Cruising Altitude

Author’s note:

This story is a spinoff for my upcoming collaboration with the amazing AwkwardMD. Our story has the working title “Grumpy Old Ladies”, and it may or may not be called that. Stay tuned! It will be fantastic!

This is also my Summer Lovin’ 2021 entry, so please vote. All comments are always very much appreciated.

 

—#—#—#—#—#—

“This stupid… fucking… thing!”

Bella threw the offending slips of fabric on the bed, herself on the other bed, and started sobbing. She didn’t know if it was more from humiliation, self loathing or embarrassment over her failure to do even this simple thing right; who leaves for a tropical cruise without checking if their swimwear fits?

Lena sighed and Bella could hear her moving in the room. Not room, Bella corrected herself. Cabin. This wasn’t a hotel, this was a boat, designed to take couples on honeymoons and encourage lazy loving by nights and worshipping the sun by days.

“Why did we come here?” Bella wailed and punched her pillow. “What are we doing on this boat?”

“Ship,” said Lena, her tone annoyingly even. She sat beside Bella on the bed.

“Ship, boat, whatever, what even is the difference?”

Lena sighed again. “You know why. To get your mind off things.”

Things being Bella’s husband and his secretary, fifteen years his junior, and recently his new love interest.

“And because the stupid cruise was non-refundable! I know! But I want to get off! This isn’t working! We should’ve let Eli and The Bitch come after all!”

“Want to go by the boutique section and see if they have a bikini for you?”

“They don’t! No one manufactures swimwear to accommodate these stupid… stupid… udders!”

“Hey, you. Your boobs are fantastic, and you’ve fed…”

“Easy for you to say!!!”

“There is that nudist deck—”

Bella shrieked and punched the pillow again. Lena let out another sigh, deeper this time. After a moment of silence, she got up from the bed.

“I’ll get us something to snack on while we contemplate our options,” Lena said. “Okay? I’ll be right back.”

Bella mumbled something inconclusive. After the door closed behind Lena, she sat up reluctantly and looked for her underwear. She cast a hateful glance at her bikini. She hadn’t worn it in a few years, and apparently it had shrunk by at least one cup size since then, if not two.

She was ashamed of her childish tantrum. Then again, Lena had heard her tirades over her voluptuous shape many times over the years. They had been friends for a long, long time, and knew each other’s secrets and sore spots.

Bella put her bra back on. The term “lingerie” didn’t apply to her underwear. “Lingerie” was flimsy and lightweight. Her udder holster, on the other hand, was industrial strength and practical equipment.

She had been curvy and prone to plumpness her whole life, and after having the twins she had gained an extra twenty pounds, most of which, she felt, went straight to her tits. She was now ridiculously top heavy, and even when her hips and bum held a part of that weight, she didn’t feel it was enough to balance out her figure.

Of all her friends, Lena represented the body type she would’ve preferred to be: tall and slim, delicately curvy, the kind who looked good in every single piece of clothing she ever put on. Now in their forties, Lena’s boobs sagged slightly if she went without a bra, but even then they sat higher than Bella’s.

Bella stood, facing the mirror, and stretched her back, turning sideways and then back.

Maybe it was just that she was so short. It wasn’t difficult for one’s boobs to stretch to their navel when the distance was nonexistent.

By the time Lena came back with a fruit basket and well chilled champagne, Bella had her summer dress back on and was sitting on the minuscule balcony of their cabin. This was supposed to be her and Eli’s twenty years anniversary cruise, and she had opted for more luxury than normally.

Her temper flared again when she remembered how that bitch, Brenda, had helped her with the planning. “Eli will love this!” the devious trump had declared more than once. No doubt she had planned on being the one he would love it with. Well, at least Bella had ruined that plan by holding on to the tickets, even when Eli had exposed his new relationship conveniently in time to ruin the travel plans.

—#—#—#—#—#—

Bella couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing at the wide eyed shock on the young woman’s face, shattering the stunned silence hovering about their dinner table.

They were assigned to specific tables for the duration of the cruise, and her and Lena’s table company consisted of Sue and David, a young couple on their honeymoon. They were stupidly in love, and probably could not imagine life twenty years in their future, certainly not one including adultery. They had talked about their dream wedding, which had taken place just prior to the cruise, and how this was to be the beginning of their wonderful life together.

Then they had asked if Bella and Lena were a couple and how long they’d been together. Bella had said no… and then recounted the whole story. Lena laughed with her, and they leaned against each other, breathless and wiping away the tears.

“That won’t happen to you, don’t worry,” Lena consoled the young couple. They shared a look that said it hadn’t even occurred to them it ever could. “Just keep on the same side of the struggle. It’s so easy to get lost in the grind.”

Sue nodded slowly. To Lena, she said, “You’re such a good friend to accompany Bella at this difficult time.”

“Yes, it’s such a burden,” Lena said, grinning, and made a show of pressing a palm to her chest and wiping imaginary sweat away from her forehead.

Bella laughed and punched her arm. “Yeah, right, because attending a free luxury cruise is a massive sacrifice!”

The thought stayed with her, though. A few hours later, Bella and Lena sat on the upper deck, enjoying the velvety tropical night. They were drinking cocktails and watching the other couples. Because all of them were couples. As far as Bella could tell, they were the only non-couple onboard. They had seen a fair amount of gay and lesbian couples, some very old and some much younger than them, but absolutely no groups of singles.

“I didn’t know it would be quite this couple-y,” Bella said, gesturing around the deck with her drink. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Why?”

“Well, I thought you maybe wanted to score on this cruise.”

Lena turned her large, dark eyes towards her friend and considered her for a long while.

“Because two weeks is such a long time without getting laid, I can’t spare to spend it cheering up my best friend?”

Bella shrugged. “Is that why you came? Because you consider me your best friend? What about Shirley or Becky?”

“Hey, Beez,” Lena said. Her voice was warm and serious. “I wanted to come. Nowhere I’d rather be than here with you, watching all these fine people smooching the night away. You’re my favorite grumpy old lady in the whole wide world.”

Bella lowered her gaze and blinked. Maybe she’d had a few too many, but Lena’s caring touched her, and the use of her old nickname hit her straight in the feels. That, and their childhood pact to always, always remain best friends, even when they were grumpy old ladies. She nodded, then nodded again.

“Besides,” Lena said, “how active do you think my love life is?”

“More active than mine! For a while I thought Eli was developing erectile dysfunction. I had no idea he was just draining his balls into that young cunt.”

Lena snorted and finished her drink. “So what are we doing tomorrow? Hangover day?”

“Yeah, why not? We’ll just be sailing.”

“Cruising.”

“Whatever. I’ll get the next round.”

The gesture was purely habitual; the drinks were free. Or rather, Bella mused when she teetered a little getting up from her lounge chair, they were included in the price of the cruise, because this sure as hell wasn’t free. Her only consolation was that it was Eli’s money, and it would be that much less for him to spend on his new bimbo.

—#—#—#—#—#—

Bella groaned. She had her sunglasses on, but even the interior lights in the restaurant felt too bright. Lena set out a cup of coffee in front of her, with ample cream like she wanted it, and smiled when Bella attacked it greedily.

“I might have overdone the preparation for this hangover day,” Bella said.

“I feel you. We’re not getting any younger, are we?”

“Oh look, the youngsters are up.”

Sue and David sat at the table, smiling shyly. They looked smug and glowing, a combination that made Bella’s heart twitch. There had been a time she’d been that happy with Eli, when they had attended hotel breakfasts looking that laid. She picked up the coffee to hide her frown.

Sue leaned forward, looking flustered. “Hey, listen. I wanted to say that I’m sorry we mistook you for a couple. We didn’t mean to suggest anything. We only assumed because this is such a couple’s cruise.”

“Oh, no offense taken,” Lena said. “Besides, I am lesbian. So, you were half right. Now, will you excuse me?”

Lena headed towards the lavish breakfast buffet. Bella leaned back, certain Lena would bring something back for her, likely something she would have picked herself. The young couple ordered their coffee from a waiter and Bella ordered more for herself and Lena.

Maybe more than half right, Bella thought to herself. She looked at Lena picking up this and that on her plate and remembered back to the years before her marriage. Shirley and Becky had been a part of the scene, and they all had really embraced partying and casual sex back then. But Bella had lived together with Lena for two years, as flat mates and best friends, and that had led to them celebrating hangover days in the way she had never done with her other friends. Bella had experimented with other women, just as Lena had with men. And on some long, slow, hangover-ridden mornings, they had experimented with each other.

Bella watched as Lena returned, gracefully twisting among tables. Her long, tanned legs and her summer dress looked stunning on her slim frame.

Lena set a plate in front of Bella: fruit, bacon, and a chocolate croissant. Exactly what Bella wanted. Lena smiled, dark eyes twinkling, obviously pleased with herself. And why wouldn’t she be? She knew Bella so well.

As they were finishing their breakfast, a cruise hostess approached with her bright smile and spotless uniform. She presented an assortment of options for following days’ activities at different ports and helped them open the corresponding page from the ship’s intranet on their phones. She said some options got fully booked, but that they did their best to accommodate everyone and arrange additional spots if the demand exceeded the supply.

Bella and Lena walked slowly across the sun decks, reading the list of activities.

“What’s this icon?”

They both squinted at the small screen. Besides some activities was a small, flower-like picture. Others had that combined with other small icons.

“There has to be a list of explanations… let me see… that one is ‘physically demanding’… and the flower… ‘gay friendly’.”

“Oh!”

They looked at each other, then around them. It hadn’t occurred to them that something like that needed to be specifically pointed out, but now they considered their route of small isolated islands, some of them known for their deeply religious inhabitants, with new eyes.

“Okay then,” Lena said, eyes twinkling. “Should we go for gay-friendly activities which aren’t physically demanding?”

“I’m in fair shape,” Bella exclaimed.

“You are, sure. But with that alcohol intake we better not risk it.”

Bella laughed, then flinched at the sting it caused in her head.

“Okay! You pick the activities. I’ll come along and be your arm candy.”

—#—#—#—#—#—

By late afternoon, both Lena and Bella longed to go for a swim. They had taken a nap, eaten lunch, and the afternoon would have been perfect for lazily tanning beside the pool if it wasn’t for the lack of bathing suit. The cabins were comfortable and air conditioned, but to stay inside felt foolish on such a perfect tropical day.

Bella looked up from her phone when Lena stood, puffed her chest in determination, and started to pack beach towels and sunscreen to a striped beach bag. Was she going to go ahead and leave her alone in the cabin? Their eyes met, but Lena didn’t say anything.

When the bag was packed, Lena came to stand in front of Bella, standing between her and the sun when she sat on the balcony chair with her phone. She extended her hand and eyed Bella with a challenge in her eyes.

“What? You’re blocking my sun.”

“Bella Lampanella!” Lena said in the sing-song rhyme that had always irritated Bella immensely. “My friend! I hereby dare you to follow me and do as I bid!”

Bella raised her eyebrows. “You wouldn’t!”

“I absolutely would!”

They regarded each other, then giggled. Bella took Lena’s hand and let her pull her to her feet. Bella had been a boisterous kid, always trying to keep up with her big brothers who were three and four years older than her. She had been pulled into many crazy stunts over the years on the premise of a dare. It had started as a way for the boys to show her her place, but she had never failed to follow through, and it had transformed into a tool for gaining their—and their friends’—grudging acceptance of her. And it earned her quite a reputation in school.

Lena knew this about her. In their youth, they had added a few unspoken rules to the concept of a dare. It was a tool to be used wisely, and once someone evoked a dare, whether it was completed or not, the object of the dare had the next call. It had been years since their last dare, since it was Lena’s turn, and she was such a reserved and controlled person she didn’t want to give out that power to her more reckless friend. Bella had all but forgotten the fun they used to have with it.

“Where are you taking me?” Bella asked.

Lena squeezed her hand. “You want it to be a surprise?”

Bella studied her friend’s face, simultaneously tempted and terrified. “Yes!”

She closed her eyes and let Lena walk her to the elevator on their deck. Inside, its movement felt stronger without her vision. She wondered about the bag. Where could they be heading? The spa? But didn’t masseurs have their own towels?

Lena walked her along a corridor, noting where there was a step or she needed to mind the rail. Eventually they emerged outside. Bella felt the sun on her skin and the gentle, tropical breeze in her hair.

Lena was doing something; Bella could hear shuffling and cloth-like sounds and bit her lip nervously. This couldn’t be the nudist deck could it? She wouldn’t do that to her!

Finally, after several lifetimes, Lena came to stand in front of her, touching her arm to let her know where she was. “Ready?”

Bella nodded. Lena touched her cheeks, and she jerked at the unexpected touch. Then she realized Lena was slipping sunglasses on her, guiding them behind her ears.

“Andddd… open your eyes!” Lena said.

Bella looked around. It was the nudist deck. Lena had reserved two sun loungers, spreading their beach towels on them. She smiled and gestured to the one that was on the more secluded spot, almost hidden behind a huge potted plant. Bella’s mouth formed an o and her eyes turned to follow two older gay guys passing by. Dear god, she’d never seen testicles swing so low! Or be so hairy!

She tore her gaze away and looked at Lena, who had an exaggerated innocent look on her face. She had Bella pinned, and she knew it. She couldn’t back away from a dare. She never had. Not even the ones that had terrified her. And this wasn’t terrifying, this was merely embarrassing.

“You want me to get naked in front of all these people?”

Lena nodded. “Just lie down. I’ll spread sunscreen on your back.”

Bella looked around. The nudist area was fenced off the rest of the ship’s deck by a woven reed wall. It had a small bar, a small swimming pool the shape of a kidney, and a few lounge chairs scattered around. Besides the gay couple, who were chatting with the bartender, there was perhaps ten other people present. Nobody seemed interested in her or Lena. One couple was making out in the pool, but others were sunbathing, reading, discussing or just sipping drinks.

“Nobody knows you here,” Lena said. “And even if they did, so what?”

Bella harrumphed. She had lost and she knew it. Briskly, she undressed, tossing her sundress, her industrial strength bra and panties in a pile next to their bag. Then she stood before her friend, flushed and defiant, staring into her big, dark eyes. She didn’t dare to look around to see if any of the others were looking at her. She felt the sun on her skin, all of her skin, and the breeze felt exquisite. She took a breath, trying to calm herself, and felt the sweat already forming under her saggy boobs.

Lena gestured towards the sun lounger, suntan lotion in one hand. “Lay on your tummy.”

Bella stretched out carefully, positioning her breasts so they wouldn’t press uncomfortably. She felt them spreading out from under her sides and blushed. The sunglasses, which were Lena’s and the larger-than-life cat lady type Bella herself never would’ve dared to buy, pressed uncomfortably. She took them off and closed her eyes instead, her cheek pressing against the soft towel under her. The sun felt so incredibly warm on her back. She tensed, in anticipation of cool sunscreen getting squirted on her sunbaked skin, but that never came. Lena warmed the lotion on her hands first, and when she touched Bella, she was deliberate and gentle.

Lena spread the lotion slowly and evenly, taking time to massage her friend’s shoulders while doing it. She went through each arm in turn, covering them all over while Bella stretched them obediently. Her back was next, and Lena even did the boobs spilling from beneath her. When Lena approached her wide ass, Bella started to say something but Lena shushed her and continued with the same slow, deliberate pace, massaging her ass cheeks firmly. Bella relaxed into her touch and listened to the shivers it ignited inside her.

It had been a long time since she’d been touched so slowly and patiently. Hers and Eli’s sex life had dwindled in recent years, and after the twins it had never really recovered. The birth was difficult, and despite doctors telling her everything seemed fine, she knew she had suffered damage of some kind. Everything still basically worked—she didn’t pee herself, and she could still orgasm—but her pussy just wasn’t the same. She didn’t care if it seemed fine. She knew it wasn’t the same.

Bella stirred from her pondering when Lena finished with her feet and moved away.

“Thanks honey, that was amazing,” she murmured into the towel. “Want me to do you now?”

“You just relax,” Lena said. “I’ll lie on my back first. I can do the front myself.”

Bella wondered idly if that was to keep her calm and relaxed, now that she didn’t have to remember she was naked or compare her body to Lena’s. She wasn’t sure Lena knew how much Bella admired and envied her body, though. They had had those conversations back when they were young, and Lena had said she envied Bella’s curves and feminine appearance, but that was long ago and Lena had definitely aged better than she had.

After an indeterminable time, Lena moved beside her. “Okay, time to turn over,” she said.

Bella stretched. “Yeah, have to bake evenly on both sides.”

She yawned and turned clumsily on her side. “God, I almost fell asleep.”

“Want me to do your front? Or will you do it yourself?”

“My… front? But…”

“I’ve seen your boobs before, you know. I have even touched them before.”

Bella turned on her back. “But…”

Lena sat on the edge of Bella’s sun lounger and waited. Bella looked at her eyes, then around the pool area—no one was paying them any attention—and then down along her own body. Her boobs had spread into her armpits and her tummy looked like a vast expanse of velvet-wrapped jello, striped by stretch marks. And her—

“Oh god, should I have trimmed my pubes?”

“Do you usually?” Lena asked. She had spread sunscreen on her hands and now she cupped both Bella’s cheeks, pressing her head back down on the recliner and starting to spread the lotion on her face carefully, like a cosmetologist.

“Well, no, but…”

“Then you shouldn’t have,” Lena said. “Your pubes are lovely.”

“I bet that bitch Brenda trims her pubes.”

“Mm-hm.” Lena soothed her forehead, spreading the lotion with sweeping movements from the front outwards. “Did Eli ever ask you to trim them?”

“Well he did that sometimes.”

“Then he got them just the way he wanted, didn’t he?”

“I guess.”

Lena stroked her nose, chin, neck. When she moved to her collarbones, Bella tensed. Lena stopped, her hands on her. They shared a long look. Bella sighed, relaxed and closed her eyes. Lena continued with her unhurried pace down her body.

“Eli is not here,” Lena said, rubbing her left boob with both hands. “And I like your pubes the way they are.”

Bella’s nipple reacted to Lena’s touch, and by the time she approached the center it was all scrunched up, pulling the areola to a wrinkled bunch. Lena didn’t slow down. She spread the sunscreen on it, thoroughly, holding Bella’s breast in place with her other hand, then tweaked the nipple gently. Bella sighed. Lena let her breast gently back down towards her armpit, and moved to the other one. When she moved lower to apply a huge amount of sunscreen on Bella’s soft and wobbly tummy, her nipples stayed hard.

Lena rubbed the lotion evenly, thoroughly, keeping the same unhurried pace. Bella tried to imagine how she looked, laying there like a beached whale, wobbling under her touch, her boobs spread for everyone to see. She moved her arms a little closer to her body, trying to herd them higher over her ribcage then gasped, forgetting her breasts when Lena approached her hips. She relaxed again when she moved downward to her wide thigh.

Lena went down one leg and up the other. When she got closer to Bella’s hip again, Bella realized her nipples were still hard. Her breath caught when Lena slid her hands up her upper thigh, the outer one massaging her wide hip and the inner one steadily approaching her pussy. “I… what…”

“Open up, love,” Lena said quietly, nudging her legs. Bella spread her legs a little and had a fleeting thought of how she was probably wet, and Lena would probably notice. Her touch had just felt so good and it had been so long.

Bella groaned softly when Lena pressed her thumbs on both sides of her labia and pressed. She almost moaned in disappointment when her hands moved away, only to hear more lotion being spurted out of the tube. Lena massaged it on both sides of her pussy, moving upwards, and when she pressed on Bella’s clit, she held her breath. Lena’s fingers were slippery with sunscreen, and she took her time to slowly glide upwards, then down on her hood. Bella whimpered.

“The thing about sunbathing nude,” Lena said and covered Bella’s aching pussy with her palm, “is that the sun will catch the places a swimsuit usually covers.”

Bella waited, but Lena didn’t continue. She still had her hand on Bella’s pussy, and didn’t remove it even when Bella opened her eyes and looked at her friend.

“You okay?” Lena asked. “How long has it been?”

Bella sighed. Lena removed her hand slowly, and dreamily they switched places, Lena laying on her front on her lounger and Bella sitting on the side of it with the sunscreen bottle in hand. It felt light and she wondered how many tubes they would go through in two weeks. She had a lot of acreage to cover, and Lena, while not as wide as her, was so tall her body needed nearly as much. She spurted a blob to her palm and rubbed her hands together, determined to touch Lena as nicely as she had done to her.

“Well, gee,” she said. “I think… maybe… five months?”

“Five months,” Lena repeated. “That was when he told you, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was. The pig. I mean, it had been like three months since the previous time, maybe four, and suddenly he was all touchy-feely. I think he just wanted one last sample. Then the next day he dropped the bomb, and that’s the last I’ll ever fuck him.”

Lena let out an encouraging murmur. Bella smoothed the lovely, peachy copper-brown skin on her shoulders and down her narrow back. Her lighter hands looked good on Lena’s golden skin. She rubbed the tan line on Lena’s hips absentmindedly with her palms and then reached for more lotion.

“So what about since then?” Lena asked, unphased, when Bella descended to her perfect, heart-shaped bum. Bella was mesmerized by the sight of Lena’s perfect ass as she rubbed and kneaded. She didn’t shake out of her trance before all the lotion in her hands was spent.

“Mmh?” Bella asked while reaching for the bottle and turning on her bum so she’d reach Lena’s legs. “Since then? You mean masturbating? Sure, sometimes, yeah, but you know… it’s so much effort I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it.”

“When was the last time?”

Bella rubbed the lotion on the cellulite at Lena’s thigh and sighed. “Well I don’t take notes,” she said. “Maybe… two months ago? I don’t know.”

“Two months! Girl, you must be starving.”

Bella was a little annoyed. She spread the remaining lotion on Lena’s shin briskly, then squeezed a wiggly line directly on her other leg. Sunscreen had warmed in the sun so that Lena didn’t flinch. Bella put the bottle down and got to work.

“It is what it is,” she said. “And so what? How often do you do it then, miss nosy?”

“Me? Every day. Or almost every day. Sometimes more than once a day.”

Bella’s hands stopped. She turned to look at Lena, but all that was visible of her was the messy bun her hair was in and one ear. A curve of cheek above. Lena didn’t continue, and Bella resumed the spreading.

“Huh. But… we’re here for two weeks.”

Lena giggled. “Well I can go without for two weeks! That wasn’t the point. I was just wondering.”

Bella finished with Lena’s other leg and playfully patted her bum before retreating back to her own lounger. She lay back slowly, looking down along her body, then deciding to ignore how she looked. She put Lena’s sunglasses back on and closed her eyes.

“Wondering what?”

“If it was me you were reacting to or if you’re just so horny.”

“Ssh!”

Bella raised her head and eyed the other people suspiciously. Nobody was nearby. The couple making out in the pool had left, presumably for more quiet quarters. Everyone else was pretty much as they had been.

“Keep your voice down!” she hissed and tried to relax again.

“Okay,” Lena whispered. Bella glared at her, certain she was smiling, but her head was turned the other way and she couldn’t be certain.

—#—#—#—#—#—

The following day, the ship pulled into a small port and they spent an enjoyable morning touring the town with a bunch of elderly couples. Their guide pointed out interesting sights, and was kind enough to take a few pictures of Bella and Lena on the market square. Later when they stopped for lunch in a small seaside restaurant, Bella browsed through the photos. She and Lena were both beaming, and while she looked like a potato compared to her stylish friend, she had to admit they looked good together.

The ship sailed at five, and they stood on the back deck, watching the small town drift away.

“Should we move there?” Lena asked. “It looked idyllic.”

Bella snorted. “You’d be bored out of your wits in two weeks.”

Lena turned to lean on the rail and looked at her. “So what should we do before dinner?”

Bella bit her lip, watching as seagulls screeched and dived in the ship’s wake. “We… could… go for the nude deck again?”

Lena looked at her and didn’t answer until she turned her eyes to hers. “What?”

Lena shrugged. “You liked that, huh? Sure, let’s go, we still have a few hours of sun.”

The chairs they’d occupied the previous time were taken. Bella was momentarily taken aback, staring at the younger lesbian couple laying on their fronts and chattering away. Lena took her by the arm and they surveyed the area together.

“What about there, by the pool?” Lena asked.

“That’s so… ”

“So close to everything? Hmm.”

“What about there? See? We could move those chairs closer to the corner.”

They settled down, eyeing the area from this new vantage point. There were even less people around after a day onshore. Lena removed her clothes with no hesitation, and Bella followed suit, feeling exhilarated and a little hyped.

“You want me to do you again?” Lena asked and gestured with the sunscreen.

Bella nodded enthusiastically and lay down on her back. Lena stood over her, rubbing the lotion between her hands, and smiled.

“Spread, spread,” she said and Bella spread her legs, letting them down on either side of the chair. Lena sat between them, practically in her lap, so close she could feel the heat from her crotch against hers. Bella blushed.

“I was thinking,” Lena said as she reached over to spread sunscreen on Bella’s face, forcing her eyes closed and pressing their bodies even closer together. “About the last time we were here.”

She paused, getting more lotion, and Bella shivered in anticipation. Lena was gentle with her neck, more firm with her shoulders, and she felt her nipples hardening even though she wasn’t anywhere near them yet.

“I was wondering if it was me that turned you on so much or if you’re just so deprived.”

Lena kept her voice low and continued towards Bella’s breasts. When she massaged the first one, finally grabbing a nipple between her fingers, Bella gasped and arched her back. The feelings were even more intense than before and she felt a jolt in her pussy. She fought to keep her breath under control.

“How long since you last were with a woman?” Lena asked, moving to massage her other breast.

Bella swallowed hard and tried to think. “That must have been… before Eli… it was… I think it was you. In, in, was it Shirley’s bachelorette? Yes?”

Lena pinched her nipple and Bella had to clamp her lips not to moan aloud.

“That was a long time ago,” Lena said, rolling Bella’s nipple between her fingers.

“We were so close back then,” Bella said huskily, squirming from Lena’s touch.

“We were,” Lena said. She let go of Bella’s boob and moved lower to coat her pudgy tummy. Bella tried to catch her breath, her nipples still so alight she felt the breeze on them acutely. She looked at Lena’s perfect breasts, how they swayed when she worked. She longed to touch them and wondered if Lena would let her do her front this time.

Lena moved back a little and gestured for Bella to lift one leg over hers. She spread the lotion evenly, looking at Bella’s eyes, then switched legs. Bella licked her lips, waiting, and gasped when Lena moved to massage her pussy, their eyes never parting.

“I don’t know if we can be that way again,” Lena said with a low voice and massaged her clit between her thumb and index finger. Bella was so aroused she was afraid she’d make a squelching noise. “But I do know you need to get laid.”

She moved back to her own chair and started to spread the lotion on herself with brisk, economical movements. Bella watched, disappointed, when Lena rubbed her breasts absentmindedly. She would have wanted to do that to her friend. She was sure Lena knew she would have wanted to do that.

“With you?” Bella asked with the same low voice.

Lena glanced at her and swiftly went through her legs and crotch, then stretched on her lounger.

“I have to think about that,” she said.

—#—#—#—#—#—

They had a pleasant dinner with the newlyweds, walked around the deck a few times enjoying the tropical night, and finally retreated to their cabin. Lena fell asleep quickly, but for Bella, sleep was slow in coming. She rolled in her bed, listening to her friend’s breathing, feeling flustered. She touched herself briefly, considering masturbating, but gone were the days when she could come so quietly and surreptitiously that Lena wouldn’t have noticed. And despite their conversation, she would have been embarrassed if Lena woke up and caught her doing it.

She remembered Lena’s touch with the sunscreen and wondered about the feelings it stirred inside her. She remembered the way they’d made love in their youth, and the memories made her breath catch. She remembered her few other experiences with women, and tried to differentiate whether she wanted a woman, or if she wanted Lena. That thought made her realize she did want Lena, that the question wasn’t if she wanted her but rather why she wanted her. That made her confused, and no matter how she tried to approach the question it didn’t solve itself.

She knew that small hours of the day were awful for any kind of soul searching, so she tried meditating instead. It didn’t go much better, and it was really late when she finally drifted off.

—#—#—#—#—#—

Bella didn’t wake until Lena shook her.

“Wakey, wakey, sleepy head,” she said and smiled.

Bella stretched and yawned. She blinked up at her friend, who sat at the edge of her bed, then yawned and stretched.

“I brought you coffee and croissants,” Lena said. “And a surprise.”

“A surprise?”

Bella stretched one more time, then reluctantly wedged herself into a sitting position and gratefully received the coffee cup Lena handed her. “How late is it?”

“Not yet lunchtime,” Lena said and Bella groaned. “Didn’t you sleep last night?”

“Not really, no,” Bella mumbled and sipped her coffee again. “What surprise?”

“Nuh uh,” Lena said. “You need to wake up first.”

Bella rolled her eyes and concentrated on her coffee.

“Oo chocolate croissants!” she exclaimed.

“That should wake you up.”

“Omm, yes,” Bella said, stuffing her face.

Lena laughed and got up to open the cabin curtains and let the sunshine in from the balcony. The weather was warm, sunny and cloudless, just like every day around those parts.

Bella licked her fingers and looked at how the light filtered through Lena’s skimpy summer dress, revealing the outline of her body. She crossed her arms and looked out to the sea. I’d like to paint that, Bella thought. I’d paint her in that exact position. Maybe as a fisherman’s wife. Or a mermaid.

There was only one cup of coffee, but it was a large one. Bella sighed happily as she finished it. “You spoil me.”

“I try my best.”

Bella smiled and went to the bathroom. She showered, brushed her teeth, and spent a few minutes considering her bush of a pubic hair. Visiting the nudist section had made her self-conscious about it, but she had no idea what to do with it. Maybe they would in the spa? But the idea of letting a stranger poke at her privates made her immensely uneasy.

She stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. “Say, Lena—”

“Perfect! It’s time for your surprise! Close your eyes!”

Bella complied, smiling widely, her question about pube trimming practices forgotten. She loved surprises. She flinched when Lena touched her, then let her unwrap the towel. She stood naked, waiting, wondering what this could be about.

Lena touched her foot. “Lift! … And the other one!”

Bella felt something gliding up her thighs. Lena took her time to position it. Underwear? Panties? Why on earth?

Bella flinched again when Lena grabbed her boobs, lifting them.

“No opening yet!” Lena warned.

Bella nodded and stood still. Lena threaded Bella’s hand through something with unaccustomed movements and then she started to mess with her boobs again. Bella realized she was putting a bra on her. Clearly Lena was not used to handling this amount of breast, but she didn’t give up and didn’t ask Bella for help. She positioned Bella’s boobs carefully, adjusting and nudging until she was finally satisfied. She probed the straps one more time.

“And… open!”

Bella opened her eyes. She was standing facing the full-length mirror. Lena was standing behind her, looking over her shoulder with an enthusiastic expression. Bella met her eyes in the mirror, then looked down at herself.

She was wearing a bikini. A new bikini. And it was nothing like her old, worn out, solid black one. This was bright, tropical pink, with a pattern of turquoise flowers and black leaves. She looked lower. The bottom piece had a strap of the same flowery fabric on the waistline, but the lower part was solid pink.

Bella touched her boobs tentatively. The top fit relatively well. Surprisingly well. Not perfectly, but her boobs fit in the cups and didn’t bulge over. But it was very boobsy. It pushed her boobs to the front and together, in a way her bra never did, in a way her old bikini certainly didn’t.

She turned sideways, lowering her hands. The suit made her look feminine in an exaggerated pin-up-girl way, especially from the side where one couldn’t see her nonexistent waist. She turned her back to the mirror, trying to see her vast, pink bum, but that brought her face to face with Lena. She turned her gaze to her friend when she accidentally bumped her with her boobs.

“What do you think?” Lena asked. She looked so exhilarated she was all but bouncing. “I think you look great!”

“You got me a bikini?” Bella was still baffled. She turned back towards the mirror, then turned her other side, then back to Lena. “But… how?”

“I asked the woman in the boutique if she could help. You were right, they didn’t carry your size, but they do have an excellent supply line to stock the ship for all kinds of luxury items, and…”

She trailed off at Bella’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe you got me a bikini.”

Lena looked down Bella’s body and her smile widened again. “It looks even better than I hoped it would!”

Bella examined her boobs again. They looked immense, and the amount of cleavage the bikini created on her was astonishing. “You chose this?”

“I did! They had that, and a solid black one, but I thought…” Lena slowed down when faced with Bella’s expression. “…that this was prettier and… we could go sample the water slides at the main pool area…”

“Yeah, right, of course,” Bella said, not very convincingly. “We should totally do that.”

Lena smiled uncertainly and Bella did her best to return it. They considered each other for a minute, and then Lena’s smile widened again.

“Right! Let’s go!” she said.

The main pool area had three water slides, two small pools with whirlpool functions and massaging waterfalls, and a small kiddie pool which was unoccupied. The waterslides also went mostly unused, though at irregular intervals some of the younger cruise patrons urged each other to take a plunge.

The wide sunbathing area was cluttered with sunloungers, and Bella felt a twinge of longing for the more intimate nudist area.

They reserved chairs and went for a dip in the main pool. Bella had always enjoyed swimming, and it didn’t take even one lap for her to forget about her plump body and ridiculously boobsy new bikini.

“Should we wait until after lunch for drinks?” Lena asked, eyeing towards the bar when they stretched on their chairs after a half an hour of happy splashing.

“Nah, it’s five o’clock somewhere,” Bella said. “Bring me one, too.”

Lena let out a giddy whoop and scurried to the bar. Bella wondered why her friend was so elated. Maybe because she had surprised her with the bikini. She looked at it again, then let her gaze sweep over the rest of the crowd and compared. A lot of women had very similar bathing suits. Even a lot of the men donned similar bright colors and patterns. The rest had more subdued attire, and many of the older women had the solid black ones she’d sported earlier, or even solid black one piece suits.

She couldn’t say what bothered her about the bikini. It was pretty, and it really did fit her. It made her look more… alive than the solid black one ever had. Come to think of it, her old suit looked like a set of normal underwear, just made from a different material. Left to her own devices, she would have chosen the black bikini. She didn’t know why this made her uneasy.

She arranged her face into a smile by the time Lena got back. The drinks had small umbrellas, lots of ice, and slices of lemon wedged onto the rim.

“We can have lunch by the pool!” Lena exclaimed. “I brought a menu of snacks we can pick from. Would that be okay? I wouldn’t want to get dressed just yet.”

“Sure, yes,” Bella said and sipped her drink.

“And there’s a bar that’s in the pool at the back! So if we want to drink and swim, we can!”

Bella smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm. It was contagious in a way. The fruity, fresh but potent drinks helped, and they ended up having a wonderful time at the pool. They even tried the water slides, shrieking and giggling wildly when they splashed into the pool. Like swimming, it brought up childhood memories, and the carefree and reckless mood with them.

They had been in the sun for too long, had a few too many drinks compared to their light lunch, and were considering having one more round.

“We shouldn’t,” said Bella.

“What if we don’t swim anymore? We won’t drown that way.”

“But I want to swim more.”

“How about… we go to that pool bar? Compromise! The curse of any functional relationship!” Lena exclaimed, pulling Bella onto her feet. She giggled, and they headed to the floating bar.

“I’ll surprise you,” Lena said. “Just find us a place.”

Bella eyed over the small pool. Water glittered in sunlight, and she spotted two benches, immersed in the water, at the far side of the pool. She waded over, marveling at how warm the water was against her skin. Her boobs looked a bit red despite their liberally applied sunscreen; swimming washed it off, and even when they had made the effort to keep her pasty skin covered, their newly exposed position had made the sun catch.

Lena waded towards her with a lottery-winning smile. Bella could tell her friend had done something she considered to be an excellent idea.

“Look! Look!” Lena shouted when she got closer. “Look! Isn’t it perfect?”

Bella squinted. Lena was towing something on a line behind her. When she got closer, Bella saw that it was two small floating rings shaped like unicorns. Each held a glass, lavishly garnished like all their drinks today with cherries, straws, tiny umbrellas, and colored ice cubes. Each had a palm-like decoration of glittery stripes on a stick, and Lena grabbed one and tickled Bella’s chin with it.

“You never guess what they are flavored with!”

Bella reached a hand, received a line, and pulled her drink closer. It was indeed cute. The small unicorn float looked bright and happy, the unicorn winking with a smile that looked positively stoned. It’s mane and tail were rainbow striped and the horn was golden. She didn’t take the drink in her hand, but rather bowed closer and tried to grasp the straw with only her lips. Lena giggled and mimicked her, and they both chased their drinks around a bit before managing to take a sip.

The flavor was subtle and fruity, distantly candy-like. Bella smacked her lips. “Um… fruit cocktail Hubba Bubba?”

Lena laughed and had to reach for her unicorn before it floated away. “No! You’ll never guess! You see”—she leaned closer and whispered—”it’s ‘unicorn kisses’! Really! They make a unicorn kisses flavored seltzer, and that’s used in the drink! They also have one that’s flavored ‘mermaid songs’! We have to try that next!”

“What! No way!” Bella tasted hers again. “Mmm. So that’s what unicorn kisses taste like! I’ve always wondered!”

“I know!”

“Why are we so excited over a seltzer!”

“I don’t know!”

They giggled so hard they nearly fell off their benches.

“Oh look! Your drink is escaping!” Lena laughed, pointing at Bella’s drifting drink. Bella made a horrified face and reached to pull it back, nearly spilling it.

Lena grabbed her around the waist to steady her. “We need to stop drinking.”

“Agreed,” Bella said. “But this is really good.”

“How could it not be? It’s unicorn flavored!”

They giggled again. “This is actually more of your drink, isn’t it,” Bella said. “You were the unicorn when we were young.”

“I was?”

“Well, we didn’t call it that back then. But that’s a woman that likes to accompany couples for sex. Like, heterosexual couples.”

“Yeah, yeah, right,” Lena said and poked her cherries with the straw. “That, that I did. What did we call it back then?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Bella said. “A threesome? A third wheel?”

Lena fished for a cherry and munched it thoughtfully. “Is it just me,” she asked, spitting the stone back into her drink, “or do you also think ‘unicorn’ sounds much better than ‘a third wheel’?”

“It does, yes it does,” Bella agreed. “We were young at the wrong time.”

“Nah, it was a good time,” Lena said. “No climate change for starters.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. You make me feel old.”

“Okay,” Lena agreed.

They sat quietly, sipping their drinks and chilling in the water that was just cool enough to counter the piercing sun. There was almost more ice than liquid in the glasses, and when they were done, they sucked on the ice cubes. Lena took one and glided it over her forehead.

Bella could feel her mood changing. Suddenly the sun was too much, she wanted to get in the shade, but when she stood up her head swam. Lena gathered the lines of the unicorns in one hand, took her by the arm, and together they waded to the bar to return them.

The bartender was young and deeply tanned. His eyes lingered on Bella’s boobs for a moment too long when he winked at them and thanked them for returning the floats. Lena nodded and they turned away.

“You okay?” she asked when they stuffed their beach towels in the bag. Bella nodded and fished her flip flops while pulling the sundress over her head.

They showered, got dressed for dinner, and chatted with their adorable newlywed table companions. Food was excellent, the cruise ship settled for another evening of perfect romance over the mild waters.

Bella’s mood sank by the minute. She got quieter, wondering whether drinking more would make this better or worse. She didn’t really know what was bugging her, but whatever it was, it wasn’t easily ignored.

—#—#—#—#—#—

After dinner Bella and Lena loitered around the ship. Bella didn’t want to dance. She didn’t want to listen to the troubadour performing at the Irish pub, or play billiards, or miniature golf. She was not interested in having her picture taken. She did not want a henna tattoo on her arm nor did she want to play in the ship’s casino.

“Come on,” Lena said, nudging her. “What do you want to do, then?”

“I don’t know!”

“You want to go on the deck and play Titanic?”

Bella’s mouth twitched and almost formed a smile before she could reel it back. “That’s not funny!”

“I was serious,” Lena claimed. “Oh look, that’s perfect!”

“What is?”

Lena took Bella by the shoulders and guided her towards a door. “A what—bingo? We’re not playing bingo!”

“Come now, love,” Lena said. “Bingo is the perfect pastime for grumpy old ladies!”

“Oh no. We’re not doing this!”

“Oh yes we are! If you’re going to be grumpy, then let’s go all the way. You sit down, I’ll get the cards.”

Bella stuck her tongue out to Lena’s retreating back. Bingo, of all things! She sighed and looked around. The other participants all seemed to be in their seventies, or older. Between seventies and death, like her mother used to say.

Lena returned and offered Bella a bingo card. The next round started, and they concentrated for a few minutes. The bingo hostess was cheery and in spite of herself, Bella felt her spirits improve. She had two lines on her card almost full when a small, wrinkly old man in the table to their left shouted out bingo! His partner cheered, and they hugged each other and smiled like they just won the lottery.

Bella looked at their joy and thought, Eli and I will never have that.

She stood up abruptly and started for the door, tears stinging in her eyes. Lena caught her just outside the door, physically stopping her by grabbing her elbow.

“Hey, girl, what is it?”

Bella flailed to get loose and hissed, “That was awful!”

An older female couple were approaching to enter the bingo hall, and Lena pulled Bella to the side to let them pass.

“She’s a bad loser,” Lena said, smiling apologetically.

Bella snorted and turned toward the wall. Lena guided her along the hallway, until they found a quiet corner with a window facing the calm, dark sea. Stars glimmered over the ship and reflected from the inky water.

Bella wiped her eyes and hissed, furiously, “Why can’t you just leave me be! It’s not going to get better!”

“What isn’t?”

“This… this! I’m old and fat and sad and wrinkly, and… and… useless and I’m doomed to be alone for the rest of my life, and there’s not a thing you can do about it! It’s not your fault! It’s not for you to fix! It’s not my fault! It’s just the way it is! And don’t tell me I’m beautiful!”

Lena looked at her, calmly. “Go on.”

“What do you mean, go on? I’m a useless bag of meat! What more do you want to hear?”

“All of it. Go on.”

Bella drew a deep breath. She glanced both ways of the corridor, but no one was close enough to hear nor coming their way.

“My kids don’t need me anymore,” she said with less fury and more pain. “They’re so big already, they’re almost grown up. Eli doesn’t need—no, he doesn’t want me anymore. And why should he, when he can have that skinny young hussy instead. I bet she can come—”

The silence was ringing. Lena waited for a few seconds, then urged softly, “Go on.”

“I bet she can come like a rocket,” Bella said, horrified by what was coming out of her mouth. This was something she had never confided to anyone before. Not her closest friends. Not even Eli, though he must have noticed. “Because I can’t… or I mean I can but… there was something… some complications with the twins and… it’s never been the same since.”

Lena was silent, and when Bella dared a glance at her, she looked annoyingly empathetic.

“But that’s not even the point!” she flared up again. “So it fucked up my nether section and made me less fuckable, but that’s not even the tip of the iceberg compared to what has happened to my body! I used to be beautiful! Or at least more beautiful! And now I’m… I’m… I’m like a sack of potatoes, but softer!”

“Bella—”

“No! Don’t you interrupt me! I don’t care what you say, you don’t even want to touch me! I know you don’t!”

“But—”

“That’s why you got me the bikini, wasn’t it! You didn’t want to go to the nudist deck anymore! You didn’t want to touch me! Well you don’t need to! I can do it myself! I’m the one who has to deal with my hideous saggy boobs and all this lard! Not you! You can just mind your own perfect body!”

Bella stormed off, tears running down her face. She was ashamed and horrified about what she had just said, even when every word of it was true. She wished that Lena would ask the ship personnel for a separate cabin, or maybe to be shipped out of the cruise early; she didn’t care. She hid herself in their cabin, and when Lena came in, hours later, she pretended to be asleep.

—#—#—#—#—#—

The following morning was awkward. Bella was grumpy and ashamed, and avoided looking at Lena. Lena was uncharacteristically quiet and subdued, and it was a relief when at breakfast Sue and David blabbered on and on about the jeep safari they had attended.

After breakfast, Lena guided Bella back to their cabin and sat her down on her bed.

“What is this, an intervention?” Bella asked sullenly.

“Yes. We need to talk about last night.”

“I’m sorry, okay? Can’t we just forget about it and move on?”

“Sorry for what?”

Lena was looking at her with dark, serious eyes. She looked gaunt and pale, and more her age when she wasn’t wearing her trademark smile.

“I’m sorry I unloaded on you,” said Bella. “You’re not responsible for my shit. I’m sorry I’m such a lost cause.”

“Oh, no. No. No!” Lena said, taking her hand. Bella looked down, noticing how her fingers looked plump and chubby next to Lena’s long, slim ones. She could still see the tan line her wedding ring had left.

Softly, Lena said, “Bella, listen to me.”

Bella made a noncommittal grunt.

“Eli is an idiot. I never thought he was the sharpest knife in the drawer, and this just confirms it. He has some sort of midlife crisis, and when that gold-digger of a girl crossed his path, he was too stupid to keep it in his pants. He will regret it later, mark my words.”

Bella shrugged.

“You’re not listening. Listen to me, Bella.”

Lena paused for dramatic effect and squeezed Bella’s hand. She stayed silent until Bella looked at her, and then said empathically, “There’s nothing wrong with your body.”

Bella snorted and pulled her hand away. “Look, you don’t need to be nice about it. I know I’m spoiled goods.”

“No you’re not! Bella! God, you’re so thick sometimes!”

“Yes, exactly!”

“Gaah! Okay. Hey. Let me lay it down for you. First, you’ve made people inside your amazing body. Four of them. That is such an amazing accomplishment. And after making them, you have nourished them with your body.”

“So has half the species!”

“Yes but it is—your body is supposed to change with the life you live! It happens to all of us. You are exactly as you should be.”

Bella let out a short laugh. It came out so bitter she swallowed the rest of it.

“I wasn’t much to begin with,” she said. “Short and fat. But I had good boobs when I was young. When we were young. Now I’ve ballooned to this… this… cow, and you’re as beautiful as you ever were! If not more!”

She looked at Lena, defiantly.

Lena met her gaze. “No.”

“No?”

“No. You were so perfect, so feminine, so beautiful. And you still are! You were everything I wasn’t. I was always too tall and lanky and my boobs were tiny when we were growing up. I felt like a moose, or a giraffe, towering over everyone and being so clumsy and gawky. For a while I wondered if I was really a lesbian or if I just preferred women because then it didn’t matter that I was always the taller one!”

They stared at each other. The moment stretched out, and eventually Lena sighed and gestured towards Bella. “I wish I could show you how I see you. I’ve made my peace with my body; I really wish you could do the same. Want to tell me about it?”

“About what?”

“What happened to you after the twins.”

Bella could feel the blush creeping up her neck. “Oh, that. Nevermind. I never should’ve said anything.”

“Tell me.”

Bella sighed and looked away. “Okay! Well… Chrissy was… she wasn’t in this perfect position. They’re supposed to come out with the back of the head first. But she came forehead first. And the midwife encouraged me on, saying I can do it because I’d given birth twice before, and… well I guess she was right, because I could do it. I mean, out she came and she wasn’t any worse for wear. But she… I think she tore something along the way.”

She glanced at Lena, who was looking at her hands with a bland look on her face.

“She also caused me to have hemorrhoids. I mean, two pregnancies, two births, twin pregnancy, and I never had a single one before that birth. I guess the pressure was so bad they were just pushed out. After her, Henry just slipped out, just like that, no fuss, no nothing. But after that… I’ve never been the same. I don’t know exactly what it was that was broken. Just that something was.”

“Did you ask the doctor about it?”

“I did! Two different ones. They both said everything looked okay, and it takes time to recover, and that if I don’t pee myself and can still come, it’s probably all okay. So then I just… stopped asking.”

Bella felt tears stinging in her eyes again. “Well, the twins are fifteen now and I haven’t recovered. So… I guess I’m not ever going to recover.”

“And that makes you feel… what?”

“What do you think? Like I’m broken! It’s no wonder Eli went for that bitch. She’s still young and perky. I bet she doesn’t have trouble coming and I’m sure she can buy lingerie wherever she wants. I bet she looks good in any clothes. And without clothes.”

Bella was getting agitated again. She could hear the strain in her voice, and tried to calm down. None of this was Lena’s fault, and she was probably embarrassed to listen to her rant.

Lena said, “Remember May? Who I was with after you started with Eli?”

“I… think so.”

The turn of conversation puzzled Bella. She vaguely remembered the girl: the type of pretty you didn’t notice at first, but who looked more beautiful as you got to know her. She had been kind of shy, but her sense of humor had been delightful, once you got close enough to hear her joke.

“She never had an orgasm in her life. Never had before me, didn’t when we were together, and I don’t expect that’s changed.”

“What… how? But…”

“Some women never do. We did have sex, and she did enjoy it. And she loved making me come, but she never did herself. Some people are just like that. That’s one end of the spectrum, and how should I put this… you were near the other end when we were young. You used to come quite easily.”

Bella blushed and shrugged. Images of their sexual escapades flashed through her mind. God, where had all the time gone? That was so long ago already!

Lena said, “What I’m trying to say is that you are being way too hard on yourself. And having a fulfilling sex life is not about orgasming. You can absolutely have a good sex life even if you never came again in your life.”

Bella looked away. “You don’t need to do this. Let’s just drop it. My sex life, or lack thereof, is not your concern. Not anymore. If it ever was.”

Lena sighed. She rubbed her temples and covered her mouth with her hands. Bella wondered about the look on her face.

“Do you want me to help you? Try to make you come?”

Bella gasped. “What?”

“You need to get over yourself and get back in the saddle. See that you’re not broken. You’re perfect the way you are, and if I can make you see that, in any way, I will. I know it’s about needing to be loved and accepted, and not so much about sex, but I think it would do you good to have an orgasm or two.”

“You don’t need to do that. You’re a good friend, really, but I know you don’t want me.”

“And what would you know about that?”

They were interrupted by alarms on their phones. They had booked a trip ashore for the day and it was time to go.

It was a visit to a tropical lagoon for swimming and snorkeling, so they packed their swimming gear and headed for the pier. The mood between them was unresolved, but not quite as uneasy as over breakfast.

The water in the lagoon was perfect, and snorkeling was so fun that Bella felt her mood improve almost against her will. They dived and splashed, and eventually retreated to sit on their towels.

“Who here do you think is the most beautiful woman of all of them?” Lena asked with a low voice and glanced towards the other patrons, some in the water, some sunbathing on the shore.

“Why do you ask?”

“Just humor me.”

Bella looked at them, eventually settling on a woman who was maybe in her thirties. She had long dark hair and a slim body, perfectly accentuated by her tiny turquoise bikini. “Her.”

“Okay,” Lena said. “Guess who’s mine?”

Bella refused to guess, and Lena pointed out a lively woman approximately in her forties. She was short and plump but spirited, and her laugh echoed over the shore. She had a white one piece on her dark brown skin, and the contrast was very beautiful. Bella couldn’t help but notice how the swimsuit formed sideboobs where it was a bit too small for her bosom.

“So, who’s your second pick?”

Bella glanced at her friend, puzzled over what was happening, but went along and picked her second favorite. They continued, and eventually even Bella started to see what Lena was going for. Bella’s picks tended to be tall and sporty, or if not tall at least slim and almost androgynous. Lena preferred curvier women, often with some amount of excess weight to their rack. Eventually Bella turned the tables by offering to guess Lena’s next pick, instead of making her own, and guessed correctly. Lena smiled at her.

“So you see it now?” Lena asked quietly. “You were always my type. You’re still my type. I was crazy about your body when we were young.”

“You were? But… but I didn’t… you never told me.”

“I did. I believe I did tell you how much I loved your body. And you know… I was in love with you once. Not just your body.”

“What? You never told me!”

Lena lay down on her towel, propping her chin on her forearms. Bella stared at the small mole between her shoulder blades suspiciously.

“Nope, I never told you. You weren’t as gay as I was. I was jealous but happy when you experimented with women, because I hoped that maybe… but then you started with Eli and got into all the business with getting married and talking about kids and all that. So I just… got over it. ”

Lena sighed. She poked at the perfect white sand, digging little holes and letting them fill again.

“It’s not like I’ve been pining over you for all these years. I really did get over it. But in some way… I didn’t. So, you see, I do know you need a plaster relationship to get your confidence up after what that jerk Eli did to you, or at least have some rejuvenating no strings sex. But I don’t know if I can do that. Because I don’t think I could handle it if it changed something between us. If you didn’t want to be friends afterwards. Or if I fell in love with you again and you didn’t feel the same. But…”

Lena’s slim back looked tense and she kept poking the sand with her index finger.

Bella looked around at the women each of them had picked as beautiful. Some were with their husbands and some with their wives. One couple was even such that they had both picked one of them. Bella looked at them and thought back to their youth. Could they have been like that? But Lena was right, Bella was more flexible than gay, and she’d had her mind set on husband and kids when they were young.

“But what?” Bella prompted.

“But I’ll do that for you if you want me to.”

“Be my plaster relationship?”

Lena sighed. “No, not that. But I’ll do what I can to make you feel better about yourself again. Sexually. I have a few aces up my sleeve.”

Bella didn’t know how to answer. They were silent, watching others swim and play in the shallow water. Sun was warm but not piercing. Salt dried on their skin, bringing memories of childhood vacations. Cruise personnel circulated, offering refreshments.

Gradually, the conversation turned to more mundane topics.

—#—#—#—#—#—

After returning to the ship, Bella spent a while before dinner reading in their cabin. Or pretending to read. All she could focus on was Lena’s offer of helping relieve her sexual frustration. The book she was reading didn’t help: it described female sexuality, and even it’s thoroughly scientific approach seemed to make her hot and bothered.

Lena returned in time to dress for dinner. She had been spending time in the ship’s boutiques, and Bella felt a twinge of annoyance at her shopping bags. No doubt she had found some delightful new clothes, and no doubt she would look perfect in them. She tried to stifle her envy and didn’t ask what she had bought.

Dinner was pleasant. The newlyweds were so delightfully happy and loving that their company improved even Bella’s mood. So what if she was doomed to be alone? Her children were next in line to experience that bliss. In a way, it felt appropriate.

Lena surprised Bella by asking if they could share the bed.

“Not for sex,” she said. “I think you could use the comfort. You’ve had a difficult day.”

“Um…”

Bella looked at the beds, which were easily wide enough for two. “Well… I guess? I mean, if I kick or something, you can switch back to yours.”

They settled into bed and Lena curled right next to Bella, spooning her. Bella was tense at first, feeling how the taller woman pressed against her back, all the way around her bum, along the back of her thighs to the crook of her knee. How her arm circled hers and she felt surrounded by Lena. She could feel her breath on her shoulder. Lena sighed and relaxed, and Bella couldn’t help but to relax with her.

She thought Lena had fallen asleep, but then she muttered, “So, have you thought about it?”

“Thought about what?”

The cabin was very dark. They could hear the engines, the never-ending soft whir that echoed through the ship. It was not discernible in daytime, and even in the quiet of the night it was barely there.

“Making love.”

“Oh.”

Bella had known what she meant. And she had thought about it. She hadn’t thought about anything else since it came up. But she still didn’t know if she wanted it or not.

“I’m reading this book,” she blurted. “Have you read it? It’s called ‘Come as you are’, and it’s about female sexuality, and it’s got this, like, it talks about responsive desire, and I think that might be me. Because I didn’t… I don’t remember if I ever initiated it with Eli… I mean, maybe, but I can’t…”

She trailed off. Her reasoning sounded clumsy, and she didn’t know what her point was.

“Are you saying you want me to seduce you?” Lena asked and nuzzled her cheek against Bella’s back. Bella shivered.

“I… might be.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I will,” Lena repeated and kissed her shoulder. “Hush now and sleep.”

“But…”

“But you wanted it now?” Lena chuckled in the dark. “No, honey. Sleep now. I’ll seduce you when the time is right.”

Bella felt conflicted. Had she really wanted it to happen right at that moment? Her disappointment made it clear to her she did, in fact, want it. She tried to sort out her feelings, but Lena’s warm and heavy proximity was so lulling she couldn’t help but relax into it and fall asleep.

—#—#—#—#—#—

The next day was cruising day, and Bella bristled with anticipation right from the moment she woke up. She had the first turn showering and kept waiting for Lena to slip in with her. She didn’t. Bella was disappointed but elated and tingly when she dressed for breakfast. They ate, and Lena kept touching her. Small touches, taking hold of her hand when they walked to the dining hall. Touching her neck when serving her the breakfast plate. Smiling at her every time their eyes met.

After breakfast, Lena said, “I think we should go sunbathe.”

Bella bit her lip, then nodded and started to rummage around for her new bikini.

“Oh, you don’t need those,” Lena said. “Let’s go to the nudist deck.”

Lena entwined her fingers with hers when they waited for the elevator. Bella still thought her hand felt pudgy compared to Lena’s, but it was getting easier to focus on the sensation rather than herself. Lena’s grip was assuring and yet light. Her hand wasn’t sweaty.

The nudist deck was nearly empty. Lena chose chairs that were near the now vacant pool and gestured for Bella to lie down. She undressed and did as she was told, settling on her tummy first. Lena started to spread the sunscreen on her skin with gentle, slow, deliberate motions. It wasn’t overtly sexual, but Bella could feel her body responding to it.

Bella’s gaze focused on a gay couple settling on chairs further away. She recognized the hanging balls guy from their first visit to the deck and was embarrassed to remember such a detail. His partner didn’t have the same issue. He was tall and blond, and from the distance it looked like his balls, high and firm, were as hairless as the rest of his body. Bella wondered idly if he shaved or if his hair was just so light and sparse it couldn’t be seen from this distance. Eli had always—

Wait! What were they doing?

The tall, blond guy stretched on his lounger, and his friend sat at the end, stroking his balls. The nerve of some people! But it didn’t look quite right—the blond guy wasn’t erect, was he?

The dark guy with hanging balls caught Bella’s eye and winked at her. Bella looked away, mortified. What was she doing, staring at other people like that, no matter what they were doing?

When Bella turned around to let Lena apply sunscreen to her front, the swingy ball guy walked past them on his way to the bar. He winked again and whispered theatrically, “Don’t worry sweetie, I’m not jerking him off! He’s been a bit worried about being nude in public, and it relaxes him when I stroke his balls!”

Bella let out a small giggle and Lena grinned.

“Gabriel!” shouted the blond man in a cautionary manner.

“Coming, dear,” the low-ball-guy answered. He winked at the women again and proceeded to the bar.

Bella settled down. She and Lena smiled at each other, their eyes twinkling.

“Okay, let’s see if this relaxes you,” Lena said in a low voice, and began touching her friend.

Bella’s breath caught at the first touch of Lena’s hands, and fought not to squirm and guide her to touch her in more intimate places. And when Lena finally did, caressing her boobs, Bella shivered and had to suppress a moan.

Lena caressed and massaged all of her, spending a long, unhurried moment spreading lotion on her labia, and Bella bit her lip and closed her eyes.

“Okay,” Lena said and pressed her hand on Bella’s vulva. “All done.”

Bella moaned quietly and looked up.

Lena smiled and pressed a little with her hand. “You want to do me now?”

Bella did. She had forgotten where they were, forgotten they were naked outside in public as she spread lotion on Lena with as much sexual teasing as she could.

She wondered about her intense, revengeful attitude, and it took some mental gymnastics before she realized she was really aroused. Her desire simmered, getting more urgent with every blob of lotion she spread over Lena’s warm, soft skin. She found herself rocking her own hips gently as she worked and forced herself to stop.

Was this Lena’s plan? Let her simmer so that she would really want it when they got to it? Oh god, what if she was going to make her wait until the evening? Or even longer than that? What if she wasn’t going to make her move all day?

Laying in the sun unstimulated helped Bella calm down a little. The sun felt excellent on her skin, and every caress of the tropical breeze made the hair on her arms stand up and her nipples harden. She tried to think unsexy thoughts, but everything seemed to lead to sex now. Would Lena really be able to make her come? She was really turned on, but that wasn’t unusual. It still took a long time and some serious trying for her to orgasm, and in the end it hardly felt worth the hassle.

After an indeterminable time, Lena suggested dipping in the pool. The water felt cool on their sunbaked skin, and they squealed and giggled when sliding in. It felt different to swim with not even a bikini on. Bella floated, feeling the cool water caress her heated pussy, and how her boobs broke the surface and her nipples felt the warm kiss of the sun again. Lena floated beside her, and when they bumped into each other she slid her hand to hold Bella’s. The sky was flawlessly blue, ridiculously clear baby blue, and stretched to infinity above them.

When they got up from the pool, Bella looked at Lena for cues of what was to happen now. She tried to prepare herself for another round of sunscreen and lounging. Lena smiled and said, “I think it might be a good time to rest in the cabin before lunch, don’t you?”

Bella nodded vigorously, hoping it meant what she hoped. Lena laughed and pulled her back when she tried to leave. She was so worked up she had almost walked off without putting clothes back on.

Bella blushed and focused on strapping her breast armour into place. Her underwear was so sturdy it felt ridiculous how thin and flimsy her summer dress was in comparison.

In the cabin, Lena stopped her.

“Stand here, wait a little.”

Lena drew the block out curtains, letting just a small sliver of light to cascade inside. In the shadowy cool of their air-conditioned cabin, she faced Bella and stroked her face. They exchanged a look. Bella’s heart accelerated to a galloping thump. Was this it?

Lena cupped her cheeks and smiled down on her. Then she met her lips in a long, slow, soft, lingering kiss. Bella felt breathless and exhilarated. She wanted to press into Lena’s arms and ask her to hurry, but she stood and shivered in place instead, feeling uncertain like it was her first time all over again.

“Do you trust me?” Lena asked softly.

Bella nodded. Lena nodded in response and started to slowly undress Bella. Every inch of exposed skin made her shiver, and by the time she was naked her breathing was great, gulping gasps.

“Okay, darling,” Lena said. “I know we have a history together, but I don’t want to just do what we always did. You said your body has changed, so I want to try a few things to see how you respond, okay? I need you to tell me if I do something you don’t like.”

Bella whispered, hoarsely, “I will.”

Lena nodded again. She stepped away to grab a silken scarf and tied it over Bella’s eyes.

“This is for you,” she explained. “I want you to focus on how you feel, not on how you look. But if you find it uncomfortable, you can take it off any time you want.”

Bella, blindfolded, nodded again and stood trembling, trying to guess what Lena was doing based on sound alone. She heard her move around the cabin, but Bella lost the feel of her then heard faint music from the opposite direction of where she thought Lena was.

…Change address and draw a line…Show my friends the silver line…

Lena took Bella’s hand then pulled her into her arms. Bella was excited to realize Lena had undressed too.

Together they danced, slowly swaying to the music, their bodies pressing together.

Lena caressed her skin, slowly tracing her back and buttocks, then back up again. Her touch was light and purposeful. Bella turned her face upwards, and was rewarded with a slow, gentle kiss.

…Open my heart like I used to… Making out long like I used to… Holding hands openly, rights to… Taking what’s mine like I used to…

As the song neared the end, Lena led Bella backwards to the bed. Lena helped her settle on the sheets and lay on top of her, kissing and caressing her face, her body warm and lean against hers. And yet it was soft, so soft, Lena’s skin was like suede. Bella shivered when Lena moved, letting her skin sweep along Bella’s, when she gradually kissed down her body. The tops of Bella’s boobs were still slightly sunburned, but she was so turned on now that even touching that tender skin felt exciting.

Lena pressed her firm thigh against Bella’s vulva, and Bella whimpered when a teasing mouth closed in on her nipple. Lena spent a long time caressing her boobs. Massaging, suckling, biting gently. Eli had never been that interested in Bella’s breasts, and after the kids, the attention he spent on them had been infrequent and uninspired.

Lena lavished her attention on them, and soon Bella felt like she was nothing but two pulsing, aching nipples. She whimpered and moaned, pressing and grinding against Lena’s thigh. She would have wanted to touch herself, go for her clit already, but Lena’s leg blocked her access.

Lena ventured lower. Not wanting to leave her boobs unattended, Bella cupped them herself, pinching and rolling her nipples. Her chest heaved and she tried to lift her pelvis to Lena’s mouth. A thought of her full bush of pubes flashed through her mind, but she was so turned on now she let it go straight away.

Lena took her time, kissing her abdomen gently, and Bella thought she might explode the moment Lena finally touched her pussy.

She did not. When Lena’s mouth ascended over her mons to her clit, simultaneously with her fingers that had somehow circled down to spread her labia open and touch her opening, Bella was surprised by two things: One, how wet she already was. She felt like a ripe peach, or a fountain, her vulva ridiculously swollen and pulsing. Lena met no resistance as she gently slid a finger into her. Two, how far she was from orgasm. She was so aroused, so extremely expectant, and yet when Lena’s tongue circled over and under her clitoral hood, she felt like it would take forever, if she even would get there at all.

She let out an exasperated moan, rocking her hip to Lena’s hand and mouth while Lena lightly suckled her clit and introduced another finger inside her. She moved in her, spreading Bella open. She crooked her fingers and Bella jolted. Lena kissed her clit and moved away, keeping her fingers inside, and Bella moved her hips, wondering why she had stopped. The music still played, but Bella had lost interest in it and didn’t recognize the song.

Lena spread something on her labia. Lubricant? Wasn’t she wet enough? She felt like she was making a puddle under her as it was. Apparently Lena didn’t think so, because she spread the lube faithfully on and inside her, including her clit. She pulled her fingers out and soon they were replaced by something else.

A dildo? Had Lena brought a dildo with her on this trip? The smooth silicone slid in easily, and Bella pressed her head back to the pillow when she felt it gradually fill her. She lifted her hips to the rhythm Lena began imposing on her. It felt good, really good, and got better when Lena massaged her mons just over her clit. Bella huffed, letting herself enjoy the sensation. A thought of what her tummy must look like when she moved like that flashed through her head, but she pushed it out determinately. It was almost dark, and Lena had wanted for her to focus on the feeling anyway.

Bella let out a disappointed groan when she felt the dildo being withdrawn.

“Hush,” Lena whispered and kissed Bella’s clit. “That was good, huh? Let’s see…”

Before Bella could complain, she felt a different dildo pressing into her. It wasn’t as wide, but when it first slid all the way in, she let a spontaneous hiss of “Yesssss,” bringing a soft chuckle from Lena.

The toy hit something wonderful inside her. Lena set the vibrations on a slow continuous rumble, and kept on an even rhythm moving the toy in and out. The insistent, steady rubbing inside her made her feel like she melted. Her insides squirmed and twitched around the welcomed intruder as it poked and massaged the front wall of her pussy relentlessly. Lena stroked Bella’s tummy, her thighs, her breasts, and kept on the steady movement. Bella lifted her hips, rocking with the toy, and started to pant.

This was amazing! This was beyond amazing! This was… this was…

Lena pressed down on her clit unexpectedly, pressing it against her pubic bone and making a small movement. It was intense, and when she increased the speed of the toy, Bella tensed up and realized she was seconds from coming. She felt doubt, she felt uncertainty, she felt the sweat break on her skin. Lena was assiduous and persistent, and suddenly Bella crashed over the edge.

Her hips had a mind of their own, trashing on the bed, but Lena’s fingers kept contact with her clit. Lena chased her, keeping her coming, still fucking her with the toy. Bella wanted her to stop, wanted to say it was enough, but all that came out of her mouth was an unintelligent “Uu-uu-uu” sound, and Lena kept at it for just a few moments too long. Bella felt her pelvis explode into a pool of lava, and to her horror she could feel something surging from inside her. Lena slowed down, easing the pressure on her clit and turning off the toy. Finally, she slid it out and stroked Bella’s thighs and tummy slowly.