It wasn’t even an hour into the game before the half-orc was cumming from the skilled tongue of the bard. But that is what happens when you roll a natural 20 and the bard offers a spell to revive a fellow adventurer.
The Dungeon Master, or DM, watched and waited. “As you come to, you are back to full health,” the DM said wryly and rolled a six-sided die. “But you may feel a little tired for the next 3 turns so your speed will have a -1.”
“Fair enough,” mumbled the Half-Orc Paladin. His arms outstretched above his head into handcuffs the DM had attached to the wall. “I’m still stuck here until our thief can roll something that can pick this lock.”
“This is ridiculous. I can’t believe I rolled 1’s twice in row. This sucks,” laughed the Rogue as he rolls his 20-sided die a third time. “16! Success!” He stands to unlock the handcuffs binding the Paladin and the half-orc rubs his wrists before tugging on his half-swollen cock. Both men are in states of undress as is Jessica, the Bard. This was not their first time playing Kinky D&D.
“Do I have any of my weapons,” the naked Paladin asks the DM. Dave loves playing a half-orc Paladin yet keeps looking over his character sheet to confirm what he should have.
“Not since you fell into the Kobolds trap and were separated from your group,” says the DM. “Everything you were wearing and your weapons are still in the room the Kobolds tortured you in before locking you in this cell.”
“Well let’s go find his gear before the guards come back,” the Bard adds with excitement.
“You step out into the hallway and there are two other doors on your left and one on your right.”
“I use my expert perception to figure out which room has his gear in,” says the Rogue. Chris is the newcomer to tonight’s game playing as the party’s Rogue thief and so far still in his T-shirt and underwear.
“Roll better than a 14,” chimes in the DM.
“Agh, 12,” laments the Rogue.
“Oh well,” says the DM. “Pick a door any door. But be aware that footsteps down the hall seems to be getting closer again.”
“I pick the door on the right,” said the Rogue and the DM rolled a ten-sided die.
“You swing open the door and four Kobolds are caught off guard as they are placing food onto a giant wooden platform suspended from the ceiling by chains,” the DM exclaims.
“Roll for initiative!”
“11,” says the Rogue.
“17,” says the Paladin.
“19,” says the Bard quickly rolling again for an attack. “I let loose an arrow at the guy closest to me. 17!”
“He’s dead,” the DM says nonchalantly. “Paladin, what’s your move?”
“I’m going to rush the next closest guy. Is there anything handy I can use as a weapon?”
“Perception check.”
” 14; I’m good.”
“You seize a bone that is on the floor as you charge at the nearest Kobold. And Roll for your attack.”
“Woohoo! 18!”
“And you successfully stabbed the Kobold in the eye and jammed the bone deep into its eye socket. The screams from the Kobold flailing on the floor freak out the other two and they run past you out the door.”
“So what is this room?” Asks the Rogue.
“Roll for perception,” reply’s the DM.
“15.”
“You are in a room that looks something like a cross between a kitchen prep area and a morgue.”
“This is where they prepare the dragon his meals, right?”
“Correct,” says the DM.
“Do I see any other doorways in this room,” the Rogue inquires.
“There is a opening above the platform,” says the DM. “And a stairwell to the back of the room leading up. Aaaaand you hear more footsteps coming.”
In unison the group shouts, “Up the stairs!”
“You all race up the stairs to find your self in a large vaulted chamber. To your left is the pit that leads to the kitchen. It’s dimly lit and you can hear noises below from the kitchen but no one is coming up.”
“Do I know this place?” Asked the Bard.
“Roll perception.”
“12. I’m good.”
“You believe you are in the dragons lair. And the faint growling sounds around you confirm your suspicion.”
“Do I see the treasure box he is guarding?” Asked the Rogue. “18 perception.”
“You see the box just fine. Now it is up to the Bard to sing her lullaby and for the Rogue to assist.” The DM motions a gesture to the Rogue to move to the floor. “The Bard must sing her lullaby that will lull the dragon and the only way to hit the right notes is that she needs to climax. The Bard will ride the Rogues face until the Dragon is satisfied.”
Chris, the rogue, lays down the floor and beams a sheepish smile as Jessica, the bard, slides off her panties with a gleeful chuckle.
“I’ll find you a song to sing… and ‘dance’ to.”The DM picked up the remote to shuffle the music and landed on a Prince mix. Darling Nikki started playing and Jessica laughed with delight.
“Perfect song,” she squealed and started to sing along as positioned above the rogues face. “I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.”
She wiggled and swayed slowly lowering herself down. The bard shifted from a squat to all fours before firmly touching down with the rogues nose pushed up to her clit.
“…And Nikki started to grind,” the bard continued to sing and grind she did. The rogues tongue lapped with abandon and held onto the bards thighs. The bard held purchase of the rogues hair and treated his nose like a lit cigarette being snuffed out.
The bards voice missed parts of the lyrics but focused on the rhythm. Breathing quickening.
The bard arched her back and planted her hands onto the rogues thighs. Hips quivering as the rogue held onto the bards thighs tighter and lifting his head to continue licking her glistening pussy.
As the song ended, the DM lowered the volume and the bard slowly readjusted to lay down on the floor next to the bard. The rogues face slick with the bards juices.
“Now that was music to my ears,” said the Paladin who watched with a big smile. The group bursts into guffawed laughter.
“That was so bad,” said the bard. “Does he lose XP for making bad puns?”
“Well with the moment of quiet, you hear a snoring dragon and know that your spell worked.”
“Can I retrieve the treasure box now?” The rogue asks sitting up.
The DM slides a box to the end of the table. Wrapped in leftover Christmas paper it looked almost comical. The rogue started unwrapping it as the Paladin and bard gathered around.
“Do you know what it is,” the bard asked the Paladin who shrugged.
With the last of the ridiculous wrapping torn away and the tape severed, the rogue opened the box to reveal a glass dildo.
“Congratulations,” exclaimed the DM. “The Crystal Wand of Khalifa. When being used, the user gains +2 on any spell cast. And now it is yours.”
The group let out a whoop of joy and chuckled.
“And this, my merry adventurers, is where we will pause our journey until next week.”