Sour Notes
A prequel to the Songstress and DUO series. The musical love story of Beth and Joel
This prequel is fairly short, contains no sex and pertains to certain dialogue in ‘Songstress’ and ‘DUO Parts 1 & 2’, between Beth and Joel. If you’ve read these stories, first of all, thank you so much! If not, I suggest you back and read these first under my stories. This installment should clarify some talk of Beth ghosting Joel before becoming close friends, and then deeply devoted lovers.
A huge thanks to tool1952 for his fabulous editing as always. I highly recommend him if you’re looking for a good editor.
JOEL —
My cell phone pinged indicating a new message coming in. I was busy working on a new song about recovering after a heartbreak. Music had always been my outlet to express my feelings, happy or sad. Normally, I could find a song to cover and pour my heart into it. This time, I couldn’t find one that matched my feelings, so I decided to write my own. However, I was struggling.
How do you write about being ghosted by someone you cared deeply about? How can you reconcile or rationalize feelings when you don’t know what you did wrong? How can you bring closure to something that remains open, like a wound that just won’t heal?
I was writing a standard ABABCAB structure but was struggling with the bridge and last verse. Throwing my pen down in frustration, I decided to check my messages. There were a couple from my Facebook friends and one from my sister. Glancing downward, I saw the fourth message and froze.
It was from H.t. South. She was the one who’d ghosted me. It had been six months, six fucking months; six long, agonizing, tormenting months!
Her real name was Beth. We met online through Facebook when we both joined a couple of the same music groups. I was enthralled by her voice, and later by her stunning good looks. Still later, as I got to know her a bit better, she seemed to be a very gracious and kind person as well.
I was lonely. My wife had passed a couple of years before. I hadn’t really had the opportunity to meet anyone due to Covid. Meeting Beth, if only online, made my days brighter. We had a common love for music and a mutual respect for each other’s singing.
One day, I realized that I had fallen in love with her. I knew from the get-go, however, it was a pipe dream; to think that she could have any romantic inclinations at all towards me. I had to be a good thirty years older than her. What the fuck was I doing falling in love with someone so much younger? And to top it all off, she lived in Charlotte, North Carolina – in the United States, a thousand miles away from where I lived near Toronto, Ontario – in Canada.
I would have been content to just be her friend, to have any part of her I could. We were starting to collaborate on a couple of duets, and I was excited by this prospect. I was very careful not to let my feelings be known.
Then one day she just went SILENT! She wouldn’t return my messages. I asked her what I’d done wrong, or if I’d offended her, but no response. Then she blocked me on all her social media accounts. She had very effectively ghosted me.
Never having had this happen to me before, I read up on all I could about ghosting. It’s her problem, the articles read. You probably did nothing wrong, they said. She’s emotionally immature, they all seemed conclude.
Still, it tortured me. Let it go, my friends advised me, she’s just not worth it. So, I tried; I tried to let her go. I meditated, I prayed, I threw myself into other things just to keep her off my mind. Nothing worked. Every day my thoughts would turn to her. Every night I dreamt of her. No woman, including my late wife, had ever had this impact on me.
Finally, after all these months, I was starting to feel a little less obsessed. I was believing I could maybe, possibly, hopefully, put her behind me. She had erased my existence from her life with a few cruel keystrokes. It was high time I did the same, I had to move on.
And now this. What the fuck could she possibly want? What now, after all this time? Why now? With great trepidation I opened her message.
H.t. South: Hello Joel
Yup, sounds like her, always uses her words sparingly. Never uses two words where one would suffice.
Joel Young: Hello, Beth?
I decided to play it carefully. She answered almost immediately. She must have been waiting for my response.
H.t. South: yes it’s Beth, no joke. Do you have a few minutes?
Joel Young: After all these months, I guess I can spare a few. To what do I owe this communication?
H.t. South: I want to apologize.
Joel Young: for?
H.t. South: for what I did. For ghosting you, for blocking you without explanation.
Joel Young: I have to admit I never thought I’d ever hear from you again. And truthfully, what you did to me was very hurtful, even if we were casual acquaintances. However, apology accepted if you would answer a couple of questions. Why did you ghost me and block me? What did I do? Why come back now and apologize after all this time?
H.t. South: I get scared when people get too close. I thought that’s what was happening with you. I tend to run rather than face the situation. As for why I’m coming back to apologize, I’ve been getting help, and I’m learning to face my problems and not run from them.
That was the longest message I’d ever seen from her. Maybe she was trying to change, but I still wasn’t going to let her off that easily.
Joel Young: All I did was continuously support and encourage you. I gave you advice based on my musical experience. I tried to help you, and for that, I was ghosted. So, now that makes me a problem?
H.t. South: No! You really didn’t do anything wrong. You were always polite, kind, and supportive. I heard you even promoted my YouTube channel after I ghosted you. I think maybe you were just a bit overly enthusiastic, but it was me who took it the wrong way. For that, I’m so truly sorry.
And there it was. My resolve to get over her crumbled like a sandcastle in a rapidly rising tide on the beach.
Joel Young: OK, apology accepted, and if I’m allowed back in your life, I will back right off on the enthusiasm. Strictly music, nothing personal.
H.t. South: Well, you don’t have to go to quite that extent. I think I’m better able to handle it now. And thank you, you didn’t have to accept it after I was cruel to you.
Joel Young: I’m not the kind to hold grudges. It’s a waste of emotional energy. Everyone is dealing with something difficult in their lives, and I guess you were no exception. So…friends again?
H.t. South: Friends again. I’ve already unblocked you and sent a friend request.
Joel Young: Thank you. So where do we go from here?
H.t. South: Well, we were working on those duets. Want to continue?
Joel Young: Absolutely! I’ve worked out the bugs in the harmonies. Would you like to hear?
H.t. South: I’d like that very much.
Joel Young: K, sending you the files now.
H.t. South: Thanks, and Joel? I’m glad we’re going to be working together again. I must confess, I did miss you.
Joel Young: yeah, me too Beth, on both counts.
Neither of us could have guessed the journey we were about to embark upon…
Overture fine.