Author’s note: Having trouble finishing a few stories. This quickie came to me and I sent it in. 750 word BTB

Katrina came home from her weekly bridge party and gossiping session to find me and three men who worked with her sitting in our living room. After the shock wore off, she asked, “What the Hell is this?”

“This is the night you get what you have wanted. After months and months of you telling me how lousy I was in every way and how much better the men were in your office were, I found a solution. ‘If only I had _____instead of you’ was a phrase you used time after time, so I decided to do something about it. My main reason for not just divorcing you was the money I would lose. My lifestyle would greatly diminish in a divorce. I finally came up with a solution to satisfy us both. These men have been invited here for an auction. I am auctioning off my place as your husband. I know there have been several other men you were interested in, but they either turned me down or were afraid their wives would find out.

“Are you out of your ever-loving mind?”

“No, I was going out of my mind until I came up with this idea. Now, to be fair to you men, you dear will need to give each of them a sample of your blowjob and sex skills. It would not be fair for them to buy something they had no experience with. I have equipped our bedroom with extra sheets, wash cloths, KY jelly and condoms. We will draw straws to see who goes first.”

Katrina looked at the men seated on the couch. All seemed to have the same lustful look she was used to when they came by to flirt at her desk. “You guys really think he can auction me off?”

I interrupted. “I am not selling you off, directly. I am selling my place as your husband. They are to take my place in all household chores which includes keeping you sexually satisfied. According to you, any one of them could do better than me without even trying hard. Tonight is the night to find out.

“Katrina, you have an option. You can bid also. If you win, you get to choose the man you want or not to have any of them. I will take the amount of your winning bid, deduct it from your half of our assets, and merge it with my half. I will then depart for worlds unknown.”

“I need a drink.”

“I don’t mean to rush you, but you should give each man enough time to decide how much being with you is worth to him.”

“Have I really been that bad a wife to you that you would stoop to a trick like this?”

“Yes. My next option was to just leave you and let you pay for a divorce. Let me play a selection of your disrespect for me.” I played a tape I had made of declarations she had made over the last few months. The tape mentioned how little money I brought in, how few chores I performed, how stupid my political opinions were, how I am no fun, and how totally inadequate I am in bed. She was soon crying.

“Gentlemen, I leave it up to you. Does that sound like a woman I should stay married to?”

One by one they said ‘No’ or ‘Hell no’ and left. The offer of taking my place as her husband was no longer attractive. Two of them offered their condolences for being married to her. Katrina continued to cry.

“Addison, I’m sorry.”

“I am too. I shouldn’t have scared them off. At least not until you had a chance to fuck each one. Now, you’ll have to start with a new set of potential husband replacements. Well, I’m off.”

“What do you mean, ‘You’re off?'”

“Plan A didn’t work. Plan B is now in effect. I have already taken out my half of the assets and there are a couple of suitcases in my car. Even I am not sure of where I’m going.”

“Wait, please wait. I don’t want a divorce.”

“I don’t either because I would come out a loser. That’s why I’m just leaving. You can divorce me if you want.”

“No, I mean I don’t want to divorce YOU. I want to stay married to you. Give me a chance to make it right.”

“There’s an easy way you can do that.”


“Get out of my way.”