“Our culture needs a wake-up call. What can the young aspire to if we don’t show them that aging is not a prison sentence? Just because I’ve had a lot of birthdays doesn’t mean my libido died. Wrinkles and gravity do not erase the person, they accentuate!”
– (Price, Joan. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty)
I walked naked into the African bush…
To get away from the temptations of Rita and Koos, I rushed out without thinking. My emotions were in such a turmoil that I didn’t even bother to dress or put on my boots. I just walked into the afternoon sun. After about fifteen minutes I became aware of my own nudity, of my breasts gently moving with the rhythm of my steps. My nipples pointed into the wind, aroused and hard. My upper thighs swishing against each other, sweat lubricating the movements. I tried not to focus on my throbbing pussy. It seemed as if I had a long way to go before I could make peace with own genitals. My only awareness was where I planted my bare feet. My training in wilderness bushcraft subconsciously directed my feet away from danger.
After a while my emotions settled, and my monkey mind chatter took over. My mind tried to make sense of what I have just experienced (see Blasphemy Awakening) while my emotional turmoil managed to push my body forward onto unknown paths. Ever since I arrived at the game ranch, I’ve managed to suppress my sexual desires and dedicate every waking hour to my work and training as a game ranger/manager. My approaching birthday, the big five O, threw my resolve for a loop. Licking Rita’s pussy and sucking Kosie shook my nearly fifty-year-old life with limited sexual experience to the core. How could I have done such a despicable thing? Remembering Rita’s tongue on my clit and my amateurish exploration of her pussy sent lubrications back to my pussy. How could I ever forget my first touch of delectable pussies that what was up until recently a taboo? I would never forget my hand around Koos’ dick, his throbbing cock sending pleasure up my arm.
Forcing these erotic images from my mind, I stopped to take stock of my surroundings. Looking around me, I saw the devastation of a terrible drought and with the raining season over, with no prospect of rain, nature was groaning. It was as if nature also felt neglected and dried up her erotic desires. I was blind and deaf to Her cries and only now when I became aware of my responsibilities, I saw Her pain. Big businesses were more concerned about profit and quarterly reports than the state of the planet. Most Christians were more anxious about their souls than about the environment.
Years of anti-sexual indoctrination prevented me from seeing this truth. Maybe I can do…
Suddenly, a few meters to my left, a crested korhaan flew up in the air, summersaulting backwards to land gracefully to impress a female korhaan. It scared the crap out of me and brought my attention back to my own predicament.
I was still naked, the mid-afternoon sun on my left. I have been walking in a northerly direction for about an hour. (In the southern hemisphere, the path of the sun across the sky is anti-clockwise, right to left, east to west.) Before I could take another step, I heard the unmistakable pffffftt warning sound of a puff adder, one of Africa’s deadliest snakes. This cytotoxic snake, although sluggish, can strike quickly and with accuracy. Hidden amongst dry leaves and dry grass laid the well camouflaged snake with its triangular shaped head. It was busy shedding its skin. That saved me from a nasty bite and opened my eyes to the reality I’ve experienced.
Since Petra showed me her tattoo my life took a backward tumble, divorcing me from my comfortable theological world, and depositing me back to Eden. Unlike Eve, when confronted with the snake, I didn’t read the snake as a temptation, but as an invitation to a new life. Mythologically, the snake is a symbol of regeneration, of new life. Adam and Eve were kicked out of nature, while I returned to find myself. Hopefully.
Most people, me included, saw people in their fifties as nonsexual beings, devoid of any sexual desires. I found myself at fifty awakening to the pleasures of the flesh. I wanted to cry thinking of all the opportunities I missed, chances I rejected, living like a nun, ignoring the cries of my body.
When I turned around to go back Rita and Koos, I saw the lodge from a different angle. The swimming pool, surrounded by a few trees, looked like an open vulva, the buildings behind it formed the torso and the two hills at the back completed the female shape. This was the final image I needed to convince me of my new path. My years of taking care of my body with yoga, jogging and spending time in the gym served me well on my return jog to the lodge.
As I rushed into the pool area, I saw a dressed Koos and Rita, sitting around the bar, sipping red wine.
“Thank you for showing me the way,” I said, a little out of breath, but happy with my decision.
“Take a seat,” said Koos, as Rita poured a glass of Merlot and pushed it in my direction. I sat on the bar stool between them.
“The lodge looks like a slut with her open legs…” I continued.
“Why didn’t you tell us who you really are?” asked Rita, concern and disappointment clouding her beautiful face.
“What do you mean?”
“We talked to your friend, our mutual acquaintance, to get more information about our lodge manager,” said Koos. “After we pushed him a little, he told us another story of who you are.”
“You shouldn’t believe everything he tells you.” I could feel blood of shame rushing to my face. I could no longer avoid the truth. “What did he say?”
“That you are not as dumb as you look or pretend to be,” said Rita. “And that you’ve rattled a lot of ivory towers and upset a few theological carts.”
“So?”
“What the fuck are you doing here, hiding away when people need to hear you voice?” asked Koos.
“Look at me,” I said. “A fifty-year old sitting naked between two clothed people without giving a fuck. That voice would never have done this. Up until I saw the lodge and what it represents, I was unsure of myself, of why I am here.” As I got off the bar stool, I pushed it out the away, stood in front of Rita and softly kissed her on her lovely lips. I took her right hand and placed it on my breast. I needed her blessings to continue on my path of exploring my sexuality. I wanted to know if I could love women and men intimately, and if I was still sexually attractive. I might go directly to Hell, but I wanted to go there on my terms. My right hand found Koos, or rather an aroused Kosie, beneath a layer of his pants. I pulled Koos off his stool, inviting him closer.
“Now show me what nonmonogamy means,” I said, as I felt Koos’ hand finding its way between my legs, cupping my vulva. When he inserted a finger into my wet pussy, I pushed my tongue between Rita’s lips. Once our connection was made, another bubble of my safe world exploded.
I had to see Rita naked again and quickly disposed of her clothes. When I stepped back to look at her beautiful breasts and her inviting mound, I bumped against a naked Koos, his dick finding its way between my legs. This was something I have never experienced, and it was bliss. My body, my pussy could still arouse a man.
“You want nonmonogamy, let’s start with Koos,” said Rita, as she moved us to the soft grass next to the pool. She dropped to her knees and took Kosie, Koos’ erection, into her hands. “Let’s give him a blowjob he’ll remember for a long time.”
My first feminist reaction was that I wouldn’t worship the phallus ever again, but when Rita took Kosie into her mouth, I saw Koos’ reaction. This wasn’t a worship of a dick but a celebration of pleasure. Rita was in charge; she took control of his pleasure and I sensed she also received pleasure from it. I quickly dropped next to Rita on the grass and fondled his balls. He was clean shaven with a little tuff above the root of his cock.
“Before I give you the pleasure of sucking Kosie, I want to kiss you first as a sign of my trust in you as a lover,” said Rita. Her soft kiss found my open mouth. As Koos pushed his cock between our lips, I realised the significance of the act. They invited me into their inner circle, into their lifestyle.
I wrapped my hand around his throbbing erection and looked at the smooth head hiding beneath the foreskin. A blue blood vein travelled from beneath the head alongside the shaft before disappearing in his groin. Johan, my ex-husband, never wanted me to touch or take a closer look at his penis. Now, another man’s wife gave me permission to inspect and pleasure her husband’s genitals. This was the second time in one day I had the pleasure of touching a man’s cock. This time I wanted to see it through, I wanted to feel him deep inside me. Fucking me.
Moving my hand up and down his cock, I felt the warmth of his desire flowing through his veins. I kissed the head again and tasted his precum, but this time I opened my mouth to welcome the head inside. I swirled my tongue around the smoothness, but when Koos wanted to push his cock deeper in my mouth, I nearly gagged and pulled away.
“Not so fast, lover boy,” I said. “No dick has ever gone deeper than this. Give me a chance to learn how to do it.” I got on all four and said: “Fuck me instead. Fuck me good.”
Koos, with the help of Rita, managed to get behind me, swiped his cock a few times through my wet slit, before he entered me.
“Fuck, your pussy is tight,” said Koos. I had to relax my pussy muscles and let go of guarding my secret garden to allow him access deeper into my inner sanctum. With every inch he moved deeper inside me, the farther he pushed my old self out of my life.
“Are you complaining, or is it a compliment?” Rita wanted to know.
“A huge fucking compliment,” answered Koos. “It has been a while since I found a pussy this tight.”
“I must say, it has been a while since I had anything inside me,” was my only response, shutting my eyes, remembering my sexless marriage. “It feels so great, I feel like a virgin again. Go on, fuck me good.”
When I opened my eyes again, Rita laid spread-eagled before me, her pussy invitingly alluring. I wasn’t going to wait for a written invitation. As I kissed her slightly swollen pussylips, a shiver ran down my spine to where Koos entered between my own lips. I opened my mouth slightly and pushed my tongue between her wet lips. The taste of her arousal and the touch of her soft thighs on my cheeks changed my understanding of the sacred. With every shove from Koos, my tongue entered deeper into the Holy of Holies. The curtain separating the Holy from the Holiest tore in two for me. For the first time in my life, I experienced the presence of Eros.
“Your pussy-eating technique is improving, my dear,” complimented Rita. “But you still have a long way to go. Keep on munching.”
Koos must’ve hit a hidden trigger because the next thing I knew, I started shaking. I couldn’t keep my mouth on Rita and after what seemed like an eternity my arms and legs gave way. I collapse in a heap on top of Rita.
“I’m cumming,” scream Koos behind me.
“Quick,” said Rita. “You haven’t lived unless a man shot his load on your tits and your girlfriend licks the cum off you.” She helped me up to kneel before Koos as he shot his seed on both our tits. Before the last shot, I grabbed his cock to taste the warm man juice into my mouth. I managed to swallow it. The taste shocked me at first, but after the second shot I enjoyed the taste of the forbidden.
Rita applauded my effort and kissed my open mouth to taste her husband’s cum on my tongue. “Now lick him from my tits,” demanded Rita. The whole scene before me changed the moment I licked Koos’ sperm from his wife’s tits. Everything arose in my awareness. It was if I was the licker and the licked. Then everything went black.
Koos must have carried me to my room because when I awoke, I was tucked safely in my bed. What happened to me? Why did I black out? Hopefully Rita would be able to shed some light on the situation. I quickly took a shower, dressed in a track suit and set off to find my lovers. They were waiting for me in the dining hall, with dinner waiting for me.
“You scared us,” said Rita. “Get some food in your body and then we’ll talk.”
“I am sorry I didn’t tell you about my past,” I said. “I was ashamed. My safe world collapsed forever when I licked my first pussy.”
“Welcome to the sisterhood,” said Rita, taking my hand in hers.
“It might be a bit too late for me, a fifty-year-old lady.”
“Who said you’re too old?” asked Koos. “Looking at your hot body got Kosie’s attention.”
“You are just being polite,” I said. “Any man would get an erection looking at two naked women”
“Stop belittling yourself,” said Rita. “You’ve taken the first steps to honour Pussy and that’s all takes.”
“I would never be able to go back,” I said, not fully understanding what Rita meant. “But I miss Petra so much. I would love to go back in time to correct my mistake.” I finished my dinner and took the last sip of the wine. “I’ll pack my bags tonight and leave in the morning.” I got up to leave.
“Where do you think you’re going?” asked Rita. “Your part of us now. We don’t kick out our lovers. Sit your ass down.”
“But the lodge is in financial trouble and you cannot afford to keep me on staff any longer.”
“That is why we want to propose something to you,” said Koos. “We want you to turn the lodge into a nudist/swinger’s resort.”
“Whaaattt?”
“You’re a certified project manager and this could be your great opportunity to use that knowledge to secure a future for us all.”
“I know nothing of nudism or swingers and what they need or how it will help the lodge.”
“A PM should be able to do research before presenting a project charter with all the necessary inputs, tools and techniques and the outputs,” added Rita. “Maybe Goddess will smile on you when you honour Pussy.”
“Are you sure you want me to do this?”
“Yes,” said Koos and Rita simultaneously.
“Then you can show people that a fifty-year-old can still rock their world,” said Rita as she kissed me.
“I will not disappoint you, I hope,” said I. I was grateful for the opportunity to stay on and finally shed my cocoon and become the butterfly I was destined to be.
Early the next morning, after I completed my hour yoga session, in the nude this time, I quickly prepared a breakfast in my kitchenette area of my small self-catering bungalow. It was liberating to do everything in the buff, the freedom of movement, no restrictive bra or panty to hamper my sexuality. I discovered the use of towels to sit on.
As usual, I went on my early morning drive in the lodge’s open game drive vehicle to inspect the waterholes and electrical fences. The wind played erotic games against my naked skin, caressing my hard nipples and uncovered pussy. A herd of cape buffaloes moved slowly towards the near empty waterhole as zebras and blue wildebeest vacated the area. We need to sell or cull the access animals as the feeding capacity of the area during the drought was much less.
The drought reminded me of the mythology a Demeter, the Greek goddess of fertility, whose daughter was kidnapped by Hades, the god of the underworld. She withheld her blessings on the earth until her daughter, Persephone, has been returned to her. Was she doing the same now? But who was her daughter today? Judging from my own experiences, I surmised all women who have denied their pussies were partly responsible for climate change. Big multinational corporations were the other culprits.
As I drove up to the lodge, I saw a car parked at the office. I didn’t know of any customers arriving today. After completing my status report, I walked to the office to see who the visitors were.
I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.
“Come in,” called Rita.
As I opened the door, I became aware of my state of dress. Before I could turn around, I saw Petra and her husband, Gert, staring at me, obviously shocked. They stood up to face me.
“Oops,” was my only response and turned to leave.
Koos grabbed my arm to stop my escape. “Not so fast, Sandy. You have visitors and they need to see you as you are.”
I couldn’t make out what my ex-colleagues thought of my state of undress. Their eyes betrayed shock and then I saw a smile creeping in the corner of Petra’s mouth. Forcing my arms to relax that wanted to cover my boobs and pussy, I sat down next to Koos. Rita was still behind the desk.
“Sandy is turning the lodge into a nudist and swinger’s resort,” said Koos. “This is her dress code.”
“I am truly sorry for my reaction to your tattoo,” I said, trying to narrow the rejection gap between us. “I was a stupid fuck.”
“Watch your language, my friend,” said Petra. She stood up and kneeled before me. Last time she was naked, and I still had all my clothes on. “I was never angry with. Just sad you had to go through all that rejection and humiliation. I am the one who has to apologise.”
“For opening my eyes and my pussy?” I opened my legs and kissed Petra on the mouth. “Thank you for giving me the freedom to be open.”
“This is all sweet and moving,” said Rita, “but we have invited Gert and Petra to help you setting up the resort.”
“How can they help? They’re still pastors.”
“We’ve been swingers for ten years and nudist for eleven,” said Petra, still on her knees before me. “I wanted to make you part of our group since the beginning, but we knew your asshole of an ex would never have gone for it. When I showed you my tattoo, I wanted you to join us.” As she kissed my knees, her right hand slipped between my thighs to my pussy.
“We’re no longer in the church,” added Gert. “We have a sex therapy practice, trying to convince people about the power of the pussy.”
“I am grateful you tried last year and not before,” I said. “I wouldn’t have been ready earlier. I was too involved with my studies and with yoga. Sex didn’t feature in my plans, especially when Johan moved into his own separate room.”
“Shame,” said Koos sarcastically joking. “Sandy, go and show our guests their accommodation. Then you can catch up on all your lost fucking.”
To be continued…