Cernunnos’ Lesson

My legs hurt, I was hot and I swear there’s a pebble in my shoe that hides every time I take it off to check and yet I was here. I climbed deeper and deeper into the wooded area searching for the perfect spot. The spot with the wildest shrubbery, preferably, was blooming with life. There was where I’d make my offering to Cernnunos. I was a fairly new Wiccan, but I fell into it easily, as if it had been a part of me all along. This was my first offering, and the first time I’ve ever tried to contact a pagan deity. I doubted he’d even respond in the ways I’ve heard.

***

Stories abounded amongst the neo-pagans I hung out with at Florida State. They said, depending on the god or goddess, there would be signs of their approval of the offering; like fireflies from the goddess Oya or the sweetest smell of honey from the goddess Oshun. I mostly studied the goddesses. Coming from a Christian background where the single deity was male I found it so much more interesting that I can in turn worship someone in my own image, a woman.

It was one day, out with Alyssa, the only other black pagan I knew; that she told me that Cernnunos was my patron. She noticed how the natural world sort of swayed and bend when I walked past. I, at the time, did not notice these things but Alyssa assured me that I would become more sensitive to nature the more I study and the more I worshiped.

It was now more than ever I needed the comfort of my patron god. Shannon was my first love, or at least I thought he was. He used me, in the worst way. He made me fall in love with him, or maybe that was my fault but I’d fallen hard for him. He had dark crystal eyes and the warmest cinnamon skin, and his smile was so charming. But I was nothing but a piece of ass to him. He felt the need to put me in my place at a house party when he was grinding with another girl. He drunkenly slurred that I was just a great lay and nothing more. He said it so loud everyone gawked. He laughed at my humiliation. He made me feel like nothing. There was so much pain for so long. I felt as if no one could ever be who I thought they were I started to withdraw from my friends, from my studies, from life.

One night after crying to Alyssa she said that maybe contact with my patron god would give me some semblance of peace. It felt strange to even entertain the idea. Ridiculous to me but it wasn’t any different than praying in a temple or meditating in a studio. It was worth a shot. I wasn’t sure what to expect, this was all so new to me. Alyssa helped me. She wrote down a list of things I had to procure for an offering, she taught me a prayer to Cernunnos, and wrote a general to do and not to do list. I was as prepared as I would ever be.

***

I’d been walking for maybe two hours when I realized I was lost. I tried not to panic; this was a first for me. I never got lost in wooded areas, they felt so much like home but here I felt lost. Then just up ahead I saw it, the perfect place. It was as if it had been waiting for me. Natural vines strung a group of oaks together around a small clearing, the sun streamed through the branches illuminating it; even its earthy smell was crisp and new. I settled in to begin my offering.

Let me re-iterate, I had no clue what I was doing. I was totally convinced that this was a learning experience. Never would I have imagined that… Well, I’m getting ahead of myself. I laid out my linen scarf in the middle of the sanctuary I picked out. I sat down and began to create an altar. I laid out the rabbit skin I bought at last year’s Renaissance Fair, on it I laid a freshly picked apple and peach, I pulled out a bottle of warm Guinness ( he was Celtic after all) and popped it open, and lastly a candle made from animal fat that I got from a mystics shop in town. I sat back and admired my work. It was nothing to the magnitude of what I’ve seen Alyssa do but it looked right and so I was proud of it. I lit the candle and pulled out the prayer that Alyssa wrote up for me.

“I raise my hands in Prayer to Cernunnos,” I began “To him I pray, to the Antlered God. To he who holds opposites apart To he who brings opposites together I raise my voice in honor and longing, Calling Cernunnos, The Antlered God,”

I put down the paper, having the prayer well in heart, and rested my hands on my knees palm up. I closed my eyes and lifted my head toward the canopied trees above. I remembered the pain of being used, and forgotten. I recalled how helpless and stupid I felt. I thought of how it felt to feel like nothing. I channeled that energy as I imagined it flowing from my body to mingle with the energy of the forest, as I continued.

“Hear me, Cernunnos, See my hands extended. See my pain and my weakness, my fear. I am the lame deer in the forest, The faltering lamb at the edge of the herd,”

I felt a sudden whoosh of what I could only describe as energy, like a tingling ripple through my body. I quickly opened my eyes to only find the peaceful blue sky between the green branches. With renewed belief in what I was doing I closed my eyes to finish the prayer.

“Generous One, Grant me clarity and balance. Remind me of the unending truth of my strength. Wolves may come, and slavering foxes: I am them too. Let me know my own face.”

This time no whoosh or energy rather a slow thrum through me. It started at my head and slowly began to encompass me. I sighed to myself. This was my sign. The air became thick and it was as if I could feel all the life of the forest but I wasn’t scared. I was excited. Maybe I was too excited, suddenly I was flushed with heat and my nipples tightened painfully. I opened my eyes to shake the feeling. I was supposed to feel reverent, not frisky.

When I did that I saw him. Seriously, I saw him. I was convinced I was hallucinating. What was in that candle? I simply stared….

He, Cernunnos, or at least the being I was seeing, sat on the other side of the alter I had created, his body in a position that mimicked my own. His legs crossed in front of him, his hands palm up on his knees and his head heavenward. His head slowly focused on me, his fierce hazel eyes were almond shaped and serpentine. They gazed back at me, taking the breath from my lungs. I stared…

He was a big man with tan skin and broad shoulders. He was truly the Antlered God for he had the antlers of a stag with intricate Celtic knots carved into them, the base of which disappeared into a thick mane of wavy chocolate brown hair. His hair travelled the length of his naked body. His face was angular and his lips thin, he smiled at me. His facial hair, though short was rather wild. Around his neck was a golden torque that glinted in the streams of sun and perched around his wide shoulders was thick long snake. It wrapped around one of his arms and hissed. In awe, I stared…

Cernunnos upper arms were banded with gold and marked with Celtic knots. Light brown hair dusted his chest and traveled south to where his erection confidently pointed northward, the tip laying against his belly button. I could do nothing but stare….

“Do you truly believe that I exist here with you, or must I allow you to gaze upon me a bit longer?” His voice was deep and rumbled through the forest.

“I…you c-…You’re here in the flesh.” I stammered causing his smile to grow wider. How he regarded me made the hair stand up all over my body. I racked my brain for any reading ever mentioning that a god or goddess has ever shown in the flesh. I couldn’t come up with one.

“You did summon me, did you not?” With his every word the forest around us seemed to respond. The greenery swayed, wind whistled through the trees the flowers turned its faces toward us. I could see it all. I was sensitive to it, I realized.

“Yes, but-but I never would have imagined that…”

“Yet, here I am now, precious one.” He said leaning closer. The movement caused the snake about his arm to coil and hiss, he struck out and I squealed falling backwards.

Cernunnos laughed good-naturedly, “Do not worry, precious one. You’re safe with me.”

He put the snake to the ground and I watched with scared fascination as it curled into itself next to the Celtic deity. Cernunnos pushed to his feet with an amused smile. For such a large man he was lithe. He offered his hand and pulled me to me feet. I floated in a state of fear, disbelief and awe as I touched him and a surge of energy pulsed through me. I moaned loudly. I was taken aback by the feeling; I’d never imagined it would be erotic in nature.

“Why do you not feel worthy of my presence?” He asked not letting go of my hand. His beautiful energy continued to pulse through me, I could barely think, only feel.

I pulled my hand from his, “I-I don’t know what to say? This is my first time ever doing anything like this. Why wouldn’t you go to anyone else? There are probably thousands of others invoking you’re name as we speak and-and you’re here with me?”

He gave me an inquisitive look before reaching out and slowly stroked my cheek. He touched me as if he was curious about the feel of my skin. I nuzzled into his touch; his strong energy pulsed through me. He stepped closer, he smelled wonderfully of the earth, spicy and male. We were barely a whisper apart and he towered over me. His hands dove into the thick mass of my curly hair and gently tugged it, pulling my gaze up to him.

“Do you understand who you are?” He asked softly,

“I’ve been calling to you since you were old enough to venture into the woods alone.”

His gaze alone was enough to send me into a sweet paralysis as I lost myself in it. “Who am I?” I asked barely over a whisper.

“You are a daughter of Oshun,” He responded with an amused smile. His fierce eyes searched my face then traveled down my body.

“So many bindings,” He said mostly to himself. He grabbed the hem of the white tee shirt I wore, ripped it down the middle and pulled it down my shoulders in one swift motion.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking as I backed out of his reach. I backed up so far my back hit a tree.

His brow furrowed at my reaction, “I’ve frightened you.”

I stood before him in nothing but a bra and maxi skirt, my tattered shirt still hung from one arm. It occurred to me that I was in the middle of a wooded area with a huge guy who can easily over power me, out run me, and happen to be sporting the biggest erection my twenty three years have ever seen. He just ripped my shirt off of me for goodness sake. What if it was Shannon’s stupid football friends playing a trick on me. They couldn’t have though, they weren’t smart enough or cared to do this much research for a damn prank. Then who was he?

“You doubt me again.” He said. He slowly approached me and held out his hand. “I’ve promised to never harm you. You will always be safe in these or any forest. This I swear.”

He once again was a whisper away. He bent down to my eye level and placed my hand on his nape. The familiar surge of energy returned. “You may see for yourself.”

His gaze never left mine. Trailing my fingertips over his scalp, I felt where scalp gave way to thick antlers. I jerked back when I felt it. He was legit, a real Celtic deity, in front of me.

He laughed to himself, “I thought you’d know so much more when this day came.” His hand came back to stroke my cheek. I basked in his touch, nuzzling his hand like a content kitten.

“What was I supposed to know?” I asked. My eyes closed of their own accord as I sank deeper into the feel of him.

“You were to know that you were a daughter of Oshun, the beautiful Yoruban goddess. Her blood runs through you, so incredibly faint but undeniably there.”

“I thought you were my patron god.” I replied.

“Oh no, precious one, I merely call to you.” His fingers traced my jaw and settled beneath my chin. He pulled my face upward to gaze at him. “You smell of her, of honey. She’s in your beautiful oaken skin. She twinkles in your eyes; she even causes you to revel in pleasure despite your fear.”

His lips descended on mine, sending the world reeling around. Me the energy pulsing through me was so intense I melted against him. His kisses were wild and his tongue dominated my mouth. My body vibrated from it.

“Christine,” He growled into my mouth as he pressed his body into me. The bark of the tree pressed deliciously into my back as one of his thick legs pressed between mine, his erection caught between our bodies. Some conscious part of me wanted to beg for him to stop while another wanted him to push farther. He grabbed a handful of my skirt and slowly dragged it up my leg whilst his lips nibbled down my neck. It wasn’t long before his fingertips dragged along my inner thigh and I shuddered against him.

“Christine, I want you to understand that my intention is to take all of you, to revel in your beautiful body. I will not force you but I will try my hardest to gain your compliance. It is the hunt in me after all.” He ended on an amused laugh, pinning me with a hazel gaze.

Something unexpected happened, all the pain from before came rushing back. I could see Shannon’s face as he said those hurtful things, I can see him laughing. I gave him something so precious and he took it before humiliating me. My eyes flooded but I nodded to Cernunnos. Who was I to deny a god? No one. Nothing.

“You object.” He stated rather than asked. I was beginning to notice that he didn’t asked many questions.

“I….” Fat, warm drops of tears fell onto my cheeks but I continued past the lump in my throat, “I don’t want to be used anymore, I don’t want to be shamed, and I don’t want to hurt…anymore.” He stroked my face again, wiping away my tears,

“Precious one, I will not hurt you.”

“You said that already,” I said filling with anger and frustration. I yanked his hand from my face and pushed against his chest. It was like trying to push a tree, he didn’t budge.

“I didn’t come here to be sexed up in the woods like some freshman in a horror movie; I came here for clarity, for peace. But you’re just like them. You’re going to fuck me and leave. You’re not even my patron god!” I tried again, unsuccessfully to push away from him.

In a swift motion he had pinned both my wrists above my head with one hand while the other gripped my face and held it up to gaze into his eyes. “One thing I will not allow you to do is insult me!” He didn’t shout but he was fierce, “I know exactly why you are here and if you were more experienced you’d understand what I am here to teach you.”

I felt the panic begin to rise within me but he kept my face trained on him. “Why do you think he was able to hurt you? Why do you think many will be able to if you continue? You don’t truly understand your power!”

I wanted to laugh, I have no power, especially now. I felt the most powerless I’ve ever felt in my life. I squirmed and only succeeded to hurt myself. “What exactly is my power?”

“People, spirits, and beings they will come into your life and some will give and some will take but you have the power to decide. You decide how much they take and certainly how much they give.”

“So now you’re going to fuck the understanding into me, is that it?” I said. I couldn’t help myself. I felt cornered and I lash out when I do.

He looked as if he could slap the shit out of me but then his features suddenly changed back into that amused grin. “Of course you’d respond like this, you are Oshun’s child. To explain my actions, every sexual experience you have ever had ended with disappointment, and regret but I am here to show you something different. With me, give what you will and take what you must. It’s a balance you must learn and I your teacher. It’s a balance that occurs throughout the forests throughout nature.”

It took a while for me to absorb all that he was trying to tell me but as I did I felt lighter, my soul freer. I even relaxed against Cernunnos restraining body. “If I’m going to give what I will, shouldn’t I be free?”

He let go of me taking a step back. His grip left my wrists and jaw sore.”Precious one, what will you give?” He asked leveling a heated gaze on me.

I was suddenly put on the spot and felt awkward. I knew sex was the goal and if I truly had no inhibitions nothing would stop me from jumping his godly bones this minute but something held me back. “I give….”

I stood for moment thinking before I decided. I reached behind me and unhooked my bra, letting the black frilly thing fall to the ground. At the thought of standing topless in front of him my body flooded with heat and arousal, my nipples puckered. Next was my pink maxi skirt. I slid it past my hips and down my legs to pool to at my feet. Last to go was my panties, the classic black briefs. He growled deep in his chest, a sound of desire, one that pooled heat between my legs.

“You gave, and now you will take,” He said walking toward me, his steps slow and measured. Like a war drum my heart began to beat resoundingly. His hands were the first thing to touch me, sending waves of pure lustful energy threw me. They settled on my shoulders and followed the curve of my neck, down my chest to brush against my nipples. I moaned loudly and his hands retreated. I was breathless. He leaned down to devour my lips and his thumbs found my nipples again. Pure unaltered pleasure thrummed through me.

His kisses traveled down my neck to my breast. He laved at each of my small brown nipples making me tremble. His kisses traveled lower toward my belly his tongue dipped into my belly button. My pussy flooded in anticipation. Instinctively my hands caressed his head to be reminded of the antlers that sat atop his head. The realization made the experience even more surreal. He traveled lower nuzzling the shirred hair of my mound. Swiftly, he hefted one of my thighs over his shoulder. I quickly gripped his antlers for stability, then realized what I’d done and felt a pang of embarrassment. Cernunnos merely laughed into the folds of my heat.

His tongue found my pearl, expertly and I sharply gasped. His tongue traced lovely circles, it teased and satisfied. He drew my clit into his mouth to suckle on it and my eyes rolled to the back my head. It wasn’t long before I was shuddering violently from the strongest orgasm I could have ever imagined. If I was honest with myself I would say that I’ve never felt a true mind blowing orgasm and even more I’ve never with another person. Cernunnos slowly withdrew from me, rising from his knees while I slowly sank to mine in a heap of satiety.

His amused grin was there, “Shall you give or will you take again.” My body was a sensitive heap I couldn’t ‘take’ anymore if I wanted to and I did so want to.

“Give,” I muttered looking up at the deity. “I’ll give,”

Positioning myself on my heels before him, I placed my hands on his thigh lightly dragging my nails upward. He hissed his approval and I continued. I placed the head of his cock on my tongue savoring his heat in my mouth. I suckled his head for a time until I felt his cock jump, then I pressed him further into my mouth. Slowly, I pushed to my limit trying to avoid the embarrassing choke. I withdrew and pressed forward wrapping my tongue around the shaft. I picked up speed until heard him growl his pleasure. I pulled him out of my mouth to lave the underside of his massive cock. I wrapped my hand around it pumping it as I paid homage to his testicles, hanging heavily and proudly.

“Christine,” He growled my name. Swiftly he reached down and pulled me to my feet. “Now, you take.” He pressed my back to the oak behind me and pulled my knee up his hip.

“No,” I said barely over a whisper, “Now, I give,” I guided his cock to my opening. He pushed into me slowly, stretching me impossibly. He leaned his forehead on mine his antlers surrounding us both. I groaned in pleasure-pain.

“Precious one,” he said before kissing me tenderly.