A short one here. Not meant to be serious, and not very realistic. Just a mindless fantasy to let you escape reality for a brief period of time. There is no sex in this story. Cuck fans, swipe left. Caution, Burning Bitches ahead.
“Nathan. Where are you? We need to talk.” My wife called out as she came through the front door. I could hear that she was not alone. She knew I was home, because my car was sitting in the driveway.
“I’m upstairs. I’ll be down in a minute.” I called out as I was shutting the suitcase laying on the bed.
“What are you doing home already?” She asked as she walked into the bedroom. “And why are you packing a suitcase?”
“Oh. I had a call from a prospective client. It’s kind of a rush issue, so I left work to pack. I need to catch my flight in a couple of hours. Sorry for not telling you, but the opportunity just came up. I need to strike quickly before it’s too late.”
“Oh. OK. Anyway, I hope you have a few minutes because I really need to talk to you.”
“Sure. No problem. I have a little time.” I replied, picking up my suitcase and following behind her.
We went into the kitchen to sit at the table. Sure enough, there was another guy there. I recognized him. It was Dave Knowlton, one of the lawyers at the firm she worked for. I grabbed a cup of coffee that I had brewed about half an hour ago and sat down.
“Well, Nathan. There’s really no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. Dave and I have fallen in love. I don’t love you anymore, and I want a divorce. We have already filed the paperwork, and here is your copy.”
“OK. Well, I can’t really fight that. If it’s over between us, then it’s over. Do you mind if I take a look at this? It’s better to just get things over with quickly. Depending on how this trip goes, I might not have much time for the next few months to deal with this. Maybe Dave should have a notary come over so we can just wrap everything up before I leave.”
“Wow, Nathan. You are being very mature about this. I was expecting a big argument. I’m sorry to have hit you from left field on this, but it’s best to just get it over with and move on.”
“Well, from what you said, trying to fight it would be futile. So, let’s see what we have here. Hmmm.” I took a few minutes to review the division of assets.
“OK, I see one change that I would like. On spousal support, I’m curious about that. You actually have a decent job. Why are you asking for $2,000 a month?”
“Well, we looked that up and did the math on that. You actually make about four times what I make, so the formula that the court uses comes up with that amount.”
“OK. The only issue I see with that is that things in my company are about to change significantly, and I really don’t want to have to go back to court to renegotiate this. How about if we just change it to a fair percentage of my income. Let’s do a simple 25%. That actually give you more, based on my last paycheck, and it will automatically adjust as my pay changes.”
“Oh wow. That’s very generous of you and good thinking. OK, Dave will change that, and we will all initial it.”
“Well, you have given me a great 10-years, so there is no reason not to be fair. Now, about asking for 60% of the business. You really know nothing about running it. I don’t want to lose control over it, so how about you just get 49%. In reality, I am the driving force behind it. In fact, to make up for that, we can change the division on the investments from you getting 60% to you getting 80% of all current investments. After all, I can always rebuild what I am losing.”
“OK, I guess that will work. As long as I can keep the house. I love this house.”
“I can work with that. In fact, I will be working so much that I won’t have time to go to the beach house. I’m not really a beach person anyway. Tell you what, lets change the wording on this to say that I will sign over my share of all the properties that we own now. I’ll probably just buy a condo somewhere anyway. Less maintenance on that.”
“Nathan, I can’t believe how generous you are being.”
“Well, as I mentioned, I will be too busy to really enjoy the properties, and I can make enough money to rebuild my portfolio.”
“OK, now for child support. Personally, I think you are a little low here, and there is no provision to escalate it as my income increases. After all, I want MY kids to be well taken care of. Let’s change this to say that 25% of all my income in this country goes for child support. That way, it not only covers my income from work, but it will also cover any other income from my investments here. Also, since you will be the custodial parent, they should really be on your insurance.”
“OK. That sounds reasonable. I’ll have David log onto the Wi-Fi and print out the new documents. We can sign and notarize them, then David can take them down to get filed. Thank you, Nathan. You have been very mature about this. I appreciate it.”
The documents were printed, the notary arrived, and we signed the papers. I picked up my suitcase and left for the airport.
[“You’re Cheatin’ Heart, Will Tell on You…. Ringtone]
It was a one month later. My ringtone woke me from dozing on the beach in Cabo. I didn’t even need to check caller ID to know who it was.
“Hello Anna. To what do I ow the pleasure of this call. Was I not generous enough?”
“YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT, BUT YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS SHIT!” Good thing I answered it on speaker instead of holding the phone to my ear.
“Why, whatever do you mean, Dear?”
“You know goddamned good and well what I mean! There’s a fucking moving truck sitting in front of the fucking house, and a deputy sheriff is here with eviction papers!”
“Well, I would imagine that the owners of the house would need for you and your boyfriend to move out before they can move in.”
“You signed the house over to me! What do you mean by the new owners? I am the owner.”
“Well, that isn’t technically true. What I signed over to you was all property that we owned at the time of the divorce papers being signed. We hadn’t actually owned any property for over three months before you gave me those divorce papers. Since your name was not on the deeds, I didn’t even need your signature to sell them.”
“You mean the Beach House too?”
“I told you that I wasn’t really much of a beach person.”
“You Bastard. Where the fuck are you anyway? I need to meet with you to discuss signing the paperwork so I can take ownership of my share of the company.”
“Yeeaaaahhhhh, about that.”
“You didn’t!”
“About six-months ago. I was just managing it for the new owners on salary until they got up to speed. In fact, I completely stopped working there a week before our last talk.
“Then, that also means….”
“No salary, no maintenance.”
“But what about the kids? You said that you wanted to take care of the kids.”
“No. What I said is that I wanted to take care of MY kids. Since I am not the biological father to either of them, I have no interest in taking care of them. Perhaps you should talk to Chris and Jerry about supporting their kids. DNA is a wonderful thing.”
“Well, at least I have the savings and invest…….” She stopped talking when I could no longer hold in the laughter.
“Let me guess.” She groaned. “That’s all gone too.”
“I transferred all of that to the offshore account I set up as soon as I sold the business. Good luck finding any of it.”
“We’ll see what the court says about that.”
“Good luck with that. I gave you everything exactly as it was outlined in the documents you signed and had notarized. You got 49% of all the businesses I owned at the time we signed the papers. You got all the property we owned at the time we signed the papers. You got your chunk of my income at the time we signed. The child support is exactly 20% of my income IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Just because you never checked to see if I still owned a business, or any property, or actually had any income at that time isn’t on me. I never actually said that there was any of that. You are getting exactly what you deserve.”
“What do you mean? I supported you and was your wife for 10-years. I deserve more than nothing!”
“Seriously? You’ve been cheating on me for at least the last five years. As soon as I left, you moved your latest conquest in. You’re a cheating slut, and you don’t deserve squat. Oh, and I filed a suit against your company too. I found out that they have a little morality clause in their employee handbook that prohibits adulterous relationships between coworkers. The videos I sent showing you two fucking in the conference room should ensure that you are both fired as well. Besides, the Ethics Committee is investigating him because the somehow got a bunch of evidence that he was in a sexual relationship with a client as he was representing her. I understand that he could get disbarred because of that. That would really suck, because that would mean he couldn’t simply move to another law firm or even open his own firm after he gets fired.”
“Fuck! I need to call David.”
“Don’t bother. He won’t answer.”
“What do you mean?”
“I am led to understand that he was the victim of a rather violent mugging. He’s probably in an ambulance being transported to Mercy General right now. It might be time for you to find a new boyfriend.”
“OH. MY. GOD!”
“Nope. Not even close. Although the Latina beauty laying next to me right now says the same thing, but it’s usually cried out while we are both naked.”
The call ended shortly after that. My Latina beauty woke from her nap and decided that we needed to go back into the enclosed cabana where we could wear less clothing. I had given her this trip for keeping me informed on the status of my wife’s activities. She had called me earlier that day to let me know that the papers had been filed, and they were going to ambush me that evening. She left the law firm right afterwards and went home to pack. We met at the airport and flew to Cabo together. In another two days, it was off to Costa Rica, where there is a large expat community, and you can live like a king cheaply.