I was catching up with my sexually adventurous friend called Stevie. I always describe Stevie as genderless because Stevie’s gender is irrelevant. I had known Stevie for as long as I could remember. Whenever I’d had ups in my life, Stevie was behind it. And when the inevitable downs came along, it was Stevie that raised me up. Stevie was the confident one of the two of us. It was Stevie that first introduced me to masturbation. It was Stevie that encouraged me to try so many different aspects of sex. Stevie visited me less as we grew older, but Stevie would always answer my call when needed.
“Please tell me that you are joking,” Exclaimed Stevie.
“No. I can honestly say I have given up on sex,” was my stark confirmation.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You are too young to make that decision.”
“It has nothing to do with my age. It is to do with the selfish and unimaginative nature of my partner, EssPee. I am bored with it. I resent giving EssPee pleasure and not getting anything back in return. My closing phrase at the end of the evening is usually, ‘put the light out when you have finished’. If I am lucky, I fall asleep quickly, and they just get on with it.”
“Well then, it is about time you stopped giving and started taking.”
“You agree with me then? I have stopped giving.” I stressed the word ‘have’.
“Yes, but now you need to start taking!”
“Oh, silly me, I never thought of that,” I said full of sarcasm, “And where do I find the confidence to do that?”
“Oh my god. You are in a bad way, aren’t you? Listen, if you have ever sold something, you will know the routine. You offer what they want, then withdraw the offer until they meet your price. If you were selling an old clothing item, you wouldn’t let the buyer come and steal it for free. You tell them what the price is, then they buy it, walk away, or haggle. Sex is just the same. You clearly have something they want; otherwise they wouldn’t keep taking.”
“I can’t start charging for sex. What are you saying?”
“It isn’t about money. You decide what you want in return for giving them pleasure. Think about what pleasure you want from them. That is then your price. What do you want from a partner?”
“I want empathy. I want them to know how I feel when they just take what they want.”
My close friend’s eyes lit up as if a switch had been turned on inside their head. “Then this is what you must do. You must do exactly as I say.”
***
The next time my EssPee stole sex from me, I waited until they’d finished, turned the lights off and fell asleep. I secretly stayed awake through all the grunting, sighing and sweating. They let out a sequence of loud snores. This was good as it kept me awake. Or at least stirred me from my light sleep. A few more snores and grunts, and I knew I could set about my business without fear of it going wrong. I still felt the need to test the water. “Are you OK?” I asked in a loud voice. Nothing except continued snoring.
I reached under the bed for the props that Stevie had purchased for me. I quietly slid the box out and found the low light torch that was number one on the list of items Stevie had said was necessary. Of course, this was now obvious to me because I didn’t want to risk disturbing the snoring EssPee by turning the light on.
Next, I silently slipped the first pair of handcuffs to the bedpost on my side of the bed.
Suddenly the snoring paused and became a sudden loud huff. My heart pounded, and my own breathing stopped. Shit, it’s waking up. I was able to breathe once again as the snoring resumed. I stole my way around the foot of the bed and gently snapped the second set of handcuffs to the other bedpost.
Then came my greatest challenge. I had to be quick. I took deep breaths to try and quell my adrenaline. This calmed me and made me pause for the slightest moment. And I thought to myself Is this going to be worth all the fuss? What will happen to me if I wake EssPee too early. Then I felt another surge of adrenaline. It was giving me a rush that I hadn’t expected and filled me with the courage to continue. I raised EssPee’s left arm and, as carefully as I could, finished the act of cuffing them to the bed.
I returned to my side of the bed, climbed onto it. And raised my knees, the way I had done so many times before. This had the desired effect and made EssPee turn over and move away from me. Without thinking, I grabbed EssPee’s right arm and snapped the other set of handcuffs tightly around their wrist. Stevie would have been proud of me.
Now the moment was mine! I still didn’t want to ad-lib, so I ran through my mind the instructions Stevie had given. The next step was less of a challenge than the previous one, but it was more frightening because there was no going back once I initiated it. At that moment, I could remove the shackles, and EssPee would be totally unaware of the events of the previous few minutes. I pondered, and I pondered some more. I asked myself the question, do you really want to regain an interest in sex? I answered my question out loud.
“Too fucking right. It’s my turn now.” The snoring just continued. I repeated my answer, but this time I shouted it. “Too fucking right. It is my turn now.”
I’d broken Stevie’s first rule. Do not ad-lib. I ran through each of the instructions Stevie had given me. What was next? Oh yes, I remember.
I got off the bed and turned the light on and turned off the torch. Still, EssPee snored. I took several deep breathes. I had to because I felt as if I was jumping off a cliff. Once it was done, it was done and no return.
I threw my glass of water at EssPee and slapped them around the face. “Right, you selfish fucker, wake up now! I am going to show you what it feels like to give and get nothing in return.”
EssPee woke up so quick it made me jump. “What the fuck. What are you doing?”
“Every time we have sex, you only satisfy your needs. You never consider my needs. Aren’t you ashamed of being so selfish?”
“What? I thought you enjoyed it.”
I felt a pang of guilt because the first few times we had sex, I faked an orgasm. EssPee stopped talking and attempted to wipe the water from their own face and realised that its hands were immobile.
“Would you like me to wipe the water off for you?” All I got in return was a string of expletives.
“You will pay for this! Let me loose. Now.”
“And you will keep a wet face. You will stay like this so long as I feel threatened by you and unsatisfied.”
“What do you want?”
“Simple, I want you to know how I have been feeling every time you satisfy yourself and use my body to do it.”
“I don’t understand. You are crazy.”
“You will understand. You might even enjoy the experience, but not until I have satisfied my own lust. Now shut up and don’t speak until I tell you to.”
I reached into the toybox and found the next prop. I placed the hood over Esspee’s head, followed by the headphones. EssPee’s legs kicked and thrashed, as I searched for the perfect tune to blast eardrums with. EssPee jumped visibly and stopped kicking as the Greek Sirtaki by A.T.H.E.N.A. assaulted their ears.
The following utility to exit the box was a set of manacles. I snapped one end onto the leg nearest to me, and while EssPee was still shocked into stillness, I captured the other ankle. I pulled the ends apart and locked the adjustable rod so that EssPees ankles were a perfect distance apart. I needed access to all the orifices EssPee had to offer. I wanted to steal everything.
The adrenaline surging through my body ensured I continued to tremble. There were still too many variables, and now I had reached the end of Stevie’s script. The final instruction, now just enjoy yourself, was far too vague.
I sent Stevie a text: “What now?”
The reply came back immediately: “Go and grab yourself an orgasm! I can come and help if you like.”
‘Grab yourself an orgasm.’ And ‘I can help.’ seemed a contradiction. I replied: “No, it’s OK. I’ve got it.”
I removed what bed linen remained on the bed. The body of EssPee was displayed in all its naked glory. Starting from the neck, my fingers lightly traced the contours of EssPee’s body. My touch was light and erratic. One minute my hands moved fast, and then the pace slowed as they reached the erotic regions of their journey.
My fingers circled EssPee’s nipples trying to get a sexual reaction from them. To help, I licked each nipple one by one and blew across them lightly. I licked again, and they felt chilled from the evaporated moisture. Once the nipples hardened and stuck out like tiny bullets, I took a nipple in each hand, pulling at them lightly to try and stretch the length of them both. I rolled them between my thumbs and forefingers. EssPee had stopped thrashing its legs about and now started to writhe to the rhythm of my teasing. With one hard squeeze of each nipple, I stopped, and the thrashing about started again. Time for a break and some alcohol.
I cupped my hand over EssPee’s genitals for a moment, then left the room. I sat in the lounge with my favourite tipple and started to explore my own body. I was identifying the areas that I wanted EssPee to please. The adrenaline of the unknown was replaced by the noradrenaline of sexual arousal. Something I hadn’t felt for such a long time. I was becoming aroused, and every part of my body that could become engorged and erect did so. Every orifice that could produce moisture did so.
I looked at my phone to confirm the sirtaki was still playing and to check the time. I had been in the lounge for forty minutes, and I was horny and ready to return and steal my sexual pleasure. My nervousness was replaced with sexual desire. It took a lot of restraint to stop myself from giving myself an orgasm. My urge was so strong that I had one focus: to steal my orgasm back from EssPee.
I entered the bedroom, slapped EssPee’s stomach to ensure they were awake. I climbed on the bed by EssPee’s head. What would Stevie want me to do now? Without waiting for an answer, I lifted my left leg and sat firmly on Esspee’s masked face. I ground my sex against where I imagined EssPee’s mouth was. It felt so good as the friction of the mask rubbed against my aching and moist genitals. EssPee was squirming, and I guessed it was because EssPee was gagging for air.
“Hard luck, you selfish fucker. I don’t care what you want. I want to orgasm.” I screamed, knowing full well that EssPee couldn’t hear me.
To be continued.