Chapter 1: The beginning
The notebook
At some point I started a desire-notebook. Sometimes I would have a really strong desire for something that my wife just wasn’t in the mood for, so I’d write it down in a small pocket notebook. If/when that act occurred, I would fold the page in half, write the date on it, and consider that act ‘completed’. Finding comfort in also occasionally recording ideas that seemed too obscene for reality, I began filling this notebook with any random desire that popped up. Some were easy to bring up and accomplish, things like: “Fuck doggystyle”. We’d done it plenty and it’s pretty common for us, so that page was folded quickly. Others required the right mood and timing for both of us – things like “Next time we make a pie, have her feed it to me with her feet, then lick it off of her to clean them and worship her feet.”
Through the action of just writing these things down, I would feel some relief knowing that I would not have such a great idea slip through my memory and be forgotten. Many have come true, and many more may still, but I also knew that some were just likely to live as wonderful ideas to occasionally masturbate to or fantasize about.
One Friday
We’d had guests at our house for a week, so despite it being summer and our pool feeling nice – with guests around my usual love of my wife’s thong bikinis had been replaced with more conservative affairs for the sake of everyone but me. They were all leaving Friday afternoon though – and my wife knows I do love a good anticipatory teasing.
“It says it’s not supposed to rain until Monday or through next week.” she says to me after dinner.
I already thought I knew where this was going. While I hate to jump to conclusions mentally, my physical responses always seem to.
“Yeah, should be good and sunny out. Do we have any plans for the weekend?” I try to play along but I’m horrible at it. She knows.
“Grocery and some other small things, but I figured I’ll sneak away at some point and shower and shave and make sure I can wear my other swim suits this weekend.” Yep, I was right. Game on – win for me.
Saturday
Saturday came as I expected, getting some household chores done early in the day, but with her staying in just a bra and panties and being flirty doing it. The afternoon got grocery shopping done. The evening heated up near dinner time as the pool was warm – and out came the string/thong bikini she’d specially gotten herself “just to get some sun” but that I loved because the amount of skin that was out for my eyes to devour.
I was leaning to expect late Saturday to be more of the same – a teasing amount of skin – but keeping everything nice until later in the night. Maybe we would take a shower together after the pool and spend some time in the sheets afterwards.
Saturday night
I always try to express what I want from my wife; I find that I’m much more likely to get what I want if she knows what that is. While a great theory (and great in practice) it does not always make it easy to vocalize certain desires.
“I’ve been really feeling submissive/servicey recently, so think about if there’s anything you’d like me doing this evening that may play to that – getting a pedicure, a nice massage, anything really…” I trail off as I always get slightly shy when trying to suggest such things.
“Yeah, I know. Is this the type of submissive that means you want to suck my toes or suck my cock?” She smiles. She knows me, and she’s right, but usually I do try to perform some service for her before just demanding the stuff I want.
“Both maybe?” I’m confident in my desires but always feel to question my requests in case they’re not in her mood/radar right then. “Either would be nice, I just figured I’d let you know I’m in the mood if you have anything you want to do to take advantage of it.”
“I’ll think about it and see what I can remember.” she replies coyly.
I remember thinking her response was odd. I mean, the “I’ll think about it” is pretty common, but “what I can remember” has me offput a little. “Remember”? Maybe she means she’ll try to remember that I mentioned this mood later tonight? Maybe to remember a past conversation about something I desired? This made my brain go to a coasting mode trying to decipher whether I was going to get any that night or not without being too desperate about asking her to clarify.
Saturday Night Shower
A lot of our lovemaking starts in the shower. We both like to feel fresh and often after a day in our outdoor heat it’s a good way to remove some sweat and feel good again. It’s almost routine for us now after all our years together. Our usual routine is that she goes into the master bathroom and starts the shower water, pees, and then gets in once the water is warmed up. I use the guest bathroom in the hall if I need to and then come and join her in our shower.
As usual I pee and come to the master shower. She’s already in it and just huddled under the warm water. Not washing yet, just enjoying the feel of it hitting her. I step in and wrap my arms around her from behind – pressing myself against her back.
“What a nice surprise to find you here.” I say into her ear, just squeezing her tighter because I can.
“Hah” she laughs – a short, clipped laugh. Usually I just get a semi-shy response or an “uh huh” to my silly/cheesy things I say to her, but this one has something else behind it. I back up slightly to give my arms room and adjust so that her breasts are in my hands, still pressing by body against her back. An “Mmmm” comes from my vocal cords.
She turns around – a big grin on her face – but still reserved as if she is going to be shy about something. I tilt my head inquisitively.
“Are you going to wash me?” she asks. Not commanding at all, that’s not her style, truly just in a curious manner. Even when I’m not in my head about feeling more submissively-minded I like to bathe her. Sometimes this is bittersweet. When I’m really horny but time/life just don’t work out – sometimes it means that the pinnacle of my day will be what we’ve come to call “Sudsy Butts” where after washing her I squeeze the remaining suds out of her loofah onto her asscrack and drive my cock between her cheeks – using her to masturbate – until I cum (sure, “hotdogging”). It definitely beats jerking off alone. Sometimes it turns into her canting her hips further forward and being a quick pussy fuck or turning to give me a nice soapy handjob or titfuck. Sometimes it is bittersweet though if I thought the shower was the prelude rather than the main event, as it does always signify that there’s not a chance of things happening post-shower.
I wash her, naturally paying the most attention to the curves where I want my hands to glide soapily along her body. Her breasts have never been cleaner than after a bathing by me. She squirms when I hit certain spots, but there is no probing here, I am just enjoying feeling her body smooth and soapy under the hot water and pressing against me.
I bend to my knees to wash her lower body, legs, lifting and paying attention to not tickle her feet but to also ensure the soap is off of them before she tries to stand/balance on them again. Here the water usually gets in my eyes if I look up too much, but I can also never not look up and admire her body from this angle. Being here beneath her and washing her is a happy place for me.
She smiles, “I didn’t pee before the shower.” My brain doesn’t immediately process her meaning – but when it does my mind runs away with thoughts. “Do you still want me to go in here?” she asks. We’d talked about it before, even had her pee in the shower before – but now seems different.
I nod first, but a “Yes, please.” also makes its way out. I’m still kneeling and racing with thoughts of where this is going. I’m rock hard yet also trembling with anticipation.
“How?” she asks.
“If you’re willing…” I can’t quite bring myself to fully say it, but I tilt my head towards her and look up.
“You’re sure?” she tests my confidence.
“Yes, please.” and I close my eyes.
It feels like a forever of waiting. I almost open my eyes to see if she’s the one who has grown too uncomfortable and backed out of the situation – and then there it is – a flow slightly hotter than the shower water across me. I open and push out my tongue and catch only a little as she lets herself empty onto me. I dare not open my eyes now lest it make her become uncomfortable in me being an audience – but I also just want to enjoy the moment.
I’m not positive of the sound I make, but it’s of a pleasure. I both ache to be touched and cum but relish in the moments of anticipation and exploration – giddy as to what is to come of this night.
“So?” She asks shyly and simply. “Is it what you expected?”
“Yes,” suffices as an answer, “thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” she says. I want to question for a deeper meaning, but the crackling of her sliding back the shower curtain as she steps out silences me. She grabs a robe and leaves me to finish showering myself while she dries. I stand under the water briefly making sure I’m properly clean, but also to try to let my brain process what’s happening and catch up with all of my thoughts.
Saturday Night’s Second Surprise
As I move the curtain and step out of the shower myself she’s nowhere to be seen. Usually she’d still be there toweling off her hair or something, but she’s gone. I tousle my own hair and wrap a towel around my hips and peek out into our room. If she’s not in the bathroom still usually it means she’s taken it upon herself to take the “bottom” position on the bed – usually sitting with a coy/hither-smile on her back – waiting for me to come and mount her with kisses; but, she was not in the bedroom yet either.
I hear a ‘clack’ from our closet as she emerges from its carpeting onto the tile outside of it. Heels. I look over and she’s still in her robe, but has on one of my favourite pairs of her pleaser-pumps. Fuck-me shoes. Suck my toes shoes. She’s-almost-my-height-now shoes. Game-fucking-on shoes. This is just a little bit off too. While I’m absolutely always on-board with her wrapping her beautiful feet and sexy toes into a pair of these bedroom-only shoes – usually (a) I’m putting them on her at my own behest for a foot-play night (b) she’s putting them on to feel more powerful/sexy with some particular lingerie set. I do not usually see the heels accompanied by her bathrobe. By this point though I’ve already seen the night is a little bit weird/special though, so I don’t dwell on the thought too long.
“Pink or blue?” She asks me a colour choice – but I have absolutely no idea the true context. This is one of her favourite things to do – asking questions which need answers which may be very important – but without providing the full subject of the question so my answer may as well be random. I presume she means colouration of some bra/panty set or perhaps lingerie.
“Blue?” I say questioningly, trying to figure out if I’ve made the right decision to the quandary.
“OK, give me a moment.” she turns back to the closet. I presume this includes a request for some secret privacy, and I do enjoy a bedroom surprise, so I return my towel to the bathroom hanger and go into the bedroom. I lounge semi-reclined onto our bed, placing myself on the ever-present sex-towel that she must’ve placed there. This, this is pretty normal. Sex almost always gets sweaty if not juicier, so we almost always have at least a towel present on the bedtop for whatever-may-come.
I hear the click-clack of her footsteps onto the tile outside the closet again as she returns to join me. Just as she’s about to clear the doorway into my view I hear first the click of the lightswitch beside her. Frustratingly it plunges the room into total darkness just before I can see what she’s wearing or has retrieved from the closet. My eyes fight to focus but have only just begun to regain their vision when they’re shocked back to darkness as a match striking across the room startles them.
The struck match hisses and then glows brighter as it transfers its fire to a candle on a wall sconce. Regaining composure again my eyes see her near me. With me still sitting on the bed I scoot towards the foot of it so that I’m sitting on the edge with my legs off the end instead of more-middled as I was. Her robe remains on – so whatever outfit still is not revealed beyond the shoes. With the extra height as she approaches my head is only to the height of her breasts. I reach my hands forward – intending to grasp her hips and open her robe – but she stops me.
“Uhn uhh.” she murmurs, brushing both of my hands away gently.. Regaining composure again my eyes see her near me. With me still sitting on the bed I scoot towards the foot of it so that I’m sitting on the edge with my legs off the end instead of more-middled as I was. Her robe remains on – so whatever outfit still is not revealed beyond the shoes. With the extra height as she approaches my head is only to the height of her breasts. I reach my hands forward – intending to grasp her hips and open her robe – but she stops me.
“Uhn uhh.” she murmurs, brushing both of my hands away gently. The sly grin is there again – causing her eyes to be extra bright and salacious even in the low-light.
She pushes me gently indicating that I should recline. I appease. Nude, my erection stands out from the bed. I lift my torso slightly and fold my arms behind my head as she climbs onto the bed beneath me. Her hands press on my thighs as her mouth lowers all the way to – also my thighs. She snickers gently as she knows what I was expecting. She teases kisses around my thighs somehow avoiding my cock completely as it strains to even catch a grazing against her skin as she passes so near to it. My hips rise – not bucking – just pressing skyward as my senses are electrified by her kisses.
Like a fairy nymph her laughter trickles out teasingly as her kisses rise across my abdomen and chest. Her damp hair tickles as it falls around her face as she continues. She adjust her body upwards towards me so that her kisses can climb up my neck. Now I earnestly buck as my neck signals my body to full speed ahead try to fuck her as earnestly as I can. The heat of her breathing hits my cheeks and I close my eyes as I open my mouth expecting her probing tongue to find its way home there. I get no taste of her though as her mouth deviates from its natural destination and I instead feel her breath cross my ear.
Her voice is barely audible as she says, “Do you want a taste?” This is the stuff dreams are made of. Fuck yes I want a taste. I want a taste of everything at this moment.
“Please.” escapes me huskily my body squirming against no binds but still trying to control myself to endure whatever pleasures are coming.
I thought maybe she meant tasting her kisses, her tongue, her lips. I thought maybe she meant that a wanting nipple would be next – instead I feel the bed unweight as she climbs off. My eyes open as she stands at the end of the bed. I’m unsure how to proceed.
“OK.” is her simple response as she stands there looking at me. “Taste.” She motions her hand in a cross-body spreading manner that is still not quite clear as to her intentions.
I climb off of the bed and as I do she turns and sits on the edge of it as I had initially been. I kneel and begin to lift her foot up myself. As I lift one leg she raises the other and plants the forefoot and heel of her other foot onto the middle of my chest gently. I kiss her toes as they peek from the edge of her shoe. I turn her ankle gently and gently kiss along the sole and arch of her foot where it is exposed. I lower that foot down to my chest and lift the other, repeating my actions in earnest.
She sits up a little bit straighter and pushes aside the lower portion of her robe to reveal more of her thigh. Inviting me to investigate further as I kissed up her legs and thighs. As I bring my face closer and she presses back the bathrobe more I see some panties I don’t recognize blocking the path to my desired goal. Her breasts are bare and all she has is some strappy looking panties on. I proceed and as I go to sweep the panties to the side to delve into her face-first I realize that her pussy is already exposed. I’m not faced with crothless panties, rather I’m staring at her corset-styled strapon harness with no dildo in it.
I make eye contact as I glance up with a little bit of a “what in the fuck?” glance – it’s met by a knowing smirk and a nod.
As I proceed with my best intentions to dive my tongue into her and lick at her like I’m starving she shifts her body and reaches. I’m not sure where it was but she presses a hand to my shoulder to push me back slightly and presents one of our strapon dildos, blue, and rubs it against her cunt.
“Not like that.” her voice whispers.
The dildo gliding along her wet pussy then begins to make strokes into her. Guiding it into herself with her own lubrication she takes a few brief strokes before the entire depth of it is disappearing into her. I’ve not backed up more than her shoulder-touch indicated to me to and am still just watching and listening as I can hear her wetness with the dildo.
“Here,” she indicates and turns the dildo towards me.
I eagerly bobbed my mouth onto it and proceeded hungrily licking her sweetness off of what was now her cock. I glance up for approval and she smiles before plunging it back into herself. She presents it to me again and again I clean every drop of her off of it to the best of my abilities. We repeat this effort a few times until I can tell that the exchange is even forcing her desire levels to soar.
“That’s enough” she says as she puts a hand under my chin. She brings her face down towards mine again as if to kiss, but instead just whips her tongue across my lips and smirks wickedly.
She pats the bed next to her indicating for me to get up on it. I get up on all fours as she fastens the dildo into the harness. I watch as she slides up behind me. As she does she jacks off the dildo as it’s an extension of her own body and she wants to stay hard to fuck me. I lean forward waiting to feel the coldness of lube against my asshole before she fucks me. Instead I feel the glorious warmth of her hand as it wraps around both my cock and hanging balls together and gently stokes them. I hear her wet her lips only momentarily before a lightning shock of pleasure fills me as her tongue presses itself hotly against the underside of my balls.
As my testicles react and my cock drips and throbs she maintains her grip steadily. Her tongue presses gently and goes up to my asshole where it flicks gently all around. I moan but remain frozen as if a statue as I don’t want any wiggling on my part to be a cause for her to move on from this action. I feel as if my heart is beating its way out of my chest as I catch my breath between strokes of her tongue. My cock throbs in beat with my heart but her hand stays heady. I thank all goodness for that, as I felt in that moment like the flick of a feather would cause me to cum.
Her trickling elfish wicked laugh shows her playful mood and is a bright comparison to my lower, more guttural moans of pleasure as she continues on me. When the wetness and heat of her tongue removes from me I whimper but am anticipatory again of knowing that the next step will be her fucking me.
“Was that good?” she asks rhetorically, but I answer horny-drunkenly anyways: “Yes.”
“Good, my turn then.” and she walks around the corner of the bed to be in front of me, climbs on, and bends in front of me.
Again a glorious unexpected twist I did not foresee. I scoot forward, wrap my hand around her now-dangling girlcock, and for the first time of the night get to taste her directly. Her pussy is nearly dripping as it is visible now between the straps of the harness. Her cock dangles above it leaving just enough room for me to press my face tight enough to be able to taste her hole. I eagerly lick and stretch my tongue but at the angle her clitoris is unreachable but her asshole is ready too and right there for me. I lick between her holes and then press the tip of my tongue directly against her asshole. I flatten my tongue and allow it to cover her, then straighten it to a tip and encircle her beautiful ring. She rocks her hips backwards into my face and I lift myself to spread her cheeks wider as I continue to dance across her flesh.
I hear a pitched “uhh, uhh” as she begins to squirm under my attention. I start to think to myself that I, too, can play the teasing game. Her shoulders drop as she flattens her chest to the bed. As she lowers off of her arms her angle makes her only more accessible to my mouth. She melts onto the bed but her hips stay high for our mutual pleasure.
I thought I could tease too, but with her body’s reactions and my own I move to kneeling behind her now – intent that I’m going to keep her on her high and plunge my cock into her and fuck her right there. As I lift my face away and shift my weight forward her hand thrusts from between her legs and presses my thigh back away from her.
“Not yet.” Probably the last thing I wanted to hear right then.
“Uhhnnnn” I groan. Partially out of wanting desire but also in a playful tone as I’m excited to see what her counter intentions are.
She sits up and turns around. She gently pushes to me to indicate to roll to my back. I do and she crawls to be beneath me again. I lift my hips and wrap my thighs over hers as she kneels and aligns her harness with me. A squirt of lubricant and she’s aiming her strapon at my asshole. I grab her thighs to control the descent and she leans onto me, pressing until her hips are fully grounded against my ass and the entirety of the blue dildo is inside me. Her breasts dangle between my legs and I take the opportunity to take one into my mouth and suck at it gently.
She pauses there and allows me time to adjust. I reach to pull her into me by her thighs. She sits more upright and I wrap my thighs around her hips and behind her back – using them as controllers to keep her cock from slipping out of me. As she finds her rhythm and fucks me I roll from keeping my head back and enjoying the feeling to wanting to stare up and watch as her body writhes above and into me – her breasts swaying and her eyes twinkling.
Usually our pegging sessions are fairly quiet with exceptions of “Is that OK?” or maybe a “Yes, right there” from me.
“Do you like that?” she says – beginning with gentle dirty-talk.
“Yes” I hiss out like a snake. I lift my hips into her on this stroke to emphasize the truth of my answer.
“You like getting fucked by my cock?” This. This is out of her ordinary.
“Yes.” I answer and squirm again.
“Yes what?” she says more seriously.
“Yes, I like getting fucked by your girlcock.”
“Where?”
“In my ass.”
“Are you an slut for me now?” Wow. She’s definitely leveled up her comfort with dirty talk. I am into this something heavy.
“Yes.”
“Yes what?” she emphasizes more.
“Yes, I’m am anal slut for your cock.”
“Tell me more.” The fuck?
“I’m rock hard from you fucking me in the ass with your girl cock. I want you to fuck me like this more.”
“That’s right.” She gives a light, satisfied smack on my ass and quiets again.
“Here, move.” she pulls out of me and flips her wrist indicating I should move.
She lays on her back and I straddle her, lowering myself onto her now vertical strapon. I sit up and roll my hips as the dildo provides me a wonderful sensation. My hands grab strongly at her breasts as I cannot decide whether I want to watch them bounce and sway with my hip bucking or whether I’d rather hold them tight and feel them with my hands.
I lean back and arch as I pick up speed. Her hands wrap around my cock. I’m not sure whether she was trying to jack me off or just wanted to stop my cock from slapping her abdomen as it sways with my fucking.
“Ok.” I almost didn’t hear her at first because I was getting lost in the moment. “Ok, enough.”
I don’t question yet but climb off of the cock. Out of habit I wipe it and my ass with the towel. I tilt my head quizzically awaiting direction from her. She sits up and kisses me. I lean into it.
The kiss breaks and she turns to the nightstand. Sliding open the drawer she takes out her small vibrator and places it next to her. She lifts her hips and slides off the harness, leaving it on the towel beside her. I just watch. She clicks on the vibrator and lowers it to herself. Soaking wet it makes a slapping sound as it first contacts her clitoral hood. I reach to grab at her and she presses me back.
“Not yet.”
I lean to see if she thought I was trying to fuck her – this time instead leading with my head to indicate I wanted to lick her again. A “no” sounding “Unn nnnn” is murmured. I sit back sort of roughly, showing my frustration at not being certain what I should be doing. She lifts her knees and presses her heels into the bed. She moves her feet together in front of me and kicks off one of the heels by using the other. I take the sign and remove the other more gently with my hands. She coos again and smiles at me as she bends her neck back and continues with the vibrator. She lifts a leg and I take it in my hands and lick her foot towards my mouth. I didn’t blink as I still was mesmerized by watching her pleasure herself, but I still brought her foot to my mouth and kissed the sole before gently sweeping her toes across my closed lips just to feel the soft texture with my mouth.
I control both feet with my hands and rub them while alternating my kisses and gentle tongue sweeps from her soles to the tips of her toes to across the softest skin on the top of them.
Her other hand joins her first at her cunt. Her fingers only shortly circle to gather up lubrication before they’re inside of her. Her other palm presses the small vibrator against herself. Her hips rise and fall momentarily before rising higher again. I can hear the whine of the vibrator grow throatier as its pressed harder against her as she grinds into it.
Then, silence. She’s clicked the vibrator off and her body goes limp. Her neck arches back as her head rolls over the pillow and her eyes shut. Her breathing stops its rapidness and becomes slower/heavier breaths to compose herself. I give a gentle final kiss to her foot and lower it before reaching out to rub along her thigh as she comes down.
Her smile opens wide before her eyes do. Her hand grabs around trying to find my own before she grabs me. She smiles at me with both a strong sense of accomplishment while also a hearty amount of shyness or perhaps just feigned embarrassment at having taken herself in front of me.
“Yeah?” I question – not sure where to go next.
“Guess so!” she says cheerily with big smile.
She lifts her leg and flashes it over my head as she twists herself to situp on the edge of the bed. As she comes to her feet and the mattress raises a drastic realization dawns upon me. She seems to sense my apprehension, turns, leans back over the bed onto her arms, and kisses me deep with her tongue. We both quietly moan and I reach to pull her into me again. At feeling my pull around her torso she grows rigid and straightens away out of my kiss.
“Thanks.” She says and picks up a towel and shoves it between her legs.
“Thank you.” I saw out of my own politeness and truthfulness. I try to redirect to my current attention and cause though – pointing my eyes towards my stiff cock questioningly.
“That was good. But you’re not allowed to cum tonight. We can talk more about it later.” That fucking grin she gave. It sounded like she’s practiced this a million times. Everything – all the strange turns of the night – had led to this. Her laugh trickles coyly again and she skips off to the bathroom to clean herself.
I pause. Stunned a little. I’d thought about some of this before. Most of this we’ve even dabbled in over the years. But this confidence she exuded tonight – where did it come from? I mean, I’m game and up to play along – but just…. What in the fuck just happened?
Her head pops out of the bathroom, “Is that what you wanted?” – the smile is gone. She’s not in her confident role still. This is her seriously questioning herself.
“Yes. I think.” I somewhat stammer – perhaps questioning it all myself to. “Thank you.”
The end of Chapter 1.