There’s always one person in your life who makes you evaluate your path, ensuring you’re living the life you truly want to live. For me, that person was a particular girl who had been in my life for a very long time. In fact, my eye has seldom strayed from her and the pedestal I, and others in our families, placed her on.
Then she turned up pregnant at nineteen. Upon refusing to confirm the identity of the baby’s father, most people assumed it was someone in a high-ranking power position in her life. Whether the position was scholarly or professionally remained up in the air. The situation almost ruined the perfect fantasy I had built up around her.
The spoiled princess fell from her ivory tower and disappointment came at her from every which way on the way down. I was sad at the revelation, but I also couldn’t fathom not having her around. Besides, my father would turn over in his grave if I turned my back on my little sister. With everyone pushing me to leave her behind as a fuck-up who ruined her life, she simply became more appealing to me.
They should never have expected the delinquent of the family to shy away from the forbidden fruit being kept from him.
She was having a hard time shortly after having the baby, a son who she devoted her life to from the moment they placed him in her arms. It was an experience I’ll never forget as my mom and I were the only ones willing to be at her side during the process.
A nurse snapped a picture with the four of us in it, assuming I was the father and my mom was the grandma. She didn’t realize this girl was only my step-sister, the youngest daughter of the woman who derailed my mother and father’s marriage.
Mom and I never set the nurse straight, the details were unimportant and all that mattered was Julia didn’t go it alone through something so traumatic.
In the months following Ty’s birth, I noticed her trying so hard to be the single super-hero mom doing everything on her own. I saw her getting more and more exhausted as her weight dropped and the circles under her normally pristine skin began to darken.
So, I stopped in one afternoon and insisted, “I’m family, let me give you a little break. You’ve been going non-stop for six months now, Jules.”
She was hesitant to even let me hold him, but her resolve was weakening and eventually, she put her son in my arms. Resigning herself to the fact she couldn’t do and be everything for this kid, no matter how much she wanted it was difficult for her.
I was great with him. I got him laughing and squealing in delight at my antics as Julia watched us with the nervous gaze of a first-time mom.
“See, he’s fine with me,” I said as she pushed her hair behind her ear and bit her lower lip. “Just two guys hanging out being bros, right little man?”
Tyler squealed and laughed in delight as I bounced him in my arms.
Julia furrowed her brow but acquiesced and left her son in my care while she allowed herself the time to sit and soak in the bathtub for the first time since she had him.
Julia is the girl I can’t push from my mind.
When my dad left my mom, he became Julia’s stepfather and brought her into my life as something more than a forgotten acquaintance following the failed friendship of our mothers.
She became my sister.
We only interacted with each other when my mom forced dad to take me for a weekend, whether he wanted to or not. Julia’s mom saw me as nothing but a delinquent growing up. She didn’t want me to rub off on the sweet little brunette honor roll student who she forced into a protective tower. So, my weekends with dad were often camping trips or overnight trips to other cities nearby.
At least, they were until Julia got wind of our adventures and became jealous. Jules raised such a stink that her mom finally caved and allowed me to sully her home with my presence rather than allowing us to take Julia with us on our adventures; after all, we were guys and we couldn’t be trusted.
It didn’t take long before I figured out the sweet little brunette honor roll student was something of a secret delinquent herself.
I took the blame for her on quite a few occasions. If I didn’t her mom would have blamed me anyway — meaning I would get punished for not only being a deviant but for lying about it and trying to ruin her daughter’s perfect image as well.
Julia was both dumbfounded by my willingness to take the fall for her, and appreciative I didn’t rat her out. I didn’t have a choice, though, as the alternative was never seeing her or my dad again.
Her mom was psychotic, and if anyone was contributing to Julia’s delinquency, it was her. She put an insane amount of pressure onto a literal child so she could appear to be the perfect mom to outsiders.
After dad died, Jules and I grew closer. We even developed the sibling bond we’d missed out on by growing up together but separate at the same time. Her mother hated it, but we bonded over the loss of my father. Considering her own father died shortly before she was born, my dad was the only dad she ever knew.
Since having Ty, Julia and her mom were going through a rough patch. The embarrassment of the college dropout who got knocked up and wouldn’t name the bastard child’s father hung over their relationship.
I was standing in her kitchen with her six-month-old son, dancing around to make him laugh while I made some pasta and she practiced a little self-care. I knew Julia hadn’t had a real meal in a long time. She had an apple here, a bite of a sandwich there, but she didn’t slow down for herself.
On that day, I was seeing to it she did.
She had a towel wrapped around her and her hair bound up in an old t-shirt when I turned around from the stove, “You’re cooking while you hold him?!” she snapped as she rushed over towards us.
I held him away from her and dropped the spoon back into the sauce pot, “Stop, Jules. I’m being careful. He’s not going to get hurt — I promise.”
Tyler started to tear up and I resumed dancing around the kitchen with him, getting him laughing, then I grabbed Julia’s hand and twirled her with us. A deep scowl contorted her usually soft-featured and smiling face. I started singing as we danced together and her scowl softened but the stiff muscles remained.
I guided her over to the bar and sat her in a chair then returned to making dinner for her as Tyler began to suck on his hand. I looked down then looked back to Julia, “Alright, mom, you’re up, I don’t have the equipment he’s looking for,” I said with a laugh as I handed him off to her.
She started to get up and I stopped her, “Stay and talk to me while I finish up dinner, I won’t look,” I said.
Julia nodded and I turned away so she could feed Tyler in private without being alone, “Do you still hate olives in salads?” I asked.
“Yeah. You… you made a salad while holding him?” she asked, an obvious panic in her tone.
I laughed, “No, I’m about to make a salad though. Cooking with a baby in my arms is one thing. Handling a knife around grabby baby fingers is another.”
I let everything simmer together for the last few minutes while I threw together a simple salad for us and pulled the bread from the oven. I could feel her watching me and, as much as I wanted to look and sneak a peek while she fed her kid, I kept my word and my gaze remained focused on the stove, at least mostly.
“How did you do all of this while holding him?” she asked, sounding incredulous at my feat.
“I was the oldest in my family. I know you were the youngest in yours, but I grew up helping my mom with my younger siblings. It becomes second nature after a while,” I said as I glanced back, not trying to catch her exposed, just forgetting it wasn’t a normal conversation momentarily.
I blushed as her tit was on full display while she swapped her son to the other side. She was looking down at him and I looked away, but I’d be lying if I said the trickle of milk on the nipple she switched from wasn’t arousing to me.
I pushed it from my mind. She’s a mom, she’s nursing, it isn’t a sexual thing and I shouldn’t be making it into one. That perversion is all on me.
I started prepping the table and had everything plated and ready right as the little man fell asleep. I went over and got him from her as she covered herself back up, “You go sit at the table and eat while I put Ty to bed. I’ll be right back out to join you, okay?”
She nodded, a dreamy look on her face, “It smells wonderful,” she said.
I smiled and took Tyler down the hall to his nursery. He was out — a milk coma. I turned on the baby monitor and brought the receiver back out to the table with us. Julia looked ravenous as she savored every bite of the spaghetti and meat sauce, “This is so good, Derry,” she said as she looked up at me.
“I’m guessing it’s been a while since you had something home-cooked?” I asked.
She nodded, “I haven’t had time to cook lately. I’m still trying to find a job that will let me work around my mom’s hours so she can watch him for me and no one wants to budge on it. The money your dad left me is running out and I’m stuck. I don’t know how to work around all of it and still be a good mom to Ty.”
My brow furrowed, “Have you reached out to my mom?”
She stopped eating and looked at me, a certain nervousness was evident on her face, but I dismissed it, “No… Why would I reach out to your mom?”
“You’re family and she runs a daycare. Plus, she’s still on me about settling down and having kids of my own. She’s desperate for grandbabies and my siblings and I are not delivering.”
“I can barely afford to keep things going here right now, I can’t afford a daycare for Ty,” she said.
I laughed, “You’re family, Jules. Mom’s not gonna charge you for watching Ty. She’s going to beg you to bring him by more often for the opportunity to take care of a baby with a familial connection to her — even if not direct family.”
She started eating again and seemed deep in thought, “You think she would?”
“Want me to call her and ask now?”
Julia shook her head, “Tomorrow maybe? I have an interview at ten… if… if I can find someone to watch him for regular business hours I could actually have a shot at landing the job.”
“I’ll call in the morning and ask her. In the meantime, eat. You look like you’ve been starving yourself,” I teased.
She lifted her fork and pointed it at me, “Because I have been, to a degree anyway. I didn’t know this would be so hard and I don’t know how other moms do it.”
We finished eating and she insisted on doing the dishes. I let her, but I helped dry and put them away. Then I grabbed her hand and started singing and dancing around the kitchen with her again.
She smiled and I felt the tension easing in her body. She was relaxing for the first time in months, most likely. We danced over to the couch, where I sat down and pulled her down to the floor in front of me.
“Sit here for a minute,” I said as I put my legs on either side of her, “let me give you a massage so you aren’t all stiff and uptight at your interview in the morning.”
She put her hand on mine and looked back at me, “Why are you always the one reaching out and taking care of me? My actual family sees me as the disappointment who got knocked up by a mystery man, then dropped out of college — why do you look past that?”
“Jules… I’m the delinquent remember? I’ve gotta make it look like I’m corrupting you so your mom will blame me for being a bad influence on you. She can’t accept holding you under her thumb made you crave little tastes of rebellion instead of keeping you prim and proper as she wanted,” I smiled as she pouted.
“You were never a delinquent Derry,” she said.
“Pot… pot… E… condoms… dirty magazines… pot… heroin… pot… E…,” I said as I looked up to the ceiling, “Yeah, I was the delinquent.”
She tugged my hand, “Why did you take the blame for me?”
“Because if it was you who got caught with that shit then your mom would’ve had the proof she needed to show my dad I was a bad influence on you. Dad would have had to choose between me and your mom. Regardless of what choice he made — I’d never get to see you again. Don’t tell my other siblings, but you were always my favorite,” I said as I rubbed her shoulders.
She shrugged me off of her and got up, “I need to check on Ty.”
I sighed and leaned back on the couch as my fingertips rubbed my temples. What a dumb thing to admit to. We were less than a week apart in age and I thought it was awesome. I had a little sister who I could talk to and be real with without having to dumb shit down or baby her because she was so much younger than me.
Our moms both hated us being so close in age. They had been friends for a long time before we were born. They even still had photos from their joint baby shower which offered a ‘future wedding’ theme for me and Julia while we were in utero. Kinda gross.
As Julia and I got older, and my dad left my mom for hers, I think her mom was afraid I’d be a real teen delinquent and fuck around with Jules.
But, damn, I had some morals as a teenager. I could appreciate that my step-sister was amazing and gorgeous without needing to cross any boundaries with her. Why my mom hated us being so close in age? I didn’t know, but I’ve long suspected it had something to do with my dad cheating on her. Part of the reason I never thought I could act on my feelings with Julia was the little inkling in the back of my head which told me my dad could also be her dad.
When Julia came back out, she had on a nightshirt I bought her for her sixteenth birthday. It was big on her at the time and I laughed when I saw it, “Oh my god,” I said, “You still have that thing?”
She tugged on it, it was much tighter — particularly around her breasts — and shorter than it used to be, and shrugged, “It’s still my favorite thing to sleep in.”
Julia climbed on the couch with me, “Are you going to stay the night?” she asked.
“Do you need me to?”
She nodded and I smiled, “Then I’ll stay the night.”
I held my arms open and shifted on the couch so she could climb in front of me and I could hold her, “Movie?” I asked.
Julia shook her head, “You figured it out, didn’t you?” a noticeable tremble to her voice as the words escaped her.
I played dumb, “Figured what out, Jules?”
“Who Ty’s dad is,” she said as she looked up at me.
“I have a theory.”
“Who’s your theory?”
I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Someone who knows he’s never touched you like that.”
She wiped a few tears from her eyes, “I’m sorry,” she said.
I held her close to me and repeated my earlier question, “Movie?”
She nodded and I reached for the remote, flipping through the options until we landed on Labyrinth, our favorite movie growing up. I pulled her to me and breathed in the scent of her shampoo — honey and jasmine, as always. She clung to my arm and I closed my eyes.
I was the delinquent, but she was the one who paid a girl to sleep with me and bring her back the, apparently non-spermicidal, condoms we used. Ty wasn’t an accident and I wish I’d figured it out fully on my own.
The girl Julia paid dumped me right before Ty was born. She said it was too weird when I doted on Jules and I didn’t get why at the time. I wrote her off as crazy because she was jealous I was taking care of family, not going to clubs and shit like she wanted.
I didn’t put it together until mom got a baby picture of Tyler and put it in the corner of a frame that held a baby picture with me and Jules together — from when our moms were still friends and didn’t hate each other.
When the pit of uncertainty in my stomach became unbearable, I called my ex up and begged her to tell me what she knew. She told me everything. She called Jules a crazy incestuous cunt and I went off, defending my step-sister while trying to process the notion Ty was my kid. At the same time I was outright denying my sister could do something that underhanded and manipulative.
But thinking about the way Julia looked at me since Tyler was born… like she was constantly on edge, just waiting for me to find out and hate her. Yeah it made me question it enough for me to have a buddy who worked pediatrics at the office Julia took Ty to do a DNA test when Ty went for his six-month check-up. I should’ve asked if it showed any signs pointing to “more than average” familial links, but I wasn’t ready to know that much yet.
Julia moved in her sleep and my grip on her tightened. “Jules,” I whispered.
She stirred and moaned a soft, half-asleep, “Hmm?”
“Can you tell me why?” I asked.
I stroked her hand as she looked at me, “I didn’t have a reason,” she replied.
“I don’t believe you. You know it’s going to get out in time. Someone is going to notice. When it does they’re all going to assume I either manipulated you, seduced you or… or even forced you, and I haven’t touched you like that, ever.”
She nodded, “I’ll tell them what I did if it gets out.”
“They will think you’re trying to protect me. You tried to take the blame for the heroin dad found in my room… I got sent to rehab for a drug I didn’t even use, and had never used. You got chastised for being an enabler by trying to take the fall.”
I moved my hand up to her cheek, caressing her, “Please tell me why?” I asked her.
Tyler started crying and I clenched my jaw as I let her up from the couch. I waited a few minutes then went to Tyler’s room and watched her change his diaper, then pat his back and rock him until he fell back to sleep. She put him back to bed and came to the door with me.
She tried to push past me but I grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the wall outside of our son’s bedroom.
My lips were right beside her ear, “Tell me why,” I said as my grip on her wrists tightened, giving away the slight anger I held for the situation.
Her breath caught and she spoke in a strained whisper, “Because I knew you’d be there for him even if you never found out he was yours. Because I trust you. Because… because… everyone tried to keep us apart and I hated it.”
She lifted her head and looked at me, neither of us were hiding the glossy sheen of tears threatening to fall from our eyes, “I’m sorry, Derry. I… I’m a fucking mess if you haven’t noticed and I’m so sorry I dragged you into this against your will, but I love our son and I love you,” the catch in her voice made my tears flow first.
My grip on her wrists softened and I pulled her to me, embracing her in a tight hug as she cried hard on my chest. We sat down on the floor and I held her to me, “I’m not asking you for anything,” she whispered between wracked sobs. “You didn’t ask for this… it was my choice… he’s my responsibility and I will take care of him and I don’t expect you to… to interrupt your life because… because…”
My hand stroked her hair down her back, “Shhh,” I said as I soothed her.
Her sobs gave her hiccups as I patted her back and held her. I looked in the door to Tyler’s room, he was fast asleep in his crib. I weighed out my options from this point forward in a two-second thought. I didn’t take the time to process before saying the thought out loud.
“We could both save some money by moving in together,” I offered.
“There’s not a third bedroom?” she said, choked in sobs.
“I can sleep on the couch. My place is a studio, I sleep on the couch there too.”
“You don’t have to… you shouldn’t feel obligated. You didn’t have any part in creating him, not really, I mean,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m kinda disappointed in that, actually,” I said as my gaze searched her face for any hint of disgust at the insinuation.
She leaned up beside me, her lips hovered over mine and I let her connect us in a soft kiss. I didn’t pull away, but I didn’t kiss her back either. Her lips stuck to mine as she pulled away. “Me too,” she whispered.
I went and got the baby monitor from the other room then came back and pulled her up to her feet. Taking her hand, I led her down the hall to her bedroom and put the baby monitor on the bedside table. She climbed onto her bed and didn’t let my hand go, pulling me gently towards her bed.
I had no resolve and it was only a moment before I climbed into the bed behind her. We didn’t say another word. She moved back against me until her head was on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her and settled into the bed. At some point, her soft-hiccuping sobs subsided and we both fell asleep.
When I woke in the morning the bed was empty and a smoky bacon scent filtered into the room. I smiled and dragged my still clothed ass out of her bed and down the hall to the kitchen. Ty sat in his high chair as Julia hummed and danced around the kitchen, a very different demeanor from the night before.
I couldn’t help but sneak up behind her, wrapping my arms around her and picking her up like I did when we were younger. She yelped and squirmed, almost causing me to drop her before I sat her back down. Then she looked at me and laughed as she pushed me away with a playful punch to the shoulder. Ty was laughing too, dipping his hands in a mess of baby food and entertaining himself by splashing it as much as he was eating it from his fist.
Julia waved her spatula at me, “You are handsy in your sleep.” She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face even as she tried to appear threatening.
“Protective,” I said. “I’m protective of you and you kept trying to pull away.”
“You’re allowed to hate me, you know?” she said, changing the jovial tone of the morning to a more somber one. “What I did… I’m pretty sure it’s illegal.”
I sighed and she turned her attention back to the breakfast as I spoke, “Jules, I don’t hate you. I hate that I didn’t know until now. I hate that you would resort to something so fucked up. But you? I don’t think I could ever hate you.”
She turned the stove and oven off then put a plate down in front of me, crescent-shaped pancakes and bacon with maple syrup and strawberries. I smiled as I looked at her, “I haven’t had your pancakes in a long time.” I tried to look serious, concerned even, as I continued, “Do they still have eggshells in them or have you adjusted the recipe?”
Julia hit my shoulder in a playful gesture, “Don’t be an asshole. It’s the first time I’ve cooked since having him, so pretend the crunchy bits are intentional,” she said with a smirk.
She sat down next to me and I was struck by how much of a brother-sister relationship we’d had up until then. We could joke and rib each other without either one taking offense. We were comfortable with one another.
But this situation undoubtedly changed the dynamic of our relationship going forward. We wouldn’t ever have the familial comfort of just hanging out with each other again. I was almost sad to think that innocence was gone. It had turned into something more sexual without us knowing the intimacy of each other.
I couldn’t help but look over at her as she ate, “Is he going to know?”
“What?”
“Tyler… is he going to know I’m his dad?”
She shook her head, “If he knows, everyone else will, too.”
“He’s going to want to know something about it eventually.”
“I’ll deal with that when the time comes. How did you find out anyway?”
“Mom put his baby picture in the frame with the picture of me and you together as babies. You know, the one our moms had taken before my mom found out my dad was screwing your mom and they were still best friends? I saw him and I saw us and I thought about what Allie said when she broke up with me.
“I didn’t understand when she first told me but seeing the three of us at similar ages and so close together… I couldn’t deny it anymore. Believe me, I tried for a few months,” I said.
I put my fork and knife down and looked over at Tyler then back to my sister, “You’re a great mom to him, but you need help. You’re wearing yourself down and it’s not good for you or him. Let me move in — let me help. I’m still working as an apprentice electrician, I make decent money. We can live together as family helping each other out. I’m not expecting anything from you, Jules. I just… I don’t want to be like dad was with me, half there even when it was just me and him. I want to be a positive figure in his life even if he can’t know I’m his dad.”
She nodded, “I’d like that, but I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
I leaned over and pulled her to me, my lips close to her ear, “Out of love, little sister, not obligation.”
She blushed and I kissed her temple. We finished breakfast, and Tyler finished painting with his breakfast then we got him cleaned up. I took him to my mom’s house while Julia went to her interview. As I suspected, mom was over the moon when she saw me walk in with him.
She immediately took him from me, cooing and babying him as he laughed in delight, “Aren’t you going to make me explain?”
She looked at me and scowled, “No, I see a baby, I take care of the baby. You go away and leave me and my grandbaby in peace so I can spoil him on Miss Julia.”
“Grandbaby?” I asked, trying to hide the nervous clenching of my fists by putting my hands in my pockets.
“I was Julia’s Godmother before your dad and Fran decided to start screwing around. As far as I’m concerned, she’s still my goddaughter and that makes this beautiful boy my god-grandson.”
“You’re not even gonna ask why I have him or where Julia is?”
“Miss Julia is at an interview, where I’ve put in a good word for her. She’s going to get the job. The interview is merely a formality. I assume you have him because she needed someone to watch him for the interview,” she said still smiling and cooing at Tyler as he laughed.
“How do you always know everything?” I asked.
She smirked and looked at me, “I may seem like a homebody, but I network with a lot of powerful people. Mr. Jacobs is the man Julia is interviewing with today. His son is in my morning pre-k class. Mr. Jacobs needed a secretary and was complaining about all the stuff he had to get done for the day one morning. I told him I knew a girl looking for a job, very dedicated, hard worker, a new mom that needed a boost. He told me to send her in, so I offhandedly mentioned the opening to Julia when I dropped off some diapers for Ty last week.”
Her attention turned back to Tyler, her smile and bouncing of him continued, much to his delight, “I hate what Julia’s mom and your father did to me, but I love Julia like she’s my own. She’s got no part in what they did. Tell her to reach out to me when she needs help so I don’t have to connive and plot to get to see this sweet boy.”
I smiled, “Yes, Ma’am.”
“And, Derry,” she said, stopping me in my tracks with her tone, “I know you’re going to want to help her, but don’t put yourself, or her, in a position where rumors can take hold. Everyone sees you as siblings. Whatever happened last year… keep it in last year.”
And there it was. She knew. She thinks I fucked my step-sister and got her pregnant, but she’s going to keep quiet and play along for both our sakes.
I tilted my head and looked back at her, “What are you talking about, mom?”
She put Tyler down on a play mat and walked over to me, “You were both eighteen when things got started, right? I know you were born within a week of each other, but her mom will try to make trouble if she finds out — even if she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”
“When things got started with who?”
“Don’t act like I’m an idiot, Derry. I moved Ty’s picture so it wouldn’t be so obvious, but you better hope her mom didn’t do the same thing I did when I first got Ty’s picture. She already thinks the worst of you. If she figures out you’re the one that got Julia pregnant, she will go ballistic.”
“Got… are you kidding me? I haven’t done more than hug Jules or kiss her forehead. You’re barking up the wrong tree, Ma,” I said.
It wasn’t a lie.
She sighed and looked at me, “She’s your sister. I know she’s only your step-sister, but she’s still your sister, Derry. It doesn’t matter how much you like her, it can’t happen again.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose then looked my mom in the eyes, “I haven’t fucked Julia. I swear on Gran and Dad. I have never touched Julia like that. Whatever you think you’re seeing in his picture… it has to be in your head because I have not had sex with my sister. I’ve had sex with a few of her friends… but not her, Ma.”
She was skeptical and looked back over to Tyler as he crawled around the mat, “So if I had a friend run a DNA test on him and you?”
I held out my arm and rolled up my sleeve, “Go for it. I haven’t touched Julia,” I said with more authority than I thought I could muster.
She scowled but nodded, “Fine. I believe you. Go do your thing and tell Julia to swing by after her interview so we can get Tyler onto the schedule for her work hours.”
It took my all to leave my mother’s house without her noticing how weak my legs became when I called her bluff.
It distracted me at work all morning and I almost got myself killed while doing some simple rewiring on a light fixture. My boss noticed and sent me home with some advice, “Once you’re in that van, your head is on wiring and the dangers it brings. Otherwise, whatever girl is dancing around in your head is going to be very sad when the last time she sees you is with your casket closing.”
Harsh, but accurate.
When I got back to my apartment, I looked around and started packing my stuff up. After a while, I texted Julia, I only need a place to put my computer, games, clothes, and movies, the rest of my shit is pretty worthless.
I’ll clear space for you. I appreciate you doing this so I don’t have to move Ty into my room and get a proper roommate, she sent back.
Cuts my rent in half, lets me hang out with my nephew more, and puts me in a better part of town. This isn’t altruistic and you know it. Love you, Jules. Will have my stuff packed up and ready to move by Friday.
See you then and thanks again for reaching out to your mom for me. Tyler was so giggly when I got him from her.
She has that effect on babies, but it stops being effective in the pre-teen years, as you well know from my deviant behavior.
A laughing emoji and a, sleep well, were the last messages I got from her before I fell asleep.
It was a long week of work and packing, but some buddies jumped in to help me move. One even got in touch with my landlord to take over my apartment right away, without us having to remove any of the remaining furniture and shit.
Once I had my boxes moved in, I set up a blanket and sheet on the couch and was ready to go to bed when Julia gave me an odd look, “What?” I asked.
“You’re actually planning on sleeping on the couch?”
“Yeah…”
“My bed is big enough for us both,” her fingers clasped in front of her as she twisted her hips slightly.
I smiled and shook my head, “My mom suspects Tyler’s mine, Jules. If we get any midnight visitors, I don’t want anyone questioning the arrangements we’ve made to make this work.”
She looked to the floor and nodded, “Okay,” then turned around and left the room.
I couldn’t help but feel like I’d hurt her. Making my way into her room was uncomfortable, “Julia?” I said as I pushed open her door.
“Yeah?” she replied as she wiped her eyes and cleared her throat.
She was standing beside her bed and I walked over to her, “Did my mom talk to you about Tyler?” I asked. Any pretense other than checking up on her made it easier to approach her.
Her head tilted to the side as she looked at me, “She did. I told her you’ve never touched me or been inappropriate with me.”
“Your tone tells me there was more to it than that,” I said.
Julia cleared her throat, “I… I told her what I did. I said you didn’t know about it and I begged her not to tell you, or my mom.”
I smiled, “Why do I feel like you told her more about your reason for doing it than you told me?” I asked.
She nodded, “My mom was pushing me so hard to be perfect. She bragged on me to her friends to boost herself and showcase what a great parent she was. I wasn’t eating, I was barely sleeping and she gave me something to help me stay awake and study more…,” she drew in a deep breath before she continued.
“She was killing me, Derry. So… I stopped. I sold the pills she gave me instead and paid Allie to get what I needed from you. What I said wasn’t a lie. It was because I love you and trust you and knew I could count on you. It was also because you were the one person she would loathe me having a kid with.”
“So you got yourself pregnant with Tyler to piss off your mom?” I asked.
“Kinda? She tried to make me have an abortion, said she’d cut me off financially if I had this kid and ruined her image. She hasn’t even come to see him yet,” she said.
A long sigh seemed to ease some tension from her shoulders as her gaze lifted to meet mine, “Your dad’s friend, Joe, helped me secure the account your dad left me for school as a means to care for Ty instead. By the time he got it secured for Ty’s care I found out mom had already spent a lot of it. I have about half of what I thought I’d have to get life started for us.
“He’s working to make her pay it back, but she’s being awful about it. I can’t even talk to her without her bringing up the fact your dead dad left me a savings fund for college but left her — his wife — with nothing. She kept trying to hint around Ty being your dad’s kid and the money he left me was hush money, even though he died long before I got pregnant. She’s fucking unhinged, Derry.”
“I thought she was going to watch him while you worked?” I asked.
She shook her head, “It’s why finding a job has been so hard. I have a few friends I could leave him with at certain points of the day, but mom… She hates me and wants nothing to do with Tyler. I don’t understand what your dad saw in her, at all. He was so kind and she’s… so vindictive and nasty.”
I hugged her and kissed the top of her head, “My mom wants everything to do with Tyler,” I said with a laugh.
Jules nodded, “What I did appalled her, but she was over the moon that Tyler actually is her grandson,” she said.
I tilted her head up and wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks, “Your mom is the one missing out, Jules.”
She smiled and jumped a little as we heard Tyler cry on the monitor. The timing was fortuitous as I was considering leaning down and kissing her. I looked back towards the door, “I’ll get him.”
She shook her head and grabbed my arm, “Don’t. He’s okay, I changed him and he already ate. He’s teething and uncomfortable is all. He’s been doing this all week, he’ll settle in a few minutes, once the medicine kicks in.”
“He’s teething?” I asked.
She nodded.
I motioned to her chest, “Doesn’t that hurt?”
Julia smiled and nodded, “A little, he’s getting bitey so I’m trying to wean him somewhat. When he first wakes up and when I pick him up from your mom’s will be the only times he feeds from me over the next few weeks.”
I was inadvertently staring at her tits, contemplating what she would taste like.
She noticed where my gaze was and tugged on my hand, “Come on,” she said as she guided me up onto her bed with her. She pulled her shirt off over her head, biting her lip and fixing the wild strands of hair which crossed her face as she tossed her top to the floor beside the bed. Her bra hid her swollen breasts from me, but I watched as she unhooked it at the front and opened it, letting them free from the black-satin confines.
Her breasts were firm half-globes with prominent dark pink nipples and taut skin. They didn’t seem comfortable and it made me wonder what they looked like when they weren’t engorged with milk. She was somewhere in the small to average range before having Tyler now she was definitely on the larger side of average. With her upturned nipples, puffy areolae, and thick lower swell, I couldn’t take my eyes off her for a moment. She was fucking gorgeous.
I drew in a deep breath and finally looked up at her face, “What are you doing Jules?” I asked.
“They hurt when they’re full,” she said. “It makes it hard to sleep sometimes.”
“Don’t you pump them for that?” I asked.
She nodded, “Normally, yes. But I’ve seen you looking and I don’t want to tonight. You’re curious, right?”
She grabbed my hand and put it on her tit, rubbing from the bottom swell towards the nipple, a stream of milk trickled from her and trailed over her breast. I looked back up at her face, “You want me to…”
“Help me sleep better and satisfy your curiosity at the same time.”
I rubbed her breast upwards again, another stream trickled from her nipple, “How do I do that, little sister?” My voice came across as heady and I felt like I was observing this scene rather than participating in it. A self-voyeur watching my little sister seduce me with her swollen milky tits as an offering. Appeasement for stealing my cum and impregnating herself with it to get back at her overbearing mother, perhaps?
She reached up to me and parted my lips then pointed at her nipple, “Put your tongue here and lift it towards the roof of your mouth. If you hate it, I’ll just go pump instead.”
I followed her directions and soon found the flavor of her milk heavy on my tongue as I held her breast in my hand and sucked on her nipple. It startled me at first as her nipple and breast began to pull further into my mouth. The warm, thin cream with a slight sweetness to it made my head swim as I lifted my tongue beneath her and began to suck a little harder. I don’t know if breast milk actually tastes good, or if I was only savoring the flavor because it was her milk, but I worked my lips and tongue to drain every drop from her as it got somewhat thicker and creamier the longer I suckled.
She was biting her lip, her eyes closed and cheeks flushed, as I suckled her.
I closed my eyes and let my mouth and tongue languish on her empty tit, enjoying the feel along the bottom swell with her breast in my hand as my mouth latched onto her nipple and upper breast.
She scooted over on the bed once I pulled my mouth from her and I climbed over to her other side, greedily sucking her other nipple into my mouth just the same. She let out a soft moan as my teeth raked gently across her areola, then my lips returned to draining her.
My tongue and the roof of my mouth created a gentle suction which allowed me to drink in a steady rhythm. Her entire nipple and areola pulled past my lips, allowing me to truly experience her breasts in a way I’d never imagined before. I sucked on her other breast even longer, not wanting to admit it emptied faster than the first. In doing so, I let go of the illusion this was a sacrifice I’d made for her comfort rather than to satisfy my perverse interest in her body. I wanted the taste and feel of her firm nipple and soft, empty breast imprinted to memory.
When I pulled my mouth from her I noticed a rosy pink flush on her cheeks. I looked her in the eye, “Feel better?” I asked.
She nodded, her tits pushed out as she arched herself slightly, my hand groped her empty breasts, rubbing my palms across each saliva-coated nipple as she watched me. I knew I could have pushed her further, fucking begged her to let me keep exploring her. It took all I had to pull myself away from her body, but I managed.
I got up and went to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and cleaned off the mess I’d made of my underwear while enjoying Julia.
Then I closed my eyes and bit my lip, savoring the lingering creaminess in my mouth as I stroked my — still hard — cock off into the bottom of the shower.
My only thoughts involved my sister kneeling at my feet, mouth open, tits engorged and her own hands groping and squeezing them to leak her milk along her breasts, even spraying it towards my cock as I stroked off — coating my spectral image of her tongue, lips and tits in my cream — made short work of my remaining erection.
When I opened my eyes, my cum was circling the drain, sister nowhere in sight. I don’t know if I felt relieved or disappointed. I know my instinct was to drop to my knees beside her and kiss her, had she been kneeling before me.
Disappointed.
I felt disappointed at not having my sister’s face and body marked by my cum. I hit the tile by the showerhead and sat on the floor, letting the water cascade over me as I pushed those thoughts out of my mind.
After my shower, I checked in on Julia and Tyler. Then, I settled on the couch and fell asleep. I had fucking nightmares about being at a family function and Julia rubbing her tits, telling me they hurt, getting me to drain her milk while our family chastised me for seducing and ruining my little sister. A thin layer of sweat clung to my brow as I woke up. My mom was staring at me with a big scowl on her face.
I jumped up, “Jesus Christ!” I yelled.
Julia peeked out from the kitchen, “You okay, Derry?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I called back, my hand on my chest trying to calm my heart as it felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest, “I wasn’t expecting to wake up to my mom giving me a death glare,” I said loud enough for my mom to hear but not Julia.
Her scowl softened as she patted Tyler’s bottom and rocked him, “I told you not to do anything to encourage rumors and you move in with her?”
“She was going to get a roommate, which would have meant moving Tyler into her room, mom,” I said.
“At least get a pull-out couch so it’s semi-believable,” she said.
I smirked, “Remember what happened when you used to accuse me of shit I didn’t do?” I asked.
She straightened up and her scowl returned full force as she covered Ty’s ears, “Don’t you fucking dare,” she threatened.
I glanced back to the kitchen then turned my attention back to my mom, “She’s lonely, I could…”
My mom grabbed my ear and twisted it, “Oww! Oww. Christ mom, I was kidding… Stop!”
Julia poked her head back out from the kitchen again and mom went from menacing, fury-filled scowl to sweet motherly smile in less than a second. I rubbed my ear and got up, “I’m going to the bathroom, you psycho,” I said with a smirk directed at my mom.
She wagged her finger at me and Julia looked back and forth between us, eyebrow arched.
When I came back out Julia had muffins on a plate on the coffee table and she and my mom were doting on Tyler as Julia geared herself up to say goodbye to Ty for the first time since she had him. I sat down on the couch next to Jules and reached for a muffin but Julia slapped my hand, “Not for you, for your mom to take with her.”
I pulled my hand back and scowled, “Why am I getting abused every which way this morning?” I asked.
Julia smiled and bumped her shoulder against mine, “There are more in the kitchen, go get one from there.”
“Why’s my mom even here today? It’s Saturday, you don’t have to work yet.”
“Because she has to work on Monday and having a couple days to transition with the drop off means she doesn’t go to work crying and ruining her makeup on her first day,” my mom said. “I’ve done this for years — don’t question my methods, young man.”
I sat back on the couch and pouted, crossing my arms over my chest as Julia and my mom talked. Once the muffins cooled, Julia wrapped the plate in plastic wrap and my mom was out the door with Tyler. Her car was already equipped with a baby seat she’d picked up for transporting Ty.
She was all-in on this.
Once mom started pulling away I understood why this method was good for new moms transitioning to being working moms. Julia welled up and started sobbing hard. I hugged her and rubbed her back so she could cry without needing to support herself on her own feet, “Mom’s gonna be good with him,” I said, trying to reassure her.
She nodded, “I know… I know. I’m not worried about that, it’s just… it feels real now.”
“It’s Saturday and we don’t have to work. Wanna veg out and watch a movie together?”
She shook her head, “No, not right away at least. We need to get you unpacked and set up here,” she said as she tried to regain her composure.
I nodded and we went back inside. We spent the morning unpacking my clothes and putting them in her closet. She cleared half for me, but I didn’t have enough clothes to fill it up so I helped her go through the stuff she’d pulled out to donate and filter out what she really wanted to keep. Then she helped me set up my computer and a couple shelves for my games and movies in the living room.
She winced as a box rubbed against her chest, “You okay?” I asked.
Julia blushed and nodded, looking away from me. I wanted to push a little but refrained. If she needed… relief…she would ask and I was going to leave it at that — in case she was regretting our activities from the night before. We kept unpacking my stuff and she got more uncomfortable. I stopped and looked at her, “Jules… Do you need to take a break? We’ve been unpacking for a few hours…”
“Lunch?” she asked.
I nodded, “Yeah, you want us to make something or order…”
She started taking her shirt off and I stopped what I was saying. I looked up at her and she was biting her lip, her brow furrowed in what looked like uncertainty. I reached out to her and unfastened her bra as she finished pulling her shirt off her wrists. Her tits were more swollen than they had been the previous night and they leaked at the slightest touch. I looked at her as I brought my mouth to her breast.
She put one hand on my shoulder and the other was on the back of my head, her fingers grasped my hair and held me to her tit as I suckled her. She flooded my mouth and I moaned.
Her breath caught in her throat and she stifled her own moan. I pushed her back to the couch and climbed up beside her. Her outer thigh rubbed against my dick as I groped and latched my tongue and lips onto her gorgeous body.
I tilted my head so I could see her.
She was watching me, biting her lip and stroking the back of my head. I bit her nipple and she closed her eyes and moaned. I drained one tit then switched my attention to her other leaky tit. Milk dribbled down the lower swell of her breast and I licked the trail, kissing and gathering her thin cream on my lips and tongue until my mouth clamped down on her engorged breast.
She still had one hand on the back of my head and her other hand snaked down between my legs, rubbing my cock through my pajama bottoms. I groaned against her tit and sucked on her harder. My sister started to put her hand in my pants and I grabbed her wrist and moved it back to her own body. My hand lingered on hers for a moment, stroking her skin as I guided it beneath her pajamas. Her tit ran dry and I lingered again, toying with her nipple, not wanting to pull my mouth from the sweet flavor coating her skin.
Then I forced myself to pull away.
I brought my lips up to her ear and whispered, “Thank you, little sister.”
I stroked her jaw and kissed her cheek as I chose to ignore the vigorous motion of her hand in her pajama bottoms. But, I stayed close and let her feel my breath on her neck and ear. My hands gathered her hair and stroked it down her back as I held her. She arched her body and brought herself to a whimpering orgasm beneath me.
I stroked her cheek and pressed my forehead to hers, then got up and went to the bathroom to shower and change from my pajamas, which, much like my underwear from the night before, now needed laundering. I sat on the bathroom floor outside the tub, completely naked, and grabbed her conditioner bottle. A little bit in my hand made it smell like her and I stroked my dick with my eyes closed.
All I could think about was her kneeling between my legs and her firm tongue on my balls as her soft, petite, hand stroked me off. The scent of her conditioner was heavy in the air as it helped my hand slick over my shaft. I stroked myself faster and moaned as I opened my eyes. She was smiling as she watched me and I smiled back, thinking her another figment of my imagination. I bit my lip and slowed my stroking down, closing my eyes again.
Then I felt the weight of her arms on my shoulders as she leaned over me, the pressure from her hard nipples rubbing against my chest. The soft warmth of her breath on my ear as she whispered, “I love you, Derry,” caused me to reach my peak hard, hitting her stomach and tits with my cum as I shivered and groaned.
When I opened my eyes she was still there, leaning over me, topless, glistening streaks of fluid striping her skin. Her gentle, half-smirking smile stopped my heart for a moment as she tipped her head towards me and pushed her hair behind her ear. My hand trembled as I reached up and stroked her face. She closed her eyes and leaned into my palm, a heavy breath of contentment escaping her.
I fucking cried. Not bawling, but a steady stream of silent tears coated my cheeks as I sat there, disgusted with myself.
I felt like scum for letting her see… for… for marking her body.
She held me to her and tried to soothe me, but I was a fucking mess. I had morals. Strong morals which told me what I’d done was wrong. She was my sister and everything we’d done was fucked. It was that moment which stripped me of any lie I’d told myself about this being for her and not myself.
Her seeing me naked was wrong. Me sucking her tits, even to relieve the painful engorgement from her milk, was wrong. Picturing her doing more, wanting her to do more, wanting her to relieve my swollen member, was definitely wrong.
All I could manage was a repeated, “I’m sorry,” as I broke down in front of her.
She let me go just long enough to pull her pajama bottoms and panties off then she urged me into the bath. I sat on the cold porcelain praying for forgiveness from my father, from our mothers, from any gods that might exist, from our son, but mostly from her.
Julia knelt on the floor with me and lifted my head to her, “Derry,” she said as she looked me in the eye. “Stop it. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be begging you to forgive me.”
She washed me.
I was trembling and pulled away when she went to clean my cock, grabbing her wrist and pushing her harder than I meant to as I yelled, “Don’t fucking touch me.”
Julia fell away from me when I pushed her, her eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar as she watched me stand up and scramble from the shower, slipping on the tile before I left the bathroom. I ran to her bedroom and into her closet, found an outfit from the rack I’d stolen from her space and threw it on. I passed her as I rushed from the apartment. She tried to stop me but I pulled away and kept walking.
I was afraid to stay there alone with her, afraid maybe I really was the delinquent ruining her and corrupting her. I stayed out for entire day.
I made my way to my old apartment, but my friend was banging his girlfriend and didn’t appreciate me interrupting. So I went to the park, then to the movies, then to a bar, then to a back alley where the gorgeous bartender I picked up knelt and sucked my cock in the most lackluster way.
I got fucking bored with a blowjob.
I ended up lifting her back up to her feet and pushing her against the brick building, her tits exposed to the rough wall as I lowered her panties and hiked up her skirt. From behind she had a figure like Jules, even the same color hair. I stood behind her and got her ready, pretending all the while it was my sister I had pinned to the wall in heels with her panties around her ankles.
I wasn’t trying to get her off, unfortunately. I only wanted the need to fuck my sister out of my system and she was a decent and willing stand-in even if she didn’t know she was nothing but a stand-in. I lifted this girl’s knee, opening her cunt to me as I lowered my pelvis then pushed upwards and into her.
She whimpered and tried to lower herself onto me but I wasn’t interested in her efforts. She was nothing but a fuckable body standing in for the one I wanted. I grasped her hair in my hand and thrust hard and deep, scraping her tits on the brick wall as she whimpered and moaned. Her voiced urging of “Harder” and “More,” almost ruined the moment for me as I was reminded this body wasn’t Julia’s.
Her body shifted, pushing her ass out to let me deeper into her cunt and I felt myself hitting her hard, after a few strokes she tilted her hips a little and I thrust harder. She even almost smelled like Julia, which made me move my hand from the back of her knee as I whispered, “Keep yourself open for me so I can get you off.”
She nodded as I pulled her hair and snaked my other hand around her waist, this girl’s clit was swollen and wet as I bit and kissed the back of her neck while I fucked her. My breathing was heavy and her moans got louder. I tapped her clit, causing her to squirm, “Such a fucking tease, you are,” I said as I pushed her against the wall.
She tried to turn her head, to look at me, but I didn’t want her to break my fantasy any more than she already had, so I held her in place with a strong grip.
I grunted as I pushed deep, “Fuck me back,” I demanded. My grip tightened and my fingers moved over her clit harder and faster.
The girl whined and obliged, pushing herself back onto my dick. I laughed and groaned, pushing my face into her hair and whispered, “You’re such a fucking beautiful little slut. Such a perfect body for me to cum in. You want me to, right? Want me to drop my load right in your cunt?”
She nodded and moaned, “Yes!”
I thought I’d pulled her hair hard enough to keep her from talking but, apparently, I hadn’t. Her voice almost ruined my fantasy and I hesitated, but her moan was soft like my sister’s and I pushed deep as she tightened around my cock, “Jules… oh fuck,” I groaned as this girl milked my cock into the condom I wore. I pulled out before I finished filling the condom and watched her ride out the waves from her orgasm as she leaned against the wall near us. I held the condom on as I gave myself a few firm strokes up my shaft to ensure completion, then pulled it off and tied it up.
I looked down at this girl, I couldn’t remember if she’d even told me her name. Her lower lip pouted and her eyes turned up to me. I put my hand under her chin and guided her back up to her feet, “Who’s Jules?” she asked as I fixed her clothes.
I grimaced and looked away from her, “She’s my life,” I said as I avoided looking at her, “I’m sorry.”
She slapped me, yelled, “You said you were single you asshole,” and continued fixing her clothes as she walked away.
I rubbed my cheek and laughed, “I said life, not wife,” I called out. She still shot her middle finger up and disappeared into the bar again. I tossed the condom and tucked myself away. Then decided it was dark enough to go home.
I hoped Julia would be asleep by the time I got back. I could avoid her for the rest of the night if she was in bed already. But that wasn’t the case.
Julia looked startled as she leftTy’s room and saw me standing by the front door, “Derry, are you okay?” she asked as she approached me.
I shook my head and cocked it to the side as I drunkenly gazed over her body. She was a short brunette with ivory-colored skin and bright blue eyes. Drove the jocks at her school crazy as a cheerleader, but she leaned towards the burnouts who were more likely to give her a good high than a good fuck. Her hips still curved but she wasn’t as shapely as she used to be, she’d lost weight since having Tyler from the constant go of being a single mom, completely on her own for those first six-months. I should’ve been helping her.
She had these killer curves in high school though, a perfect, dipped waist, a soft curved ass and hips that evoked fantasies of using them to guide her pussy down onto your cock.
I used to watch her do yoga when I was at dad’s and the way she bent her body was mesmerizing. I had no problem jerking off thinking about her yoga poses in my bedroom there, but now… Now I’d sucked on her tits, she’d seen my dick and she’d seen me jerk off, and I didn’t know how to process it. Before? I could keep my attraction to her my very own little dirty secret.
It might as well have flashed across billboards that I was a pervert who looked at the little sister I grew up with as if she were the most fuckable woman in the world.
Julia took my hand, led me over to the couch, and sat down with me, “I worried you weren’t going to come home at all,” she said.
I looked her in the eye and nodded, “I wasn’t sure I was going to either. Listen… What happened…”
She put her hand over my mouth and shook her head, “Do you remember the week right before our high school graduations? Your dad wanted to take us camping but I got sick?”
I nodded.
“I wasn’t sick. I know everyone treats us like we’re siblings and it’s wrong and even kinda gross, but I’m attracted to you and I have been for a long time, Derry.
“I’ve tried to push the idea away. You’re my brother, I shouldn’t see you that way. But, no matter how often I repeat those words it just doesn’t make the interest go away. I keep getting this whisper back, a sweet little reminder telling me you’re only my step-brother and nothing says we can’t…”
She paused and looked away for a moment before sighing and continuing, “I played sick because I knew I would lead you away from the camp and I’d try to get you to be with me. I knew if we got caught it would be the end of us getting to see each other and you would get the brunt of discipline for it — even though I would have been the one who seduced you,” she said.
She was sitting much closer to me than I was comfortable with and she lifted her head to look me in the eye, “No one’s here to catch us. We’re almost twenty. No one can discipline us or separate us ever again. I love you more than I should, and I think you love me more than you want to,” her hand reached up to me and caressed my cheek.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Her other hand was on mine and she pulled herself over to me and kissed me before pulling back and whispering, “You’re right. People are going to find out what I did and you’re going to be the one blamed for it and I’m so sorry. I will try to make them hear me and I will be honest about what I did. But, is it so bad if you actually experience what people are going to accuse you of anyway?”
“I’m not going to fuck you, Jules,” I said.
She put my hands on her hips and pushed herself closer to me, “I acted out to get your attention and you kept taking the blame for me and dismissing my efforts to get closer to you. All I’m asking for is a chance too allow me to make it up to you, big brother.”
I brought my hands up to her face and held her so she was looking at me, “Make it up to me by being a good mom to Tyler, by being happy, by being safe. You know I love you. It’s obvious I’m attracted to you, but please don’t push me on this. It’s important to me and if you do love me you will respect my limits.”
She nodded, “Okay,” her voice strained and her eyes watered as her gaze fell away from me.
I pulled her to me in a tight hug and closed my eyes. God, she smelled good.
She looked up at me, her eyes big and glistening with tears, making her blue irises all the more vibrant, “Can we still cuddle together?” she asked.
I nodded, “Of course, Jules.”
She climbed up on the couch with me. I moved to hold her, but she turned over to face me, “Can I kiss you at least?” she asked.
I thought about it for a second and nodded. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine without opening her mouth. It was nothing but a firm press from her lips to mine and the stickiness of hesitation between us as she pulled away. I rubbed my hand up and down her back and she leaned in to kiss me again. I let her and this time her tongue licked across my lower lip, causing me to groan.
She was smiling as she pulled back from my lips, then she turned over and nestled her ass against my crotch. I imagine she was smiling even bigger as my dick was rock hard. She pressed herself so tight against me there was no way she didn’t feel it, even through my jeans.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her. I was so fucking uncomfortable and it was getting harder and harder to listen to the little voice in my head reminding me this amazing, soft and inviting body I was lying next to, was the one person I’d promised my dad I would look after without expecting anything in return. Wanting to fuck her was the exact opposite of my promise.
The exact words he used before he died were, “Julia needs someone she can trust in her life. Someone who isn’t looking to use her for their own gain. I was that person and I protected her from her mom as best I could. She needs you to step up and be her protector now. Treat her like she’s your real sister and keep her safe, especially from her mom.”
We fell asleep together but she woke me up at some point during the night with soft kisses on my lips. In my half-asleep state, I grabbed her jaw and pulled her to me in a deep and needy kiss, causing her to moan and shiver in my grip. I caught myself as my hand slid over her hip beneath her pajamas. “Jules?” I asked as I woke up a little more.
“Can you still help me with my milk?” she asked as she stroked my hair.
I nodded and pulled my hand away from her, ignoring the inviting feel of her silky panties beneath my thumb, and helped her pull her shirt off. My mouth was on her tit as soon as she uncovered it. I suckled her without holding back on the sexual desire I had denied us both. She stroked my hair and moaned as my tongue and mouth did much more than suckle and for much longer than she had milk to offer.
Before I switched to her other breast I brought my lips down on hers and lifted her head, offering a full, deep kiss on her soft lips. She turned over to face me and I brought my mouth down to her still-full tit, groping and suckling her. When she was empty I rubbed her breasts then looked her in the eye, “Go lay down in your bed, Julia, please?”
She looked sad but nodded, “Thank you, Derry,” she whispered as she got up and left me on the couch.
I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, trying to get my sister’s tasty, milky body off my mind. The scent of her shampoo was on my arm where she’d been lying and my dick was so hard it ached. I got up and went to the bathroom to have a shower, propping a towel rack under the door handle so she couldn’t get in — and making a mental note to buy a locking knob to install on the bathroom door.
I brushed my teeth and got into the shower, relieving myself of the pent-up reaction to my sister’s body. Then I dried off, put my boxers back on and went to my Julia’s door to check on her. She was sleeping on her side, bra and panties were the only things covering her as the sheet lay in a heap behind her. I went in and pulled it back over her before watching her sleep for a minute.
I wondered if anyone had ever actually done paternity on dad… maybe she really was my sister. Maybe that was why dad was so hard on me about looking after her?
It would be devastating, but mom and dad split up a few years after she was born. After mom found out dad had been cheating on her with Julia’s mom.
I crinkled my nose. Don’t open doors which are better left undisturbed. We had a kid together, she had to be my step-sister and not my real sister. I think my friend would have told me if anything came back weird on the paternity test. Ty was okay, no signs anything was wrong with him. There would be something wrong with him if his mom and I shared a dad, right? Something would have shown up on the test and would’ve raised eyebrows for my buddy?
Before I went back to bed, I checked in on Tyler. He was awake and staring at the ceiling. I walked over and smiled at him, “I know the feeling, little man,” I said as I leaned over his crib and let him grab my finger and tug on it as he squealed in delight.
I picked him up and walked around the room with him, “I need to talk to someone I can trust, and right now you’re the only one who can’t tell anyone shit about this, so you’re it — I love your mom.
“She’s my favorite person to be around. We have so much in common, and she made you. But I’ve been wondering if she was more than my dad’s step-daughter. Things haven’t been lining up for me and it’s making me want to do a DNA test to make sure.
“Just to make sure I’m not so fucked up that I’m attracted to my real sister. Maybe that’s why your grandma never wanted me and her around each other. Maybe she knew I’d fall for Julia and she knew Julia was more than my step-sister. I don’t know what to think anymore, bud. I can reconcile falling for my step-sister. We’re only siblings by circumstance, not blood. I can work with that. But what if…” I sighed and looked down, Tyler was fast asleep so I put him back down in his crib and turned to leave.
Julia was standing there with her head leaning against the door frame, “We need to talk,” she said as she held her hand out to me.
I took it and she led me from the room and back into the living room, “I am not your sister,” she said with solemnity, “I got your dad to do a DNA test with me when I was sixteen, told him it was a science project on DNA profiles. I was afraid of the same thing when I started falling for you. I was paranoid your dad was so good to me because I was his daughter, but I’m not. Your dad was just a good guy who made some shitty choices.”
I reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear. Her hair was a soft peanut butter brown, lighter than mine, “How certain are you?”
She smiled and looked up at me, “Very. Look, I know people will make a big deal about you being my step-brother, but that’s all you are, Derry — my step-brother. There’s nothing preventing us from being together except judgmental people who should mind their own business.”.
I shook my head, “I have to know. I love you Jules, but I need to know without any doubt my dad isn’t also your dad. And right now, taking your word for it isn’t going to cut it because of what you did to get Ty.
“If you’re only my step-sister then we can be more, even if people think we shouldn’t be. But, if you’re my sister then I need you to accept that we can only ever be siblings moving forward.”
She nodded, “Whatever you want, Derry.”
I couldn’t help but notice how her words caught and her eyes shimmered with impending tears, “Why do you want this so much?” I asked.
Julia shrugged and looked away from me. I put my finger under her chin and tipped her head up to me, “Julia, why do you want to be with me?”
“I’ve never felt safer than I do when I’m around you,” she said.
“Did someone hurt you?” I asked.
She shook her head, “No, nothing like that. It’s just… mom always tried to keep us apart and she could be mean about it. I felt safe with you — I knew no one would fuck with me if you were around. I knew I could fuck up and make mistakes and you would be there to make sure I was okay after.
“I didn’t have that same feeling of safety with mom, or even with your dad. I had to be perfect around my mom or I risked ridicule and anger. I saw what your dad did to you when he thought you fucked up and I thought he’d send me away too if he knew the truth,” she said.
Julia looked at me with the slightest smile on her face, “With you, I could be immoral and explore myself and my wants and you would only ever protect me from getting hurt. You never thought any less of me when I wanted something I shouldn’t. Has that changed?”
I looked her over and cupped her cheek in my hand, “No,” I said as I leaned over and kissed her.
Her smile was evident as she returned my kiss. Her lips caught on my lower lip as she pulled back enough to look at me, “I can be happy with this,” she said as she resumed kissing me, her tongue slipped between my lips and licked across mine as I held her face in my hands. The passion between us was not how a brother should kiss his sister.
I groaned as I pulled away from her, “The problem is,” I said, guiding her onto her back on the couch, “I’m not sure I can be, little sister.”
Julia’s body stretched taut in her excitement as I ran my hands over her, pulling her in for a deeper kiss. I fumbled with her bra and panties but pulled both off. My fingertips trailed over her as I looked up, she was biting her lip and smiling with her eyes closed. I kissed my way down her body, hating myself as I closed my lips on her labia.
She squirmed and whispered, “Derry…,” as I spread her legs more and pressed my lips against her. She whined and made an almost pained noise, so I stopped and looked at her. She whimpered and put her hand on the back of my head, “Don’t stop…,” she begged.
I smiled and lowered myself back to her, savoring the softness and warmth her skin offered my lips. I moaned as I pressed my tongue into her. She was tight, firm, barely any give to her body as she whimpered at my teasing. I pressed my thumb to her clit and rubbed her, moving my fingers to the rhythm of my tongue pushing into her. She moaned and arched her back, “Fuck,” she whispered.
I used my tongue and lips on her clit the same way I’d been suckling her breasts and she grabbed my jaw and pulled me up to her. Her lips found mine in a fast and messy kiss as she wrapped her legs around my hips and pulled me to her.
“Derry,” she whispered, reaching between us and grasping at my belt.
I pulled her hands away and shook my head, “No, Julia.”
I kissed her neck and jaw and pushed my middle and ring fingers into her. She whimpered and pushed herself towards me until her clit rubbed against the heel of my palm. I was already breathing hard, wanting more from her and denying myself the pleasure.
My teeth dragged along her neck and I curled my fingers inside her, roughly pressing and rubbing against the sensitive folds within as my thumb toyed with her clit. I watched her writhe and felt her body lifting and pushing against mine as I fingered her.
She seemed to be fighting it, maybe she wanted me to think it would take more to get her off. I used my free hand to caress her cheek and hold her jaw still while I parted her lips and slipped my tongue along hers as she moaned.
I felt her body tensing, her breath caught and her vagina tightened even more on my fingers. My dick would feel fucking amazing in her and in that moment, I knew it. There was no room for any doubt on how her body could please mine. I throbbed, aching to see how much give her tightness had for me. I kissed her neck and held her to me as I whispered, “Cum for me, little sister. Tighten that beautiful body of yours on my fingers.”
Sweat glistened along her shoulder as the light caught it and I groaned as we both scented the air in a musky and unmaskable desire for one another. I felt the slick wetness from her pooling at the base of my fingers as she trembled and contracted in rhythmic spasms. I kissed her, my lips stuck to hers as I pulled away then I kissed her again as the tremors within her began to subside.
I was crying. I couldn’t help it. I needed her so fucking bad and I wasn’t allowing myself to have her. It hurt. Physically, it ached so much that it felt like a knife was nearly piercing my skin. I kissed her chin and down her neck, suckled her breasts again and kissed her lips, then kissed my way down her body and drank the slippery fluid which coated her and dampened the couch cushion below us. I spent a long time there. After a while she was begging me to fuck her, tears trailing over her cheeks at her longing.
Though, I continued denying us any further physical connection. By the time I decided to stop, she was too tired to get up,. So, I picked her up and carried her into her bedroom.
I started to leave and she grabbed my boxers at the waistband and pulled me to the bed with her, “Don’t leave me alone, Derry?” she begged.
I nodded and climbed behind her. She turned to face me and I stroked her cheek, removing the remaining tears from her skin, “You okay, Jules?” I asked as I took in the damage I’d done to her.
She nodded, but her lower lip trembled. I pulled her into a hug, curling my body around hers as she clung to me and cried, “What’s wrong?” I whispered.
Her voice was strained between her sobs, “I want your skin against mine, Derry. I want your warmth,” she tugged at my boxers again and I didn’t pull her away. I was hesitant, though, grabbing her wrist when she got my boxers halfway off my ass, but the look in her eyes made me relent and I let go.
She pulled my boxers off me and looked at my body for a minute then turned over and pressed her ass against my dick, making me groan as I wrapped my arms around her. Julia stroked my arm and turned her head towards me, “I love you, Derry,” she whispered.
I squeezed her and nodded, “I love you too, Jules,” then kissed her shoulder.
To say I slept would be a lie. Waking up with my dick in her in some way left me too petrified to sleep. Instead, I woke up from random dozing with my arms wrapped around her and her milk leaking onto me.
Then she was stroking my hand and arm, “Derry, I need to go get Ty,” she said.
I pulled her hair away from her neck and kissed her there, making her shiver, “Are we okay?” I asked.
She turned over and looked at me, her finger trailed over my cheek and she leaned up to whisper in my ear, “We’d be better if I could touch you, too.”
I smiled and stroked her cheek as she lay back on the bed, “Maybe I can be more comfortable with it soon. I’m not okay with what I did last night, but I love you and I want you as happy as I can let you be, Jules.”
Her hand wrapped around my cock and I closed my eyes, moaning, “Julia…”
“It’ll only take me a minute, big brother,” she whispered as she guided me onto my back. I got nervous and opened my eyes, watching her stroke my dick, her tits rounded and engorged with milk again as she began to suck on my balls. I grabbed her hair. I wanted to pull her away, but I didn’t.
She wasn’t wrong.
Julia lowered her lips on me and I grasped her head by handfuls of her soft brown hair and held her mouth down on me as she rocked the back of her throat against my tip, a soft moan escaped her lips and vibrated me within her mouth.
I licked my lips as her hands stroked the lower half of my dick. It couldn’t have been more than a minute before I came in the back of her mouth. Her tongue mimicked mine on her tits and I shivered as she swallowed me in a gentle sucking motion.
She pulled herself off me and climbed up my body, kissing me as she stroked my hair. Julia was smiling, an almost gleeful tilt of her head as she said, “See, only a minute.”
She climbed off the bed and put on a robe from the back of the door as I lay there on her bed. Dazed, and thrilled, with the shame and lust of how fucking amazing her lips felt on me with barely any effort put into it.
Monday.
I only had to hold out until Monday, then I could get my buddy to run the test. God willing, my dad wasn’t fucking around with Julia’s mom until after she was pregnant with Julia. If not… I didn’t know.
I got up and put my boxers on then went down to Ty’s room to watch her feed him, “You’re such a beautiful and amazing mom, Julia,” I said.
She smiled and looked up at me, “Better now that you’re here.”
“What happens if we find out you are my sister?” I asked.
Her smile faded and she looked at Ty, “He’s perfect. Unless something was really fucked with the DNA test I did with your dad, we aren’t siblings, Derry.”
She looked back at me, “I think if we were, or even if there was a chance we were, my mom would have stressed it to curb any feelings from developing between us. She tried so hard to stress that step-siblings were close enough to real siblings it’d be gross if something happened between us. I can’t see her knowing there was a chance we were siblings and not using it to fit her agenda to keep us apart.”
“I think you’re right about that. I’m going to go for a run. Do you want me to wait until after my mom picks Ty up so you can come with me?”
She laughed, “No, I don’t think I’ll be running until these things get back to a more normal size,” she said as she gestured to her breasts. “Or at least until I can take a minute to go to a store and find a good sports bra.”
I left the room and got my running clothes on. When I came back out to the living room, a nagging thought made its way to the surface. I stopped and turned to Julia, “Do you think there’s a possibility my dad isn’t my dad? What if your dad is also my dad and that’s why my dad cheated on my mom?” I asked.
Julia’s brow furrowed, “I don’t know. Do you think your mom would cheat?”
“No, but, I mean, there has to be a reason everyone wants to keep us apart, right?”
“Are you just aiming for a way for us to be siblings?”
I shook my head, “Just… thinking about unlikely possibilities. I have heard of people falling in love with someone only to find out they’re half-siblings.”
“Yeah, in tabloids. I doubt it’s a common occurrence.”
“My mom’s coming by to pick up Ty, right?”
“You want me to ask her if your dad might not be your dad?” she asked with a laugh.
I nodded, “Yeah, kinda.”
Her laugh died out and she looked at me, “You’re serious?”
“Yeah.”
“I guess I can ask her about it? You know your mom is doing us a huge favor taking care of Ty and I don’t want to piss her off, right?”
“You aren’t going to piss her off. If I asked her, it would piss her off, but you… knowing she knows what you did… if you asked, she might be honest about any skeletons in her closet,” I said as I walked over to her.
I ran my thumb over her cheek and tilted her head up as I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. Ty grabbed my hair and pulled it, seemingly in response to me getting so close to his mom. I relented and let Julia go as Ty squealed in delight at my pained face.
“Ask her and maybe we find out my dad is my dad without a doubt and you know he’s not your dad so we can end the speculation. Bonus — we tick your mom off by making this an official thing for us.
I kissed her again with my hand on the door, almost turning it before she pulled away and nodded, “Okay, I’ll ask.” Her cheeks flushed a soft pink and her smile lit up her eyes as my own gaze ran up and down her body.
I grabbed the knob while still looking at Julia. I was so wrapped up in my admiration of her when I pulled the door open that I almost didn’t see my mom standing there — hand poised to knock — and I jumped back a few inches as I caught her in my peripheral vision.
My heart dropped into my stomach and I wondered if she’d heard anything, or saw anything in my expression, which gave away my morning escapades with Julia.
She wasn’t smirking or smiling, wasn’t poised to beat the shit out of me, she only looked confused as she hadn’t quite knocked on the front door yet.
“Going for a run, will be back in an hour or so,” I said as I kissed my mom on the cheek and ran out before my guilty conscience leaked out in the form of a confession.
I was coming around on the morality thing. I loved Julia; she seemed to love me too. I mean were we hurting anyone by being intimate? We could most likely prove we weren’t blood siblings. We were only step-siblings, and it wasn’t a big deal, right?
I had a lot of shit going through my head as I ran, completely unaware where I was running to or how long I’d been running when I realized my side was aching. I took a minute to stretch and catch my breath then sat down and checked my phone. I’d been running for an hour. No wonder my side ached. I stopped in at a coffee shop and grabbed a water while I waited for the ache in my side to go away then turned around and ran home.
By the time I got home, I felt disgusting as sweat soaked my clothes and created a sheen across my skin. My mom was still at the house but was carrying Tyler down to the car. I ran over to her and gave her and Ty a big hug.
She made a disgusted face and pushed me away, “Oh, god, Derry, go shower and burn those clothes!” she quipped.
I laughed and said bye to Ty and headed back inside with Julia. She was much less weepy following her second goodbye to Ty, still a few rogue tears, but no hard sobbing like on Saturday morning. “So, did you ask her about it?” I asked, eager to know the possibility.
“I did ask… how much do you want to know?”
“I mean, I don’t want to know my mom’s sex life in detail, but is there a possibility your dad is my dad?”
“Yes,” she said without further explanation.
“The likelihood of it?”
She tilted her hand back and forth, “Ehn, like evenly split odds she thinks.”
“Did… did she say your dad specifically?”
Julia cleared her throat, “You said you didn’t want to know the details…”
“You can tell me that much right?” I replied.
Julia breathed out in a heavy sigh, “She didn’t point to my dad specifically, just to a party he was at…”
The confusion on my face must have been evident as she half-smirked.
“Our parents were not so monogamous at some point before we were born,” she continued.
“Wait, you said a party your dad was at. You mean like… the whole party?” I asked.
Julia nodded, “She said she never checked into your paternity because your dad said it didn’t matter. You were his because he wanted you to be his.”
“Was your mom at this party?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Were we both fucking conceived that night?!”
Julia crinkled her nose and bit her lip as she looked away from me.
I pulled out my phone and started dialing.
“What are you doing?” she asked me.
“Calling in a huge fucking favor, I need to shower first but we’re gonna go see a friend of mine and we’re getting a DNA test done immediately,” I said.
She smiled and went into the bathroom where I heard the shower start. Five minutes was all I needed to get my buddy on board to meet us where he worked to fast track the damn thing so I would know, one way or the other. When I hung up I looked up and Julia was standing naked in the bathroom doorway, “Come on, I’ll wash you up,” she said as she smirked and tilted her head towards the bathroom.
I went with her.
She undressed me and I couldn’t stop kissing her as we made our way into the shower, “We’ll find out soon,” she said in a sweet whisper as she looked up at me.
I nodded and looked her body over. My hands roamed until I had my fingers inside her again. Her hands were on my wrists, squirming and lowering herself against my hand as I bent and pushed my fingers into her. Each time her breath caught and her weight came down heavier on my hand I pressed my lips tighter to hers. Her legs went weak as she closed her eyes. She whimpered and whined and I brought her over a gentle crest, pulling my fingers from her spasming pussy to rub her clit as I pushed my cock against her oh-so-inviting body.
She moaned and looked me in the eye, “Derry…” she started, a whimper of my name, but I silenced her with a kiss and picked her up, guiding her legs apart and holding her by her ass with her back against the shower wall.
“Shhh, little sister,” I whispered, my lips above hers as she gasped and I groaned. “Just tell me you want to?”
She nodded vigorously, “I want to, so fucking bad,” she whined.
My cock faced such a tight fucking resistance I thought I’d hurt her if I pushed much harder. Then with a gasp from her and a groan from me, my dick was in and she was pulsing on me.
I kissed her and pushed a little further.
She tightened her hands on the back of my neck, “Fuck me,” she whispered in my ear, a needy, gasping, request.
I nodded and kissed her neck, “I’m trying, little sister, but you’re so fucking tight.”
She lifted herself and my cock slipped further into her, causing me to shudder, “God, Jules, how do you feel so fucking perfect?” I whispered as I made a hard thrust and pushed deep, causing her to squirm and arch her back.
Julia groaned and started moving her hips towards me, “Derry,” she whispered, “Derry… I… I…”
Whatever she wanted to tell me she couldn’t get it out as I pulled back until just my tip was inside, then pushed forward again, making it to the halfway point before she started whimpering and trying to force me deeper into her.
“What is it, Jules?” I asked as I fucked her against the shower wall.
Her body tensed under my fingers and I lowered my head down to her breast, suckling her as I fucked her a little deeper. She was arching and whimpering and she met my forceful thrust with her own, causing herself to cry out in sudden pain as my dick hit against the top of her vagina with force. I held still, the base of me throbbing against her clit.
I brought my lips back up to hers and kissed her with a deep need, “I love you, Julia. No matter what happens with that test, I want you to know I love you.”
She nodded and smiled as she cried and held me to her, her voice was needy as her lips settled close to my ear, “Fuck me harder.”
I thrust hard, smashing her back into the wall as she groaned and smiled, “Again,” she begged.
Repeating the thrust over and over again until her body tightened and tried to milk my dick as she trembled in my hands, “Good girl,” I whispered as I kissed the top of her head, “You were always the good girl.”
Her arms lay at her sides and her cunt clung to my cock, as I looked in her eyes, “We can finish the shower in a minute,” I said as I turned the water off and carried her into her bedroom.
I lay her down on her bed and grasped her hips, lifting her to me as I pushed deep and fast into her. She rubbed her breasts and I sat up, my hands on her knees as I held her legs apart and used her body to please myself.
A few more hard thrusts caused intense pressure from her vaginal walls contracting in a powerful orgasm to push me to my limit as she moaned and curled her fingernails into my shoulders. I forced my way deep inside her as my balls and dick twitched, filling her with my cum.
I groaned and collapsed on her, kissing her lips then latching my mouth over her nipples and draining her breasts of the small reserve which lingered, “Won’t me doing this keep you producing milk?” I asked before closing my lips back over her nipple.
She bit her lip and shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I think hormones will lessen it over time. But I do like how different it feels with you. I like how connected I am to you,” she admitted.
I smiled, “How are you still so fucking tight after having a baby?” I asked.
Julia laughed, “For one thing, that’s not how things work. For another, I’ve been exercising those muscles for years. Also, I’ve never actually had sex before so I was nervous and tensing up.”
I looked at her, “Not true, I heard you with…”
She shook her head, “You heard me blowing him, not fucking him. Your dick is the first one I’ve actually fucked and you kinda took me by surprise.”
I looked down between us and pulled myself from her then lifted her hips onto my knees. My finger ran across her tight slit and looked at her body. My fingers spread her labia and traced along her glistening flesh as my cum lingered at her entrance. I pulled at her skin with my thumbs, watching my cum stretch into thin strings as her inner lips opened to me.
“You have such a pretty pussy. Your clit is little but very sensitive,” I said as I rubbed my thumb up and down her, watching her bite her lip and blush as she tried not to moan. “These lips are nothing but a tiny little puff here.” I ran my finger from her mound to her vaginal entrance.
“They barely even cover up your pussy, little sister.” My fingers caressed her opening and I spread her again, using two fingers, working and pulling at her so I could see where my cum settled. As I spread her I saw the thick strings of our fluids clinging to her vaginal walls.
I dipped two fingers into her and pulled out a wad of cum, admiring it for a moment. Then I grabbed her wrist with my other hand and pulled her up to me, dripping my cum from her pussy into her mouth.
She sucked on my fingertips until it was gone. Then she licked her lips and smiled, “More, please?” she begged.
I took my time, dipping my finger into her cunt then cleaning her of the cum I’d left by scooping it up on my fingers and feeding it to her.
She wasn’t bleeding, I noticed. She was so tight I thought I had to have ripped her, assuming it was an after-effect of stitches following her giving birth. I knew they’d cut her, but my assumptions about things were all wrong. Her soft peachy-pink hole wasn’t as rigid as it had been in the shower, but it still took significant effort on my part to pull her open enough to clean her of my cum.
As soon as my fingers left her, she tightened back up. I shifted on the bed and lowered my mouth to her thigh and devouring the gentle musk wafting from her body. My lips shifted to her labia, absolutely delighting in her fresh-fucked taste as her hands tangled in my hair and pulled me to her.
Her whimpers and moans were intoxicating as I brought her to one more crest before we went back and finished the shower we’d abandoned.
The need to have one hand on her jaw and the other between her thighs as I fucked her one final time — her ass pushed out to me, urging me deeper — was overwhelming. Just in case she was my sister and I couldn’t ever do it again, I gave her everything I was capable of giving her that day. Ignorance was on our side for the moment and I was taking full advantage.
Once I’d cum inside her again, I fingered her, pushing her to another crest as she took control of our kissing. Her hands grasped my jaw and pulled me to her as her body tensed and arched for me. Her guidance was deliberate in how she touched my body. While her hands caressed and explored me, her mouth catered to blinding me to anything not her.
She managed to get me off one more time before we left the shower, but it was little more than a pitiful dribble of thin fluid. My hands pressed to the shower wall behind her while she leaned her upper back to the wall and stroked my dick, her gaze studying my expressions. I leaned my head into my upper arm and watched her stroke my shaft and cradle my balls while she bit down on her lower lip and my dick oozed more than spurted.
She smiled and knelt at my feet, licking and cleaning my dick with her tongue and mouth. I cemented that image in my mind. Even with my dick spreading her lips she looked at me with the most innocent expression. I knew she was anything but innocent and always had been. However, I’d never say anything about that as it was such an ego boost to think I’d corrupted her into this beautiful, needy, and sexual girl.
As we both slid to the floor in the shower, I think we knew this wasn’t the end for us. No matter what results came back, we’d already crossed a line we couldn’t come back from and I was going to give her anything she wanted from then on.
Where I’d only meant to spend some time with her before getting tested, we lost track of time. We were both nervous when we got to my buddy’s office — a little over two hours later than I asked him to meet us. Thankfully, he was perpetually late for everything and only arrived half an hour before us.
My hands were shaking. I was about to find out whether or not I’d fucked my sister or a girl I was only raised with as a sibling. I was afraid she would be my sister by some tragic turn of luck. I think I knew then, as I held Julia’s hand, I’d rather cave and keep fucking my half-sister than run the risk of disappointing her or hurting her by saying no.
I would take whatever heat and repercussions came our way. Hell, I’d have gotten a fucking vasectomy if that’s what it took to safely give her anything she asked of me. I knew there was no going back, no undoing it.
No one else would live up to her body on my cock or her soft curves in my hands. No other woman was ever going to taste as decadent as her. Nor would they smell as alluring to me. No, my sister successfully seduced me and damned my sense of morality. I would wear a collar and be her fucking personal cum dispensing slave if she asked me.
We made it back home from the lab in silence, it would take a day or so for my friend to get the results back. Neither of us left the car for a while, we simply sat there in silence before she finally turned to me and said, “We’re home, Derry. Let’s get inside.”
I closed the door behind us and Julia pushed me up against it, her fingers traced over my lips before her lips assaulted mine again. I smiled and ran my hand along the back of her neck. She had tears running down her cheeks when she pulled away from me.
“I don’t know if I want to know the results when you find them out,” she said.
I tilted her head up to look at me, “Jules,” I said, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I’m not sure the results are going to change anything for us.”
She nodded, “So this morning… was it? All we get is a few hours?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Can we have today then?”
I looked her over and pushed her hair behind her ears, “Do you want me to be your brother, or do you hope I’m not?” I asked.
“You’re my brother regardless of what the results are. But, I do hope you aren’t related to me so we don’t have to end after a single day. So we can have an actual relationship. So I don’t have to hide my love for you. So Tyler can know you as his dad, and so you don’t feel like you have to sleep on my couch to protect my image.
“I’m so sick of you protecting me from myself, Derry. I want to live with you and be happy,” she said, her gaze stayed on my face as she spoke. She seemed to be trying to gauge my feelings, my thoughts on us and any chance at a future we had together.
“Day-by-day, Jules. I need to take this day-by-day, okay?” I said.
She looked at the clock in the kitchen, “Your mom’s not going to have Ty home for a few more hours… can we…”
I kissed her and nodded, “Yeah, I think we can. Anything you want,” I said as she smiled and led me down to her bedroom.
Julia looked me in the eyes as she gathered my shirt in her hands and started to lift it over my head. Her hands trailed over my chest and down my stomach then along my thighs and I unbuttoned her dress and pushed it off her shoulders. I took my time and kissed her neck, along her clavicle and shoulder, then I put my hand on the small of her back and pulled her to me, “I love you, Julia,” I said.
She nodded and hooked her fingers in the belt loops on my pants and pulled me towards her bed, “Don’t just say it, Derry.”
I unhooked her bra and pulled it off her shoulders, “You’re weaning Ty, right?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said as she smiled.
“Then I shouldn’t keep encouraging your body to produce, right?”
She bit her lip and her voice was light, almost wispy as she spoke, “I kinda like it… unless, unless you don’t like it?” she asked, a deep blush on her cheeks as she looked at me.
I caressed her breasts, stroking my hand towards her nipple on one then the other, encouraging her milk to flow over her breast, “I didn’t say I didn’t like it. But you said it hurts when they get full,” I said as I licked up the thin milk stream which flowed over the lower swell of each breast.
“Then don’t let them get full?” she said, a slight smirk on her face.
I closed my lips on her right breast and latched my tongue beneath her nipple, suckling her and massaging her as I emptied her breasts. There wasn’t much built up this time, but I continued suckling, watching her smile and tilt her head back as I closed my lips tighter to her and rolled my tongue over her nipple before I pulled away.
Julia groaned, “Stop teasing me. It aches when you do that and only makes me want you more, Derry.”
My hand rubbed between her legs, over her silky blue panties as I looked up at her. I could feel a wet spot developing on the fabric and slid my fingers under it, to feel her. She moaned and I closed my lips down on her other breast as my finger penetrated her. Her hands were on my shoulders, bracing herself as I held my hand still. She started lowering herself onto my finger. I suckled her breast as I inserted a second finger into her and started rubbing her clit with my thumb.
She was very much fucking my fingers rather than me fingering her and the harder I sucked on her breast the needier she got. I curled my fingers in her and pushed hard against her forward wall as she brought herself down on me. Contractions rippled through her abdomen as she whimpered.
I smiled as I pulled my hand from her then grabbed her panties and yanked them down her legs. I guided her over to the bed with my hands on her hips. Her tit was dry, but I had a new place to encourage leakage from.
I started with soft, slow sucking on her clit as my fingers went back into her, curling along her forward wall as she spread her legs before me. I stopped sucking on her clit and pulled back, looking at her anatomy. The hood on her clit retracted, leaving the firm and sensitive pink flesh begging for my affection. “Julia,” I said as she whimpered at the lack of my touch on her, “Can I watch you touch yourself?”
She nodded and brought her fingers down to her body, roughly rubbing her clit and seeming desperate to get off.
I grabbed her hand and stopped her, “No, not like that. Like when you were thinking of me and you wanted me to get you off, little sister. Show me what it was like for you.”
Her hands were a little more hesitant, but she climbed up on the bed and propped her back up on a few pillows. I pulled my pants and underwear off and climbed up on the bed between her legs, rubbing the base of my cock as I watched her fingers dance along her slit.
Her gaze seemed to be directly on my cock, the shaft semi-hard at best, but I stroked mindlessly, attempting to get myself hard for her again.
The way she rubbed along the entrance to her body — gathering her fluids on her fingers and pulling them up to her exposed clit, slow gentle circles — made her toes curl on the bed as her hips lifted towards her fingers. It also made my cock twitch. The sweetest gasp escaped her lips and I could see her glistening along her vaginal opening.
I couldn’t help myself and leaned over, licking from her perineum up into her dripping slit then over her fingers, teasing the sweetly salty and wet sex organ beneath her slender digits with the tip of my tongue. She moaned and stopped rubbing — so I stopped licking, evoking a tiny whine from her. She resumed rubbing, seeming to ache for release. I went back to licking her, firm licks up and down her clit. Her fingers were dainty and tasted of pure lust, licking them whenever they got in my way of teasing her most sensitive bits.
Her other hand was over her mouth, silencing her own beautifully lusty pleasure moans.
I smiled as I closed my lips over her clit and her fingers, sucking and lapping at them until her fingers were slicking my saliva around herself. I sat up with my hand on her knee, my other hand stroking my dick with more need now as her body glistened with her want.
I waited for her to close her eyes and arch her back, her hips lifted as she held herself just on this side of her orgasm. My sister’s fingers trembled, her stomach clenched, and I grasped her thigh and buried my cock into her tightness as she gasped.
My eyes watered as she tightened on me. Her hips tipped towards me, allowing me to go deeper. I pulled back and pushed forward again.
Julia’s breath caught and one of her hands went to my shoulder, grasping it as I leaned over her and pushed myself deeper, “Bite me if you need to, little sister.”
She was kissing my neck and moaning as she lifted her hips to me, her voice moaning her lust in my ear almost made me blow before I wanted to, “God, Derry. You feel so fucking good — so much better than I ever imagined you would. I can feel every ridge and vein on your cock and it feels amazing. Your dick needs my cunt to get off, right, big, big brother?”
I groaned and nodded, grabbing her hair and pulling hard as I gripped her hip with my other hand and pounded into her.
Her head tipped back and she moaned as I pulled on her hair harder, “Am I hurting you?”
She winced and moaned, “A little.”
“But you like it right, my beautiful girl?” I said as I fucked her harder and pulled a little tighter.
“Yes, Derry, yes,” she groaned as her hips rocked and her body trembled in pleasure.
I didn’t stop with her orgasm.
I let her hair go and allowed her upper body to fall back on the bed as I grasped her hips and pulled her oh-so-fuckable body onto my dick as much as I pushed into her. She gasped and her body trembled, her pussy squeezed me and she came hard, soaking herself, my dick, my stomach and her bed in an uncontrollable spray of fulfilled lust.
I turned her over onto her trembling knees and pushed my dick back into her from behind. She cried out and lifted onto her hands. I grabbed her hair at the back of her head and tangled my hand as close to her scalp as I could get, pulling hard and arching her back as I continued fucking her.
She was moaning and groaning and her body felt like it was struggling to stay up on her hands and knees for me. Her ass lowered and I laughed, “Giving up already Jules?” I teased.
Her tear-streaked face turned towards me and her lips parted in a moan as my balls slapped against her body, “Derry…” she cried out.
“Yes, Julia?” I grunted, mid-thrust.
“Don’t stop. Flood me with your cum… and… and…” she cried out and her body tensed. Her ass lifted a little and my dick went a little deeper. Before I could pull out her cunt clenched down onto me and her legs trembled. Her hips bucked her body towards me, grinding against me. I rocked myself in her, the forceful orgasm she was in the midst of strangled my dick and made it impossible for me to continue holding out.
I came as deep in her as was possible. When I started to pull away she grabbed my hip and held me in her. I stayed and kissed along the back of her shoulder and side of her neck, “Was that okay, Jules?” I asked.
She turned her head towards me and nodded, “How long do you need before we can go again?” she asked, ignoring how tired she appeared as her whole body still trembled beneath me.
“You’re on the verge of overstimulation, little sister,” I whispered.
She whined, “But Ty will be home soon and tomorrow you won’t…”
I climbed up against her and rubbed her back as I kissed her cheek, “Julia… as long as we don’t get you pregnant again if you are my sister, I might be able to be okay with giving you what you want.”
Her cheeks flushed, “I… I’m not on birth control, Derry…”
“You’re what?”
“I didn’t want to go on birth control after I had Tyler? I liked being pregnant with him…”
I pulled my cock from her and she groaned a little, “That’s important information I needed to have, Julia,” I admit, my tone was angry and my voice raised as my brow furrowed at her revelation.
Her eyes got big and she pulled herself away from me a little. I lay down on the bed beside her and sighed, pulling her over to me, “If we are siblings, then we won’t know if Ty’s completely okay until he’s a little older. I’m not mad. I’m scared. I’m worried about you and Tyler and I’m worried about things not actually being okay and we just don’t know it yet.”
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I should have told you.”
I stroked her cheek and kissed her, “If we’re not related, I will give you as many kids as you want and we can handle.”
Julia smiled and nodded, “Then I hope we aren’t,” she said as her lips brushed against mine.
I pulled her up from the bed and forced her into the shower with me so we would both be nice and clean and in fresh clothes before my mom brought Tyler home, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t play with her tits and body a little more while we were in there. Regardless of what our results said, I knew without a doubt this wouldn’t be ending.
The rest of the night was uneventful and mom dropped Ty back off. We had dinner together and Ty watched Julia and I eat and began using his fingers as a spoon rather than a splatter tool for painting with colorful food items. He was mimicking us and I smiled.
The next morning Julia and I both went to work after mom came and got Ty from us. I was having lunch when I finally got the needed, yet dreaded, phone call from my friend, “I’m not exactly sure which outcome you wanted,” he said.
“Just fucking say it, man. She’s my sister, right?”
“No,” he said. “She’s not your sister, or your cousin, or any direct relation.”
“What?”
“Did you want her to be your sister?”
“Fuck. No, I didn’t. Fuck. I owe you a big fucking favor, man,” I said as I hung up.
I finished my day’s work and went home to find Julia and Tyler playing with some baby toys on the living room floor. Julia smiled when she saw me and I wanted to smile back but I walked over to her and, instead, pulled her to me in a much-needed hug.
Her eyes glistened as I pulled back from her, “I’m your sister?”
I nodded.
She wiped her eyes and looked at Tyler, “So he can’t know you’re his dad,” she said.
“No,” I said, “You’re my sister. But you’re not related to me. You were always going to be my little sister. Ty can know I’m his dad, your mom, my mom, they can all officially know I’m his dad. We can be together. We don’t have to hide shit from anyone and no one else has to know what you did, especially not Ty.”
She nodded and curled herself up in my arms, “Good,” she said.
We played with Tyler until he got crabby and sleepy then Julia fed him while I prepped something to eat for me and her. We went to take a shower together after eating and I stopped her before she stepped into the glass enclosure.
“Anything you want, I’m going to give you Julia,” I said as I stroked her cheek.
She smiled, “And if what I want is to send my mom a picture with all three of us together and me and you with wedding bands?”
I nodded and tried to hide the blush on my cheeks with a smile, “Anything you want,” I repeated.
We finished the shower — which was only a shower — and went back to her bedroom. I pulled her up onto my lap as I sat up against the headboard, “Take what you need from me, little sister.”
My dick was hard, no effort needed on her part. She rubbed the head of my cock along her wet slit, “Are you sure?” she asked. “You aren’t obligated to me you know? I don’t want to interfere in your life.”
“I want it too,” I said as I ran my hands up and down her sides and along her back.
She lowered herself down onto my dick. The head pushed into her as I closed my eyes and groaned. My hands gripped her hips as she eased herself onto me further. She leaned back, her hands on my knees. I opened my eyes and watched my dick spreading her, every time she pulled herself back to my tip she moaned and her pussy pulled against my cock.
I held her still for a few seconds, watching her agonize over wanting to get off on my cock and not wanting to hurt me, “You are beautiful, Julia.”
She blushed and looked away from me.
I pulled her down hard onto my cock as she moaned then smiled.
She moved her body again and I pulled her up to me with my hands on the small of her back. My mouth closed on her breast and I suckled her as she brought her hands up to my shoulders and took back control over her body’s movements, riding me hard as I sucked on her breast.
She moaned and arched her back then leaned forward and wrapped her arms behind my neck, “Fuck me, Derry,” she whispered in my ear, “make me cum on your cock, please?”
I moved my body beneath her and we worked together to give her what she needed and what I wanted. I rubbed her clit and made quick deep thrusts into her. She whimpered and moved her hips against me harder and faster. I switched my mouth to her other tit, draining her as I fucked her. As she was getting close I released her breast and pulled her lips to me, kissing her as I rocked inside her.
She gasped against my lips and I smiled as I felt her pussy clenching on me. She was crying and I suddenly worried I was the one taking advantage of the situation. “What’s wrong, Jules?” I asked as I rubbed the back of her neck and looked into her eyes.
“I’m afraid you’re going to resent me,” she whispered.
“Why would I resent you?”
She half-laughed, “Why wouldn’t you resent me? I’ve forced myself into your life and I won’t ever know if you accepted it because you wanted me as well, or because you need to be a better dad to Ty than your dad was to you.”
I stroked my fingers along her teary cheek, “What you did wasn’t okay. I am angry about it. Not angry Ty exists, but angry you went about it the way you did. At the same time, I’m relieved he’s mine and he was what you wanted. I’m relieved he’s not the result of someone taking advantage of you. I just wish you had asked me to be involved with it.”
“I was afraid you’d think it was gross or you would try to discourage me,” she said.
I pulled her to my shoulder, hugging her, “I would have tried to discourage you, but I also would have offered to let you live with me so you could finish out college without your mom being so overbearing and in control. You living with me would’ve been enough to set her off and get her out of your life, Julia. I think you knew that, too.”
She nodded.
“I fucking loved you, Jules. That’s why I took the blame for you all the time, you know? You had to know.”
She shook her head and kept rocking herself against me, riding my cock, “I didn’t,” she said, “but I wish I did. Maybe I wouldn’t have been such a reprehensible person if I’d known you felt the same way.”
She tried to get off me when she felt me tightening up and I grabbed her hip pulled her hard against me as I came inside her again. “No regrets, no resentment,” I whispered to her before kissing the top of her head.
Her head stayed on my shoulder and her hands clasped behind my head, one finger bent to twirl my hair around it as she sighed.
“Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying, Julia. What you did to me? That’s the kind of shit your mom would pull. I expected better from you and I’m extremely disappointed you thought being so underhanded was your only path.”
She nodded, “I know. I fucked up and I can’t take it back.”
I tilted her head to look up at me, “If anyone else had done this…I wouldn’t have reacted the same way. I would have cut them out of my life and I would have fought to take my baby from them.”
Her eyes shimmered with fresh tears building in them as my hand grasped the back of her head and I held her still so I could look into her eyes, “I thought about it at first, but I knew I couldn’t, not to you. Don’t ever do anything like that again. Don’t ever go behind my back for something you want from me.”
I stroked her hair and held her against me when she whispered, “Please don’t… don’t leave me alone, Derry.”
She said it so softly I wasn’t sure she meant for me to hear it, “I love you. I’m not going anywhere, just know I love you. I don’t trust you right now, but I love you. I know you can earn my trust again.” My fingers caressed her hair and down along her back.
“What do I have to do?” she asked as she tilted her pouty lip towards me.
“Tell me why you wanted a kid instead of trying to piss your mom off in another way?” I asked.
She took a deep breath, “It wasn’t about pissing my mom off. Not really, I mean, that was a bonus, but not my reason. A kid is a commitment in a way nothing else is, Derry. Ty’s a promise to myself that not everything about this world is crushing and horrible. He’s a lifeline for me. A connection and a goal to keep pushing myself to do and be better for him.”
“If I hadn’t figured it, would you have ever told me?” I asked.
She bit her lower lip before she shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Would I have wanted to? I wanted you to know all along. But, I was afraid of you finding out. Afraid you’d never speak to me again. Afraid you’d take Ty from me.”
“I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I’m confident I won’t want to leave unless you tell me to. And, unless you aren’t who I think you are, I have no interest in hurting Ty by taking you away from him,” I said. “I really do love you, Julia. It’s not just me saying it to, to get something from you. I love you and have for most of my life.”
I cleaned us both up and held her as she fell asleep in my arms.
As I lay there, my gaze taking in the way her hands clenched and her breath paused until I stroked her cheek, I knew I would be at my little sister’s mercy for the rest of my life. She took something from me without permission, so I thought fair was fair as I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and took a picture of her head on my shoulder. I sent it to my mom, She told me and I still love her.
My fingers stroked her cheek as I whispered to her, “Don’t you leave me either.”
She snuggled tighter against me and nodded, “Anything you want, Derry,” she said in a sleepy whisper.
I smiled and kissed the top of her head, breathing in her sweet honey and jasmine scent as I dozed off with her in my arms.