Princess Cindy

Cindy peeked out of her window to look at the house diagonally across the street. She didn’t know the people who lived there but for the past three months she realized the woman didn’t seem to be around anymore. The man was still there; she saw him go to work each morning and return late afternoon or early evening. But her car was gone. As Cindy looked, she was a bit startled to see him arrive home early that day. When he got out of the car, she could see his weary shoulders slumped as he slowly walked up their sidewalk to the front door. He stood there for half a minute staring at the door before he put a key in the lock and let himself inside.

“What’s going on?” she thought to herself. “That is not a happy man.” Her thoughts were interrupted by squealing and crying as Mandy and Chris rushed into the room. They were so full of energy, she at five years and he at barely four.

“Mommy, Mommy!” cried Chris, “Is it true that goblins are real?”

“Why’d you ask?”

“‘Cause Mandy says they are ‘n’ it scares me.”

“Mandy!” warned her mother, “You know they aren’t real so don’t go scaring your brother about them.”

“But they are real, I saw it on TV!”

“Now, both of you, relax. Goblins are not real, they’re just for fun at Halloween. And when we go trick-or-treating, I’ll be there to make sure, OK?”

Mandy snickered at her still-frightened brother but both kids nodded their heads as she wrapped them up in her arms. “Are you getting excited about trick-or-treating? It’s in just three more days!”

They laughed and giggled with excitement as her attempt to divert their attention worked nicely. “Now, who wants to help me bake Halloween cookies?”

“I do, I do,” they shouted in unison as she led them to the kitchen. She let them help stir the dough and add some of the ingredients. They then took a cookie cutter and made shapes of stars, moons, witches hats and cats. Once the cookies came out of the oven, she allowed them put on orange and black frosting and to have two cookies each, even though it was so close to dinnertime.

“They might as well enjoy themselves,” she thought bitterly, “Lord knows it’ll be a long time before they have a normal childhood, if ever.”

Cindy had had what she considered the perfect life. She had grown up in a loving family which was comfortably middle class. They weren’t wealthy but they had had everything they needed. In her early twenties at college she met her dream guy. Ted was handsome, friendly and, once they went out, he never looked at another woman again. They dated for two years before he popped the question and they had a wonderful outdoor wedding on the grounds of a local vineyard. They were both successful, she as an accountant and he as an attorney. Once they had two kids back-to-back, she decided she wanted to stay at home for a couple of years before resuming her career.

Then tragedy struck. When the kids were still toddlers Ted’s commuter plane went down short of the runway at their local airport. There were no survivors and the crushing loss of her husband and lover cast her adrift. For weeks she could barely manage to function. Friends helped out taking care of the kids while she tried to deal with her overwhelming grief. The only things keeping her going were her children and the realization she would never need money again. Once the kids were born Ted had purchased a two million-dollar life insurance policy with a million-dollar accidental death rider. His firm also had a policy on him and split the proceeds with her. The airline, once it realized the fault was pilot error, offered each passenger’s families five hundred thousand dollars in return for agreeing not to sue.

So, with more money than she ever thought she would need, she decided to move back to her old hometown to live near her parents and to try and start anew. She purchased a modest house in the suburbs, got involved with volunteering to help the elderly with their taxes and financial affairs and doted on her kids. Her parents helped out by taking the kids every week or so for sleep-overs or for little activities, such as visits to the zoo or trips to the lake.

It had been nearly two years since the accident and though she still missed Ted every day, she was able to slowly move past her deepest grief and try to function somewhat normally again. She met a few neighbors, had tea each week with an older lady down the road and, when the children were at her parent’s place, was known to have a glass or two of wine with a lesbian couple next door. She had never met the couple across the street and even though she wondered what had happened with the woman, she knew he wouldn’t appreciate her nosing into his business.

On the next day she could hardly keep Mandy and Chris calm. They were too excited about Halloween and trick-or-treating so she bought their cooperation with generous doses of cookies. On Halloween her parents agreed to pick up the children from their twice-weekly preschool and take them to their condo and feed them. This would give Cindy a breather after a day of volunteer work and before she would escort the rambunctious two out for trick-or-treating.

Before her parents brought the children home, Cindy kept thinking about the man across the street. Although she had no idea what had happened with the woman, presumably his wife, she guessed he would not be handing out candy that night. Somehow it didn’t seem right so she decided to help out. Before he returned home, she filled up a small bag with loose candy and clipped on a note saying: For the ghosts and goblins tonight. Happy Halloween. Signed Your Neighborhood Witch. She darted across the road and placed it on his front step before returning home.

She kept watching until he came home. After he walked up the drive, she saw him stop and look at the bag. He picked it up carefully, read the note and casually glanced around. Before his gaze hit her house, she ducked behind the curtain and held her breath. A minute or so later she looked again to see his porch light was on and the bag had been taken.

Shortly after that her parents came with the very excited Mandy and Chris. Once dusk hit, Cindy helped them put on their home-made costumes. Mandy’s outfit was a skeleton painted on a black shirt and pants and Chris went as a ghost with an old-fashioned white sheet for his costume. The kids were proud of their costumes, particularly because they helped make them.

“Mommy, Mommy” asked Mandy, “What are you going to be for Halloween?”

“Oh, Sweetie, mommies don’t dress up, just kids.”

“No, you gotta go as something. Quick, get a costume.”

“Yeah,” echoed Chris, “Do something.”

“It’s too late, Kiddo.”

“No, it’s not. Wear something nice. Be a princess!” shouted Mandy.

“Well…let me think about it,” she answered as she quickly ran through her options in her mind. She recalled she had an old bridesmaid dress she could probably still squeeze into, ran upstairs, pulled out the dress and breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled it on with little trouble. A small table ornament of a few LED lights wrapped around her head became her crown and she was ready to go.

“Mommy, you’re pretty,” said Mandy in awe.

“Yeah, Mommy, you’re like a princess,” answered Chris.

“Thank you, you guys are so sweet. Now, don’t tell Nana or Gramps until we’re downstairs, OK?”

“Uh-uh, we won’t,” they promised.

Downstairs they were greeted with cries of surprise from her parents. “Oh, Honey, I remember that dress. And you can still wear it even after those two!” her mother said.

“Yeah, I can. Not eating for a few months helped with that,” she responded with a pang of sadness thinking yet again about Ted and the months of her suffering after he died.

“Now, Cindy, try to put on a happy face for the kids. This is their night,” whispered her dad into her ear.

“I will, Dad, I promise,” she answered with her eyes filling with tears and a smile forced onto her face. “Come on, you two. Let’s go trick-or-treating!”

The plan had been to take them a couple of blocks while her parents stayed and handed out candy to others. Cindy took them next door where the women oohed and ahhed about the costumes. Then they went on down the street stopping at all the houses. Once at the end of two blocks they turned around and went back on the opposite side of the street. The last house was the one she had been watching for the past weeks.

The children ran up the sidewalk and rang the bell. Once the door was opened, the man looked down at the kids and smiled before he looked up and saw Cindy. The smile on his face seemed to freeze and his eyes remained focused on her before the children started jumping up and down.

“Twick-or-tweet,” shouted Chris while Mandy pronounced it correctly.

“Oh, a ghost and a skeleton, wow, you frightened me!” he responded in mock horror before smiling at Chris. “Let me see, I think I have a little treat for you two,” he said as he reached into a huge bag of candy. “Here, how about three pieces for the ghost and three for the skeleton?”

Cindy was surprised to see he had his own big bag of candy and suddenly she felt foolish for sneaking some to his place that afternoon. She didn’t have time to think about it before he addressed her.

“And who is this behind you two?”

“It’s Mommy!”

“No, it’s not, Chris. That’s Princess Cindy who is protecting us tonight.”

“Well, you are lucky to have a princess like that. Princesses are very special people. Thank you for keeping them safe, Princess Cindy,” he smiled at her before going on, “I’m Roger, by the way. You live across the street, right?”

“Hi, Roger, nice to meet you and, yes, we live right there.”

“By the way, Princess Cindy, do you know of any neighborhood witches who might be dropping off bags of candy?”

Cindy felt her face blush as she stammered out she had no idea what he was talking about. After she finished her babbling, he smiled at her and nodded as if he knew good-and-well who the ‘witch’ was. In order to save her any more embarrassment he turned back to the children. “You’ll have to tell your daddy that you scared me with your costumes.”

“My daddy’s in heaven,” replied Mandy. “He’s looking after us all the time.”

“I see,” he replied in a more somber voice before he looked at Cindy and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to her. “Well, you make him proud, OK?” he said to the children. “Good night and thanks for dropping by.”

“Thank you,” said Cindy, suddenly saddened yet again thinking about Ted. “See you around. Come on, Kids, let’s head home. Say ‘Thank you’ to the nice man.”

“Thank you! Thank you!” they shouted as they ran down the sidewalk.

She turned to Roger and quickly thanked him. As she turned to leave, he said quietly to her, “You have my sympathy. Take care.”

She nodded to him and turned down the sidewalk with tears stinging in her eyes. She tried to keep a smile on her face for her children when they arrived home but she fled upstairs in the midst of yet another bout of self-pity and crying.

“Cin, Love, are you OK?” asked her mother from the door a few minutes later.

“Yes…No, not really, Mama. I get this way still. When will it ever stop?” she wailed, tears streaming down her face.

“I don’t know, Honey. What happened?”

“That nice man across the street asked the kids about their father and they told him he was in heaven, then as I left, he said something very nice and, and, I just lost it,” she sobbed. “How can I be a good mom to those two when I can’t even live my own life without breaking down every time I turn around?”

“You’re leading a good life. You’re there for them. You care for them, you teach them, you dote on them, you love them. That is so much more than most people do.” After a few seconds of patting her daughter on the shoulder, she went on, “Look, I’m going to put them to bed and I’ll tell them you have a headache. How about two pieces of candy for tonight and then I’ll put their bags up, OK?”

“Yes, Mama, that’d be great. I’ll have my cry and I should be OK by morning.”

“I know you will, Honey. Here, hug?”

“Thanks, Mama, you’re the greatest.”

The next morning was sunny and bright which seemed to boost her spirits. A hot shower and a cup of coffee also helped her feel better. She was halfway through her second one when Mandy stumbled downstairs.

“Are you feeling better, Mommy?”

“Yes, Sweetheart, I feel fine. Hey, do you want to have a piece of candy for breakfast? I won’t tell anyone if you won’t!”

“Yeah! Can I pick it?”

“Yup, sure can.”

“What about Chris? Does he get any?”

“What do you think?”

“Yeah. It’s only fair,” her daughter replied.

Cindy took her into her arms and gave her a big hug. “You’re the best big sister, being nice to Chris like you are. I’m so proud of you. So which piece do you want?” she asked as she pulled down the bag.

The rest of the morning was a relaxed one. Cindy usually did some casual teaching on those days when the kids were not in preschool. Mandy was clearly a smart girl but due to her late birthdate she had not been allowed in kindergarten. She was already reading a bit and would try to make out words on signs when they were driving in the car. Chris was as smart as his sister and Cindy knew he would do well in school also. She tried to make her teaching casual and fun, but there was always a lesson or a moral behind each of their activities.

—–

The kids were down for a nap a week later when Cindy was in the front pulling up a few weeds and tidying up the yard for winter. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Roger’s car pull up into the garage. A few seconds later his car door slammed and she heard him call out, “Afternoon, Princess Cindy.”

“Oh, hi Roger, but I’m hardly wearing my gown and tiara today,” she replied looking down at her stained jeans and tattered sweater.

“It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, I’ll always know you’re a princess in disguise,” he laughed.

“Uh, you’re home kinda early, aren’t you?”

“Ahh, been checking on my schedule, have you?” he teased.

“No,” she answered, turning beet red, “It’s that you’re so early…”

“I’m just kidding. I actually wasn’t at work this afternoon. This is my afternoon for couples counseling but she didn’t show.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks, but she’s the one who’s really gonna be sorry. The judge will be PO’ed. I think this may be the final straw.”

“Uh, look, you don’t need to tell me all this…”

“Yeah, I know, but sometimes it feels good to talk about it outside of a lawyer’s office. I didn’t mean to tell you my troubles. Hey, take care and next time I’ll talk ’bout something else. Promise.”

“OK, I’ll hold you to that. And Roger?” she asked as he was turning away.

“Hmm?”

“I hope it all works out for you.”

“Thanks. I mean it. Thanks again,” he smiled as he turned and walked up his sidewalk.

—–

For the next several weeks Cindy saw Roger only a couple of times. He did not decorate and seemed to be gone for the week of Christmas. Then in late January there was a wicked ice storm with heavy winds. The power was off and Cindy and her kids remained in the living staying warm by the fire. She was able to cook on the gas stovetop by flashlight so she tried to make it into an adventure for Mandy and Chris. They had fun making a tent with blankets and planned on sleeping on the floor while she would take the couch.

While she was preparing a hot chocolate for the kids there was a pounding on the front door. She saw Roger standing there so she quickly let him in.

“What on earth are you doing out tonight? Don’t you know it’s awful out there?”

“Yeah, but I wanted you to know that your garbage can was blowing down the street…”

“Oh, let it go. I can get it in the morning.”

“No need to. I rescued it and the lid and they’re now back behind your fence next to the house.”

“Roger, that was so sweet. You didn’t need to risk a broken neck on the ice for a silly little can.”

“It was no big deal. I took my time and everything is OK now.”

“Hey, kids, what do we say when someone does something nice?”

“Thank you,” they said in unison.

“And then what do we do?”

“Uh, I dunno…”

“Why, we offer them a hot chocolate, that’s what we do,” she said turning to him. “Could I interest you in a mug?”

“Yeah, thanks. That’d be nice,” he answered and turned to Mandy and Chris. “What have you here? A castle for the princess?”

“No, Silly, this is a tent in the forest,” giggled Mandy.

“Then where will the princess sleep?”

“She gets the couch,” shouted Chris.

“Someday I’ll have to tell you the story of the Princess and the Pea.”

“Tell us now, tell us now,” the two begged.

“If it’s OK with your mom…”

“Sure, go ahead,”

Well,” he said, “Once upon a time…” he started off telling them the old story while Cindy made an extra mug of hot chocolate. At the end of the story the children were awe-stuck hearing that the princess could feel the pea through all those mattresses.

“I wonder if our princess could feel the pea,” said Mandy.

“Oh, I think she could,” answered Roger. “She’s a special princess, you know.”

“Maybe she is, but she is also a mom and mom’s need to get their children into bed. So, scoot, you two. Say ‘Good night and thank you’ to Roger, take your flashlights and get ready for bed.”

Once the two were in the bathroom brushing their teeth Roger turned to Cindy and thanked her for the chocolate. “And I had fun with your two, they’re sweet kids.”

“Thanks. It’s a lot of work. I don’t see how so many moms are able to do this job and go out to a paying job at the same time. And thank you for entertaining them with the fairy story.”

After Roger left, she put the children to bed on the floor and relaxed, snuggled up in a blanket on the couch while sipping a glass of port. As she lay there, she thought a bit about Roger. He was a nice guy, helped her with the garbage can before turning his attention to her children. They ate up his telling them the old story and he seemed to enjoy telling it to them. He used different voices for the different characters and gestured wildly to emphasize some of the story. One of her last thoughts before she drifted off was how nice it would be if her kids could have a male model in their lives.

—–

It was the week of Valentine’s Day when they saw each other again. She had just pulled in the driveway when she saw Roger walking briskly across the street to greet her. Once she was out of the car he asked, “Where’re the kiddos?”

“Oh, they’re still with their grandparents for the afternoon. They should be home pretty soon. Oh, and they loved your fairy tale. They talked about it for days.”

“Great. Uh, I wanted to talk with you though, about you, if I could.”

“Oh, what do you mean?”

“I’d like to repay your kindness for the hot chocolate. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me Friday at the Daily Grind down on Fourth Street?”

“Let’s see, that’s the fourteenth…,” her voice faltered. “No, oh God, no, I can’t!” she cried out as she quickly turned away from him.

“Cindy, what’s wrong?” he asked to her back as she ran away from him, went up the stairs and slammed the door. Stunned at her response and lack of an answer, he stood there before he realized Friday would be Valentine’s Day. He wanted to kick himself for choosing the wrong day for a casual invite. He returned to his house upset with himself and wishing he could undo his apparent error.

Inside her house Cindy collapsed and wept openly remembering those important Valentine’s Days from her past. Her first date with Ted had been on Valentine’s and he proposed exactly two years later on the same day. It meant so much to her. She realized Roger had no idea of any of this and she even realized he probably didn’t even think about Valentine’s when he asked her out for coffee. But she couldn’t do it. For her, Valentine’s was a day of mourning and she preferred to hole up and let the day pass with as little attention as possible.

On the thirteenth as she drove up the driveway with her kids in the car, she noted a box on her front porch. Once the kids were in the house, she went out to get it. Inside was a small flower arrangement of yellow daisies with a note attached.

“Dear Cindy,” it read, “I want to offer my apologies if I upset you the other day. It had honestly not registered in my mind when I asked you for a coffee that the day in question might have some significance for you. Sincerely, Your neighbor, Roger.”

Suddenly she felt awful. Roger was a nice guy and had simply asked her out for a cup of coffee. It wasn’t a big romantic date, just a couple of neighbors sharing some time together. After a few minutes she parked Mandy and Chris in front of Sesame Street and made them promise they’d stay right there for a short time while she ran across the street.

She could hear the doorbell chiming inside and the approach of his feet. Once the door opened, he smiled at her.

“Hi, Cindy. Can I help you?”

“Roger, I have to apologize for my behavior the other day…”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. I hope you got my little peace offering.”

“Yes, and they’re lovely. Thank you. Anyway, uh, I, uh, I kinda need to explain myself.”

“No need to, Cindy. Really.”

“Yes, I do. For my sake, I need to. Can I come inside for a minute? It’s cold out here.”

“Sure.” Once the door was closed, he offered her a seat and she declined mentioning the children were unsupervised and she needed to get back quickly.

“Anyway, uh, Valentine’s Day was our first date and also the date he asked me to marry him. Ted, that is.”

“Your husband?”

“Yes,” she sniffled as tears slid down her cheeks. “He was the love of my life and it still hurts to have holidays without him, especially Valentine’s without him.”

“My heart goes out to you, Cindy. I can’t imagine how painful it must be for you. I only hope you understand I completely spaced out the other day when I asked you for coffee. I merely wanted to repay your kindness for the chocolate and the fun evening with the kids. I had no intention of anything more. None.”

“Thank you. And thanks for the flowers. They’re pretty,” she sniffled some more.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “You have no idea how hard it was to get yellow flowers today.”

“Well, I need to be getting back. Sorry for the tears,” she said as more tears fell. But before she could turn back to the door, he took a couple of steps toward her and quickly wrapped his arms around her. Sobs wracked her chest as Roger gently patted her back. After a few minutes she seemed to have gotten control of herself, thanked him for the shoulder to cry on and let herself out the door. Back inside she avoided going into the TV room for a few minutes until she could compose herself.

Surprisingly, she did quite well the next day. Even though there was a general sadness in her heart, she didn’t cry and was able to go and help out at the preschool Valentine’s party without breaking down. Each child received a mylar heart balloon to take home. Roger saw them get out of the car and he waved at them. Mandy shouted “Happy Valentine’s Day, Roger” and giggled when he blew her a kiss in return.

“He’s so funny, Mommy, he blew me a kiss for Valentine’s.”

“Yes, Mandy, he’s a nice man.”

“Mommy, can we invite him over for more fairy tales sometime?” asked Chris.

“Well, sure, I think we can sometime. Now, who wants spaghetti for dinner?”

“I do, I do!” they shouted as one.

—–

It was one of those rare, glorious days in late February where you got the sense winter was slowly losing its grip. It was actually rather warm and Cindy told her children it was too nice to be cooped up in the house watching Saturday comics. Over their protests she dragged them outside and got them working with her in the garden. As she frequently did, she used this opportunity to teach, and this time is was about flowers and pollination and why bees were so important for the flowers. It was all casual talking but she could tell they were absorbing every word.

Suddenly Mandy shouted out, “We’re learning about flowers and bees.”

Cindy turned around to see Roger grinning slightly. “What about the birds?” he laughingly asked.

“Yeah, Mommy, what about the birds?” asked Chris.

“Oh, ask Roger, let him explain,” she answered, laughing to herself at how she’d perfectly returned his serve.

“Well, uh, you see,” he said as he crossed the street, “Do you know what the bees do?”

“Yeah, Mommy just told us about pollen going to part of the flower to make seeds and fruit. The bees help with that.”

“Well, yeah. And, so can birds. You’ve seen a hummingbird before?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, they go from flower to flower looking for nectar, a sweet liquid down in the flower. When they put their little beaks into the flower, it can make the pollen go where it can help make seeds. See?”

“Wow, you know so much about the birds and the bees,” said Chris innocently.

Roger glanced at Cindy and with a grin said, “Maybe I do.” Then, he went on, “Cindy, I’d like to fire up the bar-b-q grill this afternoon. If I were to grill some dogs and burgers, would you guys want to come over and make sure I do it right?”

“Yeah, Mommy, let’s.” “Please, Mommy, I wanna go.”

“OK, Kiddos, I think we can. But it is always polite to accept an invitation and then volunteer to bring something. Roger,” she said turning to him, “Is there anything we can bring?”

“How about drinks? I don’t know what you guys like, so…”

“Great. We will bring some sodas. Uh, brews?”

“Yeah, that would be nice. I love a cold one with my burger. What about you?”

“I’ve been known to partake now and then. What time should we come over?”

They arranged it for midafternoon giving Cindy a bit of time to wrap up the gardening, feed the children a small snack and race to the store for a six pack of Wild Skunk Ale.

Once at his place she helped with the food prep while the kids pestered him and asked dozens of questions about bar-b-q’s and grilling food. She let them each have a bit more soda than usual while she and Roger slowly nursed their beers. The hotdogs were a hit with Mandy and Chris while she enjoyed the feta cheese-infused patty in her burger. By late afternoon the kids were fading and she knew they needed a quick nap.

She had just put them down when she heard a quiet rapping on her front door. Roger stood there with a sheepish grin.

“Yes?”

“Uh, I, uh really enjoyed this afternoon, Cindy, but I have to say we, you and I, that is, didn’t get to talk a whole bunch. Your kids are sponges soaking up so much, but I didn’t get to say much to you at all.”

“Oh? And what do you want to talk about?” she smiled at him. “The birds and the bees?”

“No,” he replied with a hint of a blush. “Not that I’m not interested, you see, it’s, uh,…. I’m digging myself fairly deep into the hole, aren’t I?”

“Roger, I’m teasing you. Sure, come on in. Let’s chat a bit until I have to get them up.”

For the next forty-five minutes they enjoyed adult conversation. She learned more about him; where he grew up and went to school, his family, his work at a small tech firm and a few words about his recently finalized divorce. She shared similar background information and surprised herself when she mentioned Ted once or twice without suddenly puddling up.

“Look, it’s getting late and I know you probably have your routines with Mandy and Chris, so I better be going. Thanks, Cindy, for letting me drop by.”

“No, it was fun and thanks for the afternoon invite. I know the kids loved it.”

“Yeah, well, see you,” he said as he turned away at the door.

“Roger?”

“Yes?”

“Could I bother you for another hug, please?”

“A hug?”

“Yeah, a hug. You know, two people, arms around each other, like the other day.”

He responded by holding out his arms and wrapping them around her as she wrapped hers around him.

“Mmm, feels nice. I get energy from hugs. You?”

“Yeah, I do too. Good night, Cindy,” he said as he gently broke the hug. “Sweet dreams.”

As she closed the door behind him, she leaned up against it and let her eyes close. It felt so good to be in the arms of a man, even if it was only the neighbor and even if she had to ask for it. Then a pang of guilt hit her but she forced herself to ignore it and went to roust the kids up from their naps.

—–

After the bar-b-q Roger and Cindy saw each other a bit more often. On a couple of occasions, they were able to chat when the kids were at preschool or with their grandparents. Roger was always polite and very much a gentleman. He never initiated any physical contact and it was Cindy who got into the habit of asking for hugs, but only when Mandy and Chris weren’t nearby.

In April Roger came over as Cindy returned home from her volunteer work at the Seniors Center. The children were still with their grandparents when he arrived. After their initial greetings he paused a few seconds before asking, “Cindy, would you be interested in having dinner with me?”

“Sure, name the time and we’ll be here.”

“Er, uh, I was thinking more of you and me, uh, no kids. You know, at a restaurant-kind-of-dinner.”

“Oh,” she paused, “Like a date?”

“Umm-hmm.”

“Whew. I don’t know, Roger. You’re nice, a great neighbor, great with my kids, but I’m not sure I’m ready for dating. You see, I’m still pretty…” she faded off, not finishing her thoughts.

“Look, Cindy, I understand. If you don’t want to go out, I’m perfectly OK with that. I enjoy being with you, talking with you and I thought….”

“Roger, tell you what: Let me think about it. You kinda caught me by surprise and I don’t know what to say right now. Can I get back to you?”

“Sure, no rush. Just thought a dinner would be nice.”

“I appreciate the thought, I really do.”

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before he went on, “Say, Cindy, I meant this as a casual thing. Nothing fancy. And no expectations. Just food, maybe a glass of wine, then home to your kids.”

“Yeah, like I said: Let me think about it.”

“Sure. Take care.”

Cindy went into her house totally flummoxed. She had been asked out on a date. No question about it. And Roger was a nice guy. But she wasn’t ready to date, was she? As if ever she would be. No one had asked her out since Ted did all those years ago and she wasn’t sure she was ready for dating. Yeah, she missed the closeness of a relationship, but more importantly, she missed Ted. How could she go on a date with her head held high when all she could think about was Ted? These and many other thoughts raced through her mind as she had a glass of wine and waited for her mother to bring her kids home.

After an hour or so they came racing into the house.

“Mommy, we’re home. What’s for dinner?”

“I haven’t planned anything. Pizza?”

“Yea, yah, let’s”

“OK, kids, go on into the house and I’ll plan on a trip to the Pizza Oven. Give me a few seconds with Nana, OK?”

Mandy and Chris ran into the house while she went out to talk with her mother.

“Hi, Mama, how were the two today?”

“Oh, you know they were great. Your dad and I love having them over. You’ve got great kids, Honey. We love helping you with them.”

“Thanks, Mama. Uh, I’ve got a bit of news, but I’m not sure I know how to react.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve been asked out, you know, on a date.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, this man across the street asked me for dinner.”

“Is this, what was his name? Oh, is this Roger?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Your kids have a way of talking about everything. They mentioned him a time or two. Seem to like him. So, who is he? Is he nice?”

“Yeah, Mama, he’s nice. I just don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Listen, Honey, I’m going to give you some advice, since you brought this up. You’ll never know if you’re ready unless you try. It’s been over two years. It may be too soon, maybe not. But I would suggest you go to dinner and see how you feel, see how it goes. The worst that could happen is you realize it’s too soon and you wait. What’s so bad about that?”

“But I’m so afraid I’ll break down in tears…”

“OK, so you break down in tears. Big deal. If he’s a decent man he’ll understand.”

“I’ve already cried on his shoulder once,” she admitted.

“See, and still he’s asking you out. Honey, you need to go. Try it. We’ll be glad to have the kids over for a sleepover so they won’t know anything. Finalize the date and we’ll be there for you.”

“Thanks, I guess. Let me sleep on it and I’ll let you know. OK?”

“Sure, give us a call. Now I’ve gotta pick up some carrots for our salad on the way home. Bye, Honey, talk to you later.”

After their dinner at the Pizza Oven the kids were exhausted and went to bed without complaint. She thought about Roger’s invitation and decided her mother was right. She had to try it. Since she did not have his phone number, she went upstairs to check on the kids. Both were sound asleep so she quietly let herself out of house and rushed across the street. A few seconds after she rang the doorbell Roger appeared.

“Oh, Hi, Cindy.”

“Hi, Roger. Uh, I can’t stay long. The kids are asleep. But I wanted to say ‘yes’ to your invitation. OK?”

“Yeah, definitely OK. I’m pleased.”

“Quick, give me your phone so I can put in my number.” Once she had put in her number she turned to go. “Give me a call sometime. We can set things up, OK?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered as she rushed back across the street.

A few minutes later her phone rang with an unknown caller.

“Hello?”

“Hello. I’m calling as instructed to set up arrangements for a diner for two,” he laughed.

“You crazy man! It’s been, what? Five minutes?”

“Hey, I didn’t want to lose out on an opportunity for a nice dinner.”

Rather quickly they decided on a dinner at a local Italian place for the following Thursday. Cindy knew her parents would be available that night and he wanted to avoid the big, weekend crowds. They then chatted for another twenty minutes or so talking about this, that or the other thing. When she hung up Cindy had a little smile on her face.

Then the guilt hit. How could she even think about a date? It was cheating on the memory of her husband. And though Roger had always been a perfect gentleman, she knew at some point dating led to sex. How in the world could she even think about sex with another man? Sure, she’d not been a virgin when she met Ted, but once they were sexually active, she couldn’t imagine ever sleeping with another guy. With a troubled mind she called her mother and told her the day she planned on going out.

“But, Mama, I’m feeling guilty about it.”

“Cindy, I’m going to pull the ‘mother card’ here. I’m going to tell you what to do. Then I want you to do it. And then, only then, if it doesn’t work out, you can change things. But for now, I’m telling you: Go. On. The. Date. See. How. It. Goes,” she said emphasizing each word. “Then, and only then, you get to decide if it was the right decision. OK?”

“OK, Mama,” she said in a subdued voice. “I’ll try it.”

—–

Her mother picked up the kids from preschool while Cindy drove home from her volunteer work. All the way home her mind was racing. She was going on a real date, with a new guy. And she was petrified. She couldn’t remember when she’d been so nervous prior to a date. As she thought about it, she recognized she was worried she’d think about Ted or cry or both. She didn’t want to embarrass herself, but how could she control her emotions? Once she thought about it a bit more, she smiled slightly and thought if Roger was a good guy, he’d understand.

She showered and decided on a nice, simple knee-length dress with a bit of a low bodice. This was accented with a nice scarf. She stuffed her phone in a tiny purse and waited for him to arrive. Sharply at seven her doorbell rang. Nervously she answered it. Roger stood there for a second looking at her before saying, “Wow, you sure clean up nicely.”

“Thank you,” she replied with a little laugh. “You didn’t know mothers can wear things besides dirty jeans and tattered tops, did you?”

“I know this one can. I’ve even seen her in a nice gown.”

“Oh, that was an old bridesmaid dress from way back.”

“Maybe, but I’m sure you looked very nice then, as you do now. Shall we?” he asked as he gave her his arm to escort her to his car. On the way to dinner they talked about their days and the upcoming spring festival in the community. At the restaurant they were ushered to a fairly secluded booth. Once they ordered their dinners and a glass of wine each, they talked, laughed and joked. She was totally relaxed and realized with a hint of guilt she went for minutes without thinking about Ted.

Dinner was delicious and they shared a dish of tiramisu for dessert and each had a cappuccino. On the way back she was fairly quiet and stared out the windshield.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Oh, I’ve been thinking about the most pleasant evening I’ve had in years. Thank you, Roger, for making it so nice.”

“Hey, I’ve enjoyed it, also.”

“Uh, before we get home, I’d like to ask you a favor.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“As you might guess, this is the first time I’ve been out with someone since…”

“Yeah, I kinda figured.”

“Could we please keep this friendly? I mean, don’t ask me for a nightcap, you know…”

“Cindy, I had no plans to do anything except escort you home.”

“Good, thanks.”

“I will, however, use this opportunity to let you know I’ve had a great time tonight. And I’d like to repeat this. OK?”

“Yeah, I think I’d like that. Thank you.”

“Well, here we are, your chariot has arrived at your drive.” He hopped out and opened her car door and escorted her up the steps. “Thank you, Cindy. Sweet dreams,” he said as he gently held her hands in his before he turned back to his car.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Uh, what?”

“My hug, Dummy, what about my hug?”

“Oh, my bad. Here,” he whispered as he took her in his arms. They stood there a few minutes quietly holding each other before she broke the hug.

“Thank you, Roger. Good night,” she whispered as she let herself into the house.

For the next hour her mind was racing with thoughts of pleasure and guilt. She truly enjoyed her evening with Roger. It was so nice to relax, have fun with someone and to talk about grown-up subjects. It had been ages since she had done that. But then her thoughts of Ted loomed in her mind. How could she enjoy being with another man when Ted was the best she could ever have hoped for? And she felt guilty for being with another man.

Finally, she called her mother. “Hi, Mama. It’s me.”

“Hi. Well, how’d it go?”

“OK. Roger’s a nice guy.”

“You don’t sound terribly excited.”

“No. No, I had a good time, but Mama, I’ve been home for over an hour and all I can think about is Ted.”

“I’m not going to try and persuade you about anything. You need to decide what’s right for you. But remember this one thought: What would you want if the situation were reversed? You know, if you had died. What would you want him to do?”

“You’re right. I’d want him to move on. Find new happiness, especially for the kids. They’d need a new mother…”

“Of course, but more importantly, you’d want him to be happy, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just I miss him so much,” she sobbed.

“Of course, you do. And going out with Roger or Bill or Sam or whoever doesn’t mean you won’t miss him. It means you are an attractive woman with certain needs…”

“Mama!”

“Now, you wait a cotton-pickin’ minute. I was that age once and I know what a healthy woman needs. Quite frankly, I know what a healthy woman of my age still needs.”

“TMI, Mama, TMI,” she laughed through her tears.

“Well, whatever. Anyway, I think you should go out more, meet people, do things with men and someday, maybe, just maybe you’ll find someone who can make you happy again. But if you don’t try, you’ll die a miserable old lady. So there, I’ve said enough. The rest is up to you.”

After a few seconds Cindy responded, “Thank you, Mama. I appreciate it, really, I do. Good night.”

“Good night, Sweetheart. I’ll bring the kids by tomorrow around noonish, OK?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.”

—–

A few days later Roger texted her greetings and indicated he had a good time with her at dinner. She casually texted back a few hours later. On one afternoon while the kids were in pre-school he dropped by and eventually helped her with some of the weeding in her front garden. It was a nice, casual conversation between them as they worked. She was surprised he didn’t suggest another date by the time he left. However, on the next day he called from work.

“Hey, Cindy, I’d like to get together with you again. You interested?”

“Definitely. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, I wanted to ask all three of you up to Long Lake on Saturday. It’s supposed to be nice weather, so I was thinking a picnic, maybe.”

“Oh, Roger, that sounds like a great idea. I know the kids would love to get out. Let’s do it.”

“OK, I’ll pick you up at ten on Saturday. We’ll be there within an hour and we can goof off, have a lunch and then I might have a surprise for the kids.”

“I see. And what do you have in mind for my kids?”

“You’re the one making the decision here, but I think it would be fun to get them into the paddle boats. I’ll insist they wear life jackets and we can have an adult in each boat. What do you think?”

“I think it would be fun. I’ll make sure they have bathing suits and bring extra clothes and towels. OK?”

“Great. I’ll see you all then.”

At the appointed time he walked over to their house and escorted them to his SUV. They were excited about the trip and talked non-stop asking questions and talking about things they saw on the road side. At Long Lake they took a short hike and ate the lunch Cindy had volunteered to bring. Afterwards, Roger led the kids down to the water activities center and asked to rent two paddle boats.

“Oh, wow. We’re going on the boats? Neato!” shouted Mandy.

Chris was a bit more subdued. When Roger noted this, Chris said he was ‘kinda scared’ to go in the boats.

“Chris, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But I’d like you to try it. How about we men go in one boat and let the girls have their boat?”

“OK, I guess.”

“Now kids, there are a couple of rules. The first is you need to get your bathing suits on. Once you’ve done that, meet me back here.”

A few minutes later all four of them were in bathing suits. Cindy had a sexy one-piece suit which was cut high at the hips, low at the bodice and was backless. When she arrived back at the center, she could tell Roger kept looking at her from the corner of his eyes. It made her happy to think he was attracted to her.

Roger then sat the two down and gave out rule number two. “You must wear a life jacket at all times. No exceptions.”

“But I can swim,” said Mandy proudly.

“And, so can I,” he responded, “But I’ll wear one too. It’s a rule that you can never break. That way it will be safe and fun for all of us. Look at your mom. She’s nodding yes. OK, kids, go let the man fit you for size.”

Ten minutes later they headed out, Roger and Chris in one boat and the ‘girls’ in another. It didn’t take much time for Chris to relax and enjoy the boat because it wasn’t tippy and moved at a snail’s pace. They never got too far from shore and paddled around in circles. At one time Roger pulled up behind the other boat and he slipped a water pistol to Chris. “Hey, when we go by them, I want you to shoot them, OK?” he whispered. Chris giggled and nodded yes. Once their boat pulled even with the other Chris aimed the water pistol at his mother and let fire.

“What the…,” she yelled before she had to bite her tongue, “What was that? You got me all wet,” she screamed.

Roger kept a straight face but Chris began to laugh and yelled, “I got you, Mommy!”

“You little rat. You wait until I get you back. And that Roger, too.”

After that they chased each other, occasionally splashing water onto each other and generally having a great time. By late afternoon the kids were flagging so they all bundled into the SUV and headed home. In no time the kids were sound asleep in the back while Roger and Chris got caught up. As they neared their homes, she thanked him several times for a great day and for including the children in his invite.

“Cindy, they’re great kids and you’ve done a marvelous job with them. I had fun with them and would hope we can do more things together. Interested?”

“Yes, Roger, I am,” she responded as she put her hand gently on his right forearm. “It goes without saying that I, gosh, it’s so embarrassing to talk about this but, anyway, what I was going to say was uh, you know, I come with two extras. And if you are interested in me, please understand.”

“Oh, Cindy, I know that. Hey, I like you, OK? And I’d like to spend more time with you, if you agree. And I had a great time today. It was fun to get Chris to open up a bit.”

“Well, he opened fire, that’s for sure!”

“Yeah, that was a kick.”

“I bet you liked seeing my wet bathing suit.”

“Oh, I won’t deny I looked. You are,” he paused looking at the slumbering kids a second before going on, “One sexy lady.”

“Thank you. Being a mom in jeans and an old shirt isn’t much of a sexy image, now, is it?”

“I think you don’t give yourself enough credit,” he said as he pulled up into her driveway. Once he had parked, he turned to her and took her hands in his. “I had a great time. Let’s do it again, sometime. OK?”

“Yes, let’s,” she answered as she stared him in the eyes. He looked back at her for as few seconds before he turned away to open the door.

“Roger,” she whispered, “My hug?”

He turned back to her and reached over the console and brought her into his arms. They sat there a few seconds before she pulled back, staring him in the eyes. Then she let head drift closer to his before she tipped her lips up to his, inviting a kiss.

The kiss was brief but sweet and tender. There was a slight hint of softening of the lips before they pulled apart.

“Mmm, nice,” she whispered.

“Yeah. Uh, let’s get these kids up into the house,” he said, breaking the mood. Once the three were all in the house he thanked her again before running his vehicle back across the street.

Cindy was occupied with fixing a quick meal and supervising two baths before reading to both of them until they fell asleep. She then had a glass of wine as she thought about the day. Suddenly she had waves of soul-wrenching guilt course through her veins. She realized she had gone for most of the day thinking about Ted only a few times. And she had kissed another man! She tried to remember the pep talk her mother had given to her before, but the overpowering sensation was she had done something wrong. She wept and tried to talk sense into herself but with no success.

Then her phone pinged for an incoming text.

I had a great time with the kids and you Thank you R

So did I I’m worried about the kiss

It was sweet

Yes but I feel bad about it

Suddenly her phone rang. “Hi,” she answered.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really. I have to deal with my own demons.”

“Cindy, I like you. I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all.”

“Hey, I initiated the kiss, you didn’t. You were the perfect gentleman.”

“Look, here’s the deal. I’d like to see more of you and the kids. But you need to be in the driver’s seat. And if you aren’t ready for a stronger relationship, I’ll respect that. I can’t imagine what your life has been like and I know you miss Ted. Miss him terribly. And I can’t be a replacement for him. No one can.”

“So, what should I do?” she asked with an exasperated voice.

“I don’t know, Cindy. I just don’t know.”

“Well, you’re no help,” she chuckled.

“Seriously, Cindy, only you can help you. Have you thought about counseling?”

“I did it for a while and it helped with some of the initial anger, I guess. But what I have now is guilt about moving on.”

“OoooKay. Then here’s what I propose: How about we be friends, you know, like in a neighborly way. We’ll wave, shoot the breeze and maybe we can do things with the kids now and then. But no pressure, no expectations.”

“I could do that…”

“You need friends, now don’t you? I can be a friend and maybe I can be a bit of a masculine figure for Mandy and particularly for Chris.”

“Do I still get my hugs?” she asked in a small, hopeful voice.

“Only if you want them, but they’ll be ‘friend hugs’ and nothing more. OK?”

“OK. Thanks for talking with me. I know it must be driving you crazy with me going in for a kiss one second and then pulling back from you the next.”

“Like I said, you’re in charge. I want to be in your life, even if only to be a nice neighbor.”

“Thank you. I really mean that.”

“Sure. ‘Night, Cindy.”

“Good night.”

—–

And for the next several weeks they were just that; friendly neighbors. They chatted about the weather and they had him over for dinner a few times with the kids asking him to tell them wild stories, tall tales and fairy tales. One breezy Saturday he took them kite flying after helping them each make old-style diamond-shaped paper kites with cloth tails. And he had them all over for another bar-b-q. On one occasion she needed someone to pick the kids up from pre-school and he gladly helped out. And during this time, she snuck in a couple of friendly hugs.

Mandy and Chris obviously liked him. He always seemed to have a new and exciting activity for them when they got together and Cindy could tell he always used the opportunity to give them little talks about the science or the history behind the activity. On the Fourth of July he shot off a few fireworks and got them sparklers while Cindy was pleased he talked about why we even celebrated the holiday as he talked about the history of the colonies.

That night after the exhausted kids were sound asleep, she sat quietly in her darkened living room, drinking a glass of wine, listening to music and thinking about the day. Roger was a great guy. He clearly liked her children and engaged them without talking down to them. And he seemed to enjoy being with her. He was, however, always a gentleman and never pushed anything. Indeed, she was the one who had to ask for a hug now and then.

Then her mind wandered a bit. She thought about sex and wondered if she’d ever find another lover. Ted was so attentive and such a great lover she thought even if she wanted to find another man, she figured he’d have to come up short. And how disappointing would that be? She was thinking about all of these issues when she suddenly realized she had no guilt about it. Sure, she missed Ted, but thinking about another lover didn’t make her feel guilty or evil! She smiled to herself about this and thought, “I guess I’m beginning to miss sex, or something.”

Halfway through a second glass of wine she looked down at her phone. Almost as if beyond her control, she found her hand picking it up and her finger suddenly clicking on Roger’s icon.

“Hello, Cindy, what’s up?”

“Oh, Hi, Roger. I just wanted to…” she paused.

“What?”

“Uh, could you please come over for a few minutes?”

“Yeah, be right there. Everything OK?”

“I’ll tell you when you get here.”

After a minute there was a light rapping on the door and she let him in. “So, what’s going on?” he said as she reached out to him and pulled him in for a big hug. She squeezed him tightly and felt his hands slowly stroke her back. He pulled away and looked at her. “Needed your hug, huh?”

“Yes, yes I did. And I need this, too,” she whispered as she reached her hands up and pulled his head down towards her. Then she kissed him. Oh, it felt so good. He was tender and loving, not forcing anything, and letting her set the pace. After a bit he slowly broke away and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she had a sweet, little smile on her lips.

“Thank you, that was nice,” she whispered as she nuzzled into his chest.

He didn’t respond as he held her loosely in his arms, gently rubbing her back.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “Could I have seconds?”

His response was to bend down and kiss her once again. This time there was a bit more passion, a bit more pressure and a tiny bit of tongue.

“You OK?” he asked her after they broke apart.

“Umm-hmm, yeah, I am. Thank you.”

“Thank you for asking or thank you for the kiss?”

“Both, I guess. Roger, please understand, this was a huge step for me. I really like you and…”

“And what?”

“And I’d like to do this again, sometime.”

“Sure. You know how to reach me,” he chuckled as he broke the hug and turned towards the door. “Goodnight, Cin, sleep tight.”

“I will. Goodnight.”

That night for the first time in ages she found herself seriously horny. Intellectually, she knew her body needed release occasionally, but this time her mind raced with images of Roger in his bathing trunks and memories of those two wonderful kisses earlier. She let her hand slip down inside her sleeping shorts and slowly started a ‘two-fingered tango’ in earnest. In no time at all she was soaking wet and she pulled some moisture over her clit and resumed round, circular strokes right over her pearl. She then found herself rising up to a wonderful orgasm which raced through her entire body. She relaxed a few seconds before starting all over again until she climaxed a second time. Then she curled up on her side and her final, conscious thought was, “Ted, Sweetheart, I think it’s time to move on. Please understand…”

—–

But on the following Saturday afternoon, her world was jolted anew. She was picking up in the living room when she saw Roger dressed up nicely in a suit and tie stroll out to his car and take off. He was going on a date; she was sure of it. Suddenly she felt pangs of jealousy even though she knew she had no claim to him. Still, it bothered her for the entire evening until she heard two cars drive up around ten pm. She peeked out to see him escorting an attractive woman from her car up to his house.

Suddenly, Cindy was torn up. She knew intellectually she had no claim on him, but emotionally at least, he was hers. He was her rock, her hug-giver and a great role model her kids. When she went to bed later, the woman’s car was still there. Around three she woke up for a potty break and she noticed the woman’s car was gone. She felt slightly better and drifted off to sleep.

The next day when Roger was mowing his yard, she decided to go over and see him. She knew she shouldn’t, but the insecure teenage girl in her needed to know what had happened. When he saw her cross the street, he killed the engine.

“Hey, Cindy, nice day, huh?”

“Yeah, weather’s nice, at least.”

“Oh, something wrong?”

“Yeah. I, uh, I didn’t sleep too well last night.”

“That’s too bad. Something bothering you?”

“Roger, I won’t beat around the bush. It seems my neighbor and good friend went out on a date last night. And a woman came by afterwards.”

“Whoa. Were you spying on me?”

“No, I happened to see you leave dressed up. I kinda knew what was going on from there. Then when I went to bed, I saw you and her. She stayed really late.”

“Hey, look, Cindy. Let’s get something straight. I like you. I like you a lot. I adore your kids. But that doesn’t give you a claim on me and it doesn’t give you the right to pry into my personal business.”

“So, are you just giving the old widow lady some attention while you go get your jollies somewhere else?”

“Jesus, Cindy, what’s got into you? I thought we were friends!”

“I did too,” she answered with a sob in her throat. “And I know I’ve been hard to deal with, you know, with my issues. But somehow I thought that we were…”

“Were what? Lovers? Cause we’re not. Not that I wouldn’t be interested, but we’re not. And I get to go out with other women on my time and how I want.”

“I know, I know. I’m being such a bitch,” she sobbed. “But I’m hurt even though I know I have no right to be.”

“You’re not a bitch. You’re acting a bit rashly, but I’d never call you a bitch.”

“I’m sorry, but it hurt me. Who was it, anyway?”

“Look, Cindy, I like you. I really like you. But this has got to stop. Please stop before we both get hurt and live to regret it. Now, let me finish this work. Please.”

“OK,” she responded with a small, hurt voice. “See you around.”

“Yeah,” was all he said as he fired up the mower again.

Back at her house Cindy broke down. Not only was she hurt he’d gone out with another woman, she also knew she’d done a horrible, horrible thing and probably ruined their friendship. She tried to dry her tears and present a strong front for the children.

Later that day Mandy and Chris were playing in the front yard trying to throw a frisbee back and forth with not much success. When they saw Roger across the street they said ‘Hi” and asked if he’d help them. He appeared wary but came over, stood with them and showed them how to hold it correctly. In no time they were doing a lot better.

“Thank you,” shouted Mandy, “You’re so nice.”

“Hey, it’s fun to toss one of those around. Glad I could help.”

“Would it be OK if I asked Mommy to give you a soda, or something?”

“Eh, maybe not today. Your mommy was a little upset earlier and I think it would be best to say ‘No’.”

“Why was she upset?” asked Chris.

“Oh, nothing big. Look, you two, I’ve got to go to the store, so take care.”

“OK,” they answered together, “Bye.”

After they tired of the frisbee they went inside to see their mother wiping a tear from her eye. “Mommy, what’s wrong?” asked Mandy.

“Nothing, Honey,” she lied.

“Why are you crying? asked Chris.

“I’m a little bit sad, that’s all.”

“Roger said you were upset,” said Chris.

“Now when did you talk with him?”

“He came over and helped us throw the frisbee. We wanted to invite him for a soda but he said you were upset. What’s wrong, Mommy? Are you mad at Roger?” asked Mandy.

“No, Sweetheart, I’m not mad at Roger.”

“Good, ’cause I like Roger. You like him too, don’t you Mommy?”

“Yes, Kiddo, he’s a very nice man. Now, how about some hamburgers for dinner?”

The change in subject distracted them and she was able to avoid any further discussion of Roger.

For the next two weeks Roger seemed to be suddenly less visible. He went to his car quickly, didn’t hang around the front yard and mowed his yard when Cindy was away at her volunteer work. She realized he was still hurt, mad, upset, whatever, and it was all her fault. She even slipped a quick apology note into his mailbox but he never responded. She knew she needed to talk to him and kept looking at his place hoping to catch him but with no success.

Finally, one evening she put the kids in front of the TV with a big bag of popcorn and told them she was going over to Roger’s place.

“Say ‘Hi’ to him and tell him we miss him,” called out Mandy as Cindy was headed out the front door.

After she knocked there were footsteps coming to the door. Roger opened it up and with a somewhat subdued voice greeted her.

“Hi, Roger, may I come in?”

“Uh, sure. Kids OK?”

“Yeah, they’re fine. Well, not really. They are wondering why you’ve not been around much lately.”

“Nice kids. I miss seeing them. Are they alone now?”

“Yeah, but they’ll be fine for a few minutes. Uh, look, I need to say something. I can’t begin to tell you how pissed I am with myself for my behavior the other day. I had no right to say what I said and had no right to question you or your relationship with the gal you went out with. You are looking at a one hundred percent contrite neighbor begging forgiveness.”

“I see. Cindy, if I can be so blunt as to say that, uh, what you did…”

“Was wrong. I know. I was unbelievably rude and inappropriate. I was being a bitch about you and your personal life.”

“Come here, give me a hug. Look, you’re not a bitch. I think you have misinterpreted what happened,” he said over her shoulder. “Before I explain what happened, you need to understand it is absolutely none of your damned business, but I’ll tell you anyway.”

“No, you’re right. You don’t need to say a thing. Maybe you shouldn’t.”

“But I want to. So, here’s the deal; Amy is a client our firm works with and she was invited to a wedding with a plus one. She asked if I would be the plus one. We had a great time, danced, drank, you know, what people do at weddings.”

“Then you brought her home with you.”

“Yes, I did. Care to guess why?”

“I’m afraid I don’t want to know the details.”

“Too bad. I’m giving them to you anyway. Amy is remodeling her kitchen and we talked about built-in appliances. I told her about mine and she asked to see them. So, I invited her over. We sat in the kitchen, drank coffee and talked about appliances. I referred her to the guy who rebuilt my kitchen and a good cabinet maker. Then she left. Happy?”

“No,” she wailed, “I’m miserable. And I’m so, so sorry I acted like I did. You must hate me…”

“I don’t hate you, not at all. I was surprised and disappointed, but I don’t hate you. Cindy, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I just can’t. But I am willing to forgive you if…”

“If what?”

“If I can take you out on a real date again. You know, dinner and a movie, maybe?”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh, ‘m sure.”

“Then yes, yes, I’ll go on a date with you. Can we do it next weekend? The kids will be having a long weekend with my folks.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. How about you dress kinda nice and I’ll surprise you with dinner at a nice place. OK?”

“Yes, OK. What time?”

“I’ll text you the details,” he said as he hugged her one more time and patted her on the back.

“Look, I gotta go check on the kids. I’ll see you later. And again, I apologize for being such a …”

“Nope, you’re not the ‘B’ word. See you next weekend.”

Back at her place Cindy picked up a bit and did some simple cleaning. It was also the opportunity for her to tidy up the kids’ rooms while they watched TV. While she was busy her mother called.

“How are you doing?”

“Maybe a little better, Mama. I’ve made a complete ass out of myself a couple of weeks ago and I’m so embarrassed.”

“Oh? What happened?”

“You know Roger, the guy across the street? Anyway, we’ve become good friends and I could see us getting closer, well, maybe. So, anyway, it turns out he went on a date two weeks ago and I was so upset that I confronted him in his front yard.”

“Oh, Cindy, you didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did. And I had no right to. He was upset and I don’t blame him. He basically told me it was none of my business, which it wasn’t and he pretty much ignored me since then.”

“Honey, honestly, I can’t say I blame him.”

“I can’t either. I figured I had screwed it all up but then the kids started asking about him and…”

“And what?”

“I went over to apologize. Majorly. I told him, you know, I was totally wrong and I begged for forgiveness.”

“Did he?”

“Well, he explained what happened, told me it was a fairly casual thing and that he wasn’t ‘dating’ her.”

“It sounds like he might be ready to forgive you.”

“Yeah, I think so, but he kinda told me he would forgive me only if I went out with him.”

“Well, that’s blackmail, but you so totally deserve it.”

“Mama, he’s a nice guy, a really nice guy. The kids love him. So, if he blackmails me to get me to go out with him, then I will be a willing victim,” she laughed.

“And you’re OK with, you know, your feelings about Ted and dating and stuff?”

“Yeah, I think I am. At least I hope so. We’ll see.”

“Sure, Honey, and if I don’t have a chance to talk with you about it before then, have a good time. And tell him your mother chewed you out for the way you treated him.”

“I will, Mama. Thanks for everything.”

—–

As she got ready the following Friday, she looked at herself in the mirror. She was reasonably pleased with what she saw. Her boobs were fairly nice and in spite of two kids and breastfeeding, they maintained their shape reasonably well. Her tummy wasn’t quite as flat as she wanted, thanks again to the kids, but all in all she was pleased with her figure. A few stretch marks were faintly visible, but, oh well, she had to live with them.

She pulled out a slinky, dark blue dress which hugged every curve. It was backless and had a plunging neckline, so there would be no bra. She found a tiny thong, something she hadn’t worn in years and pulled it up over her newly shaved legs and trimmed bush. Once she was dressed and her hair was done, she looked at the final product. “Not bad for an old widow lady,” she chuckled.

Roger was far more positive. “Whoa, you’re absolutely stunning tonight,” he said as he gave her a tiny hug and a quick kiss. “Very nice. How about some nice French food at Chez Lyon?”

“Oh, Rog, that’s too expensive.”

“It’s worth it. Let’s enjoy. It shouldn’t be crowded and we can take our time. There’s no good movie on tonight, anyway.”

“OK, then I’m all yours,” she said, then giggled a bit when she saw him raise an eyebrow at realized she had said. The drive there was pleasant, the valet took the keys and they were escorted to their seats. As they walked, Cindy was vaguely aware people were staring at them, at her.

“You OK?” he asked as they sat down.

“People were staring when we came in.”

“I don’t blame them. You look fabulous tonight.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Oh, I am serious. Listen. I have a theory about the attractiveness of women.”

“Do tell. I wanna hear what lame ideas you have,” she teased.

“OK. We all know young women in their late teens and early twenties can be very attractive, you know, even hot. Guys like to look at them. But, for real beauty there is nothing better than a woman in her thirties or forties.”

“You’re just saying that ’cause you know I’m in my thirties.”

“No, seriously. Beauty is more than tits and ass, pardon me for being too crude. Take a nice looking female and give her the self-assuredness, sexual maturity and life experiences of an extra decade or so, well then you get true beauty. And you, tonight, are that woman.”

As a few tears slid down her cheeks, there was a pause before she answered “Thank you. You’re so sweet especially after the way I treated you so abysmally.”

“I’ve already forgotten about it. Never need to mention it again. So, let’s eat. Wine?”

They agreed on a bottle of wine and decided to share their entrees. Desert was a wonderful Far Breton dripping with rum. It wasn’t late when they left and so Roger drove around the city a bit, showed her his office and had her show him the senior center.

Back at her place he escorted her out of his car and to her door.

“Want your hug?”

“Yes, but first I wanted to ask you if you’d like to come in. I’ve got some decaf coffee…”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

Once inside, she went to the kitchen and fired up the espresso maker to make some decaf lattes. As she was standing there, she felt him come up behind her and reach around her waist. It felt so good to having the hug, but what felt absolutely great was the soft kiss the planted on her neck.

“Mmm, nice,” she whispered.

“You taste good, too.”

With his arms loosely around her waist she finished the drinks and carried them to the living room. There they sat a few feet apart on the sofa facing each other. Her hem crept up showing a fair bit of thigh and she was aware of him trying not to stare. It made her feel even more attractive than she felt in the restaurant so she ‘accidentally’ let the hem slide up further as she reached for her latte.

Their conversation was intimate and personal. She described how miserable she had been for months after Ted died but it was a comfortable talk and not a painful rehash of her misery. He told her about his marriage and how it fell apart due to his ex-wife not wanting children, though he did.

After coming to a pause in the conversation, she stood up and cleared the coffee mugs before sitting back down right next to him. He reached his arms around her as she went for a hug. Then came the kiss. It was divine. Soft, teasing, probing and then a bit more assertive. She found herself getting truly excited so she reached up and pulled one of his hands and brought it to her breast. He stopped the kiss for a second and murmured in her ear, “You sure?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

With the next kiss he teased her nipple before gently pulling the strap off her shoulder, exposing her breast. His kisses then drifted down her neck and across her chest. “My breast, he’s going for my breast!” her mind sang. For the first time in years, lips and a tongue teased her, sucked her, licked her. It felt soooo good!

Eventually she pulled him gently up and kissed him on his lips. “Was nice,” she murmured, “Very nice.”

“I’m glad,” he replied quietly.

“Uh, Roger, I kinda need to use the bathroom. Stay right here, don’t you move, OK?”

“You sure? I don’t want you to…”

“Yes, I’m sure. I haven’t felt this desirable in ages and I’m not done with you yet,” she giggled as she stood up and went to the bathroom. Once she was finished there she glanced into the bedroom and saw Ted’s picture on her nightstand. Without thinking, without planning and almost without conscious thought she walked over and turned the picture face down before returning to the living room.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Yes, but I think I could feel a bit better still if we took up where we were a few minutes ago,” she replied as she straddled his legs and sat down on his lap facing him. They began to kiss and hug again but he didn’t reach for her breast. Frustrated a tiny bit she reached up and pulled both straps on her dress down her arms, exposing her breasts to him.

Roger looked at her in the eyes before he let his eyes glance down. He saw two beautiful breasts, full with a slight sag. He looked back up to her face to see a slight smile and a bit of humor in her eyes. “You like?”

“You know I do. But are you sure?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“You’re not doing this because of what happened?”

“Uh-uh.”

After a few seconds she went on, “You are more than welcome to feel as well as look.”

Roger let his hands rise up from her waist and gently started to stroke her nipples to Cindy’s obvious delight. Her eyes closed and her head drifted back as she let a tiny moan escape from her lips. Then she felt his lips on her again. It felt as good as earlier, even better as he played with one nipple while he kissed and sucked the other. Her breath started to come in little gasps as he continued his assault on her nipples until she realized she was headed for an orgasm. She grabbed his head and pulled him to her as she started to rise up more and more until she finally climaxed. Her whole body shook as sensations of pleasure and warmth ripped through her and she moaned over and over, “Oh, my god, oh, my god…”

Eventually she relaxed and shivered a tiny bit and started to giggle. He turned up to her and asked, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You just now made me feel so good I wanted to laugh. Better than crying. Right?”

“Right. Uh…,” he said, not knowing what to say next.

“You probably are wanting to know where things are going from here, right?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.”

She stood up and let her dress fall to the floor. “Things are going to my bedroom, that is if you’re interested,” she said as she took his hand and gently pulled him towards the hallway.

“You sure?”

“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. Please come with me.”

In a few seconds they were in the bedroom. She stood there wearing nothing but her thong as she kissed him and reminded him he had too many clothes on. Once she had pulled them all off, she grabbed his hand and teasingly pulled him down onto the bed.

“This bed, she giggled, “Is a virgin bed. No one has ever made love in it. Well, not counting my sexual solitaire, that is. Care to pop it’s cherry?”

“I don’t care about the bed, but I do care about you. Let’s see, uh, a bit of housekeeping. I’m clean but I’m not firing blanks.”

“OK, I’m clean also. Let me get my diaphragm and jelly. They should still be good. Excuse me a few seconds.” In the bathroom she rummaged around in a drawer and found a diaphragm still in its cellophane wrapping. And the jelly had an expiration date which was only a few months out of date. She quickly prepared herself and went back to the bedroom.

“All good.”

“Oh, God, Cindy, you are absolutely beautiful. This is what I meant about women in their thirties. You are proud, self-assured and know what you want…just sexy as hell.”

“Well at least I am putting on a good act. I’m still pretty nervous.”

“We can stop at any time.”

“Don’t you dare. I’ve come this far and I want to go all the way with you,” she said as she reached him and gave him a big kiss and stroked his cock lightly. Suddenly he pushed her slightly to the bed where she fell back laughing. “My, my, you gonna force me, mister?”

“Nope, I’m gonna make you beg for it,” he responded as he knelt by the bed and pulled her toward him. After a few tentative kisses on her thighs he dove right in. His tongue and lips teased, caressed, licked and sucked until she was moaning and moaning, pulling his head tight to her sweet spot. Then it happened, another orgasm that made the previous one seem like a tiny blip. This time her body tensed, her torso flushed, her face grimaced as she called out when waves of pleasure coursed through her body. Finally, those wonderful sensations subsided and she began to relax and take slow, easy breaths. She shook her head and murmured, “Wow. Simply wow.”

“Glad you liked it.”

“Like is too small a word, more like ‘loved’ it. But now that I’m done, what about you?”

“What about me? You have any ideas?”

“I do. Here, lie down, I wanna be on top. OK?”

“Absolutely,” he replied as he crawled up onto the bed. He stretched out while she grabbed his cock and rubbed it a few times to firm it up even more. Then she raised up on her knees, teased her opening with the knob and let herself down on him. It had been so long that as she felt him stretching her, it was a tiny bit too tight. It took several strokes for her to loosen up until it was comfortable. Fortunately, her moisture was copious and eased the slight discomfort quickly.

She rose up and down savoring the sensation of a cock inside her, pulling on her clit and brushing her cervix. All of these sensations stimulated her yet again until she found herself racing to yet another orgasm. As she began moaning, she sensed his hands around her pelvis pulling her down with each stroke and releasing her as she rose. He started to groan with her and suddenly she tipped forward a tiny bit to drive her clit onto his pubic bone. That was all it took and she climaxed again as she felt him thrusting himself into her, groaning in unison with each thrust.

A minute or so later they lay there with her on top and him lightly stroking her back. She leaned back and dropped down for a tender kiss which conveyed so much passion and gratitude.

“You OK?” he asked.

“Yeah. Great, even,” she giggled.

“Yeah, me too. Was nice, very nice.”

“Umm-hmm.” A few seconds later she asked, “Stay with me?”

“I’d love to. You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m to pick up the kids at noon, so no worries on my end.”

“Then I’d be honored to stay.”

They snuggled some more until their eyes grew heavy with fatigue and they slowly slipped into sleep with arms around each other.

In the morning she woke up with his erection poking into her buttocks. She knew he was still asleep so she gently slipped out of bed, went to the bathroom and came back. He had a nice cock, not huge but certainly big enough. She leaned over him and licked around his mushroom. She could feel it pulsate and bounce slightly as she licked more and finally, she took it entirely into her mouth.

“Whoa? What are you doing?”

“Oh, Good morning. I thought I’d grab a bite to eat and here it was,” she snickered. “Like?”

“You gotta be kidding. Like? No, I love it,” he said as his head hit the pillow. She continued to lick and suck the head while she rubbed the shaft up and down to his obvious delight. She could tell he was getting more and more excited when he patted her on the head. “I’m about to…”

“Uh-huh,” she said, pulling off him for a second before dropping back and continuing the hummer. She did everything she could to give him pleasure and suddenly he groaned, his torso twisted as he came, spurting into her mouth. As he gained his breath, he rubbed her shoulders and gently pulled her up to him.

“Wow. That was phenomenal. Thanks. What a way to wake up.” A few minutes later he asked, “Uh, what about you?”

“Honey, that was for you. You were so good to me last night that I wanted to return the favor. But I’m good for now. Some other time, OK? Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” he replied as she walked seductively towards the door. He hopped up, went to the bathroom and crawled back into bed. As he lay there, he looked over to see the picture turned down on the nightstand. Curious, he turned it over and looked at the image of Ted, at least he assumed it was Ted. He saw a handsome young man with an attractive smile. As he looked at it, he sensed Cindy had come back and looked up to see her startled face.

“Oh, my god, Roger, I’m so sorry! Here let me…”

“Cindy, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Ted was the love of your life and just because you and I were together last night doesn’t change that fact. He looks like a nice guy.”

“He was and I still miss him. Please don’t get me wrong. I had a good time last night, a wonderful time, even. And I would like an option to repeat. But I’m so embarrassed that you saw this…”

“Look, Cindy,” he said somewhat forcefully, “It’s fine. I’m fine. OK? Don’t worry about it. Actually,” he chuckled, “I’m kinda honored that you’d invite me to your bed knowing what a fine-looking guy he was.”

“So, you’re not upset?”

“No, why would I be? Hey, we had a nice time last night. And I hope we can do this again soon. But I’m not going to replace Ted. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I could hold a spot in your heart next to him, but I don’t ever want to replace him. I don’t want you to ever forget him. OK?”

After a few seconds she sighed, “It sounds like you could be serious about me.”

“Yes, I’m serious. I’ve known you months now and I’ve enjoyed each and every time we’ve been together, well, except for that one little episode. Look, let’s have breakfast. If it’s OK with you, I’d like a shower, then we can talk a bit more.”

“Alright, good idea. Eggs and toast OK with you?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Do you have an extra towel?”

After a quick shower he dressed and they ate their breakfast before he helped her clean up in the kitchen. As he washed, she dried and put things away. They talked and kissed some more and hugged a lot more.

“Honey,” she said, “I’d like to do this again, but I want to make one thing absolutely clear. The kids are my biggest responsibility and I don’t want them hurt at all. So, if we’re going to do this anymore, it will have to be when they are not around. No sleeping over when they’re here. Not at all. Understand?”

“Definitely. And I agree, by the way.”

“Good. I’ll need to go get them now. Here, one more kiss for the road. And thank you for a lovely night.”

“The pleasure was all mine. Take care,” he whispered in her ear as he gave her one final hug and turned to the door.

That evening after the kids were sleeping, she stretched out in her bed. She could still faintly smell Roger’s cologne on the sheets as she thought about her time with him. He was a wonderful lover, even for it being their first time together. But she fought the temptation to compare him to Ted. They were different men and they had different styles. But her mind kept going back to Ted and how she still missed him. As she thought about Ted she reached over and picked up the photo on her nightstand. She held it in her hands and began to talk.

“Ted, Honey, oh God how I miss you! I still do after three years. And I would give anything to have you back. But, Honey, you’ll never come back and I need to move on. I think I’m finally ready. Ted, there’s a nice man across the street and I’ve been with him, no, let me be honest, I’ve had sex with him. I still feel a little guilty about it, Honey, but I have to move on.

“I know how much you loved Mandy and Chris. The nice thing about Roger, yeah, that’s his name, well, anyway, the nice thing about him is he adores our kids. He’s a great father figure for them. He talks to them, tells them stories, teaches them, like they were his kids. And if I stay with Roger, I could see them calling him ‘Daddy’ or something like that. It might hurt me a tiny bit when they do, but they need a father. But I want you to know I would never, ever let them forget that their father was a fine and loving man.

“Good night, Ted. I love you so much,” she whispered as she kissed the picture before putting it back on the table.

—–

Over the next several weeks Roger became much more of a presence in Cindy and the kid’s lives. The four had dinner at least twice a week, sometimes at his place and sometimes at hers. The children seemed happy when he was with them and they would pepper him with questions and demand a bedtime story regularly. He even brought a few books from the library that were interesting and challenging. One of them was called Katie’s Mommies and Daddies. He tried to read it to first to Chris but he fell asleep right after Roger started. Later he read it to Mandy while Cindy stood outside the child’s bedroom and listened to him read and answer her questions.

“Roger,” asked Mandy, “Why did her mommy and daddy not live together anymore?”

“Well, sometimes a lady and a man are married, they have children and then later they decide they don’t want to live together anymore.”

“But don’t you have to love someone to get married?”

“Usually people love each other, but sometimes that love goes away. Then they stop living together.”

“Why does she have two mommies and two daddies?”

“Well, after they no longer lived together her mommy found a new man to love and he became a new daddy. And her daddy found a new lady and she became a new mommy.”

There was a long pause. Then came the question that had worried Cindy: “My daddy is in heaven. Can I get a new daddy, too?”

“If your mommy finds a man and if she loves him, then they could get married and he would be a new daddy. But your first daddy in heaven would still look over you and would still love you.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. A few seconds later she asked, “What about you? Will you be a new daddy for us?”

Cindy held her breath and waited for the answer. “It is too soon to decide that. Your mommy and I are good friends…”

“But Chris and I like you,” she interrupted. “Don’t you like Mommy?”

“Yes, very much. But I like a lot of people. To get married and to be a new daddy means I have to love someone and…”

“Don’t you love Mommy?”

“Your mommy is very special to me. I like her a lot. Maybe someday I will love her.”

“I hope you do, ’cause if you do, then me and Chris would get a new daddy!”

“‘Chris and I’. You say ‘Chris and I’.”

“Oops, that’s what my teacher said. I forgot.”

“OK, Kiddo, it’s time to go to sleep. I’ll send Mommy in to tuck you in.”

“No, you do it, please.”

“Sure, lights out, hug Teddy and pull up the sheet. Now, good night. Sleep tight.”

“Thank you, Roger,” she murmured as she snuggled down onto her pillow.

As he left the room, he ran into Cindy eavesdropping outside the door. “You handled that very well,” she whispered as they went to the living room. Once there she looked him in the eye and asked, “So, I am very special to you, huh?”

“Yes, you are.”

“And someday you might love me?”

He paused a few, long seconds staring at the floor before he sheepishly nodded before looking her right at her. “Yeah, I, uh…yeah. I could see that happening.”

“Oh, Roger,” she exclaimed as she grabbed him for a big hug, “I could see that happening, too.” She then reached up and gave him a wonderful, deep and loving kiss. “Do you want to read me a bedtime story?” she giggled.

“Nope. You’ve been a bad girl, sneaking around and listening to private conversations. No bedtime story for you.”

“Awww…”

“Maybe you need a spanking, huh?”

“Oooh. Promises, promises,” she giggled again. “Oh, don’t look so shocked. I might like to spice things up now and then.”

“Whoa. I’ve got one female asking if I love you and the other asking me to spank you,” he laughed. “I’m getting confused here, so I better go home.”

“OK, you do that. But give me another kiss first, then I’ll let you go.”

—–

Cindy’s parents had the kids over for the night twice weekly giving Cindy and Roger more time to themselves. And they snuck in an afternoon quickie when the kids were both at school. Roger did smack her on the ass a few times one afternoon and Cindy turned wild in her response, but she later told him it was not to be done routinely.

She invited him over to meet her parents and they seemed to like him. Cindy’s dad and Roger spent time talking about tools and workshops while the women finished dinner in her kitchen. The kids were well behaved and clearly happy and comfortable with Roger. Right before her parents left, her mom whispered in Cindy’s ear, “We like him. I’ll give you a call.”

The next afternoon the call came.

“Hi, Mama, somehow I knew you’d be calling.”

“Yes, Cindy, I wanted to tell you our impressions of Roger. He seems like a nice guy. And Chris and Mandy seem so comfortable with him.”

“He is, and they are.”

“Have you dated anyone else?”

“Uh, no. Should I?”

“I don’t know if ‘should’ is the right term. Months ago, you were distraught and thought you’d never get over Ted. Now you’re with the first man who came along. Are you sure about him?”

“Mama, he hasn’t asked me to marry him. We’re just getting to know each other, dating, you know…”

“What if he does? What will you say?”

“I know what you’re thinking. You think I’m being too rash. But he’s a sweet guy, a good guy. He respects me. I had that bad episode with him and he understood the problem and forgave me. And he loves the kids. He spends so much time with them. He teaches them, reads to them, plays with them. I can’t imagine another man acting around them as nicely as he does.”

“But do you love him?”

There was a big, long pause before she answered, “Yeah, I do. I never thought I’d say that again. Mama, he’s not Ted, but he is, in his own way, a very special guy. So, yeah, I do.”

“Then that’s what counts. You can now ignore your meddling mother. You see, no matter how old a girl gets, a mother never wants to see her child hurt.”

“He’s never done anything to hurt me, Mama. Never.”

“Good. Uh, I gather the sex is good?”

“Mama! You have a lot of nerve!”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. How about we have the kids over Saturday night so you can practice some more'” she laughed.

“I appreciate it, thanks.”

“Just bring them by anytime after two pm. That way you’ll get the whole afternoon and night together and have time to change the sheets in the morning!”

“Mama!”

—–

The following Saturday was a wonderful time of sensual exploring between the two. They gave each other back massages on the living room floor with her rubbing him first. When it was her turn, he massaged her back until she ‘felt like Jello’ before he let his hand slide down between her cheeks. He stroked lower and lower until he could feel her moisture soaking his fingertips. He slid his first two finger inside rubbing her G-spot, while his thumb rode over her clit. This unexpected approach sent her into a spasm of ecstasy ripping through her entire body. After she recovered, she pushed him over onto his back, yanked down his boxers and rode him like a wild woman, driving herself further into orgasmic bliss.

“And it’s only four pm,” she giggled a few minutes later. “What do you have in store for tonight?”

“Dinner at seven, then back here for more, if that’s OK with you.”

“Yes, Roger, that’d be nice,” she said with sudden seriousness. “I enjoy our closeness, you know.”

“Yeah, me too. Uh, you know, I could see us closer, uh, officially, in the future. You?”

After a few second pause she smiled and said, “Yes, I could too and I think I’d like that. But you know, the kids have to agree also. I’ve told you it’s a package deal.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The next evening when the kids were in bed and Roger was gone, Cindy tidied up and went to bed. She picked up Ted’s picture and had another “conversation” with him.

“Hi, Honey. I still miss you. You have no idea. But there’s something I have to tell you. I think Roger is getting very serious about me, about us. And I can see myself marrying him. You probably want to know if I love him, and to be honest, I do. Sweetheart, I still love you. Roger can never erase you from my heart and memory, but I know I can have him in my life and still keep you close to me.

“You should be proud of me, Honey. Here I am talking to you and I haven’t shed a single tear. That means I’m better and though I still get little twinges of guilt when I’m with him, I need to move on. I’m going to keep talking to you for as long as I live, but I hope you understand I’ll talk to you about Roger sometimes. He’s a good guy and I know he loves our kids. I’ll be very happy if he ever asks me to marry him. He won’t replace you, Ted, he’ll be next to you in my heart. Good night. I love you.”

—–

It was Halloween again. The kids were as excited as the year prior. In keeping with her plan to have them help with any costumes, she insisted the kids help make them. Mandy decided to go as a ballet dancer. She used a bathing suit and tied some mesh loosely around her waist for the tutu. Cindy then let her use some facial blush and a tiny bit of lipstick. Chris wanted to be a cowboy which required a cowboy hat which they found at a thrift store. He wore his jeans, a button-down shirt and his rubber galoshes for boots.

The two demanded Cindy go as a princess again. She pulled out the old bridesmaid dress and the head ornament to wear around the neighborhood. Once they left the house and at his request, they visited Roger first. They were all astounded when Roger opened the door wearing a tuxedo with a deep red cummerbund.

“My Lady, Miss Mandy and Master Chris,” he said as he bowed deeply to them. “May I accompany you on your sojourn this fair evening?”

Cindy smiled as the kids giggled and laughed.

Roger went on, “If you would allow me, I would prefer to escort this fine family through the streets of this borough while you extort candy in return for the promise of not creating mischief upon the local citizens.”

“What did he say?” asked Chris.

“Honey, that is fancy talk for him just wanting to go with us trick-or-treating. Do you want him to go with us?”

“Yes, yes,” the two shouted, so he turned and locked the door and escorted Cindy, her hand on his forearm, down the street behind the children. At each house the children pointed out the two adults who usually stayed closer to the curb. The older lady, who Cindy would visit occasionally, was very pleasant and talkative. “Who is the man with your mommy?”

“That’s not our mommy, that’s a Princess. And Roger is helping her tonight.”

“Well, he is a most handsome man. Be nice to him, you hear? Oh, and here’s some candy for you. Happy Halloween, you two,” she said as she closed the door.

When they got home, Roger asked to come inside for ‘just a few minutes.’ He helped the children organize their candy as Cindy made some hot apple cider. Once they all had their cider, Roger put on his funny accent again. “I wish to propose a toast to the lady of this palace and to her wonderful offspring. To Chris, the man of the house. To Mandy, the beauty of the next generation. And to Cindy, the lady of the palace whose fair beauty makes men’s hearts palpitate, whose laugh makes all smile, whose personage has stolen my heart and made me fall in love. Cheers!”

They all shouted ‘cheers’ in response before Roger turned to the children. “Have a seat here, leave room for your mommy in the middle. I have something else I wish to say, or, more importantly, wish to ask.”

“What is it? What is it?” the kids squealed.

“OK. Here is the rule. I ask a question and you answer it all by yourself. No asking anyone else what you should say, OK?”

“OK.”

“First, we go with the man of the house. Chris, would you like to us to all be one family?”

Chris was a bit confused. He turned to look at Cindy who smiled at him.

“Uh, yeah!” grinned Chris.

“Mandy, how about you? Would you like us to be one family?”

“Yes, Roger, yes!” she cried as she jumped and gave him a big hug.

“Wait a sec, Mandy. I have to ask the princess.” He then turned to Cindy who was smiling as big tears of happiness slid down her cheeks. “Cindy, would you allow me to join your family and give me the honor of being your husband?”

“Yes, yes, of course I will. All of us will,” she said as he pulled out a beautiful ring with emeralds surrounding a solitaire diamond. He slipped it on her ring finger before giving her a wonderful, loving kiss.

“Eeeewww, Mommy, get a room!”

“Young lady, he’s my fiancé and I get to kiss him. And just where’d you learn to talk like that, anyway?” she laughed.

—–

That night she held Ted’s picture once again after she crawled into bed. “Ted, I have some pretty big news for you. Roger, you know, the man across the street, well, I’ve fallen for him. I know it’s only been a short while but I love him. I do. And he loves me, too. Tonight, he asked me to marry him and I said ‘yes.’ Sweetheart, I hope you understand. He’s so good for me and the kids. He’ll be a great daddy for them. And he’s great for me in so many ways. Honey, I don’t know where we’ll end up living, but I’d like to get a new place for the new family. Is that OK with you? I hope so. And Ted, I have one more, little bit of news. I have to move your picture out of the bedroom, OK? I’m going to put it on the mantle. I want the kids to always have a reminder of their father. And, Honey, please know I’ll never forget you and I’ll never stop loving you,” she whispered as she softly kissed the picture.