A Band of Brigands

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Chapter 2.

“Should we wake him up?” Todd asked.

“You didn’t need to say ‘up’.” Billy replied.

“What are you talking about?”

“You should have said ‘Should we wake him?’, not ‘Should we wake him up?’ Up is an extra word.”

“Billy, I swear to God, why do you-”

A loud thud and a stream of expletives from upstairs stopped them both as they craned their heads towards the staircase in unison. Billy smiled and began to chuckle a little bit, and Todd gave him a reproachful look. The door to Jimmy’s room opened and slammed shut again. Todd followed the sound of the footsteps with his eyes as they went from Jimmy’s room to the bathroom, not noticing that Billy sat back down and picked up his book.

When Jimmy finished his shower and left the bathroom, the first thing he heard was Todd’s high pitched voice yelling at him to hurry up. We got a long day ahead of us, so hurry up. Who was Todd to tell Jimmy anything? Jimmy would be down when he damn well pleased, thank you very much. Besides, all they were doing was job hunting, and according to Billy (Who’d been out of the workforce for nearly a month) there weren’t many hot prospects. So all they were really doing was going to the same places Billy had been before, and if Billy wasn’t getting hired, then it was a safe bet that none of them would.

“But we gotta do something,” Jimmy said. He didn’t even realize he had spoke out loud, and his own voice made him jump just a little.

“What did you say?” Todd asked from the bottom of the stairs.

“I said shut the hell up. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Just hurry alright.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes and went to grab his shoes and socks. He liked to keep them by the door downstairs, but Todd had whined about them being in the way. Billy sided with Todd, and had wanted him to move the shoes too but for different reasons.

“They stink,” Billy had said, his face like granite. Just once Jimmy would have liked to see Billy get pissed off. Or cry, or yell. Billy never did any of those things though. He laughed a lot. He had a wicked sense of humor. That’s probably why the two of them became best friends, but he never got angry. He never lost control.

“Bastard,” Jimmy said.

After the three of them piled into his car, Todd in the backseat, Billy in the passengers side, and Jimmy driving, Jimmy asked them where they wanted to go.

“Well, I’ve been just about everywhere that pays better than unemployment,” Billy said.

“What do you mean?” Jimmy asked, starting the car, and putting it into reverse.

“Well, we made a lot of money at Katz Industries, mostly because we seemed to be the only ones that worked there that could walk and chew gum at the same time. If you file for unemployment you get a percentage of that. I think we’d get about $200 dollars a week, which is just about as much as they pay you starting out working the Fry-o-later down at Micky D’s.”

Jimmy looked at Todd, then back to Billy. He turned on the street from the apartment complex’s parking lot. “Well, let’s go the county then boys.”

“Just like that,” Todd said. “We’re not even going to look.”

“I told you, I’ve already looked,” Billy said. “I’ve been looking for the past month.”

“If what you said is right, if we’re the only ones there that could get anything done then why did they lay us off?”

Jimmy rolled his eyes and looked at Todd through the rearview mirror. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally he said, “They’re going to hire kids that are the age we were when we started, and pay them what they paid us when we started. They think it’ll save them money.”

“They’re probably right, you know,” Billy said, “technically speaking. It would probably be cheaper.”

Jimmy said nothing. He turned the radio to the Reds game. Billy took the everpresent paperback from his back pocket and began to read, losing himself in the world the writer created for him. Todd sat on the hump in the middle of the backseat. It was uncomfortable, but if he moved into one of the seats he might miss a snippet of information passed between the two in the front. Discussion was stilted and slow, as it always was. But Todd sat there anyway, looking out the window, the sun warming his face.

“$200 a week is not going to cut it Billy,” Jimmy said eventually.

“No shit,” Billy said.

“We all have car payments, insurance, and credit card bills. That doesn’t leave much left over. Do you have a plan?”

“Nope.”

“You’re the one that’s suppose to think shit up. That’s the way it works. You think shit up, I get laid and beat the hell out of people, and Todd, well… Todd whines a lot and we laugh at him. That’s the way it’s always worked. And now you don’t have a plan?”

Billy looked at Todd who was blushing (which only made it more funny) and said, “Jimmy, the Ladies of the Night that work for Quality Control don’t count. It‘s different if you pay them.”

“Damn it Billy, don’t go calling Mary Sue a whore,” Jimmy said.

“She’s not exactly chaste. She’s even slept with Todd over here.” With that he clapped Todd on the back, and noticed that Todd’s eyes were as big as saucers.

“You slept with my girlfriend?” Jimmy asked. He slammed on the brakes and pulled the car to the side of the road. “Get out of the car Todd.”

“What? I didn’t do it. I swear.” Jimmy looked at him hard. “Ok, I did do it, but how was I suppose to know that she was your girlfriend.”

“Fuck,” Jimmy said. He put his hand through his hair.

“You’re with a different woman every night. Besides, I didn’t even know that you knew her.”

“Bullshit,” Jimmy said. “Get out of the car Todd. Make peace with your God little man.”

“No, honestly. We’d both just got dumped, so we went out for coffee to kind of -I don’t know- be depressed together I guess. We just sort of fell into each other. Kind of like a little bit of a respite I think. I didn’t know Jimmy, I promise.”

“Billy,” Jimmy said calmly, “what the hell is a respite?”

“It’s like a time out .”

“From what?” Jimmy asked.

“Well in Todd’s case from bitching and moaning about how much he misses Sarah.”

“Ok,” Jimmy said. Then he started the car again and pulled out into traffic.

“I didn‘t really like her too much anyway. She talks too much, plus she chews gum with her mouth open a little. It‘s gross.”

“Jimmy, you just threatened my life,” Todd said. “Why would you do that? Especially if you didn‘t like her.”

“It‘s like the remote control.,” Jimmy said.

“How’s that?”

“I don’t really need it after I pick what show I’m going to watch. But, I don’t want you to have it.” Jimmy smiled real big, then added, “Plus, in alot of shows there are ALWAYS commercials.”

“Well isn’t that nice,” Todd said.

“Certainly an outstanding metaphor,” Billy added.

“Screw you guys.”

“I think not,” Billy said. “But either way, back to the task at hand. Which is of course food and shelter. We don’t have enough of the former, and pretty soon we’ll have none of the latter. The solution of course is money.”

“I swear I don’t even know what you just said. Why do you always have to talk like that?” Jimmy said.

“I don’t try to confuse you, it’s just so easy.”

“Do you want me to pull this car over again?” Jimmy asked, but he was smiling this time.

“I’ll beat your hillbilly ass Jim-bo.”

“That’s it, you little bookworm son of a bitch. You’re a dead man.”

They were both grinning now.

Let’s go camping.” It was Todd. The other two had forgotten about him, which was more the rule than the exception, and when he spoke it startled them.

“Cut the shit Todd,” Jimmy said.

“Seriously, we can go camping. Save some money; it’s cheap,” Todd said.

Jimmy pulled into the parking lot of the Unemployment Office, shut off the car, and turned around in his seat to face Todd. “How cheap?”

“$300 a month.”

“Where is it at?”

“You really didn’t need to use the word ‘at’,” Billy said.

“What?” Jimmy asked.

“At is an extra word and a preposition. You should never end a sentence with a preposition. You should have said ‘Where is it?’”

“It’s this place I went as a kid,” Todd said. “It’s called Cowan Lake. My aunt and uncle would take me during summer break. Uncle Marvin was retired so they didn’t have to worry about missing work or anything like that. I don’t think my aunt ever had a job in her life. Other than taking care of him.” Todd stopped and stared down at his shoes. Billy was reading again, bored with conversation, but Jimmy was watching Todd. And he saw the far away look appear as Todd was speaking about his aunt and uncle; who, Jimmy knew, had been dead nearly a decade. He saw the tears well up in Todd’s eyes as he looked down at his feet and grimaced. When Todd looked up again and there were tears running down his cheeks, Jimmy was somewhat relieved. Sure Todd was crying, but at least he wasn’t making any of those sissy sounds he made sometimes.

“Anyway,” Todd continued, “Jim you know I never knew parents right?”

“Yeah,” Jimmy said.

“Well, Uncle Marvin used to think that it would be good for us to have a family vacation every summer. So, he took us there.” Todd’s voice was waivering a little bit now. Enough to even pull Billy from his book and turn around in the seat to face Todd.

“It has electricity and water fountains with spickets on them, so you can fill whatever you need to fill with water. There are trails, a beach, hell we could even rent a canoe if we want. It’ll be an adventure. It’s about forty miles south of here. We can go into town and look for jobs in the mornings, and spend the rest of the time doing outdoor stuff.”

It was quiet for a while, all of them sitting in Jimmy’s car outside of the unemployment office, the early May sunshine amplified through the windshield. It was hot, and they were all sweating, but none of them moved.

“Does it have an indoor pisser?” Jimmy asked.

“Yep, showers too,” Todd said.

“Whatdya think Billy?”

“I think it’s a bad idea.”

“Bullshit. You’re just pissed off you didn’t think of it yourself,” Jimmy said.

“Camping Jimmy? Come on man. You want to just get on unemployment and go camping?”

“It’s a good idea. Plus, maybe there are better jobs down there.”

“That’s outside of Wilmington right? There are NO jobs outside of Wilmington unless you want to be a farmer or pick fucking apples. Do you want to pick apples Todd? Todd, I certainly don’t want to pick apples, Jimmy do you want to pick apples?”

“No, but-”

“Cincinnati is only about an hour away,” Todd interrupted. “We can look down there. Maybe they got jobs down there.”

“But you don’t know, do you?” Billy said.

“It’s better than sitting on our asses at least. Plus, think of the women at the beach Jimmy said. He put his fingers on his left hand together like a chef, kissed them and said,“Magnifico.”

Todd, who realized that the thought of all those women at the beach just sold his idea to Jimmy got out of the car and motioned for his roomates to follow him. “First step is getting our checks from the county.”

Jimmy looked at Billy, got out of the car and ruffled Todd’s hair. “I got to tell you Todd, this is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Reluctantly Billy joined his roomates as they walked to county building, thinking of just how strange their summer was about to become.