the fine insertion points across her body.

I wonder how long we were down for this time?

She counted back through the other pairings. Should be somewhere between fifteen and thirty years depending on how long Eo kept the other pairings up.

Never less than a year, nor longer than two, those were the rules. Optimal amount of time to spend doing the same thing every day with just one other person.

Thirty odd years, that brought them almost to the Libran sector. Maybe even to the point of not going back into that soul-sucking, hibernation unit they called the biotank.

Cap and I might actually make it!

The thought was exciting. Her first space-port. Where actual, non-Gaian humans lived. Were they aliens if they were the same race, shared the same root?

She sat at a heavy desk and combed through her dark hair, unsnarling the tangles. A memory flashed. She could remember someone sat behind her at the same bureau, naked as she was now, brushing her hair for her. There was a hint of a low voice, laughter, rough hands cupping her breasts from behind, fingers idly rolling her nipples and she turned…

No, there was no more.

What the hell was that? Why couldn’t she remember? Was that the Cap? It couldn’t be anyone else, they were the only ones on here.

She tried to bring his face up. Nothing. She brought to mind a score of memories from their time on the ship. In each one, the memory stopped, trailing off when someone else entered it.

It must be an after-effect of the hibernation. Strange, but it should wear off. Jaylin keyed in her code and peeled a mask from the dispenser onto her face, feeling the nanobots cleanse her pores and apply minimal makeup. Another code dried her fine, straight black hair and she sauntered to the wardrobe.

A line of cream button-down shirts and stretchy, ivy-coloured trousers faced her. She picked out a pair and grabbed some underwear from the drawer, dressing swiftly, efficiently. Inserting her earpiece mike, she threw a pair of flat boots on and glanced at herself in the mirror.

Ok, let’s get to work.

A last look around the room and she stepped out into the passageway, shutting the door behind her.

*****

The corridor was furnished in much the same way as the bedroom, with dark, wood-panelled walls, light painted skirting boards and thick carpet, small lamps lining it. Jaylin only managed half a dozen steps before a door opened to her right and a man stepped out, maybe ten years older than her, sandy hair neat and an easy manner. She swallowed. He was easily a foot and a half taller, not particularly physically imposing but with the natural mass of someone who spent time with weights.

He turned and grinned, “Jay! Trust you to be ready before me.”

The smile lit his face, taking it from pleasant to something far more interesting if the somersaults in her stomach were anything to go by.

He turned to crush her in a hug, head swooping towards her. In a panic, she stepped back and away, out of his reach, a startled, “Woah!”, echoing off the walls.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” His face fell, tone earnest rather than annoyed. He studied her searchingly but didn’t seem to find what he was looking for. “Don’t you remember me?”

Jaylin stared back at him, trying hard to jog something loose. Small neural connections at the back of her brain fired as she focussed on him, her hand automatically reaching up to a faint scar at the corner of his lip. “You feel…familiar.”

He looked hopeful but the connections fizzled out and Jaylin shook her head, wishing she could give him more.

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing there. I don’t have anything. I don’t even know your name.” Her voice came out apologetic.

There was an echo of something, pain or disappointment maybe, that flitted across the man’s light hazel eyes before he drew himself up. “I’m Captain Gibson, Frescoe.”

He took her elbow in a proprietary way, almost without thinking it seemed to Jaylin, and turned her to walk along the corridor with him.

“We’ll initiate setup, then I suggest that you visit the surgery about the memory loss.” His voice seemed smooth, controlled, professional now that the moment had passed.

“Yes, Captain, understood.”

The captain gave her a sideways glance and there was that grin again, melting Jaylin’s insides, “You know, I could get used to that.” She smiled back and cursed as she nearly tripped on a small android hovering in the corridor, touching up some paintwork at a corner.

“And there’s the Frescoe I know, utterly cool under pressure, graceful as a stunned gazelle.”

She laughed, “Well, you certainly seem to know me. I wonder what happened to Adams and French to require a paint job?”

The man next to her waggled his eyebrows. “I shudder to think. Let’s go find out, shall we?”

*****

The wheelhouse was far less grand than its title suggested, a simple room filled with a large window facing out onto the rushing stars and a bank of computers discreetly set into the walls. There was no wheel in there but it was where the navigation systems were stored so the name kind of stuck.

The Captain, as Jaylin had started to think of him, strode straight to one of the units, while she walked just as purposefully to another, automatically logging in and running system and inventory checks as she always did on her Wakening.

There was a muffled snort from the other end and she glanced up to see him looking at her, eyes filled with mirth. “Indoor cricket, that was the reason for the repair job. We’ll have to search for their gear, give that a go this time.”

He really was more than a little handsome when he smiled. His smile faded as Jaylin gave him a polite one in return.

“How are the stats, Frescoe?” He returned to a more professional footing again and she kicked herself.

“Food stores suggest that we have only three years left until a Libran landing, sir.” A crestfallen sort of excitement filled her voice.

Close, but it wouldn’t be them getting the first glimpse of the Spaceport.

“I’m sorry Jay, I know you were hoping that podsleep was your last.”

It felt strange, having someone she knew nothing about, knowing her well enough to pick up on her thoughts.

She moved on swiftly, “All other systems appear optimal, looks like Eo’s still got it, sir.”

“Thank you First Mate Frescoe.” The AI appeared on the screen.

“Ok, I’ll go through the logs with Eo, you head to the surgery, Frescoe, and I’ll bring you up to speed later on the last 28 years.” He was looking at her with eyes that made Jaylin shiver.

She turned to go, “Thank you, sir.”

If they had history, she wanted it back.

*****

The surgery was a bust. She walked into the darkened scanning station and stood, as motionless as possible in the pitch black room as the unit scanned her, neon light strobes from head to toes in 360 degrees.

“Almost perfect health, a slight hypertension in the muscles due to hibernation protocol.” The med-droid was emotionless. “Any memory loss appears to be due to a glitch in the memory download process, likely unrecoverable.”

And just like that, her hopes were dashed. There would be no reunion with the gallant captain. Jaylin felt like she had lost a part of herself but worse, as she couldn’t tell what part it was.

The captain appeared to take it better, nodding his head. “We’ll just have to start again then, won’t we?”, and he smiled.

Weeks turned into a month, then two and an easy companionship grew between the pair. She learnt how to work alongside him, following his instructions to the letter as he brooked nothing less, though he certainly seemed to take her ideas into account.

When they had left Earth nearly eighty years ago, technology had still been unavailable for a true Artificial Intelligence, so the ship needed at least two crew members to react to any emergencies. However, given the human lifespan, no ship could carry just two crew so a minimum of sixteen pairs were carried at all times, woken up at varying intervals to keep watch for a year or two so voyages appeared to take only a few years.

Pairings were organised back on Earth and often the subject of months of training and psychometric evaluation to ensure that the crew members could work and live with each other for long periods of time.

In the absence of any emergencies, the ships’ androids carried out routine maintenance and ran the ship admirably well, leaving the pair with little to do but keep an eye on the raw data, practice emergency drills and find ways to amuse themselves. This they did with gusto, reading in the library, working out in the onboard gym and sparring to keep their skills keen.

Regular updates were received from central, though these often took several weeks to reach them. News of what was happening on Earth became less important with each Wakening, the span of the years rendering the shifting politics and current events meaningless.

New media, however, was prized and every time fresh books or films were uploaded there would be a scramble to devour them with friendly arguments erupting over plots and potential meanings.

They sat and talked for hours; he seemed to delight in remembering things that he had told her before, catching her up. She began to fill in the blanks, each little piece reassembling a whole that she found achingly familiar.

Jaylin found in the captain a friend: kind, full of fun, with the ability to lift her no matter how down. Every so often she caught him looking at her when he thought she couldn’t see, his look a mixture of pain and wistfulness which wrenched her heart.

The weight of his hope and expectation seemed to push her further from him. She wondered sometimes, what it might be like, but she knew that what was mere curiosity to her would mean far too much to him. She couldn’t bridge it, even with the tickle at the back of her brain that pushed her towards him.

Then one day a message came for her from central, one she had been dreading since she had left Earth.

Message for First Mate JS Frescoe. We regret to inform you that your sister passed away peacefully at Cedar Oaks Nursing Home with all her family surrounding her. Our deepest sympathies for your loss.

Jaylin felt herself crumple in the library.

Not all her family with her. I wasn’t there.

Soolin had been her world growing up, and only a congenital heart murmur had stopped her sister from joining the Royal Space Force alongside her. Time seemed to freeze as she tried to process the message, curling tighter and tighter into a ball under the desk.

“First Mate Frescoe, are you well?” Jaylin ignored Eo’s voice, eyes shut fast.

“First Mate Frescoe, your bioreadings are showing an elevated heart rate and slight oxygen deprivation. Are you well?”

Images of her sister as she had last seen her flickered through her mind, young and proud as punch of her twin at her graduation ceremony three years ago. She barely noticed Eo flickering out on the screen.

Only three years ago, she had been twenty-five only three years ago. This couldn’t be happening.

Part of her rational mind knew that on Earth nearly eighty years had passed but she couldn’t see Soo like that, couldn’t imagine her feeble or stooped, liverspots marking her hands as lines marked her face, her centenary passed.

Why? Why did I choose this? This waste of a life?

Strong hands pulled her from under the table, scooping her up, drawing into a warm chest.

“Thank you Eo, that will be all.” His voice, deep and strong, reached her as though across a chasm. She was numb, floating in grey and recriminations. Her cheeks were wet, cold but she could not feel herself crying.

The captain’s hand went to her hair, stroking it, trying to calm her. Jaylin’s small, lithe frame fit into his broad chest and she let herself drift for a while listening to him murmur above her.

Finally she turned, looked up at him, his face achingly tender and eyes concerned as he held her.

“Why did we do this? We’re glorified security guards. The machines do all the work, we’re just the failsafe. Why did we think this was more important than our lives, than our families?” The anguish in her voice was searing.

There was a pause, while his jaw worked, light eyes distant in thought. “We thought we understood the price but we didn’t, not really.” A flash of remembered pain came and passed as he fingered the small scar at the corner of his lip.

Jaylin brushed her tips over it and raised her eyebrows in question.

Anything for a distraction.

The captain seemed to sense her thoughts. He grinned ruefully, “That was you, when I found out my ex-wife had passed. It was our first Wakening, brain embolism, she apparently was dead before she hit the floor. I went on a rampage and you hit me across the face with a wrench.”

Jaylin’s eyes widened, “I did what with a what?”

He laughed, the sound rich and comforting. “It was necessary. Believe me.”

The ache had receded somewhat, still there but less overwhelming. Just intolerable rather than crippling. He had a habit of soothing her. Jaylin sighed.

The captain was looking at her with those wishing eyes again. “Here, I know what we need.” He stood up, lifting her with him, as if he couldn’t let her go. It was nicer in his arms, like the news was not as real. They left the library and he carried her to the mess, setting her down gently on a couch.

She looked at him curiously as he began to pry open the back of one of the cupboards. His hand disappeared into the dark recess behind it and there was a small shout of triumph as he encountered what he had been looking for.

He pulled out a glass bottle, unlabelled, filled with a dark golden liquid.

“Well, at least this has had time to age,” he laughed. Jaylin gasped. Alcohol was strictly forbidden on the ship.

“How did you get it on board?”

The captain snickered, “Now that is something you don’t want to know,” earning him a wan smile.

He cracked open the seal and the heady aroma spilled out, hints of rum and raisin, vanilla and summer stone fruits underpinned by a rich, toasty malted scent. Grabbing a couple of disposables, he poured a generous measure into each.

Jaylin was apprehensive. Drinking had been limited to the occasional session in the park as a teenager and a few raucous nights with the other flyboys during training. Nothing like this. She thought of Soo and the drinks they wouldn’t get to share. It made sense to drink now.

I can only give it a go, right?

She knocked the measure back, the liquid burning her throat and making her choke, her eyes streaming.

“Shit, what the hell is this stuff, napalm?” Her voice was hoarse, painful.

The captain was choking as well, but in laughter. “Easy there Jay, you’re supposed to take some water with it.”

The burning receded, and Jaylin was left with a warm glow suffusing her limbs. Her head felt almost weightless. An aftertaste of spiced Christmas cake, almost a hint of marzipan settled on her tongue. It was certainly better than the cheap cider she had drunk as a kid.

Another measure, with a little water and a dry caution, “Try sipping it this time,” and she nodded. He folded onto the couch next to her with his own fresh drink, taking the smallest of sips and rolling it around his mouth appreciatively, making a small noise of pleasure. Jaylin wondered idly if that would be a sound she could tease out of him.

There was a lull as they sipped slowly, each lost in their own thoughts.

“Tell me about her.” The captain’s voice was loud in the silence but Jay didn’t respond at first.

She thought of her sister and told of how they used to pretend to be each other, swapping coloured hair ribbons as children to get out of lessons that either disliked. And confusing boys when they reached that age, teasing them about which sister had kissed them.

She spoke of how fearless she’d been, always reaching for the higher branch, the topmost ledge and how they had planned their lives around going to the Academy. How devastated Soolin had been when the medical had reported her arrhythmic heart. It had been the only way they had ever differed.

The captain was silent, sipping and nodding, letting her talk.

“She was a part of me and when I spoke of dropping out of the program, she was the driving force, telling me to stay and do it for her. We’d dreamt of meeting the Librans for too long. She promised to hold on until I got there and could send a message back, so she could share it with me.” Anger touched Jaylin’s face, “How could she promise that?”

Strong arms went round her and she leant back, happy for a moment to feel safe and warm. The captain’s voice was quiet, distant, “Nobody else really knows what this is like, to wake up and find half a lifetime passed, leaders, countries we knew gone and the world changed in ways we can barely fathom.”

Jay settled against him, nodding as he continued, “It’s like we’re in a bubble, you and I, and there’s no-one else that exists, no one that can matter. We miss births, weddings, funerals until even our own family are strangers to us and they get stranger with every wakening. But we still have each other. We understand.”

Jay felt like she was drifting with this man a solid presence at her back, so familiar and yet so unknown at the same time. The pain welled up again as he tailed off. She angled her face up and gently brushed her lips over his smooth jaw. He stiffened, breath held, hardly daring to move.

Hands came up to frame his face, soft against his skin and Jaylin pulled his head down towards her. Their lips met in a sigh and she drank him in, feeling him fold in around her. She could taste the malt on his tongue, the smokiness and something else that was all him.

His hands moved lower, ranging over her breasts and she moaned against his mouth, pushing into them.

She broke off, twisting in his lap to face him, panting.

Damn, but he’s pretty.

Up close his pleasant, easygoing profile seemed more feral. He opened his light eyes and smiled at her, pure happiness splashed against a backdrop of endless hunger. Jaylin shivered and the buzz from the alcohol started to fade.

Oh god, this had been a bad idea. There was only him for at least another ten months. How could she have started this?

As if he could hear her thoughts, the captain’s smile waned. She slid off his lap, the grief redoubling.

“Jay, shit. Come back.” His bluff features were painted with an urgency she didn’t share.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” Jaylin turned and started to walk away on unsteady legs, eyes closed against the hurt.

“Stop.” The command in his voice stopped her dead, as though her legs couldn’t move if she tried. “I know what you need, Jay. Trust me. Come back.”

She automatically turned, keeping her eyes shut tight, hardly able to comprehend the way her feet moved of their own accord.

What the hell was going on with her?

She didn’t dare look at him, afraid of what she’d see, worried she would respond.

“Kneel.”

Her body flowed into a remembered position, knees apart and ankles together, the backs of her hands brushing her kneecaps. This all felt so familiar, she remembered this feeling, this need. A flush prickled somewhere in her stomach, growing, spreading, a tingling buzz shooting through her bloodstream.

His hand reached out and cupped her cheek as he exhaled, relief evident. The voice, when he spoke, was quieter, almost a whisper.

“So you do remember this. Even if you don’t remember me, you remember this.”

She finally opened her eyes, confused and a little scared. “What the hell is going on?”

The silence pooled as he thought, “While your memories of me are gone, maybe your training remains.”

Jaylin opted for her default sarcasm, trying to claw back some control.

“Oh yes, I remember those classes. Right between sharpshooting and advanced navigation.”

He laughed and continued caressing her cheek, “We’ve had over three years on this ship and by the fourth month you were mine. By the time we went into the tanks on the last stretch, we were as close as two people can be. Do you know how much I’ve missed that these last weeks?”

“How come you remember all this? Why don’t I?”

The captain made a frustrated sound, trapped at the back of his throat. “I wish I knew. All of our memories are stored in the biotanks, so should the ship be taken while we’re under they can be erased, making us useless as a source of intelligence to marauders.” He was still stroking her cheek as he spoke. “Yours seem to have been corrupted. Eo can’t, won’t explain it.”

His hand was rough, warm against her skin.

She was enjoying that too much. She should…she should walk away. That sounded weak, even in her own head. She looked up at him smiling down at her, face lit up yet intense.

“Do you trust me, Jay? That I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you?”

Silence filled the mess as she considered his words, the floor cold on her knees. Her legs were trembling with the effort of staying upright but it seemed important to her that she not show it, though she couldn’t say why.

The last two months hurtled through her, the way he’d spent every day with her but not moved to claim her, even with no one to stop him.

Could she trust him?

“Yes.”

The triumph in his eyes was unmistakeable. His face grew darker somehow, as he stretched out his hand to her.

“Come.”

Jay took his hand and felt herself pulled up and into him. His frame dwarfed her diminutive one but it made her feel safe, not threatened. Jay found herself wishing that she had those memories, the missing ones, to know what was coming next.

What did they do, that her body responded so instinctively to his demands?

Nerves thrummed through her, mixing with the remnants of the unfamiliar alcohol, scorching a path across her body. They left their glasses on the table, the captain picking her up and carrying her through to his room. He dropped her on the bed, looking alert now, ready. Softly, he brushed the pad of his thumb over her lips before dipping his head to hers.

The kiss was gentle, exploratory, as if reacquainting himself with her. Trickles of desire welled up, smothering the pain just below the surface, relief coursing through Jaylin at the release.

She deepened the kiss, balling her fists into his hair and nipping at his bottom lip. That small sound of pleasure she had heard earlier was repeated against her lips and satisfaction surged through her.

The captain disentangled her hands and pinned them over her head nibbling back up the pale flesh of her upper arm until he met the shoulder. For a split second he paused there, poised, as if deciding something. Then he struck, biting down onto the soft skin of her neck at the junction with her shoulder.

Jaylin cried out, eyes shutting, the pain sending waves of pleasure crashing over her, drowning out conscious thought. She struggled just enough against his grip on her wrists to feel the binding as he nipped softly down her chest. Memories crashed back, no visuals, no voices, but sensations tearing through her.

I know this pain, this restraint. Oh, I’ve missed this.

She opened her eyes in wonder and the certainty slowly drained away as she frantically tried to hold onto it.

He reached the neck of her shirt and growled, sending shockwaves of desire straight to Jaylin’s core. Buttons popped as he tore it open, releasing her hands in the process.

Immediately, she reached for him again and he chuckled, low, “Wait here, pet.” That last word had her shaking, though she wasn’t sure of the reason. It appeared her body had its own agenda and her brain wasn’t going to let her in on its logic any time soon.

He returned quickly, holding a coil of soft rope in his hands, usually used in their sparring sessions. “Trust me?” His grin took her by surprise and she let her fluttering libido answer for her.

“Yes.”

“You have no idea what it does to me to hear that from those lips of yours, pet.” And there was that word again, setting off the trembling heat cascading through her body.

He took her hand and wrapped the rope around it, causing her to stiffen, almost push him away. He looked at her, concerned, “Close your eyes for me.”

Jaylin did, her whole body tense. He wrapped the rope around her wrist and created a knot, snug but not tight. The tension drained from her body.

She remembered this, too.

He laughed low. “Keep those eyes closed. Your body remembers even if your mind is fighting it.”

It was almost easy to follow his instructions, floating in a grey space while she listened to him move round the room. Rough, warm fingers removed her shirt, unhooking the bra with an ease born of practice. The fabric rustled as it was pulled over the binding. Her other wrist was roped and she felt herself secured to the bedpost.

She tested them, pulling against them slightly. There was only a few centimetres of give.

“Now to enjoy you, pet. I love those hands of yours but they do tend to get in the way.” His breath was light against her breast, his head but inches away by her guess.

Hands, large and warm, pressed firmly into her sides and stroked down to her hips. Jaylin bucked towards the warm breeze teasing her nipples, trying to find the source.

The waiting was killing her, the bindings rendering her helpless to move things on. She could feel her heartrate speeding up, sending blood pumping to every part of her body, her breath hitching. The darkness behind her lids accentuated every sensation, every small exhalation onto her chest.

“Please, oh gods, please do something.” Her voice sounded thin and reedy to Jaylin’s ears but it seemed to please the captain as he made a satisfied sound.

“Impatient as ever, Jay. I do things in my own time, you’ll find that much out.” Strong hands moved back up her lithe body, thumbs pressing up her sternum, until they cupped her breasts. A tongue flicked out, darting lightly over a nipple and away, the slight touch making her jerk towards him.

Jaylin could feel sparks dancing over her body from his touch, feeding a growing fire smouldering in her stomach.

Dammit, how does he know this body so well?

Strong hands smoothed back down over her stomach to where the heat pooled between her thighs. The sound of a zipper being pulled down was loud in the quiet room, and Jay felt fingers tuck inside her waistband, pulling the trousers down, the fabric sliding to the floor.

There was another pause and the captain’s voice was quiet, “Gods, but I’ve missed you.” The naked emotion made her tremble and she opened her eyes.

He was stood at the foot of his bed looking down on her, a curious expression on his face, like hope and desire and need rolled into one.

She wanted to see that look every day.

Jaylin’s head still spun slightly from the unfamiliar alcohol but she had never been so certain of anything in her whole life. There was an almost audible mental click and the last of her unease melted away.

The subtle relaxation must have been visible as the captain smiled and ran his hands back up her legs, leaning on the bed. From where she lay, head propped up by pillows, she could see the way the ivy dark trousers moulded to his powerful legs, pouring over his butt. A visual of those legs suspended above her, muscles working as he thrusted, flashed through her mind and she moaned softly. She couldn’t tell whether it was memory or desire.

He moved up the bed until his face touched hers, lips brushing across her cheekbone. Jaylin tilted her head to reach him but he evaded almost effortlessly.

“You’ll have your turn pet, I promise.” A hand moved between her legs, drifting over smooth lips. Every fibre of Jay’s body shook with the effort of staying still, desperate for him to keep going.

A finger dipped into the soaked folds, swiftly passing over her nub and out again, wrenching a groan from somewhere deep inside.

He chuckled, rubbing the finger across her mouth. Jaylin could taste herself, musky and strong as he slipped it in between her lips, pressing down on her tongue. He replaced it with his own, hungrily consuming her, his fingers moving back down her body, stoking her into a frenzy.

It was hard to focus, the sensations rippling through her, building a white heat that threatened to overwhelm. Just as the wave crested, he moved his hand away, the feeling subsiding.

“No!” The shocked word was out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

The captain’s eyes glittered, “In my time, I said, not yours. I told you, I want to enjoy you.”

His fingers went back to their relentless stroking, too slow to do anything but bring her fractionally closer to the edge. Jay pulled against the rope binding her wrists, feeling her orgasm swell again.

And again his hand moved just as she was sure she was coming, curses dropping from her mouth, making him laugh. Over and again he played her, bringing her to the edge just to let it recede, denying her the release. Jaylin lost count, floating in a mire of desperate need. Her whole body was on fire, demanding a satisfaction she couldn’t quite reach.

His touch became a torture she couldn’t twist away from, drenched in sweat. When it reached the point that even the slightest pass with his finger had her crying out, he stopped, stripping at speed.

Eyes burned as he drank her in, flushed and heaving on his bed. He released her hands, the rope still trailing from her wrists and picked her up. Warmth seeped through from his chest, and then he was lying down, holding her atop him.

Jaylin struggled for air, the friction of her groin against his chest sending small, shuddering quakes through her.

His own need was palpable, even as he paused, running his hands from her shoulders back down to her waist. She stared at him through lidded eyes, too lost in her aching craving to do more than let him move her.

Hands gripped around her waist and lifted her further back. She opened her legs and slid smoothly onto him, feeling him fill her, his groan of satisfaction sounding through her whole body. A small grind and Jay realised that she had the upper hand, dragging herself back towards her orgasm.

A finger tapped her nose and she came back to the present to see him smiling.

“In my time, pet, I won’t say it again. Unless you don’t want to come?”

Her breath caught.

Fuck, no. He wouldn’t?

One look at his steady eyes was enough to convince Jaylin not to push it.

He started with slow, sure strokes, arching up into her, a moan bubbling up as the sensations started to ripple through her once more. She set up a counterpoint, slamming down onto him with every thrust, thighs burning.

He growled, low and grabbed the rope around her wrists, tilting her forward towards him so close their noses nearly touched, arms stretched behind her, the angle leaving her no room to manoeuvre. The speed of his thrusts increased and Jaylin could feel colours swirling behind her eyelids, breaths coming short and fast, every sensation narrowing down to a single, intense point between her legs.

His command in her ear came hard and fast.

“Come.”

Jaylin’s body responded for her, crashing over, muscles rippling as she was drowned in pleasure. Somewhere, she could hear a high cry as she came, followed by a lower one as she clenched around him.

Slowly it lifted and she was left, trembling on her captain’s chest, breathing ragged. He loosened her arms and she stretched them, smiling, hands going up to cup his face in a sleepy kiss.

“Thank you.” Jaylin meant it.

His light eyes regarded her intently, as though trying to memorise every detail.

“Rest, pet. You need it.” He smoothed her hair down and she let her head drop onto his shoulder, his arms wrapped tight around her. She could feel him softening, still inside her.

This, this was safe.

It was the last thing she remembered before sleep claimed her.

*****

Darkness unfolded endlessly in all directions, murky, billowing clouds of gloom that wrapped Jaylin in banks of fog. There was no thought, no awareness beyond here. She was weightless, drifting.

From across a distance, there was sound, just at the edges of consciousness.

…finally…correct patterns…even with memory loss… The sound was deep, melodic, familiar. She strove to hear better but there was no way to, no urgency possible in this floating place.

Another tone, higher. …needs more reason…not quite there…strong…

…fighting it…increase the dos… Terse, worried? The darkness started to spin, slowly at first and gradually speeding up, sucking her down like water down the plug, memory fading with awareness.

*****

Pain thundered in her skull, nausea roiling.

So this is what happened when you hadn’t drunk in 80 years. Gods.

Jaylin rolled over. There was something. Something important. Memory of her sister’s death slammed home and she sprinted to the toilet, the remains of the drinks coming up in sour spatters.

Soo. What the hell, sis? Fuck.

She draped over the bowl, grief swallowing her and sobbed. The tears wound down, her throat raw.

Memories trickled back in, as if taunting her. The captain’s mouth on hers, that commanding tone that had her body reacting in ways she couldn’t even begin to explain, begging him to touch her. Thick and fast they came, and even now she felt herself responding.

A wave of guilt crashed over her.

She had only found out that Soo died yesterday. Who went off and fucked someone when their sister died? She still didn’t even know his name.

Part of her knew that wasn’t fair but the anger flowed, syrupy and strong, trying to find a target.

The door to the bathroom opened and the captain walked in, rushing to her when he saw her clinging to the bowl.

It was all his fault.

She knew that wasn’t fair either but she couldn’t seem to get past the rancid taste in her mouth.

Her hands sprung up automatically, warding him off when he reached her, “Don’t touch me.”

The captain stepped back sharply, “I’m sorry, should have insisted you drank some water last night before you fell asleep. How’re you feeling?”

Jaylin glared up into his concerned face, “No, I think you did quite enough last night, thanks.”

She pulled herself up by the seat and flushed. This was good, someone else to hurt instead of thinking about the pain simmering under the surface. The mirror above the sink reflected her puffy eyes and hollow cheeks as she rinsed her mouth out.

He moved in behind her, spinning her by her shoulders, water spraying, “What’s that supposed to mean, Jay?” His eyes were worried, mouth tight. Yes, this was much better.

“You know exactly what I mean. What, were you just waiting for me to have a rough day so you could ply me with drink, drag me to bed and play your messed up games?” The fury poured off her small stature in waves.

A little niggling thought was trying to worm its way through, but it was drowned out by the thundering hammerstroke in her head and the grief that was just waiting in the wings to pull her down. Anything to avoid that.

The pain in his face nearly made her break before he drew himself up to his full height, fists clenched, voice cold, “That’s not how it played out and you know that, Frescoe.” That last word was clipped short and spat at her. “If you want to hide and get angry with me, fine. But at least take responsibility for your own damn actions.”

With that he stalked out, slamming the door behind him.

Why don’t I feel better? I was supposed to feel better.

Jaylin slid back to the floor, eyes prickling with fresh tears, wanting to call out. There was no voice left to call him back with.

*****

The next few days passed in awkward silence, the minor jobs done and little more. Every time he pushed past her in the corridor, Jaylin found herself unable to look her friend in the eye. Guilt threatened to choke her every time she saw him but she couldn’t seem to force herself to talk. It mixed with the grief still swirling in her stomach, making her feel sick. She was miserable.

The captain, on the other hand, was all smooth professionalism, never a crack in his façade, nor a second longer spent in her presence than was necessary. The most Jay ever saw was a kind of tired disappointment which tore something inside. She didn’t think she could miss anyone she spent every day with as much as she missed the man she had Wakened to.

She walked into the library, where she retreated to most days now. Logging into the system, a message flashed.

What do central want now?

Even her thoughts were sullen.

She clicked on the symbol and a message popped up on the screen.

Jay-Jay,

So, this is going to be weird for you to read. Gods, it's weird enough to write, knowing you'll get this far later than the official military notification you've set up.

So, I'm dead. Made it there before you, like always, sis. You always were a rung behind even though you ended up higher than I ever dreamt we could go.

I've missed you. It's been an odd life, wondering how you are, only getting an update every few decades. You sound so young. You are still so young. I don't envy you that much, no matter that I've been officially vaporised by now.

So, here's the crack. Get over it. Right now, you are making life hell for everyone and who on earth or space is that helping? No, don't you be asking how I know. I know. And you're an idiot. When you reach my age, you learn to deal with loss, learn to cherish what you still have instead of dwelling on the past. That's so much harder than it sounds, until suddenly, it's easier.

So, onto my accumulation of worldly wisdom?

Try taking a couple of chances sister mine. I always pushed you when we were young, well when I was young at least, so consider this your final boot from beyond the grave, (that sounded reasonably melodramatic, don't you think?). You might be a fighter but you rarely give anything a chance.

Don't spend your whole life on those ships. You'll just waste it. Don't bother coming back to Earth. The place is so different now that you wouldn't recognise it and walking round feeling like a stranger in your own home will make your heart break and you're not old enough yet to figure out how to deal with that.

Find someone who puts up with you at your worst and still walks on fire for you. Do at least five truly stupid things. And create a life for yourself, with everything that entails.

Know that you were loved. Mom and Dad always had a celebration on your birthday, every year until they died. Even when I couldn't make it, even though it was my birthday too. They never stopped talking about you and neither have I, star sister.

And always remember, follow what makes you happy. You deserve that. We all deserve that.

Anyway, this is going to cost over half my life savings and much as I do love you, our family needs a proper knees up to get over my passing. They'll be celebrating it for weeks. Sue me, I grew cantankerous. I know why Nan used to hit people with her stick 'by mistake'. You'll find yourself putting up with less the older you get.

I'll leave the rest up to you to find out. Now go apologise to whatever poor sod you've been pissing off. Oh, don't gape at me Kevin, I'm far past old enough to be cussing whenever I please. Oh for goodness sakes, don't put that bit in, you idiot! Bloody kids.

Never mind. Goodnight Jay-Jay, and remember to do it right.

Soo x

Jaylin swallowed, the lump in her throat threatening to choke her. Tears had streamed down her face, though she hadn’t notice them. Interfering cow. Never could resist having the last word.

The chair creaked as she sat back, fingers interlaced behind her head. …go apologise… The words drifted through her head, awkward and painful. Go apologise. For accusing her friend of sexual assault. How was that conversation even supposed to start?

How would it end? Jaylin’s eyes closed as a visceral memory surfaced, the soft pressure on her wrists, a burning between her legs and his hands, constantly stroking, holding her on a razor wire edge, winding her tighter and tighter…

A throat cleared behind her, guttural in the humming silence of the library.

“Sleeping, Frescoe?” Her cheeks burned as his calm, disinterested voice poured over her from behind. “If not, I have need of you in the hold. There appears to be an anomaly.”

Wiping her face, she spun the chair and jumped out. “Sorry sir, right away.”

Her pad beeped, the data from the forward air compressors streaming down the screen. There. Yes, that was definitely strange. The differentials were slightly out of whack and the computer hadn’t picked up on it. This was going to be a tricky job.

She looked up but he had already gone. Her heart twinged. Sorting out the compressors might be the easy bit.

*****

Jaylin found him hunkered on his heels in front of a small monitor, a slight frown creasing his forehead as he struggled to see the numbers so close to the floor. His large frame seemed a few sizes too big for the space. It would have been funny if she hadn’t felt so nervous about talking to him.

The anxiety at the thought was cloying, building, taking on a life of its own. What would he say? What if he refused her apology, if things went on like this for the rest of the trip? An eternity stretched out ahead of her, without anyone. Without him.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Here, let me.” A curt nod and the captain straightened up as she squatted down, her tiny, lithe frame far better suited to read the lower monitors. Her dark hair spread over her shoulders and into her eyes so she pushed it away, tying it back with a muttered curse.

“Ok, air delivery rate is currently standing a little low at 3720cfm but the discharge pressure is still at a healthy 602psi.” There was a grunt as he tapped something into his own datapad.

“Right, stay there, Frescoe. Just bringing the temperature and humidity stats up, see if anything could be affecting it.” A pause as Jaylin’s thighs began to burn from being stuck in the same position for so long.

“No, no, they are both standard which is why Eo isn’t picking up on anything wrong.” His voice was distant as if running calculations in his head. Jaylin took out her own datapad.

How the hell am I going to start this conversation?

The air seemed thick, dense and she was pretty sure it wasn’t just her own anxiety. She ran some figures. “Atmospheric pressure is slightly higher than normal down here, sir.” There was more tapping above her.

“Yes, yes, that could be it. Keep an eye on the numbers while I jack into Eo.”

She focussed back onto the small screen, legs screaming with the effort. An almost subtle shift in the air around her and her ears no longer felt like they wanted to pop. The numbers started to rise; Jaylin called them out to the captain as they flicked upwards.

Seriously, how the hell am I going to explain my behaviour to him?

He moved up behind her so close the heat radiated off his legs, taking the strain from her thighs which shuddered their release. She thought she could almost feel a hand brushing over her hair but the sensation was too faint to be sure.

“Shit, 4021, shade too high there, cap.”

There was another grunt of effort as he twisted a valve and they started to fall slowly, before the whine of the shut off halted them.

A hand appeared over her shoulder and Jay grasped it, the casual strength heaving her back to her feet.

His hazel eyes were distant as he nodded down to her. “Right, I’m going to sit down with Eo, try and figure out why the pressure was a little up down here. As you were, Frescoe.”

He turned to leave and panic set in, her hand darting out to grasp his shoulder. “Wait.”

The captain stopped and turned back to her, voice level and eyebrows raised. “Yes, Frescoe?”

Now or never.

“Um, I, just wanted to say that I was sorry.” His scrutiny was unnerving, unwavering eyes locked onto hers. Something shifted in the depths but she couldn’t tell what.

“For what I said, it was wrong of me. I’m sorry.” The silence stretched between them, uncomfortable for Jay at least. He seemed fine. Finally he nodded, that measuring look still on his face.

“Very well, thank you, Frescoe.” He walked away.

Stunned, Jay watched his broad back disappearing between the pipework. That was one outcome she hadn’t expected. She set off after him, running up the metal ladder and hauling herself back into the carpeted hallway. His broad frame was almost at the corner, just passing his quarters.

“Really? That’s it?” The sound bounced off the walls, loud in the quiet space. Jay let the trapdoor fall closed behind her, “I said I was sorry! What else can I do?”

His footsteps faltered and he turned to look at her as she walked towards him.

“I was upset, I’d just lost my last link back on Terra and I was vomiting to boot.” Frustration bubbled up to the surface, making her words sharp. “I know I shouldn’t have said those things but seriously, cut me some slack, Cap. I wasn’t in the best place.”

He was nodding, light eyes solemn. “I have been, gave you the space to deal with it as you obviously didn’t appreciate my help. I had hoped you would apologise a little sooner than this.” He snorted, “I thought I was going to have to wait until the next Wakening at this rate.”

His broad frame filled the narrow hall in front of her as she came to a stop, shoulder brushing the wood panelling. His sandy hair just curled onto the collar of his tunic. How had she not noticed that he had stopped cutting it? Another memory bubbled up, her fingers running through light hair, snipping it regulation short, the hard wood of a chair beneath her, legs wrapped round a broad frame sat on the floor in front, laughing and swatting as a hand ran up her bare thigh…

It trailed off again and Jay moaned quietly in frustration. “I keep remembering fragments. Bits and pieces. Of me…and you, I guess. Brief tableaus, moments suspended in time and I want…”she faltered, her voice subsiding.

The captain had gone perfectly still, a half step away from her. His voice was rough. “What? What is it you want, Jay?”

Him. She wanted him. Them. What she’d lost.

When she spoke it was a hushed whisper, the carpet fibres vivid in her rapt inspection, “I don’t know.”

Cop out.

She could hear him closing the gap as he spoke, his voice a sigh on her cheek as he tucked a stray lock behind her ear, “That’s not good enough this time, pet.” His fingers tilted her chin up until she met his eyes, hard and unyielding as rock. “Give it another go. What. Do. You. Want?”

Jaylin backed up, feeling the hard wood of the wall behind her. His heat, his sheer closeness caught her, her chest tight. There was that damn word again, sending a hot spike of sensation straight through her, settling between her legs and thrumming, moisture dampening her thighs.

Challenge lit his hazel eyes, an unspoken dare. Anticipation whet the churning in her stomach.

“Everything,” she breathed. “I want it all.”

A chuckle and he took her elbow in his hand, spinning her fast and pushing her up against the wall, her cheek pressed against the cool hardness of the wood. Jay’s heartbeat rocketed as he twisted her arm up into the small of her back, securing her, a meaty thigh pushed between hers, his heat scalding her back.

The captain’s breath tickled her neck, sending small wisps of air down her ear, “That’s my girl.”

Mind racing, Jay tried to focus on inhaling even as she grew wet. What the fuck was wrong with her?

A hand pushed between her legs, running lightly up and over the fabric covering her clit. She bucked, moaning and he chuckled, a hot sound in the quiet of the corridor. She could feel muscles bunch and then the ground fell away, hauled up as easily as a sack of sand, coming to rest against his chest. His scent, raw and personal, surrounded her, sending her arousal higher. There was no way he couldn’t know how wet she was now.

The smirk on his lips told her that he knew exactly what he was doing to her as well, gods damn it. Her back thudded against a hard surface while his free hand blindly scrambled for the handle, his mouth glued to hers, teeth dragging on her lips. The door clicked and gave under his touch and they stumbled into the darkened room.

Jay reached up, her fingers twining into those soft curls and tried to pull him in, even closer, moulding herself to him.

He pulled away in the dim light of the bedroom. “So you definitely want this then?”

“Yes, please, yes.”

He chuckled again. “You’re certain about this?”

His free hand roamed over the curve of her buttocks as he held her, fingers pressing between the cleft, sending sparks dancing across her body.

“Yes, I’m certain. For gods’ sake, Cap.” He’d let her drop onto the bed, sure fingers pulling her shirt over her head. Her own fingers seemed clumsy, thick as they fumbled at the buttons of his shirt. He found a nipple and pinched, and there was that pleasure flooding her system again, her sharp gasp softening into a needy moan.

“No, y’know I’m not sure that you do want this. You think you’re going to change your mind again tomorrow?” Both his hands were on her, pulling down her trousers without even bothering with the zipper. How on earth was he so efficient? She was still trying to fit his third button through its hole.

“No, I want this. I want you so badly right now.”

Jay gave up and pulled at the shirt, the rest of the buttons coming away..

“Right now is precisely the issue, Frescoe. What about tomorrow, or next week, or next Wakening?” He was half knelt on the bed, predatory and grinning at her, teeth gleaming in the half light.

She grinned back, “Yes, yes, I’ll want you tomorrow, and next week, and every Wakening until you’re old and grey. Which should be what, one, two more?”

He laughed, a rich, rolling sound. “Oh, you’ll pay for that mouth of yours, pet.”

He landed heavily on the bed next to her, his gaping shirt showing the taut muscles lining his stomach. With a swift move, he heaved her facedown over his knee, ignoring her startled yelp.

The soft fabric of his breeches brushed against her stomach and there was a sharp sensation of pain a split second before the crack of his hand sounded.

Heat spread across Jay’s buttocks, an almost pleasurable burning sensation that reached every part of her, growing with every additional slap. Each one seemed placed in the same spot, the pain redoubling.

Eight, nine and it became too much to bear. Her hair was covering her face, catching the corner of her mouth every time she gasped and the blood was rushing to her head, sending it spinning. Knees weren’t the most comfortable things to have digging into your stomach either, especially punctuated by the stinging pain of the slaps. Jaylin wriggled and his other arm tightened across her back as he chuckled again.

“My time, not yours. You do seem to have trouble remembering that one.”

The slaps kept coming and she exhaled sharply. “I’ll remember, I’ll remember! Gods, please, Cap. I need up.”

Two more and then a final one, right on the tender skin where thighs met buttocks raising a yowl of protest, and the captain pulled her back up to sit next to him, laughing at her wince.

“Old? Grey?”

She giggled softly as she knelt up, the only position her butt didn’t scream in protest at, her fingers working to pull his shirt off his broad shoulders.

“Hey! I said you had three or four more good years in you! I was being nice!”

He growled, an exasperated sound of suppressed mirth and she yowled in response as he pulled her up, facing him in his lap, his fingers kneading into the tender skin beneath.

“This insubordination to a superior officer is something we’ll have to work on. Hard.” That last was highlighted by a firm dig into the bruised flesh. She gasped, laughing, the sound subsiding into a sigh as his teeth found her throat and gently nipped. Hands brushed up the thighs spread wide over his legs and Jay had to grab his shoulders when sure fingers swept over the juices coating her clit, sending sparks rocketing through her.

His voice was a hungry murmur. “Though you do respond so well to discipline, it would be almost a shame to beat you into obedience.”

A smile spread across Jay’s face. She leant in close, her fine, dark hair falling over his shoulders and rolled her pelvis over the stiffening cock wrapped in his breeches. He groaned, that small sound of pleasure she loved to hear.

“Not enough discipline in the world, Cap.” Her fingers pulled at his waistband and he joined her, pushing them down, letting her roll again over the hot flesh sliding between her legs. Every drag sent her arousal higher, the sensation dancing over her skin and catching her breath.

“Is that a challenge, Frescoe?”

“Absolutely, Captain Gibson.” The flat, sardonic tone was somewhat ruined by her sharp gasp as he pushed her back with one hand while leaning in to bite down gently on a nipple.

“Stay back.” The muscles in her stomach rippled and tensed as she tried to keep her balance, forcing her to clamp around the fingers he thrust inside her, the pad of his thumb flicking over her clit in double time.

The residual burning of her butt cheeks added into the potent mix and a hand went to her shoulder to steady her as she came suddenly, crying out. He slowed, the occasional flicker of his fingers giving rise to little jerking shudders.

“I didn’t say you could come, did I, pet?” With that he pulled her back up towards him, driving inside her, filling her, the sensation too much to handle after her orgasm. She moaned, words lost, and he drove in again.

“Now it’s your turn. Roll your hips the way you did before and make me come.”

Jaylin’s eyes flew open, “I’m not sure that’s possible right now.” Her voice was husky, faint, not like her at all.

He was grinning back at her, toothily. “Should have thought of that before you came on my fingers then, shouldn’t you?”

She moaned and tried a small roll, the sensations rippling through her. Another one, his hands coming down to cup her buttcheeks, an amused expression on his face. A third and she mewled quietly, trying to minimise the contact on her oversensitive nub but it was no use. Every pass dragged her over his coarse hair, forcing her to clamp erratically around his length buried deep inside. It was tortuous and breathtaking at the same time.

She gave in and stopped fighting the rising tide, letting it wash over her as she swayed, each thrust deeper than the last. Her head dropped onto his shoulder, his hands wrapped around her ribs, thumbs skimming faintly over her nipples. His breathing was becoming more laboured, but she could barely hear it over the sound of her blood roaring in her ears.

His voice burned in her ear, “Faster, pet.”

Picking up the pace almost proved her undoing. “Gods, I’m going to come.”

“No.” His firm tone made her hesitate. “Keep moving pet, but you don’t come without me this time.”

Hips rolled again as she slammed home repeatedly, that wave of sensation peaking, cresting, holding off desperately until she felt him swell inside her, his voice triumphant.

She came hard, the wave crashing down, leaving her floating with his arms wrapped around her as he collapsed back onto the bed.

Small heaves brought her round, his chest shaking. She cocked a questioning eye.

Her captain was grinning back down at her amidst his laughter.

“So you can follow some orders, eh Frescoe?”

*****

It was still dark in the room when she woke, the captain a comforting, warm presence at her side.

“I need a drink.”

There was a snort of laughter from under the covers next to her.

“Of water. Water. I’m not sure we should ever break out that bottle of moonshine again.” Jaylin heaved her legs over the side of the bed, their slight tremble making her grin.

A pained yelp sounded loudly behind her as she stood. “Moonshine?! You’d compare a thirty year old Speyside with moonshine?!” The captain rose from the covers like an indignant god, sweat cooling on the muscles of his torso, trickling down the soft V. “Ok, pet, that is very definitely a disciplinary offence.”

Jay shrieked at his aggrieved expression and ran into the hallway, laughing so hard she almost couldn’t hear him behind her. She was nearly to the corner of the corridor when she felt arms latch around her, pulling her back into a warm chest, shaking with mirth.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s not moonshine!”

“Too late, pet.” The growl came just by her ear, tinged with humour. “I told you, you’ll pay for that mouth of yours every time.” Fingers cupped her breasts, nipples drawn out and pinched sending a spike of pure sensation straight through her. Her needy gasp elicited a chuckle as they sunk to the floor.

Jaylin wriggled in his arms until she was facing him, planting a kiss on his surprised lips. “I get the feeling I might rather enjoy that, Cap.” A firm thigh cushioned her from the scratchy carpet and she ran her fingers over his cheekbones, his broad back leant against the wall.

Deja vu. She’d sat here like this before, with him. It was all so familiar. He was going to raise a hand to lift…

Fingers touched her temple, lifting her hair over her shoulder. Jaylin’s eyes widened. It was so close. She focussed on his face: the light eyes, the generous mouth, the bluff features, the hints of grey at his hairline.

“What is it? Are you ok, Jay?” The concern in his voice was distracting, she knew she was so close to…

Something clicked and images cascaded, superimposed over his anxious features, rational thoughts skittering across the flat expanse of her mind like marbles on glass. For a split second, an eternity, she could see their years together on the ship, the endless training sessions back on Terra, naked bodies wrapped round each other. Blood pumped and laughter echoed.

She smiled, “I know you, Scott.”

His eyes widened and the corridor spasmed around her, the panelled walls and carpeted floors replaced for an instant by clean white lines. Then everything was back and the floor came up to meet her.

*****

The first sensation was weightlessness. Then warmth, as of a body against her, two arms tight as metal wrapped around her, under legs and back. His scent, more familiar than her own, filled her and she nuzzled into him. He was here. She was safe.

A notion of speed. A door burst open somewhere over his shoulder. He was shouting but she couldn’t hear what he was saying. The cold metal plate of a skulljack snicked into place, pain tore through, then blessed darkness rose up to claim her.

She floated in the dim light. Not light, exactly, with an absence of any source, like it was coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. Voices came to her in the darkness and she felt herself dragged towards them, the sounds becoming clearer.

-yes, quite extraordinary, I agree.That was the deep, harmonious baritone she’d heard before, hadn’t she?

The strength of her fantasy to explain the patterns laid down is more than strong enough. Her memories broke through. It’s unheard of at this stage, after the repression layering; the work is complete. Female, this one, proud.

Another voice cut in, colder, And yet the patterns are untested. We must be sure.

The voices faded, replaced by pain and she floated once more.

*****

Six months had passed since her collapse and life had settled into a comforting routine on the ship. Reveille at six, then sparring in the gym, working out the kinks. Ships checks over lunch followed by drills and training, with knock-off at eight.

Time meant little on the ship, the twenty-four schedule just a hangover from Terra. The ship dimmed light at taps, 10pm, and brightened again at ‘six’. It took some getting used to at the start but it provided a comforting sense of familiarity in a place with no sunrise.

The day it all fell apart started much like any other. The light gradually brightened on one of the panelled walls, simulating dawn. Sleep clung like tattered rags to the corners of Jay’s mind, disturbing echoes of conversations she couldn’t understand. A heavy weight was slung across her chest, warmth seeping into her skin from the broad frame wrapped around her.

She stretched, her muscles knotted from the night before. A small smile played around the edges of her lips as she swallowed, feeling the ache in her throat.

Images flashed behind her eyes, the restraints biting into her wrists while she knelt before her captain, arms behind her back, his hands wrapped in her hair as he thrust into her mouth, retreating only enough for a short gasp before slamming home again. The way they had both cried out as he had taken her from behind, the angle so deep it had almost hurt each time he bottomed out.

She could feel the warmth building in her core again, lazy tendrils of heat reacting to the firm length pressing into her thigh.

A hand sleepily quested upwards, finding her breast and pinching gently as teeth nipped into her neck. Jay wriggled back against the hard body behind her, feeling his cock swell in response.

There was a mumble near her ear, “You’re insatiable, you know that?”

She laughed, low in the hushed room, reaching behind her to palm the solid flesh in her small hand. “And whose fault is that, Cap?”

He groaned out a sound of frustration in response as her fingers tightened round his cock, dragging out a slow rhythm.

“Enough, pet” His tone was firm as he grasped her hands, rolling her over and pinning them to the bed above her head. She pouted back, and raised an eyebrow. He was gorgeous like this: curls tousled from sleep, face half annoyed, half amused and all hungry as he bent over her. She wrapped both legs around his back, trying to tempt him closer.

He chuckled, grasping both wrists in one large hand and used the other to easily press her hips back into the bed. A knee pushed her thighs apart again, and Jay could feel him poised right at her entrance, hard flesh pressing into soft folds. His head dipped towards hers, his breath tickling her ear.

“What do you want, pet? Tell me.” Hoarse, urgent.

Desire crashed over her in a hot wave and she moaned, trying to push against him, to get just a little more purchase.

“You. Inside me. Now.” He was so close, why wasn’t he? Oh, shoot, yeah.

“Please?”

A rough chuckle. “That’s better,” and then he was in her, filling her, chest mere centimetres from hers as his mouth hungrily staked its claim.

Jay let go, his thrusts carrying her until he released her hands, pulling her legs up so her hips were lifted. Each time he drove in now, she felt herself unravel a little more, gulping air as the sensations spiralled down to one, white-hot core.

“Oh gods, please.” She couldn’t quite get the words out, they were stuck in another place, along with conscious thought. She took a moment to focus around the relentless thrusts. There was something she had to do before she could let go.

“Please, oh gods, please may I come?” Breathy, insubstantial, Jay waited on his response, trying desperately to ignore the cresting wave of pleasure. Just a second more. One second more.

His light eyes were smiling, as he kissed her urgently. “Good girl, yes, come, come with me.”

Sharp relief and the wave broke, washing out thought and reason, leaving a tideline of satisfaction in its wake. Seconds later her captain joined her, juddering and mouthing her name. The temperature of the air seemed to cool as trembling slowed and breathing calmed, the weight of his body pressing her into the mattress as he collapsed..

A shaky laugh from near her ear as a hand pushed her fine hair from her forehead. “Morning, love.”

She laughed back, “Morning, Cap.” He rolled off and sprawled across the bed, limbs still tangled with hers.

The problems started in the shower, after their workout. Jay was stood under the raining heat, sallow skin tinged pink, wishing for some real Terran lather instead of the thin cleansing spray. Over the heavy spattering of the falling water, she could hear the captain whistling, raising a smile.

I wish I could remember his name again.

After her collapse, he’d stood over her and made her promise not to make another attempt to access those lost memories. The fear in his hazel eyes had been enough to stop her trying too hard but it was so tempting, knowing that they were simmering just under the surface.

The whistling got louder as the door snicked open, making Jay jump. Cold air followed, the steam swirling in response. Goosebumps prickled up and down her body at the sudden intrusion. She rolled her eyes at his smug look and appreciative grin.

“C’mon Frescoe, much as I love you disrobed, we’ve got a schedule to keep and you’re running late. Bilge in ten, ok?”

“Roger that, Cap. Now get out. Or get in. Either way, close the damn door.”

There was a belly laugh as he walked out, leaving the door wide open.

“I should write you up for disrespect, First Mate. You know the disciplinary punishment for that.” The sound of drawers opening and closing in the bedroom filtered through as the dryers in the shower started up.

She lightly fingered the fading welts on her butt and smiled as she called out. “In which case, I’ll just keep right on, Cap. Can’t have you going soft on me.”

“Double.”

“Oh no! Someone as venerable as you should not be overexerting yourself.”

“Did you just call me both old and feeble? Definitely triple.”

Jaylin groaned theatrically under her breath, “Damn him. Alright, alright, oh Lord and Master!”

His voice trailed in faintly from the corridor, “Sarcasm is included in insubordination Frescoe, add it to the tally for tonight.”

How on earth had he heard…?

The ship swung sideways, violently, the lights dimming then brightening to almost painful levels, a shrill siren sounding. Jay was pitched to the side of the shower unit, pain blooming from where her temple met the corner of a dryer.

What the…?

Heavy footsteps got louder as she dragged herself out of the busted unit, head throbbing. The floor seemed tilted at an odd angle for a few seconds as she crawled for the door frame before settling back with a crash. There was a grunt from near the bed as it snapped back down, the thud of a body crumpling to the floor.

The captain.

Jaylin pulled herself to her feet, pushing damp hair back from her eyes, her hand coming away sticky and red. No time to think on that now. She couldn’t tell whether that swaying was the ship or the crack to her skull. Nausea was pushed down through sheer force of will as she hurried to the far side of the bed.

“Eo, report.” Her voice snapped in the din of the alarms.

The captain was slouched on the floor, groaning, holding his head in his hands, his broad frame leant against the bed for support. A splinter through the bedpost showed where he had been thrown. She ran fingers over his skull, slapping his hands away when he winced, checking for broken bones. Clear. Thank the gods.

The screen on the far wall blinked several times as the female form tried to stabilise.

“CCCHHHH…age to the shi…CCCHHHH…uel leaking into the hol…CCCHHHH…ostasis units losing pow…CCCHHHH.

“Where do you need us, Eo? Focus.” Surviving. They both had to survive. That was all that mattered.

The captain pulled himself up, shaking his head as though trying to clear it. Though still slightly dazed, she could see his alert stance already forming.

“What’s going on?”

The modulated female voice from the speakers rose above the static.

“There has been a small pressure implosion in the hold, captain. I request the presence of both yourself and First Mate Frescoe to help contain the potential fallout.” Static fired again and the screen went black. The wall lamps dimmed to near-darkness in response.

“The pods, Cap. I think she said the pods were losing power. We have to get the others out.”

“No. No point getting them out for the ship to rip apart. We need to get down to the hold. Run. Now.”

He set off at a pace as he spoke and Jay found her body responding to the orders before she had time to process them. Samwin. Sionna. Lacey. Fenton. Gods, they could all die trapped in those carbon coffins. She had to trust him. She did.

The trapdoor down to the hold was buckled and she set bare feet to the twisted metal, working with him to pull it free.

“There, to the left. Sharply. Now!” The captain’s voice cracked out and again, she reacted instantly. Hinges groaned and lungs burned and it was free, the darkly winking lights in the hold inviting them down.

The ship tilted again and Jay stumbled, her feet slicing on a shard of the sharp metal.

“Suit up, now.” The captain tapped a panel in the wall and it swung open, a row of bright pressure suits lined up.

Jay grabbed one and threw it on, the boots moulding to her feet and closing the wound. She turned to see him in the same gear, the over-large helmet snapping shut. In the reflection of the visor she looked far calmer than she felt.

“Down we go, Frescoe.”

Down we go indeed.

*****

The air lay heavy in the suits. Dead. She grimaced, trying to rid her head of that word. Her breathing was loud in her ears as she descended. Static roared and her captain’s voice came in, soothing, comforting.

“You ok there, Frescoe? Still with me?”

“I’m fine, Cap. Just like being back in the pods, makes me itchy. I’ll be fine.”

“You let me know if you want to bug out, you hear me? I’m right here. The HUD says the problem’s over that way.”

Jaylin didn’t need a computer screen to tell her where the problem was, the twisted trail of devastation clearly marked the path. Huge pipes lay crumpled, snapped in half as though by a giant’s hand, wires hanging down from the ceiling, sparking occasionally. The lights kept blinking erratically.

Breathe. Just breathe. Trust yourself. Trust the training. Trust the captain.

His broad back was in front of her, pushing his way through the mangled mess to the epicentre. Making sure the way was clear for her. She felt a rush of emotion for the man that would do that for her and focussed.

He stopped in front of the panel they had worked on months before, an almost unrecognisable mess, lights winking in no apparent order. While there was chaos all around, there didn’t appear to be any damage to the hull itself. Lucky.

She turned to the man next to her.

“Where do we start?”

They worked long into what passed for night, patching, rerouting the gases, isolating the blast site. Several times things nearly got out of hand, dangerously close to a meltdown and each time the Cap’s calm tones talked them through it, her obedience second nature. There was no time for thought, no room for worries or second guessing, just orders and responses and a slow, patient slog through the room.

Jay was exhausted by the time they worked their way back to the ladder. Sweat made the inside of her helmet into a steamroom, hot and wet and stinging her eyes. She blinked away the trickles again, her head spinning slightly. A click sounded as she tightened a bolt underneath one of the floor grates, the captain’s hands wrapped around her ankles, steadying her. Lights rose and she whooped weakly into her headset.

Limbs burned and the floor slid back under her as the captain pulled her back up.

“Good work, Frescoe. We need a break, sleep for a couple of hours, let the droids tidy up and start repairs on the blast site. I think we’re good for now.” His voice sounded as dog-tired as hers.

She collapsed gratefully back against him, pulling her helmet off.

“Eo, status report on the bio-tanks.” At her command, the AI appeared on the tablet, numbers streaming down the screen next to her.

“All biostasis units are intact and power was restored to them as a priority several hours ago. All those interred have vitals within normal range.”

The captain hauled them both to their feet with a small groan before pushing her towards the ladder. She climbed through a pair of fallen beams, making for the trapdoor. “What about the ship, Eo. How’s she holding up?”

A low whistle sounded from a nearby pipe, just behind him. Secondary pressure fissure. They’d missed one. It only took one.

He turned to her, eyes wide. Those dropped beams at head and knee height blocked his exit. The whistle wavered in the groaning air, rapidly climbing in pitch and intensity within seconds. He shook his head at her, the command unmistakeable in the growing racket.

“Run.”

*****

Jay vaulted over the low beam back towards the captain, swiping his legs out so he hit the deck like a stone.

There was a pause, for all the world like the universe held its breath, then everything came back in stunning surround-sound. Ears rang and the ground flew away. Jaylin curled instinctively into a ball as she floated, like a feather. The floor came far harder than she expected, adding yet another brilliant ringing tone to add to the others singing in her skull. She looked up.

The captain was lying motionless, the pressure boom having rolled him yards away. She crawled towards him. Her HUD was reduced to jagged lines of light in her helmet’s visor, but she could tell his chest was still moving up and down, hands fluttering as though to pull his own helmet off.

Static crackled in her earpiece. “Follow… your damn orders…Frescoe.”

She laughed, relief pouring from her in waves. “Can you move?”

He groaned in response and slowly rolled over onto hands and knees. In the low light, the repairbots were already trundling down the walkways, getting to work on patching things up.

Eo shimmered to life before them. “Captain Gibson, my apologies for being unable to warn you, my systems were unavoidably detained undertaking detailed analysis on the ship’s systems status. I am pleased to find both yourself and the First Mate unharmed. Please make your way to the medbay for more in-depth testing. I’ll report further there.” She winked back out.

The rungs seemed spaced impossibly far apart in the unwieldy suit as Jay made for the hallway opening. Exhaustion dragged at her limbs.

She slumped over the side of the trapdoor and swung her legs away to give the captain room to get out. Pulling at the heavy fabric pressing down on her chest, the magnetic clasps gave way, popping open, a cool breeze playing over her bare skin underneath.

Grunts sounded from beneath her and the captain’s larger form dragged itself over the lip and collapsed nearby, his helmet off and his head resting on her stomach.

“That. Was intense.”

The relief in his voice made her chuckle. “Intense doesn’t even begin to describe it. Are you able to get to the medbay ok?”

“I’ll do more than that when we’re finished. What were you thinking, ignoring my order like that?”

“I was thinking that I could go through the gap, while the beams would go through you,” Jaylin paused, reliving the panic that had gripped her when he’d ordered her to go.