The Bargain

“Well, it did at the time, but I was very young, and I was still of the standard opinion that love is a zero-sum game.”

“And could you explain that “Zero-sum” characterization?”

“Sure! Feelings are nebulous, non-quantifiable, and since the tangible world is one of zero-sum, it’s easy to make the leap and say that emotions, feelings are the same. It’s like if you have a dozen eggs and you use four, you have eight left, that’s a concrete fact. But emotions, love being one of them, are non-quantifiable, and using some of an emotion doesn’t take any of it away and use it up. The best example is an old, trite one that says that if love wasn’t boundless when a mom has a second child, she’d have to take half of the love away from her first child to give some to the second, which is an absurd concept”.

“So, you, essentially, grew up learning about your mom’s philosophy of love and emotion?”

“Yes, I suppose I did.”

“And, so, at some point you met Mr. Freskin?”

“Yes, momma took me on a weekend trip to visit Sam when he was stationed in North Carolina.”

“How old were you?”

“Probably six. I think it was the summer after first grade.”

“And did you find it unusual or scary?”

“Oh, no! Momma had told me stories about Sam and her since I can remember, so I was excited to meet him. He was very nice to me.”

“And did it turn out to be what you expected?”

“Not exactly. You know, he’s in the army and he lived on base, so mom and I spent the weekend in a hotel, but it was still exciting.”

“So, you had a good time?”

“Oh, gosh, yes! He took us to see paratroopers jump out of planes and showed us around the base; it was great!”

“And during that weekend how much time did you spend thinking of your father, or did anyone mention or consider your father?”

Patricia rocked back in her chair, jolted, her eyes wide she looked directly at her father, as he stared back at her with pain in his eyes, “Oh god, daddy, I’m sorry”, she said with a sob in her voice.

“Again, did anyone mention your father in conversation, your mother, Mr. Freskin?”

“Momma didn’t, but when Sam was hugging me bye, he whispered in my ear, “Take care of your dad, Patti, he’s a good man”. God, I hadn’t thought of what he said since that day.”

“And, Ms. Laughlin, how old were you when you realized that your mother and Mr. Freskin had a sexual relationship?”

The flush climbed Patricia’s neck, into her face and she glanced down as she answered quietly, “I guess I was about twelve years old.”

“And how were you made aware of the fact?”

I was helping Mom pack for a weekend with Sam, and I saw some packages that she was putting in her bag, and they look like packages of ketchup or something. I picked them up and looked at them and asked what they were. Momma was always very upfront with me about sex, so she explained what condoms were and how they were used.”

“So, your mother wasn’t on birth control”?

Her face still flaming red, Patricia, still staring at the table said, “I didn’t know about any of that at the time, and she just explained to me that she and Sam had been in love since they were kids and now had an adult relationship.”

“So, you were twelve years old when your mother started your indoctrination into the details of extra-marital sex?”

“It wasn’t that way…”

Ms. Kline broke in forcefully, “No more questions for this witness, your Honor.”

The Judge looked at the wall clock. “OK, folks, it’s nearly 12:30, let’s take a break for lunch, and be back, ready to go at, say, 1:30”.

The bailiff stood and intoned “Court is in recess”.

As the parties were filing out of the conference room, Patricia headed for her father. She wanted to tell him again how sorry she was for not realizing how much he had been hurt, but Eloise Kline stood in her way.

Eloise smiled at her gently and said, “Please, Patricia, now’s not the time. Your dad still has to testify, and I’d like to keep him calm until then. Why don’t we just put any conversations off until another time”?

As she nodded, Patti watched her father walk away down the hall with a slump in his posture that she didn’t remember having seen in him before. She wondered if he would ever again be the upright, vital man who had been her daddy.

***********

At 1:30 all parties were back in the room and the bailiff arose and announced Judge Bartelli’s entrance. She looked around the room, and said, “All witnesses remain sworn, and may be subject to further questions. Everyone clear on that?”

Everyone around the conference table looked at one another, back at the judge, and nodded in the affirmative.

The Judge shuffled some papers, looked at Mr. Raffin, and asked, “So, do you have more questions for either of your witnesses or any further witnesses, Professor”?

“No, your Honor”.

“Ms. Kline, you may call your first witness”.

“The plaintiff calls Philip Laughlin.”

Everyone turned to Philip, and the Judge intoned, “Remember Mr. Laughlin, you were sworn before, and the oath is still in effect”.

Looking at Judge Bartelli. “I understand, your Honor.”

“Ms. Kline, your witness.”

Eloise Kline had gone full-bore on the “Country-aunt” look today, with a monochrome dress, and a boring knit jacket that would look at home on the racks at a discount store. She turned a sympathetic face to Philip, waited for the sad look to register with Judge Bartelli, and plunged in.

“Mr. Kline would you please state your name and address for the record?”

“My name is Philip Braxton Laughlin, and I currently live in an apartment in The Watergate Complex.”

“And what is your educational background.”

“I did double undergrad degrees in history and economics from Stanford University, a Masters in Constitutional History at the University of Chicago, and a JD from Georgetown University here in the District”.

“What is the nature of your employment, sir?”

I am a partner with the law firm of Bates, Standridge, Laughlin, Haney here in the district, specializing in conflict resolution, especially as it pertains to legal disputes between world governments.”

“Phil, Mr. Laughlin, how and when did you meet Michiko Laughin?”

He gave a wry smile. “I guess it’s a cliché, but we met in the library at Stanford. We were taking the same class, at the same time from two different instructors, and, while I was struggling with it, she was in the library simply to buttress her “A” for the class. We reached for the same book, again cliché, and when we looked into each other’s eyes, she had a look that I had never seen before as if someone was very interested in knowing me.”

“And how quickly did your relationship develop?”

Laughlin’s eyes lost focus as if he was looking into the past. “I asked her out for coffee that night and we got together the next afternoon after class. We talked for two hours and decided that we would both like to develop a friendship.”

“At some point, did Molly tell you about the relationship that she had with Mr. Freskin?”

“Yes. On our fourth official date, at the end of the evening, she told me that she had something serious to discuss with me, so we went to a small, quiet bar, and had a beer. She told me straight out that she liked me a lot and that she could see that we might develop a serious and long-lasting relationship if I felt the same way. I told her that I did. She looked at me intently and very quietly for a moment, and then she told me in a very straightforward manner that she was in love with another man, that she had been since they were both in their teens, and that the relationship was still ongoing. I replied forcefully that I wasn’t interested in being the ‘other guy’ and started to stand with the intent that I would leave. She stopped me and explained that while she and the other man were in love and that the relationship continued, that he was going to make a career in the Army and would never be in a position to have a wife and family. She went on to say that she believed that it was more than possible to love more than one person at once and that she was looking for someone who could consider this scenario, who might be amenable to the idea of love, marriage, and family with what she termed a polyamorous wife. I asked her again, just to be sure if she was saying that what she wanted was to be married to one man but to also carry on an outside relationship with her longtime love. She was very explicit in saying that was exactly what she was looking for. I told her straight out that I wasn’t’ the guy she was looking for, cut the conversation short, and took her back to her apartment. She seemed very sad and asked me to think it over, but I was pretty adamant that it just wasn’t something I could do. I didn’t go in and drove away that night with the idea in mind that I’d never see her again, and it would have probably worked out that way if it hadn’t been for my roommate.”

“Eloise Kline said to him quietly, and how did your roommate change the way you saw things?”

Philip grinned sardonically. “You have to remember that Molly was just as beautiful then as she is now, and just as much the object of universal undergrad lust. My roommate Gary, thought I was crazy for not going ahead and dating her, and taking advantage of all the sex-goddess loving I could get and then just baling when things got too complicated.”

“And, so, did you follow Gary’s advice?”

“No, not exactly, because I liked Molly very much. Don’t misunderstand, we were sexually very attracted to one another, but I believed that the friendship was as large a part of our relationship. We talked for hours since our studies overlapped to an extent, and we were both intellectually immersed in our majors; but we also largely saw the world the same way, had the same life philosophies and aspirations. There wasn’t much partying, but we studied together nearly every night and became closer and closer. During Christmas, however, I was really slapped in the face with reality, because she went up to West Point and spent three days with Mr. Freskin. When she came back, I saw her once and then didn’t talk with her again for about a week. I just didn’t think I could deal with the reality of the situation.”

“And did you break off the relationship?”

“I didn’t. In simple terms, I missed her, so I went back. I wanted to be with her, but I had already decided though, that while I would date her while at school, there wasn’t any realistic way that I’d even consider marrying her. She was everything that you’d dream of physically and intellectually, but she wasn’t for me.”

“Did she think you were getting married?”

“Oh, yeah. After I came back to her following that first Christmas, I believe that she thought that it was a done deal. I honestly planned, though, that after graduation, I’d just take the emotional hit and pull the plug on the relationship.”

Eloise looked at Philip intently. “Are you saying that you never discussed your reservations with Molly?”

Philip, leaning on the table, dropped his face into his hands and seemed to knead the memory out of his head, “Oh, no, shit, we talked about it as often as I could make her listen. Oh, crap, I’m sorry, your Honor, for my language…and for the second offense.”

Judge Bartelli gazed placidly at Philip Laughlin and observed, “No worries, Mr. Laughlin, you’re a witness, now, not an attorney.”

“And what did Molly say when you raised the issue of her other lover”, Eloise murmured, did she try to comfort you, tell you that she would stop seeing him because she loved you?”

There was a long silence as Philip gathered himself, so long that the judge was moved to ask if he needed a recess.

“No, she never did,” he said baldly. “Anytime I expressed what I would have called my deal breakers, she was always ready to say that Sam was willing to let her be with me, and why couldn’t I feel the same way about her relationship with him if I loved her as much as I said.”

“Mr. Laughlin, did you, and do you believe that your wife ever truly understood your feelings about her relationship with Mr. Freskin?”

“That’s a hard one to answer. After all, how sure can you ever be about what’s inside someone’s head? The only conclusions that I can draw are that she certainly understood what I was saying, and what my position was on the matter. Whether she ever completely understood what was in my head and heart is debatable, I suppose. In retrospect, I suspect that she heard what she wanted to hear and believed what she wanted to believe.”

“So, you subsequently married. May I ask why you decided to go ahead with the marriage feeling as you did?”

“That’s a question that has a simple answer that’s backed with a million qualifications. The simple fact is that I loved her and didn’t think I could live without her. But behind that love was the thought, or should I say, hope, that eventually if we had a family and that she became successful in her career field, that she would surely be fulfilled enough and busy enough that she would simply not need anything but me and children. I held onto that hope until Patti was born, but the episode at the hospital that we’ve already heard about ended that fantasy. After that, I continually deflected any discussion as to whether we should have additional children.”

“And after the episode at the hospital, in which your wife’s extra-marital relationship, once again, took precedence over her relationship with you, did your attitude and feelings regarding your marriage change?”

“They did. I concluded that Molly’s feelings about Sam Freskin were never going to change or evolve, that she would continue the relationship for her lifetime, and that I was never going to be completely happy, satisfied, and fulfilled in our marriage. You have to understand, that Molly had that specific way of looking at love from the polyamorous point of view, and she couldn’t grasp why someone else, me in particular, couldn’t grab onto her viewpoint and accept it. On the other hand, while she could intellectually grasp American society’s viewpoint on monogamy, she also couldn’t, for the life of her, understand why someone would want to live in such an, as she put it, ’emotionally stifled’ way. We were simply at a sticking point, and over the year after Patti’s birth, I worked through all the logical permutations of what I was facing and came to the realization that for the sake of my emotional well-being, I simply couldn’t maintain our relationship indefinitely.”

“But you decided not to leave immediately?”

“That’s correct. We now had a child, an innocent bystander to the train-wreck we called a marriage, and I was determined that she would have a completely happy childhood and that I’d do everything possible to protect her from having a one-parent family. Also, I knew in my heart if I wasn’t around, that Molly’s philosophy about love and relationships would ‘infect’ Patti if you will, and I believed that my presence could offset that. So, I settled in to do my duty, I suppose you’d call it, trying to make a little girl happy.”

“And did you make her happy?”

“I believe so. She had as normal a childhood as I could make it in terms of stability, parental involvement in her life, and all the other things that good, devoted parents do to raise a happy child. And I’ll give her credit, Molly was a great mom too, in most ways.”

“In what way was she not a good mom?”

“Regrettably, I wasn’t successful in protecting Patti from her mom’s point of view on love and relationships, and, I regret to say that she’s gone down the same road as her mother.”

There was an audible gasp from Patricia at that remark.

“From what I’ve learned, Patti is carrying on simultaneous adult relationships with two men, at least one of which is serious. But, to my disgust, she has kept an additional more casual sexual relationship a secret from her steady boyfriend, a situation which falls into the category of simple dishonesty and cheating rather than the polyamory she’d like to characterize it as in her own mind. My failure to protect her from the deplorable mindset that encourages this kind of behavior makes me very sad and calls into question my decision to stay with the family for all these years.”

Upon finishing the sentence, Philip turned his head and gazed despondently at Patricia who, by this time, was staring at her lap, slowly shaking her head as tears dripped off her lashes, and murmuring, “No, please Daddy.”

Eloise Kline took a moment for the gravity of the moment to set in, and then asked quietly, “Mr. Laughlin, after the episode at the hospital, did your feelings for your wife change?”

“They did. I went through the first year talking myself out of leaving immediately, but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t leave that little girl. For at least the first few weeks, I despised Molly, but I understood that I couldn’t indulge in that level of antagonism without failing in my goal of trying to make a loving home for Patti; so, every time I was around Molly, I reverted to my role as a lawyer, as a conflict resolution specialist. I watched myself carefully to identify what pushed my hot buttons and did what I could to avoid or alleviate those situations. Some, of course, couldn’t be avoided.”

“And how did you actually feel about Ms. Laughlin during these years?”

“It changed, depending on what was going on in our lives, but, in general, I’d say that, while I respected her for many things, and still loved her on some levels, I resented her, and felt that she was cruel and self-serving.”

From his left, he heard Molly whisper, “Oh, Philip.”

“Did you maintain the role of a loving husband?”

“Oh, yes; after all that was the responsibility that I had taken on. I felt it was my duty and I was careful to present nothing that would upset Patti or give her the impression that our home was anything but happy. And I believe I was successful at that.”

“And were you as successful in your interactions with your wife?”

He smiled speculatively, “Apparently I was.”

“How were you able to do that?”

“I think, inevitably, as time goes by the relationship of any two people in a married relationship changes simply because of the pressures of life. You have less time to devote to one another. Molly would have had less time for me in any case, with her complicated professional schedule, and with a block of her time devoted to Freskin, I was relegated to once-in-a-while status. Oh, I don’t think she’d agree with that, but…” He shrugged. “In any event, with her, I played a role, it was as simple as that.”

“Did you continue to have a physical relationship with her?”

“Sure, I did. My god, look at her, she’s still a gorgeous woman, and who wouldn’t want to go to bed with her. Even after all these years, and even under the deplorable circumstances, having sex with her is great. I suppose in that respect, that’s the one area in which I got more of her attention than Freskin.” He smiled wryly.

“So, your physical relationship with your wife continued to be satisfactory?”

“Satisfactory (?), physically, I suppose, but emotionally”, he paused to look at the Judge, “Pardon me your Honor, but, emotionally, I just fucked her.”

At this Molly gasped.

“Mr. Laughlin, how did your feelings for your wife evolve over the years?”

For the first ten years, or so after Patti was born, I still loved her despite myself, with that feeling waning as time went by. At the ten-year point, I reached a sort of calloused stage in which I stopped caring about her or worrying about where life was going and transitioned to starting to actively fantasize about what my life would be like after I left her, and, in more general terms, how I would accomplish that.”

“Was there a point at which you found yourself becoming more deliberate in your planning to end your marriage?”

“I didn’t start making concrete plans until about two years ago, but I realized four years ago that I was completely wasting my time staying in the house. I realized by then that I had failed with Patti. I overheard her having a mother-daughter talk with Molly one Saturday afternoon, and she was telling her mom about having five different boys pursuing her at school. Molly was giving her advice on how to keep them all on the hook and play them off against one another, and it was at the point when I heard Patti laugh at the scheming bullshit her mother was spouting, that I knew I had lost her, that I should just cut my losses and get out.”

“Did you start making plans to leave at that point?”

“I tried to, but anytime I attempted anything concrete, that is, organized, I’d become depressed, and life would begin to feel futile. I didn’t know at the time until my psychotherapy began, but I was hovering around the edges of serious depression and possibly suicidal ideation. Even though I found the idea of leaving soul-killing, even more, I also found it liberating, as if I was in prison, and looking at a release date. Honestly, finding out that I’d already lost Patti helped in a way because I’d done my best and failed, but now I was freed to make concrete plans.”

“So, you eventually established a relationship with Dr. Frank Condon and went through a period of emotional self-evaluation and therapy. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“And did your time with Dr. Condon help you reach definite conclusions about how you felt about your marriage and how to get out of it?”

“Oh, in no way did Dr. Condon direct me in leaving my marriage. For the first three months, he simply helped me examine how I felt about the marriage, about Molly, and Patti. After I had fully organized my feelings, he simply helped me manage my anxiety and depression at the thought of my failures and of ending a more than two-decade-long relationship. That was difficult. It was very emotionally fatiguing to face my depression while simultaneously carrying on a demanding law practice and maintaining the appearance of a settled marriage. All Dr. Condon did was to bring in a little light, I found my way on my own.”

“Mr. Laughlin, do you still love your wife?”

“That’s a tough one. I suppose that I still love the Molly of twenty years ago before all the hurts mounted up, but as time has gone by, the love has diminished to the point that I don’t feel much about her one way or another. I’ve become comfortable with the fact that she has never done anything to me out of malice, and that she probably loves me within her concept of the word, but I can’t say honestly that I still love her in the here and now.”

“Is there anything that your wife could do that would make you change your mind, that would re-establish your love for her, that would cause you to want to risk taking another chance on your marriage?”

Philip Laughin looked over at Molly, who had both of her hands clasped tightly in front of her mouth, and who gazed back at him sadly, “I suppose she could invent a time machine, take us back to our college days, and decide that I was too important to her to risk fucking another man for twenty years. That might work, I guess. But I suppose that you’re asking, is there anything she could do now, and the answer to that is no. Even if she gave up her other relationship, which she would never do, there’s just been too much damage to repair. I just frankly don’t give a shit at this point.”

“One last question for you sir, “Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife?”

Phil Laughin turned and looked his wife directly in the eye and shook his head.

“I’ll need an audible answer for the record sir,”, Eloise said with force.

“No! I was never unfaithful to her at any time in our marriage.”

Eloise Kline glanced at Judge Bartelli, “No other questions for this witness, your Honor”.

“Very well. Mr. Raffin, do you have any questions for this witness”?

“Just a few your Honor”. Bernard Raffin turned toward Philip, and asked, “Mr. Laughlin, did you understand what Molly was proposing when she told you on your fourth date about her relationship with Sam Freskin?”

“I’m not sure I did, but I certainly did subsequently”.

“And did you fully understand the nature of your prospective relationship with her when you became engaged?”

“I’ve already gone through all the permutations of our relationship at that time, and how I understood it.”

“Please humor me and answer the question, sir.”

“I don’t believe I will.”

Eloise Kline turned quickly toward Judge Bartelli. “Your Honor, all of this information has been covered in earlier questioning, has been asked and answered. I don’t know what Mr. Raffin is getting at here, but it appears that he’s asking questions simply for the sake of asking.”

The Judge thought for a moment and looked at Raffin. “I agree. Mr. Raffin, you’re going over the same ground, and if you cannot demonstrate that you’re going to be branching out into new territory, we’re going to shut it off here.”

Raffin, looking extremely irritated, shuffled through some paperwork, had a whispered consultation with Molly Laughlin, turned to the Judge, and said, “The Defense has no further questions of this witness, your Honor.”

“Very well. Ms. Kline, you may call your next witness. If you’re going to take longer than thirty minutes, however, I think we should take a short break.”

“That might be best, your Honor.”

“OK, we’re going to say thirty minutes, so everyone be back here at 3:00, and we’ll wrap this up.” She rapped her gavel on the table and everyone rose.

As they were all exiting the conference room, Molly headed for Philip. “Philip, we need to talk,” her arm was extended, reaching out to him.

Philip Laughlin leaned away from her touch, nearly cringing, as Eloise Kline’s assistant Claire stepped between the two, effectively cutting Molly off from her target.

Molly was left standing there with Patti stroking her shoulder as Philip disappeared down the hallway shepherded away by his two female handlers.

Eloise Kline, Philip, Claire, and Frank Condon stood at a wine bar, and as they discussed the progress of the case, Philip’s phone vibrated, and he looked at it only to find that Patricia was calling him. He hesitated and then raised it toward his ear. Eloise grasped his wrist, and asked, “Who’s calling Philip?”

“It’s Patti, I probably should take it.”

“No, not during the hearing. Let it go to voice-mail, and if it’s anything vital you can call back, but it’s not a good idea to speak to her right now if you can avoid it.”

After a few moments, his phone gave a short vibration, and he saw that he did have a voice mail. He dialed in and heard a message from Patricia.

“Daddy, I wanted to let you know that I’m very upset with you. You didn’t have to make my personal business public as part of your case. This is supposed to be between you and mom, but I see that since I’m in the line of fire, I’ll just have to keep my head down, I suppose. I’m very hurt that you said those things about me without speaking to me first.” She hung up without saying goodbye.

He scrubbed his face with his hands, and looking around the table, he said, “Patti’s angry that I brought up the issue of her two boyfriends in court. I knew she wouldn’t like it, but she sounds as much hurt as mad.”

Eloise just shook her head. “Phil, you had to know she would be, but you also know it had to be done. If you don’t get through to her, you’ve wasted a real chance.”

“I know, but this isn’t like grounding her or sending her to bed without dessert, she has to see this as a real slap in the face.”

“Maybe it’s a slap in the face that will wake her up,” Frank said, lowering his half-full glass of Cabernet.

They tried to lighten the mood, finished their snacks, and headed back for to courtroom.

………..

The Judge looked around at the parties to the case, and said, “If nothing earth-shaking comes up, I’ll be ruling on the filed request at the end of the session and entertaining any further motions that either party may introduce. Please be ready to argue anything you request”.

“Ms. Kline you indicated that you have another witness. I’d like to finish this soon. Is that possible?”

“Absolutely, your Honor. Our next witness won’t take long for my part, and dependent upon questioning by Mr. Raffin, I’ll have two motions at the end of the process.”

“OK, you may call your witness.”

“The Plaintiff calls Dr. Frank Condon.”

Before Eloise could speak further, the Judge interjected with a smile, “Let the record show that the court is very familiar with Dr. Condon’s work, that he has appeared before this jurist as an expert witness, that the court holds him in very high regard and accepts the fact of his esteemed status as an expert witness without reservation or further qualification.”

“Well, thank you, your Honor,” Eloise said, complacently.

She turned back to Dr. Condon, and after a moment to collect herself, she said, “Dr. Condon, please state your name and address for the record.”

“My name is Francis Myles Condon, and while I live in the District of Columbia, your Honor as I have done before, I decline to give my specific address for the reasons of patient privacy and security.”

The Judge simply nodded in acquiescence.

“And Doctor, since the Judge has waived the need for qualification, I’ll only ask you to state your profession for purposes of the record.”

Condon nodded and said, “I’m a psychotherapist, specializing in the treatment of PTSD.”

“Did you at some time have occasion to meet and accept as a patient, Mr. Philip Laughlin?”

“I did. I normally accept only those with moderate to severe emotional impairments as patients but was approached by a long-time friend who prevailed upon me to at least have a conversation with Mr. Laughlin, and if nothing else refer him to someone else who might provide more appropriate care in his situation”.

“Upon your interview with Mr. Laughlin did you reach a conclusion as to whether it would be appropriate to take him on as a patient?”

“After a session with Mr. Laughlin, which I admit went substantially over the normal time constraints since it was the last of the day, I decided that not only could I help him, but that his case could open doors in my thinking and treatment that I had not explored before.”

“Before we explore those factors, Doctor, what did you discern that Mr. Laughlin needed help with?”

“Philip told me that he had been in a marriage for nearly twenty-two years in which he had always accepted that his wife had an emotional and sexual partner other than himself and that he had remained with her for the sake of the minor child who had subsequently become an adult and who was no longer as much of a factor in his decision-making process. He further said that, while he in some way still loved his wife that her determination to maintain the relationship with ‘the other man’ made it impossible to continue their relationship, that it was simply too much for him emotionally.”

“So, you and Mr. Laughlin began a therapy regimen that lasted for one year, and you had two sessions per week during that time?”

“In fact, we had more than two on occasion, when Phil was feeling particularly upset for one reason or another, totaling some one hundred and seventeen separate meetings.”

“And what was Mr. Laughlin’s aim in his therapy?”

“As he so baldly put it, he wanted to grow a pair of balls that would help him get beyond his shame and subjugation and take a step that would allow him to feel free and whole for the first time in twenty-four years.”

At this statement, there was an audible gasp, and as Molly Laughlin looked at Philip in incredulity, he stonily gazed at Dr. Condon.

“How did you help Philip Laughlin, Dr. Condon?”

“By allowing him to tell his story aloud, letting him hear it audibly for himself, and making it take on reality in his life, rather than existing as an intellectual situation. What Philip wanted to achieve required a dose of reality that he did not want to face, and he needed help in doing so. I acted as a good therapist does in that I simply asked questions that would elicit the answers that helped him find what he was looking for. Any good, ethical therapist simply makes it possible for the patient to answer their own questions, rather than supplying the answers.”

“And during these one hundred seventeen sessions with Mr. Laughlin did you, at some point, form a diagnosis, if any that described his condition or situation?”

“I did. Shockingly enough, I determined that Philip Laughlin was suffering from a form of PTSD, and something that most have, by this time, heard of in popular culture, “Stockholm Syndrome”. ‘SS’ is a condition in which one is taken prisoner, and during his imprisonment, the subject forms a bond with his jailer or abuser and irrationally cleaves to them. Mr. Laughlin, in his way, even though he saw the actions of his wife as anathema to his way of thinking, had loved her all the more because he held out perpetual hope that at some point, she would change, and everything would be wonderful. This state of mind is common in relationships between abusers and the abused. Mr. Laughlin’s case is different only in the fact that it was a velvet, loving fist that held and abused him.”

“During your sessions, did Mr. Laughlin ever mention the possibility of some sort of process by which he might be reconciled with his wife?”

“Oh, absolutely not! During our conversations, he not once expressed any desire nor intent to come to any sort of arrangement with his wife that would allow a continuation of their marriage. His sole purpose was to achieve the mental clarity and resolve that would allow him to confront his wife with the declaration that he wanted to be free of their relationship, and to have the strength to resist her possible blandishments in the face of that confrontation.”

“So, this was the “Grow a pair” that you referred to, and then for him to be able to stand against her entreaties in opposition to his leaving?”

“Exactly as you say, Ms. Kline.”

“Now, Dr. Condon, you said that Mr. Laughin exhibited some of the symptoms of PTSD. Why would that be?”

“You have to see it from his viewpoint. Essentially, he had, even before his marriage accepted that his prospective wife proposed that she be able to go entirely against the rules of civilized society and be available to more than one man in a role as an overt sexual partner. And during the marriage, Mr. Laughlin subconsciously lived in dread that one day his wife would simply walk in the door and tell him that she had decided that she intended to also have her second lover’s child and that she would expect him, Mr. Laughlin, to love it and raise it as his own. He lived in that fear and the associated fear that he would not be able to refuse her in light of his devotion to his own child, and his overpowering love for her. As the burden of these fears grew, Mr. Laughlin began to develop suicidal ideation and seldom a day went by that he didn’t consider, internally, how he would accomplish his death. Any action was always curtailed by his ultimate realization that he could not do such a thing because of his daughter.”

At this point, audible weeping was to be heard from both Molly Laughlin and her daughter Patricia.

“Dr. Condon, in your professional opinion, would joint counseling achieve any positive effect on the marriage of Philip Laughlin and Molly Laughlin?”

“I cannot imagine any revelations or concessions that Ms. Laughlin could make that would change Mr. Laughlin’s mind.”

“On another issue, it is my understanding that you also saw Ms. Laughlin in consultation for five sessions. Is that correct?”

Bernard Ruskin shot to his feet, “Your Honor, Ms. Laughin’s relationship with Dr. Condon is undoubtedly covered by patient/client privilege and questioning Dr. Condon about it would be highly irregular!”

Eloise Kline handed a folder down the table until it finally reached the Judge. “Your Honor, we present as evidence a document signed by Michiko Laughlin in which she acknowledges that the sessions that she would have with Dr. Condon were specifically informational in nature, and as such are specifically for the benefit of Philip Laughlin and his treatment and that no true patient/doctor relationship exists between the Dr. Condon and Mrs. Laughlin. The agreement does stipulate that Dr. Condon would be free to discuss his sessions with her in general terms, with no specifics to be revealed.”

Judge Bartelli visibly struggled with the argument for a moment. “I find it jarring to have a mental health professional recount a patient’s thoughts against her will, but in this case, I find no legal barrier to Dr. Condon’s doing so. You may proceed.”

Ms. Kline gazed intently at Dr. Condon, “Doctor, after your conversations with Ms. Laughlin, did you reach certain conclusions about her intentions and psychological makeup, if not a medical diagnosis?”

“I did. I concluded that Molly Laughlin is a generally wonderful person, intelligent, and caring person who normally wouldn’t hurt a fly, but that for twenty-two years had been subjecting her beloved husband Philip to excruciating mental cruelty because of the philosophy of her childhood upbringing. Ms. Laughlin was raised without a father, having no perspective into the role and part a male figure plays in family life, and dealing with that lack in her childhood made her mother’s unconventional but loving lifestyle the model of domestic happiness. She was unable to recognize that what she was asking of Philip Laughlin was markedly different than the relationship that her mother was involved in, in which all parties lived and loved together and were in full agreement with every aspect of the situation. What she seems to have homed in upon was the “Zero-sum love theory” to the exclusion of consideration of Mr. Laughlin’s sensibilities. As long as Ms. Laughlin was able to express her love adequate to her needs, others’ needs seem to be insignificant to her, or, at least, incomprehensible.”

“So, you’re saying that as long as she got what she needed out of life, she wasn’t able to see how it affected others?”

“In essence, yes. But the situation was complicated by the fact that the other man, Mr. Freskin was, apparently, completely in accord with the arrangement. But then, why shouldn’t he be? He was bound by no commitments, was able to pursue his chosen profession without encumberments, had the benefits of Ms. Laughlin’s companionship and her bed when he wanted it, and she loved him. What’s not to like?”

“So, everyone was getting what they wanted except Mr. Laughlin, is that your characterization?”

“He got to live with a beautiful woman who loved him, in his view part of the time, the benefits of two extremely high incomes, and an intelligent daughter who was the light of his life. That was a lot, but it couldn’t ever be enough under the circumstances.”

“So, Dr. Condon, do you have an opinion on the success of the marriage or couples counseling that the plaintiff is asking for?”

“I do. Based upon the time that I have spent with my patient Philip Laughlin, and subsequent time with his wife, it is my opinion that it would not only be a gigantic waste of time, but it would also be injurious to his emotional state. The only purpose the exercise could achieve would be for Mrs. Laughlin to restate her viewpoints endlessly, in differing formats, which she and the plaintiff are both completely familiar with.”

“Your Honor, I have no more question for this witness.”

Judge Bartelli looked at her wristwatch. “Ladies and gentlemen as I said, I have an event this afternoon, so we’re, unfortunately, going to have to carry this over until tomorrow morning at 10:00 AM.”

She rose and left the table as the bailiff spoke a hasty, “The court is adjourned.”

**********

As they walked toward the end of the hallway, Bernard Raffin leaned over to speak quietly into Molly Laughlin’s ear. “Molly, I’m going to tear this doctor a new one when we get back in there. We need to establish that Philip knew what he was getting into when he agreed to the marriage and that the doctor’s treatment didn’t adequately consider that fact. What I intend to show is that his management of Philip’s case was negligent, and that lays the foundation for a future lawsuit against him on your behalf. We need to show that Philip’s decision to leave you was, if not prompted by, was at least encouraged by his sessions with this quack and that he should have been presented with a more balanced set of options.”

Molly stopped short, turned, and placed her hand on her lawyer’s chest. “Bernie, you’re approaching this too aggressively. We’re here to try to get the Judge to order counseling. Doctor Condon, as much as I disagree with how he’s handled Philip’s case, isn’t the issue. The issue is what my husband said on the stand, and how I get the Judge to see my side of the story. You’ve already heard her say how much she respects Frank Condon, and I just think any attempt to make him seem at fault here will backfire and completely turn her against me. What I want to do is speak directly to the court and to everyone involved. Can we do that?”

“Molly, you’re making a mistake here. You think that I’m approaching this too much as a lawyer, but we’re in court; a lawyer’s viewpoint is exactly what you need. This Judge is one of the sharpest legal minds in the United States and she’s going to be moved only by legal arguments. Sure, you could give our closing remarks, but if you think you’re going to sway the judge with emotional maneuvering, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Maybe you’re right, but I’m fighting for my marriage here, and if I don’t do what I feel is right, and I fail, I’d regret it forever. So, that’s what we’re going to do. I’ll speak at the closing, and in the meantime, we’re not going to question Frank Condon’s competence. Are we clear?”

Raffin looked at her intently, shook his head, and said with frustration, “OK whatever you say. We’ll do it your way.”

**********

At 10:AM the next morning the Judge stormed back into the room in a demonstrably bad mood. She sat, took a few deep breaths, and called the court back to order.

“So, Mr. Raffin, do you have any questions for the witness, Dr. Condon?”

“Only a few, your Honor.”

“You may proceed.”

Raffin seemed to be revising his thoughts as he looked at Dr. Condon. “Sir, during your work with Mr. Laughlin, did you determine whether or not he understood the nature of the arrangement that he was entering into with Ms. Laughlin when they agreed to marry?”

“Yes, I did. In my opinion, he understood intellectually what the arrangement consisted of, but I don’t believe that he grasped the emotional import of the difficulties he would be facing.”

“But you didn’t come to the conclusion that Ms. Laughlin deceived him or in any way tricked him into the marriage, is that correct?”

“No, absolutely not. On the contrary, I found that she was extremely forthright and honest in her statement of how she saw her life transpiring, and I have no doubt that Philip Laughin was fully informed when they married.”

“Dr. Condon, during the admittedly short time that you met with Molly Laughlin, did you discern any pathology that would lead you to believe that she ever intentionally hurt her husband?”

“I most assuredly did not. Molly Laughlin, in general, is a very good, caring person, except, I must point out when it comes to the issue of her viewpoint of love and one’s expression of love. On that topic alone, Ms. Laughlin is completely unable to see any viewpoint but her own and tends to become upset when questioned about the issue in any depth. On this subject alone, she seems to take on an almost sociopathic persona.”

“Oh really, doctor? You’re saying now that she suffers from some sort of situational emotional disorder?”

“No, I didn’t say that. The record will show that I said “An ALMOST sociopathic persona. In this Molly’s like the perfect salesman type that companies are always looking for. The perfect salesman is one who, when engaged in the act of selling a customer on a product, falls into a mental state in which he can see only his own point of view regarding that product. He completely disregards or is unable to consider the customer’s viewpoint, allowing him to pursue his sales effort relentlessly, completely unmoved by any obstructive points that the customer might raise. In Molly’s case, despite plain evidence to the contrary that Philip was miserable with the reality of her relationship with Mr. Freskin, she seemed completely oblivious to the fact that there was anything wrong with her marriage. We heard evidence that there were signs that he resented the visits Ms. Laughlin paid Mr. Freskin, that he was torn by the knowledge of the hours she spent in sexual congress with the man. I certainly don’t ascribe this lack of awareness to any bad intent, or selfishness on her part. I just believe that she was emotionally unable to comprehend how an intelligent person couldn’t be in complete accord with her view of the situation.”

“So, to sum up, you agree that Ms. Laughlin was in no way malicious in her treatment of Mr. Laughlin?”

“I agree completely Mr. Raffin, but I would ask the court this question….”

Raffin interrupted, “Thank you, Dr. Condon! Your Honor, I have no further questions for this witness.”

The judge looked at Frank Condon and said, “I think that I’d like to have you ask the court that question, Doctor.”

Raffin was irritated but had enough experience to know that he would get nowhere challenging the judge.

Condon smiled and said, “Thank you, your Honor. I was answering the question about whether Ms. Laughlin was malicious in her treatment of Mr. Laughlin.”

“As I said, while I do not believe that Ms. Laughlin was malicious, I have to ask the question: If I accidentally run over your foot with an automobile, does the fact that it wasn’t intentional make you suffer any less injury?”

The Judge gazed at Frank Condon shrewdly as Bernard Raffin sighed in resignation.

As the parties waited and shuffled in their seats, the judge looked back at some paperwork and made notes on a few pages. Finally, she looked up at the table. “I’m going to give both parties the opportunity to sum up, and I’ll expect you to be brief. Mr. Raffin, since Ms. Laughlin is asking that counseling be ordered, you will be going first.”

“Your Honor, Ms. Laughlin will be speaking on her own behalf,” he said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

The Judge looked intently at Molly Laughlin. “Ms. Laughlin, do you fully understand that, despite the informal venue that we’re in, this is a court of law, and that we’re on the record? Do you further understand that I advise you strongly not to pursue such a path?”

Molly, returned her look and said, “I do understand, you Honor.”

“Very well”, the Judge said, “You may proceed, but be advised that you will address your remarks only to the bench, and not to your husband or any other party in the courtroom.”

Seemingly taken aback for a moment, Molly took a deep breath, gathered her thoughts, and began.

“Your Honor, love is a nebulous concept, and I believe if you asked a hundred people what the word means, you’d receive a hundred different answers. But for me, love is fidelity, companionship, satisfaction with one’s home life, and the overwhelming feelings of intimacy that can be shared with your mate. That’s what I’ve felt and, I think, had with Philip Laughlin. We’ve shared the deepest secrets of our lives, we’ve been witness to the most embarrassing things that can happen to a person, and we’ve nursed one another in times of sickness; we’ve shared each other’s triumphs and sorrows, and the happiest times of both our lives.”

“One of the parts of the love I just described is fidelity, and I believe with all my heart that I have been faithful to Philip in every single way that I promised. I told Philip before we married that if I could be married to both him and Sam Freskin, my life would be complete. I told him in great detail how I felt about Sam and how I feel about him to this day, and I believed him when he said that he understood and that he could live with the realities entailed in a polyamorous relationship. I think he understood me then, and I think he understands me today. I also think that he loved me then and that he loves me today.”

“I believe that, somewhere along the line, Philip’s view of our relationship changed in some way, and that rather than discussing it with me, he just kept his dissatisfaction inside and let it fester. Your Honor, I truly believe that, given the chance, I can explain more completely to Philip exactly how much I love him, how much I need him, and why he should give our marriage the consideration that it deserves. That’s all I want your Honor, the opportunity that I believe I’m due after nearly twenty-two years of marriage. Thank you, your Honor.”

“Ms. Kline, do you have any closing remarks?”

“Your Honor, we believe the testimony speaks for itself, and have no further remarks?”

“Very well. In that case, I’ll have a few questions for some of the parties involved.

Bernie Raffin spoke out, “Your Honor this highly irregular.”

The Judge looked at him with irritation. “Be quiet Mr. Raffin. This isn’t a classroom, and, in case you forgot, it is most assuredly my courtroom.”

Raffin looked down as the flush spread upward from his collar.

Judge Bartelli looked glanced and forth between the two attorneys. “How come neither of you called Mr. Freskin to testify, if for no other reason as a fact witness?”

Raffin responded, “Your Honor, we saw no further relevant information that he could provide.”

Eloise Kline grinned her piranha smile and said, “Oh we tried to subpoena him your Honor, but, as you may not know now Brigadier General Freskin is Assistant Director of the Joint Military Cyber-Command, and as such breathes the rarified air of the upper echelons of the United States intelligence community. When we tried to compel him to testify, Justice Department lawyers descended on us like a flock of crows, cawing about potential security issues, how none of the parties or jurists associated with this action were cleared for that level of classified material or information, and that they might let us have him in a ‘timely manner’ like in a couple of years or so. We tried to tell them that we only had questions about the personal life of Gen. Freskin, but they stated, and this is a quote, ‘General Freskin doesn’t have a private life. ”

The Judge grinned malevolently. “Really? Well, there’s nothing we can do about it ‘in a timely manner’, but I can guarantee that I’ll find a way to let our friend the Attorney General know that his people don’t play well with others.”

“OK on to other topics; Patricia Laughlin, I have a couple of questions for you.”

Patricia jerked upright in her chair, seemingly shocked by her being singled out at this point.

“Ms. Laughlin, at what point in your life did you become aware that the relationship between your mother and father was out of the ordinary?”

Her eyes jittered back and forth between her parents, and she felt short of breath. “I suppose when I was about eight years old, your Honor”.

“Young woman don’t make me drag things out of you! Why then, and how did that awareness come about”?

“As I said before, my mom had always told me stories about her best friend Sam Freskin, and so when she told me that she and I were going to visit him for a weekend, I didn’t think much of it. We met off base and stayed in a suite at a hotel, and I remember having a really good time. I did also notice that mom and Sam acted toward one another the same way that she and daddy did, that they were affectionate and walked holding hands, things like that. I don’t know what I really thought, but I did know that their friendship was very special.”

“Apparently at some point, your mother more fully explained their relationship to you?”

“Yes, when I was probably twelve, when we visited Sam in Italy, the night before we left, she told me that daddy was pretty upset with her for taking me off for two weeks, and she wanted to explain to me why the trip was important to her. She told me that it was twenty-five years since she and Sam knew they were in love and that this was a sort of anniversary trip that she wanted to share that special event with me, to show me how wonderful love could be when seen in the right light. She told me she’d talk with me about it at greater length when I was older but that I should have fun and enjoy all the wonderful museums and sights we’d see.”

Judge Bartelli’s small black eyes glittered dangerously as she glanced at Molly Laughlin, and then looked back to Patricia. “Did she more fully explain her feelings about love at a later time?”

“Yes ma’am, she did. As I went into my teens, and my dating years, she explained how love knows no bounds and that denying that completely ignores human history. She said I should always be moral and kind about my relationships, but that I should keep in mind that denying that you can love more than one person just leads to deceit and possible misery.”

“Thank you, Ms. Laughlin, I’ll leave you in peace now.”

“Doctor Laughlin, if I were to grant your request for mandatory counseling, what is your plan for convincing Philip that he should give your marriage another chance. What facts would you present to him that would lead him to believe that life in the future would be different than life in the past?”

Molly Laughlin appeared very flustered, completely taken aback for a moment, but being an experienced public speaker, she gathered her thoughts and said, “Your Honor, as I mentioned, I’d simply remind him of all that we’ve been through, what we’ve shared, and that I thought that we were in accord on how our marriage would be conducted.”

The Judge looked at her skeptically over her glasses, and said, “But no plans for what you could do differently in spite of the apparent fact that your husband doesn’t’ think it’s working?”

Molly, at a loss for words, simply shook her head.

“And no thought at all that you’d be willing to stop your relationship with Mr., no excuse me, General Freskin to save your marriage?”

“No, your Honor. My relationship with Sam Freskin is as important to me as my relationship with Philip, and I wouldn’t be willing to give up either for the other.”

The Judge looked at her speculatively. “OK, then.”

She glanced over at Philip Laughlin, “Mr. Laughlin, if your wife were to offer to give up her relationship with Col. Freskin, would that make you more amenable to counseling and the possible resolution of your marital difficulties?”

Philip Laughlin snorted and said, “Not just no, your Honor, but HELL NO! For over nineteen years, every time I’ve watched her walk out that door on her way to sleep with a guy who contributes nothing to her daily life but talk to her on the phone. It has been like tearing open a gash in my chest that she put there in the first place. But, you know, over the years, it quit hurting. It’s as if my love for that beautiful girl with a huge brain and bigger heart was burned out by an increasingly self-centered and uncaring bitch. Oh, she never treated me badly domestically or sexually, unless you consider fucking another man, but those years of oblivious inattention to how badly she was hurting me killed any residual love I had for her. All I want out of the rest of my life is for none of it to have to do with Molly Laughlin.”

The Judge took a deep breath and said, “I find that mandatory marriage counseling would have no beneficial effect in a resolution of this marriage, and the request is denied.”

“Counsel, are there further motions to be entertained? Mr. Raffin, you go first.”

“No motions from Ms. Laughlin at this time, you Honor.”

“Ms. Kline?”

“Yes, your Honor, Philip Laughlin would like to request a Restraining Order barring Michiko Laughlin from contacting him or attempting to contact him directly either telephonically, digitally, by means of surface mail, or through third parties other than his attorneys. Further that she remains a minimum of one hundred feet from Mr. Laughlin, and if they inadvertently encounter one another in a public place, she takes immediate reasonable steps to remove herself to the one-hundred-foot distance.”

“And what is your reasoning for requesting this order, Ms. Kline”?

“Your Honor, you have heard testimony from Dr. Condon indicating that Mr. Laughlin had descended into a depressive state during his marriage to his wife, but since separating from her, he has improved and that his anxiety and depression have substantially improved. Ms. Laughlin has made repeated attempts to call Mr. Laughlin, leaving several messages per day on his voicemail, and also sends him several e-mails daily. Further, she has enlisted the aid of mutual friends and her daughter in an effort to cajole her husband into talking to her. For the sake of his emotional health and stability, we ask that the order be granted.”

“Mr. Raffin, your response, sir.”

“Your Honor, while it is true that Ms. Laughlin has made attempts to contact her husband, none have been harassing in nature, and only reflect the wishes of a loving wife to re-establish contact with her husband in the hope of salvaging their marriage. Further, no evidence has been presented to establish that Ms. Laughlin bears any malice toward her husband or wishes him any harm. We ask that the order be denied.”

“OK, give me a moment. You make talk among yourselves for five minutes.”

While the parties in the conference room murmured, the Judge went into what appeared to be a meditative state with her hands clasped as if in prayer, in front of her mouth. She did not look to the left or right and seemed to be in deep thought. At the two-minute mark, she looked up, and said, “OK, everyone listen up.”

“The request for the Restraining Order is granted. Any other motions?”

Eloise Kline said, “Yes, your Honor, Mr. Laughlin further requests a Restraining Order against Patricia Laughlin with the same limitations and citing the same reasons.”

At this, there was a loud sob from Patricia Laughlin, and she sprang from her chair and ran out of the room.

Judge Bartelli took a deep breath, looked sadly at Philip Laughlin, and said, “The Restraining Order is granted.”

Michiko Laughlin looked at Philip Laughlin for the first time as if he was someone she didn’t know.

The Judge stated generally, “My clerk will contact counsel with the scheduling dates for trial. Court stands adjourned.”

Everyone stood slowly and filed out of the room. When in the hall, a furious Molly Laughlin stalked directly for Philip.

“HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT? A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOUR OWN DAUGHTER?”

By this time Eloise Kline was between the two and the Bailiff, sensing trouble had grasped Molly’s arm.

Eloise said, “Doctor Laughlin, at this time, I must inform you that you are in violation of a Protective Order and are subject to arrest. Please think carefully before you proceed further.”

The Bailiff gently moved her backward, aided by Bernard Raffin. Bernie was muttering in her ear, “Molly, don’t do this, you’re doing yourself no favors and could get in real trouble. Come now…”

She watched Philip as he proceeded down the hallway with his legal team and wondered how he became so vicious.

…………..

FINALE

As Michiko Laughlin left the courthouse with Patricia and her lawyers, she felt a vibration from her smart phone, and saw a text from Sam.

12:20 PM — Sam Rifkin: “I think you might need some lunch and a friendly ear. I’ve sent a car for you. Should be at the curb in front of the courthouse.”

She looked up and scanning the street saw a black Chevrolet Suburban, with heavily tinted windows parked obviously in a no-parking zone at the curb. A young U.S. Army captain stepped out of the vehicle and approached her. With a respectful nod of his head, he said, “Mrs. Laughlin, General Freskin’s compliments, and he wonders if you would join him for lunch? I can take you to him now.”

Molly sighed in relief. Sam was there for her and would help her get through this nightmare, would make everything all right.

“I’d love to see the general Andy, and thanks for your help.”