The German Carriage Ride

Brian and Karen, after arriving from the airport in the early evening and checking in at their well-appointed hotel, have crossed to street to take a walk in the park which covers the highest points in the city. Here they strike up a conversation with Peter, an impressive Prussian gentleman who is also walking in the park.

After some introductory chatting, Peter decides to take the discussion in a new direction.

“Well I must say I’m very glad to have met the both of you. Brian and Karen Jaeger. You are a most interesting couple. And Karen, I must say your dress is beautiful. So… um… arresting to the eye. So Brian, I think you two are just the sort of couple that would enjoy coming with me to a party at my club later. It’s a rather special club. Many handsome men, and beautiful women, but they are also very interesting and intelligent people. Very much like your wife. And you too Brian, of course.”

Karen smiles and says, “Well, thank you Peter. And I have no doubt you are just the sort of man to fit in well at such a club.”

“Well, thank you Karen. And they are always happy to meet new people like you. We have not had many guests from the United States… we must be careful… but those who have attended one of our parties have been warmly welcomed, and I must say that they too seemed to enjoy that welcome immensely.”

“Brian, did you know that Jaeger is Hunter in German? Brian the Hunter. So I’m sure that you will enjoy the club. As will, no doubt, your wife. But first, would you please grant me the privilege of introducing you to an old German welcoming tradition of a carriage ride around our park at night. The views of the city are spectacular.”

“I regret that there are only the two separated seats in these carriages, so Brian, you will have to sit up front with the driver. But the views of the city from up there are also special. Although these carriages are designed with a very high window behind the driver, so he can’t really see the passengers. Even though our seats will be quite separate… But you can hear us can’t you Brian?”

“Yes, I can hear you.”

“And the view up there is also good?”

“Yes, Peter. Although the view is somewhat limited behind me, as you pointed out, what I can see is still beautiful.”

After a few minutes, Peter calls out, “We have nearly reached the top of the park. And from here I wanted to point out a particular construction of solid Germanic heritage. Tall enough, but not too tall, and quite solidly built around the base. Very solid construction. I’m afraid you can’t really see it from up there Brian, but I think now Karen has a view of it.”

Brian calls out. “Can you see it Karen?”

She responds, “Well yes. Yes, I guess I can.”

“And would you say it was impressive?”

“Well, yes. I would say it’s impressive, yes. Very broad-based and solid.”

“What is the structure used for?”

Peter interjects, “I guess you could say it’s become a multi-purpose structure. And Karen, it may have now become a little harder to see. But I believe if you hold your head just over here, like this, you can still see it.”

Karen agrees, “Well… you’re right. I can see it very clearly from here. In fact, it suddenly seems quite close.”

Peter directs Brian’s attention to the broad views again. “And the view of the city from here is really special. Wouldn’t you agree Brian?”

“Yes. Yes. It’s a magnificent view. Don’t you agree Karen? Karen? But yes Peter, I can see why this is a tradition in your city… ”

“mmmghgh”

Brian looks a little concerned. “Karen? What did you say? I couldn’t quite hear what you were saying? Karen…?”

Karen now says. “Oh… um… Sorry… No, Brian. I wasn’t saying anything.”

“Oh. Well can you still see the structure Peter was telling us about? If you hold your head right?”

“Yes. Yes I can. But it’s strange that now it seems even larger. Perhaps even more impressive.”

“Well that must be a rewarding experience for you. A vivid memory of the city.”

Peter now says, “Karen, the view of the city is really quite beautiful behind us now. Perhaps you should sit facing backwards. Here, sit around like this. Is that a good view for you?”

“Well, it’s… ahh… ahh… yes… ahhh.. Yes, this view is very different.”

“And Brian, can you see the city behind us too? Isn’t it beautiful?”

Brian responds thoughtfully. “Yes. I can. It is beautiful. And now I can also just see the top of Karen’s head… also facing backwards. But sitting where I thought you had been sitting. Karen, you must be enjoying the view too.”

“Yes, I… ahh… yes, I guess I am. I would say that from this position the view is… ahh… ahh… a very impressive experience.”

“And can you still see that German Heritage structure that Peter seemed so proud of?”

Peter interjects, “Actually Brian, I’m afraid that is no longer visible.”

Karen tries to reassure her husband. “Well, I’m sure I still know where it is.”

Peter smiles. “Yes, some say that once you have seen it, the structure has a very strong… how do you say it… ‘aura’.”

“That’s interesting. Karen, would you say can you still feel it’s presence?”

Karen: Yes, I can… I certainly can. And I think I could probably find it again during our stay if you wanted me to. But there are so many things to see in the city that would probably interest you more. I think we should move on. But if you decide that you really want to see the views that I saw… well… I don’t know how often Peter points out that structure to tourists, but he would probably be happy to arrange it again. If he could point it out to me again too.”

Brian hesitates, then says, “Oh… Really…”

Now Peter decides that they should take a different path home. “Driver, would you please drive us back by way of Noch Einmal Lane. I know there are a few… how do you Americans say… ‘speed bumps’, and it’s a little longer. But still, the trees are really dark and lovely.”

“Yes sir,” the driver responds.

Peter seems quite happy as he continues to fill the air with grand descriptions. “So, isn’t this a beautiful path back to the city?”

Brian responds. “Yes it is Peter. It is lovely. But I’m getting the strong feeling that perhaps sitting in the back is providing the two of you a much richer experience than just sitting up here with the driver is providing me. No offense to the driver. This is a fine seat, and thank you for letting me sit up here with you. But I would wager that you would agree with me. You also understand that they are having a much richer experience back there than either of us is experiencing up here.”

The driver again says, “Yes sir.”

“So Peter, I must tell you that I am growing more eager to meet the people you have described at your club.”

Peter is sympathetic. “Yes, Brian. I apologize. I can understand your impatience. We will be going there soon. It just seemed that a carriage ride like this might be such a wonderful opportunity. For seeing all the beauty around us.”

“Yes, yes. And I can understand how you might have felt that way. So are there any people in particular that you expect to see there tonight?”

“I can think of at least three women that I’m sure you would enjoy meeting. And I expect you will get the chance to meet at least one of them, or perhaps two, or even perhaps all three of them, and that you will enjoy them as much as I have enjoyed the pleasure of your lovely wife on this carriage ride. Although this has been a most special carriage ride.”

The carriage then encounters the first of the speed bumps, the front and rear wheels sending upward jolts in quick succession through the seated passengers. Brian sees the top of Karen’s head bounce up twice.

“AAH! AAH!”

Brian says, “Karen, are you alright?”

“Yes. Yes, dear. I’m fine. I guess I was just… surprised by those bumps.”

But Peter can’t contain his enthusiasm. “My goodness! Brian… I hope you won’t mind my saying so, but bumps like that can make the cut of your wife’s dress even more… dramatic. From where I’m sitting, it’s clear that you are a most fortunate man.”

Brian responds, but less enthusiastically. “Well I appreciate that… Yes I am a fortunate man… But it’s become clear to me exactly where you must be sitting to get those insights, and that you too are a most fortunate man.”

Bump… “AAH!” Bump… “AHH!”

“Karen, are you sure you’re alright?”

“Oh! Oh! Ah… yes… a moment… just give me a moment… those bumps… but yes… I’m alright. Yes. I’m fine. And this has really been a most remarkable ride. But I’m not sure I’ll be going to the club with you. I think by that time I will have had my fill for the evening.”

“Well dear, I can understand how you might feel that way. And so you needn’t wait up for me.”

“No, I won’t, dear. I can understand that too.”

Peter continues his narration of the tour’s high points, although his breathing seems to have gotten somewhat labored. “Well, we’re nearly back. I suppose we should finish up our ride soon and be ready to return to the city. These are the last of the bumps coming up. I think these a little bit larger than the others.”

BUMP! BUMP!

At this, Karen’s responses reach their peak. “OH… OH… Oh God… Oh God… AAAH! AAAAAH! ah.. ah…. ahhh…”

Brian is silent.

After Peter catches his breath, he continues, “Yes, I think that was really the loveliest part of the ride. And then this last part is so peaceful, but also really quite nice. But Karen, perhaps you’d rather sit facing forward again now. Before we get back into town.”

Karen agrees, thoughtfully. “Umm… yes, I would. I would. I think that must be the longest I’ve ever spent looking back at where I’ve been… but still constantly reminded of where I was coming, too.”

Peter announces, “Well, we’re back now. Brian, we’re back now.”

“Yes Peter, I’m well aware of that.”

Karen has now caught her breath and says, “Peter, if you could just drop me by our hotel now, and then you can take Brian to your club. And I trust that you will provide him with as rewarding an evening as you have provided me. I felt sorry that, up in the front seat alone, he could not feel the level of experience I have felt, but I expect things will be different for him at your club. So good night. Please take good care of my husband. And thank you for a most memorable ride in the park.”