Replaced

I want to offer another product of my perverted mind. This is pure fiction. Anybody engaging in a sexual act is over eighteen.

This story has turned out far longer than I had originally intended so I will break it up into chapters. I wanted to tell a story. To me, a story is like a long road trip. The journey is as important as the destination.

Be forewarned. I incorporate aspects in this story that push the boundaries. There are elements of domination/submission. Maybe even a little non-consensual activity. I am sure many will NOT like certain elements. Oh well.

Even though I know I will face many derogatory comments, I generally do not moderate them. That being said, dumbass, abusing comments might be deleted ESPECIALLY from those who lack the cojones to set up a profile.

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“Boss, your wife is on line 3.” announced my secretary, Caroline over the intercom. Before I could say a word, she snapped, “I know you said to tell her to fuck off if she called. Well, actually you said for her to call your lawyer. But she has called so many times this morning I can’t get any work done. I could put her on hold indefinitely and see how long it takes for the bitch to hang up.” She laughed and said, “But do you want me to tie up the phone for a while?”

“Son of a bitch!” I muttered. “No, I might as well talk to her. What did you tell her so far?”

“That you were with a client and I would tell you she called.” Caroline answered. “I was tempted to start breathing hard and tell her you were too busy to talk. You were screwing me while I was bent over my desk. But I don’t need her getting ideas. Robbie already knows the story so he wouldn’t get too pissed. Unless he had pics of you actually doing me over my desk like that or something.” She giggled loudly.

I laughed in return.”I don’t want Robbie to get even a tiny bit pissed at me.” I said. Robbie was every bit of two hundred pounds of solid muscle. He was no taller than me at five foot eight but the weight difference of forty pounds was pure muscle. He recreation was doing MMA at his gym. He loved the sport and while he knew he could never really compete professionally, he did well on the amateur circuit. He would be head and shoulders above any fight I might offer on my best day. Privately, Robbie was a great guy, a softie who would seemingly not hurt a fly. In the ring, he was a wolverine.

“I might as well talk to the bitch.” I sighed. Caroline snorted and hung up her end of the conversation.

“Frank.” I said, as I picked up my phone. “What can I do for you?”

“Don’t give me that!” Sheila snapped. “You know full well it is me on the line. And what you can do is fucking TALK to me!”

“About what?” I asked in as low key, controlled voice as I could muster. I felt my blood pressure rising. This was exactly the reason I had deflected her phone calls so far.

“You know what!” she declared. “Then she softened a bit and said. “It’s NOT what you think,”

I started to laugh, “Oh yeah? Looked pretty easy to tell what it was from my angle. Did you ask Darren if he had any doubt about what he was seeing?” I asked quietly. I was impressed at my ability to keep my voice on an even keel. If I could have reached through the phone to throttle the bitch I would have.

“He won’t talk to me.” Sheila said in a quieter voice. ‘Neither will Sharon.”

“I wonder why.” I said sardonically. I was really trying to keep my voice and words controlled. I suspected Sheila might be recording the conversation and I wanted nothing I said to come back and bite me on the ass. That was what my lawyer warned anyway when he told me it was better to not talk with her at all. At least that was his position for the first week. Today, he told me if I talked to her to be VERY careful.

“Please come home and we can work this out.” Sheila begged. “It was only….”

I did not let her get any further before I yelled, “Oh fuck no! Don’t you tell me it was only sex. You whore!! You spread your legs for another man. You violated our vows. You destroyed our marriage. Don’t EVEN begin to try to say it was only sex. Or that you were scratching an itch. Or any other nonsensical cliche you might have come up with.”

I heard labored breathing on the other end of the call. I could tell she was majorly distressed. She was probably crying now and likely had been well before making this call even if I could not hear her sobs. “I need to explain in person.” she said pitifully. She disconnected.

Did I care? NO!!! At least that was what I told myself. Actually I DID care. Deeply. It hurt. I had been with this woman most of my adult life. She had been my go to person. The one in whom I could always confide. Son of a bitch!! I missed her. Part of me really did want to hear her explanation. I wanted answers.

I knew the what, the where, the who, some of the whens but I really had no idea of the WHY. Oh I guessed reasons but right now I had business to conduct, a client to meet. I did not have time to reflect on the why especially when it would mean little in the long run. The why simply does not matter.

The how of finding my wife was having an affair was the weirdest part. A total accident. I caught her in the act even though I was supposed to be almost fifty miles away with my son.

When my client left, I thought back to what had happened as I had most of my waking hours for the past two weeks…..

It was Spring break. The first Saturday morning of the vacation my son and I were going to our family cabin near Lake Fausse Pointe. We had not planned on going alone. My brother, Robert and his son, were going to meet us at the fish camp. He had invited one of his employees as well. We figured we’d spend four or five days playing and fishing. Drinking beer and just generally decompressing and getting away fro regular life for a while. Robert’s wife and mine had been invited of course. Both refused. My sister in law claimed she would have an easier time corralling her younger kids at home than out in the swamp. To go she would have had to take their youngest child out of school for the week anyway as the school breaks did not line up.

My wife Sheila claimed she had too many requirements at work to go sit in a cabin or as we call it a ‘fish camp” for a whole week. She used the same excuse for not going with my daughter for her excursion. Of anybody begging off going to the camp, my daughter Sharon had the best excuse. She was going to be treated to a spa retreat with her best friend, Rachael and her mother. Rachael also happened to be my son’s girlfriend. I should mention my son and daughter are fraternal twins.

Unlike many fraternal twins, particularly those of different sex, Darren and Sharon not only got along, they were close. For the most part anyway. There was some occasional contention but I tried to stay out of it as long as family harmony prevailed. They always looked out for each other though. When they were little there were instances when Darren would beat some kid up because of a slight against his sister. Even unwelcome teasing got his anger to flare. That lead to regular family discussions about appropriate behavior. I had similar anger issues when I was young. I’d like to think I outgrew them.

Conflicts between the two also required some family discussion. At an early age Sharon learned that a boy’s testicles are very sensitive. She had punched her brother in the groin a few times when they’d got into an argument. Darren was not innocent or undeserving of some retribution most of the time but getting his balls nailed was taken off the table. It was a running joke between the two that if Darren ever really pissed her off she would go after his balls again.

Sex and sexual development was an open topic in the family. Mostly in theory. I remember one instance when I picked them up from school before they could drive. Three different girls waved goodbye to Darren with big smiles. I was puzzled. Sharon began to laugh. “I told them Darren was packing. I told them I’d seen him naked and how big his stuff is.”

Darren of course was both embarrassed and proud of his sister’s claims. My own angst elevated as they got to their late teens. I worried more about their sexual development than my wife did. We’d never had the ‘talk’. Whenever I brought up the subject, both would roll their eyes, look at each other and giggle. It was almost like they were saying, “What a clueless bastard! We already know all this shit.” As it evolved, I ‘knew” without being told that both my kids were sexually active. Neither were promiscuous. Sharon was on the pill, ‘in case she decided to have sex.’ I knew the parents or made it a point to know the parents of whoever either of my kids dated, and talked to them out of hearing of my kids. I’m sure both kids knew I checked up on them but neither let on it upset them. Between them they regularly shared information I was not privy to.

I digress a bit, On that critical morning, I discovered my wife’s infidelity totally by accident. My son and I were almost to our destination when he said, “Uh oh! I forgot the new inhaler you put on the table for me.”

“You’re kidding!” I said. “You don’t have an inhaler?” He told me he had an old one in his pocket but had forgot to pick up a fresh device. Darren had been a bad asthmatic when he was young. We had many intense and trying moments when he was little and had some major attacks. Trips to the emergency room are never fun, particularly when your son cannot breathe.

Some kids never outgrow their asthma. Darren had gotten better as he got older, but he still kept an inhaler in his pocket at all times. It became a security blanket of sorts. Even if he did not need it, just having an inhaler handy was a great peace of mind for him and especially for his mother and I. In preparation for our trip, I had put a fresh inhaler on the kitchen table for him. He might never need to use it at the lake during our time away, but neither of us wanted to risk a problem.

“I’m sorry, Dad.” he said. “I meant to grab it and totally forgot.” I was a little miffed but not actually pissed. He needed a fresh inhaler just in case. I turned around. We called Robert to tell him we had to go home and get an inhaler. Robert and his son lived down in Morgan City and were going to meet us at the camp.

“Well, we will be a little late getting to the lake. Big deal.” I said to Darren, shrugging, blowing off the inconvenience. “I’d rather be late than you get into trouble and need that inhaler. It IS gonna cost you though.” I glanced sideways to see Darren tense. “I’m gonna drink beer while YOU clean the fish, the ones you catch AND mine.. You messed up buddy. You pay!” Darren laughed and nodded. He knew I was not really pissed. I rarely got pissed at either of my kids. Even when I did, it passed quickly. All was forgiven.

That was a point I had made early on. You forgive family when somebody messes up. Family is everything. You stand by each other through thick and thin. It is us against the world if it comes to it.

Needless to say, that whole philosophy went to shit when we got back home. There was a strange car in our driveway. “Whose car is that?” Darren asked. I had a bad feeling. I had seen the silver Audi in the parking lot where my wife worked.

“Be careful.” I said as I pulled into my driveway. “Don’t slam the truck door. Barely close it. Be as quiet as you can.” The “Huhh?” I got in reply told me my son had not caught on yet. But he complied.

We walked to the front door and I unlocked it. Once inside, I knew Darren caught on. The sounds coming from the direction of my bedroom left no doubt of what was happening. I made my way back. I froze. The door to my bedroom, the one I shared with my wife of some twenty years was half open. The sounds emanating left little to the imagination. Masculine grunts and a feminine voice squealing made it clear the two involved where in the throws of having sex. I looked inside.

My wife Sheila was on her knees and elbows in the doggie position sideways on the bed. A man I recognized as one of her coworkers stood behind pounding away, holding my wife by the hips. Her hanging C cup breasts flopped wildly proving just how vigorously the man was thrusting. They were

oblivious my son and I were off to one side and behind taking in the action. I barely restrained myself from stepping inside. I envisioned myself stepping up and punching him in his flank just under the rib cage to nail his kidney. Then grab him by whatever I could, hair, ear, or whatever I could and dragging him off my wife only to drop him onto the floor and stomping his ass into the carpet. How I held back is still a mystery. Maybe because he was a few inches taller than me and outweighed me but at least thirty pounds. Plus he was probably five years younger than my forty one and obviously very fit.

I knew the element of surprise was in my favor and my son would keep him from turning the tables on me and hurting me too bad. But I had heard a few stories of men finding themselves in similar circumstances and their violent response never worked out for them. My partner’s brother had learned exactly that when he caught his first wife screwing her lover. Even with a good lawyer he served a year at the parish penal farm and got a ten year probation. He might have got away with just a slap on the wrist like probation had he not changed his target from the man’s balls to his face. Sometimes juries around here feel a sense of justice but the damage he did was too much to overlook.

I think perhaps the real reason I held back was because my son was standing by my side. My restraint was certainly NOT conscious. I froze a half second. That was enough to understand Darren already had his cell phone out and was recording the activity. His reaction was automatic. See something and record it. The second or two it took me to realize what he was doing was enough to give me pause. After several more seconds, I turned and pushed him down the hall. On our way to the front door, I grabbed the inhaler we had left on the kitchen table.

“Dad?” Darren asked tentatively as we got to the truck. “Are you okay?” I had stopped and leaned on the hood. I felt sick to my stomach. I was shaking. I nodded.

“Give me a sec.”I gasped. I took a few deep breaths to settle myself. “Don’t slam the door when you get in, just the first click. I hope they don’t hear me cranking the engine.” I started the engine and quickly pulled out of my driveway. As we drove down the street we opened and pulled the doors shut. It is hard to fully close a truck door without making a fair bit of noise.

“Sharon needs to be told.” Darren said. “We need to bring her into the loop. She’d be mad as Hell if we kept this from her for even a few days.” Later I would remember his first instinct was to confide in his sister, not say the obvious about what he had just seen.

Once again I nodded. Then, for some reason I saw some humor in his statement. “Yeah. If you kept this to yourself and did not tell her, she’d probably nail you in the balls.” I laughed. I could see Darren wince and and nod as he pulled out his phone.

“Hey! We need to talk.” he began when she answered. “It’s important.”

“No shit, numbnuts!” Sharon yelled loudly enough I could hear her plainly. “Did you finally read the text I sent you yesterday afternoon telling you exactly that? And you brushed me off! I’m mad enough at you right now your nuts are in danger! And I’m not discussing this over the phone.”

“Where are you?” Darren asked.

“Where do you think I am?” Sharon asked. “I’m at Rachael’s, where I’ve been since last night.” I turned at the next corner. When Darren told his sister we’d be there in a few minutes, Sharon stopped and breathed, “You aren’t at the camp already? You are in town? With Dad?”

“Had to come home to get an inhaler.” Darren said. “We saw something. And need to have a talk.”

Sharon said, “Oh! So it’s Mom.” as we pulled up in front of Rachael’s house. Darren and I shot each other a glance as the call disconnected. We parked behind Sharon’s car. Rachael’s mother, Karen was already opening the front door as we got out of the truck.

“We’ve had a few discussions last night.” Karen offered softly and stepped aside to let us pass.

“I’m sorry, Daddy!” Sharon cried when we stepped into the living room. “I just needed to talk to Darren first.” She grabbed me in a tight embrace. She shook as she hugged me.

“How long have you known your mother was cheating?” I asked. Her answer floored me.

“I didn’t. I knew one of you was messing around but did not know until Darren just called who it was.” Karen suggested we go into the kitchen and sit at the table. She offered Darren and I something drink and poured us cups of coffee.

Sharon continued. “I left school and went by the house yesterday at lunch. There was a strange car in the driveway. It was parked way over where Darren usually parks.” I asked her what made her think something was going on. “Duhh. Nobody is supposed to be home in the middle of the day. Especially a strange car. The front door was locked and I peeked around back and did not see any door broken. I’d heard about that kind of thing. I just knew either you or Mom was inside with somebody.”

I thought that was a stretch and said so. She explained. “Neither of your cars was visible and why would anybody park way over to the side, next to the fence if it was a visitor? They’d park right there in the driveway close to the front door.” Her rationale made sense. Smart girl.

I looked at both Karen and Rachael. They did not seem to be surprised by any of this. Obviously, the three of them had discussed all this already. “Yeah, Mom had a guy in there.” Darren said. “Wait til you see the video I took.” He pulled out his phone.

“Wait a minute.” I interrupted immediately. “I want you to send that video to me and then delete it. Your sister does not see it and you don’t need to see it again.”

“Dad, I’ll send you a copy but you need to have backups. You might delete it by accident. Besides it is already in the cloud. And you know Sharon is not going to let this go. If I’ve seen it, she is going to insist she does also.” Darren said. I knew he was right. No matter what I said, he was going to eventually show his sister the whole thing. I capitulated. Before he could pull up the video his phone rang. “It’s Mom!” he said. I knew she suspected she had been caught. I shrugged. This was going south faster than I intended.

“Hey, Mom.” he answered. “What’s up?”

‘Where are you?” Sheila asked. “Are you at the camp yet?”

“We’re close.” Darren answered. “But not at the camp yet.” I almost laughed. Technically we were close and not at the camp.

“”Why not? You left early this morning.” my wife asked. I knew she was fishing. Maybe she did not know for sure we had been back to the house.

“Well, with all the back roads we can’t drive that fast.” Darren said. “Plus Dad decided we needed more beer so we made a little detour to buy some.” I was trying to keep a straight face. Darren was quick on his feet.

Suddenly Sharon mouthed at me. “Your phone” and gestured urgently. I handed it over. She began to swipe and touch icons. She held it up to show Darren something. He put his phone on speaker and began to hit icons.

“He already had a couple cases! How much beer do you guys need? I know Robert is gonna bring some and probably a bottle of whisky. You guys be careful out there with all that alcohol!” she admonished. “Uhh, did you get that inhaler? The one on the kitchen table?” Sheila asked. Damn!!!, she noticed it missing.

“Yeah, I got it just before we left this morning.” Darren said, innocently. “I ran back inside after I pulled the truck out and Dad put his car in the garage. I think you had already gone back upstairs.”

“Oh, I thought I saw it later.” Sheila offered. The doubt in her voice was evident. She was doubting her memory, wondering if she saw the inhaler before or after she went back upstairs after wishing us a fun trip. Her anticipation of her lover’s arrival might have distracted her. She told us to have fun again and hung up.

I was breathing a sigh of relief when Sharon’s phone rang. “What’s up, Mom?” she asked as she answered.

“Have you heard from your Dad or brother this morning?” Sheila asked. Sharon said Darren had called Rachael this morning, not too long ago. “Why do you have me on speaker?” Sharon smoothly answered they were getting ready to eat breakfast. She was pouring milk and needed her hands free. “Were they at the camp yet?” my wife asked.

“Nope.” Sharon answered. “He was sitting in the truck while Dad was in a liquor store buying beer. He said they had to wait a while for the store to open and he was bored. So he called Rachael to talk. That’s what woke us up. We were gonna sleep in. Now we are getting ready to eat.” Sheila told her to have fun at the spa. “Are you sure you don’t want to go, Mom?” Sheila said she had too much to do and said goodbye. “Yeah, I’m sure she had some stuff to do. Or SOMEONE to do.” Sharon added bitterly as she hug up.

“Do you think she used that locator app before she called?” I asked. “It sounded like she was fishing.”

“Let’s find out.” Sharon said and examined my phone. “No but she has used it several times in the past month. That is as far back as the history reports. Let’s see what days these are. Yeah. Every Wednesday and Friday just before noon. Well, except week before last. She skipped that week.” Sharon colored slightly as she said. “I know why that was. Mom had her period then.” Darren asked her why she tracked their Mom’s period. “I don’t. I track mine. Mom and I have our periods at almost the same time. Remember your biology? Females who live together tend to synch up their cycles. An evolutionary thing.” Rachael and Karen nodded.

“I wonder how long this affair had been going on.” I said. “At least a month obviously. I am guessing she was checking where I was at that time of day in case I stopped by the house or met up with at her office. I occasionally take her out to lunch.” Make that TOOK, I thought wryly. ” I wonder why she would take the risk of using our house, though. It seems like it would be easy to get caught. Even if I was across town and you guys were at school, a neighbor might notice a strange car in the drive often and say something.”

“Well, I imagine motels get expensive after a while.” Karen offered. “I am guessing they normally park in the garage. Then the cars aren’t visible. But why did the guy park outside yesterday?”

“My truck was in my spot inside. We had it half loaded and I did not want to risk something getting stolen.” I said making sense of the puzzle. “Today, my car is in there. The guy had to park outside.” Everybody looked at me as they took it all in.

“So what happens now, Dad?” Sharon asked. “What are you going to do?” I paused a few seconds before I answered.

“Short term or long term?” I asked quietly. “Long term, I honestly cannot see our marriage surviving. I am going to divorce Sheila.” Both Sharon and Darren stiffened reflexively as they thought about it. “Could I respect myself if I let your mother get away with this? We made a vow when we got married. I know it sounds like a cliche but that was supposed to be before God. I lived by my vow.” I almost broke down. This hurt to say. I had to say it though. “Your mother has shown a level of disrespect that is just too much to forgive. If I let her get away with it, she would never really respect me again either. It would just be a matter of time before she cheated again.”

“Now short term is a more pressing problem.” I admitted. “I’m not quite sure what to do. This is Saturday morning.” I looked at my wristwatch. “It is only ten. It feels like afternoon. Okay. For now, I do not want your mother to get the idea we know what she has been doing. I need some time to process this and figure out what I need to do. I can’t talk to anybody until Monday anyway. Or do any real business.”

Karen cleared her throat and looked at me. “What am I, chopped liver?” she asked. “I have an idea of some of the things you will need to consider. Or did you forget I am a paralegal? We don’t do divorces but the guy in the office next door does. He is pretty good. We generally refer our clients needing family law to him and if it has to do with estates or investment funds, he refers to us.” I had not forgotten Karen’s career. I just knew she worked for a lawyer with whom I did a lot of business as an accountant and investment counselor. I told her thanks and said I would appreciate her advice. “Well like you said, you cannot do much until Monday.”

“Here is what you are facing. In this state you will split all your community property 50/50 unless you have some kind of pre-nup that excludes something.” I shook my head and she continued. “That includes your investment accounts and sometimes retirement accounts. The money you put away for Sharon and Darren for college is not included even though your names are on the accounts. Anything else is fair game. As soon as you file or she files, the balances of the accounts are set. But sometimes people mess with those amounts to screw the other over. Say Sheila gets the idea you know what she has been doing. She goes out and spends a bunch of money. She could go to Neiman Marcus and buy a whole pile of expensive dresses, shoes and handbags. Run up a bill amounting to thousands of dollars. She keeps the receipts. Later, after the lawyers seal the accounts, she returns everything. Even if they charge her a restocking fee, she is way ahead. The courts generally consider jewelry as part of the community property but look past a person’s clothing. They mainly look at the value of accounts and other physical property.”

“Where did you get that idea of her going on a spending spree?” I asked. “You almost make it sound like you have a plan.”

Karen smiled. “That divorce lawyer’s paralegal is a friend of mine. She tells me some wild stories. She has told me all kinds of stories of how women and men get caught cheating and all the ploys they use to hide money. Some are illegal as Hell and if you get caught you can even get jail time but people still try. The clothing thing is something that women get away with. It is why you want to cancel your joint credit cards first thing. Plus split any checking, savings or investment accounts. BUT you don’t want to alert your spouse too early. You want to be in the position of power. Move all at once.”

I was reeling. “What do you really suggest I do now? Today?” I asked.

“Nothing. Act normal. Go to your fish camp, fish, drink beer and think. Write notes about what you have that is of value. Don’t talk to Sheila if you think you might lose your temper and give yourself away. These two seem have convinced her that her secret is still that, a secret. Rachael, Sharon and I are going to keep our reservation at the spa tomorrow. We’ll get pampered like we intended. We’ll be home Tues afternoon or early evening. Sharon will stay with us. If she needs something from your house, she can go over and get it when she knows Sheila is at work. We’ll just extend her time with us for the rest of Spring break. Okay with you Sharon?” My daughter nodded her head. “Frank, you take Darren to the lake and have fun. Well as much fun as you can under the circumstances. Come back Tuesday or so when you have at least sort of a plan. Or a firm intention you can bounce off a lawyer. I can make a call and get you an appointment if you want to use the guy next door I told you about. Unless you have your own lawyer of course.” I shook my head and told her to get me an appointment. “Ed’s a good guy. I think you’ll like him.”

I took Karen aside before we left. I noticed the kids went off together to talk privately. “Thanks a lot Karen. I really appreciate your help.” I saw tears appear in her eyes. I was puzzled. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.” she answered. “I was just thinking that your family is going to suffer a great tragedy. It is going to break apart. The good thing is the kids are about to graduate high school. I went through something like this years ago. It hurts.” I gave her a hug. I did not realize until later her hug back was a little more clingy than the friendly hug of the mother of my daughter’s best friend should be.

Darren and I drove to the fish camp without talking a whole lot. Neither of us wanted to play the radio, which I offered several times. “Okay, before we get to the camp and talk with your uncle and cousin, is there anything you want to talk about?” Darren shook his head.

Then he relented. “Actually I was thinking about what you might be going through.” he said abruptly. “I really like Rachael. We are still in high school and I know the odds are we won’t be together in the future. We are super close but it’s not like we are married and……”

I waited quietly until he was ready to continue. “I thought about seeing her with another guy. Not after we broke up, but while I thought everything was cool and we were together. That bothers me. Seriously. It sort of gives me an idea of what you are going through with Mom. I can’t even imagine the feeling you must have now. You’ve been with Mom for twenty years!” I nodded. I barely kept myself from crying.

I stopped and bought a few more cases of beer. My brother might have brought some, but now I knew I wanted to have plenty more on hand. I also knew you can call a credit card company and they list the last several purchases. I wanted one listed for this morning that would match a beer purchase. I might be overthinking Sheila’s desire to maintain her secret life and check up on me but I did not care. “Well, I didn’t exactly lie to Mom about us stopping for more beer.” Darren offered with a grin to lighten the mood. “Just the time was off. I did lie about who grabbed the inhaler though.You picked it up.”

Robert greeted me with a cold beer as soon as we pulled up to the cabin. He introduced his friend Dave and his son Eric. Darren, his cousin and Eric were delegated to unload the truck and haul everything inside. I noticed they started with the beer. Robert was eying me suspiciously. “You wanta tell me what’s up now or later in private?” Dave stepped away quietly to give us space. I called Dave back and told him he might as well hear it too. It would not be a secret long as I’d be dwelling on it for the next few days.

I explained the morning’s events, including the discussion at Karen’s house. Dave surprised me when he said.”I went through a divorce last year for the same reason. My wife decided she’d rather ride her boss’s dick than mine.” We waited until the boys finished hauling everything inside to continue our talk. The boys wanted to get started fishing so they pulled out the pirogues and their tackle. Each boy was allowed a single can of beer.

Darren grinned at the other boys and announced. “This is so we don’t go far. We’ll have to paddle back for refills often.” I started to correct him and tell him not that often, but when both Robert and Dave laughed, I kept quiet. The legal drinking age is of course twenty one, but nobody would really care out here. It was unlikely we would see anybody else anyway. Maybe a passing boat out in the channel.

“So you can give me some advice on what kinds of things I should do.” I said to Dave.

“Oh yeah. I learned a lot.” Dave said. “First thing I learned is do NOT even offer to kick the asshole’s butt. I got slapped with a restraining order so fast it made my head spin. I got it removed but that is later in my story. Let me get another beer and I’ll tell you.” I could tell he and Robert had already been indulging a bit before I got there. As Dave began his story, his slight Cajun accent deepened. “I told the pissant I was gonna use his balls as crawfish bait. Then I said I might have to include his pecker because his balls didn’t look big enough bait to attract any mudbugs. The guy had that all written in his affidavit. I got a copy framed on my living room wall.” He grinned widely.

“I’d caught the peckerwood balls deep in my wife’s pussy with her bent over the desk in his office. I’d already known he was doin’ her. She’d been acting a little strange for a while. I found out later it was typical cheatin’ wife stuff. Stayin’ late after work. Drinks with her coworkers after work. That kinda crap. And if I had to work overtime on a Saturday, I found out from the kids she’d take off to do some shopping. Grocery shopping does not take half the day.” Robert corrected him and said he never made his men work on a Saturday unless they were behind on a particular project but offered them time frequently because he knew some of the men liked the extra pay and it brought in extra jobs. Dave nodded. “Yeah, the money was sure welcome, I tell ya. Specially with the new furniture and fancy car my wife just had to have.”

“Anyway, one of my buddies confirmed it. He was dating a girl in the same office and she was griping about the boss poppin’ one of the women in the office. I guessed who that was. I talked to her and found out him and the wife was goin’ out for long lunches a coupla times a week for a while. Then he started doing her right there in his office. They tried to hide it and not make a big deal out of it, but the women knew what was going on. Later it turned out he was not only slipping her his dick, he was slipping her some money on the side. She had a little bank account she thought was hidden because it was in a different bank.”

“When I first found out, I had her followed to get proof. That was wasted money. You don’t need proof in this state. But I wanted her to know she was caught dead to rights and so I could show her family and friends what a cheating bitch she was. The day I confronted her, I just walked into her office and asked the girl at the front desk where she was. The deer in the headlights look she gave me told me she knew what was going on. She started to pick up her phone to call back and I grabbed her hand and shook my head. I swear, she kinda smiled at me. I went on back and tried the handle real slow like. It was locked like I expected. I had my phone out, recording. I kicked the door hard, right by the handle. That is harder to do than it looks on TV. I was wearing heavy boots and my foot still hurt like a son of a bitch after. I’m not big, but I am stout and that door did not stand a chance. It flung back and there they were. Both naked as jaybirds, her bent over and him pounding away. They spun around and were too surprised to even cover up. I kept filming for a few seconds as they stood gaping at me. Both their mouths opening and closing like carp. Then they started yelling at me to get out and grabbing for their clothes they had laid over the chairs.”

“I called my wife a cheating bitch and him a few names and then told him about what I ought to do with his pecker and balls. I turned around and about everybody in the whole building were there gathered around to watch. With so many witnesses of what I threatened, he got the restraining order easy.”

“Damn!” I said. I was laughing at the telling despite myself. Robert had of course heard it before, probably several times. He had tears in his eyes as he laughed. “Didn’t you file for divorce or at least talk to a lawyer?”

“Hell yeah!! I already done did both. She got served them papers the same day. I just wanted to put on a show, expose the bitch to one and all. My lawyer told me to NOT do what I did, but I could not resist, ya know?” Dave said grinning.

“You don’t seem to be too upset about it now.” I observed. “Didn’t you say this just happened last year? I would think your feelings would be a little raw still.”

“Oh, it hurt. Especially at first.” Dave said. “Then I got mad. I’d been with the bitch since high school. Oh she had other guys before and I had done some other girls, but once we married it was supposed to be just me and her. She’s just thirty six and not real pretty like model pretty but she was, well is, sexy as Hell. I miss the fuckin’. Hell I miss ALL what we had before she started fucking another man. I get as much fuckin’ as I want now. Well almost. I have to work at it a bit. Most want to settle down and I am not ready for that. Not yet.”

“Why did your wife cheat? Or did you ever find out?” I asked.

“I think it was combination of wanting a little strange and the money he was slipping her on the side.” Dave said, the Cajun story telling accent put aside. “But it sorta came out later she was looking to upgrade. Of course the bastard was married. He was kinda an introduction to her doing better. He wore a suit, not work clothes. She wanted a better status than I gave her. I am guessing here. I probably haven’t said a dozen words to her that was not about the kids in the past year.”

“Tell him the rest.” Robert urged. “That is the funny part.” We all needed another beer by this time. Dave grinned as he continued.

“Now I had filed on the bitch first but she got a lawyer right away. Dickhead getting that restraining order was enough for her to get one to keep me out of my own house. She wanted half of everything we owned. I was told she’d get that anyway She also wanted me to pay half the mortgage on the house, alimony and child support. With all the extra work I did, my income was way more than hers. It looked like I was gonna pay big time.The only concession I got was she would be responsible for all the utilities. That took a bit of argument. She wanted me to pay half because of the kids. She griped about that but my lawyer told her that was what the alimony and child support was for.

I found a little place nearby living with another dude. I’ll tell ya now, that sucked. Even for a little while. But it gave me a place to put my stuff and sleep. We were in the process of getting all our stuff appraised for value. Ya know, figure how much everything is worth so we could split it. I wanted my guns and boat. She wanted the furniture and all the house stuff and because we still had two underage kids, she’d get to stay in the house. You met Eric. I got a daughter a year younger. She is going to turn seventeen soon. Neither of them was happy with what their Momma did but they were told by the bitch and her lawyer to deal with it.”

“My lawyer said different. He said they were old enough to decide who they wanted to live with.” Dave continued. “Problem was, depending on the judge, I might still have to pay the bitch child support even if they moved in with me. I talked to a friend who lives over in Texas and that is what happened to him. He said they check everybody going into the court room. If you have a dick, you lose.” Robert and I had enough beer all this had us chuckling. Well Robert anyway. I was listening raptly and thinking about my kids’ ages. They were both eighteen.

“My kids acted on their own and saved the day.” Dave said. “I will swear I had nothing to do with what they did. Actually, I DID have to swear in court because I was accused of instigating the whole thing. I’ll admit now I had the original idea of what they could do but my kids took it to a whole ‘nother level.”

“They told me fuckwad was a regular visitor since I had to move out. Now this was just a coupla weeks after the filing so most of the stuff I told you about our negotiations was still up in the air. Oh, one other thing I learned. The more you argue back and forth, the more you pay the lawyer.”

“Here it goes!” Robert said cackling. He had obviously heard it told and I am guessing he relished the story every time.

Dave grinned as he continued, “One afternoon dickhead was over at my former house. Like I said this was just a few weeks after me kicking down his door. Eric waited until he figured dickwad and the bitch were getting it on and he went out onto the front porch. He had a megaphone. You know one of those things where the cops yell at the house ‘come out with your hands up’. He had it turned up to the max. Now I know this is accurate because I have seen the video. I even send out copies. It was even on facebook on my wife’s page until she deleted it. It is still on mine. I don’t bring it up often though. Not every month like I did for a while.”

“My son stood in the front yard and started broadcasting…”My mother, Lisa Fontenot is upstairs right now screwing her boss Ed Mcbride. Mom is still married to my Dad so she is an adultering whore. Ed Mcbride who lives at, and he read off the dickhead’s address, is ALSO married. He is married to Julie Mcbride and has three children. He is also an adulterer.”

Now some of our neighbors were already outside. It was mid afternoon on a Saturday. Others came outside when they heard the broadcast. Eric went through his speech again. He started describing Mcbride as Lisa’s boss and how he paid the bitch to have sex, taking food out his own children’s mouths so he could have fun with a whore.”

“You have to be kidding!” I exclaimed. “Your son threw his own mother under the bus publicly to the whole neighborhood?” Dave nodded and took a sip of his beer.

“Wait. It gets better!” Robert declared.

“Well, it did not take long for both the bitch and the asshole to hit the front door.” Dave said. “Dickwad was trying to button his pants as he ran. The bitch had on this little robe she wore. It only came down to mid-thigh. It was obvious she was naked under it. Her titties kept popping out as she tried to run outside and tie the thing at the same time.”

“Dickwad punched my son. Eric saw it coming and dropped the megaphone and covered his face with both forearms. He took a double punch and fell to the ground and curled up. Dickwad bent over him screaming he was going to kick the shit out of him. The good thing was he did not have shoes. The bitch stood a few feet away yelling how could Eric embarrass her like that and what a piece of shit he was. And how he deserved to get his ass kicked. Neither noticed my daughter standing to one side videoing the whole thing from start to finish. That’s how I knew exactly what happened. After about the third kick, Eric tried to move away. The bitch called him a disrespectful little shit and said she ought to kick his ass too. Then they saw my daughter with her phone. The bitch screamed ‘Oh fuck! She has a camera!” and Dickwad charged my daughter screaming for her to give him the phone or else. The video ended with that.”

“Were they hurt?” I asked. Dave shook his head.

“Nope. The neighbor across the street headed over as soon as Dickhead came out the front door. He knocked the asshole down just as he got started for my daughter and offered to kill him if he tried to get up. She’d already turned and ran anyway. Dickwad was barefoot and could not go fast anyway so he had no chance of catching her. I heard from my daughter later they counted on that. She’d set up the phone to send everything to the cloud. She anticipated dickhead might grab her phone and steal it or break it. Another neighbor had already called 911. As soon as she could, my daughter called me. I broke the restraining order but that was all forgiven later. I was there to watch both the bitch and dickhead cuffed and arrested. It was great!!!” Dave chortled.

“As a result, I got the house, custody of both kids so of course no child support, no alimony. My ex actually has to pay me half the mortgage until both kids leave and we sell the house. Also half the utilities because she had stated that was fair when she wanted it from me. Dickwad got convicted of two counts of assault on a juvenile since he went after both my kids. His wife had already filed to start divorce proceedings because she had my video of him pounding my wife over her desk so all his legal fees were deducted from his half of their assets. He is serving two years in the parish penal farm. The bitch got off. She is on probation which makes me happy because now she can work and pay me my money.” Dave laughed so hard I thought he was going to fall over. Robert was laughing as well. I admit I felt a little better seeing somebody got through the experience relatively intact. Dave told me later during our stay and we were both at least relatively sober, the ‘bitch’s’ cheating really did hurt him. He said it would take him a while to trust another woman totally like he had trusted his ex. “No matter how much I love the next woman, I might get a pre-nup just in case. Not going to risk getting burned again.” he said.

We talked about a lot of other things over the next few days. I had more monetary assets than Dave, But he had a boat, home, and a serious gun collection like me. His main caution was for me to “not get stupid’.

Not all our conversations were about cheating wives and divorce. I walked out the back door of the cabin the next morning to see Robert bent over the railing. “What are you doing?” I called. One hand reached back waving to tell me to quiet down. His concentration obviously on whatever was down below. I tiptoed forward. He had a fishing rod in his hand. I peaked over. He was trying to lasso the head of a snake sunning on the lower deck with the loop hanging from his fishing rod.

“Oh yeah!” he screamed loudly as he pulled the large reptile up into the air. It writhed and twisted. “I’d seen this done with lizards. It works on snakes too!” he yelled, now holding the pole with both hands.

“You idiot!” I exclaimed. “What the fuck are gonna doing with that thing?” Robert looked over his shoulder at me, a shit-eating grin on his face. I watched as he pulled the snake over the railing. He picked up a large knife and cleanly severed the snake’s head. He used the large blade to flip the head of the moccasin into the water.

“I’m gonna use this to bait my trotline!” he answered gleefully. As kids we would go out to the camp and even further into the swamp with our father. We had to start with catching our bait. And if we did not catch anything to eat we would not eat well that night. Of course Dad always made sure we had something. Usually beans and rice. Both could be packed dry. The challenge to provide for ourselves was part of the game. We relished the opportunity to feed ourselves when out in the swamp. Catching a moccasin for bait was taking the game a little too far in my opinion. “Pussy!” Robert accused, grinning. His response was automatic. I caught myself a second later. He had not followed that insult with a reference of my present marital state, or he might very well have found himself over the rail and into the water.

“I’m just not sure I need bait that bad.” I joked. “I know how to net some mudbugs or seine for minnows.” He grinned back.

“This is more fun!” he said.

Our time at the lake was just what I needed. I had time away from ‘real life’ to concentrate on something else. Something closer to my roots. Between the group of us, we had packed away pounds of fish fillets to take home. That was Robert’s and Dave’s goal. Mine was to return with my sanity intact. I wondered where I would store the fish I had. I was not going home. I decided to take it over to Karen’s house. We all left the camp content.

Darren and I drove home. ‘What are you thinking, Dad?” he asked. “Eric told me how he messed with the guy his Mom was seeing. I’m not sure that would work for us.”

“I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t.” I said. “Don’t worry about trying anything on your own. We are in a totally different situation as Dave and Eric. You and Sharon are older. Over eighteen so legally adults. And close to graduation so don’t do anything that could get yourselves in trouble. The rest of the stuff will fall how the law dictates.”

“You aren’t gonna let the guy Mom’s doing off the hook are you?” Darren asked, alarmed. I could tell he was wondering about my resolve.

“Hell no!” I said. “I am trying to figure the best way to mess with him.’ Darren grinned back. “I just don’t want you or your sister risking getting hurt.”

Eric had told Darren his side of the story. He caught a couple hard slugs to the head a had bruises where the guy kicked him but bragged it was worth it to nail the bastard. He and his sister had carefully planned what they would do, but it could have turned out badly if the neighbors had not been around.

Before we left the camp everyone agreed to not say a word until all legal action had been settled or at least until Sheila was served. Robert frowned and said he would have to tell his wife but would make sure neither would say a word to Sheila if she happened to call. We suspected she might call him to check my whereabouts since we disabled the locator app. “You know I am gonna have to tell Sharon all about what we talked about at the camp?” Darren asked tentatively. I nodded. There was no way Darren would or even could keep secrets from his sister nor would I ask him to try. He relaxed. I was sure Sharon had some ideas of her own by now. I reminded Darren once again to not do anything stupid and make sure Sharon didn’t either. He probably had more influence with her than I did.

Our first stop was Karen’s home. The girls had arrived a scant hour before. “We brought back several pounds of catfish and bass fillets. Can we keep the meat in your freezer?” I asked Karen.”Of course feel free to cook and eat as much of it as you want.” She agreed quickly and said that while she’d love some fish tonight she was sure Darren and I were not in the mood to eat fish again after spending all that time at the lake. I asked her how everything had gone since Darren and I had left Saturday morning.The three kids had already disappeared so we could talk privately.

“Pretty good, actually. I was concerned Sharon was going to have a hard time with it all. She is pretty upset with her mother, which is totally understandable. She broke down at one point the first day and bawled. She said her Mom had fucked up her family and she wished… Well she broke it off there. I’ve tried to be there for her to talk to. That hasn’t worked as well as I had hoped. She talks to Rachael though. I tried to get Rachael to tell me something and she refused. I cant press any harder. I’m sorry, hon.” Karen caught herself quickly. “I call everybody hon when we have a personal talk.” she said in explanation. I wondered.

I liked Karen. I always had. I knew her backstory and her present circumstances. Without prying but just from comments from Darren and Sharon I knew she was not seeing anybody seriously and had not for a long time. I’m sure my wife and her talked. She had occasional dates of course. The woman was beautiful. I’m sure she attracted men like bugs to a light bulb. I’d hear a comment from Rachael about how she wished her mother would meet somebody with whom she could connect. Then I’d overhear her tell Darren something like. “Yeah, Mom went out on a date but got home early, again.” I suspected Rachael might have wanted her mom to stay out late so she could have the house to herself for a few hours. Darren probably did too.

“How are you doing?” Karen asked, concerned. Her eyes squinted as if she was trying to read my mind. I answered honestly that I was in a good place and told her about Dave and his story. “Oh I wish I could have heard that first hand!” she declared, giggling.

I asked how the rest of the weekend went after I left. “We had fun.” she reported. ” Nothing mind boggling.” Then she grinned and added, “or kinky. We got our skin buffed and puffed ALL OVER. We got our nails done. Personally I did not care for the pedicure, but the girls thought the attention was great.” Karen stepped to the fridge and pulled out two beers. “I’m sure you didn’t drink so much at the camp you wouldn’t want one now.” she said smiling. I smiled back. “First order of business is dinner. How does spaghetti sound? I can whip up some fairly fast.” I said I thought I would take all of us out to supper.

“Do think that wise? What if Sheila runs into us?” Karen asked. I saw her point. She ordered me to park my truck in her garage in case Sheila happened to stop by after work to see Sharon.

“Dad, I just realized I can’t get to my car.” Darren said. He was distressed, “Mom will know we are back in town.” We had just sat down to eat. The kids had been talking in another room while Karen and I cooked.

Rachael piped up, “Ahhh poor baby!” she giggled. “You are just gonna have to depend on Sharon and I to get around for a few days. I know. You can stay here with us in the guest room. That way your Dad can get his business done.” Sharon was nodding in agreement.

“That is NOT gonna happen.” I said quickly, seeing Karen frown at her daughter’s suggestion. “You’ll just have to be my shadow for the next couple days.” Darren groaned. Everybody laughed. ” Here’s the plan. Darren and I are going to be checking into a motel. Karen got me an appointment to see her friend, the lawyer tomorrow afternoon and I have a list of things to get done beforehand including taking care of the finances. That will take most of the morning. But maybe I can drop Darren off here before I get started. IF Karen is okay with it.” Karen nodded, smiling. “Have you heard from your mother, Sharon?”

“Yeah, she called this afternoon to see how things were going.” Sharon answered. “I told her we would be back this evening. I also told her I was going to stay over here the rest of the week. Surprise, surprise. She did not even hesitate before she agreed. She did ask if I’d heard from either of you. She tried to call and you did not answer. I’m sure she is fishing to see how much time she has for her boytoy.”

I reached for my phone. Darren and I had turned our phones off. I turned mine back on and sure enough there were several texts from Sheila asking why neither of us would answer and wanting to make sure everything was okay. I called her and put her on speaker. “Where have you been?” she demanded when she answered. “I was worried. When are you coming home?”

“Slow down. First, did something happen you need us to come home right now?” I asked. She said no, she was just concerned when she could not get hold of us. “We turned our phones off to preserve our batteries. Neither Darren nor I took a charger. We wanted our phones available in case of emergency. I just turned mine on now to check in.”

“Didn’t either Robert or his friend bring a charger?” she demanded. I answered they had but the phones were not the same brand and their chargers did not fit. “Okay. Just check in and let me know when you get on the road to come back.” she said. I told I’d call her when I was ready to come home. Sharon snorted and grinned at the others. I had not told a lie. She knew full well I was not going home anytime soon.

Karen and I went into the living room leaving the kids to clean up the kitchen. “Thanks for speaking up quickly about Darren staying here. You know they have had sex even if they try not to be blatant about it.” I told her I was sure they had. “Well, I like Darren and approve, of course, but…..” I said I understood the ‘but’ meant it was just not appropriate for him to stay there. Karen smiled, “There are a couple things I would like to do that are not appropriate either.” she said impishly before changing the subject. “So it sounds like you are not just going to get a legal opinion. You are going to move forward with the divorce? No chance of reconciliation?” We had already talked about the past few days. I thought my intentions were pretty clear. For some reason she thought it important to clarify my intention and reasoning.

“I’m not sure if this is even Sheila’s first affair. She seems pretty good at covering her tracks.” I said. “Thinking about it, that phone locator app might have been intended to keep track of my whereabouts as much as the kids. It was her idea in the first place. And she sure went out of her way to check in with us this week to make sure we stayed away. To me that shows she has no guilt nor any intention to stop. I can’t live with that. No way. I need a woman who is loyal.” Karen smiled.

“I’ll help you. If you need a base of operations, you can use my house. I have a two car garage where you can store as much as you you need. Rachael and I will park in the driveway. Sharon can stay here for as long as she wants. If we need to, I’d even go along with letting Darren stay. The kids are gonna need to go back to school next week and they study together anyway. I don’t think keeping them separate at night will slow those kids down, to be honest. Sharon being with them will do more than that as far as keeping them apart and from screwing like rabbits.” I looked at her in surprise. “Okay. The screwing like rabbits is what I’d do if I had the chance.” she said quietly, blushing avoiding direct eye contact.

I could tell she had been running scenarios through her head since she first learned about Sheila cheating. I left what I was thinking unsaid. It was far too early for me to get those thoughts. “I’m glad I can rely on you, Karen.” I said sincerely. I took her hand and squeezed it. Her smile was dazzling.

I had always been attracted to Karen. She was a beautiful woman. She could have been a model. Her personality was as great as her body. Why she did not have a string of boyfriends surprised me. She had been close to our family for almost ten years since our daughters became best friends. She had eaten at our home too many times to count over the years and spent enough time there to become a part of the family. This past year plus during the lock down almost melded our households into one. The kids spent their days together for their virtual classwork. Meals were a group thing. Sometimes Karen cooked and brought over food and sometimes we cooked at my house. Having her around was not a strain between Sheila and I. We both loved to have the woman and her daughter around. I was married so I left my erotic fantasies about her unsaid. I purposely refrained from discussions of her sex life or lack thereof. I recognized she was hinting she might have shared some of those fantasies of us together as well. I would have to think about her in another light now. But it was far too early to consider a relationship.

When the kids were finished, Darren and I unloaded our fishing equipment and put it all away in a corner of Karen’s garage. We only kept our clothes and toiletries with us. “Stand tough.” I said to Sharon as I hugged her goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening and bring you and Darren up to date. I’ve decided I will drop Darren off here in the morning.” Karen gave me a tight hug before I climbed into the cab of my truck to drive away. Darren noticed and smirked but did not say a word.

First order of business would be to split the money in our accounts. But I wanted to do it in such a way I would not alert Sheila. Dave had told me about some of the crap his wife had tried to pull on him. He was ahead of her in the game though. One of the first issues I needed to deal with was our joint credit card. I called and paid off the balance. I told them to close the account and tried to open one in my name. They refused to send one to an address that was not on file. Finally I told the woman why I wanted it. She sympathized and said that was a common reason but they had to follow the rules. Finally I got a personal card using my business address. They would do that because I already had a card for business purposes in my name.

Then I called Sheila to tell her I had lost my credit card somewhere. “What do you need a card for at the camp? Are you coming back home?” she asked quickly. I could tell she wanted to make sure her plans with her boy toy were not interrupted.

“No, I made a beer run and my personal card was not in my wallet. Last time I saw it was Saturday morning. I thought I put it back in my wallet but maybe not.” I lied. She complained a bit about why we were drinking so much beer and I told her there was six of us drinking and ice only lasts so long. We were keeping the fish we caught in the fridge and didn’t have that much room for beer so were using ice chests. I heard a heavy sigh as she accepted my explanation.

“It may be somewhere at the camp but I don’t want to take any risk on somebody finding and using it. When I called to close the account there were not any new purchases. I was surprised you did not go out to eat or anything.” I wanted to put her on the defensive. “You haven’t done anything since I’ve been gone? Just sit there at the house at night by yourself?” I thought I heard a stammer. Her answer she had a little cash told me she also likely had a card I did not know about. I hung up.

I was glad I had thought to use my business card to buy fuel and pay for the motel yesterday. I kept the receipts and would pay it back later. When I took half the checking and savings account balances I asked for statements and checked them for recent withdrawals. Sheila had indeed taken one hundred dollars out Monday. Using the house as her lovenest was saving her some money. She generally withdrew a hundred dollars every week or two for lunches and spending money, but thinking about it, she still used the card for most things. I never thought about how much money she was actually spending. It was not a major issue and I trusted her to be responsible.

The biggest problem for me was our investment account. I really did not want to give half of it to Sheila. I had decided I would keep as much away from her as I could. I had been the driving force for its success anyway. I made the investments. We both deposited some into the account each payday.

I stopped by work to inform my partner what was going on and get his advice. He was not pleased to hear Sheila was a cheating bitch as he calls any wife having an affair. “You know my brother’s story.” he said. “His lawyer wrote up a general power of attorney for him to sign giving me the ability to take care of business for him while he was in jail. We were going to try to keep his wife from getting any of his investment account but did not act in time. As soon as he stomped that mudhole in the guy’s face and he was arrested, his wife filed. She beat us to the punch by a day. We had planned to transfer almost the whole balance to his kids’ college funds.” I asked him if that was legal. “According to his lawyer it is. Of course he wouldn’t get it either but his goal was to keep the bitch from getting it. Actually it turned out better for him. He ran us some big time legal fees trying to stay out of jail. Check with your lawyer when you go and see what he says. It’ll be a small gesture but will piss your wife off and there will be nothing she can do about it.” he said with a laugh.

I sat laughing thinking about it. Sheila and I had started accounts for the kids several years ago. We had enough in there for a couple years tuition at a good university. Our collective income was enough we figured we could pay off other expenses as they popped up. Trouble was, I doubted she would be willing to contribute more than a token once we divorce. She would expect me to do it, though. I’d either have to pay or put the twin’s college education in jeopardy. Combined we made too much for the kids to qualify for financial aid. I sat down with my partner and tried to guess how much would be needed. I decided to give them close to the total amount leaving just a small balance. My partner and I concluded the kids could live in an apartment and even go to graduate school or maybe buy themselves cars after they graduated on what I gave them. And if they did not stay in school, they could set themselves up in business. We wrote the transfer up and he kept it on hold until I called to tell him to put it through. I was able to do it with my signature alone since it was my own children and Sheila and I originally set up the accounts that way so I could transfer money between stocks and bonds.

I’d call if my lawyer said it was legal. I privately thought seriously about doing it anyway and then challenge Sheila to protest by accusing her of being too greedy to want to take care of her own kids’ needs. My appointment with the divorce lawyer was not until early afternoon. I called Karen to ask her out to lunch. I was puzzled with her hesitation. “Are you sure that is a good idea? What if Sheila goes out and sees us together?” I told her today was Wednesday and Sheila was probably looking forward to her ‘nooner’. Karen laughed and relented telling me to come on over. When I got there, I asked her what she thought about my transferring money to Sharon and Darren’s college fund. She laughed. “You really want to put the screws to her don’t you?” she asked. I nodded and told her I’d challenge any protest in front of the kids that she was too cheap to ensure their college. She shook her head and went to ask her boss for his advice. His opinion was it would be legal if I already had documentation to make unilateral decisions for the investment account. And it would not be like I was trying to hide assets. I was simply continuing what we had been doing anyway, just on a larger scale. While Karen got her purse, I called my partner and told him to go for it.

I decided to not take Karen to the restaurant where I frequently take Sheila. That turned out to be a good decision. We had a nice meal. My impending divorce only took up half the conversation. We talked about current events, the kid’s plans for the future and just general small talk. Karen acted more like we were on a date or even a family discussion than a casual meal with a friend. She confirmed that when we got back to my truck. “I know it is too early and probably not the best time to bring this up.” she said hesitantly. “But I want to put my name in the hat for when you want to start dating again.” I turned a little red. It was not anger. It was a blush of quick arousal. She began to stutter and apologize and I held up a hand to stop her.

“I’d like that too.” I said. “I did not want to say anything but I was thinking the same thing. I really like you and need somebody to rely on. You have always been there for me, and I already think of you as part of the family. But you are right. It is too early. I definitely do not want to get into some kind of rebound relationship and have it blow up in our faces. You are too important to me.” I could see her lips turn up slightly in a smile.

“You are coming over for supper tonight aren’t you?” she asked. I told her no. Her initial wince turned into a wide smile when I added I planned to take everybody out to dinner. We’d go across town where it would be unlikely to run into Sheila.

My meeting with the lawyer went as I expected. He began by handing me a printed list of things I should do and information he’d need. He was surprised when I handed him the file folder containing the documents I had copied. I stopped by the house that morning after making sure Sheila had left for work. I already knew I needed documents like tax returns. While there I even changed the combination on my gun safe just to stop any retaliation on her part. I had come to the attorney’s office prepared based on Karen’s advice. I even had a copy of the video Darren had taken Saturday morning. Sharon had made a few copies. I told him what I had done with the investment account. He shook his head and chuckled. “That’ll start an argument but it won’t go anywhere. I have clients who try to open up secret bank accounts, even off shore accounts. Generally that blows up in their faces. It is too easy to trace money nowadays. These tax returns will give us a great start and of course we will have to get some appraisals to value property. You mentioned a fish camp. Is that community property?” I shook my head and told him it was not even mine. It belonged to my father. We just had free use of it.

His next question was when I wanted Sheila served. I told him as soon as he could get the paperwork together. He asked if I would agree to counseling as Sheila might want to include it before she agrees to sign. I told him she could wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up faster. It was not going to happen. She had been having an affair for at least a month and I presumed much longer. I was not even sure this was her first affair. I had already thought this out. I was not going to reconcile no matter what.

He said he would get right on it. His final word of advice was not to do ‘anything stupid’. I said if I was going to I would have done it when I first caught them in the act. I told him about Dave and what my partner’s brother had done. I then told him the story of Eric’s adventure with the megaphone. He laughed. I paused at the door and asked him if he thought I should call the asshole’s wife and let her know. He told me not yet. Not until he had the paperwork to serve Sheila. He said we needed to consider a couple followup issues but we needed to serve her first.

I asked what he meant. One of the things was her boyfriend’s actual position in the company. If he was Sheila’s supervisor rather than a coworker it could open up some other avenues. He would get back with me on that.

I asked Karen that evening. She explained. “Basically if they have a fraternization policy or if the company can claim the affair is disruptive to their business both Sheila and the guy could get fired. She might use the loss of her income in a claim for alimony. But if he is a supervisor she can keep from getting fired by claiming sexual harassment. “You can even use that against her by arguing she has recourse she should have taken but chose not to just to claim alimony from you. You would probably not get a penny out of any restitution she gets unless you reconcile and stay married. Then it becomes another community property asset.”

I shrugged and repeated my conviction. “I would not stay married to her if she hit the lottery.” Then I paused and grinned. ‘Well, in that case I’d postpone the divorce until I could get my half, but wouldn’t touch her again. Oh shit! Do you think I need to get tested for STD’s? Sheila hates condoms. We never used them and she is on the pill so I am sure she is doing him bareback.” Karen shook her head, saying I could, just for something else to rub in Sheila’s face claiming that I was afraid I was at risk. But judging her record so far Sheila was smart enough to be careful.

“Sheila is smart but she seems to be letting her libido take over her common sense.” I offered.

As we sat down for dinner in the restaurant, Sharon said smirking, “I wonder if Mom is horny tonight. She missed her rendezvous. She spent her lunch hour at a restaurant near her office instead.” Darren and Rachael started laughing. All three laughed so hard they had tears in their eyes and could barely catch their breath. I looked at them and asked them what they did. I knew the restaurant and realized I had dodged a bullet by taking Karen elsewhere.

“Well, at noon I called Mom and asked her if she happened to do laundry Saturday like she usually does. She said she did some. I’m guessing just bed sheets, though.” Darren and Rachael laughed harder. “Okay, good, I said. Rachael and I are going to the mall later and I wanted to wear the top I wore to school Friday. Mom said she did not do any of my laundry. I said that was fine, I’d stop by the house and start a load of my things and after we came back from the mall, I’d put them in the dryer. I needed to get some fresh clothes anyway. and I’d just pick out another top to wear today. She asked if I was at the house now. Mom was covering of course. She knew I wasn’t because she was. She had pulled up about ten minutes before I called followed by the Audi. We watched them from down the street. I said Rachael and I were going over now. I was just waiting for Rachael to change her top. We both wanted to wear something nice. Oh here she is now. Is there anything you need me to drop in the wash while I’m there? I asked. Mom started stuttering and stammering and said no.” Karen was beginning to laugh as well.

“We timed them to see how long it would be before they left. From where we were parked, we couldn’t see if they had all their clothes on or not. Or if they were still trying to button up. I’m guessing they had just enough time to get naked before I called. Mom knows it takes less than five minutes to drive from Rachael’s house to ours. I would have liked to have a camera to see them scramble.” Sharon said.

I was laughing now. “How long did it take them to get out?” I asked.

“Three minutes, thirty seconds and the Audi shot out of the drive.” Darren answered. “Mom was thirty seconds behind. I’m guessing it took her that long to get the garage door up and make sure it was on the way back down. We almost hoped she’d forget to lower the door so Sharon could call her and tell her the house was open and ask if she ought to call the police, and us at the lake. But it was down.”

“I’d have loved to watch the show from across the street.” I said. Karen agreed. “Maybe you can do something similar Friday or even tomorrow if they try again then. Just have to figure another ploy.” Then I had a thought. “You know it is me she is cheating on. She is still your mother. You need to try to keep a relationship with her.”

“No, Dad.” Darren said his voice turning cold and serious. “She cheated on ALL of us. She made her decision. We talked about it. We might forgive her later, but for now we are PISSED. Messing with her is like us getting spanked when we were little. A punishment for doing something she had no business doing.” Sharon nodded. I could tell from her expression she was not going to listen to me telling her to lighten up on her mother. Actually, I thought this was as funny as what Dave’s son Eric did with the megaphone but much safer.

Darren looked at his sister. “You have a call to make.”

Sharon grinned and pulled out her phone. ” Oh yeah.” I watched Sharon check to make sure Sheila was home before she called. She dialed. “Hey, Mom. Are you home? Cool. Will you go and check the dryer to make sure everything is dry? I did a load and then put it in the dryer. If it isn’t dry add some time okay? Yeah, Karen took Rachael and I out for supper. I may stop by and get a couple of the tops I wanted earlier. We are just finishing up now and will be heading home. Well, not home. Rachael’s home. I might stop by there, though.” She hung up. “Mom wasn’t breathing hard or anything, but she did not sound happy to get my call.” Rachael and Darren were laughing. Karen shook her head. I was impressed.

“I hope you guys don’t ever mess with me like that.” I said.

“Daddy, until you and Darren showed up Saturday morning, I didn’t know which one of you was screwing around.” Sharon said seriously. I understood she would have messed with me just as hard and Darren would have been a willing accomplice if not an instigator.

“So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Darren asked as we neared Karen’s house to get my truck. We had driven past our house. Lights were on but no Audi in the driveway.

“I go looking for an apartment.” I said. “I plan to sell our house as soon as possible. I can’t put it on the market yet, of course. And I’ll need a place to live. We can’t stay in a motel for long. You guys need to decide if you want to live with me or your mother. I’ll put off selling until you graduate if you guys want to live there. I want to force your mother to find her own place. I don’t want to pay for her housing and mine if I can help it. That will be something for the lawyers to work out.”

“Don’t go signing a long term lease.” Karen advised. “Not until you know how all this shakes out. Try to get one of those places that you pay by the week or even the month. They are usually dumps and not real secure but you can put whatever you need to protect at my house. And Sharon can stay with us for however long she wants. So you don’t need to worry about her.” She had told me some of this earlier, but now she was stating it in front of the kids. I hoped she would not offer to have Darren and I stay at her house as well. She didn’t but she glanced at me and winked to tell me that was on her mind. In my present frame of mind I liked the idea of taking her on but not only did I have my own ethics to consider, I had two teenagers. Three, counting Rachael who I had watched grow up. Karen had often told me she appreciated my involvement and being a father figure for her daughter.. I contemplated Karen. Damn I was seriously thinking about it. Five days without sex. I knew I’d be doing myself in the shower tonight.

I did find a place to live without too much trouble. It was a motel that housed construction workers. Recent hurricanes created a market for temporary housing for the influx of builders all across south Louisiana. I knew my brother Robert was capitalizing on the need for building repair or complete reconstruction where he lived. His time at the camp came at a cost. Dave was his foreman but he wanted to keep the man happy and knew he needed time off to decompress so he invited the man and his son to the lake for some down time. They had been friends for years. Robert told me all this while we were at the lake.

The room I found had a tiny kitchenette. A sink, refrigerator and a stove. A microwave hung below the cabinet. Three place settings and few pans completed the kitchen. Maybe Darren and I would fix breakfast but for the most part, we would eat at Karen’s house. That was at her insistence. “Not a bad place.” she said the next afternoon after I signed a month long lease. She came over to see where I was going to live. “You can eat here in the morning and at my house every night.” I started to say something. “If you even begin to say something like not wanting to impose, I will nail you in the nuts like Sharon threatens Darren. I told you before. I am staking my claim. I want to keep you occupied until you are ready to make a decision.”

I began to say something. “No pressure.” she said, cutting me off. “Well maybe a little. Sheila threw you away. I just want a chance. I don’t know if you realized but I have not dated much over the years. I always found myself comparing any guy I met to you. How you treated Sheila. I wanted that. I’ve wanted to be a part of your life. The only thing that kept me from coming onto you was I liked Sheila and I could never have done anything to screw up your marriage.”

Oh fuck! I really did not intend to say what came out of my mouth. “Karen, I guess this is confession time. I would never have messed around on Sheila. I’m just not wired that way. I cannot break a vow, especially a marriage vow. BUT I have fantasized about you. I’ll admit I have fantasized about other women too, like actresses I see in movies but nobody as often as I have with you. You were always the forbidden fruit. Somebody I could never have. Like I said yesterday the timing sucks.”

“Nope.” she said with a smile. “It just means we wait. We see where it goes. No sex. But I damn well intend to keep you close. I’ll feed you every night. Sharon is staying with me anyway. And I want you to know that is NOT a ploy to get us together. I love the girl. The only thing I am hesitant about is letting Darren live under the same roof with us. Not right now. I am close to going there, there. He and Rachael are gonna have to work around all of us if they want to have sex.” Karen giggled. “Tell me, do you jerk off thinking about me?” she asked quickly. I could not control the automatic blush. “Great!’ she said before I could reply. “And when the time is right, I will make ALL those fantasies come true. Whatever they are. I gayruntee!” she added with her dazzling smile.

Karen left to go back to work, leaving me with a hard on. I barely kept from jerking off right then thinking about what she said. I went to a nearby bar to contemplate. At least in a bar I could not pull out my cock and masturbate. In all honesty, if there was another woman I would like to be married to, it would be Karen. I knew her history. She had got pregnant early, barely out of high school. Her husband started cheating on her soon after. When she found out, she filed for divorce. She was vocal about saying the only two things she got out of her marriage of any value was Rachael and an education to be a paralegal. Some four or five years after they divorced, the guy got killed in a traffic accident. Drugs and alcohol were involved. Rachael told us one time, she had no recollection of her father. I felt sorry for the girl at first and then she became family. She was Sharon’s best friend so she had a place to stay anytime she wanted. We shared our home with the girl. That had of course included her mother. Surprisingly, Sheila never said a word about a beauty like Karen being almost an adjunct to our family. Did she trust me that much or was she playing a game?

I had a sudden thought. Had Sheila been cheating on me back then? Should I do a DNA test for paternity of my kids? No, I knew that would not matter. I was their Dad. Besides we share enough similarities physically they had to be mine. But then the next thought. I had approached the idea a few times we should have more kids. Sheila always said she never wanted more. Damn! Was she having affairs and did not want to take a risk on getting knocked up by some strange male? Have I been duped for years?

She was always very loving. She never denied me anything in the bedroom and we had an active sex life. Anal was something neither of us was interested in trying. I always envisioned pulling out of her ass and her shitting on the bed. That was just gross. But now I wondered if she had anal sex with any of her previous lovers if there were any. Was my whole marriage a sham? I could not squelch that thought.

“Hey are you alright, buddy?” the bartender asked, breaking me out of my reverie. I nodded. “Let me guess. Problems at home. Maybe a cheating wife. Customers this time of day usually have that same problem.” He looked pointedly around the bar at the other patrons, mostly solitary, sipping their drinks. I nodded again. “I’ll tell you the same thing I tell all the others and believe me there are many of you in the same boat. Try to sit back and think about where you WANT to be rather than where you are. Don’t worry about the cost in terms of money. Think about the cost in terms of your happiness and your self respect. You need to take care of your own well being before you can take care of anybody else.”

I laughed and asked, “How is a bartender such a psychologist?” His answer surprised me.

“I went through it myself.” the bartender said. “Oh I paid big money to a shrink and a marriage counselor who both tried to convince me to accept what my bitch of a wife did and still wanted to do. I said fuck that. I divorced the bitch and moved away. I always thought I’d like to tend bar. So here I am. Take my advice or don’t.” I finished my beer, stood and paid my fifteen dollar tab dropping an extra twenty on the bar. I nodded to the guy and walked out the door.

I was a mess mentally when I got to Karen’s house. She had taken off early in case I wanted to meet up before the kids got home. They were still out. Karen had obviously started drinking. She had a beer in her hand. She was not drunk, but had a running start. I got a beer for myself. “The kids made sure they interrupted Sheila again if she had an encounter planned.” Karen giggled. “Then they went out.”

She realized immediately I was not in a good frame of mind and asked me what was going on. I told her my thoughts. All my imaginations while I sat at the bar thinking about my life, my marriage.

“Both those kids are yours. I see you in Darren when I look at him.” Karen said. “The same with Sharon.”

‘What about the rest?” I asked. I was not sure if I wanted reassurance or validation for my concerns. I got neither.

“Who knows?” Karen said. “A week ago I would have said Sheila was a loyal wife. She told me many times over the years how much she loved you and how happy she was to be with you. Now I have to wonder. I will tell you one thing she said to me a few years ago. Well, I guess not too long before the Covid lockdown. Now I need to preface this by saying we always talked about personal stuff. No secrets, well a few.

One day she asked me if I ever experimented with another girl. We were drinking at the time but I remember it like it was this afternoon. I told her no. She said something about she had not either but might consider it under the right conditions and how it might be fun to try. I wonder now if she more serious than she let on and was trying to get my reaction. I laughed and told her I might also.”

“Yeah?” I asked. I knew I should not go there but I did. “What other wild fantasies have you entertained?”

“Asshole!” Karen declared, then smirked. “I am not gonna lie. I have a VERY active imagination. I have imagined myself in many situations. Lesbian, anal, threesomes, domination play, even gang bangs. Some things got me hot and some made me cringe, but I thought about everything I ever heard about that was sexual. Not that I acted on any of it.”

“Will you tell me what turned you on the most?” I asked as I sipped my beer. “Your favorite wild fantasy.” I’d had enough alcohol my inhibitions were flattened. It was obvious Karen was well past that point.

“Fuck no!” Karen said instantly, giggling. Then she caught herself. “I will tell you the one thing that prevailed. In reality, I could only have sex with one guy, the right guy. He could use me any way he wanted but I would not share him with another woman or me with another man. I’m not into sharing. Well, I might share my guy with another woman,” Karen giggled. “I never tried anal sex, but I have pushed toys up my butt. I read a lot of stories online. Judging from them I am pretty vanilla, at least in person. My fantasies are a LOT more uninhibited.” I smiled but did not want to break her mood by reacting. Then she got quiet, thinking.

“So you still have never had sex with another woman?” I asked, prompting her.

“No but I fantasized about it.” Karen answered, blushing. “Actually I have pictured myself in bed with you and Sheila. I developed a whole story about that. Please don’t ask!”

I realized she was both reluctant to reveal her secret fantasies and at the same time wanted to expose them. She just needed a little push. “Tell me!” I ordered. Karen shuddered. I could tell she was aroused, Why she had suppressed her desires this long was a still a puzzle. She never let on. “I’ve had a couple.” Karen admitted. “One of my main ones start with you and I fucking. I don’t know how that came about but we are. Sheila comes into your bedroom and catches us in the act. She obviously knew what we were doing and was ready. She demands I lick her pussy if I am going to fuck her husband and climbs up on my face. She sits there pinching and twisting my nipples while I eat her to orgasm after orgasm. You finish up and Sheila makes me suck your cock clean. She spanks me and has me agree to serve both of you whenever you demand. You will both use me as your whore. Well I guess the term is slut. FUCK! This is embarrassing!”

I was almost as excited hearing this as she was telling it. I knew I could bend her over the table right then and fuck her. I certainly wanted to but I was not about to actually do it. “Wow! That is surprising. I have to tell you I am barely keeping from taking you right here.” I blurted before I could censor my mouth. My brain to mouth filter was gone.

“And I’d let you if you ordered me.” she said, her eyes glistening. I could see her pupils were dilated with arousal.

“Were you more aroused fantasizing about submitting to Sheila? Or the fucking?” I asked.

Karen giggled nervously. “Both. Of course it did not make sense that I’d just give up and submit like that, but in my fantasy I have no choice. Sheila started making demands and then you jumped on board and both of you would use me whenever you wanted. I never would act on it it real life.” Karen blushed harder. “Well, to be truthful I came close to telling Sheila that fantasy when she asked me if I’d been with another girl. I was curious if she was fishing or just talking shit. I was scared how she’d take it. She might get pissed thinking I wanted you. Or she might have ordered me to stand up and strip and take advantage of the situation. Or she might laugh at me. I’d be so humiliated if she ridiculed me.” I asked her what she would have done if Sheila had pushed her.

“I don’t know. I might have been too chicken to take the plunge. But I’ll tell you I got myself off so many times that night imagining she did I was sore the next morning.” Karen said smiling. “I really ramped up the scene beyond the original with imagining all kinds of nasty stuff she did to me and of course you getting in on the act. My submitting to her was the price of having you.” She took a few gulps of her beer. “Do you think I’m a pervert?” she asked shyly.

“No, just kinky.” I replied. I tried hard to keep from chuckling. “Now I AM enough of a pervert to imagine me ordering you to go over and confess your fantasy to Sheila.” I thought she was going to choke.

“You wouldn’t really do that would you?” she gasped. “I will do anything you ask of me but please don’t make me do that.” she added in a small voice.

“I wouldn’t do it now knowing what Sheila has been up to. I want nothing to do with her.” I said and Karen relaxed. “But I’ll tell you this. If you had told me this fantasy a week or so ago before everything turned to shit, I’d have ordered you to do exactly that.” Karen shuddered. I wondered if she had a slight orgasm. She smiled and said she would have done it too.

Our discussion was interrupted by the kids coming in. Karen turned from slut to mom mode and asked Rachael to turn the oven on to cook the casserole she had prepared. I asked the kids what they did to mess with Sheila. Karen had hinted at it earlier.

“Oh we just went over to the house a little before noon. I parked my car in the drive. We were peaking out the window but we were careful to not be seen. Mom pulled up into the driveway and sat there for a minute behind my car. The guy pulled up right behind her. Then they drove away. I checked a little while later to see where they went. They went to that little restaurant down the street from her office again.” Sharon said. “We almost thought she’d come inside to see what we were doing but she didn’t. I’m guessing she did not have time to think of an excuse for coming home in the middle of the day. We left Darren over here just in case.”

I told them Sheila would be served the next afternoon at work. I wanted to let her coworkers see it happen. I had no idea if anybody suspected she was having an affair but thought it likely. The rumor mill would definitely be churning by close of business. I told the kids I would call them as soon as it was about to happen. I wondered how long it would take Sheila to call us. I ‘suggested’ they answer when she did. “First one to get the call wins fifty dollars.” I said to cheers and laughter from Sharon and Rachael.

“No fair!” Darren declared, laughing. “Sharon is gonna get called first. We are still supposed to be at the lake.” Everybody laughed. I told them I’d revise that to be if both of them get called before I do all three of them get a fifty. “Are you going to be here at the time so we can listen to what she says?”

“Nope.” I said. “I have the information I need to tell the asshole’s wife what he has been doing. I’ll be at her job. Turns out she works at a clothing store in the mall. She has two kids, a boy and a girl in middle school. She might be at home since the kids should be on break. I’ll check in the morning.” Sharon wanted to know what store. I told her Claire’s Boutique. Both Sharon and Rachael squealed.

“We go in there all the time!” Sharon said. “I bought some of my cutest tops in there.” Rachael agreed.

I revised my plans for the next morning when Darren said they had one more opportunity to mess with Sheila before the ‘big reveal’ as he called it. They were going to interrupt her nooner again. I said I wanted to be there and watch and asked what they had in mind. Sharon shook her head. “You’ll see tomorrow. I’m still working on my script.”

Sharon and I were sitting across the street behind my neighbor’s fence at eleven forty five. We practiced with our phones zooming in and out to focus on our garage door. At that distance I had to rest the phone on the fence to keep it from shaking. Darren and Rachael had dropped us off and now waited parked in Sharon’s car around the corner in the opposite direction from Sheila’s normal route. Sure enough, right at noon Sheila drove up. We watched as the garage door opened and she pulled inside. Seconds later the Audi arrived. I watched the man get out and walk inside. The door closed.

Sharon hit an icon to call Darren. “The snakes are in the grass.” she said. “I’ll call when it goes down.”

I started laughing. ‘Snakes in the grass? Is that like the birds are home to roost?” She grinned and told me she liked snakes better, saying it fit their sneaking around. She looked at her watch for the time. They guessed seven minutes would be enough. They joked that the cheaters would probably not waste a bit of time since their last two rendezvous had been disrupted.

She nodded at me to begin filming. I turned my phone to video her make her call. “Hey, Mom!” Sharon began. “Rachael and I were thinking we could meet up with you for lunch. Maybe hit that sandwich shop down by your office. We don’t have anything for lunch here.” I could hear Sheila say she was sorry but she had already gone out for lunch and was about to eat. “Okay, no problem. We’ll just go with Plan B. I saw a frozen pizza in the freezer at home. We’ll just head over there and get it. Bye!” Sharon hung up without giving Sheila a chance to respond.

We both got our phones ready, focused across the street. Less than than two minutes later the garage door began to raise. As soon as we saw it begin to go up, we started to record. The door was up just far enough to get under when we saw the man run out. He was barefoot, carrying his shoes, his shirt unbuttoned. It looked like he had not even fastened his belt. He dropped one shoe as he scrambled to get his keys out of his pants pocket and unlock the door. I was doing my best to keep from cracking up and shake the phone. He backed down the drive and shot off down the street. I did not get a clear view of Sheila, but mere seconds later, she backed out of the garage and down the drive, following the Audi.

“I wonder if Mom grabbed her panties and pantihose.” Sharon giggled as we stood. “She was wearing a dress and she always wears hose. Maybe she stuffed them in her purse. I know she did not have time to get them on. I’ll bet she is carrying her bra too.” She called Darren. We were across the street and unlocking the front door to my house when he pulled up.

Sharon walked ahead of me straight to my (former) bedroom. The door had been closed. The covers were pulled back to the foot of the bed. Sharon giggled and picked up a pair of panties and boxer shorts. I noticed the panties were some of Sheila’s fanciest, sheer and scanty. “No hose. I guess Mom went back to work commando.” She showed her trophies to Darren and Rachael. She spread the undergarments very carefully on the bed. His on my side of the bed and Sheila’s where she sleeps. Then she went to where Sheila kept her makeup. “Do you want to do the honors?” she asked Darren. He shook his head.

When she began to write on the sheet, I exclaimed, “What are you doing?” Sharon did not reply.

“You said you had no use for the bed and bedding.” Darren answered. He pointed at what Sharon had written in Sheila’s red lipstick. “Slut” with an arrow pointed towards the panties. The word “Asshole” was under the boxers with an arrow. Sharon dropped the still uncapped and now ruined lipstick on the bed. We left.

Darren took my phone and sent all the video I had taken to his phone and I guess to the cloud. We drove back to Rachael and Karen’s house. This time I took my car and Darren drove his. For a brief moment, I wondered if I should leave my truck out in the open at Karen’s. I decided I might as well. Darren had other ideas. He said Sheila would be angry enough at Karen seeing both his and Sharon’s cars parked outside without seeing our truck. He was going to relocate the truck to the motel parking lot where we were staying. I went along with his decision. The kids had this planned.

One forty five that afternoon found me parking in front of Jason Turner’s home. His wife Lisa had taken the week off. I guessed she wanted to be home with her kids since they were on break. When I called the store to ask for her earlier they simply said she was on vacation but would take a message and have her call me. I wondered where her store got the name “Claire’s Boutique”.

A late model SUV sat in the drive. I guess Jason got the fancy car to drive while she got the ‘family’ vehicle. I walked to the door and rang the bell. A pretty woman answered the door quickly. She had brown hair, looked to be in her mid-thirties, slim and seemingly fit although that could be hidden under the casually fashionable clothes she was wearing. Her clothing was not what I would have expected to see on a woman on vacation. I identified myself and asked if she had a few minutes to talk. She was naturally on guard with a strange man on her doorstep. I saw her hand in her purse. “What about?” she asked politely.

I made a point to look at her purse. “Believe me. You will want to hear what I have to say.” I said. “Your husband works with my wife.” Her expression changed.

She took her hand out of her purse and said, “There is only one reason I can think of a man would come to my house to tell me our spouses work together. The son of a bitch has done it again. Maybe you better come inside.” She stepped back. I said we should not say anything where her kids could overhear. She shook her head. “I dropped them off at a friend’s house. They are going to have a sleepover tonight. I was just about to go to my store. The weekend is a busy time and this being Spring Break, the young people are out shopping.” I nodded and told her my daughter and her friend had said they had bought some of their nicer tops at her store. She offered a slight smile at the compliment.

She offered me something to drink which I refused. “I am guessing you have proof and not just suspicions?” she asked. I nodded and told her I had video proof. I gave her a quick rundown of the week’s events. She laughed when I told her about how Darren and Sharon were messing with their mother. “I’d like to meet them. Well, under other circumstances than this. They seem they have character and a sense of justice.” She asked why I waited until today to contact her. I told her my wife was due to be served about now and I expected a phone call soon after.

“You realized what was going on right away.” I offered. “I expected a different response.”

“We moved here because Jason had done the same thing in Baton Rouge about three years ago.” she told me. “Like an idiot, I gave him a second chance after we went to counseling. I had an eight year old and a nine year old and I wanted to do whatever I could to keep the family intact. Not disrupt their lives too much. He lost his job and relocating was the only option I gave him.” I asked about the name of the store and mentioned how quick she got it up and running. Sharon said it had been there for a few years. She smiled. “My sister and I formed the company when we graduated college. Her name is Claire. That ‘rings’ better than Lisa’s boutique. When we moved over here, it was simple for me to set up another store. Same vendors, and administrative stuff. We’ve expanded into Metairie already and were planning to open a store in Lake Charles later this year. The good thing is my soon to be ex cannot get a dime from my holdings. Not only did we set up our corporation before I got married, I have a pre-nup.”

My phone rang. I apologized to Lisa and answered. I put the call on speaker. “What the Hell?” Sheila exclaimed. “Divorce? Why?”

“You are really asking WHY?” I said. “I am amused, you are so clueless.” She kept up her pretense. “I have neither the time nor the inclination to talk with you. I suggest you get a lawyer and have him or her contact mine. I also suggest you start looking for a place to live. I plan to put the house on the market as soon as possible. That should be somewhere in the papers you received.” She began to sputter something about the kids and I cut her off. “I’ll make arrangements for the kids. IF they want to live at home, I will pay half the mortgage and utilities. You will be responsible for the rest. That’s in the papers you got too. I offered a few more options. Read them. I will be stopping by from time to time to get my things. I’ll try to time my trips when you are not home. But I will tell you right now, I better NOT find an Audi there anytime.” That got an audible gasp. I hung up.

“I am impressed.” Lisa said. “You really controlled the conversation.” I smiled wryly and said my ‘control’ is more imagined than real. I was barely getting started with the process. “Well, you are miles ahead of me. I never pursued divorce three years ago. Can you give me some advice? Like what you have done so far?” I nodded and pulled a business card for the lawyer I was using. I told her to call him first thing to retain him. Then I pulled the prepared sheet he had given me of things to do.

“This is mid-afternoon on a Friday. ” I said. “If I were you I would hit the banks before your husband can. Take half the balances from your checking and savings accounts. If you have investment accounts, I’d suggest you call to get your advisor to lock them. I am sure about now Sheila is in your husband’s office telling him the game is up. He will suspect I have either told you or will soon. Get to the bank before he can clear out the accounts. You’d get still your half later, but it might put you into a cash crunch in the meantime.”

Lisa looked at me and asked, “Why are you helping me? I mean other than just giving me the information my husband is a cheating bastard?”

“Simple.” I said. “I like to do what is right. At least I hope to do what is right. You need help right now. I was in your boat several days ago. I got help and advice from a few people. I am just passing that advice on.” I paused. “You said your kids are taken care of for the evening. Why don’t you plan to come for supper tonight? I know it will be hard, but it might help. Call me.” I gave her my number. I waited for her to call my lawyer to make sure he would represent her and not her husband if he should call. She was told representing her husband would be a conflict of interest as he was already representing me. I suggested once more she get her banking done immediately. I stood to leave.

“You knew I had a pistol didn’t you?” Lisa asked. I nodded and told her I packed on occasion also. Then I had a thought. I asked her if Jason carried. “No. He thinks his muscles are enough. I have always been afraid somebody might get the idea I carry money out of the store and attack me. We don’t. The mall has a secure service that picks up money from the stores and transports it to the banks for us.” I made my way to the door. “I’ll call you later Frank.”

Lisa did call later that afternoon. She said she appreciated the invitation but wanted to confront her husband this evening. She had plans to “rip him an new one.” I told her she seemed remarkably calm. I was impressed she’d have a plan already. It took me a few days to really come to grips with what was happening.

“I went through this three years ago.” Lisa said. “Don’t get me wrong. I bawled this afternoon after you left knowing my marriage is over. But I realized it was more about how my kids are gonna lose a resident daddy rather my loss of a husband. That might make me look like a heartless bitch, but fuck it.”

=========

This brings us back to the beginning of my story. Sheila’s call, well the one I had just accepted was a full week after she had been served. I got tired of putting her off. I knew we would have to talk. In a couple hours I would be going to my lonely motel apartment, quasi home. I had been eating at Karen’s every evening for supper. That was my agreement. Actually a promise. Karen knew I was a man of my word. She pointed out the small lies I had made, grinning and telling me I was a bad boy who deserved a spanking for them. She constantly made sexual hints, coyly. When the kids were not around, she kissed me passionately molding her body against me as she did. My resolve to not fuck her was in jeopardy.

Out of hearing of any of the kids, Karen confessed. “Sheila knows the kids are staying here.” Midweek Karen decided on her own to have Darren move into her third bedroom. I do not know what she said to him and the girls. None of them would tell me. Karen had taken charge and ruled the situation. She had obviously laid down some rules. I just went along with what I was told.

I told her Sheila wanted to meet in person. I was extremely leery. I suspected Sheila might try to record the conversation or make claims I threatened her. Karen shrugged. “So I go along as witness. You make the meeting conditional on that. She and I are friends.” My look of surprise amused her. “Look, I’ve known her as long as I’ve known you. I trust her. She has always been there for me. The fact I really want you now makes me feel slightly guilty. But that guilt is not enough for me to give you up. I did not get in the middle of your marriage so I don’t feel guilty about that. The fact she fucked around on you was a dumb-ass act on her part. I told her that when I saw her earlier but told her I was not going to have a big ass discussion at the time. At some point in the very near future, I plan to tell her she threw you away and I am going to take advantage. I don’t know when that will be, but I’ll know when the time is right.”

“I know you love her. That is why you are so hurt. You will always have some feelings for her. Sooner or later you need to talk to her. You will have to deal with her for Darren and Sharon’s stake if no other reason. They will eventually come around and forgive her. Plus we will have life events where Sheila will be included. I will do my best to include her.”

“Did you get an end of week report from your lawyer on how things are going from his perspective?” Karen asked. I told her Sheila has retained an attorney. The two lawyers talked about suing Sheila’s company for sexual harassment. Sheila is reluctant and wants to discuss things with me in private saying she will explain everything to me. That was relayed through my lawyer. It is one reason I am considering talking to her. I want to know why she refuses to sue.”

“Also, Lisa called me. You already know she kicked her husband out that first night. Jason, the asshole, still has his job but it is hanging on by a thread. The only reason he is still there is because he does a good job. He’s been told if Sheila sues, his ass is gone. He told Lisa all that. Macho man is on the ropes. He is begging and trying to be honest all of a sudden so he tells Lisa anything she asks. She told me she had a pre-nup to protect her business interests but she did not mention the post-nup they signed when he cheated on her three years ago. He will barely leave with his skivvies. That was the way Lisa said it, laughing. Then she told me that was almost literal. He’d get to take his clothes and personal toiletries. If she demanded it, he’d have to give her his wrist watch. But she has two impressionable boys to consider so she can’t be too vindictive. She is trying to think up rules. She said she put him through the ringer the first couple days, but did not elaborate.”

Karen laughed. “Damn! You have to wonder why he would even glance at another woman, let alone start an affair.” I shrugged. I honestly wondered the same thing myself. I wondered if Jason had been hiding money, but I was sure Lisa was way ahead of him on that too. It would be interesting to see how that worked out. Then I caught myself. My own business was paramount. This was NOT a novel or a movie I was watching for entertainment. This was my life. My future was at stake.

“I’ve made an executive decision.” Karen announced an hour later. “We are going to talk to Sheila in person. Call her now and tell her we will be at your house at eleven in the morning.” I told Karen I was not sure I was ready to see her. “That’s why I made the decision for you. To push you to get off your ass.”

I realized Karen had been running things for the past two weeks since everything turned to shit. With the exception of my being adamant that divorce was a certainty, Karen was the motivating factor behind the other decisions for all of us. I went along. Everything had worked for the best so far. I would have been lost without her. I followed her advice now as well and called my soon to be ex.

Sheila took me by surprise when she answered the door the next morning. It was Saturday so nobody had to work. She answered the door wearing a simple tee shirt and tight cotton shorts. The shorts were a size or two too small. I was sure they belonged to Sharon. Maybe some Sharon had quit wearing a year or two ago but had not thrown away. If the shorts were painted on they would have been looser. I wondered how she even got them on. Sheila breasts moved freely and her nipples poked out through the thin material. “Is that how you answer the door now?” I asked, taken slightly aback. She closed the front door behind us.

“I was told to make it obvious I had no place to hide a recording device.” Sheila said, as she blushed. When I asked her who told her that, she said, “My lawyer. She also said I was to answer EVERY question honestly and completely and to tell you everything.” Now I was more than puzzled. I had brought Karen along to make sure I had a witness to prove I said nothing to threaten Sheila. Yet Sheila seemed to be going out of her way to make that easy. “Karen, are you going to insist on being here or are you going to let me talk to Frank in private?” Her question was asked demurely, almost submissively. I caught onto that right away as did Karen.

“Nope. I’m going to sit right there the whole time.” Karen declared. “Just like Frank told you when I had him phone to arrange this meeting. I’ll be a witness for whatever is said.” Sheila just nodded and ushered us into the kitchen.

“My phone is on the counter. I turned it off.” Sheila said. “I can’t ask you to put yours over there. If you want to record our talk, go ahead. I am going to be as honest as I can, no matter what.” This was most certainly not the encounter nor the woman I expected. I asked her why she was acting this way, so out of her normal character. “The short answer is I fucked up. I know I made a huge mistake and ruined our marriage. I am going to try my best to at least preserve something of a relationship. I want that SO much. I NEED that.” She began to cry.

Sheila was not a good enough an actress she could cry on demand. She was honestly devastated. I looked over at Karen who wore a look of bewilderment. She knew Sheila well enough to be totally dazed seeing this woman in front of us. Karen and I had talked before coming over. We fully expected to find Sheila trying to give evading answers and random cliches, defiant and demanding to have her actions be seen as reasonable or at least totally forgivable. That was how we had prepared. Not for this woman in front of us.

“Would you like something to drink?” Sheila asked, wiping her tears. “I can make coffee or I have beer. I have not touched the hard liquor, Frank. That is there also.” I suggested a beer. Karen nodded. Sheila got three and sat at the table. “Okay, where do you want to begin?”

“First I want to know why you are acting like this.” I said. “This is not your normal self.” She repeated what she said earlier about doing whatever she could to salvage some kind of relationship with me.

‘Okay, let’s start with this. When did you start cheating on me?” I asked. “When did you and Jason start messing around.”

Her answer surprised me.”That is two different questions. Which do you want first?” I told her Jason. “About two months ago now. He was flirting with me at the office. I was flattered. When he said he wanted to fuck me, I was both surprised and aroused. I was primed and told him I would but with conditions. First it was to be sex only. No kissing. I might suck him a little to get him hard but not cum. And I wanted him to screw me only doggy style. Hard and fast. I wanted to be fucked, not make love. He was happy with that.” I looked at Karen amazed. She was obviously astounded.

“So you have been fucking him twice a week for two months?” I asked. I did not want to explain how I knew the twice a week part, but was now really interested in how she would answer.

Sheila shook her head. “No. We haven’t even talked in the past week. And the week you were gone we did not do anything. Before that we usually met once a week. We had blocked two days a week as possible days but often something at work would come up or I called it off at the last minute. We actually did not have sex that many times.”

“Not that many times but here in our marital bed. Was he too cheap to spring for a motel room?” I said this with a little more venom than i should have. Karen gave me a little kick under the table. She had advised to remain civil so we could get information. Conversation would shut down if I lost my temper.

“Jason had a friend who worked as day clerk for a motel. For thirty dollars we could have one of the un-occupied rooms for an hour or so. Then we’d leave and the maid would be sent in to clean. It was off the books. The clerk pocketed the money. We went once a week for two weeks in a row. But that got expensive. Then we skipped a week I think. For the last three weeks I brought him here. Well, one week, I was on my period, so we did not do anything. Can I ask how you caught us?” I told her I would tell her later. “Okay. I just wanted to know how much you knew already. Not that it makes any difference. I will tell you everything. I just can’t remember every time. I did not keep track.”

I looked at Karen for her reaction. She sat there, wide-eyed as if not believing Sheila’s honesty. I found it a little hard to believe Sheila did not remember every time. Was it that unmemorable? Sheila saw the look and asked, “Are you two having an affair, now? Not that it matters either.” Karen answered honestly that she has never touched me in any way that Sheila had not seen in the past.

“You told me I asked two questions.” I said. “You cheated on me before Jason, right?” Sheila nodded, Now she turned beet-root red. I asked the obvious questions. “When, who?”

“About a year and a half ago. The who was Rebecca. You know her. We used to work in the same office.” Of course I knew the woman. Sheila had worked not exactly under her but their jobs crossed paths frequently in the course of the business day. Rebecca held a higher position. “She and I were friends.” Sheila said as explanation. “We talked all the time. One day I told her I had never been with a woman but I had always wondered what it was like. I knew she was gay. I had read a bunch of stories online. One thing lead to the next and we started having sex.”

I had not honestly expected this. I had suspected Sheila had been fucking around on me with other men. I asked her if she had. She immediately denied ever touching another man than me except Jason since we began dating seriously.

Karen cut in. “I remember you asking me a few years ago if I ever experimented with another girl. I had not. You said you hadn’t either. Then you acted like it was all a joke. You didn’t seem really keen, just curious.”

“I lied about that part.” Sheila admitted. “I thought it was seriously kinky. I had an active sex life with Frank but this was different. There was a kinky element that made it thrilling. I hoped you were willing to give it a shot. You said you never had. You looked aroused by the idea though. I had the impression you might if I pushed but I was too scared to do that. Our families were too close for me to risk doing something too outrageous. If you think about it I hinted a couple other times too. But I was not as obvious as the time you mentioned. I thought it would be super wild for us to play and even bring Frank in for a threesome.”

Karen began to giggle and looking at me, stopped. I remembered what she had told me. I suspected her imagination had taken her far more into the scenario than she admitted to me. She looked at Sheila. “Well if you HAD pushed, things might have turned out far different.” she said cryptically. Sheila was now the one surprised and asked Karen what she meant. Karen shook her head and told her, “Maybe later. Well, yes I’ll tell you later. I promise”

“So you got involved in a lesbian relationship with Rebecca?” I asked. “Just like that?”

“Oh, no!” Sheila said. “I’d read some of your online reading history. You deleted it often but every now and then you left it. I figured you might not be upset if I had an affair with another woman. I told Rebecca that. She told me you had to give your full approval before she and I would do a thing beyond just being friends.”

“You never told me a word of this.” I said quietly. “Nothing about wanting to play around with a woman. Have you had that desire to experiment all along?”

“No. I just thought playing with a woman was super erotic.” Sheila offered in explanation. ” I lied to Rebecca and told her you were on board. She seemed to like the idea, saying she would teach me but I had to follow all her rules. She would own my sex life when I was away from you. She would have total control of when and if we played. And of course what we did. I could call a halt at any time, though. You were my husband and she would not do anything to interfere with our marriage. She said her wife Alyssa would have to be involved. I agreed.”

“How did you get away with having an affair with Rebecca without anybody being the wiser?” I asked. “You never got home late or went out at night by yourself.”

Sheila sheepishly admitted, “Covid hit right about then. People were supposed to stay at home. You began to work from home. The kids had virtual classes. It was too much like a weekend for me to stay home too. Always something I needed to do around the house. The company offered anybody willing to go in to the office an increase in pay as a bonus. You agreed. I pretty much was the only person there. The other three women plus Rebecca stayed home.” I nodded.

“Well, since I was the one at the office, I also had the task to take hard copies of files to the others. That was in addition to my regular duties. Plus there was no need for me to get dressed up or even wear makeup. For my coworkers, I just stopped and dropped off files and picked up others without even going inside. But that was only if the file was not online already. With Rebecca it took on a whole different thing.”

“As soon as I walked into her house, I had to strip naked. It became part of our play. I was her submissive slut. She totally controlled if I was Sheila, company worker or Submissive Sheila, lesbian play toy.” Sheila said quietly, staring at her beer bottle and not at me nor Karen. “Some days I’d stand there bare ass as we went over work. Then she’d tell me to get dressed and go back to work.” She was blushing as she made this admission.

“What kinds of things did you do?” Karen asked abruptly.

“Whatever I was told. Mostly it was oral, you know- licking pussy, but other stuff too.” Sheila said. “I had an itch I needed to scratch. You were my first choice but you were not interested in the slightest. I really had envisioned you, me and Frank playing, doing kinky stuff. I knew you did not have any sex life with guys. You made that clear. I hoped you were at least bi curious. Maybe even secretly lesbian. But you told me you never had.”

Karen began to laugh and caught herself. “So because I did not pick up on your hints you started a lesbian affair with your boss.”

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like it was your fault!” Sheila said suddenly.

“So you had a full blown lesbian relationship for all this time? Or did you end it before you took up with Turner?” I asked. “You’ve all been back in the office for a while.”

“It never stopped completely.” Sheila said, turning red. “Well, it slowed down a few times, especially when we were busy at work. Becky, I mean Rebecca got promoted to vice president and I got promoted to her old job.” I quickly made a snide comment about how she licked her way to a promotion. Sheila bristled, “No! I worked my ass off! But I do admit there were times I’d go to her office and be ordered to get on my knees and lick her pussy. And if I confessed to have messed up at all, even at home, I’d be punished. Like a spanking. Sometimes other things.”