The crowd was howling with laughter. I stood there, mic in one hand, beer bottle in the other and examined them. I had the biggest of grins on my face. I couldn’t see much with the lights in my eyes and the audience in darkness but their laughter, bending double and slamming tables told me all I needed to know. I had used up all my good material so I decided I would just duck out. Always leave them wanting more, you know?
“My name is David Andies and you guys have been a wonderful fucking audience!” I shouted into the mic as I reset it in the stand. I stepped off stage and the crowd burst in to applause and whistling.
Mandy, the MC, was standing just off stage. She looked at me, her mouth wide open.
“Honestly dude, I did not expect you to be so fucking funny!” she said. She was just staring at me, not blinking.
I hadn’t been to many open mic nights but none of them had gone like this. I could feel the adrenaline just fucking pumping through me. My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest. I needed a piss, badly.
“Don’t you go on to introduce the next act?” I asked, trying desperately to hold in my piss and not check Mandy out at the same time. She was my age, mid 30s, and had a great figure. Huge ass, lovely big boobs and curly black shoulder length hair. She was a good bit shorter than my 6 foot 2 so I had a lovely view of her cleavage. The things I’d do to her! The beer was definitely having an affect on me.
“Nah, dude. I don’t think anyone can follow that for a while. I’ll just say there’s an intermission,” she winked at me before bouncing back out on to the stage.
As I headed for the toilet I heard Mandy praise the shit out of me and announce a 30 minute hiatus on the comedy for people to get drinks, go for a smoke or whatever. She was letting some of the energy out of the room to give the next guy a bit of a chance.
Standing at the urinal with my cock out a bunch of college aged guys came in. They looked like Frat boys with their hats turned backwards. They recognized me and started hanging around me, telling me how funny I was, what a good set it was etc. I didn’t want to seem impolite but I did have my cock out and was trying to piss.
“Hey guys, thanks for the compliments but how about I buy you some beers when we’re all back at the bar? I am trying to take a leak here!” I suggested. They took the hint and agreed. Though not before one of the guys looked down to see my dick.
“Holy shit dude, what do you feed that thing?!” That made them all look. Now, instead of my comedy, they were fascinated by my cock. I’ve zero issues with how anyone wants to live their life or wherever they wanna stick their whatever but I’m straight. I love big tits and big asses and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Plus, my cock has gotten this reaction before, though usually from women.
“Thanks guys, I grew it myself,” I said stuffing it back in my pants and trying to laugh the attention off. “See you back at the bar, yeah?” I pushed past them to wash my hands and leave.
“Hey buddy, do you want a bump?” One of the frat boys offered as I was leaving.
“Not tonight, thanks! Maybe next time!”
Back at the bar, I was ordering another beer when Mandy tapped me on the shoulder. I looked around but she was looking past me. She nodded at the bartender and two beers appeared in front of us. I tried to pay but Mandy said they were on her. I offered my bottle for a clink.
“Cheers,” I said. She reciprocated and took a swig. She never broke eye contact. Badass.
I looked around the joint, it was small but kinda classy. Ok, less classy and more dingy, but not entirely dingy! The walls were black with red waves painted on them and the ubiquitous photos of famous stand-ups who had passed through these hallowed gallows. The beer, my desire for Mandy and my heart-rate was inhibiting my game.
“So, you been doing this long?” I asked, desperate to continue the conversation.
“Yeah, a few years now. It pays the bills and it’s the kind of hours I like to work. Plus, I dig funny guys.” she smirked. I nearly choked on my beer.
“Do you now?” I replied, trying to act cool.
“Yeah, and we’re close to the college so business is usually pretty good.” I nodded along. “So have YOU been doing this long?” She waved her hand in the general direction of the stage.
“Comedy? Oh, this is my fourth open night. First one here and none of the others went as well as this one. Maybe cos you weren’t there?” She smiled slyly. I was 100% sure she could see straight through my bullshit. But hopefully she felt the same.
Mandy ordered more drinks and while her back was turned the Frat boys from the restroom showed up. They were still slapping my back and calling me dude. They looked high and drunk. I doubt if they’d remember any of my set the next night. I felt a million years old compared to these guys. But I honored my promise and ordered them a round of drinks.
From out of nowhere, the Frat boys produced a young woman, barely 21 years old and tiny. Well, not tiny everywhere, maybe a C cup, but slim, big eyed and iron-straight blonde hair. But she was not even close to Mandy’s, which were about DDD. She looked nervous, possibly drunk.
“Hi, are you ok?” I tried to sound encouraging.
“I heard you have a big one”, she said quietly. The frat boys burst out laughing. Her face reddened but she kept looking at me. Then looked at my crotch, then back to me. I raised my eyebrows.
“A big…?” I asked, not believing she was actually talking about that.
“COCK” she practically shouted. The frat boys howled some more. She looked at them then back at me. Usually the women I hooked up with were way closer to my age.
“Ok. And say I do, what then?” I really wanted out of this conversation but didn’t know how to extricate myself. And of course that’s when Mandy joins in, she handed me a full bottle of beer.
“Who are there lovely, young people David?” she was smiling but I could tell she was happy. I tried to play it off as coolly as I could.
“They’re just saying how much they enjoyed the show” I said.
“Yeah,” one of the Frat boys shouted, “the show in the john!”
“You put on a show in the restroom?” Mandy said, raising an eyebrow.
“I was taking a leak and…” I started.
“Man, this guy is hung!” one of the drunker Frat boys shouted. “He’s got a fucking anaconda in his pants!”
“One of the biggest I’ve ever seen,” said another.
“We told Kendra about it and she wanted to see for herself. So come on, dude, whip it out!” the guy who saw it first said.
I looked at Mandy, pleading. I wanted to hook up with her and I had a pretty good feeling that if I showed this group my johnson she’d bail.
“I’m sorry guys, that’s not my thing,” I said trying to turn away. To my surprise Mandy stood still.
“Are you sure?” she said, folding her arms under her huge breasts, making them test the fabric of the top she was wearing. This really threw me for a loop.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind showing you… but not in public! And let’s be honest guys,” I said looking at the Frat boys, “You’ve already had a look.”
“If you can show me, you can show her,” Mandy said, nodding at Kendra.
“Will this affect my chances…?” before I could finish Mandy was pulling me backstage. Kendra came following after, tottering in her high heel shoes.
So there we were, the three of us in the tiny, bare dressing room I had been about thirty minutes before. Mandy seemed kinda pissed and Kendra was still looking high.
“Ok, out with it,” Mandy ordered.
“Y’know, I hoped we’d hook up tonight but didn’t think it’d go like this,” I said, joking. Mandy didn’t look impressed. “In fact, before I do whip it out… did I have a chance?”
“Quit the yakking!” Mandy said, slapping me playfully on the chest.
“Ok, ok!” I said, unbuckling my belt and opening and unzipping my jeans.
I shook them down to my knees so they could get a view of what I/it looked like in my tight white boxer shorts. Kendra squealed but I didn’t really care about her reaction. I looked up at Mandy. She was staring right at my bulging underwear.
She glanced up at me. “And the rest!”
I paused. “Hang on, if I measure up, will you book me in for another night?” Always gotta be hustling, you know!
“We’ll see when we see!” Mandy waggled her finger, telling me to pull down the boxers.
I peeled the underwear off me, down to meet my jeans at the knee. While still bent over, I jerked my flaccid cock a few times, letting it decompress after being squashed in the boxers. I stood up straight, clenched my butt cheeks and pushed my hips slightly forward. I wanted to give a good first impression.
Mandy gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
“Oh my god!” Kendra screamed! “It’s freaking huge!” She stepped forward fell on to her knees right in front of me. She was looking directly at my cock. She took a hold of it in one hand and lifted it. She couldn’t get one hand around the shaft even when it was soft. She looked up at me in shock.
“Wait till it gets hard!” I said.
“It certainly is very big, David!” Mandy looked from Kendra and my cock up to me. “Very impressive!”
Kendra put my cock against her face.
“It’s so soft and smooth and warm,” she said.
“I’m glad you like,” I said, not taking my eyes off Mandy.
“I haven’t tried it yet,” she replied smirking.
“You’re more than welcome to, whenever you want!” I shot back.
“Take off your shirt,” Mandy ordered me. I unbuttoned two buttons and whipped it off over my head.
“Would you do me the same courtesy?” I nodded at Mandy’s impressive chest.
“We’ll see!” her smirk turning to a full blown smile.
I looked down and Kendra had taken off her turquoise top, revealing her C cup boobs were more like small Bs but with padding. That made me want Mandy all the more! Kendra was now stroking my cock with both hands and licking the head. I was starting to get hard.
My cock was lengthening and thickening. Kendra put the head of it in her mouth.
I was trying to keep eye contact with Mandy but the pleasure made me close my eyes in bliss.
Before I knew it, Mandy was standing right beside me. Her huge breasts pressing against my chest. The two of us looking down at the young woman struggling to get my cock into her mouth. One hand on my shoulder, the other holding my chin Mandy kissed me deeply, fiercely. I kissed her back. I pulled her closer to me, one hand squeezing her ass. She moaned into me.
Kendra was still sucking the thick head of my cock, running her hands up and down my shaft. She was struggling with the size but it felt amazing. I was getting harder than I had been in a long time. This was the first time I had been with more than one woman. A cute little slut sucking my cock and a busty woman my own age grinding up on me. I broke the kiss with Mandy but still held her close.
“What are we going to do?” I spoke softly. Mandy reached down to my crotch and took a hold of my balls.
“Well, I think we’re going to have to take care of these! Kendra, lick his balls!” Mandy ordered the younger woman around. And Kendra followed the orders! This could be interesting! She took my cock out of her mouth, having to open wide just to disengage, lifted the shaft up and licked my huge heavy balls. It felt so good.
“Mmmmm, you like that, don’t you, you horse hung stud! Mandy said, pulling my hair.
“Yes!” I squeaked. She licked my neck, sending a jolt down my spine.
“Get undressed,” Mandy said turning her attention to Kendra. “You’re going to take his cock.” I looked at Mandy, shocked. I’m not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t going to get to fuck Mandy.
Kendra let go of my cock, making it fall and pull me forward with a twang. She stood up and took off the rest of her clothes. She was slimmer than she looked in them. I looked over to Mandy with all her curves and wanted to grab her and fuck her hard.
She took out a silver case from her back pocket, opened it and tapped out a line of white powder on my cock.
“Coke?” I asked.
“Well, it ain’t Viagra!” she said as she bent over and sniffed the fat line off my fat cock. She whipped her head back, holding her nostrils closed. Her eyes bulged, she grabbed me and kissed me. I hoped all my open mic nights like this!
“You are going to put that,” she said, pointing at my cock “there!” pointing at the poor Kendra’s tiny pussy. She sniffed again. “If she can survive that thing, I’ll give it a go!”
My cock began tingling and could feel it getting harder. I was also getting a rush. Must’ve been from the coke. I had never done it before so this was all new to me.
“Kendra, you get on the couch, he’s gonna fuck you with that donkey dick of his.” Mandy was totally in control now. Kendra did as she was told and got on the couch. She scooched forward so her ass was hanging off the edge, her puffy pussy lips ready for fucking.
“Kneel in front of her,” Mandy instructed me, her eyes wide. I was in no mood to argue. If I couldn’t fuck Mandy, I was going to fuck the shit out of this little slut.
I kneeled in front of her, the size difference becoming real. I was taller and bigger than Kendra in every way and my cock was gonna find it tough to even get inside.
Mandy sat beside Kendra to get a good view. She pulled her top down and lifted one of her huge breasts out. It looked amazing, so big and soft. She pulled Kendra’s head towards it and Kendra took the hint. She started sucking the little nib of a nipple. Mandy unbuttoned her jeans with one hand and started rubbing herself. She looked at me, so sultry and sexy.
“Fuck her,” she ordered.
What choice did I have! I pushed my rock hard cock forward straight into Kendra’s slit. Of course I was way too wide. I looked at Mandy, pleading.
She took her hand out of her jeans, licked her fingers and reached down. She took the head of my cock in her hand and smeared my pre-cum with the mix of her pussy juice and saliva, making a home made lube. It also felt amazing!
“Now! Fuck! Her!” she barked, going back to rubbing herself. I looked at Kendra, lucky enough to be sucking that huge tit. I was so jealous.
I pushed my cock head into her, her cunt lips stretch around my helmet. Eventually, it popped inside her, making Kendra gasp and lose Mandy’s tit she was sucking. I smirked to myself. Kendra squealed but Mandy pulled her head back to her huge boob.
I ploughed further into Kendra’s tiny cunt, pushing my thick cock further into her, inch by inch. I looked down and saw Kendra’s pubes were shaved into a neat heart shape but all it made me think of was Mandy’s pubes. I hoped they were raven black like the hair on her head. I wanted to lick Mandy’s pussy, I wanted to dive between her legs and eat forever.
My cock was nearly halfway into Kendra’s pussy. The combination of my cock and her tit sucking was getting her nice and wet, making it feel nice and slippery for me. She was moaning and crying but Mandy’s huge tit was smothering the sounds. I reached up and grabbed her B cup out of habit but it barely filled my palm.
I let go of her Kendra’s tit and reach out for Mandy’s. She slapped my hand away.
“Keep fucking her,” she said, delirious in pleasure.
It felt like I couldn’t get any more of my cock into Kendra, my thickness stretching her pussy lips obscenely. She pulled her face away from Mandy’s breast.
“It’s too big, it’s tearing me!” she cried. I kept fucking her and I reached down and rubbed her clit. I probably should have done that from the start because as soon as I did she went fucking wild! Mandy looked at me, surprised.
Kendra pushed my hand away and rubbed her own clit. She was getting crazy wet. I pushed further and further in. Now I was nearly all the way in, only an inch or two not inside her. Mandy pulled her back to suckle on her soft breast and I gave one last thrust in.
All of my cock was in Kendra now. Her hand rubbed her clit like crazy and she came. She clamped her legs together and her body spasmed. The orgasm jolted through her. She kept one hand on her clit and she let go of Mandy’s breast, letting her face rest against it.
Mandy and I were taken by surprise so we just let her ride it out and then catch her breath.
“You ok?” Mandy asked, seemingly genuine. Kendra was still shaking, my cock still buried all the way in her.
“Mmmmm,” was all she could say, her eyes closed. “I have never come like that before!” I moved backwards, trying to remove my still diamond hard cock from her clamp like pussy. Kendra complained. “Noooo, don’t take it out!! Fuck me again! Please!”
“See, not only did she survive it, she’s looking for seconds,” I said to Mandy, really hoping I could still hook up with her. She eyed me, deciding something.
“Ok, you guys tidy up here and once the bar is closed up, you and I will come back here. Deal?” she said taking her hand from her jeans, offering it for a handshake.
“Deal,” I said. Instead of shaking her hand, I took her hand in my mouth and sucked the pussy juice from her fingers.
Mandy laughed to herself, stood up and tidied herself. She put her huge boob back in the bra and straightened her clothes. She checked herself in the mirror and left.
“Have fun, you two!” she said. I watched her ass as she left. Man, I really wanted to get inside those jeans, I thought to myself. For the time being I would have to take my frustration out on poor little Kendra, though she didn’t seem to mind!