Legacy: William’s Story
By YodaandLumiere
1748
My family had lived in the north for generations beyond memory. We had as many Scots in our family as English, living so close to the border. We lived in a tiny village known as Silverton. It was near the springs of Gilsland, on the border. I spent many nights of my youth, camped next to Hadrian’s wall.
I had spent most summers helping old Mr. Turnbull with his sheep and crops on the Scottish side of the wall. I grew up alongside his children. His daughter Liza was my age. Matthew was next, he was a handful of years younger than us. And then there were two younger sisters, Margaret and Frances.
Farmer Turnbull, Matthew and myself worked well together and I enjoyed the labor.
I was eighteen that summer and restless. More restless than ever before. I wanted everything a young man wanted. I craved adventure, independence, companionship. I was ready to find my destiny. My mother and grandmother lived in the village. They both called me a dreamer. And maybe I was. What’s the harm in dreaming?
My dreams stretched beyond the borderlands of my youth. I imagined myself in London or even further south in Cornwall, on the far southern coast. I had even bigger dreams of heading across the seas to the colonies and starting my own life, anew, in a new place. I always felt restless.
I had confided in my cousin Thomas, that I was restless and craving adventure. He informed me that that meant it was time to marry and settle down. He was sure a wife and family would knock that craziness out of my mind. I needed to support my mother and grandmother. It was time to be practical.
I asked Liza to marry me. We had not courted. We were not interested in each other, really. But young women and men were not in abundance, so many people around here married someone of a similar age and in close proximity. Liza accepted my proposal. That winter, during the holiday festivities, we were wed. I was nineteen and she was eighteen.
At nineteen, I was just over six feet tall, broad shouldered, muscular and lean from hard work. I had dark hair and dark eyes. I looked like many of the Medford men in my family had. Most of my father’s side of the family was gone now. Almost all my surviving relatives were Reeds, my mother’s side of the family.
Liza was fair, with light red hair and blue eyes. She was a beauty, to be sure. She was a strong girl, both of body and of will. She would make an ideal wife and mother. I really should have counted myself lucky. But unlike what my cousin Thomas Reed had said, I now felt more trapped than ever.
And so it was, I, William Medford, took Liza Turnbull to be my lawfully wedded wife just as 1748 ended and the new year began.
Liza and I were friends. We never were in love. It took a full year for us to become with child. Liza was worried that everyone would blame her for being infertile. But truthfully, we nearly never laid together, as man and wife. I was to blame for our lack of children.
I was relieved when she finally fell pregnant. I had nearly a year ahead of me where I wouldn’t need to lay with her again.
During those months of her pregnancy, I was spending time away, hunting, fishing, trading. Anything really, to stay away. I had met a landed Lord in my travels to trade in the bigger, distant villages along the border. He had taken an immediate liking to me. It made me nervous and oddly aroused.
I had seen my cousin Thomas getting his cock sucked by his wife’s mother, behind the barn one day. I watched. The nature of the encounter had made me excited. But more than anything, I found myself watching Thomas. The way his body moved. The look of pleasure on his face. His cock was smaller than mine, but I wished it was me on my knees in front of him instead of his mother-in-the-law. This memory flashed into my mind when I met the Lord.
His name was Eric, he looked like a Viking, much like his ancestors had been. He was larger than me, very fair of hair and eyes. His skin was tan from spending all his time working outside. He was in his mid 30’s. He was married and had seven children. But that night, he wanted me in his bed. I was terrified at first, at the thought. But that memory of Thomas’s cock entered my mind, unbidden, and my body reacted and betrayed my innermost thoughts and desires.
Eric took me to his bed and when I resisted, out of fear, not lack of desire, he forced me. It was incredible. I enjoyed every part of it, even the fear and the forceful submission. I had sucked his large, pale cock, as it jutted from the curly red gold hair that covered his chest and crotch. He would force my face down into that hair with his shaft down my throat. I gagged and he would just push harder.
I thought about our encounter constantly, for weeks. I would pleasure myself while thinking about Eric, behind my house every night while my pregnant wife slept inside. She was close to giving birth, otherwise I would have traveled to see Eric again. My whole body throbbed with want for him.
The last few weeks of her pregnancy, Liza was very ill. She couldn’t keep her meals down. She would have a fever on and off. The doctor had no answers other than advanced pregnancy. I prayed she would feel better soon as the birth became imminent in the evening after her worst fever yet. She labored for close to 30 hours. She was so weak before it started, I was in awe that she had survived the ordeal thus far.
It was afternoon when the baby finally came. It was a boy. He was born deceased. Liza became a ghost of herself and stayed abed for several months. The doctor thought the illness must have been caused by our son’s death. She must have carried his dead body for several weeks before she delivered him. The doctor was surprised Liza had survived, too.
Liza’s body had survived, but she had not. She had lasting effects from the fevers and her mind was broken, beyond repair by the sorrow.
We never attempted another pregnancy. We never shared a bed again. I had been back to see Eric several times as another year went by. The times with him were what I lived for. I didn’t care deeply for Eric, I just needed him. I needed him to use me, to order me to my knees. I would feel complete joy in those moments.
When he first bent me over in his chamber and forced his manhood inside me, I tried to pull away and he wouldn’t let me. He overpowered me and forced himself inside, deeply, repeatedly. It burned, it hurt and I loved it. The harder he used me and abused me, the more I wanted. I wanted this everyday. I wept as I made my way back to Silverton after that visit.
A few months later, Liza went to visit her parents at the Turnbull farm. After two days at her childhood home, she wandered off in the night while her parents and sisters slept. In the morning, her father found her drowned in the creek almost a mile from the house. No one knew if she had fallen and hit her head, sleepwalked or drowned herself purposefully.
It was late in 1752, I was 23 now. I was a widower and the father of a son who had never taken a living breath. I had been having sexual relations with a married man and I was deeply unhappy. I went through my daily chores like a shadow. I visited my mother and my grandmother. I had the same conversations. I would go to the tavern with Thomas, but most nights, I would cry in my bed.
I never wanted Liza, but I felt guilt over her death. I missed her in my home. She had been my closest friend. I hated this house more everyday. I felt trapped. That dream I’d had about heading south or across the ocean, became my obsession. When I became incapable of visiting my family, Thomas finally shook me back to my senses.
He told me I needed to go south. I should look for work. He would take care of my mother and our grandmother. He wanted me to go before I ended up in a creek, like Liza had. He was right and I agreed. In the spring of 1753 I left my mother and grandmother in his capable hands and with many tears I started to make my way south.
I made it to Sheffield. I needed coin, so I looked for work. There was a great deal of expansion going on in certain parts of the city, so I found work in building. Several of the men I worked alongside were also here just to work. We bunked together in a large canvas tent that summer and into the autumn.
One young man, by the name of Anthony, wanted to pleasure me. He made no secret about it when we were alone. I would let him suck my cock. I didn’t even want to suck his. He was too passive. Too submissive.
That winter I worked for a farmer and I helped him slaughter his cattle and run his butchery until the spring. I could have stayed and worked for him. He paid well and the work was honest and plentiful, but coming home, covered in blood every night isn’t what I’d dreamt about. So I gathered my savings and my belongings and I headed south again in the spring of 1754.
My next stop was in Leicester. I had twisted my knee right before I had arrived, so I decided to stay here for a while instead of traveling further for now. I got work at the stables of a large inn. I kept to myself mostly, as the people around me changed quickly and often. I felt like a stranger here. I couldn’t warm up to people that quickly.
The one thing about this new solitary life that
I found improved compared to before, was men, passing through the inn, were often looking for something different for the night. I took my fill of their darkest desires.
I found ways to approach the interested men, that clearly showed my sexual submissiveness. Most men felt better about using a man if they could be the conqueror. They would willing use a man, where they wouldn’t willingly be used by a man. That worked to my advantage as I wanted to be used. Always.
I sucked many cocks. I took nearly as many cocks inside me. Some were tender, which I didn’t want, but I still came off. Most were demanding, demeaning and verbally abusive and occasionally physically abusive. I was a large enough man that I could fight someone off if they tried to actually hurt me, not sexually. It turned violent a few times. I got beaten pretty badly on several rare occasions.
One night my companion had used my mouth, roughly. He had called me names and slapped me around. I was enjoying all of it. But after he had another drink he got angry. He must have felt ashamed or something and he was going to take it out on me. We were nearly the same size but he assumed I was a submissive man in all ways. I’m submissive sexually, but in no other way.
We fought until we were both bloodied. He flagged first and I beat him senseless once I got the upper hand. I decided it was time to head south again. I didn’t want to stay and see if trouble would find me again in Leicester.
That winter, just as the new year began, I found myself in London. I had been so excited about seeing London. It was massive and awe-inspiring. And after a month, I hated it. It was loud and filthy and no one was what they seemed. For the first time I was homesick for the border. I missed my family. So as the spring of 1755 bloomed, I headed north, to Silverton.
I arrived to find my family much as I left them, just a few years older. I had been away for a little over two years. I was a changed man. I was quieter, more introverted. I was stronger and larger, while feeling smaller somehow.
Within a year, I felt trapped again and even worse, I felt I didn’t fit in anywhere. I felt lost in my own hometown. The adventure I had taken wasn’t what I hoped for. I felt lonely all the time.
I knew I wanted a companion. I wanted something between Liza, Eric and several of the strangers I’d met along the way. I wouldn’t take another wife. I couldn’t take a male lover here in Silverton. Our community was too small, too nosey. I found myself traveling to distant villages, seeking this unnamed object of my heart’s desire. I found a stranger to use me on occasion, but nothing more.
I started to resign myself to a life of wanting. Sadness and unfulfilled desires. In the summer of 1757 my mother passed. She had a tumor that had caused her to waste away. Her death ended her suffering and intensified mine. My grandmother moved in with Thomas and his family. I was living in my mother’s house, alone.
I was 28 and I was miserable. I made others miserable with my presence. Thomas worried about me, like he had before. Again, he encouraged me to travel south. He suggested I try to make it all the way to Cornwall. Fulfill my goal. He thought that might be the key. Head to the colonies, if I still felt restless after I made the coast. So, that is what I set out to do.
At the end of winter, early in 1758, I set out for Cornwall. Nothing would stop me until I got there. I would work as needed, but always with the goal of reaching the end of the journey at the end of the country. My trip would not end until I reached the end.
March 1758
The weather was bad. The rain had started and I just couldn’t stand the thought of staying cold and wet any longer. I stopped at an inn in Nottinghamshire. I would warm myself by their hearth, I’d eat a hot meal and drink a few ales. They had no rooms available, but I couldn’t afford that luxury anyway. I would sit in the tavern room until I was dry or until they asked me to leave.
There were locals gambling near the fire. A father and son ate their supper and laughed with each other. The tavern girl flirted with the son, he was beautiful, so I wasn’t surprised. She thought to flirt with me, but I scowled at her until she dropped that idea.
The young man’s father told him goodnight and headed to his room. He had called the beautiful young man Henry. After his father left, the server nearly climbed into Henry’s lap. I watched him. I assumed he would take what was offered. The serving girl was lush and comely. She could probably convince any traveller to join her.
Henry sent her away. She looked shocked as I watched it play out. Maybe he was a loyal husband. Maybe he was sharing the room with his father, so he couldn’t bring the girl back to his bed. I watched and tried to figure it out. What was unquestionable, was the fact that Henry was incredible to look at and my body hardened as I watched him.
The serving girl busied herself with a new patron, who looked wealthy. Henry noticed me watching him so I looked down at my ale and tried to disappear into the shadows.
Then, he spoke to me. I couldn’t understand what he was saying because his voice was so eerily familiar. I had never met this beautiful man, but my mind was convinced I’d always known him.
He was nothing like the men I usually sought out. He was young, maybe eighteen or nineteen. He looked like a cherub. He had dark curls that floated around his gorgeous face. His smile was life changing. In the dark tavern, his eyes looked like gems. I could see golden flashes as he moved about. He was smaller than me, quite a bit so. He looked like an innocent child just becoming a man. And then he spoke again.
“Which way are you headed?” His voice caused a fire to erupt in my stomach and it spread into my balls. I wanted to answer him, just to hear him speak again, but I didn’t trust myself. I was frozen looking down at my drink. He must have decided I was ignoring him because I saw him search the room with his sparkling eyes.
After a few more moments he stood and stretched his arms over his head and yawned. He looked like a cat. His eyes were green and gold, I could see. He reminded me of a lithe, sleek cat stretching with satisfaction after a big meal. I wanted to be his meal. I wanted this beautiful man to use me. As he turned to walk away, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. He met my eyes and nodded at me and walked away. It was the sign I needed, and I followed him.
He didn’t know I was behind him. He jumped when he noticed me. He was at his door and he turned and stared at me. He looked scared and bold. I just stood, leaning against the wall in the hallway. I wouldn’t move closer. I didn’t want him to be afraid. More than anything I wanted him to want me and not fear me. I wondered again if his father was behind that door. He seemed to relax and he leaned against his door and the look on his face made my heart leap in my chest.
His eyes were black with need. His mouth parted slightly and I couldn’t help but smirk at his sexy look. I straightened and stood tall and he seemed mesmerized so I moved closer and closer still. I was so close, I could hear his breathing change as we came chest to chest. I looked down into his face and I wanted him so badly.
“Do you want to come in?” I had never wanted anything more in my life. I quickly processed that he must be alone in this room and I nodded more to myself, but he took that as my answer, which it was also that.
He turned to unlock the door and he brushed against me lightly. My whole body erupted into want and need. I had no idea if he could dominate me, but I almost didn’t care. It felt so unusual to be so attracted to such an unknown. But I wanted Henry, in any way I could have him.That realization washed over me as he opened the door and I followed him inside. I closed the door behind us and the room felt warm and comfortable.
“I’m Henry.” I let his voice saying his own name wash over me.
“I know.” I said it dumbly. Before he could think about it too much I continued. “I heard your father call you that.” I tried not to act nervous so I casually took off my cloak and my hat.
“He’s my cousin.” He was staring at me as he said it.
I looked about and noticed the large fireplace, with a perfectly built fire within. The painting that hung above it was so covered in smoke tar, I couldn’t tell what it was. My eyes fell on the bed. My mind raced and my body thrummed.
It struck me again how completely exquisite he was. I started to worry he would ask me to leave so I absentmindedly started to undo my buttons. I motioned that he should do the same, anything to get him to stop staring. He stepped towards me instead and touched my chest. My mind froze. He was so close, touching me. He smelled like a summer’s day, in the middle of this dirty room, in the wet, cold winter that surrounded us.
He pushed my coat off my shoulders. He was standing so close. I wanted him to stay close. I tried to introduce myself but I only got out one word. “William.”
He repeated it back to me, seeming to understand the introduction despite the lack of words. “William?” He tested it, like he was tasting it. It was erotic.
He reached for my shift as if to pull it out of my breeches. I wanted to undress him. I wanted to please him. I caught his soft hands in mine and stilled them. He dropped them back to his sides. I reached out to unbutton his shirt, and I looked at his beautiful face. He nodded at me, giving me permission to keep going, so I did. I worked until he stood before me bare from the waist up.
I noticed he was rigid beneath his pants. I brushed my hand over his massive erection. It looked very large against his smaller body size. That excited me and I just stood and savored the vision he was, standing here in front of me.
He reached for his belt and as he undid it, I automatically did the same. I watched him fully undress for me and somehow I had undressed myself completely at the same time. He looked at me with such lust that I couldn’t move. I was so erect that my tip leaked with my excitement. His body was glorious. He looked so soft but his cock was huge and standing tall and proud.
He reached out and put his hands on my chest. I wanted to fulfill his every need in that moment. “Tell me what to do.” I said it and I meant it. I would do anything he asked of me. He smiled at me then and I was lost.
“Lay back on the bed.” He had said it so firmly, it made my body ache. If he really did command me tonight, I would probably die of pleasure. I smiled at him, I couldn’t help it. I was so excited and happy. I quickly climbed onto the bed and lay in the middle, relaxing as much as I could. He started to come towards me and my erection strained as I watched. I touched his leg to make sure he was real.
He reached out and wrapped his hand around me. It felt perfect. I released a groan as I closed my eyes. This already felt better than anything I had experienced before. When he started to stroke my length and I couldn’t even move, it felt so good.
“William, I want you to suck my balls while you stroke my shaft.” His request was really a demand and I was in heaven. He had told me what to do, with authority, and I would give him everything. I pushed him gently to his back and ran my hands down his whole smooth body. He was warm and soft everywhere, except for his massive manhood, which was hot and rock hard.
There was no mistake that this was a man, not a boy. I paused as my face came to a stop right in front of that impressive staff. He looked me in the eyes and I wrapped my hand around his hardness. I licked his soft sack and I focused on his balls. I sucked them into my mouth while my hand stroked his cock.
“Stop!” He commanded me, but I smiled because I knew he was enjoying my mouth, almost too much. “Get on your hands and knees.” He pointed to the end of the bed as he ordered me to submit. I obeyed his demand and braced myself, just like he asked, right in front of him.
Suddenly his hand was on my testicles and it felt amazing. He was gentle but it still sent shivers racing through me. I sank down so I could spread my legs wider. I wanted him to touch anything and everything he wanted to.
He dragged his soft fingers up my ass and he touched my hole. It felt like heaven. I prayed he would use that hole with his big cock. I was nearly dizzy with want and I moaned and gasped in my need.
“William, tell me you want my cock.” His command proved he read my mind. I wanted his cock desperately.
“I want your cock, Henry. Please put it inside me!” I begged him as I looked over my shoulder at his giant erection. I wanted it so much and he answered by standing up tall on his knees and moving in, closer behind me. He ran his wet tip along my crack and my arms gave out and I lowered myself to my chest and spread myself even wider to him. Inviting him to use me for all his pleasures.
He reached between my legs and stroked my shaft. He rubbed my wetness that covered his fingers, onto my entrance. I pushed back into his fingers, desperate for more.
“You seem ready.” He purred it quietly.
“Please!” I begged him while nearly biting the blankets beneath my face. He relented and pushed the tip inside me. It was exquisite. My whole body begged for more contact, more pressure, more pleasure. I opened myself to him and I felt him push further inside. And then even further. I wanted him to use me even harder!
“Henry, please I need you. Harder, please!” I begged him, which I usually didn’t do as the one summiting, but I couldn’t help it. The words came out even as I groaned my pleasure. He answered my plea, slamming into me until I felt his hips on my bum.
He started to pull out and I growled his name into the mattress as he slid back in, fully. His balls lightly slapped against mine and he seemed to snap. He started pumping into me faster and faster. It felt like lightning striking my whole body. His erection was bigger than any I’ve taken inside me and it made me make noises I’ve never made before. I heard his name rip out of my mouth, several more times as he pummeled me.
We sound like animals in heat. I heard myself howl as my climax started to build. The pleasure and the pressure keep building and I could barely stand it. “YES, God yes!” My shout echoed around the room and he started pounding me, slamming into me deeply, until my legs gave out under me. He rode me down to the bed and kept thrusting.
It felt like nothing I’ve ever felt. I could tell he was moments away from his climax and my body erupted. As he pounded me into the bed, his own release caused him to yell out in ecstasy. My swollen head ground into the woolen coverlet with his thrusts. The friction became too much and my release was massive and my whole body shuddered. He kept thrusting. I felt his hot seed as it spilled deep inside me. He collapsed onto me, still embedded inside my hole.
He rolled off me after a moment. I turned to look at him. I never want to forget how he looked right then. He was beautiful. He looked at the ceiling and I reached out and ran my hand along his soft, sweaty body. I felt his wetness all around the base of his shaft. I wanted nothing more than to take care of him so I got up and found my large kerchief. I cleaned him gently.
I wiped my own seed and sweat off myself. I wanted him to touch me again so I laid the cloth next to him and I turned my bottom to him. His seed had leaked out of me and he used the cloth to wipe me clean. I took it from him and I settled onto my back with my head on the pillows. He rested next to me.
“Thank you, Henry.” Even as I said it, I’m not sure what I mean. I am so thankful to this man for the pleasures he’s given me, but I’m also thankful for his companionship. This has felt so different, from the moment I followed him down that hall. I will forever be changed by this night. And I’m grateful for that.
He gently asked if he had hurt me. I assured him he did not. I asked him if I had pleased him. I never asked that. Never. But I wanted to know, so badly, for some reason. When he assured me that he had enjoyed me, I smiled into the darkness.
He got so quiet then that I began to worry. Just because he had enjoyed me didn’t mean he wanted me to stay.
“Should I leave?” That’s not what I meant to say. I tried to amend it, “or do you want more?” My lord, that isn’t what I meant to say at all. I wanted more but none of that is what I wanted to say.
“I need a few minutes before I can do that again.” Of course! I knew that. That was his answer to my stupid question. I needed to fix this before he thinks I’m an idiot.
“I can do whatever you want.” I seriously have no idea what I’m even saying. That isn’t what I wanted to say either. I meant that I’d leave, or stay, or pleasure him all night, whatever he wanted, but that isn’t what I said. I almost started to panic.
“Could you do that to me?” That’s what he said. It was the last thing I expected, but he didn’t want me to leave. I smiled at him. I usually didn’t do that to men, but I wanted to be inside him.
“I will make you feel as good as you made me feel, Henry. Tell me when you want me and I’ll give you anything.” And I would. I would give this young man the world if he wanted it.
He leaned towards me and kissed me. I very rarely would kiss a man I laid with. They used me, and that was all I needed from them. But this man kissing me was everything I never knew I wanted. I kissed him back and wrapped him in my arms. He tasted like my wildest dreams come true.
As I kissed him deeply, with my tongue in his mouth to taste as much of him as possible, my hand traced down his smooth chest. I found his cock, already growing hard again for me, and I took him in hand. As I held him firmly, I pushed my hips forward and rubbed my huge erection against his stomach.
“Fuck me.” He moaned it against my lips. It was enough of a command to jolt me into action. I squeezed his rigid shaft hard enough to make him gasp loudly. I took advantage and plundered his mouth with my own.
I felt bold with him in my arms. I rolled on top of him and moved my hips so that our straining members rubbed along each other. I wanted to please him more every moment I spent near him.
“How do you want me Henry? I want to make you feel good, so tell me what to do to you.” I was asking for him to command me, even as he lay beneath me. He seemed to understand immediately.
“I want to ride you, get on your back, now.” He sternly commanded and my heart and cock both leapt with joy. I quickly lay back with my head on the pillows and unconsciously stroked my aching member while he watched me.
He looked at me like he was pleased by what he saw. It made my heart beat quickly and I smiled at him, so happily that he seemed to almost get uncomfortable. But the look passed as quickly as I saw it.
He turned around then and moved his rear end closer to me. He clearly wanted me to help ready him for my large manhood, and I eagerly obliged. I spit into my hand and reached out to touch him.
I ran my wet fingers down his cleft. I started to rub his tight hole until he relaxed a bit. I used my fingers to gently stretch him open, preparing him for so much more. I could tell by his sounds and movements that he was ready.
I couldn’t resist gently patting his gorgeous arse as I said, “I think you’re ready, Henry.”
He turned around and climbed into my lap. I was struck again by how truly beautiful this man was. He looked like a fallen angel about ready to debauch himself with the devil’s cock.
His body seemed to respond to my unholy thoughts because his swollen erection jumped as he braced himself over me. I put my large hands on his waist to support him as he lined himself up to receive me.
“Put it inside me, William.” He firmly commanded and I wanted to do his bidding desperately. I pushed up until my wet tip started to open him to me. I was trying to go easily, gently, but he grew impatient.
He pushed his hips down and my head sunk into him. He gasped and went completely rigid and still. He grimaced and I was terrified I had hurt him. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do.
“Henry?” I asked gently but he didn’t seem to hear me. “Am I hurting you? Should I stop?” I asked with a bit of fear creeping into my voice.
“No, don’t stop.” He said it through gritted teeth. I was starting to really worry. He blew out a huge breath then and I felt his body start to relax. His face looked normal again, instead of pained. He smiled then and said, “I just need a moment, please.”
I nod and I held him in place. I supported his weight so he could fully relax. We looked into each other’s eyes with our bodies connected so intimately. I felt the shift in him and he nodded to indicate he was ready. I started to gently lower him onto my shaft.
He’d barely taken another inch before he groaned and shifted. As I kept lowering him, he threw his head back and yelled out “NOW!” He forced himself down onto my thick cock until he slammed himself all the way onto my bollocks.
He screamed and began to shake immediately as our bodies fully connected. It felt so good that my eyes closed and my hands gripped his waist tighter, my fingers digging into his soft flesh.
“Fuck me now William, fuck me until I can’t remember my own name”. He begged me in a whimper as his body trembled with my full length embedded deeply inside him.
My need overtook my patience and I started thrusting up into him. When my need for even more contact grew, I started pushing him up and down my shaft to elongate every penetration while I bucked my hips below him.
As I recklessly fucked him I started to focus on the sounds he was making. He was screaming in pleasure, his hands clawing at my shoulders and neck as he fought to hold on.
I started to watch his beautiful face as it contorted with pure ecstacy. He yelled my name and then he looked right into my eyes. It snapped my control and I started thrusting ever harder, seeking more depth, more friction.
I raised my hips up off the bed and I pulled him down onto me over and over. I was straining and grunting beneath him as I watched his body take me deeply inside. I watched him come complete apart as his climax overtook him.
He threw his head back and roared as hot cum sprayed from his swollen head. More and more pumped out of him with my every thrust. I frantically pushed harder and faster until his seed splashed onto both of us. I felt it dripping down my cheek and I tasted him on my lips.
His orgasm pushed me to the brink and beyond. I started to feel my cock throb inside him as I screamed my own release. I pulled him flush against my hips and gripped him tightly in place as my body emptied itself within him.
I fell back flat onto the bed and he followed me down to lay upon my heaving chest. I ran my hands along his damp body as we lay there, breathing raggedly, our bodies still connected.
I wished that I could hold this man to my body like this every night. We fit together perfectly and he was the most incredible, beautiful man I’d ever encountered in all my years.
I realized he was feeling something equally as powerful as I felt his tears hit my chest. I just held him tighter while I still could. I rolled us to the side, my shrinking desire still inside him. I pulled him closer and held him tightly to my body.
He shifted a short while later and our bodies disconnected. I could feel our wetness growing cold between us. I wiped up the sticky fluid with a corner of the coverlet. Once we were both cleaner, I gathered him into my arms and we fell asleep in that perfect embrace.
In the early morning, I felt Henry shift beside me. He pulled his body from under mine and got out of the bed. I heard him use the privy chamber, draining himself of last night’s ale.
As he started to dress in the dim light, I stayed still and watched him. I thought back to what he had asked me in the tavern the night before. He had wanted to know which direction I was headed. I wanted to know his answer to that question as well.
He looked at me and as I held his eyes I said my answer. “South.”
“What?”
“You asked me which way I was headed last night. I’m heading south. What about you?”
He sighed and my heart broke before he answered. “I’m headed north.” I should know better than to get my hopes up. I nodded slightly to myself while I tried to hide my disappointment.
I had no reason to believe he wanted more anyway. He seemed to enjoy our encounter as much as I did, but that didn’t mean he actually felt the way I did. He could be married for all I know. I tried desperately to not act as devastated as I felt.
He sat on the bed to pull on his boots. I sat up and moved to the edge of the bed to sit beside him. When he stood, I stood. He faced me and I knew this was the end of the best moments of my life.
I took the risk and I pulled him into my arms and his lips easily met mine. With that small encouragement, I poured all my affections and desires into that final kiss. I kissed him until I was weak from it.
He rested his head on my chest and I wondered if he could hear my heart breaking. I kissed the top of his head, feeling his silky curls on my skin and lips.
With him still in my arms, my words tumbled from my lips, unbidden. “I’ll never forget you Henry. Never.”
His final words answered me. “Me neither, William. Thank you.” And then he turned out of my grip and walked through the door.
I don’t know how long I stood there naked and raw, but I was colder and lonelier than ever before. I sat on the bed and watched the last embers burn lower in the hearth. I dressed myself slowly and still refused to leave this room. I knew he wasn’t coming back but I still couldn’t leave.
Eventually I heard the other guests moving around in the hall and in the tavern room below and I remembered the loud, animalistic noises we had made late into the night. I needed to leave before someone inquired after the disturbance.
I quietly exited the pub and continued on my way south. Instead of heading directly south to Leicester, where I had trouble last time I was there, I headed southwest toward Birmingham. I knew it was growing quickly and there would be work.
The weather continued to be terrible and the roads were impassable for weeks. I felt like I was on the road forever without getting anywhere. My frustration grew and I gave in to my tears more than once.
Every cold, wet night I lay awake thinking about Henry. I longed for him. I missed his beautiful face and body. I missed his smile and his voice. His soft hair and tender lips haunted my mind constantly.
I craved that closeness I had felt with him and no other. I wanted him to command me to our mutual pleasure. I wanted him in all ways. I wondered if he thought of me.
After a much longer trip than expected, I finally arrived in Birmingham. I found work right away and worked myself to exhaustion everyday to escape the memories that haunted me. I worked and saved my money.
I was too restless to stay for long. And in the middle of spring, I headed southwest again, towards Bristol. I made it as far as Worcester before I stopped dead in my tracks. I was frozen with indecision.
I wanted to get to Bristol and see about sailing to the colonies from there. I wanted to put England behind me. My fears started to creep in around me. The fear of feeling trapped no matter how far away I got. The fear of always seeking and never finding.
As I sat in the tavern in Worcester, trying to get drunk, my mind raced, finding no answers. I didn’t want to look for work here. I needed to go somewhere, anywhere but I could not make myself do it.
The third night I spent sitting in the tavern was the worst yet. It was loud and the ale tasted stale and overly yeasty. My stomach roiled with my nerves and fears and the bad beer. I barely noticed the man that stood next to me.
“What are you running from?” He asked me with such a proper voice, it made my head pop up to see who had spoken.
“I’m sitting, not running.” I looked at his face. He was young and handsome and his clothes spoke to his wealth. He was commanding just standing there. That usually got my body to react, but this time it did not. He was what I usually looked for, but I wasn’t interested.
“Why are you sitting then? You were sitting here yesterday. And the day before.”
I was taken aback that someone had been watching me for days and I didn’t notice. It made my anxiety even worse.
“I’m headed to Bristol.” I stated even though I realized it wasn’t an answer to what he asked me. It sounded weak to my own ears.
“No, you’re not. You’re sitting in Worcester. Why?” He was so direct.
I couldn’t answer his question. Why? Why was I sitting in Worcester? Why was I frozen in place at all?
When I didn’t answer him, he continued to interrogate. “What’s your name?”
“William.” I said.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you William. I’m Charles, but everyone calls me Northampton.” He said it and paused waiting for me to figure it out.
Northampton? Why would they call him that? It struck me like a ton of rocks! He was a peer. An Earl or higher in rank would be called by his county. If I remembered my lessons correctly, he was in fact, an Earl.
I bowed slightly and mumbled to my feet. “My Lord.”
“Oh, do stop that at once. I came to the pub to escape all that. Beaufort is full of ridiculous nobles and titles, what with him being a Duke and all.”
“The Duke of Beaufort?” I said it aloud, but I had no idea who that was. I had never needed to know anything about the nobility.
“Yes, he’s to be my father-in-the-law. I’ll be marrying his daughter Ann, next year. Are you married?” He seemed to really want to strike up a conversation. Conversing was always difficult for me and this was even more so.
He was young, probably around the same age as Henry. He was richer than anyone I’d ever met and certainly higher ranking than anyone I’d probably ever meet. He was intimidating and he wanted to have a chat.
“No, my wife died years ago.” I answered honestly.
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry William. Is that why you’re sitting in Worcester?” He wasn’t going to drop it, apparently.
“I made peace with her passing long ago. I really am heading to Bristol. Worcester is just a stop along the way.” I knew that story was full of holes and he did, too.
“You’re not telling me everything, now are you?” He continued to probe. “Are you looking for company tonight?”
He would have been so easy to obey if I’d met him before that night in Nottinghamshire. I just stared at his face wishing he was someone else. I finally shook my head to say no.
“That’s really too bad. You are very desirable William.” He leaned closer trying to convince me to change my mind.
“Thank you, but I’m not looking for company. I’m sorry.” I hadn’t had to turn down many men over the years. Especially one that was so attractive.
“You’re pining. I’d know it anywhere. If not for your dead wife, then who?”
How did he do that? It would be amusing if it wasn’t so creepy. “What makes you think I’m pining, exactly?”
“Oh, everything!” He gestured at me, up and down, indicating my “everything”.
I sighed loudly, feeling defeated. “I met someone but we had to go our separate ways.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? I was heading south. Their path was to the north.”
“But you’re not heading south, are you? You’re sitting in Worcester. Why?”
“Please stop asking me that.” I didn’t want to be rude to a peer, but I was ready to punch him for harassing me about why, why, why.
“If I don’t ask you why, how much longer do you think you’ll sit in Worcester?”
I didn’t have an answer for him. Why couldn’t I answer? Why was I sitting here? What did I want? I wanted Henry. But Henry was gone.
“I don’t know where in the north they went. I can’t follow my heart because I don’t know where it is.”
“It’s certainly not in Worcester. Nor is it in Bristol. Maybe you should wander north and look for your heart.”
“No offense, my Lord, but the area north of Nottingham is vast.”
“That is true. But your heart is there. Going south is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard. I think you know it and that’s why you’re stuck in Worcester.”
I looked at his face then. He was right. I was stuck. I didn’t want to go further south because it took me further from Henry. But I didn’t know where Henry was. I had no chance of finding him. But if I went back north the impossible chance was still larger than it was if I went south.
“Where are you from?” He changed tactics.
“Silverton, on the border in Northumberland.”
His whole face lit up at that. “You’re from the north, how interesting. When was the last time you were home?”
I rolled my eyes at his obvious ploy. “I just left there a number of weeks ago. I left to go south. To Bristol or Cornwall. And possibly on to the colonies.”
“The colonies! Oh no, that will never do. The colonies are completely uncivilized, or so I’ve heard. Why would you go there?”
“I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.”
“And you think sailing around the globe to a hostile land full of heathens and rebels will help you?” He shook his head dramatically.
“I don’t fit in anywhere. Maybe I will find my place there.” It sounded unconvincing even as I said it.
“It sounds like you’d have a better chance of finding your heart in the north than finding your place at the world’s end. Don’t you think?”
“Maybe.” I didn’t know anymore. All I wanted was Henry. I wished I’d followed him north. He hadn’t asked me to. He probably didn’t even want me to. He probably had a real life in front of him that he wanted, not a twisted affair with a man that wanted to be dominated.
Even as confused as I was about everything, I would never regret my one incredible night with Henry. It was the brightest moment in all my lifetime of memories. I had to accept that it was just that, a memory.
“William.” I heard the Earl call my name. I had been lost in my thoughts.
“Yes, I’m sorry?”
“What do you need to happen to get out of Worcester, at least? I’m concerned about you sitting in this tavern much longer.”
“I’ve wasted my coin the last few weeks, stalling. I need to work for a time to travel again. Whichever way I end up going.”
“That sounds like a better plan than sitting here. Can I assist you in finding work?”
“No, my Lord, I can easily find work on my own, but I thank you.”
“Alright. I won’t pester you any longer, but I will find you if you’re sitting in this terrible tavern again tomorrow. And I will take you to task about it.” He smiled as he jested with me.
As he turned to leave her knocked my gloves off the bar, onto the floor. Before I could react, he bent down and picked them up. He made a show of dusting them off, with a flourish.
I laughed at his antics. I was so grateful he had forced me to talk to him tonight. I worked through more with him than I had managed alone in several weeks.
“Don’t lose these!” He said as he stuffed my gloves into my coat pocket. “Good night, sweet William.” He winked and smiled and then he was gone.
I got up and decided to find a bed for the night. Tomorrow I would find work and start making coin to travel on.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my gloves. I noticed they seemed heavy. I decided to put them back in my pocket for now. The tavern wasn’t the right place to investigate further.
The inn next door to this tavern had a cot by the fire available for the night. I made sure to sleep on top of the gloves since it wasn’t a private space. I knew that sneaky Earl had planted something. I imagined it was a coin.
In the morning I walked to the edge of town where some new buildings were being built. Before I asked around about work, I went behind some thick brush and looked in the gloves.
I was shocked to find two gold coins! Northampton had given me a fortune. I had never had my own gold coin, let alone two of them!
I could easily book passage to the colonies and get a fresh start with this money. It would take me far before I needed to work again. It would also see me north, as far as I wanted. I could help my family.
I should use this money to help my family. As soon as I had that thought, I couldn’t think of anything else. I should head back home and make sure my grandmother and cousin were taken care of. I could decide what to do after that.
I knew I was repeating the same cycle, but at least this time I could give my family security, even if I never found my own way. I had started to believe that I was destined to be lost and unhappy. I was an abomination against God, and as such, I was doomed to suffer for it, for as long as I lived.
I would never feel settled. I would never have that companionship I craved. The best I could do was be a good man for my family. So instead of finding work, I headed north. It was time to go home again.
It was June when I arrived back home. Thomas and my grandmother were happy to see me, but they hadn’t expected me back so soon, if ever.
When I showed them the money I had brought home to help them with, they rejoiced. Thomas’s health hadn’t been good all spring and he was unable to work as much as before. The Earl’s money would save my family.
After much discussion, it was clear to us that Silverton was not the place for older people with no young farmers in the family anymore. We decided to move them to live near Thomas’s wife’s family in Newcastle. They had a business that would employ Thomas and he needn’t toil in the fields to support his children.
I stayed with them in Newcastle for the summer. As summer turned to autumn, I explored Newcastle on Tyne and into Northumberland. I hunted and fished, much like I had done in my youth. I was twenty nine now and it wasn’t enjoyable like I remembered it being.
I had decided to put my remaining money in the bank and look for work for the winter. I had traveled to Alnwick to trade at the fair before winter set in when I heard about a local harvest festival happening in several days’ time. The man at the pub was telling everyone that all comers would be welcomed.
I knew these northern harvest festivals drew the hard working folks from all the area villages, so it would be a good place to look for work. It would also be a place to eat and drink far better food than any tavern or inn served. The two reasons combined convinced me to attend.
I walked with several families that were heading to the festival. It was being held at a landowner’s house outside of town, so I followed them there.
My first impression was that the estate was beautiful. The house was sound and comfortable looking and the outbuildings looked recently repaired. There were many more people in attendance than I expected.
I saw an older couple strolling in the gardens that I believed were the hosts. The old man looked familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him. Maybe I’d seen him in Alnwick over the last few days.
The feast was immense and as delicious as I had hoped. I found a group of tenant farmers sharing a barrel of ale and I listened in to see if anyone mentioned work. They all raved about this year’s harvest and the new landowner and their changed fortunes.
I introduced myself to several of the men and asked about work, but no one had any leads at the moment. As it started to get dark, the families melted away. I started to follow a group back into town when I saw a young man near the fire.
He looked so much like Henry that it struck me dumb. I stared but he moved further away, on the other side of the bonfire. He disappeared behind the revelers as they danced around the fire in the growing darkness. I moved towards the fire in a trance.
I saw the older couple again and I realized it was the man I’d seen traveling with Henry. The man I had thought was his father. That meant the man by the fire had to have been Henry! Was that actually possible? Were my eyes playing tricks on me?
I walked around the fire in a complete circle, but Henry was gone. He’d faded back into my memory. I hadn’t really seen him. I must have been dreaming it up. I stood in one place and looked around, turning and searching in every direction.
In the darkness, closer to the house I saw a lone figure, standing beyond the firelight, watching the revelers from afar. If I hadn’t been searching for him, I’d never have seen him there in the shadows.
Giving him a wide berth, I moved around him to approach from the darkness behind him. I didn’t want to walk directly towards him. I wanted to get closer before he saw me. I had to see if it was really him.
I moved silently until I was behind a bush to his side. He watched the dancers and he swayed slightly, following the music. When he turned his head slightly, his angelic face caught the light and I knew it really was him.
“Would you like to dance?” I asked him from my place behind the bush. He whipped around and searched the darkness. He was looking in the wrong direction at first. Then he turned and took one step forward before he saw me.
He acted like he couldn’t believe his eyes and I saw him sway like he was drunk. I stepped closer and braced him against my chest. I pulled him in tighter and crushed him to me.
I felt his fingers grip my jacket. He tried to steady himself, but I would never let him fall.
“William?” He said it into my shoulder and then his body went completely limp. He had fainted in my arms.
I easily scoop him into my arms and I held him close as I walked towards the house. I hoped to find his cousin still around the festival. As I neared the front door, it swung open and his cousin stood inside. Was this Henry’s home? His festival?
“Oh my, did Henry drink that much punch?” The older man said quite jovially.
“I think he fainted. I don’t think he’s drunk.”
“Why would he faint?” He looked at me curiously. I didn’t know how to answer. Did this man know about Henry’s encounter with a man?
“I think I surprised him. Maybe he was frightened.”
“Why would he be frightened of you? You seem like a nice young man.” He was now leading me into the house, so I followed him.
“We met once and I don’t think he expected to ever see me again.” I don’t know why I was so honest. I should have kept it much more vague.
“What’s your name, son?” He asked me. It seemed innocent enough but I still felt a little suspicious.
“William. And your name is?” I asked that to hopefully steer the conversation back to him.
“I’m James. Where did you say you met my young cousin?”
“I didn’t say. We met in Nottinghamshire months ago.”
“Nottingham?” He pondered it as he led me into a bedroom that must be Henry’s. “Please lay him here. Do you think he’ll be alright? Did he hit his head or anything?”
I gently placed Henry on the bed. I ran my hand through his soft hair as I stared down at his beautiful face. The face that lived in my dreams nearly every night. James watched me carefully.
I looked up at him. “He didn’t hit his head. I caught him before he fell. I’m sure he’ll wake up soon. I’d like to stay with him until he wakes, if that’s alright with you?”
“William from Nottingham. You’re the one he met at the inn. How did you find him after all this time?”
He knew about me. About us. He wasn’t a big man, and he was older, but I still feared him a bit. “I had no idea this was his home. I came looking for work. I’m from Silverton and my family is in Newcastle.”
“Newcastle is lovely. I’m glad you could make it to the feast. Silverton to Sandhurst is quite a distance to travel for a festival.”
I heard the questions he didn’t ask. “I was in Alnwick several days ago, trading at the market, when I heard about the festival.” I left it at that. I could talk for hours about how I ended up here, but I wanted to focus on Henry.
“Henry used to get faint when he was young, don’t worry too much. He’ll be fine in a while, I’m sure of it. He’ll be glad to see you when he wakes up, so please stay. Do you need anything, William?”
He was so kind to me. “No, thank you. I’m going to wait here for him to wake.” I sat in a comfortable chair in the corner. He nodded and left the room. I watched Henry, silently in the darkened room all night. I didn’t even feel tired in his presence.
Hours later he shifted on the bed and started to wake. I waited, silently, to see what he would do next. He rubbed his eyes and moved to the edge of the bed. I instinctively moved to the edge of the chair.
He turned at my movement so I stood and stepped into the sun that was starting to filter into the room. “Are you well Henry? You fainted last night.”
He looked like he was trying to speak, but couldn’t. I moved closer to him. He watched me until I was right in front of him. He reached out his hand and touched mine. I took his hand and squeezed it gently. I could feel that his hands were now calloused from hard work and it ignited a fire in my belly. “This life looks good on you.” I said to him as I rubbed my fingers over his palm.
“What do you mean?”
“This.” I rolled his hand over in mine and traced his callouses. “Your hands were soft before, but now they look like this. The hard work has changed you. You look even better now.” And he did look good. I smiled as I imagined him naked. What else had changed?
“Where did you come from?” He asked as we held hands. I sat next to him on the bed.
“I live to the east, in Silverton. I arrived back in the north a month ago. I heard about the festival and I came looking for work.” I looked down, suddenly nervous. “But I found you instead.” I looked up at him to see how he would react.
“I’m glad you found me.” He said it and sounded relieved. I felt relieved.
“Me too.” That was more than true. I asked the question I’d had on my mind for months. “I didn’t know if you’d be happy to see me. Do you have a wife, Henry?”
“A wife! No!” He replied and then I saw him smile and he chuckled at my question.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that.” What else should I say? “I don’t have a wife either.”
“Well I would hope not!” He said it automatically and then looked sheepish. I felt embarrassed, but I was still happy that that was cleared up. At least a little bit. I still had so many questions.
Before I could think what else to say or ask he leaned towards me. I leaned in and kissed him lightly. My heart fluttered in my chest at the contact. When he didn’t pull back, I reached out and crushed him against me, taking as much as he could give me. He kissed me back just as hard.
“Breakfast, Henry!” We heard his cousin call from the kitchen. We jumped apart, startled by the interruption in the quiet morning.
“Let’s go eat.” Henry said to me. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen. I saw his cousin and the woman he had been strolling with yesterday, bustling about and setting four places at the table. I nervously dropped Henry’s hand before we stepped into the room.
The woman introduced herself. She was Henry’s childhood nurse who had fallen in love with James. She didn’t use those words, but it was obvious they were beyond smitten with each other.
James shook my hand and welcomed me. It felt like more than a welcome to the table. It felt like a welcome home. My heart swelled, but I tried to remain calm. Henry beamed at all three of us.
The food was delicious and plentiful. James and Ann chatted easily and made me feel comfortable. It was the most comfortable I could remember feeling. I felt like I fit. I had never felt like I fit anywhere before.
After the meal, the older couple left us alone in the kitchen. Henry seemed nervous, which actually made me feel less so. I knew I wasn’t the only one feeling somewhat overwhelmed.
“I usually do chores now.” Henry stated. He looked like he had much more on his mind besides his chores.
I didn’t want to walk away. I grasped at the only thing I could think of. “Do you want help with your chores?” I felt so nervous after I said it. I’d never worked side by side with a lover. But I wanted to do everything at Henry’s side.
“I would enjoy your company and your help, very much.” He replied, sounding as shakey as I felt.
“Where did they go?” I abruptly changed the subject back to James and Ann. I felt nearly sick with my nerves.
“I think they went out to the garden. They wanted to give us space I guess.” He looked as nervous as I felt. I couldn’t stand the tension any longer so I stood up. I took his empty tea cup and placed it with mine near the basin.
As I moved across the kitchen, he watched me. His eyes told me so much. I needed to touch him again and make sure he wanted me the way I wanted him.
I crossed back to him and pulled him up from his seat. I placed my hands on either side of his exquisite face. I stared at his incredible green and gold eyes. In their depths I saw my whole world. He looked at me like he wanted me.
I leaned in and kissed his soft lips. It quickly grew heated and I pushed my tongue into his delicious mouth. He clung to me and kissed me back with as much passion as I was giving him.
I nearly burst into tears, so I pulled my lips away and pulled him tightly to my chest. I held him like one of us might float away if I let go. We both calmed as we held each other.
“Chores?” I asked, hoping to be helpful to him and wanting to spend every moment possible in his presence.
His body was relaxed as he pulled away from my arms. His hand brushed mine and he looked calm and sure. “First up, horses.” He turned and I followed him. I would follow him anywhere.
His chores were quite easy for me and he seemed to enjoy watching me chopping firewood. I made quick work of splitting the logs, with sure, steady swings. I made sure to put on the best show for him that I could.
We walked back to the house together for lunch with James and Ann. It felt perfect being here with him. My thoughts turned to all the ways I wanted him to use me. I would be so content to do his chores and obey his sexual commands, every single day.
“Last night you said you were looking for work, what kind of work do you do William?” James asked me. I watched Henry as he followed our conversation closely.
“I can do any kind of work. Physical labor, building, farming, I’ve done a bit of it all”. I still couldn’t help but think of the work I’d like to do with Henry, in private.
James looked directly at Henry then. “Do you have a position for William?” He asked him.
I’m sure my eyes grew wide at that wording. I braved a glance at Henry and he looked pale and as uncomfortable as I was with the images that question brought to mind. I easily imagined the positions Henry would like to have me in.
“We were talking about hiring an estate manager so that you could retire and I would be able to focus on running the house and working with the farmers.” Henry said. I saw myriad thoughts race across his face as he considered the possibilities.
“Is that something you’d be interested in?” Henry asked me. He seemed reserved and hopeful, like he wanted me to stay but he wasn’t sure how I would feel about committing to being by his side on his estate.
I was interested. I was interested in the job and the beautiful man asking me that question. I answered honestly. “Estate manager is an important job, much more than I hoped for when I came back north for work. I am qualified, I just expected I’d have to work my way up to a position like that.”
He looked at me with awe or something. He seemed to realize that this could really work for us. He looked at me like he was really seeing me for the first time, as more than his one time lover. It made me feel warm inside. And happy.
“You’re hired if you want the job. It includes room and board as well as a salary. We can have a probationary period if you’d like to try it before committing.”
Did I hear that right? He offered me the best job I’d ever had, by far. He wanted me to stay. He was also cautious, trying to make me feel comfortable and not trapped. I wanted to kiss him in answer to the job offer.
I’m sure the room was vibrating with our unsaid thoughts and emotions. The sexual tension was getting to me and Henry. I could tell. James could obviously tell, too.
“I’m going to see Ann home, don’t wait up, I probably won’t be back until tomorrow. We’ll leave you two to discuss your future plans.” James said with multiple meanings as he led a blushing Ann from the room and out of the house.
I looked to Henry and he was clearly lost in his thoughts. I watched a full range of emotions play across his face. He looked nervous and scared and that scared me.
Before he and I could think on it too much more, I stood and extended my hand to him. He snapped back into himself and looked at my face as he accepted my hand. I led him to his bedroom.
Henry looked more like an angel than ever before. The golden light in his room made his curls glimmer and his eyes sparkled. I was in love with him. I needed to stay with him. I needed him.
“I want to stay Henry. I want the job. And I want you. Can this work?” I asked. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know. He smiled at me and my heart flooded over with love.
“This can work William, as long as you take control of the estate and relinquish control in this room, to me, every night”. He gave me a serious look. He wanted to command me. I fought down my excitement.
“During the day, you are my boss. At night you’re what? My……..” I considered what to say. I smiled as I continued. “At night you’re my master, my mate?” I looked at him with all the heat I could muster.
He smiled and licked his lips. “Yes, I’m your master AND your mate. Now, get on your knees and suck my cock.”
He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down. I gratefully fell to my knees and worked to open his pants. I wanted to obey him in every way.
I pulled his erection out and took him into my mouth. His taste flooded my senses and I sucked him hard. I heard him make a strangled sound in the back of his throat. I wanted him to fully enjoy this, so I scooped him up from where he stood and placed him down on the bed.
I lay him back and watched his eyes devour me. As we stared at each other, I sucked him down my throat again. I gently touched his tight stones and ran my fingers over his back entrance. I could feel him tensing as his pleasure grew.
“Take off your clothes, all of them, right now.” He commanded. I would never disobey him. I pulled my mouth away and took my clothes off as quickly as I could.
He was pulling his clothing off frantically as well. Soon we were both fully exposed to each other. His body, in this warm gold light, looked like an angel come to earth.
“Sit back and let me worship you.” Henry said in a seductive tone that made my body tingle. It was so different being here with him. I had only wanted men to use me. But I wanted to let Henry worship me. I would do anything for him, anything at all.
I smiled at him as I leaned back against the bed frame. I sat there, legs spread, exposed to this beautiful man and it felt perfect. The way he looked at me made me feel like he thought it was perfect, too.
He moved into my lap and rested his glorious bum on my hips. I reached for him, putting my arms around his waist. He leaned into me and we kissed deeply, passionately. This was not a hot, random encounter. It felt like a promise.
I kissed him while my hands explored his backside. I used my fingers to probe his hole. His movements against me and his soft sounds caused my body to harden into iron beneath him. He rubbed himself over my shaft, his own erection strained and pushed up against my tight abdomen.
“William, I need you inside me now. Please take me deep and slow. Show me how you feel about me with your body.”
I pushed one of my fingers into him while we kissed hungrily. He groaned and it sounded like a surrender so I slid a second finger inside his, opening him for me. Preparing him for something much larger.
He pushed back onto my fingers, his body craved more. “Please, Will, please fill me now.” He whined it across my lips.
Hearing him call me Will caused an inferno to burst forth in my loins. I spat into my hand and palmed my huge member until I was slickened. “Call me Will again Henry, please.” I begged him to command me using his version of my name.
“Yes, Will, yes, take me. Take me now, Will!” He said it into my hair as he clung to my neck. I gripped him around the waist and I held my cock in place as I pushed it forward, entering him. He gasped at the intrusion, but it was clearly a sound of pleasure. He surrendered to me completely then.
He had asked me to take him slowly earlier. I could barely contain myself, but I fought for control. I wanted to please him even as my body wanted to claim him, recklessly. He sensed my need.
“Yes Will, fuck me harder, now, Will, now!” His command was loud and firm and filled with need and desire all at once. I couldn’t resist him. I needed to give him everything.
I pushed up into him as I pulled his body down my thick shaft at the same time. I thrust into him frantically, seeking more and more of him. I gripped him harder as a roar grew in my throat.
I felt completely wild. My animalistic noises filled the room, perspiration rolled down my face and chest. I held his smooth body tightly while I plundered his ass. I controlled the movement of both of our bodies, creating the friction we both desperately desired.
His body fit against mine perfectly. My hands gripped him tighter, pushing and pulling him along my swollen shaft. I used his hole as hard as I had ever used any man, if not harder. I couldn’t stop.
He had his mouth on mine, kissing, biting and sucking my tongue and lips as he rode me. He needed everything I was giving him as much as I needed to give it to him.
“Will, Will, WILLLLLLL!” He screamed my name with his head thrown back as our bodies crashed together.
“Henry. My Henry.” I answered through my gritted teeth as our rhythm increased and our bodies quaked from our intense mutual pleasure.
He started to yell and scream with each of my deep, punishing thrusts. I could feel his climax building as he lost control while riding atop me.
His hands squeezed my shoulders and my upper back. His imminent release and his screeching, clenching body wrapped around me sent me spiraling.
I pumped into him harder still, sounding like a wild male animal rutting in heat. A guttural cry ripped from my throat as I felt him burst. I could feel his body pulsing between our sweat slicked torsos. Our sounds of passion continued to build.
I pulled him viciously onto my throbbing cock as my body tightened and then my orgasm exploded within him. His body clamped down on my erupting shaft, gripping me, milking me until my body emptied of all my seed.
The room felt sweltering as our panting, spent bodies filled it with the sounds of our ragged breaths and groans of satisfaction in the aftermath. I could feel his body relax and loosen around my still throbbing erection that was buried inside him.
His soft, limp body melted into mine and I held him close, tenderly. I was going to cherish this man for all long as he would have me. I hoped it would be forever. We lay like that for a long time, savoring our physical and emotional connection. Our souls spoke volumes to each other as we held on to one another.
Our sweat and cum started to dry and cool and I felt his legs tremble. I craved taking care of him as much as I craved mating with him. “Let me clean us both up, my love.”
He smiled lazily and let me settle him back in the pillows. I washed his body with the water in the ewer and basin on the nightstand. He watched me with hooded eyes as I caressed him with all the love I felt for him.
I cleaned myself and rejoined him. I pulled the blankets over both of us as I crawled into the bed. He rolled closer to me as I reached for him. He lay his head on my chest and I could feel his warm breath ruffle the black hair between my pecs. He snuggled down into my arms and I felt my eyes get misty.
“Never leave me, Will.” It was the command that would change my life forever. He said it so softly, but it burned across my every nerve. My tears began to fall.
“I won’t, Henry, never again.” I choked it out through my tears. I kissed the top of his head and pulled him even closer to my heart. Hours or minutes later, I have no idea how long it was, we fell asleep together.
I slept better than I ever remembered. I didn’t worry what tomorrow would bring. For once in my life, I trusted that tomorrow would be even better than today. Every tomorrow would be spent with Henry and that was all I ever wanted.
January 1759
The rest of autumn and the holiday season was filled with happiness like I had never known. I started every day with Henry in my arms and I ended each day the same way.
We grew as friends and lovers and he was my whole world. He never failed to show me that he thought the same of me. Our chores and duties seemed easy and uncomplicated as we worked side by side.
James and Ann knew we were lovers, we didn’t hide it, and they accepted it because they loved Henry and wanted to see him live and love with the same joy they had found together.
At Christmas, James asked Ann to marry him. Neither had ever married and neither had ever expected to find true love. But against the odds, they had been brought together by Henry and the three of them were the loving family mine never had been.
My family loved me, but we weren’t affectionate to each other. We didn’t smile at one another like these three did. It was beautiful to watch and be near.
Very quickly, all three of them started to treat me exactly the same. They smiled at me, and loved me openly. Ann would hug me and she felt like my mother had when I was a child. James treated me and Henry as equals in all things, which made Henry as happy as it made me.
When the affection overwhelmed me, Henry would hold me close and let me cry and work through it when we were alone. He understood me so easily. And I understood and appreciated him.
The tenant farmers that leased the land, were usually cooperative and grateful, but occasionally Henry would but heads with them when he had a radical, new idea. He always got his way, but he would return home angry and frustrated until the farmers relented.
I knew how to make him feel better. He would take that anger out on me. He would order me to pleasure him and I loved every second. He was never truly abusive, he wasn’t that kind of man. But he could bend me to his will in the bedchamber.
We made tender love with each other as often as we had frantic, wild sessions of dominance and submission. We easily gave each other what we needed and our deep abiding love grew and grew.
The winter winds whistled around the corners of the chapel at Alnwick as Henry walked Ann to the altar to marry James. All four of us fought back the tears. A handful of friends and tenants were in attendance to celebrate and witness their union.
After Henry delivered Ann to James, he came and found me where I stood silently in the darkened alcove behind the altar. No one could see us, but we could hear the ceremony.
I took Henry’s hands in mine and I repeated the vows the priest was feeding to the older couple, to him. I changed the words to my own to fit us as I spoke quietly, for his ears only.
“Henry Errington, I vow to love, cherish and obey you forever. I will be a faithful partner and lover to you for as long as I live.” He blinked away his tears and gripped my hands tighter.
“William Medford, I vow to love, cherish and command you forever. I will be a faithful partner and lover to you for as long as I live.” He smiled a wicked smile at me, already thinking about how he’d command me that very night. The night that would be our wedding night as well as James and Ann’s.
We stared into each other’s eyes as the priest unknowingly blessed our holy union. And when he pronounced them husband and wife, we became husband and husband.
I pulled the love of my life to me and kissed him with all the reverence and passion he deserved. He kissed me back and I could feel his commitment.
For the second time in my life, I was married. For the first time in my life, I was madly in love and happily married to my best friend. My life long companion. My everything.
Our union wasn’t legal and couldn’t be recorded at the chapel, but we were as married as James and Ann were. Our bond and faithfulness was enough for us.
James had purchased a house in town and had moved in just two weeks before the wedding. Ann would make it a home, filled with love. We ate a wedding luncheon with the happy couple there and then we made our excuses. We needed to get home, ahead of the storm.
And we needed to release the storm that was building between us since the moment we spoke our vows. I needed my husband to conquer and claim me.
After we shed our coats and boots, we found our way to our room, kissing and pulling at each other’s clothing the whole time. We laughed as we stumbled through the house, trying to keep our lips connected.
I never imagined that real love would be fun. But being in love with Henry was more than fun. It was pleasurable in every way. He made my heart and body and mind soar with the power of his love for me. I didn’t know love like this existed in the world. I had never witnessed it before.
It had been easy from the first. It took no effort to learn him and his ways, to understand his life. He accepted me completely without judging the complicated, painful path I had taken to find him.
He had been with one other man. A boy, really, the same age as he at the time. Meer teenagers using each other’s bodies with no emotions involved.
I had been with countless men, in many different degrading ways. I had fathered a child with a wife. I had hidden and been ashamed of my desires for nearly thirty years. I had contemplated ending my life. And he accepted me and loved me just like that.
He was what I searched for. He was the thing that made me feel content and complete. His love cancelled my restlessness. I never wanted to leave Sandhurst. My days of wandering and seeking without ever finding, were completely behind me.
Finally, breathlessly, I scooped my husband up and flung him onto the bed. He squealed and laughed in delight. He loved my superior size and strength. He told me often, how handsome he found me and he touched and consumed my body like I was his treasure.
I crawled over him and pinned his hands in place over his head. I kissed his lips. I brushed my nude body over his nakedness. He opened his mouth to gasp at the pleasure it gave us both. I met his open mouth with my own and kissed him deeper.
I released his hands as I kissed down his neck and chest. His light sprinkling of golden brown hair across his smooth body was so enticing. I followed the trail down to his stomach. I kissed his hips and then followed the soft hair to where it led me.
I licked his shaft from the lightly furred base to the glistening tip. I heard him groan. I pulled his large swollen cock into my mouth and sucked hard. He moaned loudly and I smiled with my mouth full of him.
I took my mouth off his shaft and sucked his sack inside instead. I licked and sucked him lightly. I lifted his legs and pushed them up to expose his pink pucker to me. I bent closer and licked it, getting it wet.
I heard his sexy noises as I tended to his tight hole. I used my tongue and my fingers until he was trying to rub his entrance against my warm, wet mouth. His body begged for more.
I slid two fingers deeply inside and I heard him whisper. “Please.”
I kissed my way back up to his face and took his lips with mine. I lay between his spread legs with his arms around my neck and our mouths fused. I pushed my body forward and entered him. Our bodies fit together perfectly.
I slowly stroked inside him, while we embraced. I whispered how much I loved him into his mouth and his hair as my body moved over him and within him. He answered with his own soft words of love as he enjoyed my body moving inside his.
Our pace increased and our mutual gratification built as we made love. He was digging his fingers into my back as I ground my body into his as fully as possible. We started to grow more frantic as we crested higher yet.
“Will! I love you! Yes, Will. Ahhhhhhh….yes, my love!” Henry was getting close to his climax as he received my incessant thrusting.
“That’s it, love! Henry!” I was a slave to the pleasure building within me. I needed my release and I needed this man to bring me there.
I yelled, “Yeeeeessssss!” Screaming it to the rafters as my threshold snapped. My body jerked against him as my seed flooded out into him.
Henry pushed his body against mine as he screamed out his own release. I could feel his twitching erection as it sprayed his fluid between our bodies.
We both pushed and ground into each other as we drained ourselves with abandon. I sunk down onto him and kissed him tenderly through my harsh breaths. He lazily rested his arms around my neck.
“I love you, husband.” He whispered it into my hair as we lay in each other’s arms. I kissed his neck and nipped at his soft skin.
“I love you, my beautiful husband.” I pulled back slightly and smiled down at him. “I searched for you every single day of my life. I’m the luckiest and happiest man in the world since I found you.”
“Thank you Will, for following me to my room in that inn, nearly a year ago. I fell in love with you that night, you know?”
“I fell in love with you that night, too. And I’m going to love you until the end of time.”
“You should start now. Turn around and bend over. I’m going to use your tight hole. Do it now!” He ordered me sternly. My body jolted with pleasure.
I had never expected to find a companion that I could love. And I never imagined I would make tender love with my husband one minute and then be ordered to my knees the next, to be commanded and used by my dominant man. He was perfect.
I quickly turned around and got on my hands and knees in front of him. He ran his hands along my cheeks. His right hand came down with a stinging slap that made me wince and huff out a breath.
He slapped my ass again, harder. I whimpered from the glorious contact. Slap! He hit me again. My ass cheek stung and my erection hardened in reaction to the pain and pleasure.
He brought his hand down again. The slap rang through the room and I gasped at the shot of lightning that lit my whole body. I felt him lightly caress the burning area. Crack! It was the hardest slap yet. I moaned loudly and buried my face in the blankets.
I felt his lips kiss the stinging flesh. He gently blew cool air across my hot skin. I felt his hand reach between my legs and he gently stroked my now completely rigid shaft.
His light touch on my cock and his soft kisses and cool air had me begging for more. He delivered more, almost immediately. His hand gripped my erection, squeezing tightly as he bit down on my abused skin.
I howled with the pain and pleasure. He pulled my shaft, pumping it hard as his other hand came down on my burning cheek again. He slapped my ass again and again. The fire was raging on my bottom as he struck me repeatedly.
He pushed me harder and higher. My body was throbbing and I wanted him to use me as hard as he wanted. He released my shaft and used those fingers to probe my hole.
He’d push a finger in and then he’d slap my red cheek again. The burning and stinging combined with the pleasure he was creating inside my hole, nearly drove me wild. I wanted to beg, but he hadn’t told me to.
He rubbed his fingers along the inside of my hole, pushing against the perfect spot, making my cock leak and twitch. I pushed my legs wider to take even more of his fingers, out whatever else he wanted to put inside me.
He rubbed my most sensitive spot with a firmer touch and I could feel my legs shaking from his exquisite touch. I was lost in the waves of pleasure emanating from my hole.
He brought his palm down onto my ass again and I screamed at the contact. He slapped me again and again and again. I screamed into the quilt. And he didn’t relent. His hand contacted my flaming cheek harder and harder all while pressing his fingers into my ass with blinding pressure.
I collapsed, unable to hold myself up under his abuse and his perfectly erotic touches. He leaned down and gently asked me if I surrendered. I said no, never. I felt his lips brush my ear.
“I love you. Remember you can make me stop, my love.” He said it quietly and calmly. As we explored our limits we had decided on a signal that would stop everything if we became uncomfortable or overwhelmed at any time.
I turned my head to look at my lover. My eyes were glassy with the painful pleasure he’d been giving me. I smiled at him. “I know. I love you.”
He loved pushing me to my edge. It pleased him to watch me reach new heights of satisfaction. It pleased me when he pushed me harder and harder because he enjoyed it so much. We both loved it, clearly.
He leaned back to his place behind me. “Get back up. I’m not done with this arse.” He commanded. I gathered my trembling arms and legs underneath me and I resumed the position.
SLAP! SLAP! He struck me so hard my vision went black for a moment. I moaned and swore loudly. I heard him chuckle. Then he forced his two fingers back inside me, hard and he pressed down forcefully making my legs turn to jelly.
“Yes, love. Oh God.” I couldn’t help but call out as I pushed myself open further and I pressed back trying to get more pressure from his fingers.
“You need my hard cock, don’t you?” He asked me, in his commanding tone.
“Yes, I need it.” I begged.
“Do you want it hard and deep, Will?” He was stroking my insides with his fingers as he asked.
“God, yes! Please, love!” I begged. He had primed my body perfectly, as usual, and I was needy and desperate for him.
I felt his fingers leave my hole empty. I was sad and excited. I wanted him to fuck me. I felt him run his fingers along my crack, using his spit to moisten my entrance.
I felt him move in close behind me. I pushed back, giving him full access to my entrance. I wanted him inside me. Instead he brought his hand down and slapped me again. It made me moan. I was nearly out of my mind with want and desire.
I felt his hand connect to my cheek again. It stung and I yelped. As that cry passed between my lips, his cock passed between cheeks and he entered me swiftly. It burned in contrast to my burning cheek.
“Yes, Will. You feel perfect. I love being inside you. Do you want me to use your hole, my love?”
“Yes, Henry, please use me. My love, my husband, I need you!”
Calling him husband broke his final restraint and he started to pump his massive manhood inside me, just how I needed him to. He hips contacted my backside, making loud slapping noises with every thrust.
His body colliding with mine caused my red, swollen cheek to burn anew. It was mind blowing. I couldn’t ever get enough of the mix of pleasure and pain at the hands of my one true love.
His hips slammed into me harder and harder until he pushed me forward onto the bed. He was smaller than me, but his force was unstoppable when he loved me like this. He followed my body down to the bed, still moving inside me.
“Oh, yes! Will, I love you, I love you!” He shouted it as he strained to reach his second giant climax of our wedding night. I couldn’t form words to answer him. My whole body was on fire from his ministrations.
I moaned and writhed beneath him as he brutally used my hole. He was wild as he chased the wave of pleasure that was starting to overtake us both.
“WILL!” It was all he could scream before his climax broke over him and he pulsed within me. His body tightened behind me and he moaned into my ear as he lay prone on top of me, spilling his seed into my guts.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaa!” It was a loud yell that left my mouth as my body succumbed to his onslaught. I was already flat on my stomach as my body shook and twitched with my forceful release, otherwise I would have collapsed again.
My orgasm felt like heaven and hell raging against one another. The beautiful angel of a man I married could flay me open with his mix of torture and tenderness. I could never want for more.
Henry lay atop me as we caught our breath again. I felt his body shake and I knew he was laughing about something. God only knew what.
“You are insane.” I mumbled it into the bed.
“No, but you do drive me crazy, my love.” He kissed the back of my neck. “I was thinking that we did that rather quickly, back to back, and it struck me as amusing for some reason.”
“Maybe because we usually let each other recover before we go again. But you were insatiable tonight.”
“Oh course I was. Today I married the most handsome, virile man ever to grace the British Isles.” He kissed my cheek.
I needed to kiss him so I rolled from underneath him until I could pull him close and I took his mouth with mine. It was a long and sensual kiss.
Afterwards I washed his body and then my own. We lay together in our bed and talked about our future. I felt closer to him than ever. He was my forever and I was his. He loved me as wildly and deeply as I loved him. We counted ourselves among the luckiest people that ever lived.
If anyone in town suspected we were lovers, they never said as much. Henry grew his wealth and after several years, he had become a very powerful and successful landowner, having more than quadrupled his original inheritance.
He attributed half his success to me and I gratefully accepted his credit. He could have done it on his own, but with me by his side, he had been happy and motivated in a way he never had before, and his success had come swiftly.
My cousin Thomas brought my grandmother to visit us at Sandhurst. Both of them adored Henry. And they both rejoiced at seeing me content and at peace with myself. I doubt they knew what the nature of our relationship was, but I was happy and that made them happy.
Henry and I faced the world together and nothing could hurt us when we were beside one another. We had our share of bad times, but we always survived it and came out stronger.
The one thing that never wavered was our affection and love for one another. Regardless of any bumps in the road, we stayed strong and united. We never tired of having the other next to us.
Our desire always burned brightly as well. I never stopped desiring him and craving his orders. He loved me tenderly and brutally in perfect measure. It was always incredible and satisfying and our bond deepened every time we shared our love and our bodies.
Five years passed and then ten and then more. It’s been twenty years since I found Henry by that bonfire. He still looks like an angel to me. His body is still perfect, his skin just as smooth.
He still knows how to command me and love me at the same time. He still looks at me like he thinks I’m the most handsome man he’s ever seen. My body still reacts to his every glance.
Elsewhere in the world, King George rages against the rebellion in the colonies and we stay safely in the northern borderlands. Depending on the outcome of what the colonists are calling The Revolution, we may travel over the seas to view the colonies, or states, ourselves. Time will tell.
Until then, I’ll obey my husband’s every command and I’ll willingly give and take all the pleasure we can share with one another. Henry and I built our legacy and together we found our destiny.