I was listening to someone tell about the problems they’d had with the IRS targeting him (and complaining that it was for political purposes). I didn’t care about the politics, but I thought it would be fun to make a video where a sexual adventures falls into the lap of what sounds like one of the dullest jobs ever.
Episode 92) Tax Evasion Penalties
We see a woman at a desk in an office with a computer. Her hair is up. She has a plain blouse and professional skirt. On her desk, it says that this is Monica Jones, Auditor. She’s in her mid-20s.
Another woman in her 20s enters the room and asks “Miss Smith, I’m Andromeda Diamond. We have an appointment.” She’s dressed sexily to attract attention and is carrying a folder of receipts and her tax return.
“Thank you for coming, Miss Diamond. You can close the door, and please call me Monica.” Andromeda closes the door. “Have a seat.” And she sits across from the desk. “I’ve been reviewing your case while I waited for you to arrive, and it appears to me that you claimed unsubstantiated business expenses. You said on the phone that you have documentation for these expenses.”
“Yes. And please call me Andromeda. My audit notice said that my business expenses were out of the normal range and I would have to provide evidence that they’re valid. I’ve brought copies of all of my major receipts. What can I show you?”
“Well, let’s start with the two largest categories. The air fare should be simple for you to prove, and then clothing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a large expense for clothing for an individual business.”
Andromeda hands a stack of printouts to Monica. “These are receipts for all of my business trips.” Monica takes them and is looking through them. She starts sliding other printouts to her one at a time. “I’ll have to dig through to get the clothing receipts.”
Monica flips through the flight receipts casually. “Do you travel every week?”
“Mostly.”
She puts those to the side and starts looking at the clothing receipts. She has a skeptical look on her face. “These are beautiful and very expensive gowns and dresses. And here’s a bill for swimwear and one for lingerie. These don’t look like business expenses. I think you’ll have to tell me more about the business you’re in.”
Andromeda sits up and smiles. “Sure! I have a business as an online model. And I offer subscriptions, and my subscribers get to watch me perform.”
“Your receipts showed that most of your revenue isn’t from subscriptions though.”
“Right. I give away most of my content because I’m really promoting the travel part of my business. A lot of people also hire me to go and spend the weekend or a week with them in person.”
Monica is nervously chewing on her pen. “Tell me more about this personal service that you offer. Do you mean, like, uh, people are hiring you to go out and have, uh, sex with them?”
Andromeda smiles. “Of course. That’s what makes this such a good business. And I’m very good at it, so I have lots of return business.”
Monica puts the pen down on her desk. “Andromeda, you know, don’t you, that prostitution is illegal. … But I’m not a policeman or anyone who would enforce that. I just work for the IRS. But here’s the part that applies to me. You can’t claim expenses for illegal businesses.”
Andromeda shakes her head. “But what does that mean for my tax return?”
“It means that it’s just like I wrote in the letter. None of those expenses qualify as business expenses. You can’t claim them.”
Andromeda pauses to consider what she’s been told. “Well, almost all of my receipts are from that … activity. So if I don’t claim those expenses, then I won’t claim those receipts either, and I don’t owe anything. Right?”
Monica shakes her head. “It doesn’t work like that. You still have to pay taxes on all of your revenue, even if you get it from illegal activities. And I’m afraid that the notice I sent to you has to be paid.”
Andromeda starts to shake. “But, but, this bill that you sent to me. You said I owe $60,000. That’s crazy!”
Monica can see Andromeda getting agitated and tries to project a professional attitude as she’s been trained to keep the situation from escalating.
“What makes this a large bill is that covers three years of returns. it also includes penalties for the past three years.”
“This is crazy! I don’t have enough money to pay that. What can I do? Can’t you give me any help?” She’s getting hysterical, and Monica is trying to calm her down. “I’ll have to sell my car. I’ll have to sell my jewelry.” She stands, and her arms are waving wildly. “And it still won’t be enough.” She points a finger accusingly at Monica and continues her tirade. “You won’t be satisfied unless you take everything that I have, won’t you!” Monica is shaking her head and trying to calm down the woman. “You want to take everything I have including the clothes off my back! I might as well start with these!” She shouts.
She takes off her shoes and throws them at Monica. Then her blouse and skirt and bra until she’s just shouting at Monica in her panties. Monica is going around the room, retrieving the thrown clothes, and trying to convince Andromeda to calm down and get dressed again. She’s holding the bra and trying to get Andromeda to put it back on when the door opens and a man’s voice says “ready for lunch?”
The two women stare at the man, around 30, standing in the door. He’s shocked.
“Richard!” Monica screams. “This isn’t what it seems.”
Richard stammers “I should’ve known it. All of my friends warned me that you would cheat on me after we’re married. But you didn’t even wait for the wedding.”
This interruption has stunned Andromeda into silence. Monica is scared and trying to convince Richard that this is a mistake. “It’s not like it looks. This crazy woman just came into my office and started throwing her clothes at me.”
Richard continues “They told me once a lesbian, always a lesbian, and I should’ve believed them. I’m sorry, Monica, but the wedding’s off.” He turns around and closes the door as he leaves.
Now Monica is crying and steadying herself on her desk. Andromeda feels really badly and holds Monica and tries to comfort her. “Monica, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to, uh, you know, ruin your life.” Monica just cries. “Let me help. Tell me where to find Richard and explain that this is my fault.”
“You heard him. He won’t believe you. He thinks we’re lovers.”
Andromeda lowers her voice conspiratorially. “You know, he’s really handsome, and you’re very attractive. Maybe we could change his mind with a 3-way.”
Monica changes from crying to laughing. “That’s such a bad idea!. Richard is so sensible and conservative. He convinced me to calm down and not be wild. He’s not interested in that. In fact, we haven’t even had any sex yet — he’s been waiting until he’s married.”
Andromeda is still holding Monica closely with her arms around her and rubbing her back. “Then what can I do?”
“Do? There’s nothing to do.” Monica steps back and now looks at Andromeda in a different way. “Maybe I was crazy to think I could be satisfied with a tame life. You said I’m very attractive. You’ve very sexy, too.” They’re just looking at each other, and Monica lets her hair down. “I think I’d feel a lot better if you kissed me. Will you do that for me?”
“Whoa. I don’t want to make you do anything that breaks your promise.”
“What promise. I don’t have a fiancé anymore. And I haven’t had any sex in six months. And, right now, the only thing I can think of is how much I want to touch your breasts. Just because I haven’t slept with a woman for six months doesn’t mean I haven’t been looking at them.” Andromeda steps to Monica and they kiss. Monica tells her “I have missed kissing women so much. He wasn’t worth it. I love kissing women more than anything, and I love kissing you.” They continue to kiss. Monica has one hand around Andromeda and one playing with her breasts. Andromeda has her hands around Monica, rubbing her butt through the skirt.
Monica unzips her skirt and steps out of it and then her panties. “I want to feel your hands while we kiss.”
They continue kissing. Andromeda has her hands squeezing and rubbing Monica’s ass, and Monica has her hands under Andromeda’s panties squeezing and rubbing her ass. After awhile, Andromeda unbuttons Monica’s blouse and remove it and her bra so she can lick Monica’s breasts. Monica pulls off Andromeda’s panties and leans her against the desk while they kiss some more.
They’re interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing. The two naked girls turn and face Richard. “Uh, Monica, I thought of what you were saying and thought that I acted hastily.”
Monica takes off her engagement ring. “You’re right, Richard. Once a lesbian, always a lesbian. Here’s your ring.” She walks to him and hands it to him.
Richard is staring at the two beautiful women. He’s discovering a secret fantasy that he may not even himself realized that he had. His gaze goes back and forth between the two. He starts to for the ring that she’s holding out, but his hand goes past the ring and is reaching for Monica’s breast. She slaps it with her other hand. He’s still staring at her body. “I just thought maybe we can work something out. I still love and and want you more than anything.” He looks over at Andromeda again. “Maybe we can arrange something like with you and me and your girlfriend.”
“If you don’t want your ring back, then I’ll keep it, but either way go and don’t call me again.”
He reaches for the ring again and this time he takes it. He’s still just staring at the two nude women’s bodies.
“Now go!”
“Are you sure because I really think we could work something out.” He walks backwards, still staring at the beautiful woman who beautiful woman who was so close to becoming his wife, but Monica just glares silently at him until he leaves. Monica locks the door and then faces Andromeda. Andromeda asks “I don’t get it.”
“I told you that I really, really love your kissing. You turn me on a lot more than he does, and I’ve been lying to myself that I wanted him more than other women. And while we were kissing, I was fantasizing a plan to erase your $6t0,000 in taxes.” She takes Andromeda, and they have a long kiss.” Tell me, how much sex can I get for $60,000?”
Between kisses, Andromeda tells her “I don’t know. You’re very attractive. I’d be willing to give you special rates.”
“Then let’s get started.” We watch them have sex until they’re exhausted. Monica is caressing Andromeda’s body and asks her “are there other women like you with this same job?”
“Oh yeah, lots.”
“Here’s what I want you to do. Go on home for now, but call me tonight so we can schedule our next installment.” She kisses Andromeda. “I could keep kissing you forever!” Andromeda kisses her again. “Also, I want you to make a list of other women with this job and their addresses. I think I’m going to have to research and find out which other ones need to be audited. There’s a reward for turning in other tax cheaters, and I’ll let you help collect the penalties from them in the bedroom.” They kiss again. Andromeda stands and dresses while Monica watches and plays with her own breasts. When Andromeda finishes dressing, “Wait.” Monica stands and takes a business card and writes her cell # on it. “Call me on my cell at 5, and you can give me directions to your house.” They kiss again, and Andromeda leaves. Monica locks the door behind her and we see her start to masturbate as she thinks of the nights she’ll be spending with Andromeda and the other ladies, and the scene fades.