The Frenchman

Katherine held her breathe in uneasy anticipation as she opened the door. She never knew what she would see when she walked into her mother’s house these days. She let out the breath in silent relief as she saw her mother sitting in her normal chair, but more importantly wearing clothes. Even so, Katherine’s mind replayed what she had seen several days before when she had returned home late in the evening. Her mother bound naked and blindfolded in the same chair, her boyfriend, Pierre, laying on the couch reading… giving Katherine a smug smirk and a raised eyebrow as if he was silently asking her what she was going to do.

Katherine had been dumbstruck at his audacity, but she didn’t want to embarrass her mother by letting her know her daughter was seeing her in this state by making a sound. She stormed silently to her room, communicating her disdain for the man with the stiff movement of her body, the icy look on her face and for good measure two raised middle fingers. She regretted it later that night as she tried to fall asleep, wrapping her pillow around her head in an effort not to hear the sounds coming from her mother’s bedroom… the thud of something striking flesh, her mother’s stifled yelps of pain… Katherine knew her mother was paying for that disdain. Next time she mustn’t let Pierre get a reaction out of her.

The next morning at breakfast her mother was moving gingerly around the kitchen as Katherine came down the stairs. Fortunately, Pierre had presumably left already, brightening up the world with his absence. Her mother looked a bit embarrassed as she timidly made some small talk before subtly asking

‘So when did you get home last night?’

‘Oh super late Mother. There is a conference deadline coming up soon, so I was in the lab until past midnight trying to get some regressions to work.’

‘You are overworking yourself Katherine. Try to make sure to get enough sleep. I hope I didn’t disturb you last night. I was watching a movie in my room and couldn’t find the headphones.’

‘When I got home I was so tired I dropped right off to sleep and slept like a log, Mother.’

‘Oh that is good. A good night’s sleep does wonders for the body.’

A lot of the tension left her body at Katherine’s words, her silent fears had been extinguished.

‘A pity you didn’t come home earlier. Pierre came by after work for a bit. I was hoping I could introduce you to him, although I remember him saying that he thought he had run into you before. From that French conversation thing you go to, it is really a small world.’

Yes, Katherine knew all about Pierre. A lot of things that her mother didn’t know. And what was killing her inside was that it was all her fault.

—-

Several years before, Katherine had decided to learn French. It seemed like a nice hobby to have; being a great way to meet people and lending a certain air of sophistication. After a long time of self-study, she ventured out and began going to a weekly meetup group for French conversation. It was great fun and she made several good friends. The one downside was there were a few men that seemed to attend purely to find a girlfriend. Katherine was used to attracting unwanted male attention however and she normally didn’t have much trouble brushing off the flirtations that came her way. But one older French gentleman, Pierre, was undeterred by the many signals she sent him to leave her alone.

He was friendly and sophisticated, and he had that famous French charm about him so maybe he thought she would eventually come to her senses and swoon over him like some of the older ladies that also attended the meetings. But he was just so old, she was never going to be attracted to someone old enough to be her father. Finally, his air kisses and hugs and fleeting touches got to be too much for her to stand. ‘Leave me alone and find someone your own age, old man’ was what she finally blurted out when he invaded her personal space yet again.

He was momentarily nonplussed, but he quickly recovered with his usual aplomb.

‘Oh en francais, s’il vous plait.’ He then went off on a tangent about the differences between good manners in France versus these uncivilized Americans which dispelled the tension that Katherine’s outburst had caused. In any case, he kept his distance from her after that episode… proving to her that those so called unsophisticated American ways were effective.

She didn’t think anything of it when her mother started seeing a charming Frenchman. Katherine was glad that her mother was getting out of the house and enjoying life more, her father had passed away long ago and it was more than time enough to move on. She went about her busy life as a graduate student, half-listening as her mother dropped tidbits about what she seemed to think was the courtship of the century into their daily conversations.

He spoke fluent French, he was the world’s best dancer, he got a table for them at some fancy restaurant. Pierre had taken her picnicking in the park, in Parisian style which was so classy. It all went in one ear and out the other as Katherine murmured appropriate responses while thinking about other things. Later, she wished she had taken more of an interest in her mother’s life. She should have asked more questions and actually listened. If she had seen a picture of this mystery Casanova early enough she might have been able to give her mother a few sharp truths about the man and saved her before he sunk his claws in so deep.

At some point she realized that the various pictures of her mother and father had been taken down and recent pictures of her mother with Pierre had taken their place. Katherine was shocked when she realized that she knew that man smiling next to her mother… She had mixed feelings once she had time to think about it. Sure, the man had been a bit of a creep to her but it was true that there were cultural differences and maybe she had misinterpreted things. In any case, he was making her mother happy and she was obviously very receptive to his advances. She decided to just accept it, all men were dogs after all but maybe the right woman could get them to rise above their baser instincts.

At the end of the next conversation meeting, she moved into the chair beside Pierre as everyone got up to leave.

‘I think you are dating my mother.’ She expected him to be surprised… to be concerned that she would give an unflattering review of him to her mother. She had been anticipating making him squirm a bit for a change.

‘Oui, I took your advice mon cheri. I found a woman my own age. Such a delectable flower, faded with time perhaps but more the eager to please a man because of it.’ He smirked.

‘I regret that I will probably not live to see the day when a young, proud beauty such as yourself reaches that stage of life. When every time you look in the mirror you see another wrinkle, another sag, another blemish overlaying that once beautiful face that is such a great part of who you are. When finding a man that tells you that you are beautiful in his eyes and makes you believe it is true is such a miracle as to make an atheist believe in god. Then you will understand when I say that I am not just dating your mother, mon cheri, I own your mother… body, mind and soul.’

Katherine was gobsmacked at the bullshit coming out of the man’s mouth. He was so fucking delusional it would have made her laugh if she wasn’t so angry. No one called her mother old and faded.

‘You really are senile, old man. Just wait until I speak with my mother. That faded flower is going to kick you in the balls the next time you try to talk to her.’

‘Heh heh, so brash and uncouth. So American. But of course you know so little about love. It does have its charm, being so beautiful, so intelligent but yet so very naïve.’

He had been texting while he spoke and he held up his phone so Katherine could see the message he had sent.

‘Ma chienne, it has been too long since I’ve had the rarefied joy of your company. Come to my place at 6pm tonight so I can sample your charms once again. Until then, oblige me by sending a voice clip of the phrase I taught you last time we met.’

Katherine decided he was drunk. He obviously knew that her mother didn’t know French so calling her his bitch was going to backfire on him so spectacularly once Katherine pointed out what that French phrase meant. She got up to leave, no point in putting up with this stupidity. She would find her mother, tell her everything and then they would go get a restraining order on this buffoon.

‘Do yourself a favour and stay away from me and my mother, you sick freak.’ She began to march off but she halted when she heard her mother’s voice coming from his phone. She was panting out of breath as if she had been running.

‘Woof woof woof, baisser moi comme une chienne’

She spun to stare at Pierre, at the phone in his hands. He smirked and tapped the screen again.

‘Woof woof woof, baisser moi comme une chienne’

Katherine looked around fearfully, checking that nobody was within earshot. Thankfully no one had heard her mother asking to be fucked like a dog. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. That wasn’t at all like the mother she knew; strong, successful, career driven… what had he done to her?’

Pierre broke the silence. ‘Such an obedient woman, so in love and so eager to please. As I said, fading flowers are so simple to pluck. Not my normal choice, simplicity is boring but you mon cheri added a certain spice to the dish which I am enjoying so much.’

He slipped his phone back into his pocket.

‘Now ma chienne took 3 minutes to respond to my simple request. I’m sure you don’t know but I have trained her to respond quicker than that to my texts during the day so some…aheh obedience training is in store for her tonight. I could be understanding of her predicament and her need to go somewhere away from her co-workers before she responded or I could be very strict, following the maxim of spare the rod spoil the bitch. I think if you would be so kind as to apologize for your earlier crudity and ask for my forgiveness, mon cheri, then I will be in a good mood for my rendez-vous later.’

He looked expectantly at Katherine.

‘Fuck you’ was her response as she stormed off. Pulling her phone out to call her mother and sort this thing out.

Five unanswered calls later her anger was fading and doubt was beginning to set in. She left a voice message hinting at the fact that she wanted to talk to her about her boyfriend. But all she received in return was a text message stating her mother was busy at work and had a work engagement later so they could talk at breakfast the next morning. Katherine stayed up until after midnight waiting for her mother to return but finally she headed to bed hoping that sleep would calm her troubled mind.

She bounded down the stairs in the morning. She was relieved to see her mother preparing breakfast in the kitchen like always. The normalcy was comforting.

‘Good morning, Katherine. I hope you slept well. What was it you wanted to talk about? Sorry about not being able get back to you yesterday, work is super busy these days.’

‘Oh, I slept well mother. I was just hoping to talk to you about your boyfriend. I’m curious about this mystery man. Not an emergency I suppose but I worry about you mom.’

‘Awh thank you dear. Oh, Pierre is so wonderful. No one can ever take your father’s place, but Pierre makes me happy darling.’

‘That’s great mom, but I hope you are being careful. Not everything is as it seems when you are dating. Men are all dogs, remember telling me that when I first started dating.’

‘Hah, awh the shoe is now on the other foot I see dear. Yes, your mother is being very careful like always. And I don’t think you ever did follow my advice when you were younger. Should I mention a certain boy that I said was no good….’

‘Right mom, you are always right. But be careful ok, and you can tell me anything if you need someone to talk to about stuff. Just like you were there for me when that boy was mistreating me.’

‘Thank you darling. Now I need to rush or I’ll be late for work.’

Katherine’s mother picked up her plate and ate leaning against the fridge. Which was very unlike her.

‘Mother, you at least have time to sit down and eat properly. Set a good example for your impressionable daughter.’

Her mother blushed a little.

‘I’ll just stand dear, I sit all the time at the office and it really isn’t good for me.’ She then quickly changed the topic as if embarrassed by something.

Katherine couldn’t figure out a way to say anything directly about Pierre to her mother. Subtly raising the idea that maybe her mother’s boyfriend wasn’t god’s gift to woman always met with a quick denial and a listing of his many virtues. She was afraid that if she came out and directly told her mother what she knew that she wouldn’t be believed at all. What Pierre had said to her was unbelievable… so how could she get her mother to believe it when she was clearly not thinking rationally.

She also noticed it was several days before her mother sat on anything. And then she sat very gingerly as if in some pain. She was sure it had something to do about the strictness that Pierre had mentioned. Would it really have killed her to apologize? She had to stop letting her temper get the better of her. It would be smarter not to antagonize him until she figured out how to break the spell he had placed on her mother.

The next time she went to the conversation group she held her tongue when Pierre proved to be back to his normal chauvinistic ways. He sat right beside her, too close as usual. His casual use of ‘mon cheri’ in greeting set her teeth on edge, she wasn’t his…. anything. Then he actually ordered for her when the waiter came by, not even what she wanted… she drank strong coffee not wimpy tea. But she counted to 10 in her head, then smiled and thanked him for his generosity. She praised herself for her forbearance and tried to lose herself in the conversations with other people. Pierre of course made it difficult with his need to always be the center of attention, today he delighted in pointing out every one of her errors in speaking French.

‘There there,’ he said after one particular error, patting her hand condescendingly, ‘for an American woman you are doing not bad at all. You just need to find a French man to train you.’

Katherine stared at his offending hand, she mentally imagined breaking his fingers one by one. Then she smiled and thanked him for his kind comment. She looked up at the clock as it ticked away the last few minutes before the end… delivering her from this hell.

But there was one last hurdle to overcome before she could escape. As the other members began to depart, she drew in a deep breath and blurted out the apology she had been dreading for the entire week.

‘I am deeply sorry if my words offended you last week. I shouldn’t have spoken to you in such a rude manner, and I hope that you can forgive me.’ Unspoken was the plea for him to not punish her mother anymore.

‘Ah but mon cheri, a woman’s words are like dust in the wind. Temporarily annoying but soon forgotten.’

Pierre patted Katherine on the cheek, smirking as they reddened in anger and embarrassment.

‘I am glad that you realize a woman’s mouth is to be used only to please a man. It took a few lessons for your dear mother to learn the same, American women have their heads filled with such silly nonsense sometimes. Now please me with your voice mon cheri one last time before I bid you adieu.’

Katherine didn’t know where the words came from, but she managed to rasp out ‘Thank you for helping me with my French today. I make so many silly errors that I need a man to guide me.’

Pierre gave out a cheerful chortle as he rose from his seat.

‘Ah mon cheri, it has been a pleasure but now I must depart.’

Katherine slumped in her chair as he sauntered out of the restaurant. She tried to blank the last few hours out of her head, she had done what she had to do. She could only hope that she had been pleasing enough that her mother would be safe from the worst of that man’s attentions.

It seemed to have work. The price of her pride bought her a mother that was cheerful and spry the next morning. She glowed and hummed under her breathe as she ate her breakfast under Katherine’s watchful eyes. More importantly she sat down in the chair to eat without any sign of discomfort.

It became a routine. Each week, Katherine had her pride ground down by Pierre. Listening to his archaic ideas of gender norms, tolerating his casual touches, smiling to make him happy. Sometimes she displeased him in some way, and she would castigate herself all week when she spotted the signs of harsh punishment that her mother tried to hide. She began to always keep one eye on his facial expression, striving to pick up any sign of a frown so she could rectify her behavior.

She learned the things he liked, the things he didn’t. Opinions were bad, arguing was forbidden. Interrupting him wasn’t even to be thought of, she shuddered thinking of how her mother had moved the morning after she had made that mistake. Laughing at his jokes was must, giving him her full wide-eyed attention was always required. He liked brief touches on his arm, wide smiles, correct posture but she must always look slightly down as to not look him in the eyes. He loved to be called Sir and if she had made a large mistake, it might be erased by accidently pressing her breasts up against his arm.

The worst was always the brief moments at the end. The others would depart removing the security of their presence. Then Pierre would briefly harangue her on the subject of women and men, which might have been a French viewpoint but it was definitely 16^th century French. Sometimes he commented on her mother, about her training, how she pleased him with her body. Then Katherine would have to please him with her mouth as he so demeaningly refer to it. At first she would say what she had to then instantly blank it from her mind, but then he began to test her. When she couldn’t repeat what she had said weeks earlier, her mother had paid the price. So now she wrote them down afterwards and memorized them. She hid the sheet of paper very carefully, it would be humiliating for someone else to find.

‘Women should always listen and smile when a man speaks. The value of a woman’s mouth is not in what it says but in its other uses.’

‘A man decides, a woman obeys. Obedience to one’s betters is the most important virtue a woman can have.’

‘I apologize for my silly thoughts today, Sir. I should know better than to try to think for myself.’

‘A woman’s life begins when she finds a man to train her. To find such a man should be her single focus.’

It went on and on. Sometimes he was pleased with a single sentence. Sometimes he would make her converse on the theme, making her defend the sentence with proof and examples. She learned to be convincing, to be enthusiastic and articulate in her praise for his outdated views.

Katherine had gathered a small collection of women advice books from the 60s that she used to draw ideas from. Otherwise, she didn’t think she would be able to think up such garbage. She didn’t lie to herself, this was hell. But it could be worse. She just needed to buy time until he made some big mistake or she found a way to pry her mother out of his clutches. Her ever present fear was that Pierre wouldn’t always be satisfied by words, that he would demand something more from her one day. Then she would have to decide how far she would go to save her mother.

—

So when Katherine saw her mother sitting normally in the chair, she was relieved, but it made her worried as well. Seeing Pierre in her home had been an escalation on the hell she was used to. Her reaction had undoubtedly exacerbated things even more. She should have effectuated the smiling, wide eyed look that she had perfected at the conversation group, but seeing her mother being used that way had been too much for her to handle. It was one thing to know how Pierre treated her mother, it was so much worse to see it in person.