Mixed Blessings

“She’s your daughter, Alex.” Vanessa’s eyes, no longer ringed with red, held mine as she repeated the words to me. “She’s thirteen months old.” I did the math. Yep, that’s about the right time. Ugh. It was all too much for me to handle and I just stood gawking at them both, mouth hung open like a moron.

“Alera.” I repeated the little girl’s name and watched as the child stared back at me with large green eyes — my eyes. It was so odd to stare at such a cute little thing, something I had helped make. She certainly had inherited her mother’s beauty. Her flame colored hair was shoulder-length and straight with a little pink bow that was frayed on the edges. Her eyes though, they drew me back each time. How could she have a glow that was neither red nor white, but golden? It was so very strange!

“Alera, honey, do you want to play with your boo-bear?” Vanessa baby-talked to the toddler, who nodded with a reserved eagerness. “Okay then, use your trick to get it. But only this time, okay?” The little one nodded again and held out a hand to a stuffed animal that rested on a table four feet away. I heard myself gasp as the bear began to float slowly to land in the girl’s outstretched arm. The child was a Level 4! Wait, how could she bless without words?!

Vanessa shook her head at her daughter. “Not like that, Alera. You can do better.” The woman’s tone was kind and she placed the bear back in its spot. I was amazed that the little girl did not throw a fit; she seemed extremely well behaved for such a young age. I watched “boo-bear”, expecting it to levitate to the girl again, but it did not. Instead, it just vanished. Poof! One moment it was there, and the next it was gone. I turned my head to see the toy resting comfortably in Alera’s chubby little arm. How….? Okay, that was by far the most incredible thing I had seen!

“She’s the Level 5, Alex.” Vanessa shocked me into silence with words yet again. Oh no. No, no, no! This couldn’t be happening! My own flesh and blood — the Level 5? I instantly became alert to any sounds around me; suddenly my world had been reduced to protecting the little girl before me. I had to get the Blessers away from the sanctuary! I wondered if they would destroy it anyway, since they consider humans to be a scourge and not worthy to keep around.

“Vanessa,” I addressed the woman, watching as she tenderly kissed the toddler on the cheek. “There’s going to be a massive amount of Blessers coming here if I don’t lead them away.” I glanced at the room, looking for a hiding place for them both. “Do you have somewhere you can hide that can’t be blessed to be found?” Her eyes grew wide when she realized what I was saying and the danger that was about to occur to her child. Our child.

“Yes, we can go underground and—”

“Stop, stop!” I cut her off, waving a hand to distract her. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want the information to be found by force or bless.” She nodded at my wisdom and without thinking, pushed the little girl into my arms while she started to gather things she would need for their escape. Having the girl cradled to my chest bewildered me. When I stared deeply into her verdant eyes, I became lost within the golden lights. I felt as if I were staring back at myself in a mirror, looking deep within my soul. It was an amazing feeling. I flinched when Alera reached up and touched my cheek, pressing gently, exploring my profile and chin.

“Daddy.” The word she uttered was clearly understood and I was unable to keep myself from nodding. How did she know? Surely Tomas had raised her as his own daughter?

“I’ve told her about you time and again.” Vanessa stated as she zipped a large bag closed, shoving it over her shoulder. “It does not surprise me that she knows who you are.” I nodded in understanding, grateful that the black-skinned woman had kept me in her memories.

“Daddy sick.” Alera pushed her head against my chest and hummed a few moments before pulling back to smile a bright, sweet smile up at me. I returned it, unable to help myself. “Daddy not sick now.” I did not know what she meant, but was glad she was calling me ‘daddy’. It made me feel as if it were truly a reality that I had a daughter.

Vanessa led me to the front door before gathering Alera from me. I almost did not want to let her go and was surprised to feel that way. The woman leaned over and pecked me on the cheek. “Thank you, Alex. I’m so glad you came to warn us.” She flashed me a sexy smile that brought back memories of our time together. “Maybe you can come visit us again soon and get to know your daughter.” I nodded and fled out of the door, running as fast as I could to the exit while trying not to feel guilty about helping the Blessers. I had to stop the attack before it had a chance to destroy Vanessa’s life and make raising my daughter difficult for her. Most importantly — I could not let Alera fall into the Blesser’s hands.

Once I exited, I triggered the comm signal that would indicate a retreat and hoped to all the heavens they would follow it. Soon I was at the shuttle and one by one the Blessers all came. I had to lie. It would not be pleasant, but I did not see myself as having a choice. “There’s no Level 5.” I told Leo as he approached me with a question clearly on his face. “It was a sham to get us to show up at the Curser’s headquarters. The humans thought that if you were pitted against each other, each trying to find this supposed Level 5 person, that you would cancel each other out.” My stomach churned as I spat out the lies. However, I was pretty proud of how steady my voice was and how credible the story sounded.

“That is most unfortunate, yet fortunate.” Leo shook his head with a grimace and motioned for everyone to get into the shuttle for the return home. I backed up slightly, waiting for Leo’s men to finish loading. The man glanced at me and saw my reticence to enter and so joined me off to the side. “Alex?”

“I’m not going back, Leo. I can’t. It’s too painful to be with your sisters. I’m going to take them fully, if I do.” I told him, trying to put as much honesty and conviction into my voice as I could. Oddly enough though, having sex with the twin beauties was as far from my mind as anything could be. Had seeing Vanessa changed me that much?

“Then they are still virgins as you said?”

“Yes.” I told him honestly. “We only did the oral stuff.” I left out the anal sex. He did not really need to know that. Despite the fact that I had images of the girl’s naked bodies in my mind, I was rather shocked to feel a lack of erection. How had that happened?!

“I am sorry for your …er… problem. We could see if we can find something to help with your… problem, if you want.” Leo was trying so hard not to look disgusted, probably remembering his pleasuring of me. Guilt must be eating him alive. I put my hand on his arm and leaned in, taking in his sweaty scent, acting as flirty as I could.

“I enjoyed our time together. If you want to repeat it, I’ll be glad to return with you.” I had to force myself not to smirk, knowing how he would react. As I suspected, he leaped backward, shoving my hand off of him, glancing sharply to the entrance of the shuttle.

“Uh, no. That is quite all right. Be well, Alex. I am sorry we troubled you.” If he had plans of annihilating the human’s sanctuary, hopefully he would change them if he knew I was there. Hopefully. Some day I knew they’d probably expect me to help them again. But for now, I had a daughter I had to acquaint myself with. I nodded as he gave me one last look and entered into the shuttle.

“Give my love to your sisters.” I could not help but say as the door began to close. I thought I saw him glower, but it could have just been shadows. Smiling to myself I turned back and made my way to the sanctuary. I did not immediately go back to Vanessa and Tomas’ house. Instead, I waited. I wanted to make certain that Leo wouldn’t attack anyway. As night began to fall, and I felt it safe enough, I picked my way through the streets to find myself in front of their door once again. I knocked softly and Tomas answered, staring angrily at me as he allowed me entrance once more into his home.

“The Blessers have gone.” I told him softly, hoping he would get his mate and my daughter for me.

“You are not welcomed here.” His tone was angry and full of jealousy, but I merely waited. Soon, he went to a trap door and opened it, walking down a spiral staircase. I watched as Vanessa exited, followed by the redhead who carried Alera in his arms. My heart began to race — was she injured? Vanessa did not seem alarmed, though. Quite the opposite. Her face lit up brightly when she saw me.

“You’ve returned? What does that mean, Alex? Are you to stay with us?” I could not help but feel the joy in her words, which in turn made me feel good. But Tomas’ face was turning an ugly shade of purple.

“Vanessa, may I please speak with you a moment?” His tone told there would be no arguing against it and she nodded, taking Alera’s sleeping form from the man and putting her gently in my arms once more. I cradled the tiny body to me as I strove not to listen to their private discussion.

“I will not have him here!” Tomas’ screaming voice was full of venom and I winced, hoping to not bring dissension into their lives. But where else could I go? I wondered if I could find a place nearby to stay. I did not want to go far — I wanted to not only get to know my little girl, but also to protect her. As I rested upon a shabby couch, my feet propped up on an old table, rocking the sleeping child gently, it occurred to me that I had not had an erection all afternoon. How? I did not know. But I really did not care at that point. It was perfect timing since sex was the last thing on my mind now.

Vanessa returned shortly after, without Tomas, and she gathered the child, letting me follow her to the baby’s room. After she put Alera gently into the crib, kissing her forehead as the child slept, she clasped my hand and pulled me to the back of the house, to their small enclosed greenhouse/garden.

“Thank you for staying, Alex. You don’t know what it means to me.” Vanessa smiled at me, which caused my heart to skip a few beats. I wanted to kiss her so badly and leaned in to do so, but she pushed a hand against my chest to bar my way. “I’m sorry, Alex. I belong to Tomas now.” I saw regret in her eyes. But I saw longing and lust there too. She was struggling with my presence and I wondered if I should not have returned. Not like I could protect Alera very much anyway. Unless I could somehow figure out how to bless-curse to protect her, that is. I wondered if Vanessa had the same problem as I did, but decided she must not.

“I don’t want to cause problems.” I replied back, finally, returning to my senses. Having the gorgeous woman so close to me was almost intoxicating. I struggled to remain aloof but every cell in my body called for her. It was a very strange feeling — almost as if I were halved when I was not close to her.

“You won’t.” But she was lying. I could tell and she shook her head, stating with a laugh, “The only problem I’ll have is staying away from your body.” It pleased me to know it wasn’t just me struggling to remain apart. She looked down at the sleeping toddler. “I’ll be strong though, for Alera’s sake. She doesn’t need her mother all mixed up and confused on her emotions and feelings. I have to have clarity for her.” I nodded at her words, as I agreed (almost) whole-heartedly. Vanessa lifted to her toes and kissed my forehead as if I were her child too. “You can sleep on the couch, if that is all right? It’s not comfortable, but it’s better than the floor.” I nodded in gratitude and watched her leave the room at Tomas’ call.

Staring down at the sleeping child gave me a warm feeling inside. Here was a living, breathing creation, something I had helped make. She was a part of me, no matter what Level she was and I found myself wanting to be a big part of her life from that point forward. I would die to protect her, I told myself. Reaching down, I began to stroke her soft cheek, admiring the beauty and simplicity of the little one. I did not want to disturb her, so I exited the room quietly and relaxed upon the couch. It was not very comfortable like Vanessa had said, but it was good enough. I was only a few feet from my daughter’s door.

When I woke the next morning, I found myself eye to eye with an unseeing face. A stuffed toy was staring at me, dancing in my face. I sat up slowly, yawning to shake the sleep away and realized Alera was holding her stuffed bear in front of me, as if expecting me to interact with the thing.

“Good morning, Alera. Good morning, Boo-bear.” I greeted the child cheerfully, shaking the little bear’s paw playfully. This made the girl smile and I swear it felt as if the entire room lit up brightly, full of warmth and happiness. As gently as I could, I lifted the girl into my lap and cradled her there, letting her play with the bear while I interacted from time to time, making funny voices. I tried to tune out Vanessa and Tomas’ words as it looked as if they were parting. I watched him leave, kissing her one last time before exiting the door. It truly hurt to see him kiss her, which was completely ridiculous. She belonged to someone else now – I had to get over it!

“Trouble?” I queried as I lifted the girl up and together we walked to her mother’s side. Vanessa took her from me and hugged on her a few moments before shining a smile my way.

“Just a scouting party. It’s Tomas’ turn to go out. He won’t return until tomorrow, but for once I’m not afraid to be alone.” I knew she meant because I was there, which stroked my masculine ego. “Would you care for some breakfast? I can make you an omelet if you’d like, we have fresh ingredients from the garden.” Her words were like magic and I nodded, letting her hand me Alera so she could prepare the meal. She glanced at the child, biting her lip when she realized what she had done (again). “I’m sorry. I don’t think about your feelings when I hand her to you. You can put her down if you want.” I nodded as my reply, but kept holding the little girl.

As Vanessa and I sat together eating, she asked me what I had done after our disastrous union. It was difficult to talk to her about it, because I did not want to talk about my impotence problem, as that was rather embarrassing, especially when sitting next to a beautiful woman who was making it difficult not to ravage her. My erection was throbbing against my waistband as usual. I had waked with it, and of course, my thoughts were constantly revolving around Vanessa and the memory of her gorgeous body.

When I told her about the Blessers coming to me for help in finding the Level 5, her eyes grew wide with alarm. I quickly explained what I had told Leo and that he had left, knowing I was not returning and she seemed to relax marginally. Her hand brushed against mine as she collected the empty plates, sending my heart beating in an erratic pattern. I was so attracted to her and desperately hoped my untucked long shirt covered the top of my pants and outline of my hardness.

I wanted to tell her “Look at this” as I pointed to my groin, “You did this by being so sexy, Vanessa. You are totally turning me inside out.” But of course, I refrained, watching her wash the dishes and put them away. She spent the next few hours telling me how the compound worked, giving me names of who was in charge and the next in line and so forth and sent me out to find one of the work-hires so that I could find a place among the humans in the sanctuary. Perhaps if I could find housing nearby, I could remain out of the couple’s way and still have a hand in raising Alera.

It was a fruitful meeting and I was promised work. They didn’t trust me enough for guard duty, so I had to start with the most menial tasks such as mucking stalls and help repairing the old solar engines that provided the electricity and currents for moving water. I did not mind — it helped me focus on something other than Vanessa. I was shown my quarters, a small bunk that was in the middle of three others all said to be occupied by fellow workmen, and felt a small measure of relief that I would be able to have a place to call my own (even if it was shared). Of course Vanessa made me promise to stay the night on the couch once more, since Tomas would be gone. I was not certain about the wisdom of such, but agreed.

And the evening truly started off as simple as a nice dinner of fresh chicken and vegetables and Vanessa and I playing with Alera until it was her bedtime. The time spent doing so was very enjoyable and gave me a peace. My erection always went away when I was with Alera, which confused me. Was I somehow cured? I would think that and then when Vanessa would come close to me, I’d be back to where I started from — completely erect and full of desire for her. It made me VERY glad I was to spend the rest of the nights apart. Having her in the next room drove me wild and as I lay on the couch, staring at the wooden planks of the ceiling, I wondered if Tomas knew just how lucky he was to have such a beautiful, sexy woman as his.

I had nearly dozed off when I heard a soft voice calling my name. I sat up, startled, wondering if it had been a lucid dream when I realized Vanessa was standing at her bedroom door. “Are you all right?” I called out to her, trying not to pay too much attention to the silky black nightie she wore that only just covered her body. She shook her head and I could see something had her upset and so I stood, glad I still had my clothes on, and went to her side.

Wordlessly, she pulled me into the bedroom and shut the door behind us, making me gulp in alarm. Before I knew it, she had pulled my shirt off and was kissing me as if she were mine to kiss. I knew I was breaking all the rules by kissing her back, but gads I could not stop myself. I let my hands slide up underneath her nightie, pulling it off of her and sucked in a big gasp of oxygen when I saw how shapely and lovely her body still had remained despite having a child. It did not take long for her to shuck my pants and pull me to the bed — her and Tomas’ bed. I felt terrible for taking another man’s mate, but this was Vanessa! Come on, how could I possible have a chance to resist? Especially with my erection problem, which was apparently back in full force now.

“Make love to me?” Vanessa’s voice was soft, sultry and full of fire. I swallowed hard, not sure if I could do it. Too many memories were flooding my mind. It wasn’t as if we would have the same problem as before, since neither of us truly were Blessers or Cursers, but the pain lingered from our first encounter enough to give me pause. Plus, I just couldn’t shake the fact that she belonged to someone else. She gave me no time to reflect as I soon found my erect member in her mouth. She knew exactly how to suck and lick, bringing me just to the point of release before stopping, driving me to near madness. I growled as she did it yet again and pushed her gently to the bed. I took a moment to suckle her breasts, first the left and then the right, which brought a moan from deep within her chest.

We were both to the point of no return and so I held myself over her, eye to eye and asked in a whisper, “Are you sure this is what you want?” Her eyes, full of lust and passion and something else, flashed at me and I gasped as she yanked my body to hers. I let myself slide into her warmth and shut my eyes as I realized that except for the anal and oral sex I had had with the twins and Leo, this would be the first time I made love to a woman since the first time with her.

As we rocked together, our bodies fitting like interlocking puzzle pieces, I fought my release. I did not want to come. Not yet. I wanted to make sure she was satisfied first. Her throaty moans grew in intensity and when I felt her body warm considerably, I knew it was safe to let myself go.