Virginia Beach

Dear diary,

I am not really the write in a diary kind of person but with nothing else to do here, we go.

We arrived last night at my Grams condo. She had left me a little care basket and in among other things was this leather-bound diary and several really nice pens.

There was also a note saying she had linked one of her credit cards to my room key. Gram said I would be able to use it for a spa day or anything else I may need around the resort. She told me not to worry about how much things cost and to consider anything I purchased a graduation present. She said she would see me in a few weeks and try to and enjoy myself.

It’s still raining but they say the actual storm hit last week. The cable and internet are down, not that I am allowed to use them, leave it to Gram to find something for me to do when there is nothing to do, and she isn’t here.

I’m also not sure on diary etiquette if there is such a thing. Am I supposed to be addressing the diary as if it is my close personal confidant, or am I writing to my future self for review and self-reflection? I think it may be both.

I can’t remember the last time I put pen to paper. I mean, don’t we live in the civilized world. My finger already hurts.

Dear Diary,

It’s Tuesday

After some reflection, I have decided you are my only companion for the next week and a half until my Gram gets here. You are a place I can write my thoughts without fear of repercussions or judgment. It will be within your pages I write, then reflect on what has brought me to this point in my life. I will also be documenting what it is like to be me.

So, let’s back up a little and catch you up on the events that have landed me on this tropical island for the summer.

A little over a year and a half ago was my senior year. It was supposed to be one of the best years of my life. The pinnacle of childhood. That golden moment before crossing the magical threshold of adulthood and responsibility

A quick recap. My family, Mom, Dad, my two older brothers and I relocated to a small town in Michigan from Sunny Fort Lauderdale. It was the summer before I was to start my ninth-grade year.

So, I started from scratch in this little rural town far from the hustle and bustle of city life. I wasn’t a typical teen growing up. While my two brothers, who were four and six years older, were the epitome of cool. I was not. Not only was I a bit of a late bloomer, but I was more than a little awkward. After the move, my parents became very strict with me. I was never encouraged to make friends. When it came to social skills, well, I had none. As far as friends I may have had, they had been left behind 800 miles away.

So, I turned my attention to school, and for the next three years, I was top of the bottom ten percent of my class. Yeah, let that sink in. I did just well enough to not be noticed. On top of my academic failure and lack of friends Mom and dad never allowed me to date or attend social functions that included both sexes.

I had a few friends, but they were not popular kids. As a matter of fact, I secretly hated them for not being popular. On the first day of my freshman year, I was invited to sit at a table by what looked like a normal human. She was nice and had a great personality. What I didn’t know is every one of her friends was a bottom feeder. I was quickly shunned by the “cool kids” after that fateful day. It’s amazing how sitting at the unpopular kid’s table one time had earned me a new label. Loser. To say I had all kinds of self-image problems would be the understatement of the year.

Flash forward to my senior year and things just got worse. First, the world tried to end with a global pandemic that shut down my life. Then we didn’t’ know if we were going to have school let alone graduate. That was fine by me by the way. In the end, none of that mattered. Well not for me anyway. I ended up slipping on some ice and I fell down a flight of stairs. I remember the slip, and then I remember it was like something sucked the light away from my eyes, but nothing after that.

Among all my other injuries it Turned out that I broke my neck. Go me. My doctors were optimistic however and told me, with physical therapy over the next few years, I may even regain control of some of the motor functions in my arms, but I would most likely never walk again. I spent my eighteenth birthday in a hospital bed recovering from my second surgery and that is when the depression really set in.

Flash forward four months. I had my 4th surgery. This time to fuse two of my vertebrae for pain management. The long and short is when I woke up, I had to pee. Still groggy and disorientated from the anesthesia, I sat up and swung my feet off the bed. All the alarms started going off when things were disconnected and by the time the nurse got in the room. I was halfway to the bathroom. I don’t remember any of the incidents, but that’s what they told me when I woke up several hours later. Everything seemed to be working again, including my nerve endings. The pain was almost unbearable.

I still needed lots of physical therapy. Begrudgingly my body continued to heal and so did my mental health. I began to feel like I had been given a second chance to live my life. I wanted to live it in full. Maybe I would travel to exotic places and do exotic things.That is until my parents informed me, I would be returning to school in the fall. With no job, no money, and no life, I reluctantly did as I was told and that is when the pendulum of luck began to swing the other way.

The week before school, my gram came to visit. That would be my father’s mother. The last time I saw her was just before we left Fort Lauderdale over four years ago. I was super excited to see her. Before we moved, she was a staple at the house. She had helped raise me and my brothers and she was super cool. I’m not sure why she hadn’t been around the past few years, but I was excited to have her back in my life.

Since she was in town, and everyone else busy, my father had asked gram if she would be willing to take me shopping for school clothes and supplies. She agreed and bright an early on Tuesday morning we were off like a whirlwind and headed forty minutes away into the city.

The thing I liked most about Gram, besides everything, was she treated me like an adult. That simple fact made me realize my parents still treated me like a child.

We arrived at the day spa where I was introduced to the wonderful world of full-body massages, facials, manicures, pedicures, and waxing.

Fun side note, they hand you a little card with all the things you want to have done. Not having a clue on what I was doing I cheated on my homework so to speak and copied all my Grams answers. To my chagrin, it led to me getting my legs waxed and learning what a Brazilian is.

After much relaxation and some mile discomfort, we were off to shop for my new wardrobe.

In the past mom always took me to Walmart or the mall for clothes. Old navy was definitely a staple in my life. I mostly wore hoodies and baggie jeans, so shopping was easy and quick.

Now, Gram was having none of the jeans and t-shirt look. The first store she took me to was a boutique of some sort. Gram talked to the sales lady for a few minutes. She came over and started taking all my measurements. Then everything was a blur. Ten boutiques later and I don’t know how many packages, we returned to the house.

We brought all the bags into my Grams room. She asked if I remembered when I was little, how she would bring me outfits, and how I would put on a fashion show for her. I laughed at the memory. While she laid outfits out on the bed I stripped down to my bra and panties. Turning toward me Gram gasped and said,

“Oh, sweetie we have to do something about your intimates”

Then it was like I was in one of those old movies like pretty woman or princess diaries. I tried each thing on and did a little spin. Gram would give the final yes or no. We separated the clothes into stacks, ones to keep and one’s going back. It was a fantastic day and for the first time in a long time, I felt like a normal person.

The next day we were off like a shot again, this time Gram took me to Victoria Secrets where I was outfitted with bras, panties, stockings, and a couple of other little outfits that kind of made me feel sexy. This was a new feeling for me. She also picked out a couple of things gram said every woman should have on hand to please a man. I just blushed but didn’t turn the teddies down.

The next day we shopped for clothing accessories, belts, scarves, bracelets, necklaces, and rings. It was another wonderful day.

Once back home Gram spent the next few hours tossing out most of my old clothes and arranging outfits for me. She showed me how to get the most out of my new wardrobe with different combinations and accessories. She turned ten outfits into fifty. It was a lot to take in but so much fun.

The day before school started, we were off to the stylist to have my hair done

Fast forward to Monday morning. At the ripe old age of nineteen, my grandmother dressed me for school and did my hair and makeup. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the person staring back. The changes were subtle. You barely noticed I was wearing makeup. My new jeans and blouse accentuated all the right places without making anything stand out. I felt stunning.

I walked into school that first day and everything felt different. I noticed a lot of people looking at me. Not in a hey look there’s the weirdo way but in a give you a respectful nod as you pass kind of way. Then the unexpected happened. Janet Warren aka “THE” cool kid, came up to me and asked how my summer was. Then just like that, I was in.

Now that I was back in school, nerves slowly subsided and before the end of the first day, I had more new friends than I knew what to do with. On top of that Janet asked me to go to spring break with her and her friends. Her parents owned a time share in Cancun.

I talked with Gram about it to see if she had any tips on buttering my parents up, but she said the direct approach was best. She said to ask politely and be respectful whatever the answer. I asked, and to my surprise, they said yes. Maybe surprise isn’t a strong enough word.

Before we moved to Michigan, we went to Gram’s Condo down in Key West regularly. We were always there during spring break, and I spent most summers there. Since the move, we had not been back.

Now the new family tradition was to drag me out camping where I would spend most of the time reading and avoiding all contact with my parents. They got on each other’s nerves bad enough, they did not need any encouragement from me! So, when they said yes to Cancun, maybe this was a sign they were finally treating me like an adult and allowing me my freedom, Things seemed to change at home for the better while Gram was visiting.

More later, my hand is cramping up from all this writing.

Dear diary,

Today is Wednesday

After writing lasts night’s entry, then reading it this morning, somehow, I feel a little better. It’s kind of like when I talk to Gram. Maybe this diary is her way of letting me talk to her so I can get things off my chest. Plus, I guess it gives me something to do since the rain won’t stop.

Okay, where were we. The next monumental thing that happened in school started just before Gram left. His name was Jake. He has the most amazing shoulder-length brown hair, and his eyes were so blue they didn’t look real. And he smells so, mmmm. He was the new kid, transferring in from a school in Tennessee. The first time I saw him I felt something inside me change. I could feel my heart beating in my ears. Then our eyes met, and he smiled. His teeth were white and perfect. He must have felt it too because he walked right up to me and said,

“Hey, My Names Jake, want to go out sometime.”

I was floored. Somehow, I managed to squeak out a breathy sure. He smiled and handed me his cell phone. I put my name and number in and handed it back. He looked at the screen and smiled.

“Pleasure to meet you.”

Then he turned and walked away. I just stood there in a stupor. Finally, my phone vibrated breaking me out of the daze. It was a strange number. The text read

” Hey, you up for dinner tomorrow. J.”

I spent the rest of the day trying and failing to focus on my classes. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately Jake wasn’t in any of my classes to further distract me. Although secretly I was hoping as each hour ended and the next began, he would walk into the room.

Later, at home, I told Gram everything. She just smiled and listened to every word, then congratulated me.

She took me for Ice Cream to celebrate. We ordered and as we sat there, she seemed lost in thought, they called my name, and I went and got my cone. When I sat down Gram spoke.

“Remember, there is more to ice cream than just vanilla. Sure, there are lots of flavors, but there are also toppings.

I looked at her confused and said, “but I like vanilla”

She smiled again and said “someday you will understand.”

When we got back, I wondered how my parents were going to act when I asked about going out with Jake. Boys hadn’t been interested in me that much before, well, no boys I was interested in anyway.

I was asked to a dance one time my sophomore year and I turned him down. My reputation as a loser was bad enough, I didn’t need to ad desperate to that list. I was asked twice in my junior year, but at that time mom and dad told me no.

Expecting the worst, I decided to take Gram’s advice and just take the bull by the horns. Dad was the first to get home. I waited until he had changed then started helping him as he made dinner. That’s when I asked. To my surprise when I finally got up the courage.

He said, “sure, just don’t stay out too late on a school night”.

“Shocked and trying to not come off too excited, I just thanked him and walked casually back to my room. I shut the door jumped onto my bed burying my face in the pillow and screamed. I didn’t know what else to do I was so excited. Then with fingers shaking, I typed maybe fifty different responses to Jakes text before settling on, “sure”

I nervously checked my phone every three to five seconds for the next hour before my phone finally dinged.

He said, “Great, pick you up at six after school tomorrow”.

I spent the rest of the evening with Gram going through everything I owned trying to put together the perfect outfit for school, and the perfect outfit for my date. Gram told me to dress casually for school, then spice it up for the date to get the wow factor. She came up with several different ideas. She told me to sleep on them and make a final decision in the morning. Sleep didn’t come easy.

The next morning, I did keep it simple, Jeans and a baby doll tee. Even Gram said it was a good call. It didn’t matter though because I didn’t see Jason all day. I began to wonder if he was sick when I finally got a text,

“Going to need your address if you’re still up for dinner.”

I felt a little stupid for not sending it to him last night. I texted him the address saying I would see him tonight.

He responded “k”.

I got home and to my surprise Gram was gone. She had left a little note on my bed saying she had to leave early, but she would see me again soon. I was sad but then remembered my date and it was a welcome distraction.

I put my hair up and showered. I did my makeup and hair by myself for the first time, then slipped into a floral knot top midriff blouse that hung off my shoulders. It had a built-in shelf bra and so I was going braless for the first time as well. I wore my cute blue floral print side wrap skirt that landed just above my knee covering the nude thigh-high stockings and guarder with matching silk blue lace boy shorts.

Somehow, I managed to get ready a full hour before Jake was supposed to be there. I stood mesmerized by the person looking back at me in the full-length mirror in the hall. I wondered if I would be able to do it without Gram’s assistants, but she had taught me well over the past few days. I thought I looked good for the first time in my life. No, I just didn’t look good, I was sexy as hell.

As I walked past the mirror in the hall, checking myself out for the umpteenth time, I began to have second thoughts about the outfit. I noticed even my eyes were drawn to the crisscrossed lace that barely held in my cleavage. As I turned this way and that trying to decide if it was a little risqué for a first date, I noticed as the skirt twirled you could see the top of my stocking and guarder.

I made my mind up to change and started toward my bedroom when mom came up the stairs. I saw her eyes go wide and then narrow.

“Another one of your Gram’s outfits?”

“Yeah”, I said sheepishly.

“I can’t believe you wore something like that to school.”

In truth, I wore very little of my new clothes Gram had picked out. Honestly, I felt naked in half of them. I had worn one of them I think the second or third day of school, and while I liked how the boys noticed me, I overheard one of the other girls saying I looked desperate. I didn’t want to get a bad image after being in the in crowd for a whole three days. So, I picked the more conservative stuff. Now, Mom stood there giving me the business.

“I didn’t wear this to school,” I remarked maybe just a little sharper than I had intended.

“Oh, planning on wearing them tomorrow then, I don’t think so.”

“I’m not wearing them tomorrow either,” I said getting a bit more defensive.

It was at this point I realized I had never talked with mom about my date tonight. I was beginning to wonder how I was going to broach the subject when dad came up the stairs, and to his credit saved the day.

“Wow Sweetie, you look great. What time is your date picking you up?”

“Six,” I said under my breath.

Mom whirled on him. “What, she is going out on a date on a school night and dressed like that, was anyone going to tell me?”

With that, she stormed off into the bedroom and slammed the door leaving me and dad standing in the upstairs hall staring at each other. Then his face softened, and he smiled. Dad never smiled much but when he did It was very disarming. It also made me feel warm inside. I remember thinking on each of those occasions, I wonder why he doesn’t smile more.

Anyway, I am rambling. Dad smiled and I smiled back. Then there was a nock at the door. I must have had a panicked look on my face because dad began reassuring me that everything was going to be fine, and he would talk to mom.

Then he did something he had never done before. He apologized that he had not told mom and that was his fault, and he would take care of it not to worry. I just stood there slack-jawed looking at him. With the second knock, I said, “thanks dad and turned to head down the stair.

“Home by ten,” he called out as I flew to the front door and opened it.

Jake was a site to behold. The way he lit up when he saw me. That smile and oh wow he smelled so good. I thought my knees were going to give out. He took my hand and brought it to his lips kissing it.

He asked, “you ready?”

“Yes,” I said, but I need to be home by ten.”

He smiled again and said, “no problem”.

Then he led me to his truck and took me on my first date. With all the newness in my life It had not dawned on me where we could even go with most activities still closed from the pandemic. Jake took me two tracking. It was quite a bit of fun and quite thrilling.

We ended up in a meadow along a small creek. That’s when he parked the truck and got out. I slid across the seat, and he helped me down. Then He reached into the back of the truck and handed me a blanket telling me to pick a spot.

I looked at him quizzically and he said, “It’s for the picnic.” Turning he pulled out a picnic basket and a bouquet of wildflowers he had picked.

It was so sweet. I found a spot under an old willow next to the creek and spread the blanket out. I sat down and he set the basket next to me opening the lid. There were turkey sandwiches, potato salad, and sweet tea. For dessert, there was apple pie.

After our picnic, he laid back and had me lay on his chest while we looked at the clouds. We talked about what each of them looked like.

He then casually told me a little about his family and his old life in Tennessee, but we really didn’t talk much about him. Mostly he wanted to know about me.

He seemed very surprised I had never dated and asked a lot of questions that I really didn’t feel like answering. I was tired of hearing my voice and just wanted to listen to him talk

At that moment my world was perfect. I was listening to the sound of his breathing and the wind through the trees. I began to relax and was just drifting off when I felt the caress of his fingers along my rib cage. It sent shivers through my body.

Jake took notice and asked if it tickled. I said yeah, but in a good way. Then I felt the warmth of his lips on my forehead and at once was caught up in the moment. I found myself unable to stop kissing him. It was as if his kisses were fuel for my soul. Then there was his touch, every place his hand touched it felt as if it was supposed to be there like it was a part of me.

When his thumb slipped under the fabric of my blouse my body shuddered again.

“You, okay?” He asked in a voice dripping with temptation.

“Yes,” I breathed into his mouth” I just don’t know”,

His lips met mine again cutting off my thought. His fingers became a little bolder and found the edges of my nipple. He squeezed making it as hard as one of the pebbles in the stream.

Then he was above me, kissing, wriggling, pushing, and tugging. I felt something warm press into my leg as his fingers skillfully slipped past lace and silk.

Then, oh my. Jakes’s fingers slipped back and forth across my slickness, and I felt my back involuntarily arch as a moan pressed itself through my lips. Then I felt his heat and a pinch of pain. It felt like warm liquid was filling my body. The pain brought my consciousness back to the forefront of my mind. I remember his face, eyes looking into mine, beads of sweat forming on his brow. I felt him push into me hard, one, two, three times then pull out.

I watched his eyes move down to what his hand was doing. His whole body trembled then convulsed. Then I felt something warm shoot across my belly just before he collapsed next to me.

Jake told me he loved how tight I was and not to worry about being pregnant, something that hadn’t’ even crossed my mind. He said he had pulled out in time. He picked up a napkin and began carefully wiping his seed from my belly.

He reassured me that he never did this on a first date, which I think Gram said is code for he did this all the time. Then explained he hadn’t planned on doing anything with me, so he was unprepared but next time he would have a condom.

For the rest of the evening, I was in a daze. I don’t’ know what we talked about at all. I think I was in shock. I had just gone on my first date then lost my virginity to a boy I had met the day before. He had me home a full thirty minutes early. I remember laying in my room and thinking, what happened.

The next day Jason drove me home after school and we parked behind a strip mall where all the shops had gone out of business. There my sexual knowledge was expanded as he taught me how to give him oral sex. Jason loved oral sex and I found myself performing it on him several times a day. Even at school, we would slip into a corner or a bathroom. He said I was a natural and my mouth was better than any drug. I really did like doing it, especially doing it knowing we could be caught at any second. I think I might be a bit of an exhibitionist.

So anyway, two weeks before the spring break trip, we got caught.

It was a Saturday morning and Jake had stopped by to pick me up. When he got there my mom and dad were heading out as well. I jumped in the truck, and we were off. Then I told Jake I forgot something and needed to run back home for a second. We circled the block.

By the time we got back to the house, mom and dad were gone. I told Jake to come inside for a minute and started to head toward my room with him, but then remembered the condition I had left it in.

My room was a point of contention between me and my mom. That day I regretted not listening to her and keeping it clean. At the last minute, I decided to use my parent’s room knowing it would be spotless.

Now fully naked in the comfort of a king-sized bed, without the worry of someone seeing or hearing us, I was able to let my guard down.

We were well on our way to the best sex of my life when I heard a noise, then a gasp. I looked to see my mother leaving the room calling for my dad.

Like a flash jake had his clothes back on. I could hear my dad walking up the stairs. I turned back to Jake and found he had opened the window and pushed the screen out.

I asked, “what are you doing”

He smiled then winked saying, “surviving”

Then he jumped out our second-story window. I rushed over just in time to see him getting into his truck. Then just like that, he was gone.

I turned to see my mom and dad standing in the doorway of their bedroom. Then I felt the breeze hit the wetness between my legs and was mortified. I was standing in front of my parent the exact way I had come into this world. I thought I was going to die. Then my mother walked over to the bed and ripped the comforter off tossing it to me.

She screamed, “cover yourself.” She turned and stormed out of the room. I stood there wrapped in her blanket shaking.

I couldn’t meet my dads’ eyes because I knew they would be filled with disappointment. He said we will talk about this later. Go ahead and go to your room”. He quietly left.

I threw myself onto my bed burying my face in my pillow and cried. I figured that by tomorrow most likely my life would be over. That’s when the shouting began.

I couldn’t tell what she was saying but my mother was screaming at dad for the next hour or so. Finally, when it died down dad reappeared like a wraith in my doorway.

“I know you are an adult now, but your mom and I still have some rules while living under this roof. One of those rules is not having sex in our bed. As punishment, you cannot go on spring break with your friends.

Finding my courage I said, “As you said, I am an adult now, I can do what I want.”

Dad thought for a moment then cocked his head.

“True you are an adult, and true you can do what every you want, but not as long as you are living here. While you live here our rules”.

Mom then appeared, “that’s right.” Then she walked across the room and took my laptop and my cell phone. “You can have these back when you can be trusted”

I wanted to scream

That night I lay there planning my escape. On Monday I would talk to Jake, and we could elope or something. I began going over all the plans for my Vegas wedding and despite myself, eventually fell asleep.

Monday, I ran and found Jake. I was so relieved to see his face. I ran up and we embraced. Then he held me at arm’s length and with a serious look on his face asked,

“are you ok?”

“I am,” I told him. “It’s just my parents are overreacting a little.”

He smiled and my heart melted. It was a smile that said everything is going to be alright.

Then he looked deep into my eyes and said, “I think we should take a small break till things blow over”.

Then there were words and more words as my heart shattered in my chest. I reluctantly agreed to take the break.

After a few days, I could see, my parents were not going to change their minds. I informed Janet I wouldn’t be attending spring break with her. She said she understood. Then she asked if Jake and I were still a thing. I told her we were on a break. She hugged me and told me sorry to hear that.

The next day Jake had his arm around Janet. Later, I found out through the grape vine that Jake was taking my place on the trip.

The rest of the school year was painful. When everyone got back from spring break, I found myself withdrawing from my new friends. It was hard to watch Jake and Janet.

The other problem I was having was Jake had introduced me to the wonderful world of sex. Now that I wasn’t’ having any, it became pretty much all I thought about. I was obsessed.

Jake may have broken my heart, but he wasn’t the only good-looking guy in school. So, I started to make the rounds. It wasn’t long until I got a new label. Slut

I also was constantly getting in trouble for not being where I was supposed to be, not being home on time, and sneaking out. I mean it was hard work being the local whore. I pushed mom and dad to the brink.

Janet and her crew were particularly cruel to me during the final weeks of school. So, the second to last week of school they had senior prank week. My prank was pulling each of their boyfriends into one of the bathrooms or empty classrooms and blowing their minds.

I managed to graduate, and I was thankful it was a virtual graduation, so I didn’t have to face any of them anymore.

Mom and dad sat me down shortly afterward and said that as a graduation present Gram was having me come and stay with her at the condo for the summer.

I know it sounds like fun, Key west, sunshine, and the beach but it was a retirement condo. There would be no wild parties or boys. Only old men asking if I needed help with my lotion down by the pool. The icing on the cake was mom and dad said they would be joining me for the first two weeks.

Then I was sitting in the back seat of the car listing to oldies as we headed to Florida. On the way down I did learn from mom, there are a few resorts on this key, not just this one filled with old people. But when we got here it was just as I thought, my parents are the youngest ones here.

So here we are pretty much caught up. Oh, did I mention they had a tropical storm last week so all internet and cell service is down? Not that I have access to a phone or computer right now.

So here I am sitting alone on day three of my vacation with you as my only companion.

Dear diary,

Today is Thursday

Okay, so a twist in the narrative. I met someone my own age today. Well, almost my own age. When I got up this morning the rain had stopped. As I performed my morning ritual of walking a lap around the resort there was a break in the clouds and actual sunshine touched my skin. Despite myself, I felt a little better. I guess the weather has matched my mood this last week.

As the sun-kissed my skin it felt wonderful. I decided to sulk by the pool today. So for the first time this trip, I put on my suit and headed to the pool. Apparently, all the old people had the same idea. I managed to find a corner by myself and away from the two gawkers over by the tiki hut. I just hoped they stayed on their side of the pool today. I hate when the creepy guy talked to me.

I started rubbing the tanning lotion on my skin and was engulfed with the smell of coconut. My heart sank as I thought of Janet and Jake. No doubt he had rubbed the same oil into her naked body. I was sure they were having the time of their life.

Oh, that’s my new thing by the way. I take any activity I am doing and picture Janet and Jake doing it while having sex. Yeah, I’m losing it.

Anyway, when I heard someone sit down on the lounge behind me it snapped me out of my daydream. Janet and Jake were going to have to wait. My shoulders sank as I prepared myself for an awkward unwanted conversation.

“Hey there,” came the chipper female voice from behind me.

Well, at least it’s not the old creepy guy trying to pry into my day with questions. You think he could take a hint.

I turned to face the intruder.

Hey, I said casually.

“Weather finally broke”. She continued in a very upbeat chipper tone

“Yeah,” I said with a bit more optimism in my voice as my eyes caught her side profile.

My heart leaped as I realized it was another life from my own age. Then I found myself staring at her awkwardly for several seconds before realizing I was gawking.

She had fair but deeply bronzed skin. She barely wore a micro bikini. Her waist-long blond hair was in a half-up fishtail braid, and she had sky-blue eyes. Yes, those blue eyes that turned and met mine were even more mesmerizing than Jakes. She was a sight to behold, and, at that moment, I knew in my soul I needed her to be my friend.

That sounds kind of crazy right? But something happened when our eyes met. I am almost positive she felt it too because her face seemed to brighten even more. I wish I could describe what happened at that moment. I wish I could bottle it and revisit it. Maybe I am just being weird and overreacting after going five days with no contact with anyone even remotely my age.

Ok back on track. so, her name is Allie, she is 29 so a little older than me, she is married, and her husband’s name is Brett. They are supposed to be staying at the gigantic resort about a mile from here, but Apparently, with the tropical storm something happened with some of the rooms, so they will be staying here until something becomes available.

I haven’t met Bret yet; he was off at some meet and greet or something. If he is half as cool as she is, things just got remarkably better in my life. I’ll write more later, we are going to have lunch together then do some tourist shopping.

Dear Diary,

Today Is Friday

I don’t think I will be able to sleep tonight. Today was such an adventure. First, I met Brett when I went to lunch with Allie. I wasn’t prepared. He is absolutely stunning. I hope Allie didn’t’ mind I was basically drooling all over him. Imagine young Brad Pitt with glasses at twenty-five. Brett’s a bit slimmer though. I don’t think I have ever seen a more perfectly matched couple. They seem so in love.

Brett and Allie are a stark contrast to my parents for sure. My parents hardly ever do anything together anymore.

Even here on vacation, Dad keeps his same schedule. He gets up sometime between four-thirty or five in the morning. Then he goes on a run. After that, it’s a quick shower before he makes breakfast.

That’s usually about the time I get up, way, way earlier than I want to. I can smell the toast and coffee and despite myself, just the smell of coffee wakes me up.

Reluctantly I make my way out to the kitchenette. He has breakfast waiting for me. It’s a routine we have had for as long as I can remember. It’s the only real time I ever spend with my dad. We don’t talk much but he is one of those people you just like to be around even if you’re not interacting.

He just sips his coffee and reads the paper. Yup, still reads an old-school newspaper. My dad is anything but modern. Then he usually does work stuff for a few hours until mom gets up. At least she has the right Idea. This is a vacation we should be sleeping in right. Anyway, she usually wakes up just before lunch. Maybe around eleven.

She is usually nursing a hangover, so dad is quick to have a bloody marry ready for her. Hair of the dog he calls it. That usually sets her right and her mood lightens.

It’s odd to see mom hungover now that I think about it. At home, drinking is a big taboo. Dad sometimes drinks scotch but mostly no one drinks. I guess it’s a vacation from the rules, well for some of us anyway.

Once mom starts to feel normal, there is a short speech from dad on responsibility then they disappear for the rest of the day. Dad gets back around nine but no later than eleven. He is usually a little more than drunk and the joke’s that he turns into a pumpkin after midnight.

Mom roles in sometime between when I fall asleep and when I get up in the morning. Ironic isn’t it that even though I am now a full-fledged adult I am not allowed to be out past ten, not allowed to drink, do drugs, have friends, or do anything that even resembles dating or having fun in any way. The Queen mother however can come in at any hour three sheets to the wind.

Okay, Okay, I am not going to let them ruin my evening.

So, I guess that’s usually the order of events. Well, except this morning, I guess. This morning I was awakened to the sounds of mom and dad laughing. I looked at the clock and it was almost six. I pressed my pillow over my head to block the sound but now my mind was awake. Resentfully I swung my feet out of my bed, dad would have coffee ready in a few minutes anyway.

I slipped my flip-flops on and went to see what had mother up and in such rare form at this early hour. They were laughing and talking in hushed tones as I walked into the kitchen. Dad saw me and shushed mom, she turned and saw me then burst out laughing as she made the shushing sound.

“Something funny?” I quipped.

“Nothing” mom said between giggles, “I just love you two so much” she gushed.

I gave her a who are you and where is my mother’s look, Dad pulled her close and told her he loved her two. Then she wobbled a little and belched. She laughed again and said sorry covering her face.

Who was this woman standing in the kitchen and what had she done with my real mom? She started to walk towards me, no stumble would be a better word. She stumbled towards me, and I got a good look at her. I barely recognized the woman standing before me.

She wore a short silver sparkly mini skirt split to her hip. It had an open back top made from the same material which accentuated her already ample breasts. The straps from the top crisscrossed her chest ending as a choker around her neck. She had fish net stockings on and was holding a pair of stiletto heels in her right hand. To top it off she was in full makeup. from foundation to eyeliner which had smudged a little, she was completely dolled up and topped off with cherry red lipstick.

I don’t think I have ever seen mom in full makeup. Not like this. Mom didn’t wear dresses, let alone skirts. Mom was always in tan capris, a polo shirt, and white tennis shoes. She looks 20 years younger. She looked dare I say it. Fun.

She gave me a hug and her perfume enveloped me. She smelled like vanilla and sugar. I need to get to bed she said as she clung to me. I swear if I would have let go, she would have fallen to the floor. Dad came up alongside us and took her from me.

“Okay sweety, let’s get you to bed.”

She didn’t argue but asked if he were coming. Dad looked nervously over at me and said,

“Not right now.”

Mom began to wine and beg saying she needed him.

Okay, this went from very awkward to off the scale. I turned and walked outside to try and process what had just happened and clear my head. The sun was out so I slipped back into the suite long enough to change into my suit and grab the tanning oil.

Wow talk about a rabbit trail, I wonder if this is how my brain works in real life. So, I guess I said all that to say Brett and Allie are awesome. Brett had a seminar or something he had to get to, so that left Allie and me to ourselves. I think we went to all the little tourist trap shops around the resort.

We talked about everything and nothing all day. It was refreshing and I feel like maybe the universe is smiling on me just a little today. Unfortunately, Allie said she was meeting some friends with Brett at the other resort that night and they wouldn’t be back until late. Then she asked if I was up to hanging out in the morning. She said Brett had some stuff to do and she could use the company. I got so excited I am surprised I didn’t scare her away.

It’s crazy how I feel like Allie, and I have known each other our whole life. We have spent like what, like six hours together. Maybe I am just that pathetic and starved for attention. Anyway, I am tired and need to try and sleep.

Dear Diary

Today is Monday

Ok, so I didn’t write anything yesterday or the day before. Is it weird I feel a little guilty about not writing? All I can say is it has been a crazy couple of days.

So, a couple of things. First the large resort next door is a swinger’s resort. Allie mentioned it in passing the other morning at breakfast. I acted as if I already knew it was, but I think she could tell I had no idea. Or maybe she was just gauging my reaction because, hello, that’s where they are supposed to be staying and that means they are swingers. I was pretty shocked, although I think I played it cool.

I just casually asked how long they had been in the lifestyle.

She looked at me curiously and said,

“they had always been in an open relationship, but they were new to the lifestyle. They were putting their toes in the water so to speak, just to see what was out there.”

I said, “I have always wondered about the lifestyle myself.”

Allie laughed, “oh, really,” she added.” You’re interested in the lifestyle?”

“Sure”, I retorted a little too defensively.

Honestly, the thought had never crossed my mind. I don’t know why I lied to Allie, maybe I didn’t want her to think I was uncool. Well now the deed was done, and I was apparently interested in the swinging lifestyle.

Allie smirked and said, “Well Brett will be happy to hear that. He was wondering if there was a bit more to your flirting.”

I am not sure how red I turned, but my face felt as if it were on fire. Allie picked up her cell and texted something.

“What are you doing,” I asked incredulously.

“Just texting Brett to let him know you are into him.” She said innocently,

I sat up in my chair, “you are not,”

She handed me the phone and she had so. The text just said, “she’s totally Into you.”

My mouth dropped open as I looked over at Allie who was trying to look innocent. The phone shook and I looked back to see a reply from Brett.

“Great! Ask her if she wants to join us tonight for some dogging.”

“What did he say?”

“He just invited me on a date”, I said tossing the phone back to Allie.

She looked at the screen and laughed. “So, you’re in, she said looking doubtful.”

“What’s the time frame I asked.”

She gave me a thoughtful look and then said, “well we usually set out around nine. That’s when it seems there is the most activity anyway. Things seem to die down after midnight, so we usually head back to our room around then. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds great I lied.” Well, I didn’t lie exactly.

I stood when Allie stood and returned her embrace. She whispered in my ear, “I’m pretty excited you’re coming along with us. See you in a few hours. We will meet you at the pool tiki bar at nine.”

I watched in semi disbelief as she walked away. Once the spell of her presents was broken, I began to nervously wonder what I was getting myself into. I mean I had no idea what dogging was.

The first thing that popped in my head as I thought about it, was maybe it would be Brett doing me doggy style. The thought made me flush, and at the same time, I felt sexual energy flutter in my nether regions. I mean they were swingers, so apparently, Brett and I would be doing it at some point right?

To say I was a bit frazzled was an understatement. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to decide what I was going to wear. I hadn’t packed to have fun on this trip. I ended up doing some shopping on Gram, settling on a pair of cut-offs, a lacy red thong, and a baby tee with no bra. No bra because I hadn’t packed any of the sexy ones and none in the shops fit me quite right. All I had with me was old reliable. It was comfortable and got the job done. I had not even washed it all week and there was no way I was going to have Brett see me in it. So, no bra it was.

For the next phase of my plan, I pulled my night shirt over my clothes and got in bed to wait for dad to get home. Most nights I was still up. Tonight, however, I thought it would be better if I was already in bed feigning sleep. Dad usually showered and was in bed within ten minutes of getting home. So, if he rolled in by nine, like most nights, then I should only be about fifteen minutes late meeting them.

He didn’t come home. At nine-fifteen I mustered my courage and left the suite. I was going to just run to the tiki bar and tell them I had something come up and I would be back in a little bit. I began to think of what could have possibly come up that didn’t sound lame as I carefully made my way down to the pool.

Sticking to the shadows the best I could. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Allie and Brett sitting at the bar. Then my heart sank when I saw who was sitting next to them chatting away. Mom and Dad. Of course, how could I forget mom was out here tying one on every night. What was I thinking by agreeing to meet them in the one place my mother was guaranteed to be?

I looked around at all the old people as it slowly dawned on me. I had set myself up for failure. My parents were at least Thirty years younger than anyone else here. Anyone but Bret and Allie. Realizing there wasn’t going to be any dogging for me, I tucked my tail between my legs and headed back to my room.

Shortly after my second crying spell, I heard my dad come in. I looked at the clock. It was nine fifty-five. Maybe it wasn’t too late. I controlled my breathing and feigned sleep when I heard the door to my room open. Then just like every night, I heard the click of the latch as Dad closed it.

My mind began to race. Did I dare try and go back down to see if they were still there? What would I do about mom?” My thoughts were interrupted by Mom’s laugh. I listen carefully as I heard mom and dad, talking in hushed tones, make their way past my room heading back to their room.

I heard the bedroom door shut and it was silent. Like a flash, I was out of bed and putting my clothes back on. Then as quietly as possible I made my way out of the suite stepping on every squeaky board in the place. I hadn’t even realized the floors squeaked.

Once outside I hurled myself toward the bar. I got a few looks as I barreled by several elderly folks. When I could see it, I slowed my pace and franticly began looking to where I had last seen them.

The place was packed but the two chairs at the end of the bar where Brett and Allie had been sitting were now occupied by someone else. I made two laps around the area sticking to the shadows but couldn’t’ see them. Then I saw my mother sitting with a group of people. Holy Crap, how did she get back out here so fast I wondered. She must have only gone back with dad to change. I gave one more quick look around but still no Brett and Still no Allie.

I sat down on the bench and tried not to cry. I breathed in the cool tropical air and after a few minutes, I began to regain my composure. What the hell was I doing. I’m not a swinger. I sure as hell never wanted to share Jake. I mean just the thought of him being with Janet made my blood boil.

Now I had agreed to do something I had no idea what it was with people I didn’t know. Am I that desperate for attention that I will do anything just to have a friend?

As I reflected on all the despair in my life I heard someone call my name. ” I looked up and standing in front of me was Allie, her arm locked with Brett’s.

“Are you ok, have you been crying?” Allie was at my side in an instant, does this have to do with us?”

The question caught me off guard, “No, of course not, I, I, just have some family issues I am working through, It’s not you guys. I just didn’t want you to see me like this.” Well, that was sort of the truth this time at least.

Allie took my hand reassuringly, “we can just hang out at the tiki hut if you want, we don’t have to go out.”

My eyes snapped to hers, “no” I said a little more panicked than I meant to. “I want to go with you guys tonight.”

Allie leaned forward and looked deep into my eyes, “you sure, we don’t have to do anything.”

“No”, I said, my voice steady now, “I need this. I need to do something fun to get my mind off everything.”

Now I felt Brett’s hand on mine. It was so warm. He gently pulled me to my feet.

“There is one thing we need to get out of the way first though.” He said looking devious.

I looked up into Brett’s eyes and asked, what’s that.

Then I felt his mouth on mine. Our lips seemed to melt together. I felt the flick of his tongue as his arms enveloped me. And for a moment I was somewhere else. I don’t know where lost in time maybe. Then as unexpectedly as it had happened, it was over.

“We good my little unicorn?” He asked

“Yeah”, I said, my voice sounded breathy and wanting.

Allie touched my cheek tenderly and I turned to face her. She was smiling, “Are WE good?” she asked quirking one eyebrow.

“I think so.”

“Good,” she said, let’s go dogging.

So two things, One the people at the resort next door are not old. They are young, beautiful, and full of life. And number two, dogging is not sex doggie style. Well not exactly.

Yeah, I was confused too. Apparently, dogging is when you go out and watch other people have sex. So, sex is involved but you’re not having it.

As we made our way down the beach, we passed gazebo after gazebo with all sorts of people in different sexually charged situations. The sound of pleasure filled the air all around us and I could feel the energy start to stir in me.

Allie explained they had been dogging to try and get used to the idea of people having sex around them. Allie explained that neither of them had been with someone else since they had been together. Brett said they had always agreed on an open relationship and an open marriage, but in truth didn’t know where to start. Then they had been invited to the resort by one of Brett’s friends and booked a flight.

Allie whispered, “Let’s go down here, it’s not as crowded.”

We made our way a long a torch-lit path to a gazebo glowing with soft candlelight. It was surrounded by a cluster of palm trees. It was quite picturesque with the stars and moon set in the background. Once we got closer, I could see the little benches around the outside of the gazebo for people to sit on.

Allie took my hand and led me to one of the benches more obscured by darkness. She sat to the left of me having Brett sit to my right. Each had their arm around me, and I could feel them caressing each other as we sat there quietly. I looked at Brett, he was looking in the gazebo. I then turned to look at Allie, she was smiling as she met my gaze. Then she tilted her head toward the gazebo, and I gave it my undivided attention.

From what I could tell there were two couples. The men were reclined back and the women were slowly riding them. It was beautiful to watch. The movements seemed slow, intense, and purposeful. Now and then a low soft moan would escape from the lips of one of them. The motions of the women seemed to match that of the sound of the waves in the background. Whoosh; Whoosh. The sound melded into a sensual rhythm that I found my own body and breathing syncing with. I watched as the men ran their fingers along the women’s sides and backs. It was almost like watching a choreographed dance.

I turned and looked at Brett, his eyes transfixed on the scene before him. I squeezed his hand and he squeezes back. I wondered if we would have sex tonight. I knew if he turned and looked at me at this moment, I would let him have me. My chest felt heavy, my breathing labored.

I heard the slap of skin, and my attention was turned back to the couples. They were changing positions. The woman on my left looked over toward us and smiled. She looked about the same age as Allie. She had beautiful bronze skin and big doe eyes with long lashes. Her breasts were large but perky. She had small brown areolas with nipples that looked as hard as a cherry pit. She gave us a wink then gracefully move to the table. Her husband, who looked much older than her, helped her layback as he put a pillow under her head for support, she then ran her long legs up and down his sides in a seductive manner that seem to say come, take me. He didn’t need much encouragement. I watched his hand move between her legs. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt her gasp as he entered her body. Allie must have felt the same thing as her body seemed to shutter with mine.

I looked to Allie; to see if she had noticed as well. Her eyes were locked on the couple before us and mine were transfixed on her. Allie’s mouth opened as she took a long deep breath. Her lips then made a circle as she expelled it slowly. She was feeling something alright.

Another moan turned my attention back to the slap, slap rhythm on the table. The woman’s head was now tilted back, her eyes shut tight. You could see the shock wave of energy ripple through her body with each thrust.

I caught movement from the lounge. It seemed the other couple had decided to move out of the shadows to get a better view of what was happening on the table. I couldn’t blame them as I found myself wanting to get closer as well. I wanted to be in the middle of what was going on. As the second couple moved closer to the table their bodies were illuminated by the dim lights. Apparently, the age difference of this couple was about the same as the couple on the table, with the younger of the two this time being the male.

I watched as the lady approached the table. While attractive she was nothing compared to the lady on the table. I could see her stretch marks and a long scar across her abdomen. Her breasts were a bit smaller and sagged slightly.

I know it sounds like I was judging her but really, I wasn’t, well not in a bad way I mean. Even with her flaws, she seemed confident and secure with her body. I desired that confidence in myself.

I watched her as she moved. She was as graceful as the other lady. She placed her hands on the table and leaned over the younger woman. She was watching her squirm and wriggle intently from inches away.

The young lady’s back arched as she cried out, the other woman pressed her lips to her cutting off the sound and catching the woman’s cries in her mouth. The young man then entered the older woman from behind as she was bent over the table holding and kissing the other girl. I don’t think she was expecting it because her lips broke contact as she let out a moan of her own. Then the two men’s rhythms synced as the two women clung to each other, their cries becoming a chorus rising into the night. The sound of the pleasure was overwhelming.

I felt Allie’s body shutter with mine and turned to look at her. This time she had felt it too. I watched as Allie leaned forward and kissed me.

The sexual soundtrack playing all around us faded into the background as we made our way back to their suite. No one said a word on the way back. I think we were all too scared to speak, like if we spoke it would break the spell.

I was barely in the door before Allie’s lips were pressed against mine, Brett’s warm hands kneading my breasts. I found myself franticly using one hand to tug on Brett’s belt and the other to unclasp Allie’s bra. I felt Allie’s hand on mine helping with the buckle. I moved my other hand to his buttons. Brett’s shorts slid to the floor with the belt making a thudding sound.

He stepped out of them moving us closer to the bedroom. I felt the buttons on my shorts giving one by one as I pulled the string tie freeing Allie from hers. They slipped silently to the ground, and as we stepped out of them it continued the movement toward their room. Now I was kissing Brett. Allie’s hands slid along my body pulling my shirt over my head breaking the kiss, but not our momentum.

I returned the favor and pulled Allie’s shirt and bra off in a single motion. I turned to Brett, but he was already walking down the hall removing his shirt leaving Allie and me standing there wanting in nothing but our panties.

I felt Allie’s hand on my chin, she turned my head towards our next kiss. We stood there kissing, touching, and caressing until Brett reminded us, we were neglecting him.

“You ladies coming in here or do I need to come back out there and get you.”

Allie’s eyes were wide and bright. She smiled asking, “You up for this”

“I think so”, I said returning the smile.

By the time Allie and I reached their room, Brett had transformed it into a candle-lit sanctuary. He was standing by the bed holding a bottle of massage oil.

“So, who’s first,” Brett asked with a wide grin.

“I think our guest should be first.” Allie agreed seductively, “unless there are any objections.”

I couldn’t speak, all I could do is grin and shake my head up and down like an idiot.

Allie took my hand and led me over to Brett. Once by his side, she turned me back to face her. She began trailing kisses along my neck, breasts, and stomach as she slowly sank to her knees. I watched as her fingers trailed lightly down my sides until they hooked into my thong, then the trail of kisses followed them as she slid them from my legs. She looked up at me then looked to Brett.

I felt his hand touch me, then guide me forward so I was lying face down on the bed.

Allie asked if I was comfortable, and I said,” yes”.

I heard a click then felt the drizzle of warm oil across my back. four hands worked and spread it to the rest of my body. My arousal heightened as fingers slid around my bottom and between my inner thighs, not quite touching my most sensitive places but leaving them wanting and longing for more. I lost track of whose hands were whose.

I felt Allie’s breath on my ear as she whispered, “it’s time to roll over.” She kissed my ear sending a shiver down my spine. I rolled over and was rewarded by Brett’s mouth on mine.

Allie applied more oil and began working it into my stomach and legs. I felt her lips again and again lightly touching my skin. She moved from my stomach to my inner thigh where she gave me a love bite. The feeling of teeth scraping my skin caused my body to shutter.

I began to pant like a dog as Brett move from my mouth to my neck then to my breast. His mouth was hot over my nipple, then he blew, and I felt it draw up tight. Warm oil then pooled between my breasts as he continued licking and sucking.

My attention was drawn back to Allie as she moved her body between my legs raking her nails down my inner thighs. My leg’s parted easily, opening as flower peddles to the sun.

Her kisses were hot and as wet as a rain forest as she moved from my right thigh, up around my mound, and back to my left thigh. I moaned

Brett continued to rub oil firmly into both breasts. His hands were strong. Opening my eyes, I saw him watching Allie intently. When he smiled at her It drew my own eyes to her. Most of her face was obscured by my mound. I think she had been waiting for me to look because when our eyes locked, she split me with her tongue.

I almost came off the bed. Brett pressed me back onto the bed as his hands franticly kneaded my breasts. I moaned deliciously into Brett’s mouth when I felt Allie’s fingers join the assault on the lower half of my body. Brett kiss me hard doing to my mouth what Allie was doing to me down there.

My legs begin to shake uncontrollably. Pleasure shot through me like lightning. I felt her latch on to me as my back arched. Then for the first time in my life, I truly knew what an orgasm was.

The pace slowed as the waves of passion receded. Brett moved from my side and watched as Allie kissed her way back to my mouth. She took her time. It’s like she didn’t want to leave a square inch of me untouched. When she reached my ear, she whispered

“What do you think, should we give Brett a turn?

I managed a weak “sure” as I rolled to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. I was still breathless and a bit shaky as Allie helped me to my feet.

We both turned towards Brett who was now standing at the foot of the bed. His erection was more than a little obvious despite the boxers and I found myself blushing. Allie wasted no time dropping to her knees and pulling the boxer briefs from him. She told him to sit back on the bed and he did as he was told.

Immediately she took him into her mouth. I watched in amazement as Brett began to disappear. Her lips slid halfway down before coming back up to the tip. She repeated the process three or four times before taking the entire shaft into her mouth to its base.

She held herself there as Brett bucked, Saying, “OH, God, Allie.”

Allie gagged before she pulled back letting him slip from her mouth with a wet smacking sound. She gasped for air. There was a string of saliva connecting the two of them.

Brett groaned, “Jesus Allie, you trying to make me cum already.”

She looked up at me, smiled, then did it again. He moaned.

Allie choked herself again on him before letting him slip from her mouth. Her breathing was heavy, and it made her breasts heave. She motioned for me to join her.

She continued stroking with her right hand as she winked at me and said, he isn’t going to last long at this rate, but there is something about sucking a man’s cock the just makes me gush.

I blushed a little at her comment as I noticed I was running down my legs.

“Do you want some of this delicious cock.” Allie mused with a smile that was quite devious.

I looked nervously between Allie and the thing she was stroking trying to get up my courage.

“yes” I confess shyly.

She continued to stroke Bret. Then took him in her mouth syncing with her right hand she began moving more quickly up and down. Brett groaned again. Pulling Brett from her mouth she used her hand to tilt him toward me. I leaned over, closing my eyes, and wrapped my mouth around his girth. I felt Allie release him from her grip and just like that he was mine.

I mimicked what Allie had done, knowing Brett seemed to like it. My lips slid down his shaft then back to the tip where I gave it a little flick with my tongue. I was encouraged when I felt Brett’s hips rise slightly beneath me. I moved my lips up and down his shaft a little faster, matching the speed of my hand. Allie had now moved behind me, her wandering fingers making it between my legs. I felt her breath on my neck as her finger slipped inside.

“Oh my”, she cooed, “you’re so wet.”

I began to have a hard time keeping my hand and mouth synced as I worked Brett’s shaft. Adjusting myself forward a bit more I had a better angle on Brett, and Allie had a better angle on me. I felt her finger slide across my most sensitive of places. I began to come.

I placed one hand on each of Brett’s thighs and dug my fingers in hard. Brett moaned reminding me he was there in front of me.

The first wave of pleasure waned, and I realized I was pushing my nose and lips into his pelvis. I could feel the softness of his scrotum on my chin. I had consumed him completely. I couldn’t breathe but didn’t care as pleasure took me again. I felt my throat constrict as if it were trying to swallow him hole. I could hear Brett’s voice somewhere in the distance, but couldn’t make out what he was saying

From behind heard Allie respond.

“It’s okay, baby, go ahead”.

I felt Brett’s hips begin to buck, I came up and took a huge breath before swallowing him again. This time I fell the muscles in his legs turn to steal as he cried over and over,

“I am going to cum, I am going to cum.”

I came up again for a breath, as I did Allie slipped between us taking Brett in her mouth. A little disappointed Allie was steeling my treat, I moved over a little giving her room.

I laid my head on Brett’s thigh just inches from where Allie and he met. I was breathing as I had just run a marathon. I watched Allie meet each one of Brett’s thrusts with her mouth. When his body stiffened and began to shake Allie froze in place lips wrapped around his tip. I could see him pulsing and imagined he was filling her mouth with his seed. She held him there until his body relaxed.

Allie turned and came to me, our lips met, and she shared him with me. She pulled me tight into her with one hand, her other went back to work on me.

I ran my fingers down her side and felt her shiver, I lifted my right hand caressing her face as my left hand cupped her between her thighs. She was soaking wet; I wiggled my fingers and was surprised when the middle one slipped inside her. So, I thought, her panties were crotchless.

I let my ring finger follow suit and pushed then deeper into her warmth. She moaned into my mouth. I felt Allie’s finger slip inside of me, making a come here motion deep within me.

It felt so good I began to mimic what she was doing hoping it felt as good to her as it did me.

Using her thumb, she made small circles around my tiny button. Again, I followed suit and was rewarded as she broke the kiss and clung to me.

“Oh god, oh god, don’t stop I’m cumming.”

I felt her body began to shake as her fingers joined mine. She leaned forward, body shaking head on my neck crying out in pleasure. I thought I may cum again just watching her.

Then her body relaxed, and her hand fell away. I let my fingers slip from her body and we collapsed to the floor while I held her.

I found myself wanting to see if Brett was watching us. He was on the bed and had managed to stroke himself back to life. I watched him reach over and pick up what looked like a condom. I felt the butterflies of excitement in my gut as I realized we were not done. This was going to happen.

Still caressing Allie, I watched as he tore the foil packet and pulled out the little round circle. He set the wrapper next to him and began rolling it down his length continuing to stroke himself after it was in place

At this point, I wish I could say something like, As I lay there softly caressing Allie, Bret took me from behind finishing my first night of dogging with doggy. But no, insert a long sigh here.

Instead, he picked up the wrapper and tossed it toward the trash can. My eyes followed the trajectory of the empty wrapper and caught a look at the little red numbers of the clock sitting on the dresser. seven forty-five

There was quite a bit of confusion when I bolted to my feet leaving Allie on the floor. Brett was up off the bed in a flash asking what’s wrong, is everything all right.

I blurted “I have to go, I am late, they are going to kill me”.

Then without further explanation, I bolted from the room picking up my clothing and putting it back on in the reverse order of the evening.

I opened the door and was met by the morning sun. This was not good.

I ran as fast as I could to the suite. When I got to the door, I had to pause for several moments to catch my breath. Frantically I tried to think of what to tell dad. I could think of nothing. Maybe he wouldn’t say anything. Sometimes dad surprised me like that. I took a deep breath and walked into the condo.

I could hear mom and dad laughing as I entered. Shit, mom was up. I squared my shoulders and walk toward my inevitable doom. Stepping into the kitchen they both stopped and turned to me. Mom gave me a quick look up and down and said, your shirts inside out. Then went back to her conversation with dad.

“Oh, thanks,” I said, I could hear the shake in my voice.

I watched closely to see if they had picked up on it. It didn’t seem like they had noticed.

“Hey, Dad and I were thinking we would take a break from site seeing today and maybe spend the day together as a family.”

“Sure”, I retorted, my voice sounding a little better.

“Great, go ahead and change into your swimsuit and grab a towel and we will get going”.

Still, in a bit of a daze, I went to my room, stripped off my clothes, and tossed them in the corner. I grabbed my one piece from the end of my bed and slipped it on followed by my white lace coverup and headed for the door. I was so tired it all seems like a dream.

We walked down to the beach and looked for shark teeth like we did when I was a kid. It made me miss the old days when mom and dad seemed happy all the time. Maybe it was just my innocents back then. I was beginning to wonder.

As we walked it dawned on me, they were holding hands, laughing, smiling, and making jokes. They were the parents of my distant memories. The ones I had forgotten about and wondered if they were ever real. But there they were chasing each other around, caressing, kissing, and acting like teens fresh in love. I literally pinched myself to see if it was real.

Now that I am thinking about it, I do remember my parents being happy what seemed like all the time before we moved. They were so much more involved in my life then. I also remember we took trips to different resorts in tropical places. We had family outings and family game nights.

When did that change? Why did it change?

I’m not sure but what I am realizing now is this place always makes them happy. Despite my mood swings and my poor treatment toward them since we have arrived, they have treated me with kindness.

Anyway, we walked down the beach until we reached the tourist trap. That is the actual name of the place, the tourist trap. There are a group of buildings full of touristy things as well as several restaurants and boutiques. On Saturdays and Sundays, they set up an impromptu flea market in the parking lot, and everyone wanders down.

Mom and dad stopped to look at a necklace one of the vendors had. I kept walking and browsing only stopping when I ran across some watches. With no cell phone to tell time, I considered maybe I would buy a good old-fashioned wristwatch. I don’t think I have ever owned one. There was a really cute one with a small round silver face and a thin black leather band. I stooped to look at it and heard a voice call from behind.

“Hey, not to bother you but are you Brett and Allie’s friend?”

Their names made me smile and I turned toward the couple addressing me.

“I am.” I cocked my head, they looked so familiar, but their voices were not. It felt like a DeJa’Vu moment. I watched her eyes light up at the acknowledgment.

“That’s what we thought, I’m Beth by the way, and this is my husband Rick”

“Hey Beth, Rick.” I politely nodded to each of them. She must have sensed my confusion.

“I’m sorry, we haven’t met, well not officially.”

I watched as she casually looked around to see who was in earshot. Then in a slightly lower voice, she continued.

“We were in the gazebo the other night.”

Then it clicked; I had the couples mixed up and I didn’t recognize them with clothes on. It turns out the older two were a couple and the younger two were a couple. Then the gears began to turn as I realize not only had they swapped partners, but I was not as incognito as I thought. My mind panicked, who else could recognize me. Then I thought shit, where are mom and dad.

I turned to look and saw dad paying for the necklace not fifty feet away. I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the crowd which meant they couldn’t hear me. At least that was good. Panicked I looked back to Beth, but her eyes had followed mine and I saw understanding in them.

“Oh, I am so sorry”, she said in a hushed tone, “I didn’t realize you were with someone right now”

“Oh”, Rick said as he took a casual step back turning slightly, he bent over and nonchalantly looked over some of the merchandise.

Keeping her voice low she continued, “We will leave you to it, just know if you see us around and you want to say hi feel free.”

Then she handed me a card, I took it and looked at it. It simply had her name and a suite number on it.

“Feel free to stop by anytime, we are always open for company. If we have company, feel free to join us or just watch. She gave me a wink and just like that they disappeared into the crowd and were gone. I put the card into the pocket of my coverup as mom and dad walked up behind me.

“What are you looking at,” dad asked smiling.

“Oh, I was just looking at this watch, I was thinking of getting one since I don’t have a cell to tell time.”

I flinched a little, I didn’t mean it to sound like I was complaining about not having a phone or insinuating I wanted it back. I mean I did want it back, it’s just that my intentions were genuine. We were having such a good day I didn’t want something I said to wreck it.

Mom stepped forward and asked which one I was looking at. I pointed and she had the young lady working the counter get it out. She put it on my wrist and fastened the simple leather band.

“It’s very elegant,” dad said moving closer to get a better look.

“How does it feel? “Mom asked.

“Good, I don’t even notice it on my wrist”.

“How much,” she asked the clerk.

“One fifty.”

When I heard the amount, I started to take it off, but then mom reached into her purse and handed the lady two one-hundred-dollar bills.

“Thanks”, I stammered, I didn’t know what to say. Mom never spent money on me. Not one hundred and fifty dollars anyway.

“So, let’s grab some lunch I’m starved.” She said turning back toward dad.

“Sounds great,” Dad said as he began looking around.

We grabbed a bite at one of the food trucks and then walked slowly back to the condo. As we walked by the pool, I told mom and dad I was going to jump in, the day had heated up quite a bit and I wanted to cool off. Mom said sure, see you in a little bit. And I watched as they walked up the path.

The water was warmer than I would have liked. While it was refreshing it didn’t quite have the desired effect.

I decided to swing past Allie and Brett’s Condo just to check in and maybe apologize. Maybe I could also explain why I ran out of there as I had.

I found myself walking slower and slower reflecting on last night and how intense everything was. It seems as if it had happened days ago not just hours.

Finally, my feet found their way to the front door, It was open so I knocked and called in.

An elderly lady I recognized from housekeeping came to the door.

“Hey,” I said, have they checked out?”

“Yup, just getting ready for the next tenets, can I help you with something?” She asked sweetly.

“No, not really, thanks though.” My heart sank as I walked back to the condo.

When I got back, I could hear mom and dad in their room. so, I went and laid down to take a nap. I woke up 16 hours later to the smell of coffee and toast.

So that was my last three days rolled into one big adventure. Honestly, I am only catching you up now because it’s raining.

I do feel bad for running out on Allie and Brett like that, but other than that I feel strangely at ease.

I spent time reading over this diary and it is turning into quite the tale. I am glad Gram got it for me and I am glad I am using it.

I find it fascinating how, as I read, I am upset at missed days. I feel like I missed out on part of my life because I didn’t’ write anything down.

It’s also interesting to re-read my thoughts and feelings. It’s like looking at yourself like you can see a friend. It just makes me think about a lot of stuff.

I cringe at the first few entries. They sound like the ranting of a child. I almost ripped them from the diary but then I didn’t. I think it’s important somehow to leave them as a reminder of the person I used to be, or am. Anyway, I do feel better, and I am looking forward to spending time with my parents this afternoon.

Dear Diary

Today is Tuesday

Some old friends of Dad showed up this morning unexpectedly. I haven’t seen dad this excited since I don’t know when. Anyway, they have a sailboat. Mom said they are going to sail around the keys for the next few days. Dad said I could have the place to myself, and they wouldn’t be back until sometime Thursday or Friday.

I think I might try to find Allie at the resort next door once they leave. I still haven’t come up with a good reason I bolted but I am wondering if I need to just tell the truth. After reading over the past few days again I seem to tell a lot of lies. Or at least not tell the whole truth.

Dear Diary

It’s still Tuesday.

Mom and dad left just before noon. It was surreal to watch them go. This is the first time in my life I have been left on my own for longer than a day. I kept waiting for the don’t do anything and don’t have fun speech, but it never came.

Yep, something is different with mom. Like I said before, I haven’t treated her well since we got here. She on the other hand has been overly nice. The morning I got back from Brett and Allie’s; she didn’t say anything about me coming in late. I had worked on excuses for when she grilled me later, but she never did. I thought maybe she just figured I was out before she got up, but I think she was still up. Then last night, when I got up to go to the bathroom at three in the morning, I ran into mom in the hall as she got home.

she said, “oh hey, your home” then hugged me.

It felt like she thought I was out somewhere which makes no sense because I am not allowed out after ten. At least that was the rule when we left Michigan. Did something change and they didn’t tell me. I want to ask, but I am scared if I do then the hammer will drop. Maybe this is all a test. I will have to think about it more.

I did walk down to the Sun & Shade, where Allie and Brett are staying, shortly after they left and that’s going to be a no-go. Turns out they have a lot of security and because I don’t know a room number or know her last name, they won’t help me. I guess I understand but it still really bummed me out.

On the way back I took the boardwalk down to the beach and walked along the surf. It was nice, not having anywhere to be, have anything expected of me, worrying about being late, or getting in trouble. On top of that, it was such a beautiful day. Perfect for just walking and thinking.

Dear Diary,

It is no longer Tuesday.

I walked along the shoreline last night waiting for the sunset and I saw a gazebo set back off the beach. I remembered hearing the ocean waves while watching the couples and wondered if that was the gazebo.

I heard a voice call out as I approached, and I stiffened.

“Virginia?” It was one of the old creepy guys from the pool.

“Nope,” I said coldly

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you; my name is Bruce Beach.”

“Hey Mr. Beach”, I said deliberately not giving my own. Again, my voice was cold. He didn’t seem to notice.

“Sorry, with the sun behind you I got a little confused. Great spot for sunsets,” he said smiling. “Used to come here with Virginia all the time, Virginia that’s my wife.” His eye twinkled when he said her name.

“Oh, is she here with you?” I asked, trying to sound a little less cold as I sat down on one of the benches.

No, no, she passed on several years back. It’s Just me now”

I am sorry to hear that, I said looking down into the sand.” I shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, that’s all part of life,” he continued, “we had sixty-eight wonderful years.”

“You looked a lot like her when she was younger with the sun behind you.”

“Now I can see your face, it’s not the same. I get confused sometimes.”

“It happens I said reassuringly,” I looked over finally meeting his eyes. He seemed to brighten again.

“Except the eyes, by God, the eyes are the same.”

I looked away feeling uncomfortable again.

As we sat there, he continued to talk. He told me about his six children and eleven grandchildren. He seemed to puff up a little when he got to his three great-grandchildren. But he mostly talked of Virginia.

I could tell he loved her. I couldn’t’ imagine having someone for almost seventy years then having them slip away, to never see them again. It reminded me of my grandpa, He had died when I was twelve from dementia. I remember not understanding why he didn’t remember who I was. I missed my grandpa, and my heart began to hurt for Bruce. I was pulled out of my thoughts when he said,

“It’s almost time”

I looked back at him. “Time for what?”

He pointed.

I looked and the sun was just beginning to kiss the horizon.

“It’s time for me to head back, it’s what Virginia and I used to do. If we timed it just right, we would reach the front door just before the final bit of sun would slip beneath the horizon. It’s only then you can see the green flash.”

“Green Flash?” I asked absentmindedly mesmerized by the setting sun.

“They say that at the moment the sun sets you can see a green flash. I of course have never witnessed it myself, but Virginia swore she saw it twice.”

“You never saw it?”

“Nah, he said, a bit shyly. “I was always too busy looking at her.”

“Why didn’t you just sit and watch the sunset from here? It’s so peaceful.”

“Sometimes we stayed in the early years when the moon was full, and it was almost as bright as daylight on the walk back. The truth is Virginia feared the dark. Sound’s silly being scared of the dark when you’re all grown up, but she just never liked being out after the sunset. She used to say, “nothing good comes out after the sun sets,” besides that’s when the weirdos come out.”

With this, he gave me a wink. Then turning serious he said, “I’ll walk you back if you like.”

“No thanks,” I said giving my best smile. “I think I’ll stay and watch the sunset here. I gave him a wink and spoke in a confidential tone. “I’m one of the weirdos.”

He just looked at me for a second and then burst out in laughter. I couldn’t help but laugh myself.

“Oh, to be so young and full of adventure.” He said shaking his head. “Well young lady, you be careful and have a wonderful night.”

Then just like that he turned and started walking back down the beach. I watched him go reflecting on everything that had just happened.

At the condos every time he waved or said hello to me, he was just being nice. There may have even been a chance he was mistaking me for the wife of his youth. I wondered if he had a touch of dementia. Now I felt bad for giving him a nasty look or saying something rude each time he waved or said hello. He just kept being a nice guy and I kept being, well, being a bitch. So now it turns out I am the weirdo pervert, and he was just a nice old man.

As I watched Mr. Beach walking back, he passed a woman walking this way. She waved to him as they passed, he waved back and kept walking. I watched until I lost sight of him then turned my attention back to the sunset.

I fell into a trance-like state between the sound of the waves and the smell of the salt air. The oranges and reds were so brilliant tonight. I found myself wondering if I would see a green flash. As the sun sank below the horizon, I refused to let myself blink determined to see the green flash. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I watched the last bit of sun dip below the horizon.

“I saw it, did you see it, I really saw it”

I jumped at the sound of her voice. I hadn’t heard the woman approach and it had startled me. I turned to find myself face to face with the beautiful young woman who had been in the gazebo with Beth and Rick.

“Yes,” I said, Heart now racing for a completely different reason.

That’s also God’s honest truth by the way. I do think I saw it. Right there at the end. I wouldn’t have thought so if Maria hadn’t said she had seen it too.

As soon as I saw her, all thoughts of the sunsets and green flashes had been forgotten.

If she knew Beth and Rick, Beth and Rick knew Allie and Brett.

“It’s good to see you again”, I said coolly trying not to let my excitement show. She turned and looked but there was no recognition, but her smile seemed genuine.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember, we have met?”

She had a beautiful Brazilian accent.

“No, we haven’t technically met. I know Beth and Rick and so that’s how I know you.”

“Beth and Rick?” she looked truly puzzled.

Oh, know I began to think franticly, maybe this isn’t the same woman. While I began to backpedal, my mouth kept talking.

“The other night at the gazebo with your husband. I was one of the ones watching”

“My husband? Oh, you mean Zac,” she said, now putting the pieces together. “He’s not my husband, just a good friend.”

“So you don’t actually know Beth and Rick?”

“Know them, yes, but I did not know their names.” She looked at me thoughtfully for a minute before continuing. “Zac is an old friend who has gone off to college. When he is home, we come up here to have some extra fun with no strings. Mostly however I come by myself. I am a bit of an exhibitionist. Plus, everyone here likes a unicorn.

“That’s funny I thought, Allie and Brett referred to me as their little unicorn. I just thought it was a pet name maybe but now it seemed there was more to it.

” a unicorn? “I asked?”

“It means I’m single and like boys and girls and prefer to play with couples. I have not been good at relationships, and this is just easier for me. I like the boys, but I like the girls more. I get all the fun and none of the jealousy. Everybody wins.”

“Are you out Unicorning tonight?” I asked quite seriously. I thought she was going to fall down laughing right there. Apparently, Unicorning isn’t a word, but she got the point.

“I don’t know, I just walk the shoreline after work each night to see where the evening takes me. If the atmosphere is right, well then,” she shrugged but gave a rye little smile.

“How about you, are you out unicorning?” she smiled, this time controlling her laugh

“I didn’t have any plans tonight; I just came out here to walk and clear my head as well. That’s when I met the old man.”

“Oh Bruce,” she said perking up. I can’t wait to tell him I saw his wife’s green light. He is a very nice man, and she was very nice too.”

Great, I am a bad person I thought. “Yes, he told me about his wife and the green light thing. I think I saw it too.”

“Then it is destiny, and the night has spoken. We will walk together and see what the moonlight brings us.”

Then she walked up to me and kissed me. A little confused it took me a second to realize what the heck was happening. My body however had no confusion. I found my lips melting into hers, my tongue meeting each stroke. We embraced, she smelled like coconut oil and cotton candy.

When she broke our kiss, I staggered.

‘Let’s go, she said in a whisper now holding out her hand to me.

I took it and she led me further up the path. It felt much like the night I had gone off with Allie and Brett. The cool sand and brisk night air seemed to invigorate me.

We talked in hushed tones as she began to explain how even though the beach at the Sun & Shade was private, security stopped patrolling it after dark. They also lightened up their security around the outer perimeter so people can wander on and off the trails around the property. While the security slacks in the evening they are still around if there is a problem.

Security up at the resort however was always tight as a drum, especially at the gates. You can’t get in unless you are a member or a member’s visitor.

“How do you know when we are on the resort grounds,” I asked.

“It’s the torchlight. The paths on the grounds are all lit with torches and the gazebos are lit with little electric candles.”

We continued through a maze of trails until I saw the light of the first torch.

“We are here she said still whispering.”

We passed several empty gazebos before coming to the first one with an occupant. Three couples were sitting there nude, but just talking. They waved as we passed by, and Maria waved back. I followed suit nervously wondering what I was getting myself into.

We passed a few more couples walking toward the beach where we had just come from. Maria again waved as did I but she just kept walking quietly. Eventually, we came to a spot where about six different junctions were coming together to meet the main trail. We walked just past them and then moved about twenty-five feet off the path sitting on one of several small benches. From this spot, you still had a good view of most of the trails we had just passed.

Maria still didn’t speak to anyone who passed but waved when they waved and smiled cordially enough as they did.

After about fifteen minutes and thirty couples, I reached over and lightly touched Maria’s arm. Before I could ask my question, she leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“Don’t worry, you’ll know.”

And there we sat. Several younger couples passed by. I thought they looked like a lot of fun, but Maria didn’t move. The men were very handsome, and they seemed youthful and full of life. They looked like cool kids. I felt drawn to them. Most of them didn’t even notice us however and the two that didn’t wave.

I continued to shift nervously and started to plan my escape. This isn’t what I had come to do. I wanted to find Allie and Brett and secretly I was hoping they would walk past at any moment. We sat for nearly an hour. Then like the green flash it happened.

They were an older couple. He had short brown hair with wisps of grey. Hers was shoulder-length auburn with highlights. I am not sure how but from the second they aperid on the trail walking toward us I knew. There was nothing about them that stood out, it was just a feeling deep down. He was handsome and wore a pair of khaki shorts with a Hawaiian shirt. She wore a white sundress with thong sandals. she was plain but pretty. They just looked like two people you would pass on the street and never even notice but to me, it was a green flash.

I watched as they got closer and look toward us. Our eyes met and I knew that I knew. As they passed all the hair on my body stood on end. Maria touched my arm.

She whispered in my ear; “did you feel that?”

I just nodded my head. With that, we stood in unison and followed the couple down the first path to the right.

We entered the candle-lit gazebo just behind the couple. They had stopped and turned toward us. The sexual tension in the air was palpable. Then the woman stepped forward and kissed Maria. It was a powerful kiss that made her body shutter. Without a word, she turned her attention toward me with the same fervor. My knees almost buckled. She broke the kiss and looked deep into my eyes before taking my hand leading me over to her husband. She kissed him, then placed my hand in his.

Then I was lost in his kiss and embrace. The cool night air caressed my skin. But I have no recollection of us removing our clothes. I remember the tase of his manhood and the smell of his sent was a familiar one, but I had never met this man before. I remember his heat when he entered me. But I don’t remember him lay me down. I remember hearing cries of passion that pierced my soul, but I didn’t realize they were mine. I remember watching his wife caressing Maria as they lay in each other’s arms watching me ride him slowly. I don’t remember when the two of them had finished. I remember his body shudder from his orgasm, his breathing became labored. I don’t remember how many times I had climaxed myself. I remember watching their fingers intertwine as they left. I don’t remember any of us ever speaking a word.

Another couple broke the spell when they asked if we were still entertaining. My body was still reeling from what had just happened, and it wanted more. I looked at Maria, and she gave me a knowing look. She extended her hand toward the couple and welcomed them.

For the next several hours I was enveloped by pleasure as we greeted several more couples. I noticed a pattern, Maria took the women, and I took care of their man.

Perhaps I became too greedy for pleasure, my eagerness finished off two men before they could attempt to satisfy my longing. I then lay there watching Maria work her magic. You could tell she loved women by the attention she gave, and the affection she poured into them. Not a single woman left wanting. My longing however only seemed to build with each lover I took.

Maria welcomed another couple but this time I watched as the two of them led Maria to the lounge. Within a few minutes, they had Maria writhing in pleasure. They were giving her a taste of her own medicine and it was fun to watch, I began to wonder if I should maybe go over to them. That’s when I noticed the spectator.

I looked outside the gazebo and was shocked by how many people were watching us. Most were couples but a few individual men were standing around. I felt him before I saw him. His chocolate color blending him into the darkness. He was a mountain of a man just outside of where all the benches were.

Our eyes met and I knew. I held my hand out toward him like I had seen Maria do. It was like the power went out from me. He walked toward me our eyes never breaking contact.

I didn’t’ even come up to his chest. He picked me up with no effort lifting me across the gazebo into the furthest corner from Maria. He pinned me to one of the lounges with a kiss.

Then his face was between my legs, and he was splitting me with his tongue. I climaxed immediately. I came two more times before I had to make him stop so I could breathe. Then I found myself on my knees in front of him. I pulled at his shorts and was greeted by a monster. I gasped. He was as long as my forearm and as thick as my wrist. I had to try. With both hands, I began to stroke his perfection. I marveled at the weight of him and his heat. My jaw expanded to its limit in order to accommodate him. I was only able to get a quarter of the way down his shaft. His head was large and felt too big to easily slide down my throat. I choked for the first time when I tried.

I started to pull back but felt his hand on the back of my head. I decided to try again. This time I made a conscious effort to relax my throat. To my amazement, it relaxed enough to let him through a little. I choked again but then felt the pressure increase on the back of my head forcing me past what I thought my limitations were. I choked yet again, this time realizing I couldn’t breathe.

Instantly I flashed to Allie going all the way down on Brett and choking. When I saw her do it and keep doing it I wondered how she could be enjoying herself so much. Now I knew, there is just something about sucking a man’s cock when he is pushing you past your limits. Every time I felt the pressure on the back of my head increase, I took him to the hilt, choking as I did. He began to breathe heavily as I moved faster up and down the length of his shaft. Then all at once pressure on the back of my head ceased. He pulled me to him. He looked at my face, tear-soaked from gagging, he lifted his shirt and dried it.

Rolling me to my back I felt his fingers begin to search for my pleasure. He took his time working them into me slowly, edging me closer and closer but never letting me get where I needed to be. He teased me until I was dripping.

Then his fingers slipped from my warmth leaving me feeling cold. But only until I felt the tip of his heat touch my swollen lips. Little by little he worked himself into me. I felt the stretch of him. It was almost a burn. There were a few times my hands went to his chest to stop him. He groaned as my body gripped him tight. He would pull back slightly working me a bit more before pushing deeper. When he pulled back the sensation was surreal. I felt as if I was being emptied.

Reversing directions He pressed back into me, this time a little faster. I could feel my body expanding. He hit my cervix and It was a new sensation. It was mostly good but sometimes there was a sharp pain, causing me to draw air in through my teeth. He would adjust and bring me sweet pleasure again as he filled me. Every inch of me knew he was there, and I came and writhed on his cock. With my walls expanded I was having an orgasm but couldn’t bear down. As he pulled out my muscle walls started to contract. I came so hard it hurt. He pushed back into me overpowering my vaginal muscles bottoming out. This time a spike of pleasure shot through my abdomen.

He began driving into me a bit faster, then harder. Before I knew it I was like a rag doll, I couldn’t tell where one orgasm ended and the next began. I saw colors. I felt my pleasure turn to pain, then back to pleasure. When I didn’t think I could take anymore I felt him thrust hard into me as his body went rigid. We came together then collapsed on the bench. I looked over to Maria, but she was gone as was the couple.

I felt him shift under me

only now noticing the blankets on the edge of the lounge. He covered us as I realized I was shaking. While I lay absorbing his warmth and listening to him breathe, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was alone. Or at least I thought I was until I heard Maria’s voice. Good morning sleepy head. I sat up and looked. She was sitting outside the gazebo on one of the benches talking with a couple. I heard her say,” see you two later”, as she stood and walked over to me.

“We have to do this again. You are amazing”.

I laughed and told her ‘I would have to think about it.’

In the heat of the moment, I had the time of my life. But now that the energy had died down. I found myself not knowing what I wanted. I felt tired.

Maria walked me back to the condo making sure I got inside safe. I invited her in, but she respectfully declined saying, maybe some other night. She needed to work in the morning.

We said our good buys and I watched her walk away. Turning I closed and locked the door. I looked at the time on my watch and it was only two in the morning. I realized I was starving.

I warmed up some food and was only going to write a little but then it felt like I had to get it all down before everything just felt like a dream. Now I can barely keep my eyes open, so I am going to bed.

Dear Diary

Today is Wednesday

Ok, just had another big day. The day started with me sleeping in till one. I went outside and was assaulted by the heat. I decided to take a swim. I put my suit on and grabbed my cover-up and low and behold there was a familiar card in the pocket. Immediately my plans for the day changed.

I jumped through the shower and went through my moms’ closet and found quite a few sexy outfits. Who is this lady? I opted for the one she was wearing the morning she was so drunk. Slipping it on it fit me rather well. Mom is a little heavier chested than me but apparently not by much. I always think of mom as having such a great body. The fact I can wear her clothes kind of makes me feel good.

Anyway, I dolled myself up for the first time since that first date with Jake. I have to say I was stunning. Grabbing my clutch, I stuffed my key card, some cash, and the little card from Beth into it and started toward The Sun and Shade. I figured since I had a room number and a name this time, I could leave a message for Beth to contact me here. This whole no cell phone thing was a pain in the ass right now. If I can talk to Beth, I can get a message to Allie and have her come over. Then I will finally be able to talk to her. Oh, I know… I am brilliant

I mustered all my confidence and walked briskly down the boardwalk to the little security station. I smiled my best smile as I asked to leave a message for Beth in Suite 2341. The officer typed on his keyboard for a minute. He informed me there was no Beth in room 2341. I furrowed my brow saying, Maybe I have the room number wrong. He asked for the last name. I said I didn’t know it and just like that we had come full circle. I opened my clutch and pulled out the wad of cash and the card Beth had given me. My room key fell to the ground as I shuffled the things in my hand around. Oh, I corrected. She is in room 2314. The guard picked my key card off the ground with a puzzled look on his face.

“West Cove condos,” he asked

“Yes,” I said looking confused.

He chuckled and slid the card through the reader. I looked shocked when my face and name appeared on the screen.

“All the resorts are linked,” he said with a smile, “West Cove is a sister resort. You only need this one card to be able to get in for the day as a visitor. I see you have a credit card linked with it. You can also use it to shop at any of the Sun and Shade stores.” Then he pulled out a wrist band and asked me to hold out my arm. “You will need this since you don’t have a Sun and Shade Resort card. It’s good until six tonight. Make sure you leave before six and don’t forget to check out when you leave, or you get on the list.”

“The list?”

“You don’t want to be on the list,” he said, the corner of his mouth turning up a little.

“Yes sir,” I said, giving a little salute.

“So, take this path through the gate and just follow it until you see the visitor center. Stop and check in there and they will get you situated.” He hit a red button, there was a buzz then a click, and the gate swung outward.

It was like Disney land for adults. I walked through the main gate and breathed in the mixture of sweet and salty smells. everything was so vibrant and colorful. There were people everywhere and an energy of hopefulness and anticipation. The feeling that all your dreams could come true seemed to permeate the air. Everyone was smiling and laughing as they greeted one another. Heck as they greeted me. They were like lifelong friends I hadn’t met yet.

Before I knew it, I found the visitor center where I was greeted by a bright-eyed brunet in an official-looking suit-wrapped mini skirt with a matching blazer.

“Good afternoon, my name is Lynda. May I be of assistance”.

“I hope so, I was told by the guard to check in here.” I held up my arm showing my wrist band. Then handed her my key card. She took it and swiped it.

“Great, she said, “and welcome, is this your first time at the Sun and Shade?”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s beautiful and there are so many people.”

“There is, she agreed. “If you could answer a few questions for us, we can help shape your best experience here at the Sun and Shade.” She looked thoughtfully at her screen. “It looks like we have most of your information already. You’re staying at West Cove?”

I shook my head up and down.

“Are you a guest with anyone here at the Sun and Shade?”

“Not really, I met a few couples over the last week, one is Allie and Brett.” There was no recognition of the name on her face, so I continued. “The other is Beth and Rick room 2314. She gave me this card.”

I handed her the card with her name and room number on it. To my surprise, she flipped it over and ran it under a black light. The logo for Sun & Shade became visible.

“Neat trick,” I said.

She typed something into the computer, then looked up. “Are you married dating or single?”

“Single”, then after a second, I added, “I am a unicorn.” I felt more than a little silly hearing the word come from my mouth.

“Really?” she seemed to brighten as she looked up from the screen. “Are you here for the Running of the Bulls tomorrow night?”

“Um, I’m not sure what that is.”

Linda reached over and picked up a little flyer. On the cover was a woman dressed in a white bone corset. It was covered in elegant lace. The corset accentuated her hourglass figure and her ample chest. She wore white garters with seamed thigh highs and matching white lace boy shorts. She was covered by a sheer white gown. The fine lace and needlework were magnificent. The gown started at her neck, then flowed downward until it pooled at her feet. She had six-inch heels that looked like they were covered in diamonds. The masquerade mask she wore was also covered in lace and what looked like large diamonds. A beaded veil hung from the bottom of the mask obscuring everything, but hazel eyes framed with black eyeliner and long black lashes, Her eyes seemed to look through me. Her sandy brown hair was piled on her head which was accented by the rind stone crown. A shiver ran through my body.

Behind the queen in the picture were several well-muscled men wearing nothing but studded leather harnesses and what looked like real bullheads with horns and everything. Across the top of the brochure, it said,

“The Running of The Bull’s Masquerade Ball.”

“Oh my,” I said continuing to look over the cover.

Linda continued, “you can find all the details in the brochure, but the basics are this. We hold this masquerade event four times a year, every fall, winter, spring, and summer. Every seventh year, however, during our summer run, we crown a new queen of the bulls.

“Is that why there are so many people here?” I asked.

“Yes, this year the event turns 49. Almost all our members return for this one specific event because we will be crowning a new queen. The resort even had to rent out all the available rooms from the other resorts to accommodate everyone. When the tropical storm hit it forced us to postpone the event until tomorrow. It’s a very exciting time and even guests are encouraged to attend and get involved.”

“Sounds like a crazy time.”

“Oh, it is.”

“So, what exactly is the running of the bulls?”.

“Have you heard of the running of the bulls in Pamplona?”

I shook my head yes.

“It’s based on that theme. Around nine tomorrow night all the women who are participating in the queen competition will gather on the main stage in our open-air pavilion. We limit the number of women competing to eleven. Nine of them are being selected through different competitions held over the last few days. Two of them are from a random drawing. The Women who wanted to participate in the run but were not a finalist gather to the right of the stage.

Then all the men who want to participate in the run, which is usually just about every one of them, are given a number. When their number block is called, they gather at the left of the stage.

On the center of the stage, there is a large round bed they cover in red velvet. It is divided into twelve sections like a giant pie. Each contestant stands in front of their pie peace. Then the current queen comes out and takes her place at the twelfth position.

At this point, twelve men, who were selected by raffle, move to the stage, one man standing by each of the women. Then at the sound of the horn, these women begin the event by giving the inaugural blowjob to the lucky twelve. They each have two minutes to get her man hard, put a condom on him, then turn around and assume the doggy position. The last woman to complete this task is eliminated. The only exception in this first round is the Queen. She cannot be eliminated. Once the remaining ten have attained the goal, the horn sounds.

“This is the signal for the men on the left side of the stage. They need to achieve an erection before they make their way to the stairs to begin their run. Once they are at the top of the stairs, they are to place a condom on, then lube up generously. They are then directed at random to one of the twelve contestants where he awaits his turn. After 30 seconds the horn sounds and the contestant’s current partner is replaced by the man behind him. Once replaced the men leave the stage and, if they are able, begin working their way through all the women to the right of the stage changing to the next partner every 30 seconds as the contestants do.”

The whole event usually takes between two and four hours, but tomorrow, because of the queen, it’s likely to take more than six. It’s a big stakes night.

“Sounds fun I quipped, what if they need to pee”.

Linda laughed, “Don’t worry, the contestants are given a break every half hour for two minutes. They can use the bathroom then if they need to. There are also water and sports drinks provided to rehydrate. They just have to be back in place when the horn blows or they are disqualified.”

“During this next phase, the girls self-eliminate until there are only three left, not including the current queen. Then that round is over and the next begins.”

“Self-eliminate? Why would they do that.”

“Well during a normal sexual encounter there are lows and highs with sex sometimes lasting for hours. In this case, because men only need to perform for 30 seconds, it’s pretty much a constant pounding for the women on the stage. Then when it becomes too much for them, they simply raise their hand. Once the other eight contestants are eliminated, we are left with three finalists and the queen.”

“Can the queen be eliminated in this round?”

“While her presents are more ceremonial than anything. If she lasts the longest, she doesn’t win again she only passes the crown along. If she does tap out before the final contestant, however, then she is considered to be dethroned by the next queen. No former queen has been dethroned in the forty-nine years we have been doing this so to do it would be something if it were done.”

“Wow, almost fifty years. so, it’s more like bragging rights, the queen is basically saying “look, I can still hang with the best of them. ”

“Exactly.” Now once they are down to the three finalists they proceed to the next round and the Twelve Bulls are brought to the stage. They are the ones wearing the masks in the brochure.”

“What’s special about them, other than being all mussels.”

“These twelve represent the cream of the crop when it comes to the male specimen. Only two of them are even club members. The rest are imported from the adult entertainment industry where they specialize in stamina. You need to be able to get and keep an erection easily.”

“Secondly, they need to measure up. These guys are blessed with both excessive length and girth.”

“Third they need to be able to pay close attention to what is going on and be able to respond and coordinate with the other men at a moment’s notice. These guys are packing some heat, and they need to be careful not to injure the women.”

“Once the round begins the girls now assume the doggie style position and will stay in those positions until the end of the contest. It makes it easier for the bulls to switch quickly between themselves as needed. In this final phase, there are no more brakes for the women. The guys rotate at their own pace in a clockwise manner. So as each bull mounts there are two waiting to relieve him.”

“The last phase is usually over quickly, the beating these women take is impressive. Again, each contestant can tap out whenever they want. In the end whoever makes it to the end either inherits the crown or takes it depending on if the former queen is still in the game.”

“Wow, that sounds crazy”

“Oh, it is” Linda assured me.

Then a voice came from my left. “Are you going to buy a raffle ticket?”

I turned and saw Beth walking up to the little pavilion.

I looked at her dumbfounded, “what, to compete That’s crazy.”

Beth continued. “I didn’t make the cut this year, but I could still get in with the raffle. The odds aren’t great with over three hundred entries. But you would have a good chance.”

“Me, why do I have a better chance.”

Linda spoke up over her laptop. “Because your odds are currently one in three,” she said with a wink. The two names that are drawn for the raffle are from one woman who is in a relationship, that’s the blue raffle ticket, and one unicorn, that’s the purple ticket”.

“So, there are only two Unicorns here?”.

“No mam, there a quite a few, but only two have decided to enter.”

“So how can I compete, the guard said I had to leave by six?”

“Oh, easy, you just need to have one of your friends sign you in as a guest. Outside visitors must leave, but guests have full resort access as long as their sponsor is here.”

“Beth stepped up to the counter.” Hey Linda, “I would like to sign my friend herein as a guest. Oh, and she will take one raffle ticket.” Beth gave me a wink

Once I was done at the visitor center Beth gave me a tour. The place was huge. She took me over to the outdoor pavilion. They already had the stage set up and were in the process of setting up chairs. Beth said they would be able to fit almost two thousand people inside.

I asked about Allie and Brett, and she told me they were around, but she hadn’t seen them yet today.

Beth then informed me that I needed a costume for the ball. She took me over to the Sun and Shade costume shop. It was huge. In the front window of the shop was the queen’s costume. It was even more beautiful in real life.

We entered the shop and we looked at several simple masks and sexy outfits. Then I saw it. It was in a glass case near the back of the shop. It was a red and black leather outfit covered in buckles and straps similar to the one worn by Harley Quinn. The main difference was it was crotchless and the corset went under the breast leaving them open and exposed. The mask was a red leather bull mask that seemed made for a queen. I pointed at it and said that one would be perfect. Beth pointed at the price tag, six thousand dollars.

“I asked if she thought they did rentals.”

Beth laughed and said, “no, probably not”.

We continued shopping but nothing stood out and the late night was starting to catch up with me.

I told Beth I thought I would head back and lie down for a bit and maybe come back over later in the evening.

She asked if I wanted her to let Allie know I was here, but I said no that I would see her tonight when I came back, or tomorrow for the party and it would be a surprise.

So now I sleep

Dear Diary,

Yup, still Wednesday,

I took a short nap then decided I wanted to go check on Mr. Beach and maybe catch the sunset with him. I haven’t been able to get him out of my head today. I still felt bad that I had been cruel to him. Tonight, I thought I would even walk him back to his condo. I did have an ulterior motive, I hoped to run into Maria, but I did want to check on Mr. Beach. I wondered if there was anyone here kind of keeping an eye on him.

I arrived at the gazebo around the same time I had yesterday, and just like yesterday, he called up as I topped the small hill.

“Virginia?” He called.

“Hey Mr. Beach, it’s me.”

“Oh, he said sounding confused again. Have we met?”

“We met yesterday,” I got closer and saw recognition in his eyes.

“Oh yes, the nice lady with Virginia’s eyes. Call me Bruce”

“That’s me, Mr. Beach, “I said, “oh and that reminds me, I saw the green flash and Maria saw it too.

“You did, he sounded genuinely excited.”

Then he told me more stories about Virginia and their children. How this used to be the only resort on this key. They had picked it because you could see the sunrise and set from here.

It wasn’t long though until he stood.

“Well, I got to be going, it’s time to get back. Did you want me to walk you back to the condo?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to sound as excited as I could. “I want to get back before the weirdos come out.”

Mr. Beach looked into my eyes as he smiled, “gods you have her eyes.”

With that, we walked back, and I watched the sun drop further and further. I realized that the sun was going to be setting just about the time we reached his front door. I kept watching the horizon trying to determine whether we should slow down or speed up. Mr. Beach never looked he just kept a constant pace.

We arrived just about the same time as the sunset. Although I didn’t see it. I found myself staring into Mr. Beaches’ eyes as he stared into mine. I saw the love he felt for her, and it was overwhelming A single tear rolled down his cheek and he thanked me. He turned and opened the sliding door and walked inside. I followed.

He asked if I wanted some water or something. I said sure and watched as he pulled a glass from the cupboard and put it under the faucet. While he did that I walked over and pulled two chairs from the little kitchen table and moved them in front of the slider that overlooked the water.

I sat down and invited Mr. Beach the sit down when he handed my glass of water to me. The moon and stars had appeared as we sat there in the dark looking out the screen door. It was so peaceful, we didn’t speak.

I finished my water then stood, walked to the kitchen putting my glass in the sink. I returned to Bruce where he was still sitting and looking out the window eyes fixed on the moon.

I felt all the hair on my arm stand up.

I slid to my knees in front of him and unfastened his shorts. Only then did he snap out of his trance to look down at me. I made sure I caught his eyes with my own and held them as I reached into his shorts. I wrapped my fingers around him, but he didn’t seem to respond to my touch. He began to protest but I shushed him gently asking, do my eyes look familiar. Yeah, he said dreamily, they are Virginia’s eyes. When he said her name, my mouth felt the life begin to return to him.

It took a long time, but when he was ready, I straddled him on the chair. I placed his hands on my hips and felt he still had strength in them. His face only inches from mine, I never let my eyes break contact with his.

“Virginia?” he asked,

“Yes, Bruce”

“God, I miss you”

“I miss you too”

I rode him as tears rolled down his cheeks. My movement was slow, and unhurried. He called her name one more time as he climaxed, then sobbed when we were done, I let my tears mix with his. I helped him to bed and tucked him in. He thanked me and before I left the room, he was asleep

When I got back to the condo Maria was sitting outside the door. She looked up and smiled. She was radiant

“Did he see the Greenlight?”

“I think he did,” I said cocking my head to one side.

“Want to go for tacos.”

“Is that code for something.”

She laughed saying, “maybe”.

I had a great time talking about our favorite music, and movies. It was like we had known each other for always and we were just catching up.

She walked me back to the condo a little after eleven. There was an envelope sticking out of the door. I grabbed it as I stepped inside with Maria. I opened it and froze. I won.

I was surprised no one came and told us to keep it down as we jumped up and down screaming for joy.

Then Maria said, “What did you win?”

Maria and I sat on the couch and snuggled in the dark while I told her about everything I could remember about the running of the bulls. I must talk too much because she fell asleep about halfway through.

So, I grabbed my diary and now I have told you.

Once we had finished celebrating, I read the letter in its entirety. There was a mandatory meeting I had to attend at seven tomorrow morning. It also stated that because this was a masquerade event that I was to tell no one I had won. None of the contestants knew if they were in until tonight and everyone was to keep the results secret.

Fine by me. It would be fun to surprise Allie and Brett. Imagine if I won.

Oh, that was the other thing. The queen gets her very own suite for the next seven years, and former queens get a suite they all share. I think they treat it like a timeshare. I will have to ask tomorrow. The best part is the 50,000-dollar grand prize. That’s right, that’s life-changing money right there. When Beth signed me up, I didn’t think I had a chance, but now I want to win.

Dear Diary

Today is Thursday

I woke Maria last night after she fell asleep to tell her I was going to bed. She asked if she could stay, and we opened pandora’s box. I now know what it feels like to make love to someone. She was tender, soft, and life-altering.

I’m not going to write more because I think I will keep last night between just the two of us for now. Maybe more later. What I will say is that it was nice to fall asleep with someone in your arms and wake up with them still there. I made her breakfast this morning. She said she would swing over Friday after work to see how it went.

Now however I have a meeting to get to.

Dear Diary,

It’s still Thursday morning and I pray my grandmother doesn’t kill me when she sees how much I spent on the Harley Quinn outfit. My hands were shaking when I handed the lady the card, and I almost lost my cool when the purchase was approved. On the plus side, I got it for half off for being one of the finalists.

They also take this contest seriously. You can never reveal who you are at any point before or during the contest. It’s all part of the illusion that anyone here could be the queen. Afterward, you can tell people but still, discourage doing so. They want to try and keep it a mystery. They said you could tell your closest friends and family if you feel the need to share.

I also didn’t get to meet any of the other contestants. Turns out they keep us all separated until the event starts. We each have our own dressing rooms and everything.

I also did my first bit of adulting when I read over the non-disclosure agreement for the Sun and Shade. Then signed it. It is a, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, type policy. I’ll have to tell Maria not to tell anyone. Although when I told her I didn’t know about any of that.

I think I am going to lay low for the rest of the day. I have an appointment at the spa in 20 minutes for a massage and to get waxed for tonight.

Dear Diary,

This is it, wish me luck

Dear Diary

Today is Friday

Mom and Dad are back and in a fantastic mood. I am glad they had a little mini romantic getaway. It feels like we are a real family again. They came in just after three this morning just after I got back if felt like old times.

Okay, you want to hear about last night. Here we go.

I checked in at six and was led to my own private dressing room. Beth was allowed to come and help me get ready since I am her guest. To say she was excited would be quite an understatement.

I spent the whole time trying to fit into my outfit. Once we finally got every strap, buckle, and pull string adjusted to the right size, it literally fit like a glove. If I ate a peanut, I think it would pop off me. I will say I look dam good.

Beth decided to apply white clown makeup to all my exposed skin and put ruby red lipstick on me. She also blocked my eyes with black liner and put big eyelashes on me. I swear I can see the curtains move when I blink

One of the officials came in and I felt very exposed and self-conscious with all my lady bits hanging out. That’s when it hit me, I was going to be in front of almost two thousand people in just a few minutes. It was all I could do to not hyperventilate. I may have looked sexy, but I didn’t feel that way in the moment. If Beth wasn’t there, I would not have gone through with it.

So, I heard the music start and some more people came in to go over rules and how things were going to work for the fiftieth time. There was a TV in our room, and they turned it on so we could see. The place was packed to capacity. When the DJ announced the beginning of the Run the crowd went crazy. I could hear them through the block walls.

Then it was just like Linda said.

I stepped on the stage with the roar of approval from the crowd. I am not sure if it was me or the fact the DJ said I was the Unicorn winner of the raffle drawing they were cheering about.

I looked to my left and saw myself on the JumboTron. There is nothing like seeing yourself 50 feet tall to get the old anxiety pumping.

I was Contestant number Ten and was moved to my spot on the bed. The crowd again went wild for contestant eleven. Once the applause subsided the music stopped, and all the lights dimmed almost to black. I watched as a single spotlight moved back and forth across the stage until it stopped.

There she was. I felt goose flesh on my whole body. It was the reigning queen of the bulls. I put my hands to my ears it was so loud. She was dressed in the same outfit from the window at the shop and the brochure. She was a sight to behold. She walked gracefully back and forth across the front of the stage to the cheers of the crowd

Finally, she took her position in the number twelve spot. Once she did the lights came back up and the announcer started going over the rules.

Then I watched as the twelve men walked onto the stage. Each wore a bull’s head mask. They walk to their designated spots stopping in front of each contestant. Some of them were already half-hard, I hoped I would get one of them, but I didn’t. My bull was completely shaved with a bit of a belly. The guys were not allowed to touch themselves once on the stage. The work was up to us. Then I heard the horn.

I dropped to my knees and completely enveloped him easily. I heard him grown as my tongue circled the little mushroom top. Immediately I felt him responding to my mouth and with a few more strokes he was hard as iron. What he lacked in size he made up for in firmness.

Quick as a flash, I put his condom on him and assumed the doggy position on the bed. He slid easily into me and began pounding away. I had only been beaten by contestant two and the queen. Contestant two wore a pink body stocking and a pink mask.

Then contestants two and eleven finished about the same time. Two wore a cute blue lace teddy with matching stockings guarder and crotchless panties. Number eleven next to me wore a solid black unitard that was crotchless. She wore a cat mask that was made from velvet.

Next was one, three, and seven. One was dressed in a bright yellow body stocking with matching heals, Three and Seven both wore red teddies with red devil horn masks. The only difference was one wore red stockings the other black fishnets. I guess that’s one of the bad things about not seeing your competitors. You don’t know if you’re wearing the same thing.

Now we come to number eight. She was wearing a black and silver full-length gown. It was split up the back and front so when she assumed the position it split revealing her creamy white skin. Her gown looked so regal, and she looked a queen.

Before I could finish admiring number eight’s gown it was over. Number nine next to me was the first one to exit the contest.

Then the queen reached her hands into the middle and all the contestants did likewise taking each other’s hands. Once this happened the horn sounded, and the bed began to slowly rotate and would continue to do so for the rest of the contest. This was new for this year. And the crowd loved it.

I am not sure what I was thinking it was going to be like, but I could have never imagined what it was. It was like a sporting event with sex. I felt energized by the crowd as I got pounded from behind. It seemed like each guy was trying to be the one who broke me. This couldn’t even be compared to any other sex I had ever had. The only way I can describe it is if you’re hanging out with your girlfriends talking about different guys you like while your guy friends take you from behind at a school pep assembly. I think that sums it up pretty good actually. I mean it felt good, but it wasn’t earth-shattering sex.

At our first break, I was feeling great. I didn’t’ have to use the bathroom but I did need to hydrate. I drank like a camel. I touched up my makeup quickly and then back to the grind.

After the break, we were allowed to change positions but had to stay in those positions until the next break. I got on my back. Turns out it was a lot more work holding my legs in the air. By the time the second break rolled around, I was ready for the change. Again, I drank like a camel and touched up my makeup. I was sweating like a pig plus all the lubes had made short work of my makeup in my lower region.

I got back on the bed in the doggy position. During this round, I tried to hold a conversation with number eleven, but the music and crowd were so loud it was almost impossible. After a few more rounds my knees began to shake so I went back to my back. Now I began switching back and forth each round trying to keep the discomfort in my hips to a minimum. Then number two didn’t make it back from the next break and she was done.

After another break, I began to wonder if the men had been arranged by their size, having us start with the smaller, then working our way to the bulls. During that round, we lost three, six, and seven just about at the same time. One and four didn’t’ return before the next round started.

Then just like that four and a half hours in we were down to four contestants. Only one more needed to drop out and we would move to the final round.

When the next round began it was evident the men were getting thicker and longer. It was during this round one of the guys hit bottom in a bad way and I involuntarily cried out. He eased up and asked if I was ok and I said yes. Luckily the round ended soon after that and I got a much-needed break. I didn’t know If I could do another round. Beth was a good coach and after a pep talk, had me back out there just in time.

Then just shy of the five-hour mark number five threw in the towel and we moved to the final round.

This year they gave a 30-minute break between this and the final round so we could go freshen up.

Beth was ready for me as soon as I walked through the door. She used a warm rag to completely remove the clown makeup. She said it wasn’t holding up and was streaking bad. She said it would look better on the screen without it. Ah yes, the screen. I had forgotten about the screen

Now and then the bed would rotate so you could see whomever they had the camera on. It was kind of exciting to see me up there getting railed from behind. But mostly I forgot it was even there.

Anyway, Beth used a cool rag and pressed it to my lady parts, and they were so thankful. I couldn’t’ believe how swollen I had become. Then I heard the music start and the DJ start announcing the three finalists.

They had stripped the bed and put on a new red velvet cover that divided it into four sections. This was it. Number eight and the queen still looked fresh. Eleven looked about done in. I hoped I looked better than her.

We assumed the doggie position for the last time that night. The bed had silk pillows we could use to help prop ourselves up as well as handles we could grip to keep us from getting slammed around too much.

The music and lights went down as they began to announce the bulls. I looked around at the girls and everyone was in great spirits and all smiles. I began to wonder how long I would last. If nothing else, it had been fun.

During the last several hours it had felt great, but I never had an orgasm. Several girls were vocal, but I don’t think they did either. There were a few times I got close but then the stupid horn blew, and it would break whatever energy my body had. I watched as the bulls surrounded us, walking in the opposite direction of the bed. They were like sharks circling getting ready for a feeding frenzy. Each man was at full attention and stroking himself. They were all huge

Then I saw him. Even though he had a mask on I recognized the tattoo on his arm. It was a bulls head. I had noticed it that night in the gazebo but hadn’t thought about it again till now. I was encouraged. These bulls may have looked intimidating, but I had gotten in a little practice with one of them unwittingly. Maybe I could do this

Then the horn sounded, and I felt warm hands followed by a warm shaft. Yup, they had definitely been working us up to these guys.

This time there was no horn to stop them or break the momentum.

The rest of the room disappeared when he entered me. It reminded me of the other night, being filled to overflowing. Holding on to that thought, I felt my body begin to respond positively to his assault.

The Queen was the first to cum, followed by Number five. I watched in awe. Then as their orgasm waned, the bulls switched out almost seamlessly. The queen came again almost immediately. The bed had rotated so I could see the giant screen. It was a sight to behold and the energy in the room began changing as the crowd quieted to hear each girl’s orgasm. Then it was my turn and I learned that the orgasms were key.

When I came all discomfort in my body disappeared. I felt multiple hands on me as the bulls switched. I felt this bull push in and reach his hand around to my button. I came hard again. As the bulls became a seamless loop. I never saw number eight left. I just looked up and she was gone. Down to three plus the queen.

After a few more minutes I felt hands on mine. I opened my eyes to look directly into the queens. five and eleven were gone. I felt her fingers tighten on mine as she came, and I could feel her sexual energy travel thru her fingertips into mine. I could hear the crowd in the background and the DJ but I was lost in my next orgasm. I quickly realized the thing that was going to make one of us tap out was not being able to breathe.

In the end, it was me. I couldn’t take another orgasm. Something I never thought I would ever hear myself say.

The crowd erupted as I was pulled toward the satin and lace-covered thrown. Where the former queen sat. I approached and bowed low like they had told me to do. I felt her hands on my cheeks as she lifted my face to hers and kissed me gently on the mouth. Then she placed a crown similar to the one she wore onto my head and stepped aside from the throne. The crowd erupted again as they began to chant long live the queen.

Then the party started for everyone else as I made my way back to my chambers where Beth was waiting for me. The first thing I did was strip out of the outfit. It took both of us almost a half hour to get out of it. She asked what I was planning on doing the rest of the night and I told her I thought I would go back to the condo and sleep. She said she didn’t blame me at all. I slipped into the shorts and baby t I had worn here, and no clothing had ever felt so comfortable.

Then an official came in and handed me some paperwork that I was to present to the office sometime in the next few days.

I didn’t hear most of it, I was exhausted. Beth walked me out the side of the building where they had a golf cart waiting for me.

The nice security guard then drove me back over to the condo where there was a note from Maria that she would swing by tomorrow.

I went inside and drank two full glasses of water. Then as I sat at the kitchen table writing in you, my parents arrived. Dads’ friend is with them. They are telling stories and talking about old times, and I don’t want to miss it.

Mom came over and asked how the last few days were. I said it’s a lot of work adulting. She hugged me and kissed my forehead and asked what I am writing.

I told her I was documenting my time here in Florida. Then she pressed the back of her hand to my forehead and told me I look warm. Yeah, I said, and I’m exhausted. Mom smiled and kissed my forehead again. I am going to join them.

More later old friend

Dear Diary,

Today is Sunday

The time has come, Allie and Brett are leaving in just a few hours and while I am sad to see them go, I am thankful for the short time we had together.

Allie knocked on the door at seven this morning asking if I wanted to hang out for a bit. I feel like I had connected with her, and I cried when I saw her.

Now to my disappointment they are packing and heading out as I speak. I tried to not let it affect me too much today. It was still good to see them, and I apologized profusely for my behavior. We still had fun and talked but I think she could tell I was feeling a bit down. She kept asking if I was alright.

At one point when we had stopped for lunch, she pulled her chair up next to me and took my hands in hers. She looked into my eyes and said,

“Every relationship is built on honesty, trust, and the truth. Even when we don’t like the truth when we are honest, we can still trust one another. You have expressed that you hope to find what Brett and I have, and honesty, trust, and the truth is why Brett, and I are the way we are and can be so happy in the life we live. I hope you know you don’t have to pretend around us. We like you and you are a lot of fun to hang out with. You remind me a lot of my best friend in college. I know you are struggling with things like a broken heart, and a family dynamic that wasn’t maybe the best in the past. On top of that, you’re trying to figure out who you are and where you fit into this big world. I want you to feel you can always come to me and I will always listen.”

Allie slid an envelope across the table. I opened it and inside was a handwritten note with her name, cell number, email, and her home address.

I looked up at her, I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, If you ever need anything, just call, text, or stop by. This isn’t goodbye, it’s I’ll see you soon.

Then I threw myself into her arms and bawled like a baby. That’s right, snot and everything. She held me till I calmed down.

Anyway, I am trying to not let it depress me. Even mom noticed I was feeling down once I got back from lunch. She came into my room and asked if I was ok. I said yes, but then I heard Allie in my head.

“Honesty, trust, and truth”.

So, I took a deep breath and said, no. that I wasn’t alright. As soon as the words were spoken, I felt myself calm. Mom crossed the room and sat on the corner of the bed. I didn’t look at her, but for the first time in a very long time, I was completely honest with her and told her everything. She stopped me when I got to the part about Maria and me having sex with all the couples in the gazebo in the Sun and shade.

I felt her hand turn my face upward to look into her eyes. She was crying.

Mom and dad were planning on getting a divorce. My Gram found out and insisted that they bring me down for the summer and they stay here for two weeks before they split.

Then mom said, “The reason she had us come here is that this is where your dad and I met and fell in love.”

How did you meet, did he work here?

“Um well not exactly, mom continued. Now she was looking at the floor. We met at the sun and Shade.”

I know, right. It turns out they had started in the swinger’s lifestyle. They had come to the resort with some friends just kind of checking it out and ended up together. On top of that, they were swingers up till I was in the 7th grade.

Mom said the reason they moved was she fell out with a friend, and she used the information to try and ruin mom and dad. They even called protective services and tried to have me taken away.

When people started keeping their kids away from me, mom knew she had to do something to protect me.

She demanded we all move and start over free from the lifestyle and free from others hurting us. That’s when we moved, and that’s when mom fell out with Gram. Gram said she needed to stay and face her problems.

I asked her if Gram knew about their lifestyle. That’s when mom said,

“oh honey, your Gram and Grandpa picked this condo for a reason.”

Yup, Mind Blown.

Mom said they had been miserable ever since. She said she was trying to make us be a family that we were not. Mom said she had wrecked everything, and it took this trip for her to figure it out. Then she told me to never tell our Gram that she was right.

I have never seen my mother cry before. It’s like she could feel my emotions and I could feel hers. She apologized so much for her actions in my life I began to get uncomfortable. Once we had both calmed down, she kissed my forehead and left the room. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Who knows maybe this is a new beginning for all of us?

Dear Diary

It’s still Saturday.

My parents stayed home tonight, and we walked down to the beach and built a campfire. Maria showed up after her shift and hung out with the rest of us. I don’t know where he got it, but dad got his hands on an old guitar. We sang old Jimmy Buffett songs in between stories of what life was like for mom and dad when I was growing up. I have no memory of a better time spent with mom and dad.

Later after we were back from the beach and had gotten ready for bed, mom pulled me aside. Turns out she really liked Maria too and is super happy for us. I told mom that we had talked about being together in an open relationship. Then I asked mom if it was ok that maybe she could walk me through what I could expect from an open relationship. She smiled and said it’s work but it’s fun and that she would be more than happy to share some of her experiences good and bad. Turns out mom and dad’s adventures could fill a book but as I fill the last few lines in this diary, I will leave you with this.