Turning twenty-one next week and still a virgin, is it really that sad? Not a kiss-less virgin at least, but I’m not sure if a drunken kiss with some random girl a few years ago at a random party goaded on by the crowd counts. Almost everyone kissed everyone that night, most more than once, but just the once for me. She was really short and average looking…it was pretty messy and quick, not a good kiss in my opinion, not how I hoped a kiss would be.
It’s not like I couldn’t get any, I’m sure I could get some. I just don’t go out and try enough. I don’t try at all actually. A computer with an internet connection, saliva, some tissues, and my hand is all I need.
I’m moving into a place of my own in seven days, but it’s more like I’m being kicked out. Well, sort of. The place I’m moving into is one my parents’ properties that they rent out. The agreement is that I pay half the normal rent and my own living expenses. It’s to teach me responsibility and get me working more than twice a week. Flipping burgers at the local hamburger joint on weekends and having the entire week to laze around was pretty sweet. They know that won’t pay enough if I want to continue living comfortably with this new arrangement, though.
I haven’t spoken to anyone from high school in over three years and never went to college so the only friendships I have are fleeting online ones. Online computer games, various internet forums, television shows, movies, porn; there’s a lot of stuff you can waste your time on if you have the time to do so.
That sums me up, I guess. Maybe I fit the mould of a basement dwelling loser, but I don’t think that’s what I seem like on the exterior…
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Twenty-one already and my birthday gift is a pleasant kick in the bum into a new life it seems. I’m still working at the local burger joint and haven’t worked out what I’m going to do for money. I have enough saved up to last me about a month and a half and on top of that I need to get simple things such as plates, knives, glasses, a microwave, a sofa and other useless shit that I couldn’t be bothered buying. Oh shit, and internet too. I download a lot of stuff. They at least gave me the bed I’ve slept in all my years and I have my TV, computer, and gaming consoles. My wardrobe is pathetic now that I come to think of it, a few old loose shirts and an assortment of sweat pants, pyjamas and my work clothes.
‘Well, that about does it,’ says Dad as he closes the boot of the family station wagon. We had just finished moving all my stuff into my new house, him doing most of the work with carrying in the bed, work desk, TV and the old fridge we had in the garage. I’m not the most athletic of twenty one year olds and don’t take after my father in the muscle department very well. The gym and I don’t mix and as far as sports go I only ever played a bit of soccer on weekends when I was younger.
‘Yeah, thanks for the help. See ya, Dad.’
‘Don’t let your mother down.’
Just like him to leave that hanging as the last words spoken as he drives off.
With seven suburbs between my new home and my old one, and without a license or car, I don’t think I’ll be visiting or seeing my parents and siblings very often, unless they see me at work. Fuck, work will take me three different buses to get to now that I think of it.
‘Hey there, what’s up? It’s about time someone moved in to this place.’
The voice came from behind me as I made for the door. I spin around and see a stranger. He looks youthful, but is definitely older than me.
‘Hi, umm. Nothing much. Who are you?’ I laugh a little. He is now half way up the pathway from the front gate to the doorstep where I stand.
‘Just a friendly neighbour, but not your neighbour for long I’m afraid. See that house over there across the street.’ He gestures and I look. ‘Yeah, that’s where I live, umm, lived. Just broke up with the girlfriend a few days ago you see and I need a new place pronto.’
I quickly realise what he is getting at, ‘so you think living across the road from her is a good idea?’
‘Look, buddy, I’ve lived here for two years now, it’s close to the shops and my mates live close by. The bitch’s parents bought her the house and I’ve got one more day to pick up my things and leave before she starts burning shit.’
I snicker, ‘Hah, what have you done to get her so mad?’
‘C’mon, bro, you know how temperamental chicks can be. I was the one who ended it and she thinks it’s because something is going on with me and one of her friends. Thing is, I’m just sick of putting up with her bullshit and need a change in my life.’
‘Yeah, I know what you mean.’ I actually don’t, my interactions with women are very rare, but I don’t want him to know that. It all seems perfect now, I can split the rent with this guy, which is already only half thanks to the generosity of my parents, meaning that I don’t have to pay anything. So long as they don’t find out.
‘So, you got space for a roommate?’ he asks.
‘You know what, I do. This will take some pressure off me financially and you seem nice enough.’
‘Sick. My name’s Bradley, but you can call me Brad, what’s yours?’
‘I’m Craig. Good to meet you Brad. Some birthday this has turned out to be, not only moving in to a new place but now I have a new roommate. Hah.’
‘Nice! Happy birthday, man. How old are you turning and what’ve you got on tonight?’
‘Twenty one, nothing planned I’m afraid. Been too busy moving in and still gotta set up inside. Gonna be tired as fuck.’ I had to come up with something and that wasn’t really a lie anyway. Truth is I have no friends to spend my birthday with. I don’t want this guy to think I’m some loser already.
‘No fucking way. You gotta do something for your twenty first, dude. I’m gonna take you out for some drinks and I’ll help with the house tomorrow. First thing first, help me carry some of my stuff over.’
‘Yeah, ok, sure.’ I quickly reply with a shrug of the shoulders.
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I was three drinks in and already feeling it pretty heavy. He slapped me on the back and called me a lightweight and laughed. This was my first time at a bar and felt way out of my comfort zone. What I would give to just be back home, watching an episode of family guy or playing some call of duty.
‘Watch and learn,’ Brad whispers into my ear as he gets up off his stool and approaches a cute blonde girl in a tight red skirt with a glass of wine in her hand. He is very cool and calm about it and exudes confidence. I can’t hear what they are saying, but I can see her smiling instantly. They move from the bar and start dancing. I feel lost now and order another drink.
‘Hey, Craig. What are you doing, bro? It’s been like half an hour and all you’ve done is just sit there sipping away at that beer like a girl.’ Yeah, whatever, beer actually tastes like crap to me so I secretly don’t care what he says.
‘I don’t know. I’m happy here at the bar listening to the music.’
‘Fuck that. Talk to some ladies. It’s your birthday, you gotta live it up a little!’
It was easy for him to say. He is taller, older, has cool facial hair, is more muscular, and is well dressed and groomed. He is some mix of Puerto Rican and European which makes for dynamite aesthetics. How could I compare to that? I’m just your average white guy.
Thankfully the night ended early after that blonde’s boyfriend showed up. I say thankfully, but that only really applies to me. Brad was pretty pissed off about it. I didn’t want a confrontation and talked him into backing down and coming back home. It was my birthday after all and he respected my wishes.
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I avoided going out after that. I’m just too lazy and enjoy the confines of the indoors. It’s easy and comfortable. I always declined when Brad asked if I want to come out and do something. He figured me out after a few weeks and didn’t really talk to me much from then on.
I lied about how much the rent was so he ended up covering my half of the internet and bills too. He’s too trusting and didn’t bother to ask for any papers and gave me the cash. This allowed me to quit my job flipping burgers on the weekends and when questions were asked about where I got the money for my half from I lied again and said I have some money saved up from winning fifty thousand dollars off a scratchy ticket. Lucky me!
It was an adjustment, but it worked out for the better. Brad didn’t really like me and thought I was a loser, but he didn’t bother me as he was pleased with the set up he had here too. I was cool with his drug use and his friends coming over every now and then. No more work and best of all, no more annoying parents and siblings to nag or bother me! Shit was cash.
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Good things never last is something I’ve heard people say. The lies came back to bite me in the ass when my parents decided to come around for a visit three months later. Brad was home and they were going to be here any minute. I was all out of ideas.
‘Brad, I have something to tell you. This is actually my parents’ house and they pay half the rent. If they find out about the set up we have going here they will kick me out, and that will include you too. I didn’t win any money on a scratch ticket. I’ll have nowhere to go. Please forgive the lie and leave before they get here.’
He glared at me. ‘What the fuck, Craig. You slimy piece of shit! What the fucking fuck?’
I mouthed the word please without speaking.
‘Ok, I’ll disappear for now, but we’ll talk about this later.’
He didn’t look too impressed.
With all of Brad’s possessions filling out the house it looked like I was doing pretty well for myself and passed it off to my parents as all my own stuff. I made up a lie that I was working some office job, we had dinner and they said they were proud of me. Cringe.
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The next day came too soon. Brad came bursting through the front door in a white singlet and black gym shorts. He was sweating from a hardcore session at the gym and his body was full of testosterone. I explained to him all the lies and how he was paying more than he needed to for rent so I could cover my half of the bills.
‘Here is what is going to happen you pussy ass virgin fuck,’ he said with detest.
I interjected, ‘Hey, I’m not a virg-‘
‘Get fucked you’re not a virgin, I may have fallen for your lies, but I ain’t that fucking stupid. You are one soft ass virgin.’ I blushed with embarrassment.
‘And here is how you are going to make it up to me and how we’ll move forward. Sit the fuck down.’ He pushed me on to the sofa. I looked at him stunned with confusion as he reached for his shorts.
He pulled out a half erect, half soft cocoa brown cock. It was already much bigger than mine when at full mast.
‘Craig, suck my cock.’
I looked up at him in disbelief, not saying a word. I couldn’t help darting my eyes back down to his cock every few seconds. My face went even redder as he noticed me looking and smiled.
‘No need to say anything. I followed your parents home last night so I know where they live. I got your little balls in the palm of my hand. I need some form of payment and I know you are broke as fuck, so get sucking!’
I backed away, this situation was fucked. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it. His cock moved by itself, pointing a little further upwards towards me. It was getting bigger. Brad moved closer. I could now feel the heat of his body. ‘Craig, no one will know. It’s just a piece of skin. You wouldn’t make a big deal of sucking a finger, would you? I’ve got needs and you have a problem.’
He was right. It was either suck his cock or get kicked out on to the streets and work. A quick suck on an appendage until he was happy and it would be over. This is completely rational. It’s the easier option. I always take the easy option. It’s what I do…
I slowly focused my gaze on to his cock and moved my hand towards it. I could feel his eyes staring down on me heavily. ‘That’s the way,’ he says, encouraging me. I grip the thick of it. It’s incredibly warm, soft and hard all at the same time. It grows ever so slightly – I gasp – he chuckles. I retain my grip as his body moves to the chuckle. I zero in on the beast with my face. I’m trembling and can hear my own heart beat. I’m so nervous I could cry. I close my eyes and make the softest of whimpers. With great hesitation and care my lips part and I ease it into my mouth.
‘Watch the teeth, amateur. God, you’re such a virgin.’
I stick my tongue out a bit further and make my mouth wider in order to please him. I’ve never even had my dick sucked before and he can tell. He is right with what he says about me being a virgin, but it still stings all the same. I just wish he wasn’t so mean spirited about it.
His left hand grips the side of my head and helps guide me further into this new experience. New waves of shock and embarrassment wash over me again and again. Torrents of emotions gush through my very being. This now counts as the most intimate and sexual experience of my life and it involves my mouth and a buff man’s cock.
Disbelief, shame, regret. I feel weak and helpless.
I have to release more saliva from my body on to his in order to lubricate his growing cock.
More emotions… strange ones… pride, a sense of achievement, as it gets harder in my mouth. Why do I feel this way? I hope to God he didn’t see me smile for that short moment.
I now have his fully erect penis in my mouth. I can’t reach his cropped pubic hair with my nose and don’t intend to – alas, he tries to make that happen just as I think of it. Both hands are now wrapped around my skull. They feel strong and huge and push me in closer. I moan out a pathetic sound in protest.
‘C’mon, Craig, you’re doing so well.’
I’m doing well? Those strange emotions again. Why? His words bring out the best effort I can muster. I fight with the size. I suck in a deep breath through my nose as gasping for air through my mouth is useless at this point. He smells like the very essence of man; sweat and shorts and gym. Hairs tickle my nostrils and my throat has a visitor; a big meaty, throbbing visitor. He releases his hands and I jerk back and take in a deep gasp of air through my mouth. After the oxygen fills my lungs and the blood streams to my brain I immediately dive back in, welcoming his penis within the warm and moist embrace of my mouth once again. I don’t know what is happening. There’s no going back, is there?
‘Mmmhhng,’ Brad deeply moaned, ‘you’re such a FUCKING faggot. Look at this, you’re totally sucking my cock.’
I didn’t even stop. I could feel the heat of the skin on my face as it flushed in embarassment. I heard the words he said. They cut through me like a searing hot blade fresh from the furnace. I did not stop. I continued sliding up and down on his turgid pulsating penis, knowing and fully realising what he was saying. I did not even stop.
‘You nasty little bitch, are you actually enjoying this?’
My mouth remained wrapped around it as I tilted my head and eyes upwards to his face. His eyes pierced through mine like daggers in the wind, reaching deep into my soul. His smile was sickening and gut-wrenching, it was as if he had his hand tightly gripped around my heart. My body started to shake. I looked away and continued working the shaft. My eyes began to fill with a few tears as he began to chuckle with satisfaction.
I can feel my cock twitch. A stirring in my loins is taking place and I don’t think I’m ready for this. I feel violated and all my senses betray me.
Things begin to get messy. I can hear loud suction noises coming from the interactions of my mouth and Brad’s mighty tool. A mixture of fluids are dripping from the sides of my lips. I’m not sure if I was trying to take on too much too fast, or if it was Brad’s doing, as his cock pops out of its new home. I immediately shove it back into my mouth without thinking.
‘You truly are a bona fide sissy virgin faggot. I don’t think you have even made out with a girl, have you?’
He is right, I haven’t even properly made out with a girl before, yet here I am making love to his cock. I remain sheepish and silent. I tremble.
‘Lick my balls,’ he commands.
I obey. My arms feel weak now and I lift his penis up with some effort to access his large hanging sack with my tongue. One of his balls pops into my mouth. It rolls around inside my mouth as my tongue twirls and swirls around it. It feels so delicate and vulnerable, yet powerful all at once. I make room for the other ball to slide into my mouth. This is the source of Bradly’s manhood, this is where his sperm live, this is where his children will come from… and it’s in my mouth! The wrinkly sensation of his sack gently fills the walls of my mouth and I’m overwhelmed by the musky scent and salty taste of it all.
He grabs my arm and flings it away, making me lose grip of his penis. It slaps down on my face and I say goodbye to the balls in my mouth, returning to the main player, licking it underneath, eventually reaching the head and pay great attention to it. It swells and my cock responds in kind, standing up at attention, pushing against my underwear. My dick is actually hard over this. I feel so lost and trapped. It feels stupidly small too. Here I am giving my mouth to a much larger and stronger man, pleasuring him, and my own cock, which pales in comparison to his, is dripping with pre cum, soaking my underwear. I squirm. I feel so… inferior.
‘Uuhhng, you’re going to love this. I want you to open up and finish the job,’ Brad grunted.
I locked my lips around the bell end. Up, down, up, down. Release more saliva. He now took control. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down he went with his hips and cock with greater speed. My tongue encased his powerful member and I tried to hold on as the movements became wild and sporadic. I could feel the build up in the length of his penis, the rush of blood to the tip. He was about to cum.
‘Take it. Taste it. Taste my seed, you sly little bitch. I’m cummiiingghhe-‘
A hot splash at the back of my throat as the fluid exploded from Brad’s body. Cum streamed onto my taste buds as it ricocheted off the walls in my mouth. His cock popped out and continued spitting all over my face, covering my hair, my forehead, my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, my chin in white strips of liquid, only to return back into my mouth where the rest was deposited. I kept him in my mouth until the last squeeze and it began to soften, milking every last drop. I always thought cum is bitter, but this was oh so sweet and filled me with an indescribable warmth. Slippery too; it slid around on my tongue.
‘Swallow it.’
I was already gulping it down before he could finish the sentence. He laughed a cruel laugh that made me shudder. He moved two large fingers to my hair and wiped some off and fed it to me. I sucked his fingers hard, feeling the bone. He had to jerk his hand away.
‘Now that was a good headjob. Clean yourself up and don’t waste any.’
And as quick as that his shorts were sliding back up, unfairly hiding his cock away from me and stepped away. I knew what he meant about not wasting any, but he left me alone, kneeling on the couch, my face and mouth wet, messy and ravaged from the ordeal. He had left the room now and wasn’t even looking. I could just wash it off in the sink and he wouldn’t know. Yet I gathered his sweet seed ever so carefully with my fingers. I licked it up and cleaned it off my fingers. I savoured it, not wasting a morsel just as he wanted.
I’m so confused. I felt used, I felt empty, and I felt alone. For some reason I wanted him to be here with me as I curled up into a ball on the sofa and lay there – wondering, waiting for what would happen next…