(This is a sequel to Roommates, Kathy and Sarah wake up to the aftermath)
The next day, Kathy and Sarah are lightly dozing in the same bed. This was the first time they slept in the same bed since the day they were married several months ago in Las Vegas. Kathy was spooning Sarah and both were in no hurry to get up. This was for two reasons; the first, they were both warm and comfortable. The second, they would have to face each other and try to figure out what happened last night.
They got swept up in a whirlwind of passion and emotions. They had sex! In the heat of the moment they said and did things to each other that they could never take back. Neither Kathy nor Sarah considered themselves lesbians, they hadn’t even considered themselves bisexual, yet, the previous night they made love together and were deeply satisfied by it. They had been best friends since the moment they met. Kathy proposed to Sarah after she lost her job so she could be on Kathy’s medical insurance, but much to their mutual surprise, it wasn’t simply a marriage of convenience, it turned out to be much more than that. It exposed the deep feelings they hadn’t known they had for each other.
Kathy didn’t believe that she desired women, in fact she had a slight misgiving about lesbians in general. She thought she could never do “that,”she thought it was gross. She was still in shocked disbelief that she had done exactly “that” to Sarah last night. She deceived herself into thinking that there was something intoxicating and different about pleasing and being pleased by someone you know and love, even if only as a friend. The trust, the openness, the willingness, and over-all freedom of being with that person is its own sort of eros. She told herself last night was not the same thing at all, it was in the heat of the moment and didn’t matter. She was sure that Sarah would never do it again, she’s probably just as embarrassed as Kathy is. Sarah was less circumspect, she had had the occasional bisexual fantasy before and this didn’t surprise or bother her too much. Unlike Kathy, Sarah wasn’t one to over complicate her feelings.
Sarah, waking, turned over to face Kathy. They looked into each others eyes and smiled. Neither knew what to do or say. Kathy absentmindedly ran her hands over Sarah’s smooth skin. They were both still naked from the night before. Kathy noticed that Sarah’s hair could only be described as “bed head,” and laughed “Your hair is a mess!”
Sarah responded, “right back at you.”
They both had a quick laugh. Dodging the elephant in the room, Kathy said “coffee?”
Sarah answered with an enthusiastic “YES!”
Kathy got up, didn’t bother putting on any clothes, and walked over to the coffee maker. Sarah watched intently as Kathy sauntered toward the kitchen. Sarah seriously swooned, Kathy looked like a sexy “wild animal.” She was lean, muscular, and tall, she walked with a smooth graceful stride. She could see Kathy’s every muscle flex and release as she walked. She was beauty in motion. Sarah guessed that she must weigh at least 170 pounds. She was magnificent, like a champion race horse, the embodiment of strength, grace, and beauty. She caught her breath thinking that she really was in love and loved everything about her amazon goddess. Kathy, she realized, made her happy.
Kathy, as she was making coffee, worried “what am I doing?” She had noticed Sarah looking at her but didn’t let on. She was having an internal struggle, she loved Sarah, there was no doubt about that, Sarah was her very best and closet friend, but was she, Kathy, gay? Was Sarah? Could she really be married to a women? She wanted to hold Sarah, she wanted to be with her, she wanted to make love to her, but was this really the Kathy she thought she was? This had to be just some emotional hang-over from the Vegas wedding and the drama and passion of last night. Was she having a break-down?
Since she was a little girl, Kathy had imagined a tall, strong, handsome man as her husband. She imagined her wedding, the wedding dress. She imagined her family, the band, the caterer, the first dance. She imagined being the doting wife of her successful husband. Kids. Kathy had always been “the strong one” her whole life. She had to be the athlete, team lead, oldest child, older sister, caregiver to her failing mother after her father died. She dreamed that someday she would meet someone who could rescue her so that she could let go and share her burdens. Kathy’s size and physical condition masked her vulnerability. She needed to let someone else be strong once and a while. She needed to be taken care of for a change. Kathy was deeply saddened and desperate by the loss of this imagined, hoped for, life. She felt that she would have to continue to shoulder everything all alone. She quickly sank into sadness.
As Kathy brought the coffee back to bed, Sarah noticed immediately the melancholy look on Kathy’s face despite the effort with which Kathy was trying to hide it. “What’s up, you look sad?”
“Oh, nothing”
Sarah wasn’t having it. “Kathy, this is me, I know every look on your face, now spill it.”
Kathy trying to collect her thoughts, did her best. “What are we doing?” she asked.
Sarah, not really sure what she was asking replied, “what do you mean?”
Kathy swallowed, this would hurt both of them. “What are we doing? You know I love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, but are we lesbians now? I’m not a lesbian. What about the dream of a husband, picket fences, kids, PTA, a normal life? I didn’t intend for any of this. I don’t know what to do. How can we be in love like this? I don’t even know what to tell my mother!! I have never even met your parents!! How do I ‘come out’ to my mom and say I am in a lesbian marriage with the woman I love, but don’t worry, I’m straight?” Kathy continued “I didn’t think any of this out. I made a terrible mess out of everything.” Kathy slipped, “I want a husband to take care of me, I’m tired of being there for everyone else. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this.”
Sarah was stunned. The back of her neck was on fire and icy cold at the same time. Her world sank in to a cold icy pit of despair that she had not known was waiting beneath her. She was suddenly losing the love of her life that she only just realized she had all along.
Kathy was spinning out of control emotionally. They were deeply in love with each other, this was true, but she didn’t or couldn’t accept that she could be in a lesbian relationship.
Sarah spoke with a clarity and seriousness that Kathy had never heard from her before, “Kathy stop this right now. I love you. I know that you love me. We vowed to love each other ’till death do us part.’ I want you to listen to me and listen carefully.” Kathy was more than a little shocked at the assertiveness that Sarah now displayed. Sarah continued; “I’m sorry that I’m not Mr. perfect fucking picket fence, with 2.5 kids, house, and stupid desk job. Like sucks and you get what you get out of it. Tough shit.” Kathy was surprised that her best friend would talk to her like this.
Sarah dug in deeper. “You want someone to take care of you, well, I’m right fucking here.” Sarah’s despair had turned to anger. “I have been ‘right here’ for you since the day we met. You asked me to marry you to take care of me. I love you for that.” Sarah continued “We’ve been best friends for years and married for months, but you never once shared how hard life has been for you or that you needed help. That hurts me. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. I’m right here. Me. You must know by now that you always have me.”
Kathy demurred as Sarah, desperately continued. “At first we were idiots, we didn’t know what we were doing. We jumped into the deep end of the pool and had no idea how deep the water was. I don’t have a label for us, but I love you. We promised we would always love each other.” Sarah continued “Are we lesbians? I don’t know and I don’t care. Love is love and labels are fucking stupid. If loving you and wanting you makes me a lesbian, then so be it, I’ll accept that label gladly if it means I get to have you.”
Kathy, a little shamed by Sarah’s statement, responded, “But, I’m not a lesbian.”
Sarah attacked this comment. “No? We had sex together and it was the best sex either of us ever had. We have passion. I love you. You love me. We are both women. You tell me what the hell we are?”
Kathy responded, “confused.”
Sarah exploded, “Bullshit! YOU are confused. Not me, I’m seeing things clearly. You really want someone to take care of you? Well, I’m going to take care of you, that’s my job now, OK? Got it?” Sarah continued her scolding. “So, let me take care of you right now and tell you what’s going to happen next. You are going to come back to bed, we are going to have our coffee. We are going to kiss each other and we are going to have a good day together. For now, at least until you figure your god damned shit out, you are my wife and you are going to act like it, you are my most important person and I’m not letting go, not without a fight. So, come here.”
Kathy’s outburst was completely blunted by Sarah’s. She wanted to keep fighting, but there was nothing really left to fight about. She sheepishly went back to the bed. They sat in bed, quietly drinking their coffee, looking out at the ever busy world outside their window deep in their own thoughts. Kathy, calming down, looked over at Sarah, almost in tears. “You are my most important person, too.”
Sarah put her coffee on the headboard, leaned over and hugged her wife. Kathy melted in her arms. Sarah kissed Kathy. Kathy felt every emotion in that kiss. She had to admit to herself that she hadn’t ever really felt much love or passion in a kiss before Sarah. Yes, Sarah.
“You know, I had a lot of the same dreams you have. I dreamed about a husband, house, kids, and all that. I understand the sense of loss in losing those dreams.” Sarah said. “I just never thought that anyone ever gets the life they dream about. You get the opportunities you get and make the best life that you can with them. Sure, I expected to fall in love with a man, but I think we did much better. We are so lucky, we got each other, think about that. We can still have the kids, we each have brothers that can be donors. We could go to a sperm bank. In vitro fertilization is covered by the health care plan. We could adopt. You want a house with a picket fence? We can have that, we make enough. The only thing we really need to change in our dreams is the pronouns.”
Kathy hadn’t considered any of that. Who was this amazing woman next to her? Sarah surprised Kathy with her stalwartness. Kathy was still deeply conflicted. She imagined how shocked all her old friends and family would be when they found out she had a “wife.”
Sarah woke Kathy out of her thoughts. “For me, I always pictured that my husband and I would agree to take a long hot shower when we fight to calm down and reconnect. I’m feeling like I need that now. Will you take a shower with me?”
Kathy looked at Sarah and said, softly and a little unsure of herself, “That would be really nice, are you sure?”
They got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Kathy watched Sarah walk in front of her. She really was cute. Kathy had never really looked at women before, but she had to admit, without ever realizing it, Sarah turned her on. She had some curves, nice legs, and a nice bum that moved just right as she walked. Was she attracted to women and never noticed? Kathy was astonished when she realized what she was feeling. It never once occurred to Kathy that she could be attracted to another women. Not ever.
In the shower, Sarah took charge. The hot water scalded a little when it first hit them but didn’t take long for it to feel warm and relaxing. The hot water was washing away the tension. Sarah told Kathy to face the wall. She took the loofah and soap, and proceeded to wash Kathy’s back. Lightly scrubbing. The hot water running down Kathy’s back and the pressure from the scrubbing was almost like a massage. Sarah slowly worked down Kathy’s back. She scrubbed the back of Kathy’s legs. Kathy sighed at how wonderful it felt. Sensual, almost but not quite, sexual. Sarah lifted Kathy’s feet and scrubbed the bottoms of them. With each foot Kathy couldn’t keep still as it tickled. Sarah enjoyed the silliness of tickling Kathy’s feet with the loofah.
Sarah told Kathy to turn around. She proceeded to soap up and scrub Kathy. Abandoning the loofah, Sarah used her bare hands to wash Kathy. First her shoulders. Then soaping up her arms, and then lifting up her arms and getting her arm pits. Pausing briefly to kiss her wife, then focused on her pert breasts. Then down her stomach. She paused briefly and kissed her belly button. Sarah loved the feel of Kathy’s muscular body. With the hot water pouring over them, she worked down her legs. The feeling was sublime to Kathy. She had been kind of heavy in grade school and while she leaned out and became very athletic with sports in collage, she still had some lingering self conscious body image issues. None of that apprehension was present now as it had been with her previous boyfriends. Sarah was special, Kathy felt totally free and open for the first time in her life with no reservations.
She turned Kathy around again. With Sarah behind and her arms around Kathy, she continued to glide her soapy hands over Kathy, thrilling over the feel and texture of her wife’s hard body. Then Sarah did it, she started to massage Kathy’s clit. A bolt of lightening went through Kathy and she went from blissfully relaxed to sexually aroused instantly. As Sarah continued working on Kathy, Kathy could feel herself building. Sarah teased and taunted, “you love me don’t you?”
Kathy gave the only answer she could, “Yes I love you.”
Sarah asked; “You love what I’m doing to you, don’t you.”
Kathy couldn’t deny it and responded in a throaty voice “yes.”
Sarah, getting quite satisfied with herself, pushed further; “You want me to make you cum don’t you?”
Kathy was so close, and could barely respond, “yes.”
Sarah challenged Kathy further, “You are my lesbian wife aren’t you?”
Kathy couldn’t think straight, she answered the only answer she could muster, “Yes, I am your lesbian wife.” After saying that Kathy came with the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced. Her knees buckled, but Sarah caught her and held her up. Kathy, weak, turned to hold on to Sarah and kissed her on the lips while also trying to catch her breath.
Kathy, still catching her breath looked at Sarah. Sarah was right, all those things she thought she lost, she could have with Sarah. Kathy looked at Sarah and asked “I’m not sure, but there is no one I would want to figure out my life with than you.”
Sarah answered “I know its a stupid cliche, don’t laugh, but I live my life for the journey, not the destination. Can we agree that what ever our journey is, that we are on it together now?”
Kathy responded, “Agreed.”
Sarah added, “I don’t have a crystal ball, but what ever happens, we do it as a team. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
Sarah guided Kathy out of the shower. They dried each other off. Sarah then grabbed Kathy’s hand and pulled her to the bedroom. She laid Kathy on the bed. She climbed on top of her and straddled her chest. She leaned over and kissed her. She deviously and playfully said “You like to cum for your lesbian wife, don’t you?”
Kathy, still somewhat embarrassed and a little turned on by the wickedness and directness of the question, admitted “yes.”
Sarah rattled Kathy, “You’ll be my lesbian slut wife, won’t you?”
The dirty talk was getting Kathy going again, replied, “Yes, I’ll be your lesbian slut wife.” Kathy had always liked dirty talk in bed and it was working its magic. It turned her on to call herself a “slut” for Sarah. Sarah knew because she had overheard her friend more than a few times over the years.
Sarah was having fun now, “You know what lesbian sluts do, don’t you?” Being called a “lesbian slut” propelled Kathy on, and yes, she knew exactly what she was being asked. It was dirty. She never admitted to anyone how much she loved dirty talk, but it was perfectly clear that Sarah knew exactly where her buttons were.
Sarah moved up and put her pussy over Kathy’s mouth, and said, “Now, my lesbian slut wife, lick my pussy and make me cum.”
Kathy had only done this once before, never believing she’d ever do it at all. The dirty talk had her really turned on again and she was eager. She stuck out her tongue and tasted Sarah. Her taste wasn’t as strong as the night before because of the shower, but Kathy could still taste her. Kathy’s sense of awareness seemed on overdrive now. She noticed with great surprise that she really loved what she was doing. It was very raw, physical, and earthy. It was like pure sex, exactly what good girls should never do. She loved the feel of Sarah on her tongue. She loved her taste and smell. She sucked on Sarah’s clit. She could hear Sarah moan as she pushed down on Kathy. Kathy reached up and grabbed Sarah by her hips and held her tight. Slowly she could feel Sarah building toward orgasm. Finally, Kathy held Sarah with all her might as she came. She could feel Sarah convulsing and cumming all over her.
It was Sarah’s turn to collapse. She lay next to Kathy, sweaty, out of breath, and ecstatic. She simply said “wow.”
Kathy felt a deep satisfaction. She got on top of Sarah and kissed her belly. She kissed her way up to Sarah’s lips and kissed her deeply. Sarah could taste herself on Kathy’s lips. Kathy spoke “I’ve never had anything like this. We need to make this work.”
Sarah’s heart lifted, she pulled Kathy closer, and kissed her. “I love you, and I’m not letting you go, no matter how crazy you get.” Sarah continued, “You are the best lover I ever had. Seriously, you are my everything. You can’t leave me, I’d be lost.”
Kathy was reassured, “I’m sorry I freaked out this morning.”
“It’s okay” Sarah said “to tell the truth, I was freaking out a little myself, but your epic freak-out made me reconsider mine. I was thinking about what our life can be, and these days, we can be us and do what we want. Let’s start a family, lets have kids. Remember? We’re married! We can have the house. We can even have a nice picket fence if you want one, but seriously, I hate picket fences, they’re stupid”
Kathy laughed, she loved Sarah’s sense of humor. She kissed Sarah again. Kathy realized she wasn’t feeling alone. Kathy, lamented. “You know, we’re going to have to tell our families eventually.”
Sarah, with a wry smile, said “That’s all well and good for you, you’re mother doesn’t even go to church. My parents are roman catholic, I’m seriously going to hell.”
Kathy laughed again, “I wouldn’t worry too much, they’ll have to get over it. Besides, if we give them a grandchild they won’t think twice about us.”
Sarah with a devious grin said, “If we’re lesbians now, we need all the equipment.” The thought had not occurred to Kathy, but yes, she guessed that they did. Sarah continued “We should go shopping today.”